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Wilderness Church

How to be Sharp Iron

If you've ever sharpened a knife, or if you've ever seen someone sharpen a knife then you know there is a delicate process that takes place to get the correct result. It takes skill, precision, and the right tools to effectively sharpen a blade. In our life and relationships we often need to be sharpened. In this talk Travis relates the process of sharpening a knife to the necessary practice of being held accountable and holding others accountable.

Duration:: 27m
Broadcast on:: 06 May 2024
Audio Format:: mp3

Hey, hey, hey, how we doing lots of babies in here today if they start crying. It's okay. All right I want for you out of field. Oh, we like these babies. All right lots of babies. That's awesome We just got done with our squirrel camp which man it's it's so much fun and so This morning, I'm kind of a combination of a couple different things I'm exhausted because I've been running around with 18 and 19 year old guys all weekend And I'm also totally recharged because that weekend was incredible. We were so impressed with these young men that showed up And so it's just kind of that perfect combination of being exhausted and feeling good about things all at the same time And in the same way hanging out with a bunch of you know college age guys It makes me feel old and young at the same time Cuz I'm almost 42 which is kind of right there in the middle some of y'all think I'm still young most of y'all think I'm pretty old And it's kind of good to get to hang out with younger guys and to spend time with them It was just awesome and just so you know what this event is we only do this once a year we're gonna do it in May next year again and This is just a demographic that most churches are missing men are in trouble men are hurting they're in crisis especially young men know what is giving them any direction and So the church is this is kind of the demographic that the church isn't reaching And so we want to be very intentional about reaching out to those guys and the hardest part about squirrel camp is just showing up Because that's a pretty intimidating thing for 17 18 19 year old guy I mean you kind of got to have a pair just to sign up for something that you don't know anybody You're just going your mom's not gonna be there your dad's not gonna be there You're just like showing up as a man to hang out with other men That's a real intimidating thing But once they get there we we we just want to spoil them we're gonna cook good for them I mean all of our favorite foods are what the menu is for the weekend and we're gonna take them fishing And we're gonna ride jet skis and wakeboards and pull them on a tube and shoot shotguns and play poker and Race each other on tricycles. I don't know how that got mixed into the manly weekend Rod horses Turns out we learned how to rebuild the jet ski over the weekend and there's a lot of stuff that happened and Over the course of that we encourage these guys. We don't make them But we encourage them to do it if you've never caught a fish before try It's it's maybe harder than you think it is take some practice take some skill There's a lot of knowledge that goes with that same with shooting a shotgun same with riding a horse And a lot of us didn't have dads that knew how to teach us how to do all of those things And so we try to create an environment where we can just spend some time to teach some of these guys to do How to do new things and we have some talks with them over the course of the weekend based on a book called five marks of man By a pastor named Brian Tom and so several of our guys kind of shared their story and share those concepts and it's just an incredible weekend and Part of these weekends for me and this is something maybe you've never heard of before if you don't do ministry or marketing or that kind of stuff but I'm real big on something called touchstones and A touchstone is something that you give somebody and when you give it to him It give you give it meaning so when they see that thing it reminds them of a concept or an idea or an event or a relationship And so at freedom weekend, that's why we had the freedom hats. That's a touchstone It let you leave with something. That's why when you go through freedom weekend We give them the medallion that says freedom and we want you to hang in on your rearview mirror Or wear it around your neck is a reminder of that weekend and commitments that were made and hard questions that got answered And so when it comes to touchstones with that young man event This year we had some of our guys that stepped up and they supplied every one of those guys a fishing pole and a bag of lures Which is a pretty awesome gift and you know that the spiritual application there is that we're called to be fishers of men And we really want to cast a vision for these guys that God didn't just save you to save you He saved you so you could serve other people and that's kind of what the whole weekend's about and you know Jesus is the one that came up with the fishing analogy So we'll push that as far as we can and so that's a great touchstone But up until this year what we've done because I mean just simply they're my favorite things as the world is we normally give guys pocket knives And there's just something about a pocket knife man like I am addicted Obsessed whatever you want to call it with pocket knives like I can't have too many I have everyone that I've ever bought or has been given to me. I know who gave it to me I know the story behind it all that stuff in this pocket knife was given to me on my 40th birthday by my buddy Jim Keel who's in here today and to me it's become a really special thing I've never had a pocket knife this expensive before for one thing So I want to make sure I don't lose it But it's become one of those things and Jim and I have such a special relationship that every time I pull this pocket knife out of my pocket I think about you it reminds me to pray for Jim and Michelle and their family and everything they got going on And so it is just became a touchstone in my life and pocket knives just always kind of had that for me I gave pocket knives for gifts to my groomsmen at my wedding my wife didn't understand well That was a good idea, but I assured her it was and I'm pretty sure they all probably still have pocket knives because pocket knives are cool plain and simple and The easy kind of touchstone Application there is Proverbs 27 17 and it says iron sharpens iron and one man sharpens another and a lot of men's ministries Use this as kind of their foundational verse And I think it's an awesome picture and you can have a guy on anvil and their sparks and you're grinding stuff You know iron sharpens are that's such a masculine idea and like I love that I love that I connect with that I like blades and grind and all that stuff sounds cool to me and a big reason I understand that is because my grandfather who gave me Probably at least a solid foundation of my list initial pocket knife collection When he got older he couldn't do all the things he wanted to do he couldn't go hunting couldn't go fishing can do all that stuff He was tied to an IV on his couch for five or six hours every day for the last several years of his life And I was a little kid and I love spending time with him And so you know there's just not very many things you can do when you're old and sick and you want to go fishing and you want to go hunting and so he set out on a mission to make sure every knife in his house I mean was just razor sharp. I mean and he just took it to a whole new level because he didn't have anything better to do Right, he's just sitting there going out of his mind. Just I mean putting an edge on every I mean the butternoss You know cut you you gotta be careful and I remember I got an early age like 10 or 11 years old I got really he gave me this one I got really good with a wet stone like I can really put an edge on a pocket knife with a wet stone if you give me some time now Chainsaw I still hadn't figured out how to use a chainsaw starpenter. The brand new blades always cut better I as much as I try but when it comes to a wet stone and putting an edge on a blade I know how to do that and so I connect with that and I've realized though I think you just maybe came to me this weekend that that image of ironing sharpening iron like to me That's such a cool thing and like I just told you I had a great great I had an awesome grandparent father had two of them had a great dad. I've always been surrounded by great men and so this It just resonates with me. I get that verse But I've realized that some guys that's a real intimidating thing Because I don't think most men know that they're broken. I don't think you have to tell them. I think we've already kind of figured it out And I think that idea of getting sharp is real intimidating if you know that you're dull Because I mean if you're already kind of sharp, it's not that hard to keep an edge on a pocket knife I mean just a little work. She's just a couple spots in these directions clean it up with a little leather at the end But man, if you're really beat up and banged up and edges are blunded out. It's a process There's gonna be some sparks flying there's gonna be some grinding And so I think for a lot of people a lot of men especially that idea of ironing sharpening iron that sounds terrifying I don't want to push into that It's this idea of accountability and accountability is difficult it's painful it's a long game and For my entire life America's favorite Bible verse has been John 3 16. Most of y'all know it God so loved the world he gave his only son Tim Tebow put it on his eye black, you know, we know it, we know But America's most quoted Bible verse is Matthew 7 1 and I think we have two pox thing for this is Judge not that you be not judged And I think humans in general, but Americans in particular We push back from the idea of accountability because it feels like you're judging me and Tupac said only God can So what are we what we do in here that you're judging me accountability feels like something you're not allowed to do? We hate the idea of accountability because we know If you're dull, it's gonna be difficult. It's gonna be painful. There's gonna be grinding sparks are gonna fly But it's also biblical It's also necessary One of my favorite pastor slas authors Bill Holley's written a bunch of books that I've benefited from and in his book the disciple making pastor He wrote to believe you can make disciples or develop true maturity and others without some form of accountability It's like believing that you can raise children without discipline run a company without rules or lead an army without authority Accountability is to the great commission what tracks are to a train and I believe And that verse Matthew 7 1 judge not that you not be judged that is part of the sermon on the Mount Jesus said that and It's a very famous passage. Yeah, I think it was one of his most preached on messages And it's about accountability and it's about judging other people and I think it's a hard passage is a tough one to teach It's difficult. I think it's often misunderstood So I just want to go through these six verses on this topic Kind of give you the big idea and then we'll work backwards from there says in verse one Judge not that you be not judged for with the judgment you pronounce you will be judged and with the measure you use It will be measured to you. You're gonna get what you give be careful verse three Why do you see the why do you see the spec that is in your brother's eye? But do not notice the log that is in your own eye or how can you say to your brother? Let me take the spec out of your eye when there is a log in your own eye verse five he calls the entire audience the thing you don't want to be called you hypocrite First take the log out of your own eye And then you will see clearly to take the spec out of your brother's eye Then verse six one of the very few times that God mentions dogs in the Bible. He says do not give dogs What is holy and do not throw your pearls before pigs unless they trample them underfoot and turn to attack you? Here's the big idea. Maybe this isn't the big idea, but it's the big idea I'm gonna talk about today is this there is a difference between judging other people's motives and Assessing other people's behavior those are two different things. I don't think our culture knows that but they're two different things There are things that we as human beings cannot judge or hold another human being Accountable on and one of those things is motives because judging motives Is God's job judging motives is God's job if someone is doing everything right? You know, they're doing the right things are saying the right words. They're behaving in the right way And we see this all the time with guys, you know what everything looks good got a good marriage Seems like his kids like him everybody talks good about him, but there's just something about that guy. I don't like Can't put my finger on there's just something We got to be careful with that Because if they're doing all the right things, but we just have this gut feeling that they have ulterior motives It's really hard to find the authority to call them out on that I mean, we don't really know and if you look it up in scripture This kind of phrase happens all the time. I just wrote down four verses. It's in Psalms It's in Luke it's an ax it's in Romans and all of those verses almost say the exact same thing which is only God Can know the heart of man? Other men can't know the heart of men only God can do that and we don't really know the motivation behind the action We can't judge other people's motives now. I Think God gives us discernment. I think it's a God given gift. We can't develop it. We can't be cautious You can guard yourself guard our family guard our church. I'm thankful for some men in my life They're a little more skeptical than I am and they see a few red flags that sometimes I don't see because I assume the best about people a little too much sometimes But we can't judge motives We can however assess behavior When it comes the idea of a judge you only need a judge if there's a dispute, right? If both parties are already getting along, you don't need a judge, right? You can do whatever you want. Yeah, you don't need a judge But if somebody's behavior is clearly sin like if there's something they're doing that is clearly damaging them and the other people around them Then that's not really a dispute In Mark 7 it talks about the plank and the speck and it's you know pot calling the kettle black We understand that like why are you telling me to do something that you don't do? Why are you telling me not to do something that you do all the time wait nobody likes that nobody receives criticism from those kind of people but you need to know that there are people who are striving to be more like Christ and They all have specs. I don't think we get to get rid of all the specs this side of eternity I mean I think there's just issues of our heart that we're just gonna continue to wrestle with and try to give back to God until We get to go be with them But I know a lot of people that they aren't dealing with any planks There's no public overt sin in their life. They are revered and respected by the people around them Other people call on them to help and they call on other people to do the same And I got a lot of those men in my life I mean I've got a group of senior pastors at other places my dad's in the room right now My total's in the room right now Ken Brumbly's in the room right now All of these men have been given authority in my life to tell me when something's not going wrong and within this church Nick Swinford Paul Schafer chance Fagan. They're the overseers of the church. It is their job To remove the specs in my life. It's their job And you need to know that assessing behavior lets us know where people are so we can encourage and direct them closer to Jesus We can't see into people's hearts only God can do that and if we try to try we're probably gonna overstep our bounds there But we can watch people's actions and actions don't lie and Sinful behavior has to be addressed that is part of loving somebody you have to point that stuff out You have to tell them if their attitude or the habits or their relationships are sinful if they're hurting themselves or hurting other people It's your job if you love them to tell them about those things but The deal about sharpening these knives Is you got to do it at the right angle man? And every not if not every not, but there's different angles to different blades And if you don't get it just right, I mean you take this and you get it a little too flat You're not trying you're just grinding up here on the stuff that don't even cut and if you go too far this way You're defeating the purpose and you're doling it out And there's a lot of technique to sharpen in enough and nowadays There's all kind of hacks they got the little roller things and the things with all the guide rods and all that cool stuff But if if you want to get real old man about it and learn to do it on one of these There's some technique You got to have the right angle and I'm convinced when it comes to accountability in our life That right angle is we have to be in relationship with that person The number one thing you've said when somebody tried to hold you accountable and you didn't want to be held accountable was what you don't know me All right, and you said that somebody else they've said it to you. You don't know. Why are you talking to me about this? You don't even know me They can't say that if you do right If somebody knows that you know them and they know you the number one thing that we like to throw back and other people's faces Is gone that excuse is gone and all throughout scripture. We see people in relationships holding each other accountable Paul Timothy Barnabas all throughout the local church all through acts And if you spent much time in church, you've definitely seen it gone wrong and you've seen it Abused but that doesn't mean that it doesn't have to be done. It has to be done We have to be intentional about this stuff and our relationships our marriages our friendships Because there's things that we can't see in the mirror. We all have blind spots that like man If somebody put a post it note, you know right back here right now. I'm not gonna know unless you tell me and We all have those things We all have things in our lives that we can't see in our own lives and we need other people to point those out and We all need relationships where we've given people the authority to assess our behavior and to hold us accountable But even then it's still got to be done at the right angle. So what does the right angle look like? I think accountability must be done in truth and grace King David was a man of truth and grace truth reveals the problem John 832 says the truth will set us free Grace is doing it in a loving way cross like Sacrificially undeserved being careful with your tone and your words and we got to do both It's not a 50/50 kind of deal. It's not really a balance It's a hundred percent of all you got of both of those things every time Because grace without truth It seeks approval and it avoids resolution We all know parents that didn't want to discipline their kids and now nobody wants to hang out with their kids We all have had friends that wanted acceptance so bad They would tell us what we wanted to hear and we have probably all been guilty of being somebody else's yes, man We enable sin and we prohibit growth and we don't need those people in our lives and we don't want to be those people in somebody else's life And grace without truth is that it seeks approval and avoids resolution, but the other way truth without grace is hateful and harmful Pointing out the problem without offering a solution Isn't gonna come off as loving at all and you can't hear the truth if it sounds like hate And so we all need both we need truth and grace and my strategy, and I'm not good at this. I've gotten better I've learned through the years To one ask a lot of questions you get a whole lot more leverage out of a good question than you do out of 20 statements But I've also this is kind of new. This is probably the last five or six years of my life I've decided except for extreme circumstances mainly relating to dog training. I don't give advice I don't give people advice like it's just came back to me in the butt too many times like if I give you a really good piece of advice and then you don't do it and then we both realize later if you Just don't what I said That just causes problems between me and them. It's not a good deal Then if I do tell them and they do do it and it doesn't work out then it's my fault, right? And I'm not saying I've never given advice I say I try not to now because there's a different angle Because if in a relationship we can get to a point in a conversation and you tell me that you feel like God is telling you that You need to do this and I agree Now we have something to talk about I Mean if you tell me hey, I really feel like God is telling me to do this this and this in my marriage And I pray with you and we talk and I say, you know what? I think that's right. I think you should do that And then we circle back around a month later and you haven't done any of those things It's not about whether you took my advice. You didn't do what you said God told you to do. All right, we got to talk about that An accountability at the right angle is it's so important And we can't judge people's motives only God can do that we can assess people's behavior But only through a relationship if you're not gonna put in the effort to get to know that person and to let that person get to know you It's not gonna work. It's not gonna work a hundred percent truth a hundred percent grace full measure of both all you have of each every time and You got to remember we don't want to just encourage people to change their behavior behavior modifications all good and great If you can pull it off sometimes maybe But morality does not equal salvation and a lot of times we spend a lot of time picking fruit instead of pulling roots and if you just change behavior instead of pointing them to Jesus and allowing him to change them Then one of two things is gonna happen. If they can change their behavior. It's gonna lead to pride and self-righteousness Those are the Sadducees and the Pharisees. They don't need God. They can do it all by themselves and we all know nobody likes those people right, so don't be one of them pride is sin doesn't make you more like Christ, but If they can't which most of the time they can't if they can't change their behavior, it leads to despair and doubt They think man God could never love me. I'm screw up. I can't change what I want to change I don't even want to do this anymore and I can't stop doing it and that doesn't draw people closer to God and So we must direct people to seek serve and model Jesus Christ It's okay to encourage change behavior. Just recognize that it's a secondary issue. It's like training dogs I know I talk about it all the time But when you do it you just see God speaking to you all the time and when if you're gonna train a good hunting dog He's got to know how to do a whole lot of different things and you can spend a lot of time making sure your dogs really good at sitting But if all it knows to do is sit still in the blind and it doesn't know how to go get the duck It's not gonna be a fun dog to hunt with it's got to know how to do a whole bunch of different things because we've got a Ultimate goal in mind and the same thing is here. We have an ultimate goal in mind We want a better relationship with Jesus and through that relationship Stuff's gonna have to change he will work on the individual things He will show us man. You're gonna have to back out of this and get this lined out so that we can continue to push towards this goal of a better relationship with him because when we pursue that goal things are gonna change and You know the knife sharpening thing it's pretty good analogy and Like I said different knives have different angles and I have friends that know I'm obsessed with pocket knives So my buddy Danny Brown gave me this one and it's a sure enough real pocket knife Like if you were only gonna have one weapon to defend your family I don't know if I'd pick this, but I mean like if you need a knife it'll cut some stuff and The thing is like the angle on this one is gonna be different than the angle on that Benchmade pocket knife and one thing I know about Getting good like I said you there's lots of cheese to get in sharp knife But if you want to learn how to do it on a wet stone the only way you can get good at it is doing it You can't practice sharpening knives. You just sharpen knives. There's not something you can practice You just got to start doing it And I think the exact same thing is true about accountability The only way you can learn to have these conversations where both parties are getting better and looking more like Jesus is If you have those conversations You've got to have them all the time and as a church And this is one of the benefits of being part of the local church is that we are doing everything we can to facilitate Those conversations within this church that whole squirrel camp event is about us earning the right in these young men's lives To hold them accountable in a relationship with them at the right angle with a lot of truth and a lot of grace But we have to earn that right we have to come in and do it and that event gives us an opportunity And so you get to jump in and here's the thing I've been working with 17 18 year old 19 year old kids Since I was 17 18 19 years old. That's my favorite age group. I love I love the energy I love the go get it, you know, I love that I love that But the most important 17 18 and 19 year olds I'm ever gonna raise are my two sons and I got a 12 year old and a 10 year old and The fact is I'm not really intimidated by all of those conversations that I know I'm gonna have with my sons because I've already been practicing on a whole bunch of other people's sons for the last 25 years and So I know what my sons are up against because I am continually trying to disciple guys in a stage of life ahead of them I'm comfortable having those conversations when we talk about the five marks a man and talk about how a man provides and a man Protects and a man picks the minority position all of those things I know that's what a young man is struggling with and I am so equipped and ready to have those conversations with my son because I've practiced on everybody else's and you get to do that too and In our events and our women's lock-ins at the mens We're we're creating opportunities for you to learn how to have those conversations and ask hard questions and cry a little bit deeper And do it in a relationship and do it with truth and do it with love and grace And that's important. It's a big thing. The only way you get good at this is doing this. That's it And like I said, if you're dull, this is terrifying terrifying It's grinding sparks flying everywhere. You gotta wear a mask. So nothing goes in your eyes, you know like this. That sounds like a fun thing But I want to tell you guys right now. I'm running in a drawer full of really sharp knives and When you when you're not sharp it doesn't take much to keep it sharp And when you're surrounded by men who are in constant communication and in constant relationship And we know what's going on with each other's lives Man, we can keep each other so sharp because we know the right questions and we know what we're struggling with and man I if you're scared of this, I just want to tell you there is so much freedom in running in a drawer full of sharp knives I mean, it's just the coolest thing ever. I wish everybody had the kind of group of friends that I have it is an amazing thing But it's only possible to accountability and accountability has to be done in relationship with truth and grace and Then lastly, we need to know that through all of this we we do what we can But Jesus is our solution and perfect example the power comes in and through him He modeled a perfect life and then laid it down. We are ultimately accountable to God. He is our creator He is the ultimate judge But in his love and mercy he sent his son Jesus so that we could have a relationship with him And then he gave us the truth through his word and he shows us grace through what Jesus did on the cross and by enabling us giving us the Holy Spirit to fill us up to live this out and God wants to change you completely and he wants to use other people to help you But that's only half of it. God also wants to use you to help other people and I don't want you to lose side of that It is not love to withhold truth or grace and I'm thankful that Jesus did not withhold either from us Let me pray for us Lord, I thank you for this verse and Proverbs that has been really a great inspiration to my life. I am thankful for my drawer of sharp knives I'm thankful for the men in my life that have found the right angle for accountability and that they know that Iron sharpens iron, but you got to be careful with that We can be damaging with our words So where I just pray for anybody in this room that hasn't experienced that they don't know the freedom that comes through accountability I pray you would just show them a path show them the next step and if they don't know your son I pray that they would look to him today. God. I just pray you would reveal yourself to them in a way that is Undeniable and unrefusable and I pray as a church. We can be the kind of people that practice doing this We're good at holding each other accountable because we do it all the time Well, we thank you again for the cross for your son Jesus and all that means for us We ask all this in his name, amen. [BLANK_AUDIO]