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Let It Shine with Angie Elkins

33. Asking Good Questions - His Glory, Her Good

Send us a textIt may feel minor, but becoming a good question asker can transform the way you lead in any space! When you are intentional with what questions you ask and how you ask them, you are creating a safe space for authenticity and vulnerability to cultivate. Enjoy this episode highlighting one of our Lifeway Podcast Network shows, His Glory, Her Good.SHOW LINKS:Connect with AngieListen to more His Glory, Her GoodFollower Bible Study for Students

Duration:
33m
Broadcast on:
16 Jul 2024
Audio Format:
mp3

Send us a text

It may feel minor, but becoming a good question asker can transform the way you lead in any space! When you are intentional with what questions you ask and how you ask them, you are creating a safe space for authenticity and vulnerability to cultivate.

Enjoy this episode highlighting one of our Lifeway Podcast Network shows, His Glory, Her Good.

SHOW LINKS:
Connect with Angie
Listen to more His Glory, Her Good
Follower Bible Study for Students

- Hey friends, before we jump into this episode of Let It Shine, I need you to know that I need your help. If you click the link in the show notes, you will find a listener survey for Let It Shine that will enter you to win a summer essentials giveaway. So before I tell you what the giveaway is, I want you to know that this survey is all about you. I just wanna hear, what do you want? What do you need? What would make Let It Shine more listenable? What would make it more shareable? I wanna hear from you, all of the things. Now, if you fill out the survey and you follow me on Instagram, you will be entered to win this amazing summer essentials giveaway. First of all, the brand new, released on July 1st, Jen Welkin Bible Study Revelation. You'll also be entered to win a 24 ounce corksicle cold cup. My very favorite lipstick from Clinique called Black Honey, it is an almost lipstick. Really share, it adapts to everyone's skin color. You know what you love it. It's TikTok viral, Clinique, Black Honey, almost lipstick. Have you heard of Lumi all over body deodorant? If you haven't heard of it, you are missing out. It is a favorite and it's part of the summer essentials giveaway. And don't forget the very best belt bag of all time, the Lulu Lemon belt bag. Enter to win this summer essentials giveaway and you could win all of these things. All you've got to do is fill out that listener survey in the show notes. Okay guys, here's your episode of Let It Shine. (upbeat music) ♪ Just a little bit of mine ♪ ♪ I'm gonna let it shine ♪ ♪ Let it shine ♪ ♪ Let it shine ♪ ♪ Let it shine ♪ Hey friends, happy summer and welcome back to Let It Shine. I have got a great episode for you today. So if you've been joining me all summer, you know that I'm introducing you to my friends. You've met Amanda and Corinne earlier than the summer. They are the hosts at Lifeway of the His Glory Her Good podcast. And today I'm sharing with you an episode of theirs called asking good questions. Guys, it's one of the best life skills that we can have is ask good questions. And what I've found is it endears me to people. It helps me create friends. It helps me remember what's going on in people's lives. So asking good questions. Now, this podcast, His Glory Her Good, is all about women serving in student ministry. So you may not be a woman serving in student ministry. You may be though. You may be someone who's on staff. You could also be a volunteer. Maybe you're going to camp this summer and you are serving as a counselor at your church's student camp. I'm not sure what's going on with you, but I'm gonna tell you, you would love this podcast, His Glory Her Good. We're gonna link to it in the show notes so that you can find it. You can subscribe and not miss a single episode. But I want you to know that today's episode on asking good questions is not just for women serving in student ministry. It's for all of us. So here are my friends, Amanda and Corinne from the His Glory Her Good podcast, asking good questions. (upbeat music) Welcome to the His Glory Her Good podcast, a podcast for women in student ministry. We're your hosts, Amanda and Corinne. We're here, not as experts, but to walk alongside you through the beautiful, messy, hard, but always holy parts of ministry. So with our eyes on Jesus, let's walk together and keep going for Her Good, but ultimately for His Glory. (upbeat music) (upbeat music) All right, in season three, we are here and back and I'm so ready. - We do. - Are you ready? - I'm so excited, we're back. - I know and I'm very excited about this episode. We've been talking about it a while and I will say, I feel like Corinne is almost the inspiration of this episode. I have learned a lot about this, but really we're talking today about asking good questions and Corinne is an amazing question-asker, but it's not in the sense of like, oh, cool, she can like shoot the breeze, like whatever, or as I like to say, kick the wind. I don't know why I said that, but it's shooting the breeze. I'm just like, you feel like you're just like talking about the weather or whatever, like how's your day going? It's like good and it's just like ants. That is just never the case with you, Corinne. Like where did you learn to like have intentional, meaningful conversations with people? - Well, I don't deserve those kind words, but I do appreciate it. I think some of it maybe is like just literally how I'm wired because I don't like small talk and so I don't know if some of that's just out of like an interest of, I do care about people and also I don't wanna talk about what it, the weather's like outside and I just don't think that that's something I feel comfortable talking about. But I think in all seriousness, I remember even like as a kid, I would ask my mom why all the time, even when she would tell me to go do something and be like, why? - Oh man. - And so. - I'm in that pace. - My mom changed the rule and I do appreciate it 'cause she did recognize that I just was like genuinely curious. Like I was really a rule follower, so I wasn't asking why because I didn't wanna do it. I just wanted to understand. So we then had to have a rule where it was, I could say yes ma'am, but why? Or yes ma'am, okay, and why? - And so I do appreciate that that we kind of joke that that goes back to like little Corinne was always just wanting to know like, huh, why? Why do we do it this way or why do I have to go do this right now? So we had to learn to be obedient first and then go ask why. - Blakely is very much in this phase of asking questions all day, every day. I'll never like forget recently, I was on a trip and I came back and Brandon and the kids picked me from the airport and Blakely is like immediately asking me questions and he looks over at me. He goes, she hasn't stopped like you left. I was like, welcome to my everyday. - And, but there's like this curiosity and there's things that she is trying to like understand and it matters and, you know, it's kind of hard sometimes because you're like, I don't know, there's an answer actually good enough for you. But I think there's just this beauty of connection that I think really is what she's longing for. And I think we all long for is that I don't wanna just like talk to you just to talk to you. I wanna connect with you. I wanna have a, you know, a meaningful relationship with you. - Exactly. - And I learned, I guess, questions and good conversations through my time working on staff, a centricate camp. We're hanging out with third through sixth graders for an entire summer. You get new students every week. So it's almost like starting over relationships every Monday and you know by Friday they're gone. I'll likely never see them again. So I have this short amount of time to be as intentional as possible. So how on earth can I be intentional with this fourth grade girl who all she wants to do is talk about her cat? And I really am like, I just wanna know if you know Jesus and like, can I share the gospel with you? So how do I ask questions in such a way to take it? Like you from what's the color of your cat, right? When do they die last? I'd like, you know, and let me tell you the gospel. And leading them in this fun, like thoughtful conversation of like questions don't have to be meaningless. They can matter. They can make somebody feel very seen and valued, which I really love. And how have you seen it work with students? - Yeah, I think. So that's probably where I really started falling in love with like being a good question asker was the connection I was getting with people, both as a student, but then getting to lead my own discipleship groups and getting to know girls. I think one of the things with students specifically is in this age group, their brains are really concrete in their thinking. They're not super abstract thinkers. And what I mean by that is like, I think sometimes we can get frustrated 'cause you're like, hey, how are you? And they're like, fine, but you're not fine. Like, how are you really? But like genuinely, like with their concrete brains, like they're fine. That's really all they can think of right now. That's all they probably have capacity after like a long school day. And I think learning to ask questions that maybe get at the same point I was trying to get at when I said, how are you? But instead I've tried to ask questions that either relate to things they care about or have just given them time to talk and just space to just say things. And I think with students specifically, it's just fun to like create spaces where you are the most important person like right now in the sense that you have my undivided attention and I'm not really listening to you so I can like check off the box of like, okay, thanks for sharing, now I'm leaving. But like genuinely, like you are who I'm supposed to talk to you right now. And so I want you to actually feel like I want to talk to you because I do. And I think so much of that is not just like asking questions to be like, okay, cool. And next question, next question, next question. Like you're just going through note cards of like, okay, now what do I ask next? But instead being like, okay, how can I actually navigate this conversation in a way that it doesn't have an agenda, but it has a purpose. - Yeah, yeah, I think sometimes people may hear that and be like, oh, that's just manipulative. You're just trying to like manipulate them into like opening up. - Definitely not that. - No, like we want people to feel cared for and valued and loved. I mean, I want someone to ask me like how I'm doing and how my kids are and what's work like these days. Like those are meaningful questions and it helps somebody feel valued and often we can communicate way better when we kind of know what's going on in their world. And I think a lot of my question asking has come from teaching the Bible in small group settings because man, you can ask really bad questions on a Bible study study. And part of my job as like, as I've worked with our Bible studies and editing and have had to grow in is ask like, what questions are we asking? So learning how to not just ask a yes or no question. - Right. - Because it will, they will say yes or no and then there will be. - And that's what you ask to be fair. That is what you-- - And they will not elaborate. So you have to make sure that you're like creating questions where there has to be a response given. It has to be a deeper response than like a one word answer. And so I feel like my job has kind of forced me into thinking how can we be intentional question askers. - That's cool. - It's been, it's been really fun. And so what are some questions that you feel like have been really good and helpful in a setting with students specifically? Like, do you have a fun question that you ask students? - Yes, I do. Sometimes they love it, sometimes they hate it. But I make them do it anyways. No, in all seriousness, I do think it is a fine line of trying to not ask like weird questions that make someone feel uncomfortable but at the same time I get creative and if, and get them thinking about things. So one of my favorite questions is just like, hey, if you're weak or life right now was a color. Like what color would it be? - I hate when you ask that question. - I know. - 'Cause I never know. - I kind of hate it too 'cause I don't always have any answer but I love listening to people. - Students are wild with their responses. - They're so good at it. - I know. - And I think some of that's like actually how the Lord has like allowed their brains to work. But it's so funny 'cause it's like in the same Bible study two girls could say yellow, one girl loves the color yellow and the other girl literally is repulsed by that color. And so I just got more information on like, this girl's having a great week and this girl not so much. Or if they say like, I've loved one girl's like, it's like a sunset right now. There's good parts of it. But also a sunset means that things are like, things are ending. And I'm like, oh wow, that's like actually really deep. And so it wasn't that they didn't know how their week was. I just asked the poor question of, how's your week been? And they're like, good. - Yeah. - Okay, if your week was a color, like what would it be? If your week was, I don't know, if your girls are into like comics or superheroes, it is a Marvel movie. Like what was your week? If your week was an ice cream flavor. Like there's so many variations of that that I think if you can get them to like think on an object, like that helps their brains. But I think also a lot of times it's not that they are withholding information. It's just that we're not asking the question that's actually getting to the information or allowing them to think and give space to respond. 'Cause honestly, as silly as the color one is, we get done. I'm like, oh wait, all of you actually really opened up. And I don't think you would have said the same thing if I would have said, like everyone go around and tell me about your week. - Totally. So if you see that question in any life where girls' Bible study, you know that it's contributed. Because I learned it from Corinne and felt that it was really positive. Because we did that girls' Bible study last year within my fields with our high school girls. And it was like chaos of girls would come in. They're all like, you know, coming from different things and it's loud. And you ask the question of like what color, you know, what it would be. And we go through the circle of girls and they're all sharing. And all of a sudden, the atmospheres change with one simple question. And their hearts are all of a sudden, they're learning about what other people are struggling within their week or how they feel. A lot of times I think girls think that like everyone's doing great and they're the only ones struggling. And it just became this like not overly vulnerable. Like it's not like they're sharing their deepest dark and secret or anything like that. But it changed the whole atmosphere of the Bible study. And there's so many questions that you could ask in that. It doesn't have to be the color question. But that's the goal is to help girls get into a place where they're willing to have the deeper conversations or their more honest conversations. And I've just really loved it. I've also learned that sometimes you just have to be fun. My favorite question is if you could be any kind of, or if you could only eat one, I said if you could only be a potato. If you could only eat one form of potatoes, the rest of your life will have it to be. And let me tell you, girls are passionate about their potatoes. It's controversial. They're like, I would like to be a waffle fry or my personal favorite is, I would like to be a truffle Parmesan french fry or hash brown casserole. Like those people are very different. Like you're hash brown casserole people or you're like plain baked potato people. Right. And stirs up some of them. It is just fun. And like girls like they need to have fun. And so there's like, like again, those questions aren't like any kind of agenda, but all of a sudden these girls who may be quiet or not listening in Bible study very well, they're willing to engage about that kind of content really quickly. And it just breaks down some guards. It's about. And I think too with that is you're kind of creating like a buy-in. So if you're going around in a circle and the expectation is like everyone has to answer. I would not suggest that everyone has to answer like, everyone's going around right now and telling like the deepest thing they're struggling with. That's not really a fair thing to force people to answer. But you can say like at some point in the group time, like everyone's going to have a voice and have a place to like share. And so for some, like especially if you're getting to know this group, like the form of potato is exactly where yes, you just broke down walls, but also every girl has now spoken. And it's a lot easier to get over the hump of like speaking again than like, oh, I've got to speak up for the first time. So I also love ice breakers, not just for asking a silly question, but with the intention of by the end of this like round, everyone will have already spoken. So we've already like gotten out of the way. Everyone has contributed. Everyone has had a place in this group. And some will have more times that they speak up and others won't, but all of them have had a chance to like speak and we're all listening to them. - Yeah, I think it's really good. So for somebody who's like, I'm really bad at asking questions or maybe you're saying, I lead a small group and just falling a little flat. Honestly, like the first place I would say is like, let's start with becoming a better question-asker to help get the conversation going. Is there anything that you would give advice? I think we've talked about a few ideas so we can bring those back. But what would you tell someone who's like, I would really like to be a better question-asker? - Yeah, and I love that. And I think one of the things would say is sometimes we ask questions that we don't really know we're asking, so we just kind of start talking. And I do this a lot. I get a lot of faces where they're like, I'm sorry, what was the question? - Oh, like girls are like, can you repeat that? - I'm like, I'm so sorry. - I think I asked you six questions and that like a few sentences. But I think what we were saying, like stay away from yes or no questions would be a huge one. I think also like an essay form question where you're like, explain, get them talking about like, okay, how do you feel about God? Or where would you say you're at with God right now? Are you, and maybe you need to give options. So would you say you're someone that's like in a really good spot with your relationship with God? Are you even in a relationship with God? You're still trying to figure it out. And maybe you're not saying like, are you lost or are you saved? But you're just like, hey, where are you at with God? If you were giving the non-church answer, are you kind of trying to figure it out? Are you having some doubts? Are you feeling in a really great place? But I think staying away from yes or no questions. And then I would say maybe sometimes it's not actually that you're asking bad questions but you're moving on too quickly. Silence in a group. I mean, it's like five seconds of silence and we've convinced ourselves that we've been sitting there for two minutes. We're like, okay, this isn't working. Like let's jump ship and just like, okay girls, like what are, what's your prom dress look like? We're like, we will do anything now to like move on so that we can just hear someone speak. - Usually when I have silence, I usually will give it a few, you know, a good 10 seconds and say do I need to ask the question in a different way or do you want more time? - That's so good. - And so asking them and then putting their cords oftentimes they're like, can you say that again? Or was it not listening or? - Yes. - It just helps put the ball back in their core. So it's not that you ask a bad question. It's just like they need more time to process and maybe they just need to listen a little better. - Yeah. And I think too like with that learning that it's okay to look at the group and be like, hey, I'm really not scared of silence which you're kind of internally like, I am, but I'm gonna not be like, I'm not intimidated by silence because here's what happens in silence. You start thinking and people start actually like pondering the question instead of waiting for someone to answer. So even sometimes if you're like, I have some that jump in literally every time without thinking, like it's even okay to be like, hey, for the next minute I'm gonna literally set a timer and I want you to think about your answer to this question. And then we're all gonna sit inside. That's for a minute. And so then everyone's had a chance to actually think about it. It kind of removes from the students that are always quick to jump and you're like, did you even listen to what I asked? But then also maybe sometimes going, hey, everyone's gonna answer this at some point, doesn't have to go in order. So let's just take a minute and think about it. And then everyone's gonna share. That way you're kind of know or it's like, hey, five of you are gonna answer at least five of you and letting them kind of know that we're okay with silence here because that means we're thinking. And I think to not obviously, but at the same time, I'm so thankful that like we serve a God who is a really good question-asker and all throughout the old and new Testament we see like Jesus incarnated and then also God himself asking people questions. And it was never because he didn't know the answer. Now it's different for us 'cause we actually don't know the answer, but I think at the same time, like for Jesus to look and say, but who do you say that I am? Was not 'cause he was like, huh, I wonder what's in their hearts about me. I knew, but there's so much power in asking a question that helps someone see for themselves like where they're actually at. God asking Adam and Eve, like where are you? Not 'cause God was like geographically guys, like I can't find you, like come on out. But like genuine, like do you realize like where you are? And I think too, just thinking about the life of Jesus so many of his interactions involved a question. And so maybe we can literally ask those questions, but I think model the same. We don't have to go straight to, hey guys, for our opening question, if you were to die tonight, like are you going to heaven? Like, okay, wow. But also like don't underestimate the power of even like, we sometimes jokingly do like a blind vote where it's like everyone like close your eyes and like raise your hand and answer questions where you're not even like having to respond yes or no, but you're just like raising your hand, you're participating anything that can encourage engagement participation. But then if you're like with girls, I think kind of knowing some go-to questions before and you probably, I hope, have someone in your life that makes you feel really seen and heard. And I would ask them like, what are some of their go-to questions? And it's okay to have a notes page and like a list of like things that you can refer back to. And it's okay to like need practice in this area, I do. - Yeah, there's going to be two things. One is you can have a book of questions that if you someone asks you a really good question, write it down and I've even heard from another girl, she said that when she goes out to dinner with friends, sometimes she'll just like pull out her question book and be like, okay everyone pick a number. And based on the number they pick, they pick the question out of the book to ask the cable. So that's a great way to practice. The other way I would say is if you feel like a Bible study time fell flat or a conversation with a girl fell flat, I was like self-reflect on what did I ask? Was it clear? Like if you were to ask yourself that question in the same way, would it make sense to you? And if it did, if it makes sense to you and didn't make sense to her, like I would kind of reflect on like, how could I have asked that differently? Or maybe in a, was it my body posture? Sometimes we ask a question, it can feel very like intense. I think a lot of times girls feel like I don't, I feel dumb to answer that question. Like I'm going to say the wrong thing. So I'm just not going to say anything at all. So do they feel safe when I ask that question? So some self-reflection is really important and to kind of evaluate where we are. And our question asking skill, that's something we all have room to grow in. I don't think you don't arrive at being the best. - Right. - That's proficient. - And it's okay to ask for feedback. I mean in safe ways, but it's okay to ask because there are things that we could improve on and it's gonna be okay if people have things that they would do differently like, but we'd rather know so that we can like grow from it. And I was even thinking maybe to go a little deeper, like the importance of question asking, yes, for making people feel seen, loved, safe. But then I would say even for like counseling conversations of decision counseling. So if you're about to like go to camp or an event where I think sometimes the church has lacked in asking questions and allowing students to guide the conversation on what God's doing in their lives and we've met well, but we've kind of spoken for them. It's kind of like this is what salvation is repeat after me. Like here's this prayer. Instead, I would encourage like asking good questions also needs to carry over into like when a student comes back and it's really easy to be like, oh my gosh, the invitation we just gave with salvation, they are safe. Now like I'm so excited and like we should be excited that God's moving, but I would say also, God has done a lot in my life to be like, hey, Karen, regardless of what the student is doing, like God is clearly at work in the student's life. Now what he's doing? I need to like ask good questions. And so I just remember like there have been times I'm like, okay, so tell me, why did you come back here? Tell me a little more, what is God doing in your life right now? I've literally had somebody like, I have no idea. And that's okay. But it wouldn't have been okay if I would have been assuming like, hey, oh my gosh, I'm so glad you're back here. - You're back here, here's the card, please. - Let's just fill out this card. I'm so excited. Would you like to schedule your baptism? - Yeah. - But I think also then to the flip side, there are times where they do know exactly why they stood up, but there's so much beauty in it being their own words that it's like, hey, why are you back here? And it's like, hey, I don't know the word and I've been running away from him. And I actually am back for the first time in a really long time. And I know that today's the day that I need to get my life toward. And I think as much as we can ask questions, one, you're gonna be setting them up for success of like they have learned to own their faith because it was their own words. And yes, we can guide them in teaching them like, yes, how to pray, but also like even when it comes to like giving our lives to God, there's one thing to like guide them through a prayer and another thing to say, hey, nothing magic about this prayer. Here's the elements that it has to include. Like it has to be some like turning from your sin and like acknowledging that you need God and some like committing your life, like giving your life to Jesus. And then I'd love for you to pray out loud. And I know that's really scary, but here's why. 10 years from now, if I just prayed over you and you're like, yeah, amen. There's a really good chance that you could question if that moment was real for you. And actually, if you'll take this moment, one, you're owning the moment and you know that it was your own words, but also it helps me that if you pray something and it's not actually like accurate, like it helps me know if there's still like things that we can answer. And so there have just been times that even that method has actually brought some of like my favorite moments in ministry of hearing girls in ways that I wouldn't have put it into words, them tell God how much they need him and what they're turning from. And even like surprising me with listing out the specific sins that they're turning from and that they're so excited to live for him. And that's just something that I would have missed if I was trying to like get them through the process, that I'm so glad I got to hear it from their own perspective. - I mean, I imagine a girl coming back, you're finally getting talking and you say, do you wanna be saved? And she's like, yes. Okay, do you want me to pray for you? - Yes. - Like, you know, like those kind of questions we like, we're like, yeah, she wants to get saved, but it's like, does she know what being saved means or why she needs to be saved or has she been saved before? You know, like there are so many more questions that we have to ask and that's why it's so important. Those yes or no questions can be helpful if you have a girl who's really hard to talk and you're just like, I mean to get something out of her. So not totally disregarding the yes or no questions, but there needs to be a lot of them in order to figure out clarity. Like that's what the goal is to find clarity so you know how to lead and direct them from there. I think is such a win. - Yeah. - But thank you for bringing that. That was-- - Definitely really good. - It's just something we're working on in our team and even just my own life of I want to be someone that's excited for students making decisions, but I also don't wanna miss that it might be something different and so I never wanna step in and speak too far on their behalf. And also don't get discouraged if through the conversation you realize they're not ready today. I think that's actually beautiful that there was clarity that God was kind enough to bring clarity to a situation and open a door now for either you or someone else to walk along side the student and I think that's really beautiful. - Yeah. Okay, looking back at your 15 year old self, what question do you wish someone would have asked you? - Oh man. Okay, so I have a specific story with this because I was actually talking with, I guess 15, 16, but I was talking with a mom who serves with us and we were just talking about her daughters in junior year. I was remembering my junior year, I was like, whoa, that year was rough. And I remember like genuinely, there was a point in junior year that I finally had this like kind of come apart moment and I realized like, I'm not actually okay. Like I've just been saying, I'm fine, I'm fine, I'm fine, I'm fine and I remember journaling like, I keep saying and telling people that I'm okay, but I think I'm actually drowning on the inside, really dark, you know, but I was telling her that and she asked me, she was like, okay, but what would you like, have wished someone would have been asking you? Like what would have helped? Like you realize that? And that was, I mean, example of such a good question even for myself now to like reflect and go, wow, thank you for asking me that because through reflecting, I realized that everyone really meant well, but they were just like, how's it going? I'm like, good. And I wasn't lying. I like, I didn't have this long answer in the back of my head, but I genuinely at that time did not have the tools to like fully recognize. And so I wish someone instead of just being like, how are you doing, trying to make sure I'm okay, which I'm good at being like, I'm okay. Like I'm not dying, I'm okay. But if someone would have asked me like, hey, how are you feeling about this? Like you're taking two math classes and other honors classes right now, that seems really difficult. Are you feeling okay about that? Or like what are you feeling about school? Or hey, I noticed that all your friends went to this thing without you and you chose to stay home. How did that make you feel? And I think if I would have started as a teenager, learning better how to assess in my own body and heart, like what I was feeling, I bet I would have been able to identify sooner. Like I'm not doing super great because I was giving the honest answer of I'm fine. Like in the grand scheme of things, I'm fine. But if someone would have asked me, I think I would have been able to say, I'm feeling extremely overwhelmed. And like I'm going to fail everything in school and then I'm going to disappoint my parents or disappoint my friends. And I'm truly feeling really overwhelmed and really stressed, really sad that my friends are making different decisions to me. Well, gosh, that would have been really helpful to like recognize early on. - Right now, Blakely is like I said, is in that question asking phase, but she's also in like fashion phase, which is very different. I was never like a girly girl or like cared what my hair looked like. But she is so desperate for me and Brandon to like approve her and like call her beautiful. And so as five years old, she comes out and she's like, do you like my outfit? Do you think I look pretty? Do you think I look beautiful? And I'm like, yes, like of course you do. But she keeps asking it. And the only way that I'm able to like satisfy her is if I say, do you feel beautiful? And looking back to like when I was in high school, I am, I still struggle with like wanting people's affection and affirmation so bad. So I achieve and I, you know, people please her and I do whatever. And so I got the public affirmation, but I wish someone is that like, do you believe you're loved? Like do you believe your value? Do you believe you're beautiful? Cause I was searching for it from everyone else. And yet I still longed for it and lacked it in my own, like cause it wasn't enough. And it's because like I wasn't turning to God and like looking for my affirmation from him. But that's the question that I wish someone to ask me. It's like, do you believe you have value? Like do you believe like you're loved? And so yeah, like this is such a heavy question. But man, that's really why we talked about this. Like questions matter. And we hope that you are encouraged to ask better questions to always be learning on how we can love our girls better in this way. And hopefully someone today is asking you really good questions. If not, go find somebody and ask them a good question. And hopefully start up a good conversation. So thanks for listening. Hey friends, for today's resource highlight, I wanted to tell you about life way students. Study follower, beginning your walk with Jesus. I love that even in the description, it starts with a question, what does it mean to follow Jesus? And so in today's conversation, we're talking a little about the power of actually asking good questions and letting students speak for themselves about what God's doing in their life. And this study actually gets to address some of the things that say, okay, you've made this decision, but maybe you're wondering what does it actually look like now for the rest of my life to walk out what it means to follow Jesus. And so in trying to ask good questions, this is a great study to walk alongside your students, maybe even in camp season, pick up some coffees for your new believers and do a new believers class with some families. And I would just encourage you to check this out today. His glory here good is production of the Life Way Podcast Network. We're your hosts, Garin Allen and Amanda Mejias. We are so grateful that you joined us and we'll see you next time. (upbeat music) Let It Shine is a production of the Life Way Podcast, executive produced by me, Angie Elkins, produced by Nicki Ogden. It's recorded at the Life Way Podcast Studios and engineered by Donnie Gordon, edited by Robert Elkins. An original theme song arranged by Robert Elkins, the Maestro himself, performed by Tiffany Casey Abbey-Piers, Ryan Walker, Jarian Felton, and Shawna Felton, art by Grace Morgan, and I'm your host, Angie Elkins, meet me back here next week. ♪ This is the life of mine, I'm gonna let it shine ♪ ♪ This is the life of mine, I'm gonna let it shine ♪ ♪ This is the life of mine, I'm gonna let it shine ♪ ♪ Let it shine, let it shine, let it shine ♪ [BLANK_AUDIO]