[ Music ] >> Hey guys, welcome back to "The Bros." We're in the back of the sanctuary. We're at a conversation that happens. We're host Jose, Bill, and John, and we are in the room today. >> Yes, sir. We are back in the room. Didn't like what I just said, but I'm in the room with it. It was perfect. >> Yeah, it was good. Hey, you know, just for heads up, John does have hiccups. So if you do hear some hiccups, please just bear with us. >> Bear with us. >> Just make fun of me in the comments. >> Oh, they will. Yeah, we had a terrific episode. We actually have been kind of doing a couple recording sessions, like back-to-back. We did one yesterday, went very well. >> Yeah. >> Probably just come out. I don't know when we're going to do this, but whatever happens. >> That one should come out last week, and then this one. >> Yeah, right. >> Right. So I'm excited. >> According to radio time, how podcast time works. >> Yeah. >> You know. >> It's like dog ears. >> Yeah, yeah. >> It's got a delay on it. >> Huge delay. >> It's huge. >> It's huge. >> Sorry. Yeah, we have had a good time. I'm wearing my South Florida Holyness Youth Campus shirt. >> I'm wearing a praise and a letter on the temples. >> I'm wearing a basic shirt. >> I'm wearing a basic shirt. >> He's basic. >> The basic model there, the OG. And I'm wearing this shirt because we're going to be discussing some of our experiences that have really come to a head on this last South Florida Holyness Youth camp. >> Yeah, yeah. >> 2024, the 30th anniversary. >> Of course. >> And there's been the end of the journey 14 years in the making. >> Yep. >> New beginning forever in the future to, you know, who knows how long it's going to last. >> I'll be forever. >> Yeah. >> We hope. But it's been an amazing journey. And so we wanted to kind of talk about our experiences because when we recorded the episode at youth camp, it was at the beginning of the week. >> Yeah. It was Monday afternoon. >> Monday. >> We had just got there. Just did orientation. >> Yep. >> Got the kids into their, into their dormitory. >> Dormitory. >> Yeah, doors. >> And then we had just did a little podcast. Interview and got ready for church at the words. >> Absolutely. >> So it was literally right before we got in church. >> Yeah, it was crazy. So we got in. >> Before anything happened. >> And then we didn't know how the week would go. So, you know, it was, it was good for scheduling, obviously, because it was easy for all of us. But definitely was a little bit different when it came to like, um, just, just, we weren't sure if, if the Lord would move, if what would happen, we were kind of praying to see what happened to the church. And, and every youth camp that I feel like the Lord moves on Thursdays and Fridays, I mean, nonstop all the time. >> Yeah. >> And that's, that's normally what usually happens on youth camp. >> It's true. >> Well, people, and I'm, I'm not saying that it's a bad thing at all, but a lot of times, the campers know it too. They know that Thursday and Friday nights are usually the nights that are really, really deep. >> Correct. >> Also, what gets the, the, the atmosphere changed a little bit, because when they, when you anticipate something, you know, and you're praying about that something, you get it in the end, because the Lord hears your prayer, he hears your cry. >> Yeah. >> You know, and that's, that's important, I think, and to this, to this episode, I think that's important. >> It is. Also, I feel like at youth camp, a lot of people decided not to wait until Thursday and Friday, and they really decided to just go at it from the beginning. There you go. >> The beginning. >> Up. >> I'm sorry. >> Just bear with him. >> Yeah. Yeah, I feel like people really started to get moving, but again, it's, it's just, I watched a really cool video on, on rivers, which seems like it would not be a cool video at all. It seems like it would be boring, but it just was saying, like, if you have a little bit of dirt build up on one side of the river, if it's a perfectly straight, you know, then the water gets pushed over to one side. >> Yeah. >> And the water is pushed over to that side. Then when it turns, then it pushes the other side of the wall. So a straight river after a while turns it's really nice. >> Snakey and all of this stuff. And it's like, that's how it happens at youth camp, too, is everybody's wanting to go in one direction, perfectly straight, and not, you know, just kind of like, I don't know whether the Lord's going to lead me, but I'm just going this direction. >> Yeah. >> And then as time goes on, a little by little, the dirt and things are washed away on one side, and then the Lord can move in that direction, and then because He moved you in this direction, then when you, the next service, you go in, and He's moving you in this direction. >> Right. >> And then the dirt and sediment, i.e., all of the walls and barriers you've placed in your life have slowly started to wash down and you get to move in whatever direction He wants you to go. >> Right. >> But it takes time to get to that, which is why, you know, you have those, sometimes you break free on Monday, but it's sometimes difficult because you're really trying to figure out, you know, the way the services move, and there's always going to be a different service for, you know, what night was it, Tuesday, I think we didn't have any preaching? >> Yeah. Monday we had preaching, Tuesday we didn't have preaching. >> Right. So it was a totally different experience. If you wanted to just worship, that was a night to get in. >> Yeah. >> If you wanted to hear the preaching and go to the altar and really start praying and getting your life built up, it's just, that's what's amazing about the Lord is He gives you such a good, you know, blend of things that you can do, and He gives you that opportunity. And then in the middle that we had morning service, and that was amazing as well. And so you really get to work all the things out. >> Yeah. >> And by Thursday and Friday, everybody's really in the same mind when it comes to that kind of thing. So often that's why a lot of the services get done. Plus, there's more people. >> Yeah. >> There's simply a larger audience. >> I think the aspect or the original that you gave about the river is a really cool idea because a lot of times when you think about a river, you have three parts of the river, right? >> Yeah. >> You have what feeds it? You have the river itself, and you have the body that it goes into. >> Right. >> And I mean, think about this church youth camp where you have the feeding, where we all enter into youth camp. We're feeding into this river, this river is all week long, you know, Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Friday, and we're all shifting in this youth camp, having all this stuff going on, and the Lord is just moving, and he's moving here, he's moving there, he's broke the sediment there, and this person that was sitting in that corner, you know, when the Lord moved in that area, he broke free, and then you got all these people going and following the leading of the Lord, then you get into the body, you know, then we're in the body of the river where it becomes, where sometimes it's the ocean, where now we're all in one area, we're all pulled up in one spot, and we are all in one mind. I think that's also one of the most pretty cool illustration, analogy, yeah. This year also is a really big year for me, because I turned 33, and if everybody knows if you go to church, you know, and there's always an illustration, the pastor or preacher will always go and point to you and see how old were you to illustrate you, "Oh, you were 12 years old, oh, you were just a year of that, how old Jesus was when he was preaching in the temple," or, you know, you were 30 years old, 33 years old, you were just as old as Jesus was when he was persecuted and put on the cross, you know, you got all these different things where he's different points. No, I know that's a wonderful thing, but it is kind of funny to go between, he was preaching in the temple, "Oh, you're the same year Jesus was tortured and died," but this is a, but 33 was a big year for me, because even though I knew, I would get picked on for preaching sermons, you know, because I'm the same age as Jesus was, you know, I knew that Lord, I felt like the Lord was going to bless me this year, and because this year was, I felt that I've been praying about it, that praying that the Lord would use me mightily, and this youth camp when I got there, honestly this youth camp didn't, I didn't really go in with an expectation, this sounds kind of crazy, I did not go with an expectation to receive anything, to get any type of help, all I did was I went to a youth camp, now I prayed for help, I prayed for help to go into youth camp, but I did not expect anything from the Lord as far as a blessing, I did go to get youth camp to be there to work, to help the kids, to guide the kids, and to minister to them, and how I know to minister, and the Lord had different plans, honestly, I'm just glad that I'm willing to be this, to let my sediment go, I'm just glad that the Lord was able to move through me and use me in a mighty way, and I'll get through a testimony there a little bit, I mean I talked a little bit, I think I talked a little too long right there, but sometimes I get a little too uncomfortable with the talking, Bill gets really comfortable, Bill gets too comfortable, and then he just goes on and goes on, and I try to cut on a little bit so he can get a little break, but let's give John a little bit so he can talk about what he was going to get into the youth camp, I don't love talking, but I will attempt to talk a little bit, you said that you went into youth camp not, no expectations, no expectation of help, no, whereas I was nearly the exact opposite, I went into youth camp knowing that I was broken, and I needed to leave different than how I can't, right, exactly, and I noticed that, I really did, when I was up there praying for all the kids, and I saw you really praying down there, I really felt like you were looking for, looking for your help, I would say. It's been a little bit of a rough month for me, and it was mistakes on my own part that put me in the situation that I'm in, and I knew that without growth in God there would be no change, and I would just make the same mistakes again, I would just cost myself more because sin is fun for a little while, and that's it, that's it, a little while, I can't think of the verse right now, but it's a season, it doesn't say how long that season is, but it's just a season for everything, not as long as you would think, right. Sometimes we go through a season of hurt, sometimes we go through a season of emotional battles, we go through, and a season doesn't mean three months of the year, a season sometimes can be two, four, five, six years, sometimes a season can be that one week, but that season of your time is when it almost seems like, don't look at it as a season of like, he's one of the seasons of the year, but as a season of like, I talked to Brother Brandon Blevins, he's gonna, if he doesn't say this episode, he's gonna laugh when I say this, but season, like when you're in a season of time, think about it like a steak, right. So when you buy a steak, there's a steak that's just come from the meat market, and you want to eat this steak, you want this steak to be as good to you as you hoped it would be in the same exact way that you had it from a restaurant, a high-class quality restaurant that was given you a really nice steak. I prefer my steaks a certain way, you guys know medium-rare, we've said on the podcast before. It's meant to be, right, so, not a word though, and I want to make much of my steak is flavorful. So what I do, I season it, salt and pepper, I put seasoning on it, that season that I put on it, if I go and put that seasoned steak just right after I seasoned it into the hot steaming pan, this pan is hot, it's sizzling, it's a lot of things going on, that pan is representation of our, I'm getting distracted, sizzling pan, sizzling pan is a representation of the life that we're living in, there's times like say, I'm preaching, I don't know why I'm preaching, there's times in our life where we're going through something and that little thing, say, whatever hurt you're going through, is a seasoning in your life, right. That thing is going through, right, when you get to it, if it's so hot that seasoning on that steak is going to just come right off, so as soon as you come and take that steak out of that pan and you cut into it, it's just going to be an unflavored steak, because it didn't have time to marinate on that steak. Now if you take that same steak and you salt it, you put the seasoning on it, and you put it in the fridge and let it sit in that seasoning, the longer it sits in that seasoning, in that fridge, the more marination it's going to have in that steak, when you take that steak and you just put a little extra seasoning on there, just to add a little bit extra, put it in that hot, sizzling environment, and you let it sit there and you sear it and you get it cooking just right, then when you cut into it, it's flavored down into meat. Now a seasoning in my life could be that despair or the hurt that I'm having, God is preparing for something. Now if I go and I say if I don't let the hate or the hurt go through me, that trial that I'm going to face later will be just as hard, because I never let that seasoning marinate. So the seasoning that I think of, I don't think of it as the fourth season of the year, I think of it as seasoning on a steak or seasoning on your food, let it marinate a little bit, sometimes it has to marinate, it could be two years, it could be three years, it could be five years, it could be two months, you know. But that seasoning that we go through will help us create, create us to be the person that God wants us to be in our life, yeah, it's a, sorry, I preached that. No, no, go ahead, it was good, and I like that, just like the steak. Anyway, yeah, I'm sorry, I took it, I took your light of it, I didn't finish what you were saying, I'm sorry. Well the verse you were looking for by the way was Hebrews 11 and 24, by faith Moses when it was come to years, refused to be called the son of Pharaoh's daughter, choosing rather to suffer affliction with the people of God than to enjoy the pleasures of sin for a season, which I had in my head that it was like a specific verse that was like there is pleasure in sin for a season, but that's the only time that was mentioned, is just referring to Moses choosing rather than for his life, enjoy wealth and prosperity instead to suffer afflictions of slaves. Sure. I mean, think about it, like when Jesus was talking about how the new law, because he came to fulfill the law, you know, the law said that shall not commit adultery or commit for make fornication, you know, but Jesus said, he redefined the law, he said, if you even look upon a woman and lust after her, you've committed adultery in your mind, you know, you wouldn't think the law like that would be ambiguous, it seems to be straightforward, but, but that moment that you're thinking of those lustful thoughts, it might be feeling good at the moment, but imagine if the Lord were to come right then and there, what type of pain would be going through to know that that was a sin that you weren't forgiven of and to be in torment for the rest of your eternity. Because just because for a moment, yeah, might be good, but for the eternity for a punishment, I would rather, I'd rather, you know, get on the right side of God. It's just because something feels good, doesn't mean that it is really good, you know, that's it. That's it. That's it. That's it. That's it. Bad things feel bad. Bad things feel bad. Good things feel good. Well, it's not that, but just something that you enjoy doing and is enjoyable to, I'll say your flesh, just that doesn't mean that it's good for you, but you know, there was, there was things that I, that I did that they were fun. Yeah. Correct. It was, it was a blast to do. It was fun, but it costed so much to do it. Yeah. Yeah. And the Bible says he didn't know if to do good and do it, if not, to him it is sinned. Yeah. That's because, and I'm not saying that I didn't know that it was wrong. I knew that it was wrong, but just because nobody told me it was wrong, there's a, there's something inside you that tells you when the thing you're doing is not right. Yeah. Yeah. And that's your gut feeling. Yeah. Yeah. It's called with conscience. It's called with conscience. It's called with conscience. It's called with conscience. It's called with conscience. Yeah. It's called with conscience. It's called with conscience. It's called with conscience. I just lost my chain of thought a little bit, but I'm sorry. Nah, it's... Choke, choke, choke. I believe the Lord. I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna rebuke that just like we're not branding, rebuke to my head and... Yeah. I'm gonna, every time I have this just sort of obligation when I try to turn the reverb about this stuff, if I have to redefine a word out, it'll be like just, it'll be like, it won't be too much work. Yeah. It won't. Yeah. Well, if I keep talking... I like the fact that you're still talking, because we don't get to hear you a whole lot on the podcast. So to hear you now, it's been sweet, it's been pretty cool. That's true. You give a lot of thought. I told you before, every time you talk, you give something deeper than we, than you actually think you're giving. And it really is good for the podcast. I love it when you do that. Yeah. It's amazing. I'll just go back to talking about youth camp then. Go ahead. That's what we were talking about. Yeah. Yeah. You know, I went in, like I said, I was broken. I didn't, I didn't know which way was up. I was... Talking. Yeah. Well, this... I... I get metaphorical spiritually. Yeah. Yes. Um, I decided in my spirit that I, something had to change. Yes. There had to be a new creature. Yes. Yes. So... Which was the theme of the... Yeah. That's where I was going with that. Thank you. Um, the... Thank the Lord that I am able to give you that thought. Um, the... Yeah. Hold on. Can I do something real quick? I've really forgot this. Okay. Just bear with me. Go ahead and keep talking. I'm just going to give up for a minute and change some things in the room. Okay. Oh. There you go. Um, the theme for youth camp this year was... Oh. Oh. Oh. That's what I forgot. Um, could have warned us. Paul, one person you'd have found me. Um, the theme of youth camp was identity. I knew something was wrong. Yeah. I could see. I knew that wasn't right. I can see clearly now. Not anymore. Um, yeah. Sorry. Uh, the theme was identity and it was also this is the year. It was, it was like a, like a subtitle almost. Crossword puzzle. Yeah. A lot of four letters of identity. Um... What a great idea. I, I wanted to ask about that. Who thought of that? Because it was such a good idea as a theme. Yeah. It almost seems like it would be brother Levi that would come up with something like that. Ah, maybe it would. It would probably brother Jason Tickle. It sounds, it feels like him. Maybe brother Matney had an epiphany there. Oh. I don't know. There's a lot of ideas there that could have sprung from him. Identity. Identity. Yeah. You're going somewhere with that. Yeah. Yeah. This is the year. Yeah. This, this is the year. Um, I've been going to this youth camp since I was 10. Wow. Uh, well, I went when I was nine, but I wasn't a camper. I just visited. Anyway. Um, you know, so going every year, you get into the, the, the mood of it. I can't say spirit because it was, like I've said before, it was just a time to go hang out with my friends. Yeah. And then also there was church. They were the spirit of camp, but not a spirit of church camp. Yeah. Yeah. Not a spirit of worship. Yeah. A spirit of camp, not a spirit of worship. This year, there was a need. Yeah. Um, you know, you can take it slow. You can take it slow. I don't mind. Absolutely. I take everything. So go ahead. I mean, I'm not going to rush you. You just take do what I do. Yeah. There was, uh, I thought that I did something correctly. I started doing something correctly and I let myself drift off the path. Yeah. Um, in doing so, I heard other people around me. I hurt myself. Not literally, but yes. Yes. Thank you. You're welcome. Do you want to make sure? Probably emotional. Mostly spiritually. Yeah. Psychologically even. Sure. Um. Pathologically. No. I'm just making up words. I mean, that's a real word. Um, craft and all of that. That's not. Anyway, um, you heard a lot of people around you. Yeah. I heard a lot of people around me, not intentionally just in letting myself lead the way as opposed to listening to the spirit as I should have been from the beginning. So I came into youth camp and I knew that I had to, like I've already said like three times I had to make a change or had to be something different. So I came in knowing that I was that I needed help and knowing that I was at a place where I could get help. Right. Yeah. So youth camp was a little different for us. Uh, it ended similar, um, but oh, very similar. Yeah. We'll get into that. Yeah. Part two next week. No, no. We're going to do that today. We're doing that today. Um, yeah. Take a slow man. You heard a lot of people. I know. Yeah. I'm, I'm aware. I'm just trying to English the thoughts. I like that phrase. Oh, yeah. It's very difficult for me sometimes, especially because I get distracted so easily. Yeah. How do you do that? You just think about tea, crumb it, stop it. I received the Holy Ghost. Well, yeah, that's, that's how it ended, but, um, I just say, I believe I'm in the spirit. I feel like we don't need to go somewhere. Don't go there. I want you to. That's what I'm doing. If you don't feel comfortable, I'm just, I'm skipping a, uh, I'm trying to be vague about the issues. Yeah. But I, I decided that I, I, okay, was it, was it Wednesday or was it Tuesday morning that Brother Donovan had the puzzle? That would have been Wednesday was Wednesday. So I'm just going to go Thursday was a Wednesday. I'm sorry, Tuesday was his first message. Yeah. So then it would have been Wednesday, Thursday, Thursday he had always, uh, y'all are scaring me here. That wasn't the same message. I don't think. No. And then Friday was the last day. It wasn't that one. So I, I believe it was Wednesday. It was so, uh, the morning speaker views camp, I like this because it works well with how I think, um, he brought a puzzle in and it was, it was on the, on the cover was the nice, beautiful picture of what life was meant to be. Right. But inside is just a thousand little pieces. Right. And, you know, I spent, I've, I've spent so long trying to take the piece, the puzzle pieces of my life and put them together myself. Oh, come on. That in doing so, I may have broken a few of the pieces. Some of them were just slammed together. Yeah. You know, and, and it was, it was a picture. Yeah. But it didn't look like the one on the cover. So. Wow. Well, but I had, hold on, I had my, my broken pieces that I had to just, that I, I didn't, but that were just, you know, blown off the table and, and, and I had to make up in myself that I was going to take my broken pieces and I had to give it to God because I had already tried myself to, to put it together, but I can't. Right. And it's, it's something that's hard for me because I don't know if it's just my toxic masculinity, but I, I like to be able to solve the problems myself. Yeah. Well, what I was going to say is that your analogy is flawed in a way because you're not the one that sees the finished picture. You haven't looked at the front of the box. You don't know what the end of your life looks like and where the plan is. Right. You're looking at the pieces and trying to fit together where they should go. But because God is the only one that sees the full image, he has the box and sees all of that, he has to be the one to put your puzzle together or at least tell you where they go. It's like, Oh, this is the picture. And you're kind of like, it's just a bridge. Where does this go in the full picture? It's a lot more difficult. I don't know if there are any puzzle, yeah, if you have a puzzle out there. But if you're a puzzle person, jungles who complicated because it's just green, right? There's a lot that goes into it and most of the time you'll see them, they'll be looking at the box, looking at the piece, looking at the box, looking at the puzzle. There's a puzzle piece, puzzle set. You can look up on Amazon, I believe it's on Amazon. It's a blank picture. It's no picture. It's a, it's no picture. It's just a bunch of puzzle pieces and they're all white pieces or black pieces or whatnot. And you have to put them in. I've seen a clear one. I've seen one made completely out of cover. And there's no picture to look at it. So I can see that as the description of your life. Yeah. When you're trying to find the right spots for the pictures, but the only person that can see that visual picture is God, you're just trying to put the pieces together in a way where it makes sense to you. And even though God sees a bunch of different pieces in the wrong places, he knows all he has to do is just put them in the right spot. And for you, that seemed like the impossible thing and taking those pieces up and saying, I gave up, I can't do this anymore, God, you're the one that can see where my life has to be at. You take my pieces. You take my puzzle and you put them together. That's what that works. Thanks for saying everything that I just said, way cooler and faster. Hey, listen, somebody had to do it. But no, for real, that is a good analogy. And I'm glad you brought that up because it works well with the description of all our lives. Everybody's had that happen to them. Even if their puzzle is 94% complete, sometimes we struggle with the last couple pieces. And so you may have your life all together. You may be completely broken up and have to start all over again. I don't know where anything goes. I don't know what I'm doing. And you may be really, really close to being done with the puzzle when you wrap it all up and say, all right, I give up, you know, I can't do this anymore. But if you have the whole puzzle, no, this is not your situation, but if it was, imagine you had the whole puzzle put together, but you were missing very important pieces that were missing in the past. You had three different pieces, yeah, three or four different pieces that were missing out of that puzzle. Right. And you didn't know where the pieces belonged or where the pieces were in the first place. And the whole time you're dealing with an unsolved puzzle. That's annoying. That's annoying. Right. But anyway, great analogy. That's awesome. Yeah, we can think with a lot of them for it. No, no, you're the way you'd describe that perfectly for it. I like that a lot. But if that's all you, what you want to finish where you're going to that, I know you wanted to go ahead and finish with how youth can't end it for you. Do you want to go ahead? I'll do mine. I'll do mine. Yeah. So. real quick in between quick spot a shadow to our sponsor sauna Thanks sponsor The only thing they're sponsoring is my hickoffs Free free free free endorsement We had to pay for every other one also I realized right now that it looks like we're picking up in the same. Oh, yeah Yeah, we have two different yeah mine has the sticker off to the side I've made sure there was a way to tell me the fact that by the way I look like I'm doing magic back here because I can just like I can't just like reaching behind the laptop We don't actually believe in man Don't get that sounds with my head, please So I'm gonna I'm gonna go ahead and start back at youth camp 2010 and that is 2010 yeah 2010 where I went to went to youth camp and I asked where I first got saved on June 25th of 2010 I didn't do her supposed to go that far back. I'm not going that far back I'm just starting there to give some get some leeway I'm if you want me to I can go way back to where we were to 2005 or something, but oh but instead but I'm just go back and listen to our episode. Yeah I'm not doing all that yeah, but June 2010 and do 25th 2010 I got saved at that same exact youth camp Just 14 years before the Lord saved me and it was through a process of a vision of seeing my family saved in the front of the altar and by by going back and forth down the aisle of the church and Every time you see my family saved or seen my family worshiping God. It gave me Excuse me a desire to serve God and for him to fulfill that promise that he gave me. Yeah So every year I would over every year every day that I was able to I would go and search and seek for the Holy Ghost There's times where I'll be doing something and someone would say do you have the Holy Ghost? And I felt like it was pressure to me. It felt like so much pressure that I didn't know what to do with it So I was just like, you know, I don't know if I had the Holy Ghost You know it's one of those things that you should know, right? I don't know if I had the Holy Ghost and I've been seeking for a very long time So, you know, I got a feeling down at the altar in 2010 where it was just like wow The Lord really did save me and I'm really I really know I'm saved because this feeling is so powerful You know by the Michael who we call papal at our church He came down when I was praying down there and put his hand on my back and started praying for me and through his prayer I felt the Lord just touched me and that right there was a feeling that I could not explain Fast forward to 2024 of youth camp of the 30th anniversary and the reason why it's the 30th anniversary is because they started in 1993 and they had to skip again because of COVID yeah, but the 30th anniversary it's would have been 31st year, but The 30th anniversary a special year for youth camp. I'm 33 years old for myself knowing that I am the year I am the age that Jesus was or And I am living my life and I know I'm having a purpose But I didn't go to youth camp to seek for anything because of all the discouragement of never Never finding the Holy Ghost never being able to get filled with the Holy Ghost I've been told so many times brother. You're doing so much good in your life It looks like the Holy Ghost if you get the Holy Ghost you have so much power I can't wait for you to get the Holy Ghost right you know, and I'm just like you know the Bible says The that the the Holy Ghost is with you and shall be in you right. Yes, so that scriptures in my mind like Lord The Holy Ghost is with me. This is why the works that I'm doing seem so powerful Helping people ministering the people giving the word where I can't get the word preaching in the church when I can Just yeah, you know raising my children in a godly way where they can know who God is and learn Jesus You know, these are these are things that people do where they say you have the Holy Ghost because the Holy Ghost is the guide he's a guy he guides you through the knowledge of the word of God and When I was when I'm seeking I'm just like maybe I do have the Holy Ghost, you know, maybe I do There's a doubt there because you know, the evidence of speaking in tongues is one of those things that you know That you have the Holy Ghost and I've never had the evidence of speaking in tongues ever, right? so This is this is this is I'm in life. I was just I was making sure I am I'm in back track We see this is where you'd have the the daydream Cloud and the back and it'll be Here's the here's the here's the you can tell it's a flashback because there's no color in the video, right? It's greenscape but but at the time I had never spoke spoken in tongues before and That was a doubt for me because I'm just like if if I haven't spoken in tongues and I guess I don't have the Holy Ghost And maybe the Holy Ghost isn't with me, right? So maybe he's not and I don't know but this youth camp I didn't come to youth camp for a For an experience to be honest with you. I said it before already in this in the same episode I didn't come to youth camp for an experience. I came to a youth camp to do a job. Yes the job that I had was a was a junior counselor and The junior counselor is responsible for getting them For getting them for my job anyway was to get him from lunch to church Oh, I'm sorry from lunch to indoor and outdoor activities and then from After dinner church time, so I was responsible for them a door during those times But any time that I'm on campus I'd have responsibility because because I am there I have some I have such a responsibility at the same was for all of us, right? Yeah, I've seen one of us no button in a different sense Yeah, because the lead counselor was the one that was in charge and the other counselors were the ones that were helping the lead counselor Yeah, so I was in the system council. Yeah, so you were helping me a lot. I didn't feel like I did anything I thought you did in the way of most of the time believe me you did a lot and it helped me a lot so When I was and and that that counselor job that counselor job was only thing on my mind Was to make sure that they got whatever going doing what they were doing and getting to the spots They had to be at that was it But I didn't I didn't stop there I went to the altars with them to pray for them because I had a burden that they what I wanted them to say the Lord and Worship God so I prayed for them. I did I prayed for every single one of them Brother Seth came down every time when I was up there praying and he would scan You know, he does his thing where he scans people up there and then he just prays for everybody. He saw me up there and Every time I was up there. I was praying and I was worshiping and I you know, that's all I was doing up there And he said, you know, it's it's not his time. He's not ready. You know, he looked at me and said he's not he's not ready So because I see saw me. He saw me praying for the kids. I wasn't in the mindset to receive anything Yeah, that's why I wasn't ready. I wasn't I wasn't in the mindset, but there was a Thursday night And I'm I going too fast. I look Thursday night when They were singing going on there was do you love him song by the senior choir? They were singing that You can probably catch it on the turning family band. They we they sing it We sing it all the time in church But that song ministered to me so much Because what it did to me was it showed me if I really love him then I'll praise him Yeah, cuz if I don't praise him, you know Someone else will or something else will you know that whole the rocks will cry out. I Don't think it's a literal thing the Bible was talking. I don't think it's a literal the rocks will cry out I think that it was a metaphorical thing now you could correct me I don't know for sure, but you can correct me if you want to in the comment section, please if you want but um and by no means am I trying to challenge anybody, but I think what it was saying was You know, we have a belief in our church where We have to be obedient to God Yeah, but there was a brother in our church his name was brother Hubert and he he would feel the spirit of God move and One day He was crying in the church. He was just crying worshiping God and it looked like he was having a hard time and then We all prayed around him and then all of a sudden But at Michael got on got on his hands and knees and started crawling around the altar It looked different to me because I'm not used to seeing someone crawl around the altar like that Brother Michael brother Hubert brother Michael he crawled around the altar and then After that we went into testimony service and brother Michael said the Lord showed me to crawl around the altar and The Lord just broke out in certain broke out. He didn't the service broke out with the Holy Ghost Brother Hubert testified and said I felt like the Lord showed me To crawl around that altar And I didn't because I felt like it, but I wasn't worth it So by what the Bible says about the rocks crying out is someone else will do it Yeah, not me if I don't want to or if I don't do it someone else will John if I am feeling the Lord And the Lord shows me to march around the altar and I don't do it I will not be surprised if someone else starts marching around the altar because the Lord will put it in someone Else's heart to do exactly that so I That song blessed me so much that I wanted to make sure that I praise the Lord Yeah, I gave him worship that I knew that I was giving him the glory because he was worthy He was worthy of my praise and when I was up there I was putting my hands up. I was worshiping with all my heart And then brother Seth comes behind me and then he says you got this Jose You got this Jose. It's like brother Seth does. Yeah, and at that point I can you can you can hear him literally do that you can hear him saying that because you know when he prays for you He does the same thing doesn't yeah And bill you to he does the same thing for you And I really appreciate him doing it for me because I was really there sometimes when you're up there worshipping There's a times when you get discouraged because you're not receiving yeah, but you'd hope you receive yeah, but I'm praising him I'm not like I said I did not look for anything other than just magnifying the Lord and worshiping and praising him Then all of a sudden brother Brandon Blevins comes down over to me and he starts praying with me and while he's praying for me He's listening and praying And then I hear him say that's it that was it. I'm just like what what was it? And I'm still praying. I'm praying my mind still hasn't left The mind of worship. I haven't left that but brother Brandon Blevins was there. He was rebuking a spirit on me He's rebuking that spirit on me and I'm in the episode of mental mind mental health matters You can hear all of my my problems that I've had So brother Brandon. He was he was praying for me not out loud Because he didn't want me to feel discouraged. He was praying for me and he this is all afterward Just always telling me that from yeah, but I was praying and worshiping and he said that was it. That's it All of a sudden the Lord fell on me the Holy Ghost fell on me and I couldn't stop it I was speaking in tongues and I knew that I was speaking in tongues because it was a it was a language that I did not understand I didn't know it it happened. It just happened so fast. I feel the Lord right now really strong and It was something that's it was something that I could not explain it was something that a joy was in me that overtook any joy that I've ever felt in my life ever you know and it's strange because you don't normally like as a person that's Not really into worshiping God as strongly as that you're just in church to just raise your hands or play the instruments Yeah, or just you know shout amen to the preacher You're just there for that But that joy that I felt was something so different and so joyful. I could not explain it And then I shouted in the church. I was moving around Brother Seth was there praying with me still praying with me and then all of a sudden I don't know where I came to myself. I was laying down on the floor and I looked up and I saw six people. I want to say six I think six people could be four or five, but sure close to six six was the number I came up with And I saw I looked up and I saw six people looking at me and they were praising God and they were they were they were looking at me Happy they had a they had a joyful smile on their face every single one of them did and then I closed my eyes and I Continued praying I can well. I was speaking in tongues I continued and I just closed my eyes and I felt like I fell asleep again But there's brothers Seth. I hear him saying just resting him was stressing him brother. Just resting all day. I Got back up and I told every single person there. I told everybody, you know I said I got the Holy Ghost. I just got the Holy Ghost and then I went to go to To Netta because she was she was coming down from from the from the altar and pew. Yep I went and grabbed Netta I said Netta and she she was she was on her way and when she's on her way from she's going somewhere She will not stop. She doesn't stop. She just keeps going. I stopped her and I said I just got the Holy Ghost and She got excited. She stopped what she was and the Lord blessed her. Yes the Lord blessed her and when the Lord blessed her it was me and sister Lee that was there praying and all of a sudden there was um There was there was Bill behind me and he was praying with us And while he was praying with us, I just felt this I felt this peace The Lord spoke to sister Lee and when she spoke to sister through sister Lee sister Lee, the message that the Lord spoke was You know, I don't know it worked verbatim. Maybe you will know more verbatim But it was you guys are doing a work for me is what he what basically this is verbatim not verbatim This is a summary a paraphrase of what he said I am blessing your platform. Yeah, you guys are doing a work for me and you're ministering and winning souls for me I will bless your platform All of a sudden me John and it was just me, but me John and Bill just praying together me and John Both praying in the Lord bill praying and we're just we're all having a fest. Oh What's the word? I'm a Feast of joy. Yes, just in that moment. It felt so good, but It felt like nothing. I've ever felt in my life you know, I Went and I prayed for Bill up in the front that same night again Bill was praying. I went to pray for him and The Lord moved on me in a way where he did just just recently And while I'm praying I you know I wanted that I wanted everybody to feel the same joy that I felt every single person I wanted every single person to feel the same joy and Bill was praying and I said bill I Know you got I know you're gonna you're gonna get filled with the Holy Ghost I wanted I wanted to take the Holy Ghost feeling that I had in me I wanted to bow it up some of it and just give it to Bill so that he can have it But you know, it doesn't work that way, right? But I prayed so hard that he could do it. Yes, you know and then brother brother Everett came up behind me I think it was brother ever sound like brother ever. He came up and he just laid his big hand on my head And when he pretty prayed the Holy Ghost shouted through him and I started I Started dancing to the to the church. I just felt the Lord right there again It started dancing in the church. I just I didn't know what I was doing I prayed I was worshiping God and the in the in the Lord speaking in tongues and Came back to Bill. I was so excited the Lord was so strong on me that day and Oh, I Just thank God because there's nothing that would beat that joy. I mean Honestly, I have kids. I have three kids and they're out joy to me They they got the greatest joy to me in my life, you know because the Lord delivered them out of the womb in ways Where you would think you would think is impossible like me and my and Amani and that's right and and sealer They're all three had complications and the Lord delivered each one of them completely unharmed Blessed by the Lord each one of those are my joy I'm just what I'm saying is the Lord gave me a joy beyond measure that I can still not explain to this day And I today I would like to have every single person that I had ever met to have that same joy That same feeling and to be filled with the Holy Ghost and fire It was on Monday that I came back home After youth camping everything. I got to mow the lawn And when I was mowing the lawn the Lord moved on me in a way where I started speaking in tongues being blessed by God While mowing the lawn and you know That's one of those things where you're saying if you don't get the Holy Ghost now You'll probably get them when you're sleeping. You'll probably get them on your way to sleep You'll probably get them on your drive home. You'll probably get them when you're when you're you'll probably get the Holy Ghost when you're mowing You're lying you'll probably get the there's all those different scenarios, and I'm pretty sure the Lord bless me every single way He blessed me in my sleep. He blessed me on the way to work. He blessed me on the on the lawn mower He blessed me at work. He blessed me in church every single time Every single way and it's a joy unspeakable and I thank the Lord for it This is nothing. That's my testimony about the Holy Ghost. It's amazing. And I mean I Don't really want to go with that. That's this that was just such an unbelievable experience that I wish I would wish for everyone to have that and John We were praying like I said when John was pro we were playing praying in the Holy Ghost. I found out right then That he had received the Holy Ghost because when I prayed for him I heard him praying in the Holy Ghost and it gave me even more joy. It was so good Yeah, here comes my story. It's a bit different I didn't think about what was going to happen during the week other than all of the responsibilities that I had because while I had less than both of you My roles were different So I was in charge of outdoor activities. I didn't have any help either Right, it was just me so outdoor activities and and you know I had a little bit of assistance there from Jose which I'm grateful for but it really was in the afternoon and and then it goes from that into You know, the church services obviously were a big focus on what I was doing and then after the church services I would be doing what we ended up calling SFH YC after dark and it was just a little thing where we did a live stream name yeah, we did a live stream every night after church a little ways and Yeah, I really liked the name. I thought it was a cool little feature to it and it just had its own life And so we every night we'd have like a little interview or we do something and live stream for about 15 And then it would be on YouTube. We'd share it to Facebook Easy as you do, but I had to be in charge of that So there was a lot of responsibility of me to make sure I had the right person Yeah, and so brother Matt They would help with that and he was very involved in the it was really good. Yeah He was he was there for the first one we had a little Little funny skin little bit planned for that and it worked well and so what happened? I never I never actually he was like he got a call. I was like, oh, I'm gonna have to rush I don't find somebody to do this and so he runs out of the room Little you can see what happened in the skit was but then Matt He was in the middle of it of doing the podcast episode and then all of a sudden He said he just took his headphones off got a phone call got answered the phone and says what an alligator And by the way, I was standing out there while they were setting up I was out of the room for literally 20 minutes while they were setting this up He thought you'll be all I'll be in there for 30 seconds and back out And then for 20 minutes I stood there people came in they thought I was crazy. I said it's gonna get even crazier But but it was fun and and so we got done with that But that took a lot of my thought and focus. Yeah, it's like during even during the services I was kind of don't ever text in church I was kind of texting back and forth of like this person and and we were even looking for can we cut this song to use as an intro and We play it through and and we had different moments like that where we just kind of communicate with that But that was kind of like I was like, okay, I'm gonna do that I'm gonna pray a little but obviously a lot of my focus goes towards the instruments because I Understand that the kids want to play or I pray rather and so I would you know I would pray for a little bit. I would help them pray a little bit and then I'd be like all right No, but he's heading up. I'll head up and see, you know play same with me as well I would usually Yeah, had had to wait for him to go and then head towards the church and so It went well the week was going terrific. I really prayed on Wednesday morning. I believe and Or no, it was Wednesday night rather. I prayed Wednesday night and it was good and I played drums throughout I played bass throughout it was it was very mixed bag of you know services But never really gotten super close with a Lord Just kind of you know, I would start with helping the kids pray and then I'd pray a little bit But it wasn't anything super serious So Thursday night, we were doing the senior choir. Obviously I have to it's frustrating I think it's not like I love to play different things when I have to sing with them or anything So I'm up there singing. It's very important for me. It's really funny that they never asked me to Join back into the choir. It's not funny at all Because they heard me sing while I was a camper and they're like You did your time you can go over there Yeah, but anyhow all the voices they can you can for sure yeah, that's my lens On Thursday night was a lot different because I wasn't down there in the in the mosh pit of people I was up on the platform so I See you of what was going on because there's just again There's a crowd of people down there and I'm kind of looking in between all the playing I'm doing So they got they were singing the song the spirit started moving We really started tearing it up as far as you know, people were really getting in and worshiping and there was a lot going on And so then finally the choir was like everybody go down I think I sang up there for a little bit. I Think I vaguely remember you being Yeah, I was singing in that with a mic and then they kind of were like all right Everybody there can go down and then Brother J. R. Looked over me gave me the nod and I was like You were singing with a mic though. Yeah, well, well cuz like if I was it it would have done much good I would just been up there. I Yeah in the crowd. It was very good. It was very good Well, like there's only three people in the three guys in the C require the sing. He had a he had a dedicated mic to it Yeah, but it was really good. I liked it. Okay. Well, thank the Lord for that. The Lord's Friday night Friday night was rough When it came to like singing cuz everybody was good You know, I was like I wasn't sure if I could do it because like we had the same song we did Monday night Tuesday night. I was like, it's a lot different than it was Tuesday night Yeah, I'm sure that anybody's voice But on Thursday night I was up there singing for a little brother J. R. Gaby then on who was playing bass at that point And he wanted to get in there so he unplugged and I plugged in and so I was playing so long I think I remember him praying for me a little but I saw you I saw you guys praying I saw Jose mostly and kind of people mom came up with gave me updates. She's like, he's really praying down there Yeah, I was more on the wall right so who was who's playing brother Matt and he was I don't know that they've been it may Have been Tim or Abigail. I wasn't paying attention. I think it was Abigail. That's right. Yeah. Yeah, it was And so somebody switched out either way. I knew I don't know somebody did and so we were we're you know We were playing I kind of was watching but mostly focused on the music and things and kind of worshiping in my head and So then yeah song after song and a long time Right, right, right song that's when but Brandon was playing the piano. Yes, it was and that's what afterwards he came down They switched out. Yeah, yes, and so she started playing and then brother Brandon went down to pray with you Yeah, so after she was playing for a while. I was just up there, you know same old. I played bass Play a while and and just kind of watch everything and then eventually mom came up and said Jose just got the Holy Ghost And she's talked to me for a little bit about you know about it about the whole situation Wow, you know and kind of giving me some encouragement there and then she went back down I kept playing out, you know, and and then I heard after a little bit. I heard Netta Which I've heard I could recognize her crowd even with the headphones on you know I was like, yeah, somebody's really praying and the Holy Ghost and that it was she was loud and hard just you know Yeah, I have I have no recollection of hearing that I don't think I heard Netta at all. Oh, she was there, but she was there I don't know how you didn't you. Oh, so if I didn't know that you had gotten the Holy Ghost I probably want to know him right then Both of you were next to each other praying and it was really neat to see because it kind of the crowd spread out and I can see that I was like, man, this is awesome. I saw you running around the church And I was going on a church to me, which I don't actually remember doing John did yeah, yeah, I have no recollection of ever running you did once. Yeah for sure I remember that you're leaving you ran around the back and then the middle aisle not the guy I know that I never run around the whole thing. Yeah, right and so Brother Sam did at one point as well during the week I don't know what they thought man. I might have Thursday night, but that was I saw John running that was Thursday night Yeah, I saw I saw a lot of things going on in the spirit. I was he was the first one He started it because yes, right because brother brother Everett was talking about worshipping God and praising if someone should run on this whole Alps or on this church Yeah, and then for the Samuel just obey the Lord and just went around and then started always broke out again Yeah, it's true. Yeah, that was all going on eventually. We kind of all kind of you know Who was oh? It was brother Brandon. He's he came in and got off the base At the it was winded down, you know kind of a little bit and and he just came in I'm plug everything went down and then that was when the whole family. Oh, yeah That's there was around you and around. Okay. That makes sense It's I really got him started praying and thanking the Lord for what he had done. Yeah, and and all gathered around That's our mom gave the message that you had referred to Which I didn't actually hear that either. Really? I don't know what she said. Oh, yes spreading the God She said with our ministry that we he was blessing our ministry. She didn't say it. It was a spirit It was a lord talking to her, but but he I've remembered. I don't remember the exact I remember her It's saying at one point spreading the gospel. Yeah, we were afraid we were spreading the gospel Some continue to do it. You know, I will continue to bless you and you're in the right place Which is exactly what I've been asking for all week and months before that is just to let us know if we're doing the right thing Right, it's like what papa at one point with our church. That's the Lord. Is this what we should be doing? Or should we go somewhere else and he said I'm right? You're right. I want you to be doing what I want you to do exactly. Yeah, and that's I just wanted to add a boy Because then we have a certain amount of faith and it takes less of our faith because we know okay We're doing good right and so that was that was amazing And then we were just standing around giving everybody, you know bear hug in and and hear both you speak in tongues and there was a little feeling of Just not regret disappointment, but I could it was the feeling of I could feel regretful You know what I mean? I didn't like it wasn't like I didn't feel regretful the thing that I could have Regret about yes, exactly where it was like I could have gotten down and started praying a little earlier Right, but but I don't know if it would have had the same effect I don't know if that's if I should have been playing What do you go through that thought process because I'm interested in that I mean like because because a lot of times when we're in church It happened it happens What night was I told you get John with it Wednesday night? Yeah, okay, it's right Wednesday night. It happens all the time where we have a feeling of obligation Yes, correct to music and to our duties in the church Which is what I felt when I said I was gonna be a junior counselor I had an obligation to duty of my job And church a lot of times when there's music playing if you're the only drum player Yeah, then your duty is to play those drums if you're the only base player Then your duty is to play those to play that base Peanut player guitar player, you know, you name the position. Yes, you have a duty to play those drums or play those play that instrument and Wednesday night I felt that obligation But then I said I need someone to come fill in for me and then I said bill Where's John and you looked over and you kind of gave me like a hesitant like So after that when you gave me that hesitation, I was just like, you know what? I'm just gonna stop I took the drum sticks. I put them away I got out of this I got out of there and I saw where John was worshiping God and I got into the service. I was like I felt if I didn't move and this is where you know If you love him then then praise him, right? If I didn't get out of that drum set What would the service have been like if I didn't move what would that what would I what would I have been blessed that night? If I didn't get out of that drum set and prayed with John and everybody and prayed with you What would that service have been like if if mama didn't stop playing the piano and started praying for what if what if she kept Playing the piano that whole night. What if you kept playing the bass or what if you wouldn't I mean, you know I get you so I'm getting what what what is the thought process for you when it comes to that when you feel that Regret because I know I've thought that before and I want to get that out of you. Well, it was one of the things that I I want to be careful because I don't want to offend But at the beer right spiritually. Yeah Spiritually, it's hard for me Because I sometimes don't have the love of seeking the Lord because it's work. Mm-hmm, and it is it's hard work I'll explain that before you it's a change in your life and sometimes you don't want to change in your life You don't know how that'll affect you. It's just not your normal thing And so I preferred to do something I'm comfortable with which is singing in a group It was what I was already doing the whole time. So when they say everybody down Not only am I like I a counselor but I'm somebody who whose voice strengthens the group and I love doing that when it's in a group I I prefer not to do solo because I feel like my voice isn't made for that quite, you know And I don't feel comfortable. Okay when we're all up there, and I'm already up there So I was like you want to sing which I remember her asking you want to sing? I was like, yeah, let's do it So then I go up there, and I'm singing I'm comfortable with it. Everybody's out there. I can watch the service unfold, but it's something where I don't have to just Not do nothing, but it's just like It's a personal thing that benefits me. Yeah, not something that could benefit other people I think honestly I can I think myself from before Of different services where I'm playing the drums and that same feeling that I felt in 2010 Yeah, that same feeling that I felt in youth camp in 2024 and the 30th anniversary of the youth camp that same feeling I felt several different times and Many of the times was when I was on the drum set. I felt the Lord So when I feel that I think oh the Lord's blessing me. I gotta play louder. I gotta play stronger He's blessing my hands. He's giving me moves that I don't know how to do those I mean and believe it or not he did those things. Yeah, but Sometimes the Lord gives you the thought Step out and get in front of the altar even if there's nobody there the Lord shows me just to get up and Praise God in front of the altar That's something that is very uncomfortable to think about because I would be the only one that stepped out I would be the only one with my hands up. I'd be the only one praising God, but That's something the Lord showed me and I think that's a problem that I've had before is if he shows me something And this is probably gonna get down to a lot of nitty-gritty stuff when it comes down to obeying the Lord, right when he showed me something It's the hesitation of should I do that or should I not? There's a comfort zone that we are in because I'm in a drum set. I know how to play the drums I know how to do it. Yeah, I know that if I don't play the drums the song sounds different so I and and the atmosphere might change if I get off the drums, but If I had obeyed the Lord before I feel like the Lord would have gave me the gift of the Holy Ghost Probably earlier, but now that I know that like I said hindsight is 2020 or 2024 or 2024 in this case hindsight is that and I Only I only know that because of what I have now. Yes, but the sight of but but being back then I get that regret. I should have stepped out. I should have praised. I should have praised God I should have raised my hand. I should have gave a shot of hallelujah You know, I should have shouted amen to the preacher when no one else was shouting amen because the message was really touching me But well, you know those things happen. I feel regret I know what you're saying and it is it had bothered me before so that's why I wanted to get your It does and you're right is something that you're comfortable with. You know what playing the drums is You've done that and not only that you're expected to do that. Yeah, that's what everybody around you is like Oh, he's gonna be up there. Mm-hmm That's why this year I played the drums a lot more because I knew not many people expected me to do that Mm-hmm and I had been working a lot on that and I just felt like sometimes I was like I feel like I don't want to play bass on Mm-hmm. I feel like it's something like this song I I can play this song well and so the first I was it Monday night. I played for the first time or Tuesday I thought it was Tuesday night and the song was just really good So I prayed for a little bit and it was like mildly irritated me because I was also like man I'm really looking forward to That's where with by the way what you said about being the only one Who can play the drums and that that is where the pressure feels sometimes It's the other way around where because there's multiple people there who could do that you're like Oh, I better go quick, you know Like because you have that love and that's where I needed a transition that love of whatever I was doing into the love of the spirit And finding his ways. Yeah, and so Thursday night ends No, holy gosh for me But I got to see my two best friends do that It was a powerful service and it and I even in the praying it helped and the Friday morning service was excellent and And it just kind of helped get everything into perspective So eventually we get to Friday night and and most of the time it's spent worrying about like the skit We're doing Thursday afternoon and all this all that stuff was over everybody had one that done your you know Everything they were going to do and so then they had the awards before the church service Yeah, and so we got done with that and then it goes into the service. We performed our skit right at the beginning of the service Again and and it went really really well and you know Then we go right from that we cleaned everything up and it goes into the actual service. Yeah, and that one was Another didn't it? It almost broke out again. Oh, it's the night. Yeah, Friday night. People were praying. Yeah, that's a lot and and I was When they break it was The senior choir sang I do remember that and then we all went down. Yeah Yeah, it was the senior choir for the Jeff came out because there was a there was a call from the from the pool pit About getting the Holy Ghost. Yes, and but Jeff Stepped out in faith and all the men went to pray with him. Yes. Oh I thought it was Josh Josh. Oh, but Josh. Yeah I don't know why sorry, but Josh. I'm sorry if you're listening fine, but it's all right. Um But he came out and he he came out in faith Washed to worship God and he came out to seek the Holy Ghost after that message. Yes, you know, it was a short message It was very short. Yeah, it was a very short very short And then after what we have to have not happened I went up to pray with him John was there and then we were praying everybody started to go up there Yeah, I didn't well That's what me and John were talking about and we and that's funny because I when I mentioned to John I was like John where's Bill and he panned the room and he's I don't know he panned up the font I have no idea where you went and I was at my seat. No, I was looking never saw you I was looking up on the stage and I said he better not be on those drums because I saw that I seen the I would have dragged him out of there, but as soon as I saw the base I was like he thought the base because it must be on one person left He must be at the drums after that. I looked at John I said I don't know where he's at I look back and I saw him with Granny Granny was praying with him and I said Oh, yeah, yeah, I said John we're going pray for Bill and he was like, yeah, let's go We went up there and we made it we made it a deal. We're gonna pray for you like we like we moved seats out of the way Yeah, yeah, I knew that I just like get out of the way So in how so you guys are up there praying for Josh. Yeah I was up there kind of praying at my seat and I didn't I was like I could walk up But I didn't really feel it, you know, like I was like I'm worshiping here I'm not you know, we're not sure what I'm doing yet and just kind of worshiping brother matinee went over But the JR get up here, and I was like, oh, I see what he's going He was just like, oh man, you know, but but then Kind of started worshiping Granny started really praying for me, which this is sad to say it annoyed me but it's just because I When I'm lazy So I want to be in control mm-hmm because then I can control how much I want to do Yeah, whereas if there's people I'm like, oh and I'm gonna pray all night because they're expecting me to and I told Granny that - negative mindset Yeah, a very negative mindset and that's I try to work myself out of that. Yeah, but sometimes I told Seth this after everything was over I was like, thank you for pushing me. I told brother Donovan that as well Thank you for pushing me out of my comfort zone because I get lazy and and you really are very Honest with how you feel about mm-hmm He did that with the first year. I met him. I had barely even I spoke to a little but I was up on the base Singing playing the bass first time I'd ever done it three years ago, and then he was brother bill You better get off that base and get them on to it And they sent me right down and I started praying that I really got a touch ended up on the floor I think we've talked about it, but it was unbelievable And so that was just because I was tired of raising my hands to be perfectly honest I went to the knees and I went to the floor and then I you know really prayed there but the last night of youth camp this Friday, you know last Friday night of youth camp I Was you know granny was praying next to me. I started praying and eventually I stood up started raising my hands and praying I think I didn't even have the thought of the drum set You know, that's about the time that we got to you. Yeah, and it was I still knew what was going on I mean, you know I was just kind of worshiping and not really honestly not really feeling a whole lot I was just kind of praising the Lord and trying to get in that mindset Mm-hmm, but never really knowing if I was in that mindset Yeah, and just kind of thing trying to do you know do what I felt like I needed to do Yeah, and really praise and I also had the added bonus of having you know Two of my two of my best friends in the world having the Holy Ghost and I really wanted to push towards that. Yeah, and And so then you know people started getting around me I heard Seth almost immediately when he started I knew when he started because you know He was really helping. Yeah, by the way real quick. Yes, it is amazing First how loud it gets in that church. Yeah, and second how well his voice cuts through that noise. Oh my word Yes, right there. It was right in my ears. It wasn't though, but yeah, I know yeah Who be standing like this far away from you? Listen, I I literally was praying with Bill and I said he's too tall for me I need to go up here. I climbed up that chair I started telling him how I felt it. I was like he was right in my ear. Yeah, you felt that Yeah, it was like that's not right. Yeah, but Seth was like he was at my height And when I went up to he was that he was like, yeah, but also like more than a mom's region way literally I could hear him I was on the other side. Yeah, yeah, I don't know the other side here at all time And it was such a amazing thing and it's hard to describe because it's it's something that it's hard to describe And it feels like I'm I'm over exaggerating No, no, but every single aspect of what he was telling me was what I was feeling in my spirit without me voicing it Yeah, and it was insane. I mean I literally like he knows when you get tired I don't feel like and this is where the size of my arm you were talking when I'm pray You were talking to me. It was later in the night, but you're like, I know you feel it I know you feel it. I really didn't and this is I don't know if this is a good thing about I really didn't feel anything Even in that Wow, even in that I didn't it wasn't You know like when you get excited or whatever you can feel something happening. Yeah, it wasn't like that It was like where I expected emotions to be there was nothing But it was just the way my worship was that was different It was it wasn't like a I'm gonna feel this and I feel it for sure. It wasn't a certainty your worship was more heartfelt It was hard to find if it was yeah, and that's where I am Seth all every 10 seconds From your heart bill. He's got to be from your heart. Yeah, and I was like Is it? I don't know Because my mind is working overtime at all times to think of words to try to think of the right thing. I want to say fireworks, that's just fireworks. I hope it is it is the fifth of July, um, you know, so At the time of this recording So, uh, that's what I meant. Yeah, so he would you know say have it from your heart And I try to focus on that but it usually just meant I would just have simple thoughts Maybe that weren't I didn't know if they were from my heart or not because sometimes it's I process emotions differently sometimes it's hard for me to tell if it's heartfelt or just me saying something while I'm thinking Yeah, and so I was really trying to focus on that while trying to focus on praise Focus on I want the Holy Ghost focus on send it down lord, you know, and I had these Pre notions of what some of it is you have to Almost stop thinking it has to be More feeling than thinking right well and to tell somebody stop thinking is almost in a possibility so that Stop thinking about and just send it from your heart. I'm like, well, so I start thinking about not thinking and sending It's almost impossible. So that's where it takes that's why it takes so much time And it gets to the end of the week because it takes so much time to figure out just To how yeah, you're just kind of like overthinking it and then you have to just Ask it. Let me ask you this have has there ever been an emotion to or a feeling of the lord helping While you are seeking him has there ever been one I know when When brother tony when don tony said I was preaching you felt the call from god to get saved What emotion were you were you feeling then when the lord or feeling when the lord drew you to get saved because there's a feeling there that I had to There was a feeling that I had to get back into to To cultivate to make sure I knew how to worship the lord Yeah, honestly, it was probably fear Okay Like the conviction but the worry that that it would be too late Okay, and that I wouldn't get it right and then I needed to do something about it Or it was honestly the fear of public exposure So there's so sometimes for me and this is my personal experience um, and I've I've talked about this before I I really had a hard time with people telling their personal experience because their personal experience never lined up with my personal experience Of trying to receive the holy ghost. Yes, I received the holy ghost differently than everybody else that's told me how to receive the holy ghost Yes, but You know where I was going with that is Somewhere it had to Um, I had to think about what the lord's done for me Yeah, I had to think about the good things that he's that he's done where he he uh delivered my son from from being uh born Um, yes, but surely no no no no or a breach no no not breach. He had uh He had not he had not in the tube and if he would have been born too early Then it would it would have pulled the or he would have he would have Came down too soon. It would have pulled the not the not tighter and he would have suffocated. Wow, but the lord Deliver him from that Uh amani had the to tubes wrapped around her neck when she was born But the lord helped through that there was different miracles that the lord did for me I had to think about those things and then um amani I mean, I see ocela when she was being born she had to be we had to go to the doctor two or three times To find out that she was breached every single time that we went And we were going to go to deliver naturally You know both times we had to stop and and take a pause To go back to hey, we have to do some exercises to get her back to to where she would be Right, but the lord said, you know what we're gonna do a c-section You're gonna get her out the right right way with no harm Um those type those things were like the lord was really in my life Really helping me. I had to really praise him because those things I cannot thank him enough Yes for those things and even in my life with my mom my family. He's been really delivering my family Um when I say I was worshiping in front of the church walking back and forth who's that many times I'm literally right now seeing that come to fruition. I'm seeing my family worship God every single time All of them are really worshiping God and I thought I said lord I thank you. I worship you for this and and literally in the in the tongue of me saying Lord, I worship you the lord gave me the tongue And it was through a feeling of the holy ghost that I had So I say go back to those feelings that you felt When the lord saved you go back to those toes feelings when the lord delivered you I don't think you should have to fight to find a feeling I think you should just go back to those feelings that he gave you in the first place Because that same feeling I felt in 2010 was the same feeling I felt in 2024 when he saved me I mean when he filled me with the holy ghost that night That same as that feeling I went back to it Because if I had tried to find some other way around it, you know, I talked to granny I said granny There's there was a feeling for a very long time that if I went up to the altar that someone was going to sit there And put their hand on me and I have to stay there longer as soon as they went and put their hand on me I have to put my hands up longer, you know, and I might be my hand might be tired But they might be praying but I was done praying but because somebody else came over I'm just gonna sit there holding my hands longer and make it look like I'm actually obeying the lord when I'm when I wasn't Living in a lie. Yeah, I was living in a lie. I was I was having a masquerade like I told you last time I had a masquerade I was living with I was going through the motions But I didn't I didn't feel those feelings then I felt it in 2010 and I felt it in 2024. I just had to go back to it. Sure. Um, and like I said I'm not telling you that you have to do that. I'm just saying that's what I'm that's my right my um My relationship that I had or my my experience that I've had Um So something in me tells says bill you need to go back to that Go to a point where the lord really helped you And find help in that because there he's gonna give you the gift He's gonna give you the gift that you've been looking for Um, sometimes we and and I'm and it's gonna sound harsh but sometimes we don't look for it Yeah, because it's because of discouragement discouraging Discouraging times mean hey if I'm not gonna get it to if I didn't get it last week What makes what me what makes you think I'm gonna get it this week? You know, I mean, um, but um, I'm reminded of in the bible where Anytime something monumental happened to the to the Israelites They they built a pillar or something they would Well, not only that but Uh, when they crossed jordan. Yeah, they went back and they took 12. I think it was 12 great stones And as far as I know that's still there today They they made a mark. They they made evidence of this is where Uh, I think it was the leviets when the leviets stepped in the when they stepped in the water parted. This is where that happened It's almost like you have to look what he was saying. It's like you have to do that You have to refer back to where Something so yeah, something happened. Yeah, where where you were changed. Mm-hmm where you grew where you took a step forward towards god Um, and I'm again. We can't tell you how to get the holy ghost. I can't tell anybody how to get the holy ghost Yeah, it's I can't even tell myself how to get the holy ghost. Yeah, it's true To a point you have to you know, I'll go back to it You have to rely on other people to help coach you and give you advice But you can't have that that's what annoys me Is what people go you have to here's you know, that's the thing is is when people i'm just standing there I'm standing there praising. Yeah, i'm just standing there worshiping and praying And and the people yeah if he tells you to run on the church run on the church He tells you to jump up it down. Don't tell me to do anything. I'm like, I don't really like I need to do anything I am so sorry because that was me. That was that was literally me You're giving suggestions and I didn't appreciate it when you told me Because I wasn't in the right mindset. Yeah, I didn't appreciate it then. I was just like well Why don't you why doesn't he he's just told me to stand right here, you know, and I didn't have anything there And then Seth is kind of waving my arms like you got to loosen up bill you got to loosen up And I didn't realize Yeah, i'm doing this I'm doing this is what i'm supposed to be doing so i'm doing this and i'm like, please don't let my arms get tired They're starting to get tired. Let's see, but that's a thing. You know, we what we're supposed to be doing We we think we're supposed to be doing that You know, I thought what when me thinking that i was supposed to be down there receiving the Holy Ghost They're never thinking. Yeah, I never thought that. Yeah. Yeah, that's what i'm saying when i'm saying these things That's the mindset i had then. Yeah, is that i was like, I don't feel anything, you know, and i thought i thought it was going to be a um, an instruction. Yeah, just like a Jump up and down and just i'd hear that in my head and i'd go, oh, that's me Yeah, and i do it, but it wasn't like that ever. It was never like that It continues to not be like that. Yeah, even in the midst so so Back to the storyline picture of what happened i'm standing there praising Eventually people started kind of moving me. I didn't move myself, but like i started walking with them to the front I started walking back and forth And I really started feeling it more, but it took a lot of people, you know, even while i'm praising Then it would feel it would feel natural You know what i would be in a right mindset and i didn't even know it nothing changed in my mind As far as like what i needed to be doing i was always thinking the same thing i was doing the same thing Worshiping praising asking for the Holy Ghost saying i'm ready for it That kind of cycled through but then occasionally it would feel more difficult all of a sudden, you know, i'd be like, oh I'm really pushing here and every time that happened seth in my ear get through the wall bill You got to get through the wall every time every single time and and nothing had changed on my lips Nothing had changed on my face nothing had changed in my actions But he knew every single time he's like you you got to push through the wall you need it You need it you want to receive it you got to just keep going then i was like i guess i got to keep going So i kept going and i just kept pushing and finally i'm starting to walk up and down the front Yeah, and it was at that point that i felt That i was in the right place and i stayed there because there was moments where he's like this is the right spot You need to be in you're you're in the right area Just keep staying that zone and i would and then i back off and i wasn't changing anything I wasn't ignoring instruction that i know of But i just kind of felt differently about it like i would be praising and i'd really i'd start crying more And feeling it rather than just kind of like trying to force it out and you're not trying to force those tears And that's the feeling i'm talking about that feeling but it That's where i think it was just like it didn't change for me It just was a natural state Right, so like i over exaggerated what a feeling would be where i couldn't control the feeling And that's what i wanted to do because i was like i need to feel this more and i couldn't do that Yeah, so that's where it not anointed i just i was perturbed by it sounded I wanted to try to push that and i wanted to go into that But there's also a hundred thousand people around me praying or so i thought You know and there's it sounded like it cycles in and out And so brother donovan came up when i was at the front and started praying for me And i feel like that might have been the closest i got to receiving it as far as physical manifestations Well, man, because i was really praising i was doing that and then my tongue started to stutter a little bit Oh While i was praying nothing could be That could be the lord starting to move on me. Yes, and believe me i was In in my mind i was like if this is it i'm ready out anything you have for me to say i'm ready to say and i kept praising And then it you know a little bit stammering went away And you know and it could have been me thinking that or it could have been him going like this and i don't know But that was the closest i got as far as if there was a physical manifestation Everything else was in my head and and and the worship and all of that And then after that i'm getting through the walls And then i just kind of gotten to a zone and a zen state where i didn't have to push as hard I didn't have to constantly be worshiping i could just stand in it and and think yeah And kind of think about what the lord has done for me Praise them for that pause The whole time i'm just thinking i can't stop now i've gone too far i need to keep going I don't know if i can but i'm just gonna keep going i don't know when this will stop Yeah, but i'm just gonna keep going and when people When i first went up to the front people were walking with me and i was walking back and forth And i could feel it felt like people were pressing on me to turn and turn back and left and right and all that And i was really praising and i have to push you a while and i have to praise but i was just kind of walking through back and forth and people Kind of pushing me forwards and all of that All right later in the evening people started to leave People there were not as many people praying for me by the same who care away every once in a while Would come up and kind of pray for me in front and then go back to the side And i just kind of be praising but at that point i was still walking Uh, i think i stopped for a minute and then i started walking again and that point there was no one around me Pushing me i just felt to the turn and i felt the movement Oh, man That's and i just kind of would walk forwards and i'd feel like this is the direction i need to go And then i'd feel a pull to the left very it wasn't a feeling almost it was just like that's what i should be doing And and i realized i didn't Yeah, i realized then that's what you meant That's what you meant when you said let the lord guide you and you're you're talking about how you're moving around And he's just going to show you where to go. Mm-hmm But he doesn't show you in the blinding light of just like You know the guy waving you which direct it just is imperceptible and you feel like you're the one moving Because you are and and it just felt right so then you i would keep moving i would keep moving every once in a while It would start to fade a little bit and so i'd kind of rock back and forth And just where now you know where i said i move now is there somewhere you What do you want me to do the whole time i'm thinking that what do you want me to do? Where do you want me to go? What do you want me to say and i'm just worshiping and moving and i'll go back and forth i go back and forth i go back and forth Keep praying and eventually i started to lighten up and it wasn't anything i could push Further It just i felt like all right and then i started in in my prayers started to say if this is just The test run if this is just an experience that i need to have yeah in order to find that place again Then let that be let me keep searching for yeah Don't let me waste this just because i say oh i didn't get it so i'll never get it Let it be that this is the first time and it is the first time i've ever felt anything like this Amazing anywhere close to that wow um of of being led by the spirit And and i can still describe it Yeah to a certainty and know what it feels like Even if i even if i don't control that feeling or even know where that feeling is It feels like just an extra part of me Deciding what to do an extra little push in the right direction Then if that's all the experience is then let me continue to grow in that and figure out what i need to do in that place What were you going through when you threw your phone out across us? I mean you reminded me that was it was it flesh or was it spirit? um I didn't miss this part. So while i was praying. Yeah, there was only two people I only heard i only heard brother brandon talking and you or i was on the drums because brother matinee Oh, yeah, you remember you playing the drums i can hear Um, and so oh well. Yeah, you have any i well i couldn't hear it anymore. So Place quiet real quick On the subject of the drums real quickly. I know there was a point on the drums. I saw you praising And I was speaking in tongues playing the drums So like a lot of awesome like there was a point I was standing up. Yeah, and I know that because I was looking out at the crowd and andrew was standing in the crowd looking at me like this And then I looked out and was standing up. Yeah, it was so the phone thing. So, yeah, we were it was late in the night Yeah, I was almost finished. I think I was the only one there besides brother brandon I think was there maybe there were a couple people standing around but it wasn't anything like, you know, so I was Praising and and I just started thinking through, you know, what could be holding me back? And what are the things that that have hindered me in the past what are the things that are going to hinder me That I know of and I was like, you know, every single time the youtube starts coming up The you know facebook always scrolling things always looking for things and I was like even, you know It's I was like it's something I have I like I have it right here in my pocket while i'm trying to get this is if this is the thing that is Holding me back Then i'm done with it holding me back Even if it's just for this moment, so it's not a I don't think about it anymore And so I just put and you weren't even looking you kind of saw it after the fact, right? I heard it Right, so I just I just pulled it out and discussed Yeah, I Think I saw your inner safe direction, of course, but I just kind of tossed it over my head. I think she was literally I didn't know I didn't know cuz I was just I kind of opened and looked through and then which way did you throw at this? I think I think I saw you Listen, I was right there. I was right by the side right and he had just turned around Yes, and I was praying I was literally it took me a while to make that decision to myself I was praying it was praying for bill, but I was turned around and then I heard this this loud Bang on the floor and looked over and I saw bill pulling his handbag from throwing the phone As he just phoned on the floor on front of the first peter right behind mama and I was like wow So I got down by the altar and I said mama Bill just threw his phone out right behind you. Yeah, and then she said maybe the lord is just dealing with him and showing him things Yeah, let's keep praying though. We just kept on and that was a little bit in the flesh of trying to make sure that I wasn't keeping anything back Yeah, the only other thought that I had that I had but listen I tell you this because I know it's it's it's me too A lot of times there's a flat there's a flesh feeling Right. Yeah, where it's just like me. I'll just do this But then it's just like the lord Guides in sometimes in that way. Yeah, you know he showed me to move move my feet I had a thought I'll just move my feet, but the enemy The enemy will tell you any time you it's just you It's not the lord. So if you move your feet, you're not gonna feel the movements felt so natural that it I was That's what you worry because the movements are so natural. You're like well. God isn't showing me this It's just me, but I didn't control those movements But getting out of your comfort zone. Yeah, it's one of the biggest feelings of of gratitude when the lord blesses you Right. Absolutely. And this is the second thing I thought of that I didn't end up doing but I just It was a fleeting thought, but kind of yeah, I was like what else could it be and and I was at that point How long had I been now two hours? I think yeah, so at that point. I was thinking maybe it was only about 10 30 at that point They really had done it 10 30 actually 10 30. Yeah, really? Yes. No, no the church released at 10 30 Right. We were still there. I didn't 45 or 10. I didn't step out of the drums until 1145. Yeah, yeah Dude, I I saw I saw John. I said John. Are you okay? She said I'm tired. Yeah, I was so exhausted Well, this is what I remember at 11 30 because at that point like I was going through a lot of like should I keep going? It says a lot I'm tired. I don't you know, I don't know if I could keep doing this and I was like Um, the only other thing that I'm have on is my watch and I was like Like because then that's your health. Well, yeah But I was like is it a temptation in the moment of wanting to see what time it is then I get discouraged Oh, yeah, I was like I thought about tossing that as well and then it just never I didn't feel it as strongly as I did with phone or any of that, right? And I heard you say it was 11 35 off to my right. Oh, man. It's late. Yeah, that kind of thing But then oh no that was what that was but the devil's brother Samuel Yeah, right. Somebody said it. I don't know who and then I when I got done praying I looked at my watch and it was only I remember it only being 10 30 Yeah, well, but it was earlier than 11 35. I was like, whoa, you know, but I was like, oh, it's not that late I'm telling you when you're working the guy time just moves. Yeah, true. Um, so, you know, it was just an interesting thing What you were saying? Um, about having distractions. I I hate not knowing what time it is If you notice throughout the yeah throughout the podcast. I'm like, oh, yeah Yeah, right for sure because I hate not doing it. Time it is. So if you ever notice When I when I go up to the front of church If I have anything in my pockets, I take everything out of my and I take my watch off. Yeah, because um, it's interesting Uh I I want to go in with The idea of I don't care how long this takes Right, that's why we're here. Are you still hindered by that now? Even though you're filled with the Holy Ghost. You feel like that's a hindrance now Oh, I I I haven't won a watch the church. Huh? I haven't won a watch the church since I didn't have any watches with me Oh, yeah, so I I didn't wear a watch. I accept except for Uh, thursday night. Yeah, and wednesday. Oh, those are the only nights only watch. I forgot the biggest card of my testimony Did I say it? I was delivered from ADHD I'm trying to think of a word you don't even know. Are you eluded to it? I know right. No, I did I did I'm sorry. Go ahead. What you're saying. Basically over. I am so glad the lord delivered me from a yes It's a great miracle. It really is and and so that bill doesn't have to do all the talking. I'm sorry Well, that's where it ended is is me just In a spirit of worship like I'd never been before And sethos kind of like nothing was wasted tonight. It was all needed and it was and I is more steps toward it Right. Yeah, and and so then I got you know, talk to people in this service Afterwards and and just kind of had people hanging about and got you know bag more into A less spiritual mindset than I was in because I was just in that mindset for so long But but then always feeling like I wanted to keep pushing and I won't stop and you know two out of three ain't bad Yeah I feel like I'll talk to you afterwards. I was saying something to you We talked for a little bit and a you know, it just gave me the courage to keep going And and so I I want to and just because two out of three of the people on the podcast have the holy ghost I wanted to be perfect. Yeah, you know, I want to give that perfect ratio and yeah, and I'm gonna be seeking for it Yes. Keep on two different camps in two weeks. Yeah, so just keep praying for the holy ghost Right for me everybody Don't already be over by the time I play for all of us Don't just pay for Bill pay for all of us sure all of us see for sure Keep praying for all of us because there's a lot of spiritual soul searching that will go on And who knows where the lord will take this podcast where he'll take us. I already knows it's true I'm thankful the lord is blessing this podcast. I I really am because I think this episode shows maturity I think the episode showed maturity of the podcast. I mean, we're still being funny and stuff I like that. I like that where I even told you from the beginning. I want this to be serious But I also want there to be funny and that's why yeah, but you and john both bring the funny color commentators That's really good. Um, what like, you know how they have the comment They have the commentator that gets a big bucks and then you have the color commentator that says the funny stuff Oh, you know, they have all in sports That's commutative. So I think the lord I I really am thankful the lord's blessing this podcast because without that I feel like this would be in vain and Uh, we've went into this as a ministry because we wanted to give our perspective on the different different stories in the bible And we've done that we've done that last I think will last episode and it was amazing to do that Uh, will we do that some more of some Later on in different episodes, but this right here shows me maturity This right here shows me but the lord is in it and we're all banged god in our you know in our podcast and this is Been amazing for me. Um, I don't know. I think this is a I think this is a good spot to close Do you think guys? I would I would say that I haven't spoken about thursday at all from my perspective Do you want to talk about that? Yeah, you did not really do you want to talk about this a little bit I would I will say just a small amount because we're at almost two hours and I Wouldn't anyway. Oh well. I wouldn't have maybe our 38. Oh, okay. Um Thursday Um, I went a little differently for me than it did for you not much because it ended the same, but um Sorry, well, you got the holy ghost. Yeah, we both got the holy ghost, but um when I when I went up to start praying I was I felt nothing I mean we do when I started I felt nothing then uh, I would I would get a little bit um and I would It would it would like just drop off. I just Yeah And I was like I feel that man. I I don't know what's happening and Like an hour It seemed like forever. I'd I'd pray for a few minutes. I'd get really tired. My arm would start hurting I couldn't breathe. I'd start coughing I was like, I don't know what to do So I went to weather ever and I was like, you know, whether I call him by the Chad, but the Chad I feel like I'm hitting a wall. I feel like There's there's a thing here that's stopping me that I can't get through and he's like Okay That's that's really all he said. He was like, okay And then he laid his hands on me that that I mean that was the whole conversation like he hugged He hugged me because you have to be that close to hear anything In the in the hole in this mosh pits. Yeah, um and then he's Unless you're with a Seth and and he kind of He pulls back from me looks at me. He's taller than me. Just like most people are Okay And then he he takes his arm off me and he just Oh That was the whole conversation hit through the whole hand and and Prayed I prayed for a while. I got somewhere and then it just flatline and I was just like what So, you know, I'm walking around and I I feel like I pray better when I walk. I pace. Yeah. Just like mother matheny. Yeah Um, we actually had a conversation about that me and brother matheny. Um And uh, I try I try to pray always And I I feel nothing So, I'm like, oh, hey, there's but a little firm Let me go talk to but a little He tends to know things He tends to know things. Maybe maybe he can maybe he can help me So I go back there and he goes he looks me and he says says son. What are you doing back? You're talking to me Oh, the uh I can't remember if he said the lord or if he said the work Is up there I was like, well Yeah, I've been praying and I don't feel like I'm getting anywhere. I feel like I just drop off Here he goes. Oh, no All right, well, let's go up there You know, he just he does the lip thing right. Yeah So he stands up and we go up there and he he He feels like he ain't getting nowhere and they brought oil. Oh, yeah And they anointed me and uh, that's that's where um I do remember that I remember nothing after that. I don't I don't remember saying that you were Facing away from me about halfway down the altar So you were still in your feet. I know you've I was told that you fell down at some point, but you were still on your feet when I when I Finally got to where I needed to be to get Through that what I was holding me back right and um a drought dry spot. Yeah And Drash spail is brother Oh, I remember I remember some of what he said. He said well Daniel prayed for 21 days Ooh, and I was it goes it is not it's not gonna take you 21 days. Oh, right Well, the burn got away with words. He just he just does it's honesty It's it's an honest feeling that that you take the scriptures at their word And don't worry if you heard somebody's feelings because it's a scripture. Yeah, that's what happened Daniel prayed 21 days And he's been praying a while. He'd been you know at that point He'd been praying quite a bit and throughout his life So you just got to get in that spirit. Yeah, and it takes time It takes working out when you hit a dry spot, you know to keep pushing and you know where to go and and I just like I've already said I felt broken. I felt That's what I thought you got paid for by the way. I felt unworthy. Yeah I felt like because of things that had happened and things that I had done that I had went too far That I had right you felt like that relationship had sailed Yeah Um That was good. That was real good. That was a sure I don't want to go too far, but I was like there's a joke there. Yeah, of course it is I told him that a half an hour ago So 45 minutes Um I guess that I was I was told that I ran I don't remember running. I don't know how I ran considering the shoes I was wearing. We're completely slick They have no tread or rubber anything Um Another bottom ice skates no the leather ballers. Oh, I got you So and and they're old so there's no Modern tech like there's thread on the bottom. That's it on the outsides. Anyway Yeah, I saw you getting prayed for and I thought I knew what it was about and I was like, okay And then I think I saw you run. I was oh, you got some help there. That's good Um, really feeling somebody told me it's the fastest they've ever seen me move in their life And I was like well, that's that's because I wasn't me running Oh, well, that's good And I was talking I was talking the same afterwards I was like so I remember being anointed and then I remember standing in a different part of the church going Why am I still out of breath? Yeah And dude, I felt out of breath when I was And I was not running um But this is this is where I wanted to get to running for me Has always been the more comfortable thing somehow. I don't know how it wasn't for me But you know that was just that was just I felt the Holy Ghost I ran right that's what I did. I didn't feel that this time It was it was almost It was like out of I had to be out of my comfort zone because I was comfortable Yeah, feeling the Holy Ghost and running But the man he tells the story like every year that one time I ran out of my coat when I was like 10 Your coat was wave. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, everybody knows that story, but I felt I rather I didn't feel The run I didn't I didn't feel like that was what would get me where I needed to be Instead, I felt the need to jump. I feel weird jumping because I feel like I just look like a big Yeah, and not only that I have issues with this knee. Yeah, I'm afraid that I'm gonna jump blow my knee out Falling on the ground hurt somebody, you know, I feel like it's gonna end up horribly. So I had to I had to Just step out in in faith that that is what I was meant to do Yeah Um That's kind of been jumping Blowing a tire Yeah with those shoes he could have I don't know how I jumped on the shoes either Like I really don't know how anything that happened. I was worried when I was praying I was like lord if you tell me to run tell them people again Well, I was ready for it. Yeah, I was worried because I was like if I start running lowered I don't we move chairs out of the way. Yeah. Yeah. I felt that I was like, yeah, there's these weren't the chairs go We were in faith ready to go. Yeah but I've lost my train of thought but it was I had to be you jumped And you be out of your comfort zone I had to instead of assuming that that was the way to go. You know feel the Holy Ghost pray hallelujah run You normally feel the Holy Ghost when you when you run you know, you feel them when you run this time you ran But you also you jumped. Well, I I don't remember running running was like right an auto response for me. Yeah um Jumping right now was the one that you Yeah, and Yes, I remember jumping don't remember running Which is I still don't understand that. Okay. Um, I don't remember running. I do remember Um speaking in tongues which somebody told me I speak in tongues like I've had the Holy Ghost the whole time That's what somebody told me which um I have I have had the Holy Ghost in the past But the Seth told me he said I thought he'd been had the Holy Ghost I did too Honestly, I have had before I was like did he I know because I never asked because it's an uncomfortable question because if there's a no, you're like, oh Sorry, I don't assume anything. Keep sick. Oh, you're not sick. Oh, wow. I wasn't right. That's where I don't ask Uh at what you know, I went in I didn't have the Holy Ghost so I think it was actually Seth told me it was like you speak in tongues like you've had the Holy Ghost the whole time I was like no, I've had the Holy Ghost for like 10 minutes Right. Yeah, it's so natural. It's comfortable. Yeah. Yeah Is that what you heard? Yeah, that was it. Yeah, that's awesome I love the fact that but look both of the vern was in that testimony. Yes And and and I do remember that now it's hard to remember everything that happened that we asked my brother the vern went and prayed for me Because as soon as I got filled with the Holy Ghost. I came up from being laid down I went up and I was worshiping praising god along the side of the wall on that on that far side where the campers do you say that And then uh, he came over and he laid his hands on me and he prayed And then the Lord blessed me right there and I was speaking in tongues then and then granny came out Then granny came up and she saw me and she she was worshiping god She was speaking in tongues and she was worshiping and she was praying in the Holy Ghost She came down and she prayed for me and I heard mama shout in the background so loud which This is this is a way less spiritual note, but It's very strange for me to have like mama and granny praying with me because There's there's no interaction between manly female at my church during prayer. Yeah, right? Like even when somebody goes away, it's almost strange to have it. Yeah. Yeah, like like if you note like um Wednesday in church you have florida hole in a youth camp has Girls pray on one side Yes, I know Just Wednesday you you were like what comes down here and I was like no because to me it's It's weird to be around women in church. Wait, what I'm gonna say that um No, when you after when we when uh, everybody's kind of praying Together they were but not when you were praying after you got a friend later on. Yeah. Yeah later on when everybody was kind of being Called up to pray for this person. Yeah, and you were like, oh, just come over here because we It's weird you're praying. You're praying. You're praying. You know, I'm proud I respect that I respect that. Yeah, but I think is that where you want to go? Yeah, that's that's all I've got All right. Well, I think that's a good spot for us to go ahead and close the episode I've had fun this one. I think this one ran out for what one hour about 50 40 minutes 111 49 149. Yeah about 150 Um, so hey, we'd like to hear your experiences. We'd like to we'd like to know what you guys think Uh, hit the comment sections down below. Get us at www at the rosepod.com Uh, hit the like button on the podcast Platform that you are listening to for us. So you get notified when we drop an episode Uh, hit the follow button on facebook so you can always see our videos And until next time I was going to say real quick and I we've never said this before but I kind of feel it If you have an experience and a story to tell That that you feel like you're more comfortable sharing in person or you know You don't want to just type whatever you have to say. Yeah in a thing and you want to We have We have the opportunity that if you send in feedback, don't just tell us. Oh, you know, thank you We love this episode if you want to be a guest We'll consider all of those we may not say yes We we are free to make our own decisions on that. Right, but for offers That's something that we just have been interviewing people. We know. Yeah people we have experiences We reach out to ourselves right but if you are like I love this podcast And I feel like I have a story to tell that people would love to hear Send us an option send us a summary of what you have to tell and if you're like we're comfortable Oh man this story, you know, we're talking to each other like this would be insane to have on Because we kind of discover this ourselves and so if the Lord sends you to us Then that's an unbelievable opportunity that I don't want to just pass up because we're like we're not comfortable With people just inviting themselves essentially we're saying like I want to be on your podcast But because we have we're in charge of all of that Sometimes we lose the opportunities of having people reach out to us So if you want to leave feedback on our website on our email anything you have or even reach out to us directly Yes, we have our Facebook page. We have tons of options Available if you're thinking I have a story that we would love to tell or I just enjoy the spirit of the podcast And again, we're we're going to be the ones to make that decision because we're curating this as a ministry But but we would love to have that option available and I hate to say this at the end because probably everybody's clicked off by now But you made it this far. Yeah Thinking I love this podcast Something that I feel like would help people a lot because I mean this is the first time we've gone a two-hour episode of just serious stuff Yeah, just kind of pushing our testimonies and things That shows spiritual growth and maturity like you said and I think we want to keep going in that direction Yes, but if it's just you want to have a good time and and we're somebody who we thought that we already know that I don't think they'd be interested. You know, they may not want to be on they don't like talking very much But if you feel that didn't by all means let us know Because then we have opportunities to open to us that we don't see yeah, and we appreciate everybody leaving feedback We appreciate anything you do to support this podcast whether it's telling your friends whether it's just listening and letting it bless yourself um I think that's so correct way to say that but anyhow we are we are so appreciative of that and and This is a new This is the year. This is a new identity for this podcast right that we're not used to having but it's been such a blessing Jose's been really pushing forwards and saying a lot of things and it's been helping me John's really been sharing his experience. It's helping me I'm learning to step back a little bit and know when it's my time to say what I have to you know Like my story to tell when it's not just I am out of people speak and I I've been enjoying that and the lord is growing We have that confirmation so say whatever you want online. We don't care You know if you say we're horrible we say you say we're immature whatever the lord has blessed this podcast And if we stay in his will we'll continue to grow and appreciate that so much man. Thank you guys Have a good week all the things Follow us everywhere and whatever this not literally not a person please don't follow No stalkers But if you want to be on this podcast, please let us know and share your stories even if you just want to share your stories And just bless us. That's an amazing thing to do. So we appreciate everybody. Thank you guys We'll see you in the next one [BLANK_AUDIO]
