(upbeat music) Now I get to talk about a product I have used for years. Riverside makes it easy to get a studio quality recording of you and a guest from anywhere in the world. Most of the interviews on this show are done virtually, but the quality doesn't suffer because of Riverside. Check out riverside.fm and use promo code PEPTALK, all caps and all one word to get 15% off. And you can check out the link in the show notes for more info. ♪ On the creative journey ♪ ♪ It's easy to get lost ♪ ♪ But don't worry, you'll lift up ♪ ♪ Sometimes you just need a creative pep talk ♪ Hey, you're listening to Creative Pet Talk, a weekly podcast companion for your creative journey. I'm your host, Andy J. Pizza. I'm a New York Times best-selling author and illustrator, and this show is everything I'm learning about building and maintaining a thriving creative practice. (upbeat music) This episode is for you if you are tired of trying to do it all. You feel like giving up or you're wondering how to pep talk yourself or a friend or loved one who's struggling on the creative journey and stick to the end for some time travel and something new that I'm calling a CTIA. (upbeat music) - Jason, we have a lot going on. - We really do. Maybe too much, but it doesn't feel that way thanks to Miro. - Yeah, Miro is the visual collaboration platform that helps your team work together from anywhere. - Yeah, and Miro has tools for project management, creating a digital whiteboard with your team where you can brainstorm, making retrospectives and a whole lot more. We have a lot of content here at M&N, and we've been trying to figure out how to get our videos up on different platforms, and Miro's flow chart tool really helped us get organized and figure out what we need to do to make that happen. - And I really love Miro's mind mapping tool. It's a space where you can organize your thoughts in a way that translates to the rest of your team so that they can help you take action. - Super helpful because I can't always reach your mind. - You know, it would be scary if you could. Whether you work in product design, engineering, UX, agile or marketing, bring your team together on Miro. Your first three Miro boards are free when you sign up today at miro.com. - That's three free boards at miro.com. - Massive thanks to Squarespace. Squarespace is an all-in-one website platform that makes making a website easy peasy. For a moment, creative websites were kind of looking all the same, and I really wanted to break out of the templity look. Then I heard that Squarespace has this new fluid engine and boy am I glad I checked it out because this thing is what I always dreamed making a website could be like for me. Drag and drop stuff and then drag it all over the place. Text, images, videos, you can put it wherever you want. Layer it up, tear it up, everything I cooked up in my mind. I could figure out how to do without any knowledge of coding. Got a lot of comments like, hey, who helped you build this? And I was like, Squarespace is fluid engine, baby. You can see it at antijpz.com and head to squarespace.com for a free trial and build your own site. And when you're ready to launch, you can get 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain with promo code peptalk, all one word, all caps. As we discussed a little in last week's episode with Ronald Young Jr., sometimes you don't have fully formed projects and answers to creative or personal problems and strong statements that you're ready to make in your creative work. You're in that messy, raw, real middle. And you can share that work too. You can put out the work in progress. You can put out those vulnerable ideas and unfinished work. And that's kind of where I'm at today. As I briefly mentioned at the end of the last episode, the next couple of months are gonna be a little bit different on the show. I'm deeming it the slow and steady summer. Now, honestly, I wanted to call it the small and stress-free, slow and steady summer extravaganza, but that's just me falling back into my maximalist, overdoing it vibe. And that's what got me into this mess in the first place. Too many extravaganza's, too much staying peped for too long. So what mess am I in? That might be the question you're asking yourself. Well, I had a pivotal moment, a kind of get a grip, rock bottom kind of moment recently. And I'm embarrassed to say this, but it came via a meme. So, have you ever seen a meme that made you cry? Like, you know why I'm asking you this? Because yes, that's exactly what happened to me recently. I saw a meme that made me cry. I was there curled up in bed in the kind of burnout goblin mode that you really don't want anybody knowing about or seeing, but I'm somehow broadcasting this on a podcast. And there I was, just kind of mindlessly scrolling dumb videos when I came across this short form video meme. I don't remember what the text of the meme was or even what the point of it was, but it was a clip of Frodo from Lord of the Rings. And it's this moment in the movie where he is just completely cooked. He is exhausted. He is struggling to continue at all. He's at this point where he feels like he can't take another step. Partially what made me emotional goes beyond the meme. It's the context of the scene in the movie. And it's also just like Elijah Wood like completely owning this scene. He's downcast, he's staring blankly into nothing. And he utters this line. I can't do this, Sam. And I just watched it over and over again. I can't do this, Sam. And it was one of those moments when art just perfectly captures your reality. And you realize that you didn't even know that you were feeling this way. And I laid there staring blankly just like Frodo, watching it play on a loop five or six times in a row. And this dumb meme just made me feel really seen. I feel like I'm Frodo in that clip at this moment. Like recently I've had several times where I've turned to my wife Sophie and just said the equivalent of I can't do this, Sam. Maybe not exactly like Frodo. Like I'm not exactly in that scenario hiding, catching my breath behind a crumbling castle, fighting demons in the middle of Earth or middle Earth or Mordor or some kind of literal hell. I don't really know the exact language. I'm not a super Lord of the Rings nerd but I've seen the movies and I know it's a fantasy place and I'm not there. But sometimes when we are taking the extra long bathroom break just to hide, just to get a breather, just to muster up some strength, I honestly don't think our psyche can tell the difference between waiting out in the bathroom and hiding behind a crumbling castle in the middle of middle Earth. And I'm thinking that whatever battle you're currently in, whether it's diapers and the never ending parenting tasks or maybe it's a demanding nine to five that leads to you losing balance between work and life, burning out, slipping into the quicksand of unhealth or maybe it's a freelance career of juggling and spinning so many different plates that all of a sudden feels out of control and you feel like you're about to fall down and the whole thing's about to crumble down with you. I'm thinking that at some point, past or present, you have felt this way. At times like these, it really feels tempting to give up, throw in the towel, throw the ring away, cast it off, throw the paint brushes out and find some hobbit hole to hide in and just eat piles of potatoes and drink tankards and tankards of meat. And I wish I didn't personally get it as well as I do, but man, I get it, Frodo. What do you do when you feel like you just can't do it all anymore, when you're not just doubting yourself for a moment, but you feel wiped out, feel like you can't go on the same way that you have been. How do you carry on carrying the ring of destiny and taking the steps forward? Well, it's complicated and I definitely don't have all the answers. Like I said at the beginning of this episode, I don't feel like I'm in that place right now where I have the perfect solution and have it all wrapped up in a bow. But I kind of have a plan and maybe we can test out this plan together. By the way, I'm not being overly cryptic about why I'm in this place. It's pretty much exactly as it seems like doing client work, making books, traveling for talks, putting out a weekly podcast in a podcasting industry that has dramatically changed in the past few years, all while being a parent of three kids and just running the day to day of a business, it's just a lot. And I've had my head down hustling for too long and it's just got the better of my nerves in kind of a bad way. We've made a lot of really good strides towards things that will help balance this all out in the long-term and I'm not gonna bore you with the details of moving a podcast to a different network and the planning of new things. But the truth is emotionally and physically, I'm still just really burnt out. In the past, I would reach an obstacle or a hiccup or a rough day and I'd just find it within myself to convince myself that it was just an anomaly and I just needed to read the right book or tweet something and I'd be fine again. But more recently, I kind of found that I couldn't pep talk myself out of that space. Of course, I have some huge things to be grateful for that really have fueled me. We got the New York Times bestseller list last year, it opened some doors and it really meant a lot. We did the series on this show that I'm most proud of out of almost anything I've ever made, the right side out series. My kids are great, my wife and I have had the most meaningful creative collaborations that I've ever experienced in my life. These are big and amazing things and I don't take them for granted, but I've been feeling increasingly negative just through exhaustion. I knew I needed to do this next season, this summer differently in some major way because I imagined that if you turned on an episode of this show and instead of getting your usual pep, I gave you the version that was where I am at the moment. It'd be a bit like Jack Black in School of Rock, that kind of pep talk. And as much as you might relate to that, it might be a bit off brand, first of all, but also I'm not sure you'd be back. 'Cause I don't really know if we need that kind of not pep talk, but real talk. So I thought maybe I'll just give you a little taste of what that could feel like just to paint the picture. So let's try it for a second. Here's the pilot for my new podcast. It's episode one of creative real talk, School of Art. All right, here it is. Give up, just quit. Because in this life, you can't win. Yeah, you can try, but in the end, you're just gonna lose big time because the world is run by the man. Oh, you don't know the man? He's everywhere. He's in the White House, down the hall, ad agencies, corporate offices, the social media apps, they're the man, they ruin the ozone, they're burning down the Amazon, they kidnapped Shamu and killed Harambe. And there used to be a way to stick it to the man. And it was called art, but guess what? Oh no, the man ruined that too. It's a little thing called AI. So don't waste your time trying to make anything cool or pure or awesome 'cause the man is just gonna call you a fat washed up loser and crush your soul. So do yourself a favor and just give up. All right, that actually felt pretty good. It's a little remix of a part of the movie School of Rock if you don't know. If you haven't seen it, if you haven't seen it, what are you doing? Go watch it, it's an absolute classic. But even though that felt really good, I don't actually want to give up. I wanna carry all these things forward and it reminded me of another time I was struggling to carry things. So if we rewind a few years in 2019, we were doing a kitchen renovation. And part of the process was we had to empty out the house of all furniture so that the wood floors could be refinished. My contractor just casually requested as he left that I get a dolly and move the fridge out so they could sand the floors the next morning. And I was like, okay, great. Even though on the inside, I was actually feeling really worried about doing that. I'd never moved anything like that on my own. Now, despite the rhyming possibility and what that might make you think, I'm not in fact handy. But the contractor boss definitely seemed to imply that this was a relatively simple task that pretty much anybody should be able to do. So I just went for it. I attached the fridge to the rolling dolly with a series of bungee cord type things. Again, Unhandy Andy has no idea what any of these things really are, what they're called, what they're best for. I don't really know, but we were as secured as I knew how to make it and ready to go. But as soon as I began to move the fridge, something felt extremely off. Like I could barely even tip it up and onto the dolly. And when I did, it felt super unstable. It was just like unbelievably heavy. And I knew I have to move this thing down several concrete steps across the yard and into the garage. And it almost felt dangerous to even attempt to get it out the door. But I just pressed on anyway. The stairs were genuinely frightening. Like the fridge was toppling, it was swaying, it shook and crashed down every single step. After what felt like an hour of struggling, I just barely managed to finish the job and get the fridge into the garage. Now after the floor was sanded and sealed, I don't know if I'd come to my senses or something, but I couldn't imagine dragging that fridge on that same epic journey in reverse. So I just decided to face the shame and admit defeat and admit that I'm just not that capable and ask my contractor who was a lot more experienced and a lot bigger than I was if he would just move the fridge back for me. He said, yeah, that's fine. And was clearly not worried about it at all like I had been. I felt pretty inferior. Then when I was watching him from the window, I noticed him ask a member of his team for help. He then returned inside and pulled me aside and was like, "Hey, sorry I asked you to move that thing. "I've moved hundreds of fridges, "but this one is by far the heaviest I have ever moved. "You should have asked for help. "You are lucky that you didn't get seriously injured." I was shocked. My first thought upon hearing that I'd moved this object that these two stronger and more professional men had really struggled with was, "Whoa, I am such a freakin' badass." Damn, Andy, didn't know you had it in it, buddy. Just kidding, that's not my first thought. Truthfully, what I thought was, this is kind of a wake-up call because even though it had felt wrong and dangerous and definitely too much for me, I just quietly kept going. Why? Because other people had implied that I should be fine. What I actually thought was, why did I do that? Why didn't I trust the thing inside of me that was saying alarm bells, like this is not okay. Why didn't I trust myself? Why did I ask for help? Why did I power through something that felt genuinely unsafe? And what other things am I carrying that are dangerously heavy just because other people made me feel like I should be able to take it? The contractor boss had assumed two things. What I was capable of and how heavy the fridge was. And I think this is a great example of how even if on the outside we may appear similar, even if we feel like there's a standard to what humans should be able to carry or do, truth is none of us know what each other has going on in the inside. We don't know what's in each other's fridges. Maybe it would even surprise you to know which fridges were the heaviest, which had the most dangerous stuff to maneuver. I had assumed two things. What I could do and what I should do. I hadn't listened to myself when all my internal warning signs went off. I hadn't listened when those warning signs told me to stop and because of all these assumptions, I hadn't asked for help when I really desperately needed to. (upbeat music) (upbeat music) Just like that day five years ago, when I moved the fridge, I have recently felt like I was carrying some heaviness that was a little bit too much for me and that warrants some help. I share this because I think it's important to perpetuate a healthy mindset that acknowledges that work in goals and mission. You can be earning a New York Times thing and doing a series and celebrating a bunch of really great things in those areas, but it's not everything. And at the same time, you could be really struggling with other stuff. And I also wanna be honest so that those who are struggling with a fridge that feels super heavy don't think they're wobbling down those concrete steps alone. Unlike when I was stubbornly carrying that deceptively heavy fridge, I need to acknowledge the warning signs from my body and emotional health and I need to stop and ask for help. I need to lean on others more and learn how to escape this dark place and never come back here. In Lord of the Rings, Frodo needs to carry the ring, but he can't walk anymore. So Sam carries Frodo as Frodo carries the ring. I need Sam to carry me as I recover a little bit. What do I mean by that? What the heck does that even mean? Who is Sam? Is there a real Sam? I wish I had Sean Astin to come and pick me up and push me over his shoulders like they did to him back in the day with Rudy. A great actor, but who is Sam in my life and how can they help me today? Well, I think Sophie is definitely one of my Sams. I think maybe you all are a little bit like Sams to me sometimes and I even think that past me can be a Sam. Recently, I had a conversation with a podcast listener who in a nutshell said that they were concerned for me a bit and felt like I was perhaps not doing so good. They suggested quite wisely that I consider what past Andy might say. I get this joke every once in a while, like people being like, "Oh, you're feeling down and a little bit jaded?" You know, there's this podcast you should check out. It might help you out. It's called Creative Pep Talk. Ha, ha, ha. Very funny. I realized that making a show like this and not being a nonstop jazzed up ball of positivity is kind of a weird thing. But of course, I didn't make this podcast because I was just overflowing with helpful positivity. I made it because I always need a pep talk. And so I knew other people did too and I'm constantly out there, you know, collecting the positive pep talks in my mind and the things that keep me going and things I see out there in the world and I bring them back here in case they help you too. It was my way of creating what I had needed to exist. They were right, of course, to be concerned, but it didn't mean that in the moment I took that advice really well. I felt defensive and a bit exposed. Kind of felt like when you're in therapy and you're just venting in the therapist is like, what would your childhood self say to that? Or how does childhood you feel right now? And you're like, all right, F that. I'm tired. I don't need more ideas and strategies. I just want to be mad for a second. So most of the time for the last 10 years of doing this show, the monologues that I write and do in these episodes are kind of, in my mind, time traveling transmissions to a past version of myself. I'm trying to help past Andy make better moves, avoid unnecessary pain points and setbacks and unlock better outcomes. But lately, I've felt like I've been a little bit lost and it's like I'm now sat on the side of the road and I've been sat there for so long that my past self has actually caught up with me and is like, all right, man, what's next? Let's go buddy, where are we going? What's the plan? And present day me is just like, dude, honestly, I don't even know. Like I'm kind of a bit stuck. But then if I think about it and I think if I could sit on that curb and look up and see that a bit naive but bold and super excited past Andy, what might past Andy say to me now? Now, unlike most people, I weirdly have the tapes and receipts who actually know what past Andy might say because 2014 Andy, 10 years ago, pre COVID, pre having three kids, when I only had two kids and a mortgage, Andy was starting a podcast and I decided to listen back to the very first 10 episodes and see what he had to say. Could he help me? Could in this bizarre way, I help myself. Now, this is so weird but I did what I do with other podcasts. So I assume you do this as well. I just scrolled through the first few episodes and I was reading the titles and kind of imagining which one may speak to the place where I'm at right now and have something that I needed to hear. And I was actually honestly still pretty skeptical about it but I thought, "Hey man, I gotta try something." So I started with the first ever episode. October 14th, 2014, episode one, hustling. Now, that is hustling without the G at the end and I knew instantly that is not what I need right now. I do not need to be hustling. And then I looked at episode two, strengths. Nope, not feeling strong or even wanting to think about strengths. Number three, how about this for a title? Pain, pain? No, episode four, overthinking. I definitely did not want to think about overthinking. Then I got to episode five. The first episode that I made that didn't have just a one word title and I kid you not, the title of that episode is the obvious thing that you're missing. And I got chills. I was like, "Okay, maybe this is it." The obvious thing that I'm missing, I couldn't even remember what it was. And I thought, "Okay, let's check it out." This is the episode past Andy must have written for me now. So I listened unsure what this obvious thing was. I mean, I made it 10 years ago, I had no idea. So today the episode is about the obvious thing that you're missing. That's what today is about. So here's how I set it up. If you've ever watched Power Rangers, which if you're a millennial, I'm guessing you have, you always know they send up that the main bad guy would send a monster to do some destruction and the Power Rangers would come to save the day. And they would start kicking his butt. So the main bad guy would grow the monster super huge and then they would call on these dinosaur robots to get inside. And then the monster would still be kicking their butt. So then they'd have to go Megazord and all team together. And then finally they would destroy the monster 'cause the Megazord was so powerful when they teamed up. It also reminds me of this other thing. I'm setting it up and keeping you in weight on the hook. I bet you're just, you can't wait to hear what the answer is to this. But the other thing it reminds me of is in Lord of the Rings, I saw this YouTube video once of them saying that this whole giant journey to get rid of the ring and several people die along the way. Gandalf himself I think does some kind of death. And then when they get to the end, Gandalf remembers that he has these giant eagles that can carry them all the way home. And it's like you risked your life because you didn't remember this obvious thing. You could have got the eagles, you could have ridden them all the way to whatever that place is. I don't know all these names, but to get rid of the ring. And when I watched the Power Ranger think when you're a kid, you think, dude, when the monster's there, the first time, just when it hits on the scene, did you forget you could just go Megazord right away and just like squash him? Like, well, I don't understand. Why don't you just go Megazord right away? So this is what I think it's kind of like. And I think that one of the biggest keys to finding your thing and to really live in your full potential as a creative person is collaboration. It's getting in, coming together with the other rangers and making the Megazord. All right, like I know that's ridiculous, but I feel like if you were watching the movie of your life, you'd be looking at yourself, looking at your peers and thinking it's so obvious. Like you need to team up with these people. Like they've got the strengths that are what your weaknesses are. Like they're the key, like you need this thing that's in your way, this giant thing that you can't get past, this roadblock because of your weaknesses, that your friends and your peers, your creative peers, they have the key. They're the ones that can get you through this. And that's what I think collaboration is like, you know? And I really believe this from a personal experience. (gentle music) (gentle music) Okay, so here's the spooky part. This is actually how it played out. I experienced and then wrote that Lord of the Rings meme moment of giving up and then listened to this episode five with no idea if it was gonna have anything useful or relevant and pass Andy not only spoke to an Andy in hard times, but he uses the Lord of the Rings reference about making it home with the help from others. I have even just referenced this eagle part in just a couple episodes ago about something else. I was like, Sophie and I couldn't believe it when we were working through it. And maybe even got chills and tiered up a bit as goofy as that might seem, but it kind of took us completely by surprise. And I feel like I actually somehow time traveled. Okay, past Andy, I hear you. Okay, Andy, regretfully carrying the fridge. I need to chill, I need to ask for some help. So for the rest of the summer, instead of being an enthusiastic guide to my past self, I am going to try to be a present one step at a time companion to my whole self. And hopefully you will join us on this journey as well because we are trying to solve a problem that I think has hit a lot of us recently. Major burnout, anxiety, fear, and the burden of trying to keep up with all the changes that are happening in the world and online and the more and more and more demands for what feels like less and less and less rewards. In the movie, and I apologize for spoilers, but damn, you've had a lot of time to catch up. So I'm just going for it. Frodo needs to carry the ring, but he can't walk. So Sam carries Frodo, who carries the ring. And I still want and need to make this podcast. I love making this podcast, but I cannot and do not need to do it alone. I'm glad to say that Sophie Sam has helped me carry this way and carry me with some writing and editing and podcast related tasks. I've had some great chats and interviews with other creatives. These guest Sams have carried me for episodes and are also refueling me in the process through this burnout season. And if you would also like to be a Sam for me and CPT help me carry this fridge to the garage, so to speak, you can send us your favorite episodes, ideas or quotes from the last 10 years that have helped or stuck with you and things that we could revisit on the show over the next few months. And if you even know someone with a podcast that would be a good fit for this series and they could do an episode with me, I am all ears for that too. So send your suggestions to hi@andyjpizza.com. So that's the plan, lean into community and sharing this space. And I think maybe some of you may even need a softer approach this summer as well. So I hope it inspires you to take action on that. So I'm not going anywhere. And I feel confident that with the help of my friends and peers and family and maybe even will root out where those dang magic eagles are hiding so they can help take the load off a little bit. I will be my full peped self again in the future. I think it's important to remember that no feeling is forever. I think that is a really positive thing. And so I know that the, I will reconnect with the old me and in a great way and bring some of the current and future me there too. And hopefully find some even better spots in the very near future. But let's be real. I'm not exactly there in that moment, in this moment right here right now. And that is completely okay too. If you two are feeling this way, you are also not alone. And this is what friends and family and support systems are for. We are a community, a creative community. We do not need to all be individuals on solo heroes journeys all the time. And in fact, if you want to get a little inspired on this topic, check out Gail Caragor's book, The Heroines Journey. It's all about how there's a whole other heroic journey that is not about going it alone and you're the only one that can do it, but about how we all need each other. And we can only accomplish this stuff if we work together. So like I said last week, there is not gonna be any CTA's for the summer episodes. No homework, school's out, and especially not for this episode because that would be ridiculous. So no more calls to action for just a little bit while we rest and soak up the goodness. Remember why we're doing this in the first place. But because I can't help myself, here's what I'm calling a CTIA. It's a call to inaction. And here it is. Just quit! What can you quit? What can you say no to? How can you delegate or ask for help? Or if you're feeling fantastic, maybe it's how can you help someone else who's not seeming like their best self lately? How can you check in on people that are showing signs that they might need that? Because like that heaviest of hundreds of fridges, you don't always know what other people are carrying. It can be deceptive, and assumptions can be invalidating and even dangerous. It's okay to let Sam carry you for a while. And maybe Sam can even carry you, carrying the fridge and carrying the ring inside the fridge. And until next week, for a little while, I'm not going to tell you to stay peped up. So, I don't know, maybe just stay chill, y'all. And I'll be back next week. Creative Pep Talk is part of the Pod Glamorit Network. You can learn more about Pod Glamorit at www.podglamorit.com. This has been another episode of Creative Pep Talk, a weekly podcast companion for your creative journey. Hey, it's dangerous to go along. Take this podcast with you weekend and week out by subscribing to the show to keep you company and keep the best creative practices top of mind so that little by little weekend and week out, you can make progress in your own creative practice. I'm your host, AJ Pizza. I'm a New York Times best-selling author and illustrator, and I make this show not because I have it all figured out, but because as a squishy creative artist type that's prone to big emotions, it takes a whole lot of creativity to just get out of bed sometimes. So every week I put out the ideas that are helping me stay disciplined and stay excited and have helped me stay on this creative path for the past 15 years plus in hopes that it might help someone else or at the very least help them feel less alone in their own creative journey. Massive thanks to Yoni Wolf and the band Y for our theme music. Thanks to Connor Jones of Pending Beautiful for editing and sound design. Thanks to Sophie Miller for podcast assistance of all sorts. And most importantly, thanks to you for listening and until we speak again. Stay chill, y'all. (upbeat music) (bell dings) (upbeat music) (gentle music) [BLANK_AUDIO]
