Pod Is My Copilot
PiMC: Episode 121 - Jockstraps and Catcher's Helmets, or Black Friday Bitch
Taylor's had a time of it, Taffy tells a story from the Ghost of Bondage Past, and Rodan gets accosted in a bar...no, really! We are pod is my copilot.
blog: www.podismycopilot.com, email: podismycopilot@gmail.com, facebook: Ok, So I Love Pod Is My Copilot
(upbeat music) - Hey everybody, this is Taylor and thank you for downloading episode 121 of Pot As My Co-Pilot. I am joined as always by Tappy Carlisle Huffington. - Hello, lovers. - And Rodan. - Hello. - We got a, and of course now I just closed iTunes. Fuck, we just got a new review. - Did we? - Where is something like an oral orgasm, but it's A-U-R-A-L, which I was a little surprised that they actually allowed orgasm in an iTunes review, but it's very, very cool. - Very cool, very cool. - We're on an oral orgasm. Nice. I snarky audio cocktail used to be my favorite, but maybe oral orgasm might be our new, my new favorite. - Yeah. - That's really cool. - Nice. - So, it has been about six weeks. - Six years. - Yeah, it's about that. Since we taped one of these, and it's not for lack of trying. - That's for damn sure. - Yeah, we were gonna tape another episode last week. Rodan wasn't gonna be here with us because he was en route to Florida, but we were gonna have Luke Miller on, and I was on call last weekend and it was a nightmare, and right at 10 o'clock when we started taping, I got a call to go poke a dead person. So, we ended up not taping then, and a myriad of other things, which I'm sure we'll talk about over the next, you know, 45 minutes or so. But we're back, and God willing, there will be no issues with anybody's track tonight, and we'll be able to edit this relatively quickly with a minimal amount of fuss and fuss, and we will get this out to all of you. Very patient listeners. - Because God knows we have downloaded every conceivable new type of everything known to man, considering you and I's Max are pretty much now, essentially brand new Max. - Yes, yes. Within the course of 48 hours, both Taffy and my hard drives crashed. - That is just insane. - And we don't even download the same kind of porn, normally. - I know. - What are you gonna do? So, we were, it was one of those things where he happened to be here when mine took a moment for itself, and he hadn't-- - I like that. - Thank you. - That's great. - And because he was here and, you know, he was watching me talk to everybody at Apple and all this other stuff. He went home and backed up, because he hadn't done it apparently in a couple months, 'cause it really slows down the Mac views time machine. Thank God he did, because it ended up crashing the next day. - About, no, it ended up crashing about two hours later. - Oh God, was it really that quick? - It was that, it was that quick, where all of a sudden I was playing City of Heroes, and all of a sudden the game locked up, so I did a hard, you know, I turned off my game hard. I turned off the Mac hard, so to speak. And then it just started acting really crazy. I turned it back on and went to go make dinner. Bobaloo came in from work, and the 20 minutes had gone by, and then he came in and he goes, "Are you downloading something?" And I said, "No, why?" And he goes, "You just got a white screen." Now, I knew from two days before that a white screen was not a good thing, so of course, you know, "Crash, bang, bang!" In the kitchen, I go running a-- - What? - No! So I was on the phone with AppleCare, for, I would say, about an hour and a half, them trying to walk me through things. And for a while, it looked good, and then all of a sudden, it just like, "Wah, wah, wah!" And he was like, "Yeah, that's not a good thing." - I was gonna say, I even, at one point, for those of you who have Macs and have ever had to call the Apple geniuses, whatever person programs the stuff that you have to do to try to recall any program that's in your Mac and get it to work again, I even asked the guy at one point, I said, "Do you guys do this just to make fun "of your customers?" Because literally, the amount, you know, hold shift, hit cap lock twice, then, you know, type in the sequence of 14 different numbers, then spin around in your chair twice, and then eat a lollipop, and then, you know, face the computer backwards and recite that alphabet. It was ridiculous, the amount of different now, you know, hold down command option, and then hold down the number seven, and then hit cap lock and hit L-O-M, right as you turn off the computer. What? - Right. - And if that one doesn't work, you're gonna go through 14 more of them, right. - But the weird thing is, you hit the buttons, and then it does things. - Exactly, that's what I'm saying. Who figured this out? - What about these families that have little kids that pretend to play on the computer and are hitting buttons with the computers off? - Exactly. - They turn their computer on, and the first thing that pops up is, you know, tentacle porn or something weird like that. - This is what, this is how they're able to call themselves geniuses. You know, if we wrote, if we created a computer and wrote our own lingo, people would think we were geniuses too, but of course for us to actually do that would mean we were actually geniuses. - Right, maybe they were that bad. - Apparently someone in Apple's just a big fan of Contra, which I'm sure neither that joke, neither one of you get. - Contra AB AB, up down, left, right, center star, or whatever the hell it is. Circle gets the square, whatever the fuck the thing has been in Nintendo. - Yeah. - I will say this, I had three days without a Mac, without a computer in the house. I mean, Bobaloo has a computer, but I purposely tried very hard. Actually, I didn't go on his computer at all. By day three, there was a little part of me that was sad the computer was coming back in the house. - But you had a laptop that you could go on. - Well, and I did that, you know, I did that, you know, during the productive times, like at work, that's when I would check Facebook, but at night when I was at home, I purposely did not turn the computer on. I read a book, I did things around the house that I've been meaning to do, I played other, I played video games. It was, it was actually kind of nice to not have that time suck of the computer. - Do you know what? And you might not be aware of this, but you don't have to spend that much time on your computer. - You think. - I know, right? - Shocking. - No. - How else am I going to get porn? There's no other way. - Well, you do have Bobaloo. - You have a husband. - Thank you. - Well, that's true. - Strip him naked and make him do dances. - I don't have to. - I'm gonna say please, you don't have to have that happen. - I was gonna say make him do dances, that's ridiculous. If I sat here long enough, I could look out in my back door to where he lets out the dog. He'll stay, he'll look in the window and do a dance for me with a shirt up over his head. For no good reason. I'll just look out there and do that. Eh, like a winner. - That should totally be a video podcast. We should just have a day where we create for him that he has to lift a shirt up and do. And then we should videotape him doing it like in Disney World and Epcot and like at Starbucks and all these other places and just put them into a montage. A Bobaloo montage, if you will. - You're right. Instead of like paranormal activity, it'll be like a Bobaloo activity. I assure you, sometimes Bobaloo dancing is paranormal activity. Something possesses his body and causes his body to move that way. We were at Starbucks Friday night and he kept doing this bizarre gyration with his hands trying to get Taylor's attention. I was laughing to the point I couldn't catch my breath. It was just, it was just ridiculous, which is why we love him. - He's gotten very witty over like the last couple of years. - I think he's always been witty. - Really? - I should say it like that. He's always been witty, but he's gotten me with a couple of really good zingers over the last few, over the last few weeks. On Halloween night, we were at Taffy's hanging out and handing out candy and we had dinner and all that sort of stuff. And at one point, I said something snarky to him and he walks past and with that message, he goes, you know who you should have been for Halloween? Helen Keller. (laughing) - Nice. - He's insane. He's put up with me over the course of between being on call and going out multiple times for visits last week and then everything with the computer. - Not in multiple times, you had 14 calls within 72 hours. - I didn't have more to cut. - I had seven. I had seven on calls, which is a lot for being on call over the weekend. But when you consider the amount of money that I made over the weekend, because we get paid for each visit that we do, whether the family needs it or not, because that apparently was the theme of the weekend where, you know, I live in St. Petersburg and they're saying, oh, we need to go to Tarpon Springs to, you know, to check to make sure somebody's still breathing or something ridiculous like that. And I would drive up there and the family would look at me like, why are you here? Which does wonders for my self-esteem. But then I just keep focusing on the fact that that paycheck is going to be nice and big, which will help out due to the emergency that I had with Rocco yesterday, why to rush him to the emergency vet. So it was just, it was crazy. He got into something and I don't know what it was, but his face ballooned up and he got all red and he was scratching at his face with his dewclaws and I was-- - Was he better than it today though? - He's totally, he's fine. He's actually like, nothing's wrong. He's well enough that as soon as one of us goes to the kitchen, all of a sudden we turn around and he's right there. - Because you know what would make him feel better. - Pie. - Of course. (laughing) I fixed to this yesterday. - The same thing that makes his daddy's feel better. - Yes. - Okay. I didn't say, nevermind. - Pie, you're getting his balls licked. (laughing) - Taylor, if you were a good pet owner, you would lick his balls. - Well, you know, the things we do for love. (laughing) - Like walking in the rain in the sun. (laughing) - Sorry. - She says she wants to break up, then she turns around and makes, is that the-- - She says she wants to break up, and then she turns around and makes up, ooh, I make you love me. - Ooh, la-da-da-da-da-da. - So what I know is screaming at their iPod because we're totally butchering that song. (laughing) - You and I butcher a song, what? You and I not know the words to lyrics? - Oh my gosh. - That's actually unusual. - Ooh, speaking of lyrics, I got the soundtrack to Glee. - Excellent. - I know, it's actually kinda cool. - I bought most of the songs that are on that already individually. Do you enjoy it? - I'm very much enjoying it, yes. - Now there's songs on there that haven't even been on the show yet. - Yeah, and I definitely noticed that. (laughing) I'm like, oh, what episode was this in? So I was just assuming that there are a couple episodes behind because of, you know-- - Well, Terry's. - Baseball. Stupid cup wearing. - Hey, okay, now we've gone to our dirty place apparently. (laughing) - Why do you have to go there? Why do you have to be a bigot? What's up with that? - Big it. - Yeah. - How's that being a bigot? - Because jocular insults are still insults against, you know, a large population. Why are you gonna go there? Jocks never are bigoted toward the gays. (laughing) - Oh, I know, I know, never. - At least not the movies that we watch. (laughing) They embrace the gay community while wearing their jock straps and their catcher's helmets. - Exactly. (laughing) - Hey coach. - Every locker room. (laughing) - Jock straps and catcher's helmets. The titled episode 121. (laughing) - Oh god. - So Taffy, what have you been up to besides handling poor Taylor's crisis and losing your own Mac? - Well, we were very, you know, it's my daughter's senior year, it's all a pop senior year, and homecoming was, you know, one whole week of our life every single night we were at school. And then I write, you know, chair music and crap for stuff. So that was six hours of one night where I had little girls standing over me doing the whole make it louder, make it softer. I want a sound effect there. I don't like that. Okay, get the fuck out. (laughing) Someone's that was over, that was fine. And, you know, just trying to, not think of any grand excitement that's been happening around here, which is kind of nice in a way, because it's been so busy that it's just nice that it's just the status quo type stuff. We didn't get to hang out with, what was bad is I went a week where I saw Taylor every single day, like literally I saw him Saturday, Sunday, Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, and then I did not get to see him at all last week until Friday night. Yeah, it wasn't good. There was a little tear. At one point, like on Wednesday or Thursday, I talked to him on the phone, I'm like, I'm not gonna get to see you all week. And he's like, I know I realized that last night, but I was afraid to tell you, I'm like, this is ridiculous. (laughing) So, poor tank. - Yeah, that was horrible. Shut up. (laughing) - That was bad. - I've been arranged that that will happen more often. Hmm, that's right. - Oh. - Oh please. - Oh please. - Challenge extended, please. - That's right. - So, now we got to hang out with him and Bobaloo on Friday night, and we went to see couples retreat last night, and we went to have Cuban food. And just kind of taking it easy today, I took the girls to see this is it again, even though I've already seen it once. - And what did you think of this as it? - I absolutely 100% firmly believe Michael Jackson is a pedophile, and I will go on record as saying that, but I got to tell ya. As a child of the 80s, the show was really good, plus I craved documentaries, so I enjoy that aspect of it, but once you get past the fact that you're watching a skeleton perform, and that is sometimes, oh no, no, no, and I'm really not being mean, there are times with the lighting on the stage and everything where he is beyond gaunt. I mean, there's not even a word to describe what he looks like until he opens his mouth, and let me tell you something. He still sounds exactly the way he did on the thriller album and everything, and he's still dancing pretty frickin' awesome, and his backup dancers are great. He has a hand in every single thing that went into that show, which as a, someone who understands the need to micromanage, I appreciate, and it's a good documentary for those who are so inclined. The first time I saw it was opening weekend, and Baba Lu and Tank went to see Zombie, Zombieville or Zombie. - Zombieland. - And there was simply no chance I was going to be a part of that, so I said, "Well, go see this, this is it." And I went to see it on the opening Friday night with about 250 black people who all felt that that was church, and it was awesome because they were on their feet, and there was hands in the air, and there was singing and clapping, and it was great. And then tonight, the theater was, I would say, three quarters full. It was still pretty frickin' busy, and everyone was singing and clapping, and they went a good time. I mean, it's good music. I hate to admit that out loud, but it is. It's still-- - Well, it can still be good music, and you can have negative thoughts about-- - Right, and that's what's bad is when you're watching it, you kind of, there's, you know, his voice is really, really still pretty good, but in the back of your mind, you're thinking, "You're a freak, I mean, there's no way you can get past it." Even at one point-- - Well, people think that about us. - Well, exactly, yeah, and they still listen. - That is true, thank you. But there's a couple moments where he just has a pair of Ed Hardy sweatpants and, you know, like a shirt on, and there's a symbolism, normality, and then he'll go into something that's just completely deranged and bizarre, but it's, you know, it's captivating. I, it's very much done in the idea of, like, truth or dare was sort of where, except they don't cut to the live shots because there was no live shots. It's all just the rehearsal. A lot of the behind the scenes stuff, but it was, it was a good documentary. I recommend it for anyone who kind of likes that thing. Couples Retreat was great. - Was it? I really was horrible. - Couples Retreat was great. Of course, Tank has one of those laughs when he's in a movie that is very infectious, and he was laughing to the point at one point. I said, "You stop. "You have to quiet down," because it was just like this booming, ridiculous laugh. Vince Vaughn is just ridiculous, and I enjoy him in most of his movies, but no, it was good. It was-- - Oh. - I like Vince Vaughn. I like winning crackers in the next-- - More party. - He eats. He has become the definition of greasy skin mark. - Oh, I didn't say I went to fuck him. I just said I thought it was funny. (laughing) - I just, I just, ugh. - There's no part of me that went to fuck him. Speaking of movies and things I have done, Rodin, you're going to be very proud of me. - I'm I. - Would you like to know what movie I watched? - I would love to know a movie you watched. - Marley and me. - Why would I be proud of you for that? - Because about the death of a dog. I can't watch commercials that have dogs and I'm without crying, get real. - You just spoiled that whole movie for me. - Okay, it was a book that I only talked about it for a year. What are you talking about? (laughing) Okay, well, if I just ruined that for anybody of our listeners, then you people need to read more. - Fuck up. - Okay. (laughing) What did you say? - Nothing. - You're a bad man. - In the beginning when the book first came out, that was well known, that was going to happen. Only you thought that I didn't know that. So you call me one day and go, "I have a book that I think you need to read." And I said, "What's the name of that book?" She said, "Marley and me." - Click. (laughing) - Click. I don't think so. Plus the fact that I actually have a yellow lab, you know, it just makes it worse, but. - Yeah, that I could see. - Jennifer Aniston looks like hell in that movie. I mean, there are-- - Does she look like hell in general? - Well, yeah, but there are times when she can be made to look maybe not as hellish as normal. There were some scenes where I know she's supposed to look pretty bad. She looks like shit in this movie. - It's not good. I can't imagine NHD. It would be frightening. - Which means you'll be watching it when it comes out. - I'll be at your house. - Yeah, exactly. - Let me see. - I, we still haven't watched Sex in the City. I'm afraid to watch Sex in the City. We have it on Blu-ray. I'm scared to death to watch it. - I cannot imagine Sarah Jessica Parker in Blu-ray. Dad, I can't imagine. - Oh, it's, I'm, no, no. - I watched GI Joan Blu-ray this weekend. - I'm so sorry. - I'm sorry. - How was it? - Oh, it, it, you know. - Now did you see it when it came out in the-- - Yes. I came, I saw it in the theaters and I saw it on Blu-ray this weekend with my date. Oh, oh, oh, oh, maybe we'll talk about that in a second. So I would say GI Joe is strangely enough. I think they did so much of a great job on Transformers. Even after watching Revenge of the Fallen for the second time on Blu-ray. 'Cause in the theaters, Revenge of the Fallen was too loud and just, just too much to absorb. But at home on Blu-ray, it's amazing. It's actually really good. - See, I, so I, I agree. I thought the first Transformers were great. I thought in the second Transformers they, everyone talked about the sound and everything in the first one as being such a great, integral part of the movie. And I think they went to the point of ridiculous in the second one of trying to just inundate you with tons of unnecessary visual and it just, it was just too much. I agree with you 100%. It was, that movie was just too much of sensory overload. - You said you liked the fact that there was so much sound. - No, I can't even begin to imagine singing on iMacs. - The sound is a character in the movie. There's no question. - Oh, yeah. - But in the second one, it is, it is visually hard on several, several of the fight scenes to tell which robots are good and which robots are bad because it's just so jumpy, jumpy, jumpy, jumpy, jumpy, robot, robot, robot, robot, robot, becoming this, robot, becoming this. And it's so much sound coming at you. - And in iMacs, it was completely overwhelming. It was still, I mean, it was incredible, but it was overwhelming. I would think that maybe scaled down to a normal-sized television. You know, it might be a little more manageable. - Yeah, it was much more accessible than it was in the theater. So plus the fact that I wasn't really sleepy. But Jaijo is good. It's just, I don't know. It's just not as good as the Transformers movies. So that's all. - Now, can I ask you both a question? I assume that you know the movie Avatar is coming out. - Oh, yes. - Have you seen the extended trailer for it? - Yes. - I hadn't seen it 'til tonight when we went to see this is it. I normally would not go for that type of movie. This movie looks amazing. It looks incredible. - Yeah, they're definitely, and even on Transformers and Jaijo, there's points where yes, you know there's CG, and then there's points where you're not quite sure. And with Avatar, it's like, you know it's CG, and yet... - It's amazing. - You're okay with it. - Yeah. - There's just something that just makes it okay. I'm just like... - Why have they been talking about this movie for as long as they have? - Yeah. - Well, it's one of the next really big movie that James Cameron's done since Titanic, isn't it? - Well, it's because they're premiering a ton of new technology in it. - Is that what it is? - And they developed a whole new 3D camera for it. - Yeah. - The whole process of doing the motion capture and stuff is all brand new. - Yeah, isn't the 3D camera, the 3D camera actually does the super, it super imposes the CGI image onto the 3D camera to make it look where it makes the CGI look completely three-dimensional, 360 degrees, isn't it? They were explaining it during the thing, and I was like, it is incredible when you watch it. - Yeah. I mean, so that's why it's such a big deal. I mean, I'm hoping it won't become like the next Sky Captain. - Yeah. - Well, you've got, you know, you do this huge technical leap, but yet the movie's not quite where you want it to be. - Well, that's kind of what just watching the trailer, that's kind of what I get from that. As far as the, I don't see, it's, you know, it's looks like every other one of these like sci-fi movies that's out right now with big, huge, you know, robot tanks and weird alien races and lots of explosions. And I don't know, I'm not impressed from the trailer. - Rodeann, have you seen paranormal activity? - Yes. - And what did you think? - Oh, that's right, we didn't get to talk about it, 'cause we didn't actually talk about, we didn't actually meet last week. - So, what did you think? - I, it's a slow burn, right? It's a movie that kind of keeps you going and it's slow burn up to the climax. And yet, I never got bored, it was never too long. And it wasn't too shaky cam. - That's good. - You know, movies like that are too shaky. Like Cloverfield kind of makes you sick in that first 10 minutes. - Blair Witch. - You know, all of a sudden, normal production quality. Same with like District 9. So, this was just, it was well paced. It was like, it was, and we could do the same thing with, you know, we've had video podcasts with the same video quality or better than the movie. - God, I'm sorry. - Yeah, you know, I enjoyed it and I walked out just kind of like, what the fuck just happened? - Was it scary? - So. - Oh, so you haven't seen it? - Hell no. - I don't wish. - Oh, it's not scary. It's, it's suspenseful. And then the end, the kind of the reveal is just, it's freaky and it's only slightly expected because they only gave like two or three hints through the whole movie. This is really how it could end. - Yeah. - It was, it ends that way. It's like, oh, oh, oh shit, oh shit. You just kind of feel bad. It's like, you got to know these characters as, you know, over the course of the two hours, and you just kind of expected them to be okay when everything was said and done after a few scares. And then when. - Things go horribly wrong. - Yeah, it goes, yeah, it's just, Taylor, you would not be able to sleep. - Yeah. - And it's not scary, scary, it's just, you won't be able to sleep afterwards. - Well, and that's, that's. - Yeah, especially, Taylor especially, there's no way, no way. And because he'd be fine, the whole movie until the end, and then he'd be fucked up just sitting there. Just sitting there. - Well that was Blair Witch. He said he was fine through the whole movie until the last five minutes he wanted to kill himself. - Yeah. - Did I just hear change, traveling or something like that? Someone just dropped their pants or. - Rodan's date just got loose. (laughing) - Okay, when you shackle them, you need to put the quilted chain cover over that. A, it prevents burns and risks and risks, you know, gouges, and B, there's the sense of, you know, quiet and secretive. - Okay, do you know far too much about that? - Tank just said, and Tank just said less chafing. - Thank you for that. (laughing) - They still chain covered. You can buy chain covers from Ballard Designs, get real, at least they're pretty. You can get like, you know, paisley ones or. - Wow, I think we just got a bit of an insight into Taffy. - Please, like that's a big shock. Get real. (laughing) - Did you get a story? - Rodan, did you get rid of the story of when the widow Carlisle came to our house when we lived in Texas. We'd only been married for a couple months. You never heard this story? - I don't think so. - Well this is one of those insight into the world of Taffy and Tank, which I know that Taylor has already heard this, but that's right. So my mother comes to visit us. We've been married for about two, three months, and she comes out to Texas and she's gonna see our, you know, we had a town house out there. She comes in to see our house and she's gonna be there for the weekend. Everything's fine and great. The morning after she arrives there, Tank has physical training at like six o'clock in the morning, so I would get up with him and he would leave and then I'd go back to bed. Well this particular morning, I was awake, so I started making my bed as my mother woke up and she's kind of standing in the doorway talking to me and we had a platform bed and I kind of lift up the mattress to, you know, change the sheet and she goes, "What was that?" And I said, "What?" And she goes, "The yellow thing underneath your bed "and the look on my face apparently was one of, "Oh shit." Now you have to remember, we'd only been married for a few months and she was like, "Lift up the mattress." And I'm like, "Well wait, just lift up the mattress." So I lifted it up and there were four, what kind of rope is it, toe rope? It's a kind of rope that they used to toe helicopters down a flight line. There were four of them, one tied on each corner in hangman's nooses to the more you struggled the tighter they got. Yeah, that took a little explaining and not in the good way when she was like, "Why are they tied in hangman's nooses?" And I'm like, "Well because that way, you know, "when you try to pull against it, it gets tighter." And then the more I'm talking, I'm thinking, "I cannot get out of this. "There's no, oh my dear God, this backpack is not, "you know, the parachute is an absack type thing." Yeah, I was going down in flames. But yes, that's, so, sorry. There's absolutely no point to that conversation except for the fact we were talking about bondage, that's pretty much it. (laughing) - Nice. - Sorry. Shut up. Take some fun at me. - I'm gonna hear railroad dance date. Speaking of bondage. - Oh wow, you did hear about that. - I did, let's hear it. Actually you never got, the last time we all did a show, you said you had a story that you never got to. - Oh yeah, that's, yeah. - It involved some sense of kink or something like that. - Oh. - Oh yeah, that was the guy who wanted to be my house boy. And just wanted to cook me when I went to, I was traveling recently and I went out to a local bar to the, you know, where I was traveling to. And I met, this is actually not my date but it's kind of an interesting story anyways. But the, yeah, I talked to a guy online for a couple of days and I decided to go out to where they were. And so I went out there, went out to the bar, met them out. And this guy and his friends, you were watching this drag show in a saloon in a gay saloon. - Did a fight break out where everybody was throwing tables over each other's heads. - I give you, it was a gay saloon called Side Kicks or something. So anyways, so we, so I'm in this gay saloon and it had like liquor bust. So $7 all you could drink, but it ended at 11 o'clock and I got there at 10.30 and I managed to have like three doubles. - $7 for all you could drink. Taylor and I are totally coming out there one weekend. That would be the video podcast into all the video podcasts. Are you kidding me? - Yeah. I know, right? And so they're having a drag show. And so all these guys were like watching the drag show or whatnot. And so I meet these, you know, meet, what the hell, John and his friends, actually his real name is John. So John and his friends. And before I know it, Lance, one of his friends-- - Bass? - You know, he's talking. - Damn it, damn it. - What? - Nothing. - We share our brain, never mind, go ahead. - Oh. (laughs) Lance, whose online name is like Lance Boss or some shit like that. Just like, what? But anyways, like talks John into going outside to have a cigarette or whatnot. And so there's Lance kind of standing there looking at me and talking to me. And before I know it, he's got his hand on my belt, whips off my belt and my pulls my pants to my knees. And so him and his two fag hags, I know I'm not supposed to say that word anymore, but are groping me. Like, fill up my ass and plan with my-- - Balls. - Cock. (laughs) That's like what I'm just gonna say, whatever. - In the bar? - In the bar. - Were your pants down around your ankles in the bar? - He just said that. - In the bar in the middle of the bar. (gasps) I look up and the drag queens got me in her sights. And I'm like, oh fuck. So-- - You were so happy. - I'm just like scrambling to get my pants above my waist. And-- - We're changing the name. - We are changing the name of the podcast. The Real Housewives of Quachita Parish. (laughs) - Yeah, Oachita. - Is that what you're saying? - Oachita. - I might as well say that. - It's Oachita. - Yeah, it's Oachita. - For God's sake, so. Okay. - Oachita. - Oachita. - Oachita. - Which is how much people say it. So yeah, I'm freaking out, right? And so these guys are like rubbing up on me and stuff. And the drag queen comes up eventually, but, and the fag hags are rubbing up against me. And I'm like, dude, what the hell's going on? And so John comes back in and we're all talking. And everyone acts like nothing happened. Everyone's acting like nothing happened. - Well, because to them, that's just a typical Tuesday. - Exactly. It was bizarre. And then eventually, like one of the other friends talks to the talks John into going outside again. And they're doing it again, just all rubbing up against me all. I'm just like, what the hell? - Now, when you say rubbing up against you, do you mean they're blowing you? Or do you mean they're just rubbing up against you with your pants down? - No, I mean they're rubbing up against me. They're putting their hands on my pants trying to, you know, they're unzipping my zipper, putting their hands in. - Okay. - That's weird. - That's gonna say. - I know. And, you know, and I'm just kind of standing there. And I'm not really fighting them off, and I'm not really encouraging them. I'm just kind of standing there. And it was just... - I'm just picturing you standing there. In the middle of this bar, just kind of staying there, kind of just like not moving and just like, letting them do whatever they want to, do you? Like you're... - Yeah. - You're Jody Foster. - Yeah, it was a bizarre, bizarre experience. - Which is why you went back the next night. With sweat pants on? - No, I went back a couple nights later. I didn't go back to that same bar. I went to another bar a couple nights later. Actually, it was kind of a fancy swanky bar, which was completely different than the saloon, believe me. - They wore chaps there. It was fancy. - Yeah, they wore chaps, exactly. And this was a nice bar, but of course on my way home, I only got blown in the car ride back to drop John off. So it was the time away was good to me. - Well, it sounds like it. - Now, was this an Orlando? Or was this... - No, I... - Did you get to that saying where it is? - Did you have a little love in Orlando? Or no? Or can you not have to say that? Or should you cut that out? - No, I mean, it was not there for that kind of stuff. So I went to Orlando last week and I saw, I went to sluice, actually. - Oh, you did? - And I did not see... I know, I did not see the Cucass Boys, but I did see actor Schmacher, Kevin. - Oh, cool. - I know. He was dressed up as a woman. - Shocking. - I think that's kind of par for the corset sluice. They all take their turns doing that. - Yeah, so he was amazing. He stole the show. He was funny as all else. So you haven't been out to sluice, which I'm sure everybody has, but if you haven't, you need to go, 'cause it's just amazing. - Excellent. - I've never been to sluice. - And I guessed right. I guessed the murder-esque correctly. - Murder-esque. - And I just finished my second date. - Tonight. - With someone. - Their second date today? - Earlier today, earlier today. But it was a two-day date. - Do you have them on a revolving door? - No. I had a date with him on Halloween. He came over. He ditched a costume party he was supposed to go to, and he came over for a date, an impromptu date with me last week, which is when we saw a paranormal activity. - Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. When he comes to your date, was he dressed up in a costume? - No, he brought a costume with him. He was going to be sexy pirate, apparently. And let me just say-- - There's so many things I want to make. - Damn, he is sexy. He is, I'm trying to figure out the best way I've described him. He's kind of like a nerdy muscle, you know, kind of like a bodybuilder. So, but very, very nerdy. Like, gloves while I was playing Fallout 3, pretty much as we speak. - I think Tank is probably doing that right now too. - Yeah. - No, he's, what are you playing with with him? - And Fallout 3. - Fallout 3. Oh, well, that would be exactly why Rodin just said, well, good. Sorry. - That's what I just said. So, wait a second. He's muscular and plays Fallout 3. - Yeah. - And Tappy didn't you say Tank was out of town last weekend? - No. - Did Rodin blow you last weekend? - No, yeah. He just went, no. - Could Rodin blow you next weekend? - Right, yeah. So, this guy is just, he's cute. He's just all built up and everything. He's just, he, but he's just an amazing nice person. So, we've been talking about the course of the last week. And so, he came over for a two night date, which was very nice, so. - And we're being very good. Like, there's been no sex that's happened either. - You're being very chaste? - I know. So, we'll see how that, this goes. But, so far, his nickname is Wolfie because he's a little on the hairy side. - So, he's muscular, plays Fallout 3, and is on the hairy side. You did date Tank. (laughing) - Tank isn't that hairy. It doesn't, he doesn't have like, you know. - How hairy is he? Like, does he have like a, like a vest or is he? - No, no, no. I mean, he's, he's like shaved, but he was all prickly this weekend. So, just knowing how prickly he was, he has the opportunity to be very, very hairy. - All right, and the, and the $64,000 question is, how old is he? - 36. - Look at you. - Oh, wow. - I know. - Do you help him with his walker? - Oh. - Do you, do you strain his vegetables for him? You know, and like, over cook them? - No, but. - It's not that old. He's not 40 or anything. - Wow, that is true. - How old are you gonna be this year, Taffy? - I'm gonna be 40 and proud of it. Thank you very much. - There you go. I've read two books over the course of like, the last two weeks. - Really? - Yeah, both, both were eventually made into movies. One was horrible, one was excellent. - And they were. - The, the first book I read was Sex in the City. - Sorry. - Based on the original, you know, the original book that the TV show is eventually based on. It was pretty much 200 pages of toilet paper. And then I read Julian Julia, which was awesome. It was a very good book. I really, really enjoyed it. And now I'm glad that I read the book before I saw the movie. So, because I didn't have Meryl Streep and Amy Adams in my head, like I would have had I seen it first. Like, so for like Sex in the City, I was just picturing, like anytime they talked about Carrie and Mr. Big, I was picturing Chris Noth and Sarah Jessica Parker. - That makes sense. - And the other characters are really not in the original Sex in the City book very much. Like, Charlotte's in it for like the first three pages and that's it. And I think Miranda has like one paragraph and then Samantha's in it like three or four times, like very short bursts. But it was, it just was, it was not good. Like, I can't. And, and it was, I was a gift. And I appreciate that it was a gift, but it just was not, it was just not a good book. So. - Sarah, Julia and Julia from you. - I will, I'm sure I will see you sometime in the next 48 hours. I may see you for Starbucks after this. So, in which case then I'll bring it to you. - Exactly. - Oh, did I tell you guys that I have decided I may spend a holiday with you guys? - Really? - Which is funny? - Yes. - Which holiday? - Black Friday. (gasps) - Really? Like, wait, what? - I'm gonna be home for Thanksgiving. - Right, we knew that. - And so I'm wondering, I was wondering if maybe I could tag along for your annual. - Okay. - You needed to start training back in April for, (laughing) I'm not sure if a novice is really, you know, up to par. But I will tell you that at midnight, we will be at Ellington. And by midnight, I mean, as in, you have eaten Turkey and hello, hello, hello. Thank you for the pie. Get into the car, we're driving to Ellington. And we, we shall. - And that's where I may be actually be a benefit because I don't eat, drink Turkey. I don't eat Turkey. So there's no tryptophan in my system. - Well, I just mean to tell you. - Well, come has the same effect on you though, so. - Damn! - It's protein and protein, let's get real. - But no, yeah, so would you, would you drive over here? - Yeah, that's what I was thinking. - Absolutely, it's funny you should mention that because we were actually talking about making our shopping experience a video podcast this year. - Nice, I kind of figured. So that would be, we would be, I would totally be, I, I, all those in favor say, I. - I. - Okay, you can come shopping with us. - Thanks. - But you need to understand that you do assume a role when you're shopping with me as. - Shelf, same role I take when I shop with Taylor. (laughing) - The role you will take will be that of the official bag holder. - Yeah. - Okay, as long as you're aware of this. And I appreciate it. - That's pretty much what Taylor does to me. - Yeah, pretty much if you want to come shopping with us, you are our Black Friday bitch. - You're the Black Friday bitch. That's, thank you. That's, we're gonna get him a shirt made that says Black Friday bitch. (laughing) - The Black Friday bitch, the other titled episode 121. - Nice. - Yes. - That would be awesome. Wait, you mean we're actually going to do a podcast with the three of us in the same room? - What? - Impossible, it will never happen. - Never happen. - We'll have technical glitches again. (laughing) - Yeah, right. - That'd be incredible. - No, that's, that's exciting. So you're gonna ditch your family on Thanksgiving to drive down here? - Well, I'm gonna, they always do Thanksgiving early and then I'm bored with them. So I figure I'll leave after that. - Okay. You know that I will be in Orlando Tuesday, Wednesday and Thanksgiving morning. - Really? - Yes. - I'll be up there in Orlando Sunday, Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday. - I will be there because Lollipop and a little Stuffington are performing in the Walt Disney World Thanksgiving parade. - Yeah, we talked about this on the last episode. - Yeah. - We did four months ago. - Exactly. So yes, I will be up there so you'll have to call me. And then, you know-- - Cool. - We can talk about Taylor when he's not there. I'm just kidding. I love you. - Yay! Yeah, whatever. (laughing) - And I'll probably be up at Disney World Thanksgiving morning, possibly with the widow Carlisle in tow. - God help us out. - Oh wow. - God help us out. - I was volunteered for that job without my knowledge. - No, that is not true. I said that you may, I said Taylor may be able to bring you but I will have to ask him. I did not speak for you. - Okay, but you pretty much then said I love you. I may have done something you're not going to like. And then when I said what, I may have volunteered you to take my mother up to Disney World. - Aw. - But you know, again, a little bit of ethanol in a rag over the mouth. Good to go. (laughing) - Okay, so now we're talking about, you know, asphyxiation and bondage. - Well, you know, good word. - Yeah. - That sounds like a normal Saturday night in the-- - No, there is no-- - Latte household. - The Latte house? Does Babalou perform esis ghe shan you while giving you oral pleasure? Please see us. - Only when sitting on my face. (laughing) 'Cause those balls are pretty big to TV. - Those balls are made for walking and that's just what they'll do. (laughing) - If he's walking on his balls, then he's-- - God bless them. He's not drum. Good Lord. - Hmm. - Okay. (laughing) - And on that note, exactly. - All right, well, we're gonna keep this one short just in case there are technical glitches because, you know, given our pattern over the last couple of weeks, I don't wanna be editing for four hours. So we're gonna do a short show this week and then we're going to lull ourselves into a false sense of security over the next six or seven weeks getting back to a regular time and then which case then the bottle will fall out from underneath us. Because, you know, pessimism, hurrah. (laughing) Look for our video shopping experience with Taffy, Rodan, and Taylor coming soon to an iPod near you. - Well, hopefully we'll have other episodes before that one. - Oh, regular audio episodes. - Could we not have a trailer? (laughing) They start talking about movies weeks, months before the actual movie. This could be our trailer. I am nothing if not a marketing analyst, hello. - Can we use the camera from Avatar? (laughing) Do you really want this stuff in 3D? - Right, and light blue with big ears flying through the jungle. - Are we gonna wear matching shirts like those people we make fun of where they have like the Christmas Hawaiian sign so we can sign. (laughing) - If you wanna get that far involved, that's, see now you've given her a project. Thank you, Rodan. What would have been normal. Now you realize about four o'clock when you let out the first whimper, she will slap you, it doesn't matter where she is. (laughing) - Okay, you need to, there's actual rules involved with Black Friday. First and foremost is no whining and you get a one more rhyme rule. Now, if you are done, you can say, okay, I'm done. But the whining, there's no, there's no, I just, no, no. We shop for at least 15 hours and then, then usually Taylor gives me the look up. I'm done, take me home. (laughing) - Last time it wasn't a look, it was just a hand around the throat. (laughing) - Actually, I think what he said last time was, you do realize that you are in a wheelchair. Do you really wanna piss me off? But I was like, I love you. (laughing) Okay, I'll be good, I promise. So, well, I'm excited. No, we will have matching shirts. Rodana has already established what his shirt will say. So. - I don't remember what my shirt's gonna say. - Black Friday, bitch. (laughing) - Oh yeah, it's right. - What should, we should have a contest. What should Taylor and Taffy's Black Friday shirt say? - Sadist and masochist. Real. (laughing) - Slave and master. (laughing) - Master, yeah. - Mistress and boy. - Mistress and boy, that's great. - Who would wear a white? - Actually, no, we should just have hats that say top and bottom on 'em. - But again, who would wear white? - Yeah, right. No, I think we all know who would wear white. - Yeah, exactly. - Amen. - Taylor's the bottom here. - Yeah, sure. - All right, as always, you can go to our blog, which is bodismicopilot.com. You can email us at bodismicopilot@gmail.com. Join our Facebook group, I almost did the listener line, but we don't have it anymore. Join our listener group on Facebook at okay, so I love bodismicopilot. And that's pretty much it. I guess we're wrapping it up. - I think you are. - All right, well, hopefully, we will be back next week with 122. I'm not promising anything at this point, but we're gonna do our best. - We'll do our best for our listeners. That's all we can do. - Yes, yeah. - We know you can be. - There you go. All right, guys, thank you very much. We'll see you next week. This is Taylor. - Fantastic. - Henry Dan. - Have a good week, everybody. Bye-bye. - Bye-bye. - Ta. (upbeat music) - You've been listening to "Pod Is My Co-Pilot" with Taylor the Latte boy, Taffy Carlisle Huffington, and Ro Dan. Aren't they just a little slice of wonderful? See you next time. (upbeat music) (upbeat music) (upbeat music) [MUSIC PLAYING]