Pod Is My Copilot
PiMC: Episode 119 - What Up, White Devil?, or Giraffe Juice
The gang's all back together - Rodan's workin' for the weekend, Taffy drops a bombsell from her past, and Taylor is on the run with the Huffington children in tow. And we say goodbye to a integral part of the show...kinda....We are Pod Is My Copilot.
Interpret Taylor's dream on podismycopilot.com. Leave us a comment on the blog!
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(upbeat music) - Visit Rodan's newest websites, stopthebrockleycrunch.com at eminottersjuckbandorgi.com. You're listening to Pot As My Co-Pilot with Taylor the Latte Boy, Taffy Carlisle Huffington, and Rodan. Take it away, kids. - Hey everybody, this is Taylor the Latte Boy and you just downloaded episode 119 of Pot As My Co-Pilot. Take two. - Yay! - Yay! I am joined as always by Taffy Carlisle Huffington. - Hello lovers. - And Rodan. - I'm taking tomorrow off. - Good for you. - Excellent. Before we get started, I want to say that we have a new record tonight, on Pot As My Co-Pilot, that we have a title for an episode before the show even started. - Oh, well, all right then. - Rodan greeted me tonight on Skype with the phrase, "What up, white devil?" And I see that you spit water all over my keyboard. So that's going to be one of the titles of the episodes tonight. - What up, white devil? - What up, white devil. So why are you taking tomorrow off? Which is unusual for you because, you know, work is your life force, so. - Well, I've not taken a day off since our gay days trip. - Jesus. - Yeah. And if you remember me at the gay days trip, it was pretty much, you know, I landed. You guys picked me up. I was crazy. And it was like nonstop the whole time, you know, gay days and so I never got a day to relax and it's been 50, 60, 70 hour weeks ever since, so. - So you're just going to take a couple days to do nothing. Just sit in your underwear, lay around and enjoy your life. - Yeah. - Do you think you'll be able to watch every episode of that girl over the course of the weekend? (laughing) - I think Professor Dr. Scott and I may go to Shreveport tomorrow night to gamble some money away. - Well, that could be fun. - Yeah, that's what I was thinking. - Nessa would love to come to that. Nessa seems to like the casinos. So she would join you in the street for it. - Well, yeah, all the casinos here are on the river, on the boats. - It's just around the river bend? You go once more just around the river bend. - Thank you, Pokey, Pocahontas. - Yeah, Pokey's what you call your cock, so please don't call me Pokey. (laughing) - That is true. - How can you make a Disney reference about his dick? That's something sacrilegious, I'm not sure. - No, I don't call my dick Pocahontas, I call Pokey. - We call your vagina Space Mountain, so I don't see what the problem is. (laughing) - Well, we call your dick, it's a small world, so that's fine. (laughing) - Oh, wow, that's good. - Thank you, thank you, I'm your only. - Tuesday, well played. A tip of the hat to you. - Why thanks, and a tip of the hat to you as well. So, what are you all up to, besides taking days off? - I would love to take a day off, work has been absolutely crazy for me. People die and left and right, when they're not dying, they're not dying fast enough. - That should be your new motto for your office. Death never takes a vacation. (laughing) - Death doesn't take a vacation, we're only allowed three days off, we're allowed off as many days as we want, but the office is only closed on Thanksgiving, Christmas, and New Year's Day. It's open every other day of the year. - But doesn't a lot of, I mean, I hate to be morbid on comedy podcasts, but you have said before that holidays is when most people die, I mean. - Well, what happens is the week's proceeding, they start dropping like flies, it's amazing, and then like the week of Christmas, or whatever holiday you choose to celebrate, it, things get very, very quiet, and then right after the holidays, they start, it's, you know. - Is that that whole, you know, grandma held on 'til Christmas type thing? - It can be, I have spent a Christmas morning looking at a dead woman. I was on call one year and got a call at like seven o'clock in the morning that a patient died, and went over and supported the family, and you know, there were kids there at the time, and they were all saying, you know, is it okay if we open our presents? And the family said, well, the final home will be here for another, it won't be here for another hour, it'll give you something to do, so they opened their presents while the dead woman sat in the bed in the living room. - That's strong, that's bad. - Yeah, so for anybody who wonders why I am the way I am, replay that picture in your head. (laughing) - Yeah. - Well, you've had Thanksgiving with dead people before, at the widow Carlisle. - I was gonna say, it's your family. - Looking dead. - The walking dead, the emotionally dead. (sighing) - How is the widow Carlisle? - She's just charming. (laughing) - Well good. - Well good. - So I'm getting ready to get on a plane and fly where it's cold, yay! - Oh my God, enough with the talking about the cold, we get it, you're going up north. - I can't wait, I'm sorry. Rodin, you have no idea how hot it's been here this week. It is the fucking first week of October, and the high yesterday was 93. It's riddick and it's humid and sticky and gross. It's just, it's awful. - Well here in the Munro, it goes from beautiful 70 and, you know, not a drop of moisture in the sky to pouring raining, and then 90 and humid, like every couple of hours. - Ew. - So yay! (laughing) - Yay humidity! - I just want it to rain. I want it to rain. I want a cold front to come through all day Saturday, so that that way Sunday is perfect and lovely. - Why does Sunday need to be perfect and lovely? - Because I am taking the Huffington children to Epcot. - Oh wow! - This is kind of a big deal. This is actually a really big deal. This is the first time that I'm crossing state lines with minors, where the apparent is not involved. - This is true. - So I'm-- - You're crossing state lines? - Yeah, well we have, are not county lines. Fuck. - Okay, I screwed that up. - God damn it. - I'm gonna say you are. (laughing) - I mean-- - Whoops. - No, well by Epcot, I of course mean, you know, we all have passports now, so we're going to Rome. (laughing) It's Taylor's adventures in babysitting. (laughing) - Yeah. - To which Lollipop proceeded to tell her grandmother last night, you know, tomorrow night they're staying, or Tank's mother's coming down here, and then Saturday they're staying with my mom, and then Sunday they're gonna be with Taylor and Babaloo, and Lollipop proceeds to tell my mother last night, oh my God, after two nights with her grandparents, Sunday is the only light in the weekend that's getting us through the day, and my mother's looking at her like, what, and she's like, oh my God, Sunday, you know, the fact that we're going to Epcot with Taylor and Babaloo. It's the only thing that's gonna help us get through the weekend. (laughing) They're still looking at her like, I hate you. I was like, well, that's charming. They're very excited. They're very excited. - Oh, we're very excited. - I think it's the whole idea of we get to act silly, and we get to be grown up sort of, and we're going to have, and now your guys are gonna have your own set of inside jokes and giggly, giggled this. - Absolutely, and we're totally doing the Kim Possible thing. - Isn't Kim Possible even at this point, aren't they like a bit old for that? - No, no, you don't understand, it's the coolest thing ever. - It's pretty cool. - And by coolest thing ever, I mean, that makes me really sad, and you should all cry a little bit for me. It is where you go, and you get like a mobile phone, a Disney mobile phone, and you talk to Kim Possible, and she gives you clues about the different places in the World Showcase that you have to go to solve mysteries. - Oh, I've seen people do that. I was wondering what the fuck that was. - Yeah, we're totally doing it. - It's supposed to be different. They have like 25 different missions, so they're never the same thing. - Right, so by doing it once, I mean, we'll do it seven times. Till Lollipop takes the phone and throws it into the lagoon. - No, I think it takes like three hours to do it. - No, it takes about a half an hour. I did, I asked about that. - Oh, I was gonna say, 'cause I thought it was longer than that. Well, you know what? That might be-- - Yeah, eventually, a little helpington, well, y'all fuck this noise, I'm going to Norway. (laughing) - Where's the margarita stand? (laughing) Where's Kevin B? - Can we get our margarita? Can I get the little something to margarita? - Okay, you are a children's counselor. (laughing) - In Louisiana, you could, and it would be legal. - Really? - Yeah. As long as the parents are with you, you can buy your children alcohol. - Really? - What? - Really? In restaurants. - Prohibition, hurrah. - I know. - That's awesome. - Okay, that makes no sense. - It did in my brain, I don't know. It's been a long week. - Wow. - That's kind of cool in a way. Well, they both have had alcohol before. They're a fifth birthday, no. (laughing) No, you know, we were in France for Christ's sake, so they had to have champagne, and we let 'em taste that kind of stuff. We went to Germany, we went to a winery, and they were a lot of, I mean, they tasted it before. It's not that big of a deal. - And in Germany, it was Yeagermeister. - Yeah, it was actually a lot of Yeagermeister. You're absolutely right, and they tasted gluvine, and that kind of stuff, so. - Glu, what? - Gluvine is hot mead, and let me tell you something. You need to put Bob-a-lu on some mead, because Gluvine is a hot alcohol, and you drink it when it's super, super cold outside, and it's a sipping drink, kind of like a hot toddy type of thing, except for the fact that it's about the color of tar, and it's about as thick as Elmer's glue. And let me tell you- - And it tastes like urine? - No, it tastes like liquid licorice. - Oh, I was about to say, if it tastes like, that's maybe why I was trying to get you to have Bob-a-lu taste it. - Yeah, it tastes like liquid licorice, and for people who like it, there's no substitute. In fact, you can buy a cup, that's a little, in fact, we have it in our house, a little brown cup, and you can walk from market stand to market stand, and get your refills, and that's about how long it takes you to drink, because the cup was only like four ounces, but by the time you get from one end of the block to the next end of the block, and you can have it refilled, there's a whole lot of drunk people walking around, you're gonna be having a day, something. - Nice. - Yeah, it's bad. - Well, since they lost the war, I mean, what else do they have to do? - Well, that's true. - Other than you know, welcome to our concentration camp. Try our gift shop. (laughing) - We have, you know, ashtrays and lambshades. - Wow, wow. We have lambshades, the other titled episode 119. (laughing) - And no, you're not doing the cover art for that. (laughing) - Yes. - I'm going to do the cover art, it's gonna be a white devil. (laughing) It's going to be Michael Jackson. (laughing) - Oh, wow. Wow. Wow, we're getting really offensive, really often, suddenly. - I think we've become more offensive over, like for a while there, we were just like really dirty for a while, and I think now we're getting just really where we're getting openly. - Ricky would be so proud. (laughing) - Ricky would be bad. Well, because Ricky knows how to juggle the offensive and the dirty. His name is Julian. (laughing) (laughing) - That's right, I set him up, you knock him out. - That's right, baby, that's right. (laughing) - We enjoy, the latest title to their latest episode is "You Couldn't Get Any Cock If You Were A Truck Stop Glory Hole." (laughing) - Okay. - I laughed when that came up. That was the funniest thing ever. - A truck stopped Glory Hole. - I believe that was John Goodman's Indian name for a while. (laughing) - Ow, truck stopped Glory Hole. (laughing) - Nice. - Nice. - I thought hers was menstruating bear. (laughing) - I thought that was yours. - It was his princess pounding bear. (laughing) - That's right. - Yes, mine is princess pouting bear. (laughing) - That's true. (laughing) - I don't know what mine was. I'm sure somebody does. - Trust me. - That could be a contest. What is Taffy Carlisle Huffington's Indian name? (laughing) - I don't know. - Rocks out, rocks out with her cocks out. (laughing) - Oh please. (laughing) - Please. - I don't know what my Indian name would be. - Princess Chick with dick. (laughing) - Princess Chick with dick. Okay, so I did something that had a little bit of culture in it here in Monroe. - What? - Is double anal really count as culture. (laughing) Just because they do it, just because they do it in all the European pornos doesn't make it culture. I'm just gonna say, it was the culture underneath the uncut. No. (laughing) - That's called Spagma. (laughing) - Spagma. (singing) - Well, remember in 118 I talked about how I was gonna go do this gallery crawl thing. - Right. - So last week I did it. - Yay. - I actually went out and Professor Dr. Scott and I went and walked around downtown Monroe and they're like seven galleries that are open and you just kind of walk through them and you look at the art and admire how much it costs for someone to paper mache a magazine to a globe. (laughing) - God. - You know, and create Ikea wooden shelves, you know, in a corner and charge $4,000 for them. So, you know, it was a lot of fun because they had free beer and free wine at all the galleries. So it was pretty much just wandering around and talking to the who's who in the gay's gay of Monroe. So, it was a lot of fun and it kind of, downtown is actually a lot cuter and nicer than I would have ever thought. - We would know you still haven't done the video podcast. - I know, I know. But I kind of thought that downtown Monroe was like a lot like, you know, you know, like the outside city of like Maxhedrum or the losers or something and it would just be insanity. So. - An urban wasteland. - Yes. - It would look like every bad rap video from the 1980s. - Yes. - Because love is a battlefield. - That's what Rodin had on the other night. (laughing) - Poor Batman entire. - Yeah. But I ran into the Greek while I was in a... - A girl. - A girl. And how did that go? - That was exceptionally awkward. (laughing) - Well. - So I ran into him and then he started introducing me to people as essentially the guy who broke his heart. - Well, good. - Well, how long did you walk around with him and tolerate this? - Well, I didn't. I mean, for us, a doctor has gotten our wand and round and you know, there's only so many places to go to and we ran them a couple times. And each time he introduced me to someone new and he pretty much introduced me. Hey, here's Rodin. He's the one who... (imitating swooshing) (laughing) And then just the girl or the guy would look at me, shake my hand and be like, it's so nice to meet you. - That's when you come up with a line like, well, you know, we had to break up, you know, due to the fact that he's impotent and walk away. I mean, you know, that's when you just come up with something and say... - He's a bond. Who the hell cares if he's impotent? (laughing) I mean... - Wow. - Oh. - He has anal fissures. That's why we had to, you know, break up something. - It's so good to see you again, Greek. You left your topical sad at my house. You might want to come by and pick that up. (laughing) - Yeah, so after we, you know, finally powered ways with him completely, he texts me and said, I couldn't make it more awkward in that. Hopefully someday I'll get over my sexual compulsion and I'll be able to be with him. - Oh, well, when you have an open invitation like that, - Yes. - Do you want to be with him? - No. - No, and certainly not after the 3.30 AM call I received on Saturday from him, yelling at me for everything I said on episode 118. (laughing) - Which means that he's probably listening right now. - I know, and so our conversation at 3.30 in the morning ended around 4.30 in the morning, with me saying, just stay out of my life, to which then today, as I posted on Facebook and my space and stuff, that I had a date last night, which went very, very well. - Like a date date or like a don't come on my face late? Okay. (laughing) - Did you say don't come on my face late? - Don't come on my face date. Yeah, sorry. - No, I just said don't come on my face late. Like I have a 12.30 meeting, so don't come on my face late. (laughing) - I'll say that too. - Yeah, so, which to which he texted me first thing this morning, saying, how was your date? You know, and so I got a bunch of bitchy comments from him the rest of the day. - Well, hopefully your response was, it's none of your business, because you'd already explained to him that you didn't want to have him in your life. - Yes, that was one of my responses. - Wait, that was one of your responses. How many responses did you make before you made that one? - Only two, I just, I tried to blow it off as being a, I had a great time, thanks, how are you doing? And that's, I just-- - This might be somebody that you need to block. - Yes, I'm realizing that, unfortunately. And it sucks, because I feel bags, I feel like I didn't treat him the best I possibly could have when we were dating, but it is what it is. Things are over. - Well, and that's ultimately you are teaching him that, you know, the whole game playing and the drama inducing and everything needs to stop. You're an ambassador to the senior community, so I think that you need to swing him back. These things just don't really work anymore for somebody of your, you know, advanced age. - Well, that is true. Rudian, what is your, Rudian, what month is your birthday in? - December, same as Taylor's. - This birthday six days after mine. 'Cause your birthdays are exactly six months apart. - That's right, that's correct. - Oh yeah, I forgot about that. - Yeah. - Oh, look at us. I'm thinking about this now, hmm, it's very interesting. Interesting. - Why? - No, it's just interesting, no reason in particular. - Oh god, she's scheming, that's never good. - Yeah, right. - I've heard that, I've heard that lilting her voice before. I ended up with a leather mask on the back of a plane headed to Paraguay, it's very good. - Film at 11, that's gonna be our first video podcast. No, no, I was just thinking that, you know, at some point, Taylor and I really need to come visit Rudian. - Oh yeah. - If anything, just for the freak factor. - Well, I can assure you though, we pretty much aren't allowed in Pinellas County because we've seen it all. I mean, we have made fun of more people in Pinellas County than I think that actually live here. So we need to broaden our horizon, and at some point we're going to have to come to the Monroe. And I was thinking that your birthday would be a great time, but that's too close to Christmas, so that won't work for us. You need to move your birthday, that's not fitting into our schedule. (laughing) - I'll forklift it somewhere else. - Just make up another date for your birthday, Babaloo did that for our anniversary. - Oh. - Oh. - I love you baby. (laughing) - Speaking of-- - You guys celebrating your anniversary like three months before you even met. - Yeah. - No, you're not. - I didn't, didn't he just tell you you were together for two years and you were like, we've been together like a year and three months or something like that. (laughing) - No, he said that we were, you know, that we met in March, but because we played the month of, is you, is you, is you, my baby, that's when he decided that, you know, when we finally started going together significantly, that would be our actual anniversary. I choose to say that the date that we met is our anniversary. - No, it's not. - Oh, so you're the crazy one then? - No. - The date we met should be our anniversary. Every other person that I've ever met, the date that we met was our anniversary. - Oh, well. - Now granted every other person that we met, I had sex with on that date, so that's probably why I counted, but we had a lovely evening, the night that we met. - Yeah, so then you'd essentially be broken up for the following month until you actually started really going out together. - He was here every night hanging out with me. He would go out on a date and then come over here. - That's charming. - And no, not to have sex. - That's a little tragic. - I don't know if I draw that. - That's a little tragic. - So your first month was an open relationship. - No. (laughing) - Fuck you. - No, it was just where we were getting to know each other, but we would go out, we would have fun. There was occasionally a little on the side. And then we eventually decided that we were gonna be boyfriends. - Aw. - See, unfortunately, as I'm talking, I hear the two of you talking underneath me, which means somebody's probably saying something really bitchy that I'm gonna listen to when we're editing and then I'm gonna have to kill you. (laughing) - We love you, Taylor. - Okay, which means it was you that was saying the bitchy that I could say one me, it was them. - Oh, I said plenty of bitchy things. I know that. - Speaking of anniversaries, Take Night just had our anniversary yesterday. So happy anniversary. I love you. - Did I read that correctly on the blog, "19 Years"? - "19 Years" we were married in 1990. Yes, sir. - But isn't Lollipop 22? - Shut up. Lollipop is 17, thank you very much. I still have ants, you know, two years later who counted on their fingers, but no, she's 17. Yeah, so yes, 19 years. And if we're, but of course if we're going by, you know, Taylor's version, we've been together for 26 years, but. - Yeah. - If it's from the day it's bad. - Well, there's a difference. There's a difference with the breeders. That's different. - Because you could have a big ceremony and shit. - Yeah, you get to be all happy and where you know. - By the way, by the by, if you go to our blog, you will notice a picture of Tank and I. That picture was taken at our first wedding. - Wait, wait, wait. Do you want to tell this in case this is ever. - I don't care. That's fine. I don't care. I can be sold. And I really don't care. - Okay. - I mean, that's a story that is not actually known by a lot of people, but we got married in July. And then we had a wedding in October. We got married in Texas because we had to apply for married housing because Tank was in the army. And we would have been on a waiting list if we had waited until our actual wedding. And the widow Carlisle does not know that because I had a very, very, very big, very elaborate. I'm sure you can only imagine wedding. And I'm pretty certain that if she ever found out that we were already married when we had the wedding, she probably would have sued me for the amount of the wedding. So we just never, ever told her. His mother knew and she's one of about a handful of people who know, well now, you know, and five of them. - Now there's hundreds of people who know. - Yeah, but none of them, I don't, please don't tell the widow Carlisle if you ever meet her, how's that? But I mean, like my grandmother doesn't know, no one knows. So yes, that's the- - You guys are all bound to secrecy now. - That's right. - All hundreds of you. - You have a taffy secret. - Cross your hearts and hope to die. - That's right. - Cause taffy's gonna come after you. - That's right. - So yep, we did, we did. It was one of those things. And then we got our wedding, we got our marriage license in Texas and we got married in Texas and we immediately applied for married housing. And then when we actually had to get married in Ohio, we had to get an Ohio marriage license because no one knew we were married and we actually stood in front of the court and they said, are you either of you legally married and we're like, no, have you ever been married to one another? And I'm like, is this gonna be legal? You know, I was actually concerned because we had to stand here. - So you actually performed polygamy on each other? - Ah, that's awesome. That's that actually. - So you can add polygamy to the list of devian acts that the two of you have done to one another over the last 19 years. - Oh. - Over the last week, polygamy, sodomy, whatever you wanna call it. (laughing) Tomato, tomato. But no, yeah, that's it. We did have a very big wedding and it was ridiculous and the first one we had, that's a picture of it that's on the block. That was actually at our little, our little in front of the, you know, court of clerks in front of the judge and all of my attendants were in fatigues because we had a bunch of his friends come and they all stood up for him and it was very funny but it was a lot of fun. - Aw. - Okay, now the funny thing is that her mother does not know this, that picture that was on the block is sitting in her foyer when you first walked in. - Is it really? - Yes. So it's one of these where she's constantly dangling that carrot over her mother's head. - No, when my mother asked me once. - Because they had the most twisted mother daughter. I'll always be bigger, I'll always be faster and I'll always win type of relationship that I've ever seen out of a mother and daughter. - But she asked me once why the picture, where was that picture taken? I said in Texas and she goes when and I said, "Would we apply for our marriage license?" So I really didn't lie, I didn't go ahead and say and then 10 minutes later we got married. I just didn't want to apply for our marriage license and that was it. - You're selectively telling the truth though. - Yeah, I figured after 19 years she could take it. Actually after 19 years I can afford to pay her back for the wedding so at this point I really don't care. I would prefer her not to know just because it would be lorded over my head but now what are you gonna do? - A little bit of torture for a couple of laughs on the podcast. - There you go, there you go. - You make the cast of terms of endearment and you look like the cast of Little Women. (laughing) - Okay I don't understand what that means. - Which makes you a bad faggot, bad, bad faggot. - Again, if you had talked about, you know, the Scarecrow and Mrs. King, he would have gotten that one but that's alright. (laughing) - Aw, I don't really, I only barely remember the Scarecrow. Well, they're mine anyway. - Was it Kate Jackson in that show? - Yes, with bad big 80s frosted hair. - Kate Jackson had frosted hair? - She had big frosted hair. - She had big 80s frosted hair. Like it had highlights or whatever. - Oh, didn't we all, didn't we all at one point to have big 80s hair? - With frosting. - You know, Rodin, I seem to recall a Taylor and I posting our graduation pictures of us with big giant embarrassing hair. But yet I don't remember conveniently, you know, all the pictures with your mom's house. We need to see a picture of you from high school, not college, high school. I wanna see some vintage Rodin. - Actually there's some vintage Rodin on my personal, I'll pull it off 'cause there's some vintage Rodin on my personal Facebook. - I'm not talking about vintage Rodin circa. This is what my, you know, junk look like in 1987. I'm talking about that real picture of you. - I think I have actually a picture of that somewhere. But-- - Of course you do. - You have a picture of your junk in 1987, weren't you like 15? - No, no, no, it was like when my high school boyfriend took it, so it was like 16. - Oh, well that makes it completely-- - And then he tried to blackmail me with it when I was like in a senior in high school. Not sure really what he thought he was gonna get by that, but whatever. - A hand job. (laughs) - Yeah, that's probably it. I have another kind of random dating story. Well, it kind of goes back to my date that I had last night. - Yeah, I was getting back to something we talked about a while ago. How did that go? - The date was, actually the date was really good. This guy, whom we call Fisher, 'cause apparently I asked him why his nickname to be and that's what he told me, so that's what we're gonna call him. - So he's the Fisher king? - I saw, hi, I don't know. - You said that joke the other night when we try taping this before. It wasn't funny then, it's not funny now. (laughs) - I think it's 'cause he likes to fish. I'm not really sure. Apparently that was the name he used to give people when he used to go to clubs when he was underage, so I don't realize that's what we're gonna call him, I guess, but we've been talking for about two weeks now since I was on my last business trip. You know, it's been kind of hot and cold. I swear he's reading like the country bottoms in the book of rules. - Okay. - That's a title if ever I heard one. (laughs) - It's like he's all hot and like talking to me all the time and texting me all the time and wonder where I'm at and that kind of stuff, and then he's completely cold. Like, doesn't talk to me for like days. - He's playing hard to get. - He's being aloof. - Yes. - And I'm not very good at that part because-- - No shit. - I'm gonna say really shocking, you're hard at not to get. - Wow. - I mean that I thought he was a little bit more innocent country boy and that he didn't necessarily have a lot of experience with the dating of the men's. So I was kind of put my, what I wanted to do. You know, so I was just very blunt and very open and just kind of very earnest with him. Like, yeah, I wanna date you. And apparently that gave him all the power and so he pretty much lorded that and not lorded, but kind of used that a little bit. And then I realized he's had plenty of dating experience with the men's. It's an interesting kind of dynamic right now, but we seem to like each other and we're having a good time. This is actually the second time I met him. The first time was he did a surprise visit to my house Saturday. He came over, we were supposed to have a date last Friday night and he canceled the last minute because of some family emergency stuff. And you know, I kind of didn't necessarily buy the family emergency thing. And then, you guys still there? I'm not used to being able to talk this long because I can hear Riley say hello. Sorry. So I just don't know what to do. You guys are going to have to be. Good lord. We're trying to be quiet. It's possible. I know you're trying. When you make noises like that, that's why we don't let you talk this long. Well, he, so he canceled. I thought it was kind of a big bogus thing. And so Friday night we talked a long time on the phone and Saturday morning we text back and forth. Next thing I know, I'm gonna call like Saturday afternoon. Like two o'clock. He's like, what road do you live on? I tell him. And he's like, okay, I'll be there in two minutes. Oh dear. And so, me hadn't cleaned yet, just bathed Riley. The house smells like wet dog. I'm all like disheveled mess as compared to bitch watching. (laughs) Ooh! So, girl. Yeah. So. Yeah. (laughs) Girl. Girl. So yeah, so he came over and pretty much inspected my house. Is that what we're calling it? Yeah. Is that like in the jail pornos where like they're first bring them in for inspection and they spread their butt cheeks to make sure they don't have any contraband up there? (laughs) Oh my gosh. Not that I've ever seen one of those. I was gonna say, well that was a voice of experience. Okay, Riley just came up to me, looked at me and just burped. Like full mouth open, like, argh. That's how Babaloo does the tailor too, don't go bad. I know, but it's my dog. It's a sign of affection. Yeah, that's it. It's a sign of love. So I'm, I guess we've had, apparently I didn't count that first. Rondezvous as a date. So I guess this is what I count as my anniversary now if we're together in a year. Him randomly sobbing in my house. Is that how this works, Taylor? Yes. Now who would play him in his movie? I want to know what this boy looks like. You do know what this boy looks like? You see, she sent us pictures. Well, but our listeners didn't get to see them. Dilrod, so maybe they would like a visual. Hello, we have cover art with every episode. (laughs) Okay, we're not using this picture as cover art. I already have the pictures downloaded under my hard drive. I think I could put whatever cover art I want for episode 119. I don't know, what would you guys say he looks like? I would say he looks like a cubish Christopher Atkins. - Oh, Christopher Atkins is very good on that. Yes, that's a very good, an action. - I can see that. - Yeah. 'Cause he has the, you know, the flopsie mopsie hair and he's got the pretty blue eyes. And he's, he's very cute. He's very cute. Now, how old is this one? 14, 13? - 20, 29. - Oh, 29. Yes, I have another 19-year-old who's kind of chasing me a little bit because he likes bigger guys who are more established. - Because he likes big butts and he cannot lie. - You know it, but I'm not pretty much attention to that one. - Big girl, you are beautiful. - He has a soft spot in his heart for the giraffe. (laughs) I love you, Dad, I love you, Dad. (sighs) He's gonna hit me at some point, I know. - Yes, yes. - And so long I have the flip cam going. He can hit you as hard as he'd like. - Whoa, I would never. - Would if I asked nicely. - I may flip your bean, but that's funny. - Oh, wow. - What did you just say? - I believe you heard what he just said. - No, I didn't hear what he said. (laughs) - He said I would flick your bean. - Well, you'll hear it in editing. (laughs) But I can't comment on it if I don't know what it is. - He said I might flick your bean, or I might hit your bean. - Might flick your bean. (laughs) - Bean! - Bean! - Flick your bean. Flick your bean, the other titled episode 119. (laughs) - You are a mess. - Hmm. - Okay, so do we tell? Because unfortunately the reaction I got last time when I told the story, do I tell the sex stream about Rodan again, or do we just let it go? Do we just leave our listeners wanting more? - Oh, you have to tell the story. This is one of the best stories ever. (laughs) - I've not been able to sleep a whole night since, so. - Well, good, then my job here is done. (laughs) - When I told Tank, Tank goes, did that really happen? I said, I don't think so. And he was like, what did he eat before he went to bed? I said, I don't know, but it was real. - Yeah, okay. So listeners, put on your thinking caps, get your pad and pens out those of you into dream analysis or dream interpretation. 'Cause I had a sex stream involving Rodan. Pretty much-- - Well, who doesn't really? - Well. (laughs) - Hi, Melanie. (laughs) Okay, so in the dream, Rodan is visiting Babaloo and I. Babaloo and I live in this really great two-story townhouse, which we do not live in now. And it is in like a hilly countryside sort of thing. Rodan and I go out to a bar without Babaloo. We're hanging out for a little while. I'm talking to some people that, I suppose, I'm friends with in the dream that I don't know in real life. Rodan walks up to me and says, we have to go home. I say why Rodan says, because I have to jerk off. I look down at Rodan's pants. Rodan is pitching a huge tent. Rodan and I get back in the car, which has a red dashboard. So it was like a red light, like sort of bathing both Rodan and I. And we're driving and Rodan's saying, you have to go faster, you have to go faster, 'cause I really need to get off. And I'm like, I'm driving as fast as I can. Eventually, Rodan says, I can't take it anymore. Do you mind if I just jerk off in your car? I say, I guess that's okay. Which we know is a dream, 'cause that would have been in real life. - Oh please. - I would never let you jerk off in my car. So Rodan pulls down his pants, or undoes his pants, whips it out, starts jerking off. Right before Rodan comes, Rodan grabs my hand in the dream, not in reality, in the dream, and puts my hand upon his member. So as he comes, spraying me with giraffe juice, I can actually feel his, in the dream, I can feel his dick pulsing with the orgasm. So that happens, and I remember looking down and seeing his load on my hand. So we pull up to the house, I go in the house, and I say to Rodan, I need to wash this off my hand before Babaloo gets home, because if he sees it, he's gonna freak out, think of it, I was giving you a hand job, and that's not what happened, technically. And I have to go out to my car to get something, and as I'm walking back out to my car at the townhouse, Babaloo is pulling up. Now, for some reason, I didn't feel the need to wash my hand prior to going out to the car, but when I see Babaloo, I freak out, and run back in the house to scrub my hand off. And as Babaloo is walking in the door, as I've got my hand just about completely clean, that's when I woke up. Did I say, did I miss anything? - No, I think you pretty much hit it all, yeah. - Okay, and I tried to say that pretty fast, but so I know that some of our listeners in the past, when I've commented on, when I've had things about dreams, like on Facebook, or I've commented about dreams on the blog, they've interpreted it, interpret this. Write something on potismicopel.com and tell me what you think this dream's about. If you want it to be funny, be funny. If you actually think you know what this is about, I don't think it's actually about Rodan. - I don't know, it sounds a lot like me. - No, but I mean, in dreams, I do know that in Jungian theory that when you dream about people, you're not actually dreaming about people, you dream about people, you're dreaming about somebody else. - He was dreaming about you. - I was dreaming about you. - If I was dreaming about a giraffe popping a champagne bottle, then that would be about Rodan, but that wasn't what happened. - I think you're just really horny and you need Babaloo to man up more often. - No, okay, Babaloo, just, Babaloo, man's up just fine. Thank you very much. In fact, Babaloo man's up a lot more than I do. - I'm gonna say, I don't think Babaloo has a problem in the man and up department. - No, well, I don't think I have a problem in manning up. Thank you very much. - That's all my turns. - Thank you. I'm off the biata, that caused some problems with issues, with drive. I'm not on it anymore. The issues are dissipating. That's all you need to know about it. Bye, Kevin, we'll see you next week. - God, to say bye, Kevin, we love you. Oh, God. No, you hit all the big spots. - So can I also say that we have to say goodbye to something today? We have to say goodbye to something and it makes me kind of sad. - Sadness. - Oh, what do I have to say goodbye to? - We have to, I, we kind of have to say goodbye to a part of Padazme co-pilot history. We lost our voicemail line. - Really? - Yeah, because nobody called it. The number got disconnected. (laughing) - So I'm glad you find it. - All the voicemails, oops, sorry. (laughing) - Okay, that is hilarious. - Yeah, that's a little hilarious, but we're gonna eventually get another voicemail line. When we eventually reincorporating voicemails back into the show. - No, we won't. - No, we will. I swear to God, we really will. I do, I miss the voicemails. I just hate editing the voicemails. It always made me very excited when we would get a voicemail. - It made me, I always got excited because it was like people actually listened to us. I always thought that was what people leave us comments and we have some questions on Facebook. We have two questions and one of which is for Taffy. - Are you on Facebook right now? - I have the Facebook page open. Yes, I've had it open since before we started recording. - I don't believe, I don't believe that's part of the rules, but okay, let me hear your questions. That's part of the rules for you. - Go girl. - Because of all the technical issues you've been having, that's part of the rules for you. - Rodeon, did you just say you go girl? - I did. - Thank you 1997. All right, go ahead. - Hey, I was sticking up for you. You know how you're gonna pick on me? What's up with that? - Did you and the rest of the fly girls have fun when you were on the cross the pub for all the other night? - In Monroe. - All right, let's do this project. - You win Rosie Perez and Jennifer Lopez. - Bitches. - Okay, John, John Houssey, who's very cute, by the way, he's one of our cuter listeners, wrote, "Yes, I want to know who's the better green lantern? "How Jordan or Kyle Rayner? "I mean, Jordan became parallax in the specter and all, "but Kyle for a while was I on. "I mean, come on, I'm especially interested "in Taffy's opinion." - I absolutely think John was a much, much better green lantern. In fact, I wrote my thesis on this for my master's degree, so thank you, thank you for-- - Except that John wasn't one of the two options. - Exactly, he was hidden to option C. He needs to do his research a little more. - You're referring to John Stewart, of course. - John Stewart as in late night with John Stewart? - Yes, that's exactly who we're talking about. (laughing) That's exactly who used the third green lantern. You twit. - Do you mean Patrick Stewart? - Yes, John Luke Picard was the fourth green lantern. (laughing) - You guys are just trying to make me feel stupid. - And succeeding. - Is I like Kyle Rayner, 'cause he's cute. - I know, excuse me, the question is directed to me. And from what I know about the green lantern, I can guarantee you who the best green lantern is. Isn't Ryan Reynolds supposed to play the green lantern? - Oh! - Thank you! - Oh, yeah! - I really know that 'cause you listened to last week's episode. - That doesn't matter, I still answer the question, so suck it. Thank you, thank you. - Okay, yeah, I read some, like, fanfic years ago about Kyle Rayner and Dick Grayson. (gasping) It was hot! (laughing) - Now, okay, now don't talk to me like I don't want to-- - I think you may have forwarded that to me, 'cause somehow I seem to remember it. - Okay, Dick Grayson was Robin, correct? - Yes, actually now he's Batman. He's the new Batman. - How was Robin the new Batman? - Well, because Robin became Nightwing and the Nightwing became Batman, after Batman supposedly died. - I thought, okay. - Yeah, don't think too hard about it, 'cause I'm sure I'll be back. - I don't care. Now, can I ask you a question? Now, I know, we're gonna get letters and I'm gonna get hate mail, and I'm sorry, but what is the difference between the Green Lantern and the Green Hornet? - Well, okay, the Green Hornet was a TV show. - Oh, okay. - Back in the '60s, and the Green Lantern is a comic book character. - Okay, for some reason-- - What was that noise? - I'm sorry, I just got a text message. - Oh, wow, of course. - From someone in Wisconsin that says, "Where's your stiff dick tonight?" - Oh, is it the cute thunder boys? (laughing) - No, it is not the cute thunder boys, so-- - No, I thought that they were-- - Oh, I'm sorry, go ahead. - I have a random flirtation with someone who likes to text message me dirty things. - Well, good. - Anyways, continue. - Okay. - Sorry. - No, I thought that they were remaking the Green Hornet with Seth Rogen. So I just assumed it was a comic book character. - Yeah, but it's kind of like one of those movies that's based off TV shows. - Oh, well, I just, I didn't know. I just knew that it was something that was, you know, kind of, I mean, wasn't it like in this-- - But the original Green Hornet wasn't more than just a TV show, it was a radio serial or a comic strip, too, right, though? - Was it? - I thought I'd make comics on another idea. - I have an idea. - There was a history of it before the Green Hornet TV show. - Okay. - Is he supposed to be a comedian? I mean, is that why Seth Rogen's playing it? Or is it just-- - No, he's supposed to be really serious. It's supposed to be like a drama, like an action movie. - Oh, what's Seth Rogen? - I know. - Wow, you know. - There's Stoner Rogen in it. - Stoner Rogen. - One of our other listeners, Kim Soriano, wants to know, she wants to know why birds suddenly appear every time you are near. - Because, just like me, they long to be close to you. (laughing) - I think that's all we got as far as questions. And Cassie also just wrote, "I love you fuckers." - Aw, we love that fucker, too. - Yeah. - She's awesome, little fucker. By the way, today, Taylor and I ran into Shannon, who was the girl we've mentioned like a year ago, and then we mentioned her again a few months ago, that did a little adrift where she left. We met her at Starbucks, and she went on a one year, worldwide tour of herself in a backpack. She's back, and she was gone for the year, and she was back, and I had followed her travels, you know, I watched her website and stuff, and it was very cool to see her, and she looked great, and she was very excited, and she was very excited to see us, and she was very sweet about it, the whole thing. And she said, she was like, "How's your leg?" And I heard you got hurt, and all sort of stuff, and she had checked our blog the whole time she was traveling, and she said a lot of times she couldn't listen to the show because the internet connection was really bad, you know, when she was in Laos or wherever, but she said she checked the blog, and which was kind of cool. Thanks, thank you, Shannon. If you're now able to listen now that you're back home and have no excuse, so I will quiz you on this episode this week, but yeah, that was kind of cool. We randomly met her at Starbucks once, yep, and she was enjoying the pot as my co-pilot, so we thought that was very cool. But the things you'll see when you go to Starbucks-- - Oh, the places you'll go. - Usually it's Taffy and I holding court in the corner laughing at everybody. - Oh, God. I don't know what it is about women. And I mean, now, when I was super heavy, I had some big ass boobs, no question. - You have some big ass boobs now, you do. - Well, according to Taylor, I have the longest, but I don't know what the new trend to, I have big boobs, therefore, I'm going to wear a plate metal shelf bra that shoves them underneath my throat and a tank top and, you know, pajama bottoms. I'm just, I'm serious, I don't get it. - Oh my God, that sounds so high. - I know, and, you know, and I'm a hair under 300 pounds. I don't know, it's, that's the new craze. But today we got to see someone walking into Starbucks that was not 12 years old in a pair of cowboy boots, jeans, a flannel shirt, and her hair was parted down the middle in kind of loose, long ponytails, and she wasn't like going to a costume party. She was walking around. - So what's Sprout doing in a clear water? (laughing) - Nice, nice. - Oh, I didn't tell you guys. - What, what? - Beware. - Oh God, is he out here? - Why, is he back in? - Sprout is back in Tampa Bay. - For good? - I'll be sure to alert the CDC. (laughing) - Yes. - For good, he moved back? - Yes, he's staying with the great gazoo, and, - Well, you know. - The great gazoo, he's not a kept boy, even though the great gazoo's married to another, to a boy, but he's not kept. However, the great gazoo decided to buy him a brand new, grand Jeep Cherokee, because he didn't feel like Sprout's car was safe enough. - I guess it's gross. - Yes, I'm serious. I'm sorry, it's gross. - And Sprout's all like, oh, there's no strings attached? I said, okay, there's always strings attached. - Okay, but why do you care? - You do, you do care, though. It's okay that you care. - It's like family. - Fucked up dysfunctional family. Are you a member of the Huffington plan? - I was gonna say, of which you are not only, you're not only a member, but you're the president. - Thank you. - But isn't, I mean, and I'm not trying to, I'm not picking on you, I'm genuinely asking a question. This is a person who is bad for you. This is a toxic person who is bad for you, who obviously you have a place in your heart for, because he keeps appearing in your life, and you keep allowing him to appear in your life. But at what point do you say, you're too toxic for me? I'm toxic, I'm slipping under, I mean, at what point? I'm serious. - After all the time we're together, I mean, I feel connected to him. I mean, I'm sure-- - No, I understand that. - I was connected to drum. - I was gonna say, I'm trying to come up with a funny joke here, but I can't think of one, and he does listen, so I'm just gonna go, okay. - Well, exactly, drum still listens, you know? Does Sprout's listen? - So, no. - Could he, please, so that I can do an open letter to him? - Dearest Sprout. - Do you like Sprout? - Go fuck yourself, love Taylor. - Sprout, in the, you know, Green Valley of Life, I'm the Jolly Green Giant, ho, ho, ho. - You are mating call. - All right, enough Sprout bashing. - Yeah, sorry, so anyways. - Yes, well. - So he's back, and he's living here, and so does that mean the next time you're in town, you're gonna hook up with him? - No. - So, to speak. Why didn't mean hook up as in? - No, seriously, I mean, I have no desire. - Oh, that's good. - Well, anybody who'd like to meet Sprout can go to the Port Hall on Bruce B. Towns. (laughs) I don't think there's an actual bar named the Port Hall, but there should be. - He'll be the one with a shirt that says come denser. - Borrowed from the Lillist Huffington. (laughs) (laughs) (groans) - Nice! - Well played. - Are we wrapping it up? - All right, well, we need to get going, especially 'cause your voice is getting all crazy, so let's wrap this up. As always, you can go to our blog, which is patasmekopilot.com. You can email us at patasmekopilot@gmail.com. This is normally where I would say, call us at 206-202-5165, but you'll just get some random woman saying, if you'd like to, you know, call this number, fuck you, you can't. Join our Facebook group, which is okay, so I love potasmekopilot. And we will be probably going a little bit longer between episodes just for the next few weeks. Taffy's gonna be out of town next weekend. I've got a class that I'm taking for diabetes, which I'll talk all about the next time I see you guys, which normally doesn't sound funny, but it actually is kind of funny. - 'Cause you got the sugar. - Yeah, and you guys are just gonna tap me. Okay, stop that. You freak me out when you talk like that. You are the white devil, you are the white devil. - You are the white devil. - Oh God, now Rodin's doing it too. Okay, we'll be back in a couple of weeks. We'll be back later. All right, this is Taylor. - It's happy, it's happy. - And Rodin. - All right, have a good week, everybody. Bye bye. (upbeat music) - You've been listening to Hot Is My Co-Pilot, with Taylor the Latte boy, Taffy Carlisle Huffington, and Rodin. It doesn't your life seem just a little bit brighter. See you next time. (upbeat music) (upbeat music) (upbeat music) (upbeat music) (upbeat music)