Pod Is My Copilot
PiMC: Episode 117 - Suckle From Those Tyra Teets, or HANDTIME!!!
It's taken two weeks and multiple tries, but we finally are able to give you a JUMBO sized episode - 72 minutes of PiMC loveliness! (don't worry, they won't all be this long) Taffy takes in dinner and a show at a wedding, Rodan is taking in some Ozark scenery, and Taylor...well, Taylor's taking names!! Lots of TV talk, and we discuss the pros and cons of..."the dirty fuck." We are Pod Is My Copilot.
blog: www.podismycopilot.com, phone: 206-202-5165, email: podismycopilot.com, facebook: Ok, So I Love Pod Is My Copilot
(upbeat music) Is it just me or is Harry Potter getting sexy? You're listening to Potter is my co-pilot with Taylor the Latte boy, Taffy Carlisle Huffington and Rodan. Take it away, kids. - One. - Two. Stop it. - He's trying to act like a metronome. (laughing) - Five. - Four. - Five. - Six. - You're a child. (laughing) - And you know what? That's how we're starting the show tonight. (laughing) - Nice. - With the sounds of Rodan eating pussy. (laughing) - That was Rodan, doesn't metronome. (laughing) - Is that, is that his screen name on "Manhunt"? - Oh. (laughing) - Maybe it didn't. - TikTok, TikTok, TikTok. Rodan, he likes his big old cock. (laughing) - I was going to say, "Hickory, dick, never mind it." Hey, hi everybody, it's Taylor the Latte boy and you just downloaded up a, what number are we on? - 117. - Of Pod is my co-pilot. I am joined as always by Taffy Carlisle Huffington. - Hello you. - And Rodan. - Howdy. - Howdy, how are we doing tonight, kids? - Fabulous. - Yeah. - We're doing a midweek show this week. - We are. - We're doing it hump day style. (laughing) - You always do it hump day style. - Amen. (laughing) - Nice. - Today is $9.99. - Ah, which apparently upside down is 666. - Really? - Because upside down you're turning me? You're giving me love? - What? - Upside down you're turning me. - Right, right. - You'll give me love, silly. - Well, you know, well-spilled backwards is wow, and wow upside down his mom, and mom upside down his dad's favorite thing. (laughing) - Nice. - How the drum. - Do you know whose joke that is? - No. - Bob Saget. - Really? - Well, he is filthy. - That's a Bob Saget joke from years before he was on Full House. I saw something, I was at a, I think a party once that there was a videotape playing and that was on in the background. And that's the one thing that I remember from it. And then I laughed very, very hard. Until I got the mental picture of my mother upside down and then I was a little nauseous. - Oh, you know, I just watched the whole first season of How I Met Your Mother. And I swear as I walk around, no, I have Bob Saget in my head narrating my life. - Does Bob Saget the narrator on there? - Yes. - Oh. - No, why not? - Is that the show with the girl, the Canadian pop star that lets all go to the mall? - Yes. - Okay. - With Neil Patrick Harris on it? - Right, I knew Neil Patrick Harris was on it, but I hadn't, that's one of those shows that kind of flew under the radar for me. I've watched bits and pieces of it and thought this just sort of looks like a friend's rip off. - Yeah, I was gonna say I never got it. I never watched it. - Yeah, it's not a friend's rip off, but there are similar elements, but it's, I like it a lot more than friends ever. - What? - I know. - I just found something that was available on iTunes a couple of months ago that was, you know, when they have the free stuff. - Yeah. - And it was a free season, friends, season 10 blooper reel that was like 20 minutes long. - Nice. - That I downloaded and it totally forgotten about that I was clearing shit out of my computer and came across this. I'm like, I'm gonna sit and watch this. I sat and laughed my ass off. That is a show that- - That's still one of my favorite shows of all time. - Yeah, no, it's definitely it's a great show. I don't know how well it holds up when you went, especially when you watched some of the earlier episodes. - Oh yeah. - It did occasionally get kind of schmaltzy. - Kinda, no, it was schmaltzy. - No, I know, but you could tell they all genuinely liked one another and of course it's got Matt LeBlanc and I would let Matt LeBlanc bend me over a desk any day of the week. - God, from your lips to God's ears. - Yeah. (laughing) - I've been desperately trying to increase my comedy DVDs 'cause I don't have a lot of comedies. I have a lot of, you know, like Andromeda and Earth Final Conflict and shit like that. - Then do you own It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia? - I do not. - You need, you would totally love It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia. - Well, and I've gotten the recommendation multiple times so I was gonna buy it the next time it goes on like super cheap sale. I have this thing where I really won't spend more than $14.99 on a comedy season set. I generally watch out for the sales. - We just finished tonight, we just finished watching the third season of it because we had gotten, as I talked about, I think on the last show that we had gotten the first two seasons and then we were at Best Buy last weekend and the third season was on sale for 20 bucks. And it's normally like 30 or 35 so I grabbed it and it's very funny. And the fourth season actually comes out on Tuesday. So. - Cool. - I just bought all seven seasons of the Golden Girls for $8.99 a piece. - What? Where? - At Target last week. And they had all five seasons of Alias for $12.99. - Well, that makes sense. But the Golden Girls, really? - This is the gayest podcast ever. - No, this is the nerdiest podcast ever. I, Alias was one of those shows that I kind of regret having not given a chance to. - Yeah. I mean, I only watched sporadic episodes and so then I bought five seasons worth, so. - Plus any show that has Greg Goomburg. Goomburg, is that how you say it? - I think so. - And Bradley Cooper on it. - Yes. - I know that I never gave Bradley Cooper even a second look until the hangover. And he was hot as fuck is the hangover. - Well, he's hot as fuck in general. - I never even gave him a second look. The only thing I could ever remember him from was wedding crashers. And he just was kind of swarming and wedding crashers, which I know he was supposed to be. But yeah, he is a cutie. - Now, I have no desire to see him in the new Sandra Bullock movie. Like none whatsoever. - My child saw that and she said that it was funny, but she's 13, so there you go. (laughing) - She also watches the sweet life of Zack and Cody, so. - Yeah, well, I'm sorry that she doesn't get into, you know, my pretty pony the early years. But I mean, you know, Kathy Dennis' greatest hits on video, whatever. - Hey, I enjoy Kathy Dennis. You watch her mouth. - Of course you do. Well, she did sing at 90210 Senior Prom, so there you go. (laughing) - She is part of a show that you watch every week when it's on. - What? - Kathy Dennis. - She wrote the theme song to "American Idol." - Really? - Yes. - She's the song, I mean, I know there's no lyrics to it, but she's the one who composed the theme to "American Idol." - I saw your post tonight and I had been gone all night 'cause I was at a wedding today because they wanted their anniversary to be 999. But I think it's absolutely preposterous and ridiculous that Ellen DeGeneres is going to be the new judge. Although I will say, - I know. - I can't stand Paula Abdul, so I wasn't sad to see her go, but I don't understand that. - Well, I enjoyed her judging on 'cause you're thinking dance. - Oh, I didn't mind it at all. - She's gonna have to learn how to compact her judging into the whole 15-second snippet. - I don't know, I just thought, I thought she was doing a stand-up routine every time she got ready to critique anybody, I don't know. And I like Ellen DeGeneres, I mean, I think she's very funny, but she, I just, I don't know. - That'll be very cloying by about week six. - Well, it'll be interesting to see what she, how she goes to "American Idol." I mean, I have a sense that she will be not just loving everybody like she was on "So You Think You Can Dance." 'Cause she looked a little bit out of her element on "So You Think You Can Dance." - But she's gonna be out of her element on "American Idol." - I was gonna say she can dance. - Yeah, and ultimately, I don't give a shit, but I think that you're just replacing one train wreck for another train wreck. And at least with the other train wreck, it was, you know, the LaRaza Pan Express versus this one, that it's just gonna be that awkward. I don't know what to say, so I'm just gonna keep repeating the same joke over the course of the hour. - Yeah, I don't know. - We will see, although I was just about to start watching, so you think you can dance before the show started, before we started taping this show. - It makes me, I was telling Taffy earlier today, but tonight is the season premiere of "Glee." So "You Think You Can Dance," Top Chef is on, and the two-hour "America's Next Top" model. I'm a little nauseous to think how much my DVR is working overdrive tonight. - I was just about all the shows that I watched one night. - But there's nothing on, that's what I was gonna say. There's nothing on on Monday night, or Sunday night, or Tuesday night. There's pretty much nothing on Friday night, or Saturday night, but Wednesday and Thursday now, they've decided to shove every single thing into there. - Oh, I know, Thursday night is packed packed. - Mm-hmm, they both are, it's ridiculous. - The problem is that Thursday morning, I'm gonna be getting calls from Taffy, saying, "Did you watch this show? Did you watch that show?" And I'm not gonna be able to watch them all, you know, my head's gonna explode. - Wow. - Yeah. - What are you gonna be doing? - I'm doing fine with Top Chef, where I could watch Top Chef and say, "I did watch it, and we could discuss it." But now, between that and, so you think you can dance, and I just burped a little, I'm sorry. - Oh, that's pretty. - And, you know, all the other shows, I just, it makes me nervous. - I'll try not to be peer pressuring you into watching anything. I'll let it happen slowly and in your own time. - I'm thinking I may not get past the first couple of episodes of America's Next Top Model. I'm thinking either America's Next Top Model, or Project Runaway, one of those is going to fall by the wayside very quickly. - If you had to pick one, Tappy, which one would you give up? - If I had to pick between America's Next Top Model and Project Runaway, - Yeah. - Project Runaway, and I love Project Runaway, but I love America's Next Top Model. So, I don't know, that would be, of course they also play both of them in reruns, ad nauseum, so I could eventually catch the other one. But if I had to give up one, I would, now, between those two shows, I would say Project Runaway. There are other shows I would be hard pressed to pick. If it was between Top Chef and Biggest Loser, that would be tough for me. That's two that I would be hard. I can't wait to see Glee, though. I'm very excited for Glee. - Yeah, I am looking forward to Glee. I was not all about the director's cut last week. - No, I was kinda sorry. - There was things I liked that they added, but if they cut out too much, that made the story make sense. So, I was not all about that last week. - We're sorry. Although, I can't-- - Apologize, damn, apologize! - I was very upset tonight when I found out that if I'm recording everything I want to record, that I had to not record Wipeout, and as Kevin B and I have expressed, that is the greatest show on television, and I could not record it, which made me very sad. So, I had something had to give, and that was why it went by the wayside, so that's fine. - I've recently purchased a second dual tuner Tivo, and I was waiting to add a cable card to it, and so now I'm going to have to just do it, 'cause, which will mean that I'll have-- - How much TV do you watch? - Not as much as it sounds, but the whole Wednesday/Thursday issue is gonna be problematic for me, 'cause I do want to watch community, and not wait for the DVD, and bones and like rays and CSI. - Yeah, if you have to get another DVR, because there's too many shows you want to watch on one night, that's a problem. - No, I mean, that's not why I bought it, I bought it because I needed a high definition one, that's all. - No, no, no. - He always just has this trick space the other way while he's fucking them, that way he can watch TV with them. - Well yeah, and so when I'm like doing work email out in the living room, I can have a drink, do work email, and watch a TV show at the same time. It's like-- - Is work email the name of another guy on me? (laughing) - No, that's just work mail. - Yeah. - Work mail for you. - Work LA. (laughing) - Nice. - Don't be giving away all my screen names. Oh, I'm sorry, I'm sorry. Speaking, well speaking of Facebook mentions, and you mentioned Kevin B a minute ago, I'd like to say that I'm looking very forward to spending some time with Taffy tomorrow, because Taffy often makes baked goods for me when I come to visit, and I believe that she'll be making me a big heap and play to humble pie. - Oh, why is that? - Because Taffy took a chance on something that I've been telling her to do for years, and she liked it. - Take a chance, take a chance. Yes, I watched-- - Taffy's finally dipped her toes into lesbianism. (laughing) - What? - No. - I'm just kidding. - Yes, lesbianism with Kevin B. That's exactly what this is about. - The title for episode 117. (laughing) - No, I watched a movie that the two of them have talked about forever that, oh my God, I can't believe you haven't seen it, blah, blah, blah. I finally watched same time next year, with Alan Alda and Ellen Burston. - Dude, I've never seen that. - Well, because it doesn't have Megan Fox and Transformers in it, so I didn't expect you to watch it, but I thought Taffy would enjoy it. - Well, I was very reluctant to watch it, and I thought it was charming. I loved it. I would watch it to get in a heartbeat. I was very much the whole, okay, I'll give it, give it a few minutes if it doesn't hold my interest, then fuck it. Nope, I was sucked in in the first 10 minutes, so I thought it was great. And the way that they do Alan Alda and Ellen Burston in their age progression is a great, great job, especially considering it was shot in 1978. So they didn't have, you know, it wasn't where they could do the whole thing, like an X-Men, where they completely photoshop everybody plastic. No, it was really, really good, and I thought the movie was great. So a tip of the hat to Kevin B and Mr. Taylor, the Latte boy. - Thank you. - You're welcome. Now, if I only, I could get you to watch, you know, election, not election. - I love election. - No, it's not election, it's the other one. It's secretary, that's what I want you to watch. - I will totally watch secretary. It's not that I don't want to watch secretary, it's that I have other things that I have been watching instead. - Babaloo jerk off is not what I'm talking about. - Yeah, right. - Does it count if it's on video? (laughing) - But you get to watch Babaloo on the big screen. - Wow. - Well, you kind of need to watch Babaloo on the big screen. - Okay. - Is that why everything fits? - No. - I'm talking about his dick. (laughing) - Oh my God. - Never gonna look at Babaloo the same. - So what else have you guys been up to? - Looking at Babaloo's birth canal on HD. (laughing) - And we're done with the chocolate pudding. - Oh, I hate it. - It's called the chocolate. (laughing) - Well, I went to a wedding tonight. I literally got home. I walked in the door and my clock said 957. We recorded 10. So I was just like, "Get out of my way!" I'm like knocking children, knocking dogs out the way. If I can open up everything I need to have open. Well, let me tell you, okay, first off, this is like, I truly, truly adore the bride, but her family and every other person, pretty much that was there was pretty much my trash. But anyways, we go to the wedding. The bride looked beautiful as they all should. And she works for Clear Channel. And virtually, I mean like the DJs that were there for the music were all radio DJs. Like from all the local radio stations, they were all there and they were the ones that were doing the DJing. It was very funny 'cause they were all people you recognized and knew, which was kind of cool. And so all the people that were sitting at our table were industry people. And we were like, you know, where the round tables hold like, you know, 10 people. So there was the four of us. And then there was six people who were all works for Clear Channel. So the one guy who's sitting directly beside Tank introduces himself to us and he's this very much, you know, I'm a broadcaster and I, you know, I'm Bill McNeil, you know, from News Radio. He's very much that kind of personality. And about literally two minutes in where we've all introduced ourselves and he's telling us what beautiful daughters we have and blah, blah, blah and how do you know the bride and groom. So have you ever seen the movie on the waterfront? What? (laughs) Okay. And as he says this, I noticed that his wife/girlfriend, slash escort, whatever puts her hand up to her eyes as if to say, oh God, please don't encourage this behavior. Please, please, please, no. To which tank can I go? Yeah, we've seen on the riverfront, Marlon Brando. He goes, on the waterfront, on the waterfront, Marlon Brando. He goes, I can quote that entire movie. And I said, really? I said, because you're sitting amongst a group of movie quotas, we get a good laugh, we get a good laugh, we get a good laugh. And he goes, opening scene, the taxi cab, water comes in. Oh God, oh my goodness. He proceeds to quote this movie along with art direction and sound cues and this is where this song comes in and then the music fades. And then Marlon Brando says, for about 25 minutes and I am not exaggerating, I'm talking through the entire, everyone's walking in, getting their pictures taken, they're walking around with hors d'oeuvres, they're filling champagne glasses, la, la, la, la, la, la. And this guy is still going on and on to the point where I want to point, you know, a little stuffing teen leans over and she goes, who spoke to him first? And she's got her steak knife in her hand, she looks at me and she goes, seriously, which one of you spoke to him first? Because it was like, okay, it was funny and it's charming and we're laughing appropriately except now the music is playing louder and everyone starting to bang on their glasses to get the brine groom to kiss. And so it's loud and you're trying to focus on what he's saying and laugh at the appropriate times except he kept getting, to the one point, he's standing up and acting out the scene and the woman who's with him is like, will you sit down? He's like, no, no, no, this is the best part. And I'm going, I can, so literally, tank checks his watch and he's like, this has been like 20 minutes and I'm like, just, just, you know, don't make eye contact. And so now we're trying to like, cut our food. We're looking away, he's still going and he's getting louder and louder and louder. Finally, he picks up his drink and he does the whole, the whole big long monologue speech. He slams his drink down and boughs. And all of us are like, what? Yay, that's insane. He actually takes like a curtsy. We're like, oh, great. You're not clapping because of your job. We're clapping because you're done. Exactly. And I kept thinking to myself, if this man is alone with himself and any kind of a media boost, you know, this goes on 24 to seven. I mean, how bad are you and I with the whole? What movie is that from? So can you even imagine this? And he's like, you know, I tried out for who wants to be a millionaire and I got up to the like $750,000 question and then I didn't get this one. And it was a movie question and I ended up, I challenged the director because I knew that my answer was right and it was my enunciation was wrong and they wouldn't give it to me. I, would you like to have a Jordan Almond? (laughs) I've known you for two minutes, I'm sorry. Yeah. Did he say that? Yes, this is the whole time. And this was, he tried out for, he tried out for... He answered the question, but the inflection in his tone was wrong. So they thought the last, then last name of whatever this director was was wrong, except he fought, he fought the shows producer and said, no, you know, I said it, I said this and if you check the spelling, it's correct. And it ended up coming back that since he worked for Clear Channel, he couldn't have won anyways. And he got all indignant and he was like, this, this, this, this, and this. And you know, I was fighting with the producers and this was this, the woman's like, we could have had a million dollars. (laughs) What? I tell. Wow. Hey everybody, it's Taylor. It is a couple days later, we had some technical glitches on the first part of the show. So we're coming to you somewhat, not somewhat live. That's what Michael and Kevin used to say. Oh yeah, don't say something they would say. It makes us spin off. I know. We are not a spin off. We can't be a spin off. Well, we couldn't be a spin off ever because we weren't ever a spin off of it. I don't think we could be a spin off once a show gets canceled. Not you. (laughs) Cancel. Whoops. Let me right here. (laughs) Kevin B, send your letters to Taylor the Latte boy. I don't care if that is Michael. We just lost our Q-Cast fans. I know. I know. I'm sorry. You know. I have a headache. I can't help it. (laughs) That's what they all said. I was just telling, I was just telling Rodin before Taffy signed in that I'm on call this weekend and I've been called out a bunch of times for various things and all that. And Babaloo went and visited his family today over downtown Disney. They were over at the parks and he came home and we were talking for a little while. He's like, "I think I want to lay down for a little bit." And I said, "Okay, welcome down lay down next year "while we're staying talking." And we put Rocco up on the bed and all of a sudden Rocco falls asleep and then I hear Babaloo start to fall asleep. So I'm like, "Well, I'll sit here and read a comic book." And next thing I know, Babaloo is shaking me way going, "We've been asleep for two hours." - Oh no. - Well that's so nice though. Being able to sleep with your lava on a Sunday afternoon. - It is, except that first then I was nervous like, oh my God, the phone was in the other room. If somebody died and then I have an answer then I'll get in a shitload of trouble. And you know when you sleep too long for a nap then you get a headache? - No. - Well Taffy wouldn't because she's constantly in a manic state, but when you sleep too long for a nap you get a headache and that's what I've got going on. I've just got this like horrible. - What time did you wake up? - Like 6.30. - Oh God. - So that means that my sleep is gonna be all fucked up tonight. So when I finally get to sleep around three o'clock, someone will drop dead. - So when you're calling me at 1.30 going Starbucks. - Yeah, right. We could do that. - We could totally do that. - Okay, that's fine for you. - Are Starbucks 24 hours? - There's one, yeah. - The one that pretty much Taffy and I have already been in on Friday night and Saturday night together. - Exactly. - We might as well make it a hat trick for the weekend and just go to Starbucks and hang out. Okay. - Good. - Before, 'cause I know Rodan says he has some stories and I'm sure Taffy has some stories. Did either one of you, the VMAs are on tonight? Did either one of you watch the first 10 minutes? - No. - First off, it has been on in my house and I kind of filtered through because the girls were recording it and I can just say one thing about it. After looking at the people who were nominated for awards and looking for the people in the audience, I don't want to hang out with any of them. - Does that look like skid marks? - They're gross, they're all gross. And Jana Jackson looks like she did when she did, you know, control, so I don't know. - Okay, but did you see the Madonna speech? - No, I didn't. - No. I pretty much did what is, the only thing that was going through my head was Sandra Bernhardt did a joke years ago when Gianni Versace died and Gianni Versace said that Naomi Campbell said, "It's been a real tragedy for me." (laughing) - Oh God. - Madonna talked about herself. - What was she supposed to be talking about? - Michael Jackson. - Oh, I didn't know, okay. - She's talking, when she's not talking about herself, she's shaming the world. It was-- - Okay. - Really-- - What was she be shaming them for? - Because, you know, we all turned our back on a musical genius and he never had a childhood, just like my mom died when I was six and it was horrible. I was kind of disappointed. - We were offended. - It was a little offensive. It was a little, and when she said the first season comes in and she says, "Michael Jackson and everybody starts going crazy" and she's like, "I have more to say, so we'll start this over." - Well, but that's kind of how she is, I think. I think that's that whole, I've mad just a bitch, so I have to, you know, it takes a real man to fill my shoes. That's all I can remember from that. - She literally got Lady Gaga's grandmother up there, so. - Jeez. - There got to be, well, that's pretty much what she is. There got to be some point when Madonna started just thinking about the woe is me because I'm famous. - My life is so hard because I'm famous. - When an artist does that, that's the end of them. And to me, Madonna hit that point and so now she's in her own little universe and I'm sure she's thinking about her own mortality at this point because, you know, she's thinking about what the world's going to do and she dies. That's the only thing she's obsessed with. - She's already working on her iMac movie, "Real of Tricks." - I will say, I will say it was kind of cool with, I mean, the Janet Jackson thing was ridiculous. She came out and she sang three lines and, but it was neat that they CGI'd her out of the dance that she did with Michael Jackson for the screen video. - Yeah. - And the way they had the camera, it looked like she was dancing, kind of like she was dancing in the video screen. - That's cool. - It'll be all, for those of you who didn't see it because, you know, we're not necessarily MTV's demographic anymore, it'll be all over YouTube and places to go look at it. But the Madonna thing was a little ridiculous. - Speaking of ridiculous things on YouTube, without getting on a completely different tangent, has anybody seen the German AIDS commercial that was banned? - No. - Well, I lived in Germany for a year, a long, long time ago and there's one unwritten rule. Actually, that's not true. It is an actual written rule that you cannot use Hitler's image or swastikas or anything like that. Any kind of neo-Nazi or Nazi propaganda in any way in Germany. That is the German rule. - No, I knew that. - Well, but apparently the statute of limitations ran up on that as of July, 2009. And August 1st, 2009. - So it's Nazi-a-palooza. - Well, they re- - That's titled episode 170. - Nazi-palooza. - They released and by they, I mean a kind of planned parenthood organization in Germany released a video of the screen is completely black and all you hear is two people getting it on. And it's very much the whole. (groans) And all of a sudden she kind of goes oh, oh, oh. And then it sounds like she's dying. And then like a light comes on like on one of the screens and it's Hitler and some woman on all fours and it said AIDS, the second deadliest thing to hit Germany. - Oh my God. - Oh my God. - Yes. - And they have, they have called it and they have done all this other stuff and they've sent out all these apologies and all those other things. So of course, how do I hear about this from my 13 year old? (laughs) Because they're talking about it at school and I was like, that's charming. - She produced the commercial. - Exactly. Yeah, she was starring it. She was one Justin Bissiller. So, (laughs) Kathy Carla Huffington has Hitler. The role she was born to play now. - Taffy Carla Huffington. - I meant the little Sovington. - Well, yeah, that was a Freudian slip of everyone. - Yeah, exactly. So yeah, so you have to YouTube that as well. - Okay, post it on the blog. - Oh, that's the one way to take it to hell. - Why? (laughs) It's relevant, it's something we talked about. It's timely, it's informative. - It is timely and informative. - Speaking of which, thank you for those of you who donated to AIDS Walk. It got rained out so we didn't walk, but your donations are still appreciated. - Yes. - Which sucked. - Yes. - Kind of, 'cause I was on call, so I wasn't gonna be able to actually walk, but I was gonna go down and take pictures of everybody, and so we didn't get to do that. So we went to Cracker Barrel instead. - Well. - You know, 'cause Cracker Barrel is so supportive of, you know, people would hate it. - We went to Cracker Barrel with all of your donation money and had Mama's pancake breakfast. (laughs) I'm joking. - Don't tell me about that in the video. - They didn't actually send us the checks. They sent the checks directly to the organization, so you don't worry about that, but. - Oh, good. - It's still, it stinks, 'cause it's always, it is always a lot of fun, and it's, I know that they are probably not gonna raise as much money as they normally would have for people, like, you know, Taffy and the Little Tuffington and some people from work that were just gonna go and write a check, but hopefully, all of those people will actually send a check, you know, post-AIDS walkie. - Total. - Okay. - Hello, did I lose you guys? - No. - No. - Okay. - It was just crickets after Taylor finished that story. - Yeah. - Asking for Taffy for money for the AIDS walk. - I didn't ask Taffy for money. - You're like, so hopefully people like Taffy will write a check. - No, that's not what I meant at all. I know, I'm just poking. 'Cause Taffy had really quiet on the other hand. - No, I thought it was-- - Taffy supported the AIDS movement for many years in all of her latex costumes that she wears to bed with tag, probably their weird S&M cosplay. - It's not big gross. - She keeps the con industry in business. - Oh Lord. So, did you hear where we had dinner this evening? - I saw on Facebook where you had dinner. - Yes, when we tried to call Babaloo, we were calling Babaloo because we were actually pulling on Disney property. We were gonna see if he was still there. I wanted to join us for dinner, but he had already left. We were like, watch your entampa. I'm thinking he would have to have lunch and so he might still be walking around, but he was gone, so he got nothing. - No, well apparently his family was two hours late for their time that they were supposed to meet him at Disney, so he wandered around downtown. Disney buy himself for two hours. - I'd have been pissed. - Aw. - He came home a little pissed. - Yeah, I would have been pissed. - But for reasons that I'm not going to get into on a podcast. - That's probably good. - Which means I'll talk about the one here. - I already talked to him, I already know about him. - Oh, okay. - That's right. - So tell America, no. - No, so what have you been up to? - Who? - Rodin, the one who was last talking. - I'm sorry, I'm just like, there's two of us. There's two of us. - I'm here with God. - Besides double-fisting alcohol, the present moment. - Yeah, so apparently our fine neighbor from the north is drinking, what did you say, Jack and Coke? - Jack and Diet Dr. Pepper. - Oh, well, because last year, and he's drinking it out of a Taco Bell cup. - It's actually a Wendy's large plastic cup. - Oh, a thousand pardon. - That's good to say, yes, pardon me. - Yes, I have way too many of these that I still drink out of. - You keep them? - I make way too much money a year to be drinking out of Taco Bell cups. - Wait, you keep them? - I keep them, I wash them, and I wash them for ages. I have so many of them. - That's the saddest thing I've ever heard you say, and I've heard you say some sad shit. That is the saddest thing I've ever said. - That's a holdover from college days, though. - It is. - We have the big cups, so when you're walking around, you get as much alcohol in you as possible, so that you can eventually pass out and have somebody take advantage of you, or hope that the captain of the soccer team takes advantage of you. So you fall asleep in his dorm room with your pants down or end your ankles, as in the air. - And your ass there. - And wake up with a weird Sharpie. - That's like for the baseball player rooms. I mean, uh, uh. - No, I was always a soccer ball, Keith Bertini. I don't care. I'll say it. Keith Bertini. I, uh, oh God, Keith Bertini, uh, he was such a God. - But that fits your, that fits your prototyping, you know, hairy legs, kind of short, good arms. - He was, and he was very, very cute, and he was very, always very, very nice to me. He was a major, he was a major in all of my classes, and the night before graduation, we were all standing around talking, and he was drunk off his ass, and I said to him, you know what? Out of all the, out of all the, like, you know, the soccer players and all that stuff, I said, you were always a really nice guy to me, and I really appreciate that. He said, no problem, and as he walked past me, he smacked me on the ass as hard as he could. - And you got hard? - I came in my pants, that was. - No, that is odd, are you serious? - No, no, God, I'm joking, but I-- - He may be quick, but he's not that quick. - No, yeah, thank you, hair, trigger, but I was, oh God, that was always, and apparently, he's, I've tried to be his friend on my, or Facebook, but he hasn't responded. - Aw. - I've also seen how many friends he has, and he's only got, like, one or two friends, so I don't think he's actually, because I'm that much of a stalker that I'll check to see if he's, like, you know, actually friends. I need to just shut up now, because-- - I think so, 'cause it's a little creepy. - It is a little creepy. - So, I never had to think for the soccer players in college, because they had nice legs, but they always had, like, little arms and little chests. I mean, very few of them had nice upper bodies. And there's always, like, bird chest and then nice legs. And I just, when I was in college, that was when umbros were really in, so they always to walk around a little umbros. - Yeah, I think that's true. - Do you remember his name was Jad J-A-D? - Yes. - First name. He had the best legs, oh my God. He had great little stocky hairy legs with great calves. I used to love him. - Good board. - Wow. - I really shouldn't be saying all of these actual names of people. - I think it's great. - Yeah. - Yeah, whatever. - I have very few stories. - Like this guy online who's like 19 is a sophomore over, you'll allow, like, two blocks over from where I live. And, yeah, apparently. - We're back to the kindergarten set? - Well, no, and so I've been just talking to online. No interest in doing anything with him, but he's like, tell me all these stories about how he went to a frat party on Friday night and how he was surrounded by shirtless gods the whole night and he couldn't do anything. And it was just, I felt bad for him at the same time. I'm like, you fucker, why are you doing going to frat parties in the first place? And then he ended up on a pinball table, like Jodie Foster in the accused. (laughing) - One, two, three, four, poker, Dan and Tilly's sword. (laughing) - I've never actually seen that movie. - That's what they're all chanting while they're raping her up against the pinball machine. Except they're not saying right now. - You're like, God, is that what you chant a tank? - No. - Wow. - Yes, I say poker, Dan, until he's sword. That's exactly, that's what I get tanks going on. Let me just tell you. - Well, yeah, you know. - Okay, so I had a trip recently where I was traveling in the rural Ozarks. I won't say which state, I'll just say in the Ozarks. - Okay. - And while I had some fun in my hotel room, the real story is that we had to drive from two different, you know, from a hotel to a different hotel, for various reasons. And while we're driving through the rural lands of this uncharted state, we can't, I mean, it was like two hour drive. - So basically he was in like Missouri or Arkansas, or the two, I mean, where did the hotel go through? - No, no, no, no, a little bit further east, so. - No, not Kansas, Illinois, Tennessee. - It was the Ozarks, he was in Connecticut. (laughing) - Okay, so we, you know, we're driving and you're driving, driving, I'm like, going on my, you know, doing email and talking on the phone and stuff. And the next thing I know is we're passing a road sign like fruit stand, right? And we noticed that it doesn't sell fruit, it doesn't sell flowers, it sells caskets and gravestones. - Are you kidding me? - Bob's corner casket shop or some shit. And so we passed, and we're like, what the hell? And so we passed that, and we start passing a bunch of untended cemeteries, you know, on our right, and with huge big grave markers, I mean, gorgeous, I mean, just like, you know, lots of marble, just in the middle of nowhere. And then on our left, we start passing a bunch of mobile home parks. Well, not really parks, but just like, you know, trailers kind of arranged off to the side of the road. And then we pass more cemeteries on the right, and then more mobile home parks on the left. - So you were in Pinellas County, Florida? - No, well, yeah, because it was like, you know, mobile homes and yards and stuff. And then we started passing an interesting thing. Mobile homes with finely tended front lawns with grave markers. - What? - And so the first couple we thought were just like, you know, maybe people were just showing you, making it ready for Halloween earlier or something like that. No, apparently in this state, it's legal to bury the family in the yard. - What? (laughing) - And while I have nothing against wanting to keep your loved ones close, and while I don't have anything against people who live in trailers, because I myself had to live in trailer for a while, not a big deal. It's a cheap way of, you know, living. - It's cheap housing, affordable housing, sure. - Exactly, I mean, plenty of people do it. It's great, just don't be around for a tornado. They're safety issues. But, I mean, these were mobile homes with graves. The graves are kind of permanent. The mobile home is not. - That's what I was just gonna say, you know, mobile home by definition is something that can be moved. - Or go the name mobile home. I know, so what do you have to hold the trailer on out? - You just dig, dig a grandma? Yeah, I mean, that's-- - You're gonna dig, re-exume the bodies and put them on the trailer and just-- - We gotta move, go get the shovel. - That is, that's creepy. - I know, that's, there's something about that that makes me inherently sad. - But, you know, and so there's plenty of families here in Louisiana that have like grave, like plots on their land, like that, you know, big farm type land, and they have a spot for the family cemetery, right? - Sure, sure. - And so, you know, there's like 10, 20 kind of graves and there's plots in there for the family. And it's away from the house and it's a separate little area. - I think that's different than what you're talking about. - No, this is three feet from the trailer. Jesus Christ. - That's, no, that is morbid. There's something really inherently wrong about that. - Yeah. - Well, I got news for you, I'm changing subjects entirely, but it's also weird, no, this is weird. - Surprise! - No, this is weird and creepy and something I saw while driving. So, there's a tie in there. On the way to Disney World today, there is billboards that move, you know, like the billboards on, I4, that kind of-- - Like ticketing kind of things? - What? - I just, I said lenticular, I don't know why. I don't know why I thought that. - Okay, anyways, they're, okay, yes, what you said. That move and change for different advertisements, except one had gotten hung up halfway through changing. So, and then it was paused, it was used to step by lightning or whatever. So, half of one advertisement was showing and half of the other advertisement was showing, 'cause they're the kind that flipped vertically. You follow me? - Yes. - Yeah. - What was for Todd English, which is a adult superstore. The second half was for a husband and wife pastoral couple that has a ministry that is a by Lakeland. - Nice. - Yes, we could not get a picture of it. We tried to get a picture of it with ourself and it was raining and there was no way we could get it. But 'cause we kept looking at it thinking, something about that, I don't know the same, right? And it never moved, it never moved and I thought, oh, can you even imagine being the person who is paying for this advertisement? And that's where it gets stuck, right in between the Todd English superstore, sex store and ministries, you know, our church welcomes all. - Well, he's probably their best customer. - Right, and to be honest, if nothing else, the fact that those two things are on the same billboard is a crystallization of rural Florida. - Yeah, Lakeland, Florida, no question. - That sums up central Florida to a T. - Yep. - That minister is kind of cute though. (laughing) - No, he looks like Delos didn't even freaks me out. - He looks like her Cameron. - And you know how I feel about her Cameron? - He is kind of cute in a holy Botox kind of way. - Okay, let me rephrase that. I, you know how I feel about how Kirk Cameron used to look. Yeah, because now he looks to me like the guy that convinced all of those people in California like 10 years ago to wear the silver sneakers and the purple blankets. - Yeah. - Like that weird, crazy look right through your television screen, right through you sort of thing. That's when I see him on TV. 'Cause every once in a while I'm flipping through, it was like Kirk Cameron. 'Cause of course I have to watch it 'cause I'm a glutton for punishment and it just creeps me out. - Yeah. - Speaking of glutton for punishment, I'm going to the doctor tomorrow. - Yay! - Yay for my annual checkup. - Huzzah. - Yeah, so that I can be told by, you know, my doctor. Are we even trying? - Your fat doctor. (laughing) - Yes. - Did your doctor really say it like that? - The last few times I've gone in, that's literally the first thing she said when she walks in. Are we even trying, are we even trying to get our blood sugar in check? - You should totally one up or when you walk in and go, are you even trying to do your hair in the morning or is this just white white? (laughing) I understand. - Really, a white lab coat, really? - Really? That's so last year. No, you should just walk in. - It's after Labor Day. - That's so 1987 is more like it, but no. - Okay, can I ask you a question about lab coats and scrubs in general? If the whole purpose of scrubs and lab coats is to be worn in a hospital, you're no use as to wear your real clothes in, put the scrubs on, do whatever you gotta do, take them off so they can be sanitized and put your clothes back on. We see people walking around, you and I have been in Applebee's the last week and we saw people sitting in scrubs. Isn't the whole idea of scrubs? - Yeah, like they live in them? What the fuck? - Yeah, I mean, you go to the grocery store and there's people in scrubs. Isn't the whole idea of wearing the hospital and Dr. Garb? - Well, I think in the hospital wearing scrubs is different than if you work in a doctor's office. - No, but you see plenty of people who are going to the hospital or coming back from the hospital. - Yeah, and they have a lot. - They're still wearing their scrubs. - Mine. - They leave for lunch and they're still wearing their scrubs. - Right, exactly. - I'm with Taffy on this one. - My roommate in college that Rodan had sex with, he used to wear scrubs and he worked like an admission in filing. - Well, that's because-- - He was an asshole. - Oh my God, I'm just thinking about him right now and I'm throwing up a little bit of my mouth but having sex with him. - Yeah. - Everybody has someone. - That is one of the few places where both Rodan and I-- - Have slept. - Have slept. - Yeah, we both had sex with him. - At the same time? - No. - No. - No, but he, yeah, he was gross. - Who had sex with him first? - I did. - Taylor. - But three days into living together. - That was smart. - Because he did the whole, you know, I think it's really cool that you're gay and it's just, it's just really, really, you know, it's really progressive and all that sort of stuff and I have to admit that, you know, I've always been curious about that and all that sort of stuff. So I'm like, okay, fine, whatever, I'll do it. I'll go there. 'Cause again, you're not supposed to shit where you eat. - Right. - We went with the whole philosophical angle about how awesome it is that you can have sex with both a man and a woman and not really care whether it was a man or a woman and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. - And how does Rodan know this? 'Cause Rodan got the exact same speech like six months later. - That's how he got guys to suck his dick. Hello. - Yeah, yeah. And then eventually Rodan and I, you know, compared notes one night on the phone. - Charming. - It was awesome. And that actually is how Rodan and I became friends. Our friendship grew out of hate. - Well, as most do, really. (laughing) - Misery love coming. (laughing) - Nice. - We've been friends ever since. - Yay. - Yay. - Hatred hera. - There you go. (laughing) - Oh my. - So Rodan, you said you had a couple of other stories. Do any of them involve you sticking your dick in anything? - Of course. - No, but I do have a date story. So it is pretty much a what's your name again story. - Okay. - Oh, we have music. - Let's play the music. - Yay. - Fuck, that means I have to edit that in. God damn it. (laughing) - It's good for you. - Or you could just sing it for me right now. - Yeah. - All right, so go ahead. So you had a date. - Yeah, so I've been trying to trick less and less, although, you know, depends on your timeframe here, but-- - Because Rodan is finding the word "scank" to be offensive. (laughing) - No, I'm finding the word "scank" to be a little... - Accurate? - Accurate? - He's finding the word health department to be a little offensive. - Hey, hey, hey. I've been good and I've gotten tested. So let's have better. - There you go. There's our public service announcement. - That's right, good for you. - Get tested. - The more you know. - Do, do, do, do, do. - Right, and stop telling people you play safe, and when you go over there, all they want you is to fuck them with their condom. That's wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong. - Has that happened to you? - Oh, yeah, well-- - Yeah, so you talked about on the show. - Yeah. - With the guy with the great pubic hair. Yeah. - We're back. - No, the great pubic hair guy didn't want to fuck bear back, did he? - No, but I think it was around the same time period where I was talking about-- - How can I keep them to track? - It's the tracks, friend. - Yeah. - Did Popper's people want to fuck with that condoms? - Well, yeah, but it's almost like everybody wants to fuck bear back. The single weird is fucking bizarre. - That's really bad, because I've been reading that like HIV infection rates among gay men is on the rise again, so that's very scary. - There's a good reason for it, you know. So I got asked on a day kind of randomly middle, like it was last Saturday, middle of the day last Saturday, I've been wanting to CGI Joe. So I'm pretty much thinking, he wants to go on a date, wants to go to a movie. We're gonna go see fucking GI Joe, because I just, I need to see it. And the guy online, right? So this is another kind of guy from Adam, for Adam. And he's masculine, kind of country looking, but masculine, you know, just like the rugged eye tend land, kind of looking-- - So he looks like Loretta Lynn. - That's it, exactly. He's 30, you know, his profile says 33, 6, 4, 220, athletic, right? - Okay. - And so, you know, we-- - So he looks like, you know, George Costanza. - No, no, no, this is a little bit weird, this is a little bit different. So he's 6'2", 180 pounds, maybe. I mean, if you, you know, he was really like real thin, and he said he was athletic, right? If you have no muscle whatsoever, you don't qualify as athletic, you qualify as maybe thin, or slender, or walking stick, walking fucking stick, but-- - Swimmers build. - Yeah, no, if, you know, if your skin is flat, you know, if your skin hangs, not because you're so fat, but because you're, you don't have anything in your arm to keep it supported. - I don't dare. - You're not athletic. So, and, you know, says masculine, and all the pictures look masculine, and you talk to him, he's a fucking woman. I mean, it was just, it was horrible. - You can send your letters to-- - I mean, and I have nothing against more feminine guys, and I, you know, I've dated and been with more feminine guys. - How is sprout? - Well, right, exactly, sprout. And a number of other guys, so-- - Shocking. - The other thing is that he talks like, you know, you know, people are on painkillers, and they kind of slur the words like all the time. So he kind of talked a little bit like he was on OxyContin. His teeth looked a little bit like he's been doing math. - Okay, run, run away. - I was gonna say, you were with a real genuine country bumpkin. - Yeah, no, it was just like, you know, like, it looked like the teeth were just kind of moving in his mouth as I talked to him. Just like-- - Oh, God. - Ready to fall out. It looks like you've been chewing on rocks. - Oh, geez, guys. - With every possible way. - Now, and here's the thing, is that he teaches science to seventh graders. He is a certified teacher in the public school system here in the state of Louisiana. - Wow, that's about right. - Yeah, Mr. Sandman, send me a dream. (both laughing) - And so we got G.I. Jones, I'm like, what, you know, we're talking about what he thought of it. And he's like, I've never seen the cartoon. I'm like, dude, if you're a 33, you've seen the cartoon, because you couldn't have avoided it, you know? And so he was like, but, so how old are you? He was like 39. And just kind of looked at him, and I'm just waiting for him to say, okay, no, 45. 'Cause he looked like he should be in his mid-40s at that point, so. - So he probably was, but he figured he was. - He was hatching his bed like I wouldn't call him out on it once he said he was older than what he was. - And was he right? Did you call him out on it? - No, I let it go, 'cause at that point, I'm like, I've never seen you again. - 'Cause you, of course, look 51. - You bastard. - Nice. - So, I know. - Friendship weren't out of hate, remember? (both laughing) - Yeah. So, I don't know if I want to date anybody else here anymore. I just, I don't think I can take anything. - So, are you back to tricking then? Is that what you're saying? - No. Oh yeah, no, last night I had a complete pity party because, you know, I think I've talked to both Lucky and Sprout over the course of the last week. So, I just sat at home and watched "Alien Resurrection" and-- - Well, of course you did. - And just cried myself to sleep at like 10 o'clock on a Saturday night. - Well, Dan, that makes me sad. - I know, and you and I should just not-- - I mean, it makes me laugh a little bit, but it makes me sad. (both laughing) Sorry, go ahead. - Yeah, and I should have gone up to the bar and I should have had a good time. I just wasn't, I just, the last few weeks between them, they happened with the Greek and-- - Yes, because what everyone wants to see at the bar is the sad man, the sad old man, sitting kid crying in his brain. (both laughing) - There's a winning movement-- - There's a winning movement. - We made fun of when we were 23. (both laughing) - I know, exactly. The problem is, is that even though I'm 33, I look younger than a lot of the mid-20s guys here in the bar. - Only to you. - No, no, no, no, no, no, no. - No. - To anybody with an eye. (both laughing) - Well, cornhole in sheep takes a lot out of you, so I can understand why they might be a little rough looking. - Jesus, take the wheel. (both laughing) - Oh, that's okay, that's awesome. - I'm gonna drink my jacket. - Old, sad people can be fun. (both laughing) - Speaking of which we met, Tom takes on the world. (both laughing) - That's right, speaking of old, sad people, no, we love Tom. - Oh, wow. - Tom give me gifts, so Tom is always welcome. Let's get real. - Yeah, no, Tom, we met Tom. He was in town, Labor Day weekend, right? - Mm, yes. - Yeah, 'cause it was last weekend, so it was Labor Day weekend, so we met him for coffee, and he's a really nice guy. It's Tom takes on the world as the name of his podcast. You guys have to check it out, but he was very funny, and we all just sat around and were just silly, and I felt bad, though, because he was staying in town with a friend, and we all had to leave, and I think he was kind of expecting one of us to drive him back to his friend's house, and we just sorta left him there. - Oh, no, really? - Oh, my God. - He would know that. - Yeah, well, it was one of these, we said, well, I have to call my friend to come and pick me up, but I went, oh, okay, well, we were going in the opposite direction of where he was living, so what are you saying? So I was like, bye, these are the sorta went, oh, okay, we'll see you later. And then I was just like, I got in the car, and I said to Buffalo, we probably should have offered to take him someplace, but we gotta be, you know, with someplace else, we had to go, so, so sorry, Tom, I, hopefully you're not still sitting at the Starbucks. - We've been there since then, we haven't seen him. - Oh, we have been at that Starbucks, yeah. - Of course we have, because it's the Starbucks. - Sure, that's good. - How many times this week have you and I been in Starbucks together? - I think, well, how many days were there this week? (laughing) - How many days are there in the week at four, and that's how many times have you been in Starbucks together? - Now, you're probably keeping the recession from hitting that particular Starbucks. - We are, we're doing our best. - Absolutely. - Though last night, Taffy and Tank were out, they went and saw Inglorious Bastards, and I was doing charting last night, so Bob Lew and I were together, and Taffy had mentioned that they may join us for a drink afterwards, and in the middle of the movie, I sent our text messages going, "Need a reason to come to Starbucks?" Three words, "Biggest Fupa ever." - Oh my God! - Yes, and I was like, "What?" - Yeah, so she comes in, and after we sit down and get settled, now the woman is sitting three feet away from us, she goes, "So where's this Fupa you been talking about?" (laughing) - That might be true, actually, I might have actually met. - Nice. - Yeah, yeah, what are you gonna do? - So, but it was big, and it was pendulous. - Oh, yeah, the woman was just about trippin' over it. - I think it might have been the biggest one I've ever seen. It was very impressive, there's no question. (laughing) - It was an impressive Fupa. - It was impressive. - Now we're gonna get another one-star review because we've talked about fat people. - We're not talking about fat people, 'cause she wasn't actually, that's just it. - That we said that, yeah. - Incredibly overweight, it was just this huge... - Pendulous. - It was pendulous, that's the only way to describe it. It was impressive. - It was a big shame. - I see the doctor immediately did not pass code and I collect $200. - Yeah, it was some big shit, no question. - Yeah. - And, I made Taffy laugh 'til she cried. - You did that on Friday night too. - I enjoy it more when you make her pee. - I think she may have pee'd a little, but Friday night I think she may have pee'd a little. - Friday night, he actually made me laugh until it hurt me. It actually, where your side hurts type thing? Yeah, I was in pain. - So, not hurt you in a good way like Tank does. - Mm, gosh, thank you for that. - Now we've lost her. (laughing) - Anyways, go ahead, I'm listening. - So, now we were talking about, I forget what we were talking about. I think we were talking about the need that you said that you felt as though I needed to get laid. - No, I did not say you needed to get laid. That is not what I said. I said, no, I said you need to do what Tank and I lovingly referred to as the dirty fuck, which is where you're not, you know, there's no candles involved. It's the grab my hair, shove me up against a countertop, dirty fuck me. And I told him, I said, this is what you need, you need a dirty fuck. And he goes, so what? I need Tabasco in a bag. - Oh my God. - Oh my God. - Thought, I honestly thought that I was going to have a heart attack. I had like my knees pulled up to my face and my face buried in it. I was laughing so hard at him. Oh my God. That and in Babaloon made me laugh. Saturday night, at just his, or Friday night, at just his sheer Babalooness. - His Babalooness, I like that. - I called him and today and, well, I'll tell you why, okay, yeah, I don't say. You tell the story and I'll tell you why. - Okay, well he apparently, and now I've been told, 'cause he did come in earlier before we started taping and say, so are you going to tell the story about my story? - Yes, of course. - And I said, probably. And he said, well, what if I didn't want you to tell that? I said, that doesn't matter. And then he said, well, can you at least explain what the whole story instead of just the punchline? So I said, yeah, sure. So he apparently goes to tell us some story, again, I don't know how we got talking about it, but he goes to tell us some story about how he got his words mixed up. And in the process of the story, he got his words mixed up. He was talking about a clock on a wall. Now, Rodan, if a clock is not digital, what is it? - Analog. - Thank you. - Thank you. - Okay, but he decided he was going to call it a hand clock. - No, it's not, he called it a hand time. - He called it a hand time, that's right. He did. (both laughing) And, of course, then it's one of these where Taffy and I are looking at each other like, what is, what the hell? - The whole bucket of hand time. - And all that's doing is getting him more flustered. And then he told the story completely wrong and pissed off. But we're doing the whole thing in the mirror. We're putting both of our hands up in the air and clasping them together and going, oh my God, it's midnight. (both laughing) - It's like 30, yeah, it was. - Yeah, I said to him, as we were leaving, 'cause you were listening to me for AIDS walk. The next way, I put both my arms completely out to my sides and said, so I'm meeting you at 9.15 tomorrow. - Yeah. - He wasn't happy with us at all. No, he pretty much told me to go fuck myself and went to the corner. - It was awesome. - But he said that when he gets to tell him stories, he said he can completely sympathize with you, Rodan, because Taffy and I have this habit of interrupting him. - Yeah, it gets your flow max. - And he gets them all flustered and it gets them all mixed up. And the story that he was trying to tell was that his mom asked him what time it was and the one hand, the little hand was on the eight and it was supposed to be 8.15, but he said it was 8.03 because the minute hand was on the three and then his mom got mad at him and yelled at him for something so, which when he told the story the second time, every company said, that's kind of a funny story, but he was like, will you fuck me up and oh, he was all yelled at me in the car on the way home. So now we've been doing, I've been saying hand time at him for the last two days and Taffy called him today. - I think he's just, I love the idea of you guys just sitting like saying what time it is by somewhere you're handsome. - It was awesome, you were doing that, it was fantastic. - 9.15. Except we're doing it like two liters where all of us would be like, hey, yeah, I'm breaking hands up. - Right, yeah, I can totally see that. I can picture you guys doing that in the photo Starbucks. - It totally happened, it was worth it. - Nice, hey, can I go back to something real quick? - Sure, yes please, of course. - The whole comment about the dirty fuck, I totally know what you're talking about. - Thank you, thank you. - 'Cause the last good dirty fuck I had was with the Greek and hell yeah. - Yeah, no, there's something-- - That's awesome. - It's not romantic, it's not, it's just, bam. - You got it, I don't need, the dirty fuck is, foreplay is pretty much ripping some part of a clothing off. - Right. - There is no, it's, and it's not quick, that's not the point, it's not a quick fucker. That's a quickie, a dirty fuck is just, I'm gonna take my time and at the end, you're barely going to be conscious. (laughing) - Yeah, no, I am with you because this one looks like you have so much, so much energy pent up inside of you, you just need to get it out and that adds to the only thing that's stopping you. - People are either turning off their iPads or jerking off right now. - Wow, god bless 'em. - Based on my Facebook status, or based on my Facebook comments, I'm willing to bet you most of them are jerking off. - Oh, geez. - Wow, not kidding, I'm-- - You are nice. - They enjoy your modesty apparently. (laughing) - No, talking about you and Bob Bluehound are dirty fuck. - No. - Mm-hmm, mm-hmm, mm-hmm, so. - Anyone else is there to talk about this? - I almost called the Greek this weekend for a dirty fuck, even though we broke up. - You almost did it? - You did. - I almost did. Saturday night, I was just like, I just need to get this out of me. - Literally. - Yeah. You are a mess. - But you're a mess. - Yeah. - Yes, I know, thanks. - Bless this mess. - I went to see in glorious bastards. - What do you think? I've not seen it yet, I want to. - I thought it was really good. I would-- - I'd like to see it as well. - I would go see it again, I thought it was really good. - I saw a GI Joe in District 9. - What do you think of District 9? - And District 9, it took me, you know, 'cause on my Facebook comments, a lot of people were like, I don't know what to think of it. And I can see, I get that, because you go in expecting one thing and it's something completely different. - Yeah. - And it, you know, it takes a while for it to absorb and you just realize humans are a bunch of assholes. And that's all I could think of. - No, but it's pretty spot on though too. - I know, it doesn't make you feel good about being human. - No. - And I'm sure what it was trying to do is not make you feel good about being American. - An asshole. - It was not, it was not based in the U.S. any way, shape or form. Because had it had been, it would have been protested, I'm sure. - Had it had been? - Yeah, but it makes you feel guilty for being. - I thought it was good, I mean. - It's a good movie. - I just, I know, and I know it was shot on like, you know, minuscule budget and it didn't feel as cheap as something like Cloverfield. - Ugh. - Babaloo loves Cloverfield. I thought it was stupid, but. - Cloverfield, the scene where the guy gets eaten and the camera's off, that's the only thing I remember from that movie. - I remember when the thing comes out of her chest. - Chest, yeah. - When she's behind the curtain. - That's just like, oh, this, which is more shot like reality style. I got that, I was with that, I just the whole, I'm filming a YouTube video for 25 minutes. - You made me laugh. You tickle me. - Did we all watch Top Model, the season premiere of Top Model? - Yeah. - I did, I did. What did you think? - I was bored. - Were you really? - Oh, I liked it, I thought it was, I thought it was shaped up to be pretty good. I guess I haven't seen the first episode in so long that I just wasn't really sure what to expect. I expected more auditioning stuff, I expected some of the drama from the casting call where they had to send people home from New York, where they had the riots and you know. - No, well that would make her look in a bad light, so of course they weren't gonna. - And I thought she looked great on this particular. I know she's dropped some weight and stuff and the hair looked good dark. Normally she comes off as an absolute smacked ass, but she looked really good. - Oh, she kind of did come off. - She looked good and I'm kinda looking forward to the models 'cause there wasn't the same set of models and they didn't pick the same. - But did you notice that every single motto was in flats on that when they did the last judgment thing, where usually they yell at them to always wear heels. They specifically want these girls to look as little as they can and they were told to wear flats and when you watch it, every single one of them has on ballet flats or ballet slippers or tennis shoes, which normally she always yells at the models, you know, when you come to panel, you have to have on heels, you're a model. Nope, every single one of them have on flats and apparently they were told to make them look smaller. - She can tower over them when she's just gonna buy it and they can suckle from her tire teeth and you know, when she's set on the line. - That's the title of this episode, suckle, suckle, tire teeth, that's the episode title. - I actually, I don't, I'm not one of the folks who is hating on tire banks because I think she is- - No, I like her, I mean. She's turned her life into an empire. - No, absolutely, I mean, that is very respectable that she took, you know, what was, and I say this, you know, ridiculously, but you know, quote unquote, just a model and turned it into something that is enormous. - No, she's bankable, I mean, she's got a American Idol style granted, it's not as big, but she's got, I'm sure it's more profitable, you know, style- - Oh yeah. - Hit on her hands, that is worldwide. - Yeah. - No, I agree with you. - You know, she's styling herself after Oprah, and I mean, she's positioned herself into a place where, when Oprah retires, we're gonna start talking about Tyra with respect at some point. - I don't know about that. - She's a respect. - We're not talking crazy things now. - That's just crazy talk. - Well, no, but think of where Oprah was 10 years ago. Think about the types of things Oprah had on her show 10 years ago. - No, she said that she's gonna have a crooks clan and everything like that on, yeah, I know what you're saying. - Yeah, right, it may have been more than 10 years ago. - No, it was, I think it was like 15, maybe between 10 and 15, but I get what you're saying too. I am glad that the Jesus freak didn't come to the show. - Yeah, me too. - And it was kind of obvious when they did the thing where they showed once all of the final 14 were picked, and they have where they have all the Molly in the group shot, that she was clearly, it was they photoshopped a picture of her off to the side. If you go back and watch that, it's not like the rest of the pictures and I thought, well, that's weird that they put her in there. And then when they showed up and said that she wasn't there, 'cause clearly she had had a nervous breakdown or something 'cause she was a cuckoo. - Yeah, no, she was nothing on the verge of when they went to the house. - She reminded me of Valerie. - Oh, wow. - That's like calling people's names out left and right that I know, right? - I know. - I have a friend who's-- - Crazy. - And she's crazy and it's-- - She was lesbian now, she's straight. - Married with two kids. - But she had a crush on you for a long time. - Yes. - She wanted me to be the father of her children. - Right. - And no, Taffy, I didn't. - Mm-hmm, sure. That's the long last secret I'm allowed to know. - She did not stick as BP in her VJJ. - I wouldn't have stuck my PP in her VJJ even if she wanted me to, that would have done with a minimal amount of fuss and muss. (laughing) It would have been clinical and, you know, antibacterial, and-- - Oh, lord. - It would have been lab coats and speculums and-- (laughing) - Oh, no, no. - I know speculums have nothing to do with that. I just, I'm not-- - I just, I like that you said it, it's an awesome word. - Speculum, that's like a, we should do a word. Okay, here's what we're gonna do. - Okay. - Send in, people need to send in the word of the day to thepotism@copilotgmail.com, and we have to figure out a way to include it, not talk about it, but we need to figure out a way to include the word in a conversation. - And then when the word comes up, so all of a sudden-- - I'll do that-- - No, no, no, no, no, there you go. - And maybe at the beginning of the episode, I'll say, the password is-- - Glutoris. (laughing) - Oh, we back can't be the word, we talk about glutorisis all the time. - So it means we do something like vacuum cleaner, something that has nothing to do with no relevance to what we're talking about at all. - Like purity or niceness. (laughing) - So I can say-- - Good or true. (laughing) - Oh, can I say real quick a follow up to the conversation that I've had over the last couple of episodes, my father is aware that he is blocked. - Oh, really? - Yes, my father is aware that he is blocked because now what's happening is I wasn't getting his emails, but I was getting all of the responses from people. So I was still in a way, in a roundabout way, getting the emails, so I pretty much sent an email, a blanket email to my entire family saying, remove me from the list of people, unless it involves family matters, don't send me forwards. And then I sent my father a singular email saying, pretty much, yeah, I blocked you and it's your fault. And I'm sorry you chose to continue sending me emails, but I had no other choice. - I don't blame you a bit. - And that you're gonna continue on your socialist agenda? - Yes, pretty much. Because you know, I lie, but yeah. So that's pretty much, and I haven't heard from him since. That was on, what night did I send that? That was Wednesday or Thursday night. I came home and there was this big email from him, so. - Well. - We'll see. I'm sure it's an ongoing story of the days of our lives, but for now that's where we are with that. And one of our listeners sent me a really nice, lengthy email, and I can't remember his name and I apologize, but sent me a nice email and what his thoughts were about that. And I wanna thank him for taking the time. I didn't respond to the email, but I'm responding now. And thank you. Thank you for your kind words and your support. - Aw. - So I have planned three vacations today. - One vacation that takes place this month, one vacation that takes place next month, one vacation that takes place in November. - Well, aren't you a Beverly Hillbilly? - No, no, that doesn't make any sense, but okay. - I know, I just, I could think of what to say. - So yes, I am taking Ms. Lollipop on her first official mother dot her college visit, which is out of state. - Aw. - We're going to one of the big, big 10 schools. And through my infinite powers of persuasion, I have managed to score two tickets to the home football game. - Wow, okay, no, that doesn't sound like a vacation in a traditional sense. That sounds like a college tour trip, as you described. - Or the college tour trip. And unfortunately, though, it does involve, you know, hotels and planning and getting there and making sure that, you know, the Dean of Admissions knows we're coming and trying to get the tickets was an event all to itself anyways. But, so now-- - I'm sure, but you have to promise to blow for those. - Well, considering that this is a televised game. - The boys of K to beta pie. (laughing) - Exactly. The boys of-- - Which is why I'll be meeting Tappy there. - That's right, you'll be performing the filet show. - Oh, from your mouth to God's ears. - Wow, no. So, yeah, so we got, we have pretty good seats, although by football standards, they're not because they're down by the field where everyone else wants to sit up really high so they can see the game, but we want to watch the cheerleaders. So, I was very happy that I got those. - Mm. Second vacation is Tank and I are going away for our anniversary, which I'm still in the process of planning. And then the third is my children were accepted to perform in the Walt Disney World Thanksgiving parade. So, that's lovely and wonderful, except that means I have to be up at Disney World the entire week of Thanksgiving. - Oh, like you mind that? - Well, you're right, that would be lots of fun and that would be great, except the fact that they have practiced Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday and perform on Thursday. So, I basically get to be the, okay, I can go to Disney World, but I can't do anything because I have to go, they're practicing at Wildwater Sports. - Oh. - So, yeah, so I get to sit in an auditorium and watch them, that's going to be my four fun days of Disney World, which sucks, which means, Taylor, you better plan. You better plan accordingly, you got time built up to take off, baby. - Well, I was planning on taking a Friday, but I could maybe take a day or two off, that's a problem. - If he needs to suffer, Taylor needs to suffer. - No, Taylor will be the reason why I'm being suffering. - Why do you have to sit in the auditorium and watch them practice? Why can't you go, I mean, Lollipop has a car. - Yeah, but that means the two of us would have to drive up there. - Okay, Ben, you can't complain that you're going to sit and watch her in auditorium. - But no, actually, that's not true, because she could drop us off at Disney World and then she could drive her and the little is having to do practice. - Yeah. - Brilliant. Yes, there's a chance, by the way, that your-- - Wait a second, hello, I'm not going to be up there the whole time with you, so I will have a car. - That is also true, that's fabulous. There's also a chance that your services may be called upon. - How's Pussy do I got to eat now? - Not those kind of services. Although I did eat at the Brown Derby tonight and I did give all that. - I sold Bobaloo that story. - Yeah, I told Tank that story too, we were waiting there, he would just shook his head and like, good Lord, but you might be called upon for the ultimate in Huffington requests. - The ultimate? - Ultimate. - It smells nice. - Fuck you. - Oh, that's right, it does smell nice, thank you. Fuck you, Taylor. - Your Brown Derby smells like peppermint. - No, it smells like lavender, we've just discussed this. Anyways, I might be asking you to overnight babysit our children. - Aw, what? - Yep, you might be in charge of the Huffington Manor and its occupants. - Oh. - Both Feline, K9, and human. We'll see, we'll talk about it, we'll see. We're still in the planning processes. - Can that be a video podcast? - No, because you can't put their pictures on. Although I did promise-- - I can make them wear masks, I can make them wear freaky masks like in the visitors or whatever that movie is with Liv Tyler. And they could have Bobaloo tied to a chair. - That would be awesome. - 'Cause you're in our home. - That would be awesome. - With over your dog's head, the same mask? (laughing) - I thought you were gonna say that you're gonna make them wear masks and I was gonna be like, bring out the gimp masks because we have those already. But anyways. - I have seen The Little East Huffington's Hello Kitty ball gag, it's very-- - Oh, come on, I have photo art for the episode. I wonder if I can find a picture of a Hello Kitty ball gag. - Hello Kitty ball gag. - That would be awesome. - My ball gag's been sent by the Jonas Brothers. (laughing) (laughing) - So, okay, I'm going completely back to a story we talked about like 45 minutes ago, but I have a question. So you were talking about the VMAs. Was it Kanye West that ran up when Taylor Swift got her award? - I don't know anything about it. We watched the Madonna thing and Katy Perry and Joe Perry did. We will rock you and Russell Brand came out and I went and I'm gonna go back to watching 300. - No, I'll pick one. - Well, apparently-- - Kanye West is kind of a douchebag. So I really don't care what he does. - Well, what did he do to poor Taylor Swift? - Apparently she was getting an award for like best, best new artist or best video or something. And he ran up while she was giving her acceptance speech and said this award should have went to Beyonce. And then like he used all of her time for her to talk and then they wouldn't let her talk anymore. They played the music and they got her off the stage. I don't think that's very nice. - That's just wrong. - I'll be honest with you. I'm gonna be honest with you. - I'm gonna beat up on a 15 year old girl. - Right. - That makes me a bad-ass man. - Whatever. - No, it makes you a douche. But okay. Sorry, that was all. - Kanye's a douche. You can go to our blog, which is podismicopilot.com. You can email us at podismicopilot@gmail.com. Call us at 206-202-5165. Be our friends on Facebook at okay. So I love podismicopilot. And I think that's it. - Wow, that was a great time to snout. That was good. - Thank you. Well, because we're already at about an hour and 75 minutes. (all laughing) - Thanks, Mr. Handtime. - Well, some people know. - By the time. - And the time might actually clunk together all of these random pieces and drips and drabs that we have going on. But enough about Taffy's vagina. Then it'll end up being well over. - This is like a collage of podismicopilot. - A cornucopia. It's a podcasting bouia base. All right, everybody, this is Taylor. - And Rodan. - Have a good week, everybody. Bye-bye. - Bye-bye. (upbeat music) - You've been listening to "Hot Is My Co-Pilot" with Taylor the Latte boy, Taffy Carlisle Huffington, and Rodan. Doesn't your life seem just a little bit brighter? See you next time. (upbeat music) (upbeat music) (upbeat music) (upbeat music)