Pod Is My Copilot
PiMC: Episode 115 - It's For Leather Daddies With Asthma, or Swordwrestling!
Tonight, Rodan clears his schedule for the high holy days, Taffy has skyrockets in flight in a TJ Maxx, and Taylor goes shopping! All this and poppers!!!! We're podismycopilot.com.
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(upbeat music) - Did you know that Ethel Merman was married to Ernest Bork9 for only 32 days? Did you care? It's time for another episode of Potty's My Co-Pilot with Taylor the Latte Boy, Taffy Carlisle Huffington, and Rodan. Take it away, kids. Swahili, which is, hello. In some language that I completely forgot. I'm sorry, you have to do this over. (laughing) - I used that the language. - I was gonna say, isn't Swahili a language? - Yes, I'm sorry. All right, it is Kisswahli. - Watch your mouth. - I know. - It's hello, it's hello in Swahili. And you've just download, unfortunately, for you, episode 115 of Potty's My Co-Pilot. I am Taffy Carlisle Huffington, and I'm joined by my fabulous co-hosts, Taylor the Latte Boy. - Hey, everybody. - And the gentle lover, Rodan. (laughing) - I don't know if they call me gentle, but okay. - Well, you know, like gentle bend the bear. (laughing) - That last wink needed 12 stitches for his butthole afterwards, so. - Okay, we're like, what, four seconds in, really? (laughing) - I know, right? Wow. - Why does anything about your seabiscuit? So it's okay. - So how are my children this evening? - Oh, okay. (laughing) - We are good, mother. - So we're starting off with you, you know, using your dominating presence. Pretty much peeing on us that you're the alpha dog. - We have pretty much, I mean. - Well, was there a doubt? - Thank you. I was gonna go there, but you know, considering last night at Starbucks, you pretty much announced, you know, with my 13 year old in the room that I had the biggest penis of all of us. (laughing) Thank you. - Nice. - Like she didn't know that. - Well, that's exactly what I said. Like she already knows that. - Like she's seen you at PTA meetings. - Thank you. - Or Christian orgy cult member meetings, whatever the hell those things are that you have to go to. - With the hood and the mask. (laughing) - And the birding cross. - The sacrificial lamb, so to speak. (laughing) - Actually, I was thinking about that scene from DaVinci coat, I don't know why. - God, the one where he's like laid out with a pentagram drawn around with all the candles. Isn't that also a scene from the craft too? I'm just putting it out there. - I think they have one somewhere to lay out. - I think they have one somewhere to lay out. (whimpering) - The craft is a great movie. The craft is a great mid-90s craft fest. I enjoy the craft very much. - Oh, is there a bruiser ball? - Bruiser ball cast. (laughing) - I can fly! - I can fly! (laughing) - I can fly! I can fly! - You know, the Covenant is also one of those types of movies. However, I watched it again recently and the man candy in it is actually-- - I was gonna say, that's the craft with boys where no one wears shirts. - Exactly. - It takes place in a world where shirts don't exist. - Heaven? (laughing) - Well, and everyone's a swimmer and they've got, you know-- - Well, that's how it is in real life. - Yeah, of course. - In your sick, deluded brain. So what'd you do this weekend? - Uh, Rodan, you can go first. - I had a date. - Shocking! (laughing) - Date, not a trick. - We've been going on lots of dates lately. - Um, you know, it's weird 'cause everyone's asked me who I like, who's next in the queue, I guess? Like, it's now like, it's like Newy Flix, but-- - Well, it's like boy Flix, charming. (laughing) - Well, I didn't really have anybody-- - Do they have the same categories? Comedy, tragedy, horror. (laughing) - They pretty much only have tragedy and horror, apparently. I can't remember now. - Now, tell me something, hold on. Rodan, how do you prepare for a date? Do you, like, do the girl thing where you put music on and you get ready and you look at your-- - No, that's actually part of the story, so-- - Okay, all right, well, please then. - He shaves his vagina. - Yeah, that's it. - Into an arrow pointing sound. (laughing) - So let's hear the dating ritual, allah, Rodan. - Okay, so, you know, we were talking about how, I'm just like, all of a sudden, I lost my train of thought, but-- - That derailed years ago, dear. - Yeah, tell me about it, my goodness. Anyway, so I was talking to this guy on Adam for Adam and he's brand new gay. - Like brand new just out? - Just out, just kind of admitted to himself, so he's like, you know, 31 days. - Yeah, you're his, his lake gay? He's dipping his toe into you? - Apparently. - Well, no, no, no, he's had other experiences, only, like, oral and stuff like that, so-- - And it was a camp, it was, you know, with the head of the counselors. - Nice. - I mean, since, well, he's recently divorced from a woman. - Oh. - I mean, his-- - Done, done, done. - Literally, like, four weeks, so, and he was only in, he's only been in town for maybe two weeks. - Did he tell you what Lee Ann Rhimes is really like? - Oh, come on. (laughing) - Nice, though. Touche. Well played. - That big Mary, oh my God. Who the hell is he trying to get? Okay, I'm sorry, go ahead, Rodan. - Isn't he a hockey player? - Is that what we're talking about? Is that what we're calling it now? So, the sword wrestling is hockey. (laughing) - Sword wrestling. - Sword fighting in my mouth. All right, good. (laughing) - Sword wrestling. - Sword fighting it. - Sword wrestling. That might be a title. (laughing) - All right. - Taffy's gonna have to come up with something if she wants to knock that off the title last time. (laughing) So, all right, so, I'm sorry, so, he's-- - So, he's freshly gay, so, and we've been talking on the phone all week, and, you know, he was saying how much you wanted to, you know, to spend the night, or me to spend the night with him, and he's an area director for a hotel chain. So, you know, he's in, like, the suite over, and one of the hotels over in Rustin. - So, he's not local, he's just in town. - No, no, he's local, he just moved-- - The new girl in town. - Local is 35 miles, so, he's in that, kind of, local vicinity. And so, I decided on Saturday night that we're gonna get together. You know, we are, no, I'm sorry, Friday night, we decide we're gonna get together. And, for dinner and go to, probably, CGI Joe, or in glorious bastards. You know, he, all of a sudden, on Friday morning, asks me what we need to do for the state. And I'm like, what do you mean? He's like, do I need to get you flowers, do I need you chocolates? And I'm like, okay, you're not very funny right now. 'Cause, I mean, you're just kind of creeping me out. 'Cause it was just the way he was asking, he was like, you know, just like, all of a sudden, he was clueless on how to interact with other human beings. (laughing) It was very bizarre, just kind of thing. So I tell him, no flowers or whatever. And so he brings it up again, like two hours later, like while I'm in the middle of a meeting or something, whether or not he should get me flowers. I'm like, dude, give me flowers, I'm leaving. - Do you work with this person? How can you bring it up to you in a meeting? - No, I mean, he was texting me. Well, obviously, I'm meeting. - Oh, okay. - Yeah. - Dork love, gotcha. (laughing) Nerd love. - Texting. - Ugh, texting is a perfectly normal method of communication. - Right now, I'm fully aware of that. - I'm fully aware of texting, not when I'm in a meeting, but I understand. - Excuse me, you have, you engage in texting when you're in meetings all the time. And by meeting, I mean lunches with me. - Well, that is true. (laughing) And I do, and I have been known to text him a couple of times while he's been in a meeting. - Yeah. - So, yeah, that is true. I stand corrected, sir. - Okay, then. So, you know, I get over there. Of course, I had to go to the gym first, because I'm back on my routine. So, you know, regardless of what else I've got planned, I had to go to the gym. - You're dedicated, that's commendable. - Yeah, it was kind of stupid, though, 'cause I had to rush a workout in before I could go on the date, which is just weird. But, so I drive over there, which is like, you know, 30 minutes, get there, and he only had one picture online, right? It looked fairly recent, and it looked like, you know, it was a bit small. It was like a thumbnail kind of thing. Well, so, I go in, knock on his little door. (laughing) - Is that what we're calling his asshole now? (laughing) - So, I'm not gonna store, which is right next to, you know, the check-in area in the hotel, which is right next to it. - It's called the taint. - The taint. - Right. - God. - Focus. - Sorry, I was focusing on the taint. Oh, there's a title. - So, he opens the door. Damn it, he opens the door, and the one thing he's learned from gay society so far is to steal other people's pictures, apparently. - Are you kidding? - Oh, no. - The only way he, that picture, was ever of him, was if he had reconstructive surgery. - Was it that bad, or were you pleasantly surprised? - That bad. Well, I mean, it wasn't, I mean, but here's the thing, is he's not unattractive, he just doesn't look at all, like the person I thought it was gonna meet. - So, did you ask him about that? I mean, did you say, dude, what's up with the pictures? - Yeah. - No, I didn't, I didn't call him out on it. You know, I'm figuring, okay, you may be so be nervous, or whatever, so I did not call him out on it, and I should have, because it threw me off my game the whole time. - Okay, Rodin, when you were looking at his pictures, did you really think Zac Efron was going to be coming to her? (laughing) - No, I mean, it was like an average guy looking picture, you know, so I was thinking, you know, I'm gonna see an average guy, probably, you know, a little bit fatter than his picture, you know, I was adding 20 pounds to his picture and figure that's what I'd see at the door. - I had 20 pounds, lose two inches of hair. - Gotcha. - Yeah, exactly, that's pretty much what I was expecting. And, no, not at all. And so, he's, you know, he, every once in a while, we're talking on the phone, he would, like, speak in Hebrew, Hebrew. I was like-- - What? - That's kind of weird. Well, he opens the door, and I knew he was Jewish, but he's not just, he's Israeli Jewish, which I've never met anybody who is Israeli. - Well, you're in Monroe, Louisiana, I mean. - Well, exactly. - You can't swing a dead cat without hitting a synagogue in Monroe, Louisiana. (laughing) - There's Pentecostals lighting their torches right now. Yeah, so anyway, so I was just a little bit, you know, taking it back, because that's not what his picture looked like either. So, it was just, you know, not only was he different looking, but he was a different ethnicity than I was expecting. He didn't look Jewish enough for you. - That's what I mean, but anyways, so we-- - He walks in with, you know, a jar of guffeltafish. (laughing) - It was Ryan, wasn't it? - Exactly. You know, we complain about Rodan's stories taking too long and yet we interrupt him time and time again, maybe we are to blame. - There's a reason why they go so long, dammit. - Go ahead, sorry. - If we actually took out all of our interruptions, his stories, 45 seconds long. - Exactly, exactly. (laughing) - So, we were supposed to go to this fancy restaurant in Rustin and when he answered the door, I was like, ooh. - Applebee's it is. - Exactly, we went to Applebee's. - Oh my God, you're kidding me. - I kid you not. - So, you have a looks to restaurant ratio scale that you take boys out on? - Well, he was buying dinner and, you know, which is fine, but here's the thing is that so he also made his position much more important than it really was. You know, I was expecting a little bit more, kind of professional, he was more retail manager, which is fine and I'm not judging on that. It was just, he made himself into something that he wasn't and, you know, his picture was somebody that he wasn't. So. - Like the way you make yourself a top online? - What? - You bitch. - Nothing, continue. (laughing) - We'll play, we'll play Taylor. - Yeah, that was actually, yeah, anyway. So, we go to Applebee's supposed to move you afterwards. We just missed the movie by 10 minutes. How that happened? I have no idea. - Well, when you drive three miles an hour to the movie theater, I can understand how that might happen. (laughing) - They have a huge theater lesson. I did not know that. We missed the movie by 10 minutes, coincidentally enough. So, we just got dessert and then we went back to the hotel room and hung out for a little while to which, you know, apparently he was thinking he was getting laid and I thought I was gonna make a quick exit and neither one of us got our wish. So, we just got a sat around his hotel room for about an hour, an awkward conversation, which, you know, I'm trying to ask questions about the marriage, the divorce, the how you just became gay, you know, trying to make conversation, trying to lead you-- (laughing) - So, the things that guys that are freshly out of the closet want to talk about. - So, you were once married, what was that like? - Well, you know, I'm trying to ask him about his life, right? 'Cause I figured the worst, you know, the best thing that I could get out of this is baby new friend. - So, you've been traumatized in the last six months, tell me all about that, it really turns me on. (laughing) - Well, and so, you know, his response was pretty much, so tell me about yourself, as he stares lovingly at me like a puppy dog. It was, it was just that, just tell me about yourself. Dude, don't fucking just say, tell me about yourself, ask me a goddamn question, is my pet peeve? Ask questions, ask me what I was in high school, just ask me something. - So, did the evening end with a kiss? Did it end with a firm handshake? Okay, it did. - I kissed him. - On the taint. - There was no taint kissing, so. - Well, it was the first date. - And then I texted him when I got home and said, "Thank you for a nice evening." - I love you again. - Don't call me, I'll call you. Yeah, I love you again. (laughing) (laughing) - Nice! - I got her, yes! - That was good, you caught me off guard. I thought for a second, did I hear him say that actually? Nice. - So that was my date, and I pretty much came home and all I really wanted to do at that point was just find a trick. I didn't, but that's what I wanted. Just to get the. - Get the Jew off of ya? - The Jew, oh, we're gonna have letters. - Oh, we're gonna have letters, everyone. - Ryan doesn't listen to us anymore. (laughing) - So yeah, so that was my lovely date. - Well, it could've been worse. It could've taken you to the RV's. - No, it could've been. He could've not had his hand off or something, but. - Aw, is it really? - I know, really. - He did take like six work calls while I was there. - No, negative by. - Well, and I understand, I've been in that situation, so I understand what it's like, but on a first date, I normally get something controlled before then, so. - Maybe he'll turn out to be a new friend. - Yeah, I mean, that's kinda what I'm, oh man, I don't care. (laughing) I'm just like, I don't care, I just don't care. - Apparently he won't be listening to the podcast because, you know, you're not gonna listen. - No, and I was wise this time, 'cause I did not tell him about the podcast before the date. - No, that's good. - So that way. - So we didn't know for you. - Yeah, okay. Excellent. - Excellent. - Hey, I need a transition. - Okay, well, here's your transition is, I too had an interesting lunch date that I have purposely withheld from Taylor. - Oh, I forgot, you did it. You managed to go three days without telling me the story. - That's right. He knew about the story right after it happened on Friday, and he knew that there was a story, but I told him I was gonna save it for the podcast because of the opening. - And then, you said you couldn't wait. - And then I said, no, no, I wanna tell you. And he's like, he goes, I defy you. He goes, I dare you to not tell me. I don't think you can make it. So of course then, you know, his whole therapist reverse psychological shit. So I'm like, okay, fine, so, but I, but challenge extended, challenge accepted. So he does not know anything about the story. - Okay, this is so exciting. I get to hear a Taffy story that has not been told to me. - Well, it might not be an exciting story, but it was just one that you still don't know what it is. So that's good. Okay, so let me preface this by saying that one of the reasons I did not tell him the story was because I know when he hears the first couple lines of the story, he's gonna get angry with me. And then once I tell the story, he'll be fine. That's one of the reasons why I put it off. Okay, so Friday, I did something that I have not done since I was in college. I know not double anal before you should go there. - Touch the black person. - Oh my God. - That was much better than mine. That was good. - Davon Williams, I'll never forget it. All right, anyways, I can't believe you brought that up. Okay, you have to understand that before I get into my actual story, let me please so people, so we don't really get letters. I went to an all white high school. I went to, I mean, it sounds ridiculous, but it's true. I came from a little town, Ohio, and the very first black person that I was ever like friends with. This is gonna sound ridiculous, but for some reason, I don't know why, but I thought their skin would be cold. I know the sound just is cold. - I didn't even say this before in the podcast. - And so when I touched his hand, I actually react to it was like, oh my God. And he was like, what? I said, your hand's not cold. And he looked to me like, why the fuck am I acting cold? And it just shocked me because I don't know what, I just assumed that their hands would be cold. So thank you again for that. - And if you thought you licked him, would it taste like chocolate ice cream too? - No, I'm not the mountain woman, but anyway. Anyways, focus people, focus. All right, so my lunch, which now will have lackluster, but that's fine. I had lunch with a complete stranger. - What? - See, told you that'd be my reaction. - Really? - Oh yes, let me tell you the story. So I had lunch with a complete stranger that I met at TJ Maxx. - Oh Jesus. - No, I'm allowed to tell you, oh thank you. I know this story actually gets worse. Okay, so I'm at the TJ Maxx, which I've really been to one other one, and it was down by Taylor's house. And I had bought something there that I ended up not winning. I found out lo and behold, there is a TJ Maxx that's not too far from my house. So I decided that I was going to take it back. So I go to the TJ Maxx, I return the item, I'm looking around and I find this fantastic Calvin Klein coat. So I take the coat off of the hanger, I put it on and it's perfect and wonderful and beautiful and it's cheap and it fits. And I slide my arm out of it and underneath my breath I go, "What the fuck?" And the woman on the other side of the aisle turns and looks me and I said, "I'm sorry." And she goes, "No, no, that's okay." She's like, "Are you okay? "Is everything wrong?" And I said, "No." I said, "I just live in this frickin' state "where it's too hot." I said, "And I always wanna buy coats." Which made me giggle because drum, Taylor's ex, always bought leather coats and we used to tease them about it. But you know what, I'm now in that mindset. So she goes, "Well, you know, you don't have to live "in Florida." And I was like, "Oh, please, you're preaching to the choir." And she goes, "So where from up north are you?" And I said, "I'm from Ohio." And she goes, "Ugh." I said, "What are you from Michigan?" And she goes, "No, I'm from Indiana." I said, "No." So we sit and had, you know, just pleasant trees while we're kind of walking down the aisle. She's on one side on the other side and we're kind of holding up things and shaking heads and kind of making inappropriate comments. She introduced herself, she lives here for two years and she goes, "Can I ask you a question?" She goes, "I hope it doesn't seem odd." And I said, "What?" She goes, "Would you like to go to Burger King "and grab a burger with me?" And she goes, "I have like an hour I have to kill." And I said, "Yes, that would seem very odd." And she's like, "Oh, I'm sorry." She's like, "You know, am I overstepping your personal space?" And she goes, "No, you suggested I go eat at Burger King." And she started laughing and I said, "Because I'm neither 12, nor drunk." And she was just like, "Oh, I said, but there is a restaurant "around the corner I will be happy to go to." And she was like, "Oh, well, that would be great." So I got my car, she got in her car. She followed me over to the Boulevard Bistro. And we said they're probably hour and a half. We had a lovely lunch. If you heard that sound that was my chair, revving up against the desk, it was not me passing gas, just so you know. And so when we were... So when we were... - She had me as a silent but deadly kind of girl. - Exactly. So when we were done talking... - It sounds like roses. - She gave me her like, you know, a cell phone number and her Facebook information and her name. And I know her kid's name or where they go to school and all that sort of stuff. And I said, "Well, you know, I have to tell you." I said, "If I never talk to you again," I said, "It's been a lovely afternoon." She goes, "Are you breaking up with me?" I don't know. I thought she was very, very... She was very, very nice. And she's only lived here for two years. And it was just very odd to be sitting with somebody who I knew nothing about never seen her a day before in my life. - You get her number. Are you going to call her? Are you guys going to be new best friends? - She already asked me to be her Facebook. She already asked me to be my friend on Facebook. But I thought it was just kind of one of those things where it was just so... There was a little hint of... I don't want to say desperation because that sounds bad. But you could tell she's only lived for two years. - Let's be able to... She goes, "No, no, no." She was just like, "Well, her kid goes to a private school. She has a son who's in sixth grade and he goes to a private school." And she was like, "What does the deal with private school parents?" She's like, "I don't understand." She's like, "They're very intimidating." And I said, "Well, first off, they're only intimidating." I said, "Oh, that made me chuckle." And I said, "Well, first off," I said, "Are you talking about a group of moms who stay hang out together?" And she goes, "Yeah." I said, "That's why they're intimidating because they have to be in a group to be intimidating." I said, "You need to be the one mom that walks in." I said, "That dominates all of them and then you can separate them from the herd." And she's just kind of looking at me with the whole, "I need to be writing this down." I'm like, "Yeah." I said, "This is 13 years of private school talking." I said, "No, worry." You'll be fine. So I gave her a couple ways to grease the wheels of industry, so to speak, in the high school office. Especially since I know which high school I shot her to. Yes. Yes. I said, "You know what? Let's go to the boulevard and have a lovely, you know, and she said, of course, just a moment." I said, "No croutines." See? Anyways. So in other words, you had a trick. That sounds like... That sounds like... You did. You had a trick. You had a skyrockets in flight. I had a sexless trick. I've had plenty of those. I've had plenty of those. [laughter] Well... I'm the New Row Day. I'm the New Jan Brady. Yay. I'm glad to hear that you had lunch with somebody. Somebody that could potentially be a friend and usurp me. So I hope you had a good time with her because you're never allowed to see her again. No. We actually talked about you. Oh. You said you have your own personal gay. I didn't. She asked where she could find one of her own. I have to tell you. We had a very unusual thing happen last night that directly involved Babaloo and Taylor. Really? Yes. Does this involve you getting a bloody nose fucking again? Because I don't think I want to hear anything else. No. No. If I'm getting a bloody nose fucking you and Babaloo, that's going to be a video podcast of course. Sure. Anyways. No, I had a little girl spend the night with me last night. She's only spent the night once and it was only one time when there was a big group of people. And Lillis Tefington wanted to show her movies that we have on my computer. So we were on iPhoto. And I'm just scrolling through looking for pictures, five tons of pictures of her. And I'm scrolling through pictures and she goes, "What is that picture?" And I said, "What picture is it?" and she points to it. She goes, "Are those two boys kissing?" Oh. And I said, "Yeah." And she kind of looked at me with this whole, "I've never in my life even thought that that was possible." And I said, "Well, you know him." I said, "You know, he's been to school before." She goes, "No, I know." She goes, "I know he was gay." She goes, "I know he's gay." And I said, "Okay." And she goes, "I just never, ever thought that they actually can." And I said, "Yeah, honey." I said, "You know, they're a couple. That's his partner." The absolute look of, you could see the light bulb. The look of just, "I never knew that." I mean, there was others things where she wasn't freaked out. She just had this look of, "That is the most amazing thing I've ever seen in my whole life. I cannot believe two boys kiss." And a little stuffing tune was like, "Well, yeah, you know, that's like, you know..." Imagine if she'd seen the sling video. Exactly. I'm easing her into it. She's only in the eighth grade. No. That can be her, you know. Welcome to high school. What is he doing to now? Well... Welcome to high school. Here, do these poppers. Hey, are poppers legal? I don't think so. I, you know what? While I don't think the actual use for them is legal, I think they are. I don't know. Yeah, someone asked me at the other day, and all of a sudden I was like, "I don't know." Can I ask a question without you two yelling at me? What's a popper? It's an inhaler. An inhaler. An inhaler. An inhaler. An inhaler. It's for leather daddies with asthma. Where would one even get that though? I think they sell them in like an adult bookstores and stuff. So they must be legal if you can get them there. Well, I think there's some variations that are legal and some that are not. Well, pretty much what it does is it opens up. You put, it's a little tiny bottle, and you put it under your nose. I'm talking like I actually know what I'm talking about. So there's going to be people like Alyssa's going. He has no clue. And you snort the aroma of it real fast, and it kind of opens up blood vessels, and it sort of makes you feel all, you know, nervous and hot and sexy and happy and, you know, it sort of gives you a little bit of a rush. Like one of those Vicks inhalers, you just stick up your nose when you're like, you know, in sixth grade, and you thought it made you feel all twirly? Well, I didn't sleep in a sling in sixth grade, so I don't know. I will say that it is often used in fisting practices. Well, it helps relax your ass as well as help extend the direction. Thank you, Dr. Rodan. Well, you know, what can I say? Have you taken poppers? What? What? Have you done this? No, I didn't hear you. Have you taken them? I've sniffed them like twice. It did nothing for me. I don't think I did it right, but it did absolutely nothing for me. So it didn't make me feel woozy. It didn't help me relax. It just smelled like pain fumes or dry erase markers. I was in a, I didn't sniff them, but they were in a room that I was in once in a small room with two other people and it gave me a severe headache and a sore throat. Oh, wait, that wasn't what gave me the sore throat. Yeah, yeah, yeah, again, a sword fight in your mouth is what gave me the sore throat. Pretty much. No, I just blew the one. There was no sword fight. No, Lord. Sorry, I interrupted your story about an eight-year-old ask about poppers. Yes, thank you. That's appropriate. No, that was done. That was all. Again, Taylor bringing learning experiences to, you know, the children of private school. Yes, teaching them about two boys kissing. That's right. - Someone has to, you know, besides their pastor. (laughing) Or boy scout, or boy scout troop leader. - Wow. - So what are you up to? I haven't seen you since Friday. - I know, Friday night was the last time we saw each other. Yesterday we had a fun day. I, we had a surprising fun day in that I was looking for, I am one of the masses who was a member of the Washington Mutual Bank, which has recently switched over to Chase. And months ago, they sent me my new bank card and I thought, you know what? I'm gonna start using that, but now I can't find it. So it's in a file somewhere in my filing cabinet and I'm just sort of going through it and I can't find it. So I'm gonna have to call, which means they're going to, you know, cancel my current, 'cause my WAMU one still works, but it's gonna be a nightmare when I call tomorrow about it. Anyway, in the process of looking for that though, I found all sorts of unused gift cards from the holidays. - Nice, like where? - So I went to Coles and to Chili's and to Barnes & Noble. - Excellent. - So Momma got herself a little happy. (laughs) - Nice. - What all'd you get? - I bought, well, we went to Chili's and had lunch there, which was fun, so that gave me heartburn and diarrhea. - Momma. - And then we went to Coles and I bought George Foreman Grill scrubbing sponges and (laughs) - Wow, that's exciting. - He is pampering himself. - And a kitchen mat. - It sounds it. - And that has, I think it has latte, like coffee mugs and all that sort of stuff. Babaloo saw that and it was, it's the biggest sale of the season at Coles that weekend until next weekend, which that becomes the biggest sale of the season. So I bought that and they had a couple of their print T-shirts on sale, so they had some superhero ones. So I got a flash T-shirt and Babaloo got a Superman T-shirt. - Flash show. - And which I put on today and it's not pretty snug in all the wrong places. And I look more like the flub than the flash. - Aw, that's my best friend you're talking about there. - And well, your best friend is fat. And I went to Barnes and Noble and in the tradition of trying to do things to lose weight, I bought a new Barefoot Contessa Cookbook. - Oh my God. - Which is really good. And Tabby's been on me forever about having her over for dinner. I will be making things from the Barefoot Contessa Cookbook. - 10 years people, 10 years. I have never eaten one. - Would you want to go over and have him cook for you most times? - Yes, absolutely. - How very dare you? You, when you came and stayed at my house at Christmas, I made a pot roast and it was pretty damn good. - Yes, that was good. That was good. The first time you hosted Sprout and I for a dinner in your apartment, that was not good. - Well, that was, you know, 10 plus years ago. And I was probably trying to poison Sprout. - Sprout, yeah, that's possible. - Now, 10 years, never had dinner there. That's fine, I'm not bitter about it. There's little-- - I don't have enough chairs. - Oh, yes, yes. You've always said as long as you have a face, I have a place to sit. (laughing) - But I want to be able to eat. - You both eat out. (laughing) - Oh, I could have really said something and appropriate there, but that's fine. Anyways. - Trust me, I'll be eating. - Trust me. Anyways, well, that's okay. I made a new cupcake tonight. - What? - That's right. That's right. I'm usurping your title back, because I created a cupcake, which I'm sure there's someone else in the world that has created, but it was the first time I ever made it. And I'm going to tell you what it is. And when I tell you, you're going to try to make them and they're fabulous. I made marshmallow chocolate cupcakes. These are the simplest of simple recipes. Now, I didn't use a box, I used an actual recipe for the chocolate cupcake mix. I put about two tablespoons of batter in the bottom. I put a whole marshmallow in it, and I covered the marshmallow with cupcake batter, and I put it in the oven. That's it. And let me tell you something. The marshmallow expanded in the heat, and those things were huge. I mean, they were twice the size of a normal cupcake. They were super, super light, because of course, all the air was infused, and they tasted like they were toasted marshmallows because as soon as you've been into them, they were stringy and chocolatey and wonderful and good and fabulous. Yeah. Uh-huh, I wanted to kill myself. (laughs) Oh, I only know. Yes, I immediately bought-- - I want the devil. - They are the devil's food, there's no question. And of course, what does tanks say? You should totally make these again, but on the bottom, crush up graham crackers. They could be some more cupcakes. I'm like, why would you even say that? Why would you even call them? (laughs) - I was gonna say that. It sounds like you did some sort of smore thing. - Yeah, these were just marshmallow chocolate, but yeah, they were ridiculous. - Well, on my list of things that I did today, one of which was I'm going to be helping the cantaloupe bee household move next weekend, and I've decided I'm bringing cupcakes, and I picked which cupcakes that I'm going to be making. - Which ones? - But I'm not saying because Kevin listens to the show, so I want him to be surprised. He didn't even know I was bringing cupcakes to me. - Is bringing cupcakes actually helping them move? Is that really your only effort to helping them move? Do they actually need you to lift and carry? - Yeah, but I thought it would be nice. It's a gesture. (laughs) I'm not feeding Kevin B 'til the end of time. It's just a gesture. - Kevin loves pork and beans. He craves, he eats them with everything. - Well, that explains a lot. - Well. (laughs) I did make Lollipop laugh until she cried with a Kevin B story of when Michael screamed, "Fire in front of the cat who is deaf," and the cat didn't move, and Kevin stuck his head out from the kitchen and went, "I've told you not to do that in front of company." (laughs) Yeah. So when they move, what are they going to do? You're just going to shove a cupcake in their mouth and say, "Here, like, give me your box." - I'll be shoving something in their mouth, so give me your box. (laughs) Here's a cupcake, give me your box. - Let me shove this in your mouth. (laughs) - Aw. - So that was our big Friday, and then I introduced Babaloo to the joy that is "It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia." - I've not seen that yet. - Oh my God, it's such a funny show. - It's funny. - It's so funny. We got, we have the first two seasons, thanks to, I believe it was Miss Cassie in Montana, sent that actually to me as a little gift a while back. And I finally was like, "All right, we're going to watch these," and he's like, "I don't have time. "I'm like, "Shut up, just watch one with me." Then after the first episode, he turns, he looks at me, he points at me, he goes, "I hate you!" And I'm like, "Why?" He goes, "Because I want to watch another one." So I'm like, "All right, we've been watching those "over the last day or so." 'Cause it's been kind of rainy and gross and dreary, so it's good, good TV. TV watching weather with a little chicken bog on the side. - How was the chicken bog? - Chicken bog was okay tonight. Chicken bog was the first time I've made it in a while, and it seemed to be lacking flavor, but it's never as good the first night as it is the next day. That's one of those that the leftovers are always much better for that, and it also created some gastrointestinal distress of F5 minutes before we started taping. - That was the chilies. - Oh. - No, the chilies, that was yesterday. (laughs) - As he has to pass a little bit of gas before he responds. - I just a little burp, sorry. I was going to delete that out, but thank you for that. - I like to call 'em out. - Thank you. - Our listeners get all or nothing. (laughs) - If we could do smell casts, we would. - Oh. - Again, I smell like lavender and baby powder, thank you. - And grapefruit. I had someone today tell me I smelled like grapefruit. I thought it was going to change. - Grapefruit. - Binner. (laughs) (laughs) - That was good. - He's so brave with that little microphone on. He's so brave with that little microphone on, and I want to commend you on your excellent picture hanging skills. - Thank you. - You're welcome. - I received a picture from the entire Huffington clan when they went on their cruise, and I had been sitting on my dining room table for a month now, and every time I see Taffy, she's always like, are you gonna hang it? Are you not gonna hang it? I'm like, I'll get to it eventually. Well, I made a list of things I wanted to accomplish this weekend, and that was on the list, so it went up last night, about 10, 30 last night, and it looks wonderful. In my kitchen. - Cool. - I spent most of my day today putting together a new TV stand that I bought at the Sam's Club for $250. - $250 at Sam's? And IKEA, you could have bought a whole house. - I know, right? - Wow. - It was either the TV stand or one of those, you know, put together houses. I figured-- - Is Sam long coming to bend over, and you're gonna put a TV on him? Is that what's happening? - It's-- - Good lord. - It's got, it lifts, you know, it's got the mount for the TV on it, and it's three shelves, and it fits all my crap, so that's all I really needed. And it took me like all day to put it together. - So you felt crafty? - Yeah, I felt crafty, even though I was following the instructions, so really, it was like one of those big GI Joe vehicles that you'd put together when you were kids. - Now, were you like Tank, where when you'd get something like a toy like that, and your mom would say, don't open it in the car, and you'd open it in the car, and you'd end up having half the pieces lost before you got home? - No, 'cause I dreaded the thought of losing the pieces. - What was your favorite toy when you were little, both of you? I mean, like, I'm talking not like under 10 years old. What was your favorite toy? - I had the Death Star from Star Wars. - The Death Star was at a ship? I mean, was it like a-- - It is all I can do to punch you, if we keep from punching you? - I'm sorry, is it a spaceship? I'm serious, is that what it is? - The Death Star was kind of like, it was the big, it was a big ship, yeah, but it was shaped like a planet, or a moon, because they say in the movie, that's not a moon, that's a starship. But it was just sort of, it was three or four levels, and there was the trash compactor, and there was a big gun on the top of it, and there was an elevator they went all the way up and down, and that probably-- - No, a toy that had a trash compactor? Well, because there's a big scene-- - I can't believe you've never seen Star Wars, it actually hurts my heart, you know, you haven't seen it. - In 10 years, when you make dinner, you need to make her watch Star Wars. - I've seen, no, I've seen Star Wars. I even want to see the new one where, it's the one where he's like, Hayden Christensen's in it. I even want to see that one, so see. - Okay, but you, have you seen the original one from the '70s? - Oh, yes, Tank made me watch it years ago. - Okay, well, it's time for you to watch it again, because if you want to have dinner at my house, you're gonna have to watch the first Star Wars. That's it, I had to watch a moonstruck. (laughing) - You have to watch that too. - Oh my God. - With each dinner, it's dinner in a movie. It's dinner in a movie, and you don't have to put out, at least not with me, you can put out with your husband. - That's fun, that's win-win. - On the couch, what are you, all right? - Exactly, that's the movie, they're going to be watching. Oh no, all right, so, okay, that's fine. All right, so a Death Star. So it sounds like it was like a boys version of a Barbie Dream House. - Kind of, pretty much. It was? - Okay, that's cool. - I would say that would probably be my favorite one, and my Millennium Falcon, which was another Star Wars thing. Those are my two favorite toys. - Now, was Millennium Falcon like a fighter jet? (sighing) It was the big ship that Han Solo flew in the Star Wars movies. - I'm sorry, I won't ask any more questions about Star Wars. - Wow, mine was Taffy, was an Optimus Prime. - Transformer. - Yes. - Yes, I got one. - I had an Optimus Prime. - Did you have-- - And I just love, love, love, love. - And what did it turn into? - Semi-truck. - Oh, it's cool. Did you keep it more as a robot, or did you keep it more as a truck? - More as a robot. - Oh, it's good. - It was, you know, he was all metal too, sort of like his cab part was metal, his legs were plastic, I think. Although I have a whole metal one now in my room. - Did you guys ever have those boy dolls that were like, I don't know what they were called, I'm sure someone will know, but they were the dolls that they were like a muscle man, but his arms and legs stretched. - Stretch Armstrong? - Is that what it was? But did you ever, okay, so did you have one? - No. - No. - I think they were not popular by the time we were growing up. - Yeah, that was a little after my time. - Well, that's because I'm older than you, but I can remember, there was always one kid on the block who had a stretch Armstrong that they had managed to rip the fake rubber skin, and you can see the gel inside the arm. We always thought that was the coolest thing ever. (laughs) - Mutilation is fun. - Exactly. - Well, this is Taffy we're talking about. - Thank you. - That's cool. - Sounds good to Dort's family. - So what was your favorite toy? - What did you just say, Rodian? - I said if it bleeds, it bleeds. (laughs) - Oh my God, I got to do it, you two. - That's a news saying. - Yeah. - I know, I know, but I took a dirt show. - It wasn't about your time of the month or anything. - Oh, good lord. Well, and Kevin's out. Bye, Kevin. (laughs) - Well, it is like 40 minutes into the show. - Wow. - We got the most of the show. - If you made it this far, we were doing good. What was my favorite toy when I was little? - My cousin, Mindene. (laughs) - What? - My first anal. (laughs) - Nice. Nice. My favorite toy when I was little was probably my big wheel. - Really? - Yeah, I could say it 'cause you get to go on adventures. - And by big wheel, she means when she discovered her clitoris. - Yes. (laughs) - That big wheel keeps her turning. - There you go. - You know, what are you gonna do? - And she's rolling down the road. - And I'm rolling. That's right. I love big wheel. You could go as fast as you could ever want it to. And of course, there was no shifting of gears. So your feet when you push the pedal, sometimes the wheel would skid. But you could go fast and then pull on the brake and you would spin. That was awesome. I was going to say about my real favorite toy was, but then I figured it would just give you too way too much fodder. But that was my second favorite toy. My real favorite toy was a sitting spin. - Of course it was. - Wow. - I love a sitting spin. Those are the greatest things ever. It was, I hate to say it, but it was. - Wow. - I know. It speaks volumes. - I was expected to hold my little pony. - No, I was too old for my little pony. The only thing like that I remembered was Darcy Dolls, which were better than Barbies. - Darcy Dolls. - Yeah, you're very own Sarah Jessica Parker. - That would be my little pony. - Exactly. - Speaking of fashion, speaking of that sort of, so what did we think about Project Runway? - Me? - I did like to dress the one. I liked the guy who won too. The dress and the designer, I liked them both. - He's cute in a K-fed skid mark kind of way. - He's cute in a corn fed kind of way. - Yeah, I was actually going for cute and corn fed, although like most of the design is, he needs a shower. But yeah, I think he's, I do. - I don't get, I don't get the tattoo sleeve. Everybody has a tattoo sleeve. I don't, I don't understand why. - I don't either. - You missed all the rage. You need to have a tattoo sleeve too. Taylor get on it. - Now over your flag thing. - You know what? Let me tell you something, those tattoo sleeves are gonna be like all those people who rushed out, remodeled their bathrooms and put those stupid bowl sinks in. In three or four years, people are gonna walk into a house and go, what the fuck is a bowl sink? And in three or four years, all these tattooed sleeve people are gonna look in the mirror and go, what the fuck was I thinking? (laughing) It's a bad people, stop it. Sorry, go ahead. - Eventually there's gonna be grandmothers with tattooed sleeves. - Thank you, that's what I'm saying. I mean, it's just ridiculous. I get it if that's your profession. - My girl only has a tattoo sleeve. - Your grandmother has a tattoo? - No. - Oh, I'm gonna say, wow. Yes, whenever Tank's mother talks about getting a tattoo, well, first off, it's repulsive to the fact that someone would actually touch her body anywhere. But anyways, whenever she talks about getting a tattoo, I just go, your grandmother, what are you kidding me? It's gross. Eventually I would be a grandmother and I would have a tattoo and my grandchild would see it and look at me and go, really? - No, that's things that by the time you had grandchildren, they'll probably think that having complete pure skin is the absolute fat because of all of us tattooing people. - Exactly, that'll be the new rebellion. There's no piercings, no nothing. - Exactly. - No, good, good for them. - And they'll all be named Esther and Ruth. - Mabel, Hazel. (laughing) - Hazel. - Well, wasn't that, well, going back to the project one way, wasn't that one of the designers named Melvin? - Yeah. - I mean, that's a pretty old-timer name, Melvin. - Yeah, we were some sort of Asian. - He wasn't some sort of Asian, I believe he was probably Asian. Some sort of Asian. - Some sort. - Some kind of sort of Asian. - He's oriental, like the rug. - Wait, was that the one who's not quite a boy, not quite a girl? - I think there's about seven or eight of them that are like that on that show this year. - Oh, yeah. The one that went home. - They haven't watched the models of the runway thing yet, have you guys? - I'm not watching that. - No, I'm not gonna watch that. - That's a half an hour of my life, I'll never get back so I'm not even gonna watch that, I'm sorry. (laughing) No, but Top Chef started, yay! - I am. - I was kind of underwhelmed. - The first episode was not great, please stick with it for a couple, because it's really good. - I will watch at least a couple more, but then I'm, there is too much between, so you think you can dance, Glee, Office, 30 Rock, there's that show Community that looks really good. - Yeah, it does look good. - There's gonna be Wade plus, you know, Barefoot Contessa. - And does America's Next Top Model start? - America's Next Top Model, there's too many shows, so I, and Project Runway, I'm gonna be a little bit more just concerning with my viewing this year. I'm not gonna have a choice. If not, we're gonna be watching TV every night, and that takes away from my time with porn, and I can't have that. - Wow, you must have priorities. - Yeah, exactly. - It goes porn, whatever video game of the week we're playing, and then television. And Babaloo falls in number 14 or 15. - Yeah, yeah, as well say, you know, you have a husband now, you should just be fucking him. - Oh God, he listens to the show. At this point, if you say something like that, Taylor's, he'll never walk again. - He's taken care of, don't worry. - He's taken care of. - My man has no complaints. - Taylor got Babaloo a fleshlight. - Oh, that is rude. - They already have one. - Poor Babaloo's worn it out. He's on his third or fourth. - Oh, well, he is human. - That sounds like a voice of experience, Rodin. I gotta be honest with you. - I've never used one. - I don't believe that. - Why did we both get quiet all of a sudden? - I don't believe that. - I don't believe that. I've never used one. I don't know if they'd be fun or not. - A dildo? - No, a fleshlight. It's like a jack-off thing. - It looks like a flashlight, but you unscrew the top of it and the inside where the shaft of it, that you would hold, you know, if you were holding a flashlight, is like a vagina. It's like a tight rubbery hole. - Oh, why would, why would if you're gay, would you wanna fuck something that feels like a vagina? I don't understand. - Well, if there's, well, it's just, I think it's more of the fact that you get to fuck something. - Yeah. - It's just like something you keep in your car, like in your emergency kit, you know, in case you need it. It has like a flashlight, so you know. - Over the power goes out. - It's like a flashlight. - Exactly, so if anybody finds it, they're like, oh, it's just, you know, you're running the middle flashlight and I'll try to turn it on and then they go to put batteries in it and all of a sudden it's, you know, sticky and unusual smelling. (laughing) That's bizarre. I am learning so much about fascinating dork theory. I love this. - So, Rodin, you've never partaked of the flashlight? - I've never partaked of the flashlight. Although they seem to be like everywhere. These days, I think, you know. - Everywhere, I gotta tell you, the local target is not carrying flushlights. - You don't know. - But that's true. - You just have to look it in the right aisles. - That might be very possible. Would that be under sporting goods or homewear? (laughing) - Yes. - Well, the straight ones are in sporting goods. The gay ones are household. (laughing) - Household appliances. (laughing) Exactly. Nice. - Oh, I just offended to have the audience. - That's right. (groaning) - Do you know that we could have been catalysts for a local television show? A local radio, excuse me, that's a lie. We could have been catalysts for a local radio show. - What do you mean, really? - Because there was a radio show and a bunch of our local radio stations just switched monikers, so Tank was listening to it and he calls me and he goes, where did Taylor get the idea for the hand, or the arm exerciser? And I said, I don't know why. And he goes, because a local radio station that was just talking about it and they said they sold it on a local podcast. And I said, what else did they say? And he said, he never said the name of the podcast. They just were talking about this arm exerciser. And he said, I wanted to know where Taylor got found it because I didn't know if he got it from another podcast or if they could have looked at yours. And I said, I don't know, I will have to ask him. So some radio station was talking about it and they saw it on a podcasting blog. I just wondered if it was ours and we were uncredited. Thank you very much. I don't know. - I think that's cool though. - If you are a local radio person and you listen to our podcast or read our blog, drop us an email at potasmycopilot@gmail.com. - You might as well just finish that. - I was gonna say, I was expecting it too. - And you can visit that blog at potasmycopilot.com. You can call us at 206-202-5165. I have spoken with Ms. Melanie and she's gonna be sending us the software so that we can do the voicemail thing. So look for a voicemail episode or a voicemail's returning to the episodes pretty shortly. - Excellent. - And be sure to join our Facebook group, which is okay. So I love potasmycopilot. Also, Taffy and Bobaloo and I are gonna be just apart. - La, la, la, la. - Taffy and Bobaloo and I are gonna be participating in AIDS Walk Saint Pete coming up in a couple of weeks and we're gonna have something on the blog. I don't have it set up yet, but we're gonna have something where those of our listeners who would like to donate can do so. I will get that set up sometime this week. So if you would like to donate to a worthy cause, please make sure to visit potasmycopilot.com later on in the week and we'll talk about it a little bit more next week. And I'm sort of throwing this at Taffy all of a sudden without her knowing about it, but she knows she's walking. - I was gonna say, I knew I was walking. - No, you didn't know that I was gonna put something on the blog. - No, that's okay. - But we'll get to that later. - I'm ready. - All right, I guess that's it. So everybody, thank you all very much for listening to episode 115, we'll be back next week with 116. - Excellent. - All right, this is Taylor. - And Taffy. - And Rodan. - Have a good week, everybody. Bye-bye. - Bye. - Okay, stop. - All right, oh, crap, one, shit, damn it. Okay, stop. (upbeat music) - You've been listening to Hot Is My Copilot with Taylor the Latte boy, Taffy Carlisle Huffington, and Rodan. Doesn't your life seem just a little bit brighter? See you next time. (upbeat music) (upbeat music) (upbeat music) (upbeat music)