Pod Is My Copilot
PiMC: Episode 114 - You ARE Blair Warner!, or He Gets Greasy Fast
You take the good, you take the bad.... Rodan has restaurant woes, Taffy and her role model, Taylor and a dead mouse. Plus ugly underwear, Jason Mraz, The PiMC boys act like 13 year old girls on facebook, and we have a winner for our PiMC T-shirt contest! Plus a cameo from a certain Cuban we all know and love. We are Pod Is My Copilot!
blog: www.podismycopilot.com, phone: 206-202-5165, email: podismycopilot@gmail.com, facebook: Ok, So I Love Pod Is My Copilot
(upbeat music) - Apparently, Rodin is starting a new dating website called Ask Book. It's time for another episode of "Pod Is My Co-Pilot" with Taylor the Latte boy, Taffy Carlisle Huffington, and Rodin. Take it away, kids. - Nokne, or that's Klingon for hello, this is Taylor, and you just downloaded episode 114 of "Pod Is My Co-Pilot." We are all finally back together in the same room, and by room, I mean virtual podosphere. - Yay! - Hurrah! - Yeah, I am joined as always. Why, 'cause I can't say as always, 'cause it feels like it's been forever since we've done one of these, by my co-hosts Taffy Carlisle Huffington. - Hello, lovers. - And Rodin. - Woo-hoo! Woo-hoo! How are we doing, kids? - Woo-hoo! - Yeah, right? I'm fucking tired. - I am fucking tired as well. - I'm fucking tired as well. - Which, really, you would think we'd all be invigorating, 'cause one should not fuck tired. - Exactly. - I think one should fuck whenever the opportunity presents itself, quite frankly. Tired, otherwise, but you do what you gotta do. - Okay, and a children's christening is never a good idea. - If one escapes quietly to the back room, down the hall, to the left, out of sight of preacher and mother, it's fine. How do you think that baby came out in the first place? - I don't wanna know how you know that, but okay. - Good. - Yeah, so I, first of all, Rodin, well, actually, let's get first of all to what happened to 113, the last 113, from like two weeks ago. - Yeah, what happened to that? - I was crazy, apparently. - Yeah, and it sucked. (laughing) - Oh yeah, that's right. There's no technical issues, we just sucked. I forgot about that. - Yeah, no, it wasn't one of our best outputs, so instead, we ended up doing the episode that the half of the episode that we did with Ricky is 113, and I wanna thank, once again, Ricky and Julian, for their wonderful hospitality to Taffy and I for that episode. We had a really, really good time and enjoyed spending time with them. - They have the greatest puppies you've ever seen in your whole life. - Yes, they have a Fin Bar and Alka Seltzer. (laughing) It's the Greyhound name and something. - It's something like Alka Seltzer. It's not Alka Seltzer, and we'll be yelled at, it's like a pre-layer, I don't know what it is. - Yeah, they have a Greyhound, a, what, I was trying to tell Babaloo about what kind of dog is Fin Bar? - Fin Bar was, I believe, like an American Alaskan, but it almost looked like it was the size of, you know, a terrier, but it was a beautiful dog. Oh my God. - It was a mini-shirt. - It was like a permanent puppy. It was like always going to save puppy size, so. - And then they had the cutest, sweetest, oldest dog, Asimba, oh my God, the face, you wanna kill yourself. Yeah, no, I just, and she was very shy. - And Julian Rokay too. (laughing) - I think Julian were great, actually. - Yeah, the whole time we're at their house, we're like totally playing with their dogs, and they're just like, well, we should get started, and we're like, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. You know, and they have a beautiful house too. - They do, they do, it's a great house. So Rodin, were you able to listen to the episode at all, either live or later? - No, I've been kinda on the road all week long. (laughing) - Okay. - Okay, and apparently we've taken up Singing as well as a new hobby. - So, how is your back? - My back is great, my back is fine. I went to the gym, I've gone to the gym a couple times this week, but back to normal workouts, so, yay. - Good. - You and I are about that, good. - Good, wow, Taylor and Taffy in the mornings. (laughing) - We're like Will Ferrell and Shario Terry, when they would do that, like Regis and Kelly, and they would go, it's hot, it's hot in here. It's really hot. Can you imagine us on a morning, like, talk to the show? - I can imagine that, I can imagine it lasting about three days. (laughing) - For you guys, they're becoming the bitchy ghost. - Until network was called in, exactly, yeah. - Today at 1020, we'll be talking about bukkake and how it can help with your skin. (laughing) - Yeah, I'm not, I'm seeing blumpkins. Is that the new seasonal favorite? Not so much. It's a favorite anytime of the year. - It's October, and you know what that means? It's blumpkin' season. (laughing) - Exactly. - Oh. - So, Rodan, what else is going on? - I have an interesting restaurant story I could share. - Excellent. - I know, right? - I never have restaurant stories. - Shut up. - Is this the I had sex on a restaurant, or I yelled at the waitress? - No, neither. Actually, we can't go back. - Did you yell at a waiter while having sex, 'cause that's kind of hot. - Maybe I was having sex with the waiter. - Yes! - And yell at him. - I told you no rolls on the table. - I'm allergic to chicken, you asshole. (laughing) Sorry. Okay. - Which is ironic given some of the stories you told on a show. - You bastard. So, we went to a local restaurant, actually not local to Monroe, but nearby in one of the surrounding-- - We being who? - I'm a gaggle of the gays. - Okay. - Not quite the garden club. - A gay gaggle? - Yeah, it was a gay gaggle. Not, it was kind of some garden club members, some not garden club members, so it was the first time I've been out with them, so there was like 13 of us. There was this little restaurant in downtown, and one of the towns around here that was, got all these high rave reviews, and everyone was talking about their fried olives, which, believe me, I could care less about. But we get to the restaurant, I'm actually just a little bit late, and they've all sat down, they've all started with drinks, and I stand and get drink, order appetizers, and first thing you know, they come back, or next thing you know, they come back and say, we're out of like two of the appetizers, and so they just pick other ones, and they give a bunch of like free stuff, free appetizers and stuff to the table. - Okay. - And so, things are going well, and you know, they're kind of filling our drinks quickly, and everything's wonderful, and we're all having this great chat, and next thing you know, it's about 45 minutes, maybe an hour later, and you know, it's starting to like, okay, so what's going on with the meal? 'Cause we'd already ordered, and nothing had come out yet, and our drinks were starting to get refreshed more and more slowly, and so, eventually the waitress comes by and says, yeah, it won't be too much longer, I promise you won't have to wait another hour or anything, and so, you know, so we just start chatting, not thinking about it, they're back with drinks, no big deal. So about 45 minutes, or maybe an hour later, we'd already been there for maybe two, two and a half hours, and you know, the conversation's dying down, so it's like that normal, you know, the conversation's ending, it's after dinner, time to leave. Promise we never got our food. - I was gonna say that you get your food at any point? - No. - And so, we're all just kind of like, okay, and so the waitress comes over, and she pulls one of the guys over, and talks in the corner for a minute, and we're trying to figure out what the hell's going on. - One of the guys at your table? - Yeah, kind of like the guy at the reservations. So, I mean, this is not like an Applebee's, or anything like that, this is, you know, a fairly fancy restaurant. I mean, the entree is-- - A real restaurant, yeah. - Yeah, I mean, the entrees were like $40, so, I mean, I realize that's, someone in New York is going, yeah, that's Applebee's, but anyways, so, (laughs) it's fancy for down here, dammit, and he comes back and he says, well, we have two options. What, we can order something in, or we can go to another restaurant, and we're all like, what? - What, what, what, what? - What, order something in? - Yeah, we're like, what are you talking about? And he's like, well, apparently, the chef cannot complete the meal. - Yep, okay, because the chef had a heart attack, and they're rushing him to the emergency room, or because they ran out of bacon. I mean, I don't understand. - The chef? - Apparently was drunk, and it was too drunk to cook. (laughs) - So, I will be taking a lovely $500 gift card for a future date, now that you've wasted my evening. - Oh my God, it was just one of those like, we're just sat there, stunned, just like, what? And then a couple of guys were drunk enough, like, I'll go back there, and I'll cook, and I'm drunk, and he's like, oh, no, you're not. So, about like 15 minutes, we leave, and we end up at an Applebee's, but-- - Well, no, no, no, okay, hold on, hold on. Before you left, what did the restaurant give you? What did they call you? - They calmed all the drinks, and all the appetizers and everything, but that was it. I mean, and to be honest, these waitresses were in tears. - Oh, I can imagine. - Lovely and wonderful, and if you think about this as a small town, we were the only party in the restaurant. - Oh my God. - Did you tip them? - Yes. - Good, well, that's-- - Yeah, no, it was one of those where I felt, you know, the whole situation is, it's hilarious in the sense that how often, how, when do you go to a restaurant, and they cannot complete your meal? - It's kind of awesome in a way, I agree. - But the flip side is, this is a dying area where we were, and it's like, you know, this is like gonna be a nail in a coffin of the restaurant, 'cause it's, you know, you've now got, you know, 13, 14 bags worth of mouth going out there. And once the gay mafia gets involved, well, yeah. So, it was, I don't know, if you guys ever had that, where they couldn't complete your meal-- - Well, my cook was drunk. - And asked you to leave? - Unless it's Thanksgiving at the Wood of Carlisle's house, and then, well, no, no, I've never had that happen. - Now they offered like, order pizza from like, there was another, like a time restaurant down the way, but we were like, no, we're okay, we're gonna leave. 'Cause it looks like you're gonna break down for me any second now. - Oh my God, that's horrible. - Yeah, it's definitely an interesting-- - That's horrible for the waitresses, no question. - Yeah, that's horrible for the waitresses, but that is-- - Kind of funny. - Yeah. - In a way, well, that's, that's-- - So, was the Greek involved in this? - No, the Greek and I broke up during one of my travel weeks. - Okay. - So, he just wasn't handling me traveling very well. - How did you, how do you kids say it, tap that before you broke up? - Oh yeah, we'd had sex like six or seven times by the time we broke up, but-- - Well, it had been four days. I mean, it was the second date, yes, of course. - No, we'd been dating for almost two months, I don't know, you know, kind of getting more serious as it went, so it was just, the travel just wasn't good for him, and yeah, I don't know, I mean, maybe I'm just, I'm not an easy person to get along with in all fairness. - What? (laughing) - I think you, I feel that Rodan is a delight. - Yes, thanks. - He's an afternoon delight to many of the Monroe population. - No, I don't have sex with too many Monroe people. Too many. - That's probably wise. - Too many, there's no such thing as too many. (laughing) Yeah, so unfortunately, yeah, it just didn't work out. - Well, I'm sorry to hear that, but I'm glad that you're recruiting new listeners. So, hi, Greek. (laughing) - Nice. - Didn't we say back in like episode 21, 22, that you would blow listeners? - Oh yeah, no, and apparently I have. So, yeah, we've gained all sorts of listeners. - He's systematically working through them all. - Oh, good. - We've gained all sorts of listeners from my online and interpersonal activities. - Excellent. - Well, anyway, you can get it. (laughing) - So speaking of interpersonal activities, I believe that Ms. Taffy-Carlall Huffington called me last night and told me about a touch she had with greatness. - I did have a touch of greatness, and I was very excited. I became my children at a Jonas Brothers concert, except it was sad and pathetic, but you know what? I didn't care. (laughing) - Okay, where were you? - I was at the channel side. Now, first let me preem for this by saying that the two groups of people who are currently in Tampa are the women in praise Christian coalition group that have taken over the Saint Pete Times Forum and Judas Priest. (laughing) I'm not making that up either. That's really who is in town. So last night, I forget the name of the guy from Judas Priest, the Lee guy, which of course, I'm sure everyone says. - Ron Halford, the original lead singer, the gay one? - No, the one who was currently on tour with him, but apparently he's a really big deal. He was actually staying at the Hard Art Cafe last night, and we were there just for the last weekend before school starts again as they get away, fun, fun, fun, and we had a great time, but he was there and that was craziness. So we didn't see him or anything, but everybody who was there was, it was again, it was a Brett Michaels incident where there's 50 somethings in their ripped t-shirts, person their boobs up against shit, whatever. So we left there and went to channel side to go see a movie and we went to see district nine. - Okay. - The girls went to see something else. And why we are going up the escalator because the channel side, we went to Enochina Tappas, we walked around, they were having a whole bunch of stuff going on down in the center of channel side. Right as we're walking up on the escalator, I look behind me and standing one step below me is Lisa Welcher who played Blair Warner on The Facts Life. - No way. - With her son and her daughter, and I'm going. And so, and she's just standing there in like this, you know, blue track suit, but nicer than most track suit, but just a normal track suit, but it was, I mean, it was 100% obvious that it was her. I looked at Lollipop and I went, 'cause she was, she has a hip flexor that pops out every once in a while, so she's doing this bizarre, like, I'm gonna raise my leg up and look like I'm squatting and I'm like, would you please stop that for a moment? She's like, why is this? I said, because I'm going to speak to the person behind me and I don't want you doing that while I'm talking to her. And of course, you know, I'm standing six inches away from Lisa Welcher, so I know she can hear me. So finally, you know, Lollipop stops, I turn around and I go, I excuse me and she looks me and I said, I just have to tell you, you're my favorite TV character of all time, I said, and I said, and personally, this is a very big moment for me. I said, because I have referred to you in my life many times, she could not have been nicer. She gave me a hug. She said, thank you so much. I, she goes, I'm amazed to this day that people still recognize me. She introduced me to her children. I introduced her to my children. We talked, I know it was one of those things where I almost could feel like coming on the mouth of, we could totally be best friend. (laughing) I was so, I became like this starstruck junior high. My eyes were, Lollipop was like, you became like a 12-year-old. She's like, your eyes were so big. I said, you don't understand. So I was talking to her and talking to her and talking to her. And I realized that she's in town for the women in faith group because she's wrote all these books about, you know, being a homeschooled Christian parent, you know, whatever. But I, so I'm talking to her for a few, like we just didn't talk for probably 10 minutes. So right, because we were waiting in line to get the tickets, they were going to see bed slam, or band slam, is that it? - Yeah. - Yeah. And so that's what Lollipop and Lillipop and Lillipop and so we're going to see, so we're chit-chatting and Lillipop's Huffington is, of course, talking up her son because he's under 18 and has penis. So, you know, and so we're just talking, talking and all of a sudden, I said, well, you all enjoy your movie. I said, I have to call my favorite gay and let them know I just met Blur Warner. And she kind of chuckled and I thought, it's probably not to say to someone who's here via the Christian coalition. (laughing) Well, I'm trying to convince his my new best friend, but that's fine. So, I immediately called Taylor and I was like, guess what, guess what, guess what? I was, I was so excited. My hands were sweating, just think about it. I don't know why. But it was just one of those things where I have loved her forever and I could not believe that I was staying. I talked her for 10, 15 minutes, just staying there, chit-chatting like I would have anybody I knew. I only did the fan talk for like literally five sentences and then I went into the, you know, so you guys are here in conference and how's the conference going and blah, blah, blah, blah. But it was very exciting for me. If I had, and Lillipop says, why don't you get a picture with the two of you together? And I'm like, well, because I already come off as quasi-stalker-esque, I want to go and say, (laughing) you know, get yourself on a day of my prediction. No, I wasn't going to do that. But then I was kicking myself that I didn't, but that's all right. I was very excited. - How is it that you and I of all people, our favorite people from 80s television sitcoms are both these like crazy Christian, like, you know, you with Blair Warner, me with Mike Siever. - Mike Siever, I don't know. And you know what's so funny is that, is that they both, I guess, are genuinely like the nicest, nicest people you've ever wanted to meet. And I don't know. She was very sweet. And everyone who, yes, I will admit that I have, you know, I have actually logged on to her site and, you know-- - Master Beta to it. (laughing) - Oh no, no. To Mike Siever, maybe, but never to Blair Warner. I secretly did want to be Blair Warner though. Oh my God. - You are Blair Warner. - Yeah. - That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me, so. - That's the title, that's the title of episode 114. You are Blair Warner. - That means you're Joe. - Well. - No, I'm Natalie. (laughing) Does that mean the Babaloo could be Tootie? - That makes Babaloo Tootie, exactly. - Excellent. - Excellent. And that means the Rodan is-- - That means Rodan is Joe. - No, Rodan is Mrs. Garrett. (laughing) - Aw. - Thank you. - No, Michael from Qcast is Mrs. Garrett. - Yes. - No, Kevin is Mrs. Garrett. - No, that's true. Oh God. But no, so that was my evening last night. I was very excited. - Oh, you take the good, you take the bad. - You take both, and there you have. (laughing) - Well, speaking of Tina's tapas. Tina's tapas is whatever, how the hell you say it. I was there yesterday for lunch. - I'm so sad I missed you. - I know, that's kind of weird. But I, as always, my father's involved, so I have a story. (laughing) My, I went-- - Wait, wait, your father's involved at the Christian Coalition is in town. - Yes. - Coincidence? Go ahead. - Yes, they did an exorcism, and that's why he leaped onto a moving boat. (laughing) - Well. - Yeah, my dad and his wife and my little sister were all leaving. They flew into town Friday night to go Saturday to go on a five day cruise. 'Cause, you know, I'm 36 years old, never been on a boat my entire life. My six year old sister is getting ready to go on a five day cruise to the Caribbean, but I'm not bitter one little bit. So they were flying, they were leaving out of Tampa, so they stayed Friday night in a hotel, Babaloo, when I went and got on Saturday, then we went over to Channel Side, they dropped off their luggage, and we had like an hour and a half, two hours to kill, so my dad said, well, let's grab lunch. So we went to Tina's Tapas. This is Tina's Tapas. - This is this. - Everything, okay, now this story kind of sums up my father. - Oh God. - Now imagine Joe Pesci. Okay. Rodan. - Sorry, I was on mute, I was laughing. - Okay. - Oh. - Oh, well that helps. - Yeah, that helps, thanks. (laughing) - I'm imagining Joe Pesci as your dad. - Okay, yeah, all right. Joe Pesci, sitting there with his wife, who is my age, and their six-year-old child. Well, at one point, the waitress comes over and says to my father, is this separate checks? And my dad says, no, they're all my kids. Forgetting that his wife is a kid. (laughing) - Oh, no, no, no, no, we're on cruise. - Dad, we're not all your kids. And he went, oh yeah, I am married to her. (laughing) I was nervous laughter amongst not only the table, but the poor waitress, who looks like she was gonna shit her pants. So she eventually leaves, and we're getting, you know, it's tapas, so we're slowly getting plates, and we're talking, and we're making small talk. My father and I had a, not a falling out, but a disagreement two weeks ago, which those, yeah, come to Jesus talk, that those of you who look at the blog would are aware of, and I'll follow up on that after the straight. And he's talking about the cruise, and they're talking about the places they're gonna go, and the things they're gonna do, and all the things they packed for my little sister, and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. So then my father turns to me and says, oh, I totally forgot, I needed a favor from you. And I said, oh, well what? He goes, I needed you to bring me a dead mouse. - What? - What? - And I, that's, it's funny, you should mention, that's exactly what I said. I said, a dead mouse. And he said, yeah, I was gonna have you bring a dead mouse. And I said, why would I do that? He goes, well, he goes, a buddy of mine went on one of these cruise ships, and he brought a dead mouse with him, and he put the dead mouse on his bed, and then he went, and he makes such a big stink about it, that they upgraded him to a sweep. Now, this is the first time Bobaloo spent any amount of time with him. I'm horrified. I'm just like, oh no. I said, well, why didn't you just bring a dead mouse from home? He's like, why didn't want to pack one? Because, because, you know, well of course you don't, that would be silly. What the airline gonna say? I know. So I said, no, I said I could have brought you a dead possum. I have possums in my backyard, but I couldn't have brought her at. So, he was all the go, well, I guess we'll have to do that next time. I went, okay, okay, where's my calamari? Yeah, right. That is, and that's teaching your little sister a lovely lesson. Yes, yes, this is all being said in front. Well, she was too busy picking at her chicken fingers that she didn't want, so it was fine. She was in her own little world. So you got the, you got tanned tapas as calamari, so did we, isn't it awesome? Yes, it is. The sauce that they dip it in is amazing. I got that, and I got the chimichurri steak, which made me very much looking forward to the Food and Wine Festival. It's happening at Epcot. Next month? Oh my God, that's all, that's time for that already. It is, it's gonna be time for that. Is that starting September? I think so, yeah. Holy cow. I just got the Mickey monitor. Me too. I did see that Taylor Dane is coming, so I'm very excited about that. Only if you'll tell it to my heart. Yes, yes. Prove your love, got to prove your love. And so, someone else was on there, I thought you would be very, oh, Richard Marks. Yeah, no. Yeah, he said he sucked live. I saw Richard Marks back. I saw Richard Marks when I was in high school at the Mann Music Center in Philadelphia, with opening act Wilson Phillips. And I had to say, Wilson Phillips was 10 times better than Richard Marks. Because at that point, I'd been seeing a lot of Madonna and Janet Jackson, and a lot of those where there's dancing, and there's lights, and there's lots of costume changes. Richard Marks just kind of came out with his mullet, sang right here, waiting, and then left. And you were kind of like, ah, wow, okay, great. I don't think many artists get away with that kind of shit anymore. Well, I think if you're somebody like, you know, Jason Mraz or something, I don't even think then. I mean, I think you have to-- Maybe not. You have to give a good concert, or people just don't go. I mean, it has to be like Brittany level or nothing. So they have to shave their head and be drunk. Yes. That's all. Hold on, stop the music. I got Panny Crickett, y'all. Jane James, Sean Preston. Speaking of Jason Mraz, have we all seen the video, the latest video with him naked on YouTube? No. Yeah. He does a little thing where he writes about-- he talks about songwriting as an inspiration. And it's very, very cute. It's actually-- I've seen it on a bunch of different blogs. And they don't show his butt, but they come really close to showing his butt. So it's very cute. I think he kind of looks like he beats to take a shower. He does, but I think once he takes a shower, he'd be lots of fun. Yeah, I think he just gets greasy fast or something because-- [LAUGHTER] --because when he was leaving the other morning, he was-- Writing it down for the second title? He gets greasy fast. Because when he was leaving the other morning, he was already greasy-- no, but-- Oh, wow. Seriously, though, I mean, it's like they have two interviews in a row with him. In the first interview, he looks nice and sweet and normal and hot. And then the next day, he looks like, please take a Clorox bath. Yes. Yeah, he always just looks kind of gross to me, but that's just me. Him and that other-- there's another singer that pretty much looks the exact same way because all of them sound the same and look the same at this point. But he-- I don't know. I have no idea. What is he saying? I'm thinking, I don't know. It'll come to me in a second. But you know, it's almost fashionable to be greasy all of a sudden because I'm looking at these guys online through my travel weeks and stuff. And pretty much everyone who's under the age 20s-- That's why they're covered in lube. Well, when I leave, but even the pictures online, everyone under the age of 25 looks like they need to use shampoo. OK, speaking of that, speaking of that demographic and even a little bit older, what is going on with ugly underwear? I have no fucking clue before, right? OK, do you know what I'm talking about? The whole guys with-- OK, because guys with iPhones, I'm really kind of over it because it's really the same four or five guys that are just taking four million pictures of themselves. But they're wearing panties. Thank you. They're all these weird little patterned, very like '70s, like Paisley or these weird like, you know, with the white, you know, piping, but they're royal blue or they're Kelly Green. And I don't get-- why can't underwear just be gray or black? I actually bought some of the like red ones with like the white pipe. Oh my god. Oh my god. He's Susie. They're comfortable. Shut up. But-- OK, can I have a stop? Stop, stop. But you're right there. I get that they're-- no, no, hold on. Does the red with the white piping make them more comfortable? No dumb ass. If they were black, they'd be the exact same pair of underwear. They just would, you know, blend. I don't want to have-- no one buys-- OK, I don't want to wear-- No one buys red underwear with white piping because they're comfortable. They buy them because they're looking forward to someone seeing them. So please do not say that the reason you have bought them is because they are comfortable. Well, they are comfortable. That's the reason why I spent $30 on them. But they're comfortable. Oh my god. But yes. You spent $30 on one pair of underwear? No, I'm sorry. It was only like 20. He is a gay man. I will back him up on that one. But he got the red ones in case he has his period on a date. Hey, hey, hey, hey. I have actually-- I have like six pairs of red boxer briefs. Like bright red, like fire engine red boxer-- yeah. I have gray and black and navy blue. That's it. I have gray and black. And now I have some real blue and some red and some red and whites. But they're all boxer briefs, right? Not these like itty bitty little panties that there's-- I don't understand how a penis fits in it. Well, it doesn't. That's because that's-- I think that's also part of the appeal, is where the seam of the little tiny underwear go, then the head is coming out another inch and a half past the elastic. I think that's part of it. That's not-- I've wear an underwear. I've wear an underwear that's way too small. I can't imagine that being comfortable. Though I guess if you're doing it right, then it's on the floor in a matter of minutes anyway. So I guess it doesn't really matter. But I just-- I don't get it. And I just-- I'm over-- I'm over a lot of websites that I usually like to go to. And I'm not just talking porn. I'm talking like delisted. And Taffy and I had a conversation about Facebook the other day that-- I don't know about you, but I'm checking Facebook less and less. Yeah, you know my theory on Facebook. I go on Facebook for about-- I mean, I am one of those people who can say I'm going to sit down the computer for five minutes and then I actually get up. I will check Facebook once in the morning and once at night and that's it. And I don't check it anymore over the rest of the day unless I have missed my morning one. And if I do, it's only for a few minutes and I just want to see the updates. I go down until the last update that I have read and then I'm off of it. Because if I-- I don't know how people can sit and just watch those stupid posts come in of, you know, I want to know what kind of shoe I am and I want to know what color of my aura is and which sex in the city character I don't give up on. It's like a fucking junk male factory. Exactly. And it's somebody who, you know, have the people on my Facebook are people who I haven't spoken to in the last 20 years, so I don't really care what your Lord of the Rings character they are. I mean, I don't, I just don't understand the fascination with that. I find it really, I like it, I think it's really cool when people post pictures of their family or stuff that they've done. And I think it's neat to find out what people who I haven't talked to in a while, you know, have done with their life. But that's pretty much it. I don't, I just don't get into the whole quiz thing. I mean, I'll do one, maybe two. But these people who post, you know, they've taken eight quizzes in a row or 10 quizzes in a row and then they tag me and send me all this shit and they want me to comment about what I think about, you know, the color, or what flavor ice cream I don't, I don't understand it, I don't care, I don't give a fuck. Right, so, so listeners, if you're a friend on Facebook, we love you and we appreciate you, however. But I'm not going to join your mafia and I'm not going to give you a pair to plan your golf and your garden except this right now. It's not going to happen. I love you, I don't need to be a member of a mafia and I don't want to help you play at a garden. I don't plan a garden at my own house and I don't walk around in a zoot-toot hearing an oozy. I'm not going to do it for you virtually except this. - A zoot-toot, Jesus Christ. - I love you, Josh. - Unless it's a zoot-toot riot, thank you. I just, I'm sorry. - Taffy and I had a conversation about when it becomes no longer worth it to be friends with certain people because of their Facebook statuses. - Oh, yeah. - Life's really hard right now. - Dilly. (laughing) - Yeah, so, and while Taffy recently unfriended somebody, and of course, my words have come back to haunt me because I said something to her like two weeks ago when she was talking about one of her friends that everything is constantly, I don't know how I'm going to make it through the day and, you know-- - Hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on. Having said that, I don't want people to think that if you genuinely are having a bad day and you genuinely want to share with a group of people that you're quasi-close to, you know what? My son is sick today, he has an airache, you know? Everyone hope he gets better. (phone ringing) - Why does your phone constantly ring at 10 o'clock on Sunday night? - I don't know, hold on. Hello? Sorry, can't get it. No, I mean, if that's the case, I get that. That's what's going on in your life. But when you post, you know, another shitty day is on the horizon. Why can't my days just get better? That's the kind of shit over and over and over again? I don't want to hear, I don't care. If you want to tell me what's wrong with you, if you want to be a grown up and say, guess what? Or if it's something private and you want to say, you know what, I'm having a really crappy day. I hope everybody else's day is better. - Well, if you're having a crappy day and you want to keep it private, don't go on Facebook. - Thank you. And or, you know, the unhappy face. Guess what? You're not 16 and in junior high. And if you're, well, actually-- - Well, if you're 16 in junior high, you've got to have a lot more problems than this. - It should have an unhappy face. But yeah, so I had a friend who kept doing that and I was complaining a bit about it to Taylor and he goes, then delete her. And I'm like, but I get a lot of, you know, I find a lot of people from my high school by looking at her friends and he's like, delete her. - Yeah. - And then I started thinking about it and I'm like, you know what, you are absolutely right so that night I deleted her. And then I, and then because it was, he was 95% the reason because what he says sometimes sits in the back of my mind and I hate that. And the last five is because I, so she made a post that said something about, you know, I don't know why my days just can't be as happy as everyone else or something along those lines. And my comment to her was, are you ever happy? - Yeah. - Nice. - And then like, and then like five, five comments later after everybody else was like, you know, I'm really sorry you're having a bad day and I'll pray for you and what's wrong? What's happening? She posted this thing of, you know, I really wish that my old friends and my new friends could be supportive and can't we all just be there for one another and love you, delete. - Oh, yeah. - Yeah, I was done. - Well, all right, so I say this to her and then I start getting, I start getting Facebook status messages from two people. One of which actually, Rodan knows. Yes. - Oh, oh. - Because Rodan lived with him, his freshman year at college. (gasps) - No way. - Okay, so I'm going to read to you the last, I would say of his last 10 statuses. - I'm wet with anticipation. - Like the last six of them, okay? So and so says, when in doubt, just ask yourself what would Madonna do? (laughing) The next one, happy Madonna birthday weekend. Celebrate by shaking your booty, enjoying all the beautiful things about life. Madge would love that. - Is it not 2009? - The next one, headed to Mary's in Decatur for an all night Madonna to celebrate the Queen's birthday. Bring it. (laughing) - Remember when you said have Madonna birthday parties? - Yes, you said Madonna parties, okay. On the eve of Madonna's birthday, I say all hail the Queen. Next one. Happy, okay, at 12 midnight 01 yesterday. Happy birthday Madonna, you are our Queen. Next one. Happy birthday Madonna. Thank you for brightening the world and pushing people to think. And as always, thank you for the music. 28 years of getting us on the dance floor and lyric poetry that will live on forever. All hail the Queen. - Oh my God. - The next one, which was five minutes later, happy birthday Madonna. Thank you for brightening the world and pushing people to think. As always, thank you for the, oh, that's the same one. He changed that then 'cause it was something different. Okay, so and so is poolside celebrating Madonna's birthday. And then the last one was, okay, for the last time this year, thank Christ, I will ask all of my pals to help me wish Madonna a happy birthday. No one has helped me so far. I can't imagine why. Come on people, all hail the Queen. Happy birthday, Madge. I wanna write back and go, you know she doesn't read this, right? (laughing) - You totally should. That's awesome. - Oh. - Actually, you know when I'm writing, I'm setting that right now. You. Because again, apparently we're junior high school kids. (laughing) - Fairly. Oh my gosh, I thought the situation, I have a similar situation with this 'cause one of my Facebook friends be friend of Dr. Scott in town and he's annoyed with all of his Facebook statuses. And I told, just delete him, just delete him. He's like, but he's your friend, I don't wanna delete him. I'm like, dude, I delete him. He wasn't my friend. No shit. I'm sorry, but. - I have a hard time. - Right now people are probably. - Like for many people who are friends in real life. Outside, just, you know, the online community. But, you know, they're like friends. Like, I physically know this person and see them every once in a while. I'm like, I can't just delete you. - Well, that's different. I mean, that is different. - Yeah, this is somebody I haven't seen in 15 years, and ultimately, I've seen that he got fat and bald, so that makes me happy and now I can delete him. - Well, yeah, and he was an asshole to me personally for many years. So, yes, go right on it. - If it will make you happy, I will unfriend him. - Oh, it would make me delight actually. - I will do that. - Actually, I would rather see current pictures. - Okay, I will say I will get some pictures, and then I will send them to you. Because again, we are 13 year old girls. (laughing) - They're really just complaining about this, like five minutes ago. (laughing) - We were actually, yes. - There's this guy on MySpace, who updates like randomly befriended, like moved to town, brand new to town, whatever, and he'd broken up-- - You go down MySpace? - Yes. - He keeps all avenues open. If there's a chance he's gonna get some new play. - Are we now calling his legs avenues? - Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, maybe. - Hey. - So, he just moved to town, and he'd broken up his boyfriend in Texas and whatnot, and he was, you know, great guy for a little while. We chat online, started talking on the phone, and then he got back with his boyfriend in Texas, and all of a sudden his MySpace stasses, like every five minutes was, oh, what are what Jake is doing right now? I miss Jake, Jake is the love of my life, like every 10 to 15 minutes. Like, oh, I'm gonna go see Jake in four hours, 30 minutes. Oh, I'm gonna go see Jake in four hours, 15 minutes. Every day-- - So he was in junior high. - Jake is the light of my life, everyday. And so-- - Jake thinks you're a douche. - I know exactly, and it's just like, oh my God. So-- - Jake thinks you're a fuckstain. - So, yes, I took great joy in. Delete. - Deed, lead. Wow, sometimes those things have to happen. - Yes, it's tough love, baby. - Before we get much further into the show, how do we feel about possibly doing the T-shirt contest, rather than doing a video, because it's getting where, you know, we keep saying we're gonna do it, we don't, how bad if we do that live on the show? - Okay, okay, all right, well that means that I have to make up the little pieces of paper, so I have to go get a piece of paper, I'll be right back, you guys keep talking, okay? - Phil, Phil, Phil, Phil, Phil, Phil. - You know what, I think he actually just had to like pee or something. - I think so too. - No, I really do have to, I'm still on. Idiot. (laughing) (laughing) - Well, don't be meat the Taffy. - I know you don't like the B word, so-- (laughing) - Don't be mean to Taffy. - You're not Taffy. - He's not quite that brave. - All right, I will be right back, hold on. - Bye. - Actually, bye. - Hold on a second. - Okay. - Babaloo, come here. - Come here, come and help Phil. - Come here, yeah, come, come in. As I said to you last night, come and help Phil. (laughing) - Come and help Phil me out, Mr. Alex, or Phil me up. - Okay, all right. - Here, just talk to Taffy and Rudy, I have a few minutes. - Hello. - Hi Babaloo, how are you doing? (laughing) - Hello, like he's afraid, like he's ever spoken to either one of us. - I know, right? - I know. - Is Taylor gonna smack you again? - How are you? - He likes it though. - It depends on what part of the body you're talking about. - Hey, I have a question. - Yes. - Did he work you very hard today? - Or did you work him over really hard today? (laughing) - Yeah, I didn't wanna work outside and I was like, "No, I don't wanna do it." - I don't do it. - I don't do it. (laughing) - Oh my god. - So what'd you guys do? - I'm kind of like a sure. - Um, just yard stuff. - Okay, you're done, get up. (laughing) - Listen to how bossy-- - Is that what he says if he had a sex? Okay, you're done, get up. (laughing) - All right, guys. Bye. - Bye Babaloo. - Well, he's the bossy bottom. Bye Babaloo. - Wow. You have met him, right? - Yes, I guess really. - Really? - What am I gonna do? - You are a bossy bottom. - Talking about you. - Talking about you. - Yeah, I was gonna say, we were talking about you. - Oh, apparently I'm the bossy bottom. - Yes, 'cause you're like, "Okay, get up." Okay, you're done, get off of me. (laughing) - Get off of me. - Get off. 23 positions in this one-to-one nightstand. Okay, so, all right, so I need to write up real quick the-- - What if we say no? Really? Then what's going on? - I think we have a choice. - Then it's the power of editing, so just keep talking. (laughing) - She's so mean to us. - So Taffy, what have you been up to while he writes names on piece of paper and cuts? - Well, let's see. Again, it is the weekend officially before school starts, and I will have a senior. So we have been prepping Chili's tomorrow for senior retreat, and-- - And by prepping, she means drinking heavily. (laughing) - Actually, Friday night, we went out with Babaloo and Taylor. We went to Evo's, which is this organic-- - That's the law, eventually. - Yeah, it was actually pretty good. I know how I feel about the fast food, but it was pretty good. And then we went down and had gelato and espresso, and watched all the puppies and ugly people walk around downtown St. Petersburg. (laughing) And then we went to the Latte Boys house. God damn it. (laughing) Hello? All right, I love you. Oh my God, people do not understand. I am busy, I am a busy woman. I don't need to be doing this. (groaning) - Don't need to be doing what? I can't find a phone. - Oh, I thought you were going to be saying, "He's his podcast." (laughing) That could be arranged that you don't have to do that anymore. - She normally has people who answer the phones. - Thank you. - They leave at 945 Eastern top. - What the hell? Anyways. - Well, it's the summer. Your children are out and about. - I know, well, it's like the last night's of freedom, so they're-- - Making out on the beach with, you know, the lacrosse team. - Well, let's God bless them. Or in the Little Us Huffington's case, you know, the softball team. - The softball team, it's the golf team or the softball team. She, you know, she goes both ways. No. (laughing) - Oh, I have a stupid-- - My child, ladies and gentlemen. - Sorry, I have to ask. - You do. - I'm sorry, I have to-- - I finished. You just read so sorry. - I'm a finisher. - I completely did. I pulled a tap. You only got it. I'm sorry. I pulled a tap. - Bob, for you. Okay, I was going to ask about their stupid dog who had a sad tail, but now I'm not going to. - That's right. That's right. I said it. - A sad tail. - Yes, they have a pug that's tails usually up and curly and it was hanging down like a flaccid penis. And I was going to ask how he was doing. But now, no. - Didn't have that. He's the one who said I had pulled a taffy. - I know, that was, that was me. - Well, finish your story and then we'll get to her dance story and then I'll comment about my dog. - No, I just, I was gonna, we, then we went back to the Latte Boys house and we had a lovely evening of, you know, sitting and chatting. And then we, they basically said, get out. We left. - Yes, I was actually falling asleep on the couch and I was eventually like, are you gonna get out? - Get out of my house. - I don't think you were completely down the step yet. And I was already in my underwear and like. - I know. And I, I called him like 10 minutes after that. And after the fact, and he was just like, oh my God. No, you have to get out. You know, you have to just stop talking to me. - Stop talking to me. Yeah, that's pretty much the way it happened. 'Cause there's no love. - Aw. - I know. - So, get this random connection to Taylor. - Oh God. - So, you know, terminally single Tim has a new co-hosts. - Yeah. - Who like to stalk me on Bear 411? (laughs) Who they admittedly stalk me on Bear 411. And we were talking and he's like, did you used to go over, when you were in Ecker College, with the guys to go to what the hell they called like, gay meetings, or whatever, I can't remember the name of the group. - Coalition. - Yeah, the coalition meetings. I'm like, I think I may have gone once. And like, yeah, but, and like, did you ever meet someone who was like a co-chair? I'm not gonna say the name. I said, yeah. I said, we've talked about this on the podcast before. He's like, yeah, well, he was dating some guy that I thought was so hot, and I always wanted to go up to him, and I never talked to him. And I said, what did he look like? And he was like, well, you know, he was attractive, had facial hair, brown hair, dark brown hair, you know, puppy dog eyes, whatever. And so I'm like, yeah, that was Taylor. (laughs) And he was just, so yeah, apparently you had all sorts of admirers back in your college days. And you didn't even know that. - Well, he is, Taylor the law, Tay Boy, after all. - Yes. - Wait, okay. I'm confused. So somebody? - Who now co-hosts with terminally single Tim? - New, I'll say his name, Glenn. - Yes. - Okay. - And new when you were dating Glenn. And new you from when you used to go to the coalition meetings. - Okay. - And had a crush on you and never said anything. - Aww, that makes me sad when people have crushes and they never say anything. 'Cause in that love could have been totally returned and they would never have known. - Well, now this guy's part of a long-term couple. So, you know. - But still. - Everything worked out good for him. (laughs) And for Taylor. - Anyway, that's all matters. - I wish I could say the same. (laughs) - Aww. (laughs) - You're hateful, but when you come with us, it's fine. - Thank you. - So yeah, so you have an admirer now. - No, excellent. - No, I like he says that. We can go have an admirer now. - No. - As opposed to you. - It's one and only. - Never. - My one and only. - Well, what do you want to do? All right, what time of the day is it? Do we even know? - It's 10.50. I'm getting all the things ready, hold on. - Our listeners deserve rapid response. - Our listeners won't know because they'll edit most of this shit out. - Hey, did you ever, you're gonna be editing this out? I'll ask you anyway. Did you ever get the picture I sent you of the book? - No. - I sent you the email that you have to open the, it's a PDF file. You have to open it. It is so worth it. You cannot imagine how mad she was. Oh my God. - Just tell the story. - So Rodin, I was chatting with Taylor. The reason I had called Taylor after we left their house was to tell him that when we got home, we had an email waiting from Lollipop School. Got the new 0910, you know, like handbook was coming out and that she had been chosen to be on the cover. - Aw. - Now, you have to understand that while she is on the student council and she is in the top 10% of her class and she is a varsity cheerleader, I was, and she is in the choir and she has been in all the musicals and all this other things. So I'm going through my-- - Oh my God, you're a proud mama. - I know. What am I thinking? What iconic, fabulous, glorious picture are they going to use? And then I am going potty and Lollipop opens it. And from the office, I hear this blood curdling, are you kidding me? And I'm like, what's happening? What's happening? She goes, I can't even talk about it. I said, okay, I come in and I open it up. No, no, you need to understand. This picture was taken, it is the entire cover. It was one picture, it is the cover of the handbook that will be passed out to everyone in the entire school. The picture was taken her sophomore year while she's sitting in class with her glasses on, with her hair pulled up in a top knot with a leopard bow that is lopsided before the tanning bed, before the hair highlighting, before makeup. When we still wore glasses, no contacts, the whole entire thing. Oh, it is rich. It is the worst conceivable picture you've ever seen in my child. And she was still pissed. Oh, it was fabulous. That's why I called Taylor 'cause I was like, are you anywhere near your computer? And he was like, no, I am in bed. Why are you calling me a crazy person? And I'm like, who do you live in on a Friday night? I am in bed. I have had my scotch in my pudding and I have watched Matlock, I am sleeping. - Exactly. - The scotch in my pudding. - You know, both of my children were up for another four hours, but okay, whatever. So yeah, it's glorious. If I could find a way to blur all the parts out that I should blur out, I would totally post it because it's that bad. - Yeah, so this is a lesson for your daughter in humility. - Yeah. (laughing) - That is, Rodana, you do not understand, that is exactly what I told her. I said, you know what, this is just showing you that you don't have to have the hair highlighting and you don't have to wear the contacts, you don't have to have the fake tan and you still look wonderful or they would not have chosen you for this. I said, you know, you should, and she's just looking at me with the whole chat up. (laughing) - Or you could have positioned it like this. Well, they're saying that every ugly duckling can (laughing) - Eventually have, well, no. I've got those. I'm gonna make that head of me bigger. (laughing) Jesus. So yeah, that's, and of course, you know, the little is having to do in the hole. - I think that's a great picture. (laughing) I don't know why you're sad. - With the big shitty grin on her face. - Yeah, I think it's a great picture, Sissy. You should be proud and she's like gonna be like, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm. It's not gonna go well. - Word, oh, classic. - All right, do we have a drum roll yet? - Yes, we have, I will, we have a drum roll. We have 15 applications. We have 15 entries and-- - You should say we have 150. (laughing) - And by 15, I mean 15,000. We have 15,000 in. (laughing) And I'm-- (laughing) Mixing up. (laughing) Okay. (laughing) The winner of the now very dated gay days podcast. He's sure. (laughing) - It's a classic, it's not dated. It's classic. - Done. - It's a classic. - It's vintage, it's vintage. - DQ Rick, the dairy fairy. - Woo hoo hoo hoo. (clapping) - All right, excellent. So DQ Rick, when you hear this, just do me a favor and send me an email with your address and I will get this in the mail to you ASAP. And thank you to everybody who has left us a review. - By the way-- - Except for that one cock nozzle that left us the one-star review. - Yeah, that's wrong. That's wrong. - Yeah, cock nozzle. - We're usually strong, I just read it. - Okay. - By the way, 100,000 downloads. - We're at like 102,000 now. - Thank you. - That's amazing. - That's incredible. - Absolutely amazing. - Thank you. - For our 102,000 downloads. That's absolutely amazing. - Anyways, all righty. - Well, congratulations DQ Rick. Wear it with pride. - Yeah. - Did you need to take a picture of you wearing it and we'll use it as cover work for cover work. - Cover art. - For a future episode. - Did you just sense and tap his voice that she was like done? - Yes. - I'm done with the show. - That's okay 'cause I'm done too because this room is getting hot. So-- - Thank you. The no fan and it's just three computers on. Oh man. - Yeah. - All right. Well, let's wrap it up then. Do we have anything else that we want to talk about this week? - Well, I was going to talk about a house that's hot. - You just said you wanted to wrap it up. - No, no, no, no. Hold on. Did you hear that some guy burnt down his house because his mom threw out one of his like little whatever action figures? - No. - Wow. - Yes. - Apparently some 29 year old who still lives at home. So there you go. But he had, was it called Gundam G-U-N-D-A-N? - Yeah. - Yeah. - Okay. Well, apparently she was doing something and she had thrown out a bunch of them that he considered to be valuable and he burnt the house down. - God. - No, I'm sorry. - Did you hear about the guy who got caught jerking off in the backyard and punched his, by his mother and he punched her in the face? - Oh. - How lovely. - Oh my God. - He was like in his, he was like in his 20s as well. - Oh. - Where he apparently was jerking off like in a lawn chair in the backyard and she yelled at him from the window to knock it off and he went around the front of the house knocked on the door. When she opened the door he punched her in the face. - Oh my God. - With a handful of spunk? - Yes. - Oh. - And insult to injury. - Give him a queer son with his bunk. - Because what happens when you get come in your eye? - It burns. (laughing) - And on that note. - And on that note, as always you can go to our blog which is potasmycopeilot.com. You can email us at potasmycopeilot@gmail.com. Call our listener line at 206-202-5165. I swear to God we are gonna have a voicemail episode one of these days I'm not exactly sure. - There we are. - Lies. - And we'll have it. Speaking of lies, Rodan where is the music episode that you promised me for life? - I have had to have some time. - Yes, loser. - Oh bullshit. - I told you I would take 15 minutes and I will do all the editing. - Did he not have time to go to dinner? I believe he did. - Oh, that's true. That is true. - Thank you. - You bet you had. Hours that you could have been sitting at dinner. That you could have been home. - That's right. - Talking about why you love James Bond themes. But now you decide to go and sit and wait. - And think about those. - Yeah. Oh, Jesus. Okay, well then. - It will be years. - Yeah. - Yeah. - Get it done, please. - Yes. - Get it done. - Thank you. Okay, well that phrase will never go on in episode of this show. - No, it's thank you. The fact that you came out of my mouth makes me must throw up a little bit. - Yeah, I apparently I'll be punching you in the face the next time I come to your house with a handful of spunk if that makes it feel like, you know. - Yes. - Yes. - Yes. - Anyway, Facebook group, you can join our Facebook group which is okay so I love "Pod is my co-pilot." - As long as you don't invite us to be part of any mafia cake. - Yes. - Yes. Accept now. - I don't want to hear what facts of the life member you are because we've already told you what ours are and that's all that matters to us. - Exactly. All right. - So, guys, thank you very much for downloading episode 114. This is Natalie. - And Blair. - And Joe. - Have a good week, everybody. Bye. - Have a good week. - Have a good week, everybody. We'll see you later. Bye-bye. - Bye. - Jesus. Are we done? - We're done. - Crazy people. ♪ You take the good, you take the bad, you take 'em both ♪ ♪ And there you have the facts of life ♪ ♪ The facts of life, there's a time you gotta go ♪ ♪ And show you growing now you know ♪ ♪ About the facts of life ♪ ♪ The facts of life when the world never sees ♪ ♪ To be living after your dreams ♪ ♪ Suddenly you're finding out the facts of life ♪ ♪ Are all about you ♪ ♪ You're living after your dream ♪ ♪ And suddenly you're finding out the facts of life ♪ ♪ You're living after your dream ♪ ♪ And suddenly you're finding out the facts of life ♪ ♪ You're living after your dream ♪ ♪ And suddenly you're finding out the facts of life ♪ ♪ To be living after your dreams ♪ ♪ And suddenly you're finding out the facts of life ♪ ♪ Are all about you ♪ ♪ You ♪ ♪ It takes a lot to get 'em right ♪ ♪ When you're learning the facts of life ♪ ♪ You're living after your dream ♪ ♪ And suddenly you're finding out the facts of life ♪ ♪ Are all about you ♪ ♪ Black for life ♪