Pod Is My Copilot
PiMC:Episode 113 - Have You Handled Her Hemmroids?, or He Has A Lazy Eye, But I Like That
STOP! Before you listen to this show, be sure to listen to Foul Monkeys Episode 230 (www.foulmonkeys.com). That is where you will find the first part of this two parter!
Ricky, Julian, Taffy and Taylor hung out at the Foul Monkeys Studio to do a live show on Pride 48. it was SO much fun - thank you to the Foul Monkeys crew for their hospitality, and to all the listeners who showed up for the chat room and to listen to the feed.
(and yes, I know Taffy and I sound far away on this one - we were sharing a microphone.)
blog:podismycopilot.com, email: podismycopilot@gmail.com, phone:206-202-5165, facebook: Ok, So I Love Pod Is My Copilot.
Hey guys, this is Tear of the Lotty Boy from Pot as my co-pilot. The episode you're about to hear is actually part two of a conversation that Taffy and I had when we went over to the Fel Monkey Studios over in Lakeland and had a really good time with Ricky and Julian. Nicole was not there unfortunately but hopefully we'll catch her next time. If you'd like to hear part one of the show you can head over to Fel Monkeys and download it there if you haven't already subscribed and if you haven't what's wrong with you because it's a really great show. I hope you guys enjoy. We had a really good time and want to thank Ricky and Julian for their hospitality. Thanks a lot. Here's part two of the Pot as my co-pilot Fel Monkeys crossover episode. Bye. I'll never be your beast of burger. I'll blue really. Look, he still can't get his name. And they're like typing it out. Do this. Okay. Here's the look at what Texas Alan mine is the quotation marks. Yes. And type that in. You will be good. Yeah, we're going to torment him for about the next year and a half. Yeah, exactly. Right now he is. He is probably going. What the fuck? He's got his hands up there. No. While he's surrounded by dogs that are just looking at him like, "Why are you freaking out? You're sitting at a desk." Hey, when daddy yells at me. If anybody has any questions for us, type them in. Granville Redhead is now Bob a blue. You had your chance, Bob a blue. Yeah. So is there anybody in the room that are new listeners to Fel Monkeys or a Pot as my co-pilot? And you're here because you're across? Dressing. Yeah. Cross listening. Yeah, he still messed it up. He said I had a dog issue. I wasn't listening. He tried to do it there, but he still didn't do it. Dear God, click on help and do what it says. I love him so much. I really do. I love him so much. He's pretty. He's pretty. And he's funny. He had me laughing really hard last night for something that I was told I'm not allowed to talk about on the show. Oh. Which means we'll talk about it. Let's see. Gravitus says last five episodes. Cecil's across listener, Laurie Dean's both, Pooh Bear are new to Fel Monkeys. Well, if you're new to Fel Monkeys, Amy says she's bored. We are not. Amy, go find a bridge and jump off. Or you could just listen to Pot as my co-pilot if I was my co-pilot. Amy is actually a listener from like episode like two or three. I mean, like she's been listening a long time. And she's stuck with you through your crappy years. I know. I know. Is Nessa still in the room? Nessa was in there a minute ago or a little while ago. No, Nessa's listening on her iPhone at work. Oh, OK. So, and you can't be in the chat room. She tweeted it, I think. Oh, is that how that works? Yeah. Daniel, we've never heard of your show before. Mm. OK, we'll remember that because his show's on right after mine. Yeah. And we won't be playing it. And we won't release the feed either. Is that Daniel? Mm-hmm. Yeah. Why no he's heard of my show? Because he's been on my show. Our show. Sorry. Our show. Oh. Wow. Wow. Mm. Little Freudian slip. Fuck you. Fuck you, Julian. This is my damn show. I'm the cute one. I'm the cute one. You are still pretty. Thank you. That's what we refer to how we refer to people who aren't very smart upstairs. Right? They're pretty. I got it from where me and because you're stupid. Excuse me. Brittany is now my new hero because she says, "I listened to you both, but I like Potter's my co-pilot better because of chatting." Mm. Mm. Mm. You know what? I need to totally get her out of this room. Yeah. [laughter] We all have Brittany. She's our favorite. Now we're-- Of course you love Brittany. [laughter] It's Brittany, guys. [laughter] Right. I'm sure she's never heard that before. I wonder if that's Franco's Britney because he always calling him with Brittany. Um. Does Franco listen to your show? I don't know. I think so. I think so. He's like 18 or 19, right? Yeah. And he's getting ready to move to Florida from New Jersey. Is he cute? Mm-hmm. He's cute. Do you have a picture of him? Um, not right now, but I'll show it to you. [laughter] We're kind of in the middle of doing something. Yeah. But if you want it later, you can do it. [laughter] Where in New Jersey is he? I don't know. The whole state's a skank. Was it hard? [laughter] I believe Taylor is from New Jersey, but thank you. I'm sorry. The whole state is skank. I don't even know why they call it the Garden State. Oh. Somebody said you guys have real personality, whereas I guess we don't have any. [laughter] Will you have less analysis? As we get like fist fights in the room here. [laughter] Yeah. Who's Taylor? Text Bob Blue exactly what he has to type in his whole phone. [laughter] And he's going to continue to be made fun of. Poor thing. Who's going to ask me to slap you? Why? It says slap him, Taffy. Can I slap you on your date? Ugh. Slappy on my change? Yeah. No. Not after the show. Not now. We'll use that for video pockets for our own show. We'll do it. Exactly. All right. We have one more phone call, but Lenden can call in. Yeah. So. Loser. Glenn, you need to call in with a story, but it can't be a real bad story because we live. We are only here because of Pott as my co-pilot. [laughter] Who said that? We have the text chat rooms. Well, apparently your listeners can't figure out how to change their names. No, our listeners. It's just my boyfriend. No. Where is our scan? Blue wants to know how clean is my house right now. Their house is beautiful. Their house is gorgeous. This house is gorgeous. Your house is beautiful. Julian's house is gorgeous. Whereas Julian had to force Ricky to clean his bedroom and bathroom. It was not forced. I was going to do it anyway. Okay. My boyfriend had to re-clean your bathroom after you cleaned it. Aww. Why do we mind me and Daddy fight? Whatever. [laughter] I'll remember that around rent time. This is a gorgeous house. Are you remember that around rent time? I'll remember that around change the walks time. [laughter] All right. Here's the last phone call we have. Hello everyone. This is Nessa. I'm totally bummed that I can't be in the chat room and interact with you guys. But I just want to let you know that I will be listening from my iPhone, from work, as I do over time again for the fifth time this week. I'm really tired. Anyways, I just wanted to say hello. I love you guys and I will talk to you later. Bye. Do you know why she can listen over her iPhone? Because she has one. She has an iPhone. [laughter] I don't. I know. Are you waiting for your contract to run out to get one? No, I don't have a contract. I have my phone through work and I am charged $5 a pay period for my... So, it's like... Who's the company? It's spent. It's horrible. Is your phone? Yes. This piece of shit floppy. Oh, wow. Okay, they got it for us because it was supposed to be next time we could all talk to one another, or driving and everything, except they forget that we're all in patients' homes and people are texting without talking about other patients. So, it's a whole confidentiality thing. Yeah. That's awesome. You're in Mr. Jones's house and Mr. Smith, you know, the nurse calls us a... Have you called Mrs. Smith's, you know, have you handled her hemorrhoid yet or whatever? [laughter] Have you handled her hemorrhoids? Yes. [laughter] And my answer to that will always be no. [laughter] I have gone into some homes where you walk in and the smell... the waft itch in the face and you're like... Aw, no, but I'll meet with the kid outside. Absolutely. Wow. But I can't be in here because I will vomit on your child. [laughter] Aw. That's sad. It is sad. It's very sad. Like, houses are nasty, like... Yes and no. I mean, sometimes because of that, sometimes because the people that we take care of can't take care of. They're busy. They're just too ill. I mean, that's part of our job is to go in and help them to where their home is clean. So, have you seen, like, cockroach is crawling up and down the wall before? Oh no, I had a cockroach crawl in my head the other day. Oh! No, he caught me. And he was at a sound house. No, no. [laughter] No, I was standing waiting for... It was one of these families where I was standing... Waiting for the family. They were, like, the kids were getting dressed in the other room. And I had just happened to be seeing them in the living room and all of a sudden I felt something on the back of my head. I'm like, "What the hell is this?" And I reached back and opened my hand. And it was actually, it was a cricket. It wasn't a cockroach. I was, like, the cat in the Looney Tunes cartoons where all of a sudden there was a puff of smoke where I was standing and then you seen it. If you were going to have my toenails in the ceiling and my teeth are chattering... [laughter] I'm really not into the bugs either. No. And Florida is the worst place to live for that. Yeah. And the other day I was outside taking the trash out and a fucking lizard jumped out from behind the trash can. It was, like, this long. It's, like, the longest one I've ever seen and scared the shit out of me. I hate those things. I need a sound bite of that, too. You're saying it's the longest one I've ever seen. Oh, right. [laughter] Yeah. I don't know what it's about. How does my copilot... I don't know why you were scared of lizards. Lizards are good. They eat the bugs. Yeah. We had a baby, baby lizard in our house last night when we were making the cupcakes. And we have cupcakes. Yeah, there's cupcakes. [laughter] And it was maybe about an inch big, and Babaloo was like, "There's a lizard in the house." I'm like, "Great. The lizard will eat the bugs." That's... Yeah. My cat eats the lizard. We also need a sound bite of you skewing. It was an inch big. [laughter] I took it along with Ricky's. It was the biggest one I've ever seen. So Babaloo's name is Babaloo for the love of baby Jesus. And he logged out. [laughter] So we can't find a dog to get out and he logged out. Apparently though, the bugs get in your glory hole. What? The bugs get in through my glory hole. No, it says, "The bugs get in through your glory hole." [laughter] It's through my... Oh, who's? Yours. Oh. You remember? I don't have one of those. Well, you said you did about it. Yeah. But I don't really. Have a glory hole. Yeah. I can say I've never done the glory hole thing. Picture Ricky three feet in the air. That's not happening. [laughter] His ankle's three feet in the air. [laughter] Without that, your microphone's gone. Wait, it's my microphone too. [laughter] Assholes. You know what? You've had a pretty good this episode. Yeah, your hole's not here. Which means I want to be on an episode when it calls here. [laughter] Well, you know, she has her vertigo and everything. So, you know, I don't know if she'll ever make a show. We should do a girls only. Me, Nicole, and Rodin. It'd be awesome. But neither one of you know how to do the stuff. Yeah. What could be Ricky's dream word that he had that he talked about on his last episode where... Oh, we were doing the show, but we made him set up the equipment. [laughter] But wouldn't let him take me off and wouldn't let me do anything. Like, once I get everything set up, they tell me to leave it around. [laughter] No. You and Rodin have been chosen. Without you? Yeah, where I said I'm not going to be-- He allowed us to do it once. Yeah. Obviously. He allowed us. Excuse me. I said before, I want to take a week off. You guys do a show and you guys are like, "You need to be there." Yes. Was it like that? [laughter] I don't want to get him through the night. I guess that's all right. I think Archer got fed up with the sound. He's like, "I'm fucking out of here." I don't see him chatting anymore. Oh, well. Well, compared to what it was when we started-- It is a lot better now. Compared to what it was, it's a lot better. But when I go to post it, I'll run it through level later. [laughter] So it sounds all the same. We don't know what that means, but-- Oh, well, it takes the higher sounds and the lower sounds and kind of makes them sound more even. Level, like, level later. Ricky, show us your boobies. We already seen my boobies. Yeah, if you would have been on time, you would already know that everybody's seen my boobies in the room. Taffy, show your boobies. [laughter] I'd have to roll them up first. [laughter] Why do you say level later with such disdain? Because on a Mac, you have to take it from whatever version garage band does it in, and then you have to convert it to whatever to get it into level later. Then you get it back into iTunes, and then you have to convert it to MP3. It's just-- It has to be a wave file, doesn't it? Yeah, it's like ridiculous. Or AIFF file. Do you have iLife O9? I just got it last week. Is it not the coolest software, the iPhoto, where you can do the faces? Yes, that's very cool. I haven't really played a lot. I mean, I haven't done all my photos like that. You're in for a shock, because when you actually start putting in your face and it picks all the faces out of your book. I'm getting there, don't worry. [laughter] It does thumbnails of all of your faces, so it pretty much soothes your faces, your face, over the course of time, and there's not all the other distractions of backgrounds and other people in it. It's shocking. I'm not an attractive person. [laughter] Oh, stop it. And neither was she. I love her. There's lots of pictures where we're like, "Oh, God." But John Goodman is the best, because John Goodman has faces where she looks like a Jabberwocky, and it's awesome. Wow. Archer said not if you record the right way the first time. Oh. Talking about level later. Wow. I'm sorry, Archer. [laughter] When we get paid, we'll start recording the right way. Right. Exactly. Now it seems that we're going to either have to place the microphone or the board. No, I don't think it's the board. If it was the board, none of it would be working. Well, how can every mic be going? I think it's the table. I don't know. But the table's been working good. I know. And it was another table that was shit before. Operator Air. No, not Operator Air. Sorry. Um, so, all right, we have... Yeah. I can 13 minutes left. Well, I can already hear Franco calling in for the next episode, telling me I'm going to bitch the whole show. Yeah. They say he complains too much. You're going to complain too much, the substance? Usually I don't only when I'm... The live show? The first live show? You complain a lot. Yeah, I know. Yeah. You are particularly... Ditchy that day. Yes. You were definitely... Well, considering I was worked up and nervous about it being our first live show, and then Ricky totally just leaves me on the mic for like 10 minutes by myself with nobody to talk to. And I'm not used to, you know, taking up that much time by just continually talking. And I'm freaking out. And he's like, "Well, Nicole, let's just try to get you in the chat." No, that's not working. And I'm like, "How are y'all doing today?" And I'm just lovely and blah, blah, blah, blah. And then the phone call started screaming in my ears. The phone call thing was a nightmare. It started perfect. And then by the end it was bad. So did you want to tell them about your work story? Yeah. I forgot to talk about that. Yeah. Somebody was nice enough and douchebaggy enough to order Instinct magazine and have it sent to my work in my name. Where I am not out at. Oh my God. Yeah. So. [laughter] Oh my God. Yeah. Just tell them in any sort of like plastic wrapper. Well, it was the bill. Yeah, it wasn't the actual magazine. It was the bill saying, you know. Welcome to your new gay magazine. Yo, this much. And it said, "Hey, they're gorgeous. You just subscribed to the number one gay magazine and blah, blah, blah, blah." And I'm thinking, "Oh, sweet Jesus." Tell them what the secretary looked like. And she said this. Well, she calls me at her office and she's like, "You know, I have to open all the mail." Okay. So she hands me and I'm looking at it. I'm like, "Just stunned and speechless." She's like, "I didn't think you would have something like that sent here." And I'm like, "No." She said, "I figured it was probably somebody playing a joke." I'm like, "Yeah, must be." [laughter] Alex, things have colded it. [laughter] Nicole. She's not that smart. How did they not know fucking Lou are not that gay? Well, it could have been like XY magazine. Do they still have even have that? I don't know. That was a little tweet magazine. That was kitty porn. That was gross. Yeah. But do you know who was on one of the... Because Rodan used to get it. Do you know who was on one of the first covers that did a big pictorial spread in XY magazine? Who? The Backstreet Boys. Really? Nick Carter was on the cover of right before they made it really big. I guess they were trying to get out there. Right, right. It was this hole where they were doing this whole football. You could probably look for pictures on Google where they were doing this whole football spread or something where they were hanging out on the bleachers and all that sort of stuff. Anytime I would say Nick Carter, that would go through my head as it came on the cover of XY magazine. The other thing that went through your mind when you saw Nick Carter was, "How fast can I get my hand on my junk?" No, the only thing that goes through my head is Nick Carter is how big of a skid mark does he have. He's just plastic. I can't do that. Lance Bass. Lance Bass. He had a little beard going. Lance Bass. I think he needs to get his eye fit. He's got a great eye. He does. But I like that because he doesn't... You like that? Yeah. Lazy Eyes are hot. Luke City is going to show up at my work and drag looking like Courtney Love. You can't. You're Latino. [laughter] You can come looking like J-Lo. Oh, God, a futon is good mark. [laughter] Futon is loud though. [laughter] X-Y's been out of print for a while, I think. And yeah, that mag was trade trashy. You know what's worse than that magazine though? It's an anyway to finish my story though. [laughter] Wait, you being Taylor interrupted you? I know. You don't share. I just have no problem doing that. But before I can tell when Ricky's going on to a totally different subject, I just wanted to wrap that up. Whoever did that was pure fucking trash. And I have a pretty good idea. That they're listening. [laughter] And, you know, just say that Karma comes back on them. Karma's a bitch. Karma's a bitch and Karma will take care of it. And that's why Nicole's not here this week. [laughter] She's run unscurred. He said, "I can't look like J-Lo. I'll look like a Puerto Rican hooker." You already do. [laughter] The show takes a nasty turn from the ask you minutes of the program. Wow. I just want to talk about the movie I went to go see last night. Probably the worst movie I've seen this year, other than Star Trek. G.I.J. No, we all want to see it that we're all. You all want to see it. We do. Oh, my God. Lame. So, I don't know what to say about it other than bad acting. Like, I noticed some of the things that were in the movie could never possibly ever happen in real life. But when you have like a bunker or whatever under water in the ice caps and you go to blow up a machine, does it really burst into flames under water? Something tells me that a movie like G.I. Joe is pretty much a suspension of belief. I mean, you're going to be entertained. I don't think anyone thinks those things are actually going to happen. And then, as just in another example, as they're on the north ice or the northern ice shelf, you know, at the North Pole, they're all just in regular clothes like this, just walking around. I'm like, really? Isn't it really fucking cold there? It just didn't make sense. Then they can't show off there, you know, six packs. And then the good people were all dressed up and fur and all that stuff. So, I was like, okay, whatever. Was it filled? Was this the theater filled? No. No. Was everybody pretty much laughing and groaning it? Yeah, but apparently the person next to Nicole really likes G.I. Joe, and then when we were talking about it during the movie, he didn't like that so much. Could have been just nuts with it. You were talking badly about G.I. Joe, but the fact that you were just talking through it. No, it's because we're talking about G.I. Joe. But, you know, their numbers were not good. Yeah, they're not at all. Not at all. Not at all. I don't know. Maybe they didn't have the right cast or something. They just... Well, it's not Channing Tatum. I mean... What the hell? He's cute. Isn't Dennis quite me, too? Yeah, he's in it, too. Big and dumb, which granted I like that, but... Because I like them big and dumb and with a lazy eye apparently. [laughter] So, yeah... When are you getting ready to say "don'ts"? I'm making a piece of eye, but I made a face in him twice. I hope I don't get any bad emails for that because... God, when I was talking about Star Trek... Yeah. Peritable Virgo sent me a good old email. That was one of the funniest things I've ever heard in my life. Especially the dramatic way you read that, right? It was great. Well, apparently they're making a remake of Nightmare on Elm Street, which I'm a fan of today because apparently Ricky likes to have the shit scared out of him all the time. Yeah, I do. [laughter] I don't understand. Halloween 2 comes out, too. How do we do another Halloween 18 or something? No, they start over. They re-making. Rod Zombie does all the Halloween's now. Rob Zombie. Rob Zombie. Yeah, Saw 6 is coming out. What? I think I saw that weird clown guy or something. I think I've seen the promo for that. He's the one that also made the collector the same director. All right, so we have five minutes here. Let's go to Taylor and Taffy some time to talk about their show and, you know, Rodan. [laughter] We've been talking about Rodan for five minutes and he can't respond. Yes. Thank you for this little slice of heaven. [laughter] Challenge extended. Right. Go ahead. What? Talk about Rodan. I'm not going to talk about Rodan. Rodan. Rodan. Hi, Rodan. No, what's been going on with you? I didn't fart. That was actually my elbow again. [laughter] I was like, wow, they're really close. Taylor has been very sick this week. He's been ill. Yes. That's why he has lovely drag queen voice. If I have sound odd with my sticky shoe, my sticky shoe voice, that's why. How many cough drops have you taken since you-- Uh, two. Oh, okay. I had, no. No, because I had five. I had five unwrapped and you took one and there's only two left. So if you want to hear that, that's my cough drop. I'm sorry. Sure it is. I'm slapping against my teeth. [laughter] That's my change. Slapping against your teeth. Oh, no. [laughter] If your taint sounded like that-- That is a shot. Don't cure that. Maybe you have it with me. Daniel said you can keep going. Yes. Daniel said you can keep going. Going and going and going. Wait. Trucker Alex said that. Yeah, but earlier Daniel said that. Trucker Alex was just repeating it. Oh. What Daniel had said earlier. Well, that's up to you guys if you want to keep going. It's up to you. I can go for as long as you need me to-- I can go all night. [gasps] Ricky and I just bonded. [laughter] I'm going to be really ag. Okay, so what is the-- You've seen a lot of movies this summer. What has been the best movie that you've seen all summer? Mmm. That doesn't include porn. No, I would like-- Like I was really bad about remembering movies because I don't even remember how I go see them well. Most of the times. Because it's Nicole. Pretty much. Um, he would have to say black cocks, white jocks. Yeah. Oh, I have it right here somewhere. You have porn? Joe says it to us all. Joe says it to us all. It's not me porn. All the time, Joe says it to you porn. Yeah, since he thinks I'm racist, he sent me black cocks, white jocks. We know. [laughter] You have heard that John Goodman thinks that the black cock going in the white ass is very artistic. Really? Yeah, I did hear that and I would love to hear the interpretation from that person. That's the one. You really don't. No. No. No. Because this cough-drop rapper has a bigger IQ than John Goodman does, trying to get the explanation of that would not go well. [laughter] Laugh, but you don't understand. Yes, because you haven't pierced into-- you haven't had your, you know, shit. What's that I'm going to say? Yeah, if you were going to say he hasn't had his ass pierced by a black cock, you're wrong. [laughter] Well, you know, the icy cold stare of John Goodman piercing into you from across the room going, he's really kind of cute and he looked at me for a few minutes. I think that means he wants to fog me. [laughter] Oh no, she actually at one point said about one of our friends who was gay and in a relationship. You know, he's really nice to me. I bet he's only 95% gay. Do you think I should, you know, go for it? That's serious. And you said-- I said what the fuck. [laughter] Is this the one who's dick she sucked in the parking lot of pleasure? No, I believe that's true. Oh, apparently that 5% does occasionally work for Goblin Pussy. Goblin Pussy. [laughter] What? I'm uncomfortable. Anyway, what? [laughter] Back to the, you know, a reframe. What is the movie that you were going to say was your favorite movie? [laughter] There was a point at some point to this guy. You know what's bad when Taffy's the one that's redirecting us back to his story? Yeah, I know. Well, I have to say visually appealing. The ugly truth, because Gerard Butler is so hot. And then Joe told me-- Hey, my hands are wet now. [laughter] My hand under my ass. My hand was on your seat now, it's all wet. Apparently, Joe said right before 300 came out, he was doing interviews and he said he's been in relationships with guys. Yeah, I have seen that. There's a chance for us, Ricky. God, he's so hot. I didn't even see the Terminator because I saw Transformers, and I would have to put that up there with Suck. Sucky. Well, it's just loud. And Sucky. And pointless. Yeah, and Megan Fox is a whore. She's so disgusting. She's why Taylor Lovenlyn calls a sloppy snooter. Yeah, I could literally see the hepatitis jumping off of her. Yeah, and the general awards just hanging out of her shorts. I saw it all. Did you say a magic award? [laughter] That's seen on the bike when that's in blue right here. That's what I'm actually able to see the snail trail along. [groaning] That's a really nice for all the folks at home. The snail trail. Yesterday, when we're coming out of the movie, she said that Cole looked at this girl. She was like, "Could you really have your shorts any shorter? I could totally almost see your asshole." [laughter] They said that one of the worst places to pick up, what is the, is it, what is the fickle disease? Hepatitis A. The worst place to pick it up is at a movie theater because of girls who wear the short skirts and short shorts. When they sit down, if they have a thong on or no underwear, their ass is touching the seat. If you think about that the next time you're a theater, it's disgusting. Don't wear your shorts at the theater. Could you imagine it's probably ten times worse that mug of movies? Oh yeah. Where the guy asked, "Is it popcorn and chicken like a combo?" Is it like pieces of chicken and popcorn together? In the same box? Yeah. Totally. [laughter] Well, county's finest. That would suck. Oh, I got Hepatitis from the movie theater. Sure you did. You cheated on me, bitch. You ate somebody's asshole out. You've been sucking dick down at Saddle Creek. That happened to me with crabs, actually, where I got, I got crabs back when I was in college and I was living in the dorms. From Rodan? His name is Rodan. [laughter] And my boyfriend at the time was very like, "Is there something you need to tell me?" And I'm like, "No." And he's just like, "You know, I got crabs." And I'm like, "What the hell are you looking at me for? I haven't done anything to me." But with all of these things, I never got it from everybody. I live in a house with like 15 other guys. God knows where I got it from. You have crabs? [laughter] And crabs when I was in college. Aw, gross. You're just now processing, man. I'll be closer to the microphone. I'm appalled by this. Thank you for making me so closer to tell everybody how she's appalled. It was a twenty-one. I was twenty-one once. I don't think I ever had crabs. You don't think you've ever had crabs? Children's. [laughter] Touché! You were busy squirting babies out like a big water sprinkler. [laughter] I was by the giant if he worked into every show you do. Because he's obsessed with by vagina. Let's get frank. I'm not obsessed with your vagina. Trust me, I'm not obsessed with your vagina. It's the same way. It's the same way we work the cold titties into every show. Right. Our titties are always... There's some people. How did you record in here with them? [laughter] Daniel Brewer called and said she needed to lift him off the microphone. [laughter] A lack of oxygen in here. I'll learn from all the space they take on you. Yeah. I love it because last night we were at Cheddar's and there was this black guy at a table that was taller than her. And she was like... [laughter] And she was like... [laughter] [laughter] Our Taffy and Nicole the same person. No, God, no. No, we actually have pictures of Nicole and I together at Gay Days. Yes. It was pictures of the biggest boobs and the longest boobs. [laughter] Nicole, like, dies laughing every time she thinks about that. She just dies laughing. But you know what, had Melanie been there at the time when we were talking about that. Mm-hmm. Have you got Melanie's boobs and Nicole's boobs in a room together? The space time continuum could shift. [laughter] Their ariolas are big enough. Oh, you're not the ariola. [laughter] I always ask Nicole if I can see them. See, she has big old baloney nipples. [laughter] The ones are... [laughter] You know what I'm talking about. Like a piece of salami. Don't lie, I can be a piece of salami. Like, bam. You know that a woman's lips are the same color as a nipple. [laughter] I just forgot. If you have, you've got lips to go on and you take a nipple and you put it up next to your lips at the same color. And how do you know this? I know this because all of my sorties... 'Cause she sucks on her boobs. No, but yes. [laughter] No, because all of my sorties and sisters and I did it in front of a mirror once. And we all compare, we're like, "Oh my God, it actually works!" [laughter] That's what you got. That's what you got. That's what you got. That's what you got. That's what you got. That's what you got. [laughter] That's what you got. I just didn't buy mouth. [laughter] I like that clip. Yeah. Oh yeah. [laughter] You're a mess. There was, you know what? That person that sent in the... [laughter] Apparently, they sent in another one, but I don't have it on here. I don't think. That's what you got. Oh, that's the old one, Ryan. Mm-hmm. Alright, here's... Did we play this one on the last show? Oh, okay. [laughter] That's the same person. Oh, apparently we didn't play it twice. Sorry. We suck sweaty horse balls. Ugh, horse balls, really? We should have like a five minute amnesty window where anybody can ask you any question for the next five minutes. You have to answer it. Okay, anybody can answer any questions. Someone's trying to ask us questions. We did say we'd answer it honestly. We just said we would answer it. Chicken tetrazini nipples? [laughter] How long are we going over? Um, well, we're at 406 now, so we'll do like ten more minutes. Okay. No, we've got to ask a question now, so if we need to answer that. Sometimes they don't do that, they pretend. I think people just show up in the room just to make us feel better about ourselves. So, there was people actually probably like dusting right now. Right. Probably like Walt or Daniel and Archer, and let's see who else in here. Rambo Redhead. Yeah, they're not talking from now. So what did Rambo Redhead talk about for 12 hours? I don't know. I didn't listen to any of the eleven and a half hours of it. [laughter] Um, I don't know. [laughter] Wow. [laughter] So now that you've graduated from college, what's next big Ricky? Please, he's already talking about taking another semester of Spanish. Yeah. I think you want to do that. Oh, my boy from Miami texted me in Spanish, and I didn't remember how to text him back. So now I need to take five more years of Spanish. [laughter] Um, no, I think I'm going to take Spanish 3, just so I'll have something to do, because last week I was just sitting with the chair watching TV, and I was just like the, well, people in the chat room can't see this, but I was like, oh my God, what do I do? I had nothing to do. I was like that. I'm sorry, guys. Oh, no, I was just saying, and then, you know, I've been going to school for five years, so it's not like I can just call friends and say, oh, what's up? You know, because I don't have a lot of friends. Oh, I can't believe I just said that. All his, all his contacts in his phone are either other podcasters or tricks. Say, don't we live just like an hour away? I believe we do. And if we talk about that a little bit, you know, a bunch of things. But coming over, like, right after, you know, getting off work at like seven or six. You put you there at seven thirty. Are you a hundred and ten? I know. You have to get back here, so they should be, you know, yelled at all the kids in the neighborhood to get off the line. Are you kidding me? Are you kidding me? He gets home, and I've got to take a nap, and then when he gets up from his nap, he'll, you know, screw around to a like ten thirty. I'm tired. I don't get a bed. Me, I'm old. See, you think that he was in the napping, but he was really on manhunt, and then the guy said they were coming over and saying, "Oh, I'm tired. I'm going to the house." I was going to get... His bedroom windows. Yeah, I was going to go there. They come to the front door because they'd like to ring the fucking doorbell at one o'clock in the morning. Yeah, I was going to get bare for one instead of manhunt, but same thing. Yeah, whatever, same thing. Um, take foul monkeys on full time. Oh, go ahead. I'm sorry. What I was going to say is I remember my first, the first couple of months post grad school for me were very... I would come home because for a year and a half that I was working full time and in grad school full time at the same time. I was a delight to be around, let me tell you. Sure. And I would come home every night and I would read two hundred pages and I would be writing papers and all that sort of stuff. So for those first like probably two months post graduate, I was very... I have nothing to do and I would start to read a book and I'd be like, "Okay, well, I have remember this." And I'm like, "No, wait a second. I'm reading this book for fun. This isn't far right to something." It was a very weird feeling. You'll eventually get back to that settling feeling of... I never did. I've still read through books like I have to finish them in a day. For real. I will eat a book because I know I have to finish this because then I have to... And that's how she lost all that weight because books are so full of fiber. Yes. Apparently someone wants to know if Melanie and I are doing a video podcast? A video podcast about what? Scissoring. That's going to be hard when she's in Texas and you're in Florida. She splits that big. Who? Melanie. Is book what she calls "Tanks Junk." Amen. She would eat that every day. Isn't that more like a scroll? High protein diet. Okay, we get ready to leave and come and visit the loveliness of Lakeland. And Tank kisses me goodbye and this one's like, "She's not shipping off to war!" Well, you know, once you go to Polk County, you might not come back. It's right up there with Afghanistan. Or down there. Or Wasila. Wasila. Oh, jeez, I got to quit my job. You know, one of these days my mother or my little baby with Down syndrome might have to go in front of Obama's committee and let them know if they're going to live or not. Yeah, it's evil. It's evil. It's like a death camp, don't you know? Shit, yeah. Shit, yeah. I'm going to check if you can't have your diabetes medicine. I'm with that Obama in the administration. We're all going to listen to that hippity hop and that smoothie dog dog. I don't like it. It should be traditional American values for traditional Americans. I believe that marriage should be between two unwilling teenagers. Right. Right. Now, I got to go because that bastard that knocked up my 17 year old daughter is going to sell a story to the publishing companies. He's kind of cute. He's very cute. He's a real dumb. But, you know what? This one you should think was cute. Are you really going to tell my shit? You should think was cute. Jeffrey Dahmer? No. Who? Peterson. Scott Peterson. Oh, he was cute. Thank you. He was kind of cute. I was like, oh, wow. Do you know what? I thought it was cute. And I'm actually really embarrassed about this one. Do you remember, like, you might not have been living here, but you were living here. Remember the baby Sabrina? Yes. The Heisenberg? The dad? Yeah. I thought he was really cute. I don't even remember what he looks like. I thought he kind of looked like he was a little-- he looked like one of those, you know, computer nerds gone kitty porn type. Oh, yeah. Yeah. He always had-- They busted about 90 of them in Polk County a couple weeks ago. Yeah. That was national news. Yeah. Who was the one that, what the hell was her name? The girl that they always dressed up like in the pageant. Jamba name? Yes. The dad with all the freaky eyes. No, I didn't-- I'm not going to say he was cute. I just said he had to-- he looked freaky and had those eyes. I was like, but I thought Jamba name was so hot. Oh. Wait. Did I share too much? Did I take a new one? Wow. With all that crannling, with all that blue mascara. Oh, my God. I have to adapt to that. All that hairspray. That's not your responsibility. Isn't that what you're supposed to look at when you look at those kids? Like, isn't that because you know, sexify them all up? Well, yeah. If she's dressed like a prostitute, then you're just like a prostitute. Have you ever seen the show "Toddlers and Tieras"? I've heard of it. Is it awful? Lola and Drum are in love with the show. And Lola sent me a bunch of pictures. It is the scariest thing you have ever seen. They have before and after split shots about the little kids. I'm not going to be like two, three years old and look like. And one of the women that were on it got into a lot of trouble because she entered her two week old into a pageant. Wow. Two weeks. Because you know, I was a boy and she's like, and she had a little tiny tuxedo made for him. And she was like, you know, he was really flirting with the judges in two weeks old. No. No. No. No. He was flirting at their titties because he was hungry. For the record, I'd really like to say that I really don't think Melanie Ramsay is gone. A trucker. Send your emails to. A trucker Alex said, "Chominase." Oh. Dad looked like Bill O'Reilly. That's mine. I'm just going to say it's not Mike, because my phone is off. And he doesn't have an iPhone. And I don't have an iPhone. Yeah, he does have an iPhone. Yeah, he does have an iPhone. Chominase dad looked like Bill O'Reilly. Yeah. I don't think Bill O'Reilly. Bill O'Reilly's a fuck stain. Anybody, the evil looks like Bill O'Reilly. Well. Or George Bush. Or George Bush. Well. We have the. We have the. We have the. We have to take Chaney and Lakeland. Oh yeah. We went to Chili's. No. Really. But it could have been like his twin brother. Yeah. It looked just fucking like him. He even had that same scowl. Apparently he did a trucker. Oh. Too late Taylor. We know that what a pervert you are. Well. Obviously you are a fan. Okay. Yeah. That's, that's why it must be why you have Rodan on the show. It takes the. It waters me down. Exactly. It makes you look better by comparison. Julian was so upset when he found out Rodan was a horror. No, I wasn't upset. I was just shocked. I was shocked because I didn't realize my horrorometer was that far out of calibration. He's good at turning it on and off. Like you would never know in having conversations with him. Yeah. That those ankles have seen the ceiling more times than anybody else in the world. He's just that good at it. So don't feel bad that you were. Yeah. When he drinks it get he. Oh no. No. No. I was going to say he gets very handsy, but when he's sober he's handsy too. I mean. Cause I'm. I think I was felt up more by Rodan this past weekend than anybody else. And I was felt up by quite a few. I have a picture of Taffy and Rodan and Babaloo all laying on a bed in Fort Wilderness with their legs up over their heads one night. So it's just asses and ankles. That's pretty much all you see. We're trying to see who could eat and for all of us they have the Murphy bed. I'm trying to see who could kick your feet up and touch the headboard. Oh. Which actually is not difficult. You've actually had years of practice of that. Oh. Yeah. No, Rodan. Did he break the headboard? No. That's a big ass. Rodan's Guru Nudy's new hero. I'm sorry. I used to pride myself in being able to pick out a slot. You know, pretty easily, but that one fooled me. Kind of hard now. You know, because after meeting in the gay days, I'm like, okay. And then I'll start listening to your show. I'm like, he's a big whore. Yeah. For the record, Rodan. Julian's the one who said you're a big whore. I had nothing to say with that. I concur. You know, as I wait until it's just you and I have conversations. I'm like, you're a big whore. That's why that happened. I didn't say that in a bad way. It's endearing. It is. Nathan as well. I used to be a big whore. He means well. He is. I used to be a big whore. Nathan actually contacted me from the show that he listened to. And he was like, just to let you know, I'm not only into big boys. I was like, oh. Okay. Sorry. Seems to be your record. When looking over time at your past conquences, the cosperuses, we see a common theme. Big boys. Skin aprons. Skin aprons. Skin aprons. Oh my God. Light the guy in jail that had a pistol under his skin, ain't it? She looks like she's about to puke. That made my belly hurt. I heard the fan myself on that. Two people who have skin aprons. You have? No. I know if you have two people who have skin aprons because if you figure, you know, like, you know, things have a tendency to move independently and then slap it against one another and then there's sweat involved. You can tie them in a knot like when they tie puppy's tails. [laughter] Um, cub dukat. That's his name. He goes scy. Thank you. All right. So, I think we're going to let Daniel take over his part of the show now. Okay. Um, let's do some cleanup. Go ahead and talk about your show and all that good stuff. Well, you guys can listen to our show at podismicopilot.com and should I do the whole rigamarole? Sure. You can email us at podismicopilot@gmail.com. Call us at 206-202-5165 and you can be our friends on Facebook at okay so I love podismicopilot. And we have a fan page that I ignore because I can never post anything on it. What can't you? I don't know. He's not bitter. I don't know. Christian from, that's what she said, you know, your spinoff show? Uh-huh. Oh, the one I invented? Oh, okay. You want to admit it? Um, they, he set it up for me and I appreciate that but it only, does it only let you like post like one thing a day? Is that? I don't know. I don't know. Okay, so, but we also have people that are subscribed to both and we appreciate and love all of you. Excellent. Wow. Taylor the lots. Hey boy logged out out. Yeah, it keeps logging in. It keeps logging in. Because you're not chatting in, I guess. Um, well, you can always come to Falmunkies.com or go to iTunes and listen to us. Absolutely. Or you can email us at Falmunkies@gmail.com. You got it right. I'm so proud of him. Yeah, I had to learn something. He quit asking us to learn it because he knew there was fricking no way. Taylor say, okay, you know, Taffy, why don't you, you know, try to trip us up. I could not type in. padazmunkopilot.com. Quick enough to get our information up to get it. I always ask you if you're a little killer. You always said no. I lie because I know you. I knew you were lying. I can't do what it did. You don't know the phone number. I totally know the phone number. It's, it's, it's, you know what? It's coming to me. It's coming to me. It's loading. I mean, it's coming to, it's 206. You have to bring something to the show. I will shove you off that chair. I don't care. This microphone is going to be shoved in one of my earphones. Oh, oh. And my microphone, she means fist. Oh. My willing. Just mark it and we'll let the call use that one next time. You can give us a call at 206-984-FAL. You can join us on Facebook and MySpace and Twitter. Oh. Oh. What? It's like in my space. And Twitter. And my Twitter name has changed from foul monkeys to big Ricky FM. Because, um, no, not Stalker. Because everybody started calling you big Ricky. Yeah. Because I can't even think of why it's called that now. Your dick is big? Exactly. You got that right. Mm-hmm. Let's see. I guess that's about it. We'll be doing a live show and not next weekend, but the weekend after that. Every other week, we'll do one. Okay. So, um, I guess that's it. Thank you for downloading, um, one half of the show where one half of the show is going to be on foul monkeys and then their half is going to be on pot as my co-bilot. So if, well, if they're not in the room, they really don't need to know that part. No, they really don't. Right. And then, um, you guys can listen over there. So, that's it, people. This is tricky. Thank you for having us. Oh, you're welcome. Yes. Thank you very much for coming over. You interrupted Julian. A thousand parties. That's okay. Are you going to spank me now? Yes. We're going to have cupcakes now. Yes. Cupcakes. You're going to spank me and I get to get a cupcake. It's Christmas. All right, people, we're out of here. See you. Bye. Bye. Stop. Don't talk. Don't say anything. You don't want anybody here. My checking account number is. Oh, god. Someday they're going to find out. [BLANK_AUDIO]