Pod Is My Copilot
PiMC: Episode 107 - The Pros and Cons of Assless Chaps, or Watermelon Watermelon Watermelon Watermelon
Taffy gets the giggles, Taylor gets insulted and Ronan gets two tickets to the hog show in Shrievport. It's another episode of Pod Is My Copilot
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(upbeat music) - One, two, three, ugh! It's time for another episode of "Hot as My Co-Pilot", with Taylor the Latte boy, Taffy Carlisle Huffington, and Rodan. Take it away, kids. (upbeat music) - Hi, everybody, this is Rodan, and I just signed hello. (laughing) - And styling. - Thanks to Taffy's brilliant idea, thank you Taffy. - No way, did you actually sit there with your hand out kind of trying to form letters, or did you just sit there? - I was actually, yes, I was. (laughing) I was doing like sign language gibberish. - He just waved at the screen. (laughing) - So, welcome, you just downloaded episode 107 of "Hot as My Co-Pilot", with your host, Taylor the Latte boy. - Hola. (laughing) - Taffy Carlisle Huffington. - Hello. - And myself, Rodan. - Rodan, now I realize it's only, you know, a minute 20 in, but is it true that she just had sex wrapped in his gut? (laughing) - I did not. - He, okay, in Rodan's defense, he did not say that he just had sex, he said he just finished a date a few minutes ago. - Okay, well finished, finished off. I was just curious. (laughing) - No, it was very innocent, and it was just getting to know someone, that's all it was, it was very nice. - Good, that's nice. - That just means oral. We went and saw year one. - Oh, I'm sorry. - Oh, damn it. (laughing) - Yeah, Jesus. - So how was it? (laughing) - You know, actually, it wasn't as bad as you would expect. - Wow. - Considering it's a Jack Black movie. - And I have no expectations. - So, wait a minute, is it one of these where Jack Black kind of played sort of like a crazy guy with a wild look in his eye, and Michael Sarah played like a little neurotic skinny guy? - Oh my God. - It's shocking. - Wow, imagine that. - I know, they both stretched. It was such a stretch of both of them. (laughing) I don't know how they could have acted. - No. Oskar's all around. - To be honest, Michael Sarah is, I would rather be locked in a room with Jack Black than Michael Sarah. - Yeah, I don't understand the whole-- - Oh my God, I can't, I want to just punch the fucker. - Oh, Jesus. - I do not understand the appeal. - It's, it's, it's, I, man up! Is all I want to tell him is just man up. - Did you? - You know, he's, he's not manning up to the bank because he's made a lot of money starting when he played George and Michael. - I know. - And arrested development. - Did either of you see Juno? - Yeah. - Oh God, yeah. - Okay, Juno, I was the same way when I watched that show. I thought, oh my God, why would she ever have sex with him? I don't understand it. I, I-- - Well, actually, I couldn't figure that out. - I could have known girls like that. I can see it. Cause I'm known girls like that. I could see it in Juno and he was in it just enough that he didn't annoy me. But never seen? Fuck no. Sorry. I'm a little angry, apparently. - Well, she had sex with him because that he was-- - He smelled like pandemic texts. - No. She had sex with him because he-- - Go ahead, sorry. - She had sex with him because he wasn't going to challenge her. - Oh, right, yeah. - Like, you know, she used words as her defense and that was her way of keeping everybody in her arms linked and he was the type of guy that wasn't necessarily going to challenge her on things. - Right. Very much like the Michelle I went to high school with and then came to college with me. - Who hopefully doesn't listen to our show? (laughing) - She does. - Very much like Taffy and I. (laughing) That's why Taffy has sex with me all the time because I don't-- - Yes, yes, that's it. - You will get hard and you will get hard now. You will fuck me to the left this time and at least four-- - And I just stand there in front of the video camera like Coco with the end of fame crying. (laughing) - I'm bending his shirt slowly. - My large, dark nipples exposed to the world. (laughing) - Oh my goodness. (laughing) - Go. - Oh. - Somebody's getting a phone call. - Wait, there's a call. Hold on, oh, all right, hold on, sorry. Okay, he just got it. - Tank is so efficient. All right, I'm sorry. - Oh. - Is he in the room getting-- - No, he's-- (laughing) - No, you-- - I know, I understand that later, that's later. - No, you banned us from that behavior. - Yes. - And why did I ban you from that behavior? - Because I was not developing, I was not giving my full attention to our listeners or to my co-hosts. And you did not-- - When? - When he was doing stuff to me. (laughing) - Oh, well. - Okay, can I talk about that for a second? Not him doing stuff to me, that's not what I'm talking about, but. - Oh, can I just real quick, just one more thing that we did on this whole date. - Yes. - Real quick, is we came home and watched Real Genius. - Oh, God. - It's about humor. - Are you trying to get rid of him? (laughing) Did you decide within the first five minutes that you didn't like him, so you were going to have him watch year one and then Real Genius? - Because about humor, again. - Both of them were his idea. - Oscars all along. - And then send him to the chicken ranch or what the hell is the name of the place that he said that he needed directions to? (laughing) - Raisin canes. (laughing) - Okay. - Chicken ranch. - Sorry, so okay. - He was asking for chicken, but not necessarily the kind that you get at a restaurant. (laughing) - I don't know what that means. - To the gay bar. - Yes. - Oh, sorry. Now Taffy, you and tank sex. - No, no, no, no. I have nothing to do with tanking ice-ex. I didn't mean to interrupt your date talk. - It's okay. That was it, really. That's all we did. It was a good kind of get-to-know-you kind of thing. - Well, it's nice. - Well, that's nice. I mean, will we be seeing this young man again? - No, I am not sure. - And how old is he? - 14. - 27. - Wow. - Okay. - So we're back to the younger ones. - Back. (laughing) - Lauren was 37, or Warren is 37 now. - Wait a second. Wait a second, what? - I do say was. - Warren is a was. - No, Warren and I are still talking, but obviously he's really far away, so. - And you know, if you can't be with the one you love, love the one that you're gonna take, that you love so much, I think I'm gonna see a Michael Sarah movie, so. (laughing) God, you're a horrible person. - Speaking of diddling podcasters, Taffy, go ahead with your story. - No, it has nothing to do with tanking and having sex. It has to do with bookstores. (laughing) - And having sex in bookstores. - No. - Taylor. - No. (laughing) - What? - That has never happened, you fuckers. - Oh no, there's too much denial there. There's been sex in a book store I wanna know about right now. - No, no, no. - No, there is not. I am way, okay, because again, children's counselor caught in, yeah, that's all I need. - Exactly, yeah. - Not that I would necessarily look to have sex in a book store, but that. - I've never had sex in a book store, but I've had four play in a book store. - You've had sex on the book store counter. - I've had four play in a book store, but never actual penetrative sex. Anyways, we're completely off the subject again. Okay, focus people. - Sorry. - Okay, so. - She headed in this cell, she masturbated in this self-help section. - Yes. (laughing) - To a picture of. - To the irony in that at all. - To a picture of Dr. Phil's wife, yes. That's exactly how that happened. - Aw, baby. - Okay, you clearly didn't get the joke, but. - I don't understand those jokes. - Self-help, I masturbated in the self-help section. - Well, I've never been to a self-help section, so I wouldn't know. All right, listen. People. - Which is ironic, because you need to help more than anything. Okay, go ahead. - Oh God. (laughing) - So, is there something, is it just me? I'll pose this to you too, and I'll pose this to our listeners. I am split personality in a bookstore, which I realized tonight, because I admittedly have a filthy mind, and everything that I hear, even if it's, you know, I don't know what, the chronicles in Narnia, I still think it's dirty. Yet, I can walk by every section in the bookstore, and I can glaze over it in two seconds and know if I want to stay there. But when I come to the, I guess, I guess they are kind of self-help, I don't really know, but it's like the whole, you know, where all the Commasutra books are and all those books. (laughing) - When you come to the sex books, you have a hard time moving away from sex books. - No, that's just it. I get embarrassed. Not embarrassed embarrassed, 'cause I don't really embarrass, but I get to, I know, I get to the point where I like, I like, you know, if I take one of them to look at, I put them like in between my-- - Eyes. (laughing) - Shut up. I put it between my delicious desserts and my quirky political satire. And I don't know why of all people that I like that, but I'm very aware when I sit down, I make sure there's no kids around. If I'm gonna look at that book, I make sure that the people around, if I'm gonna be thumbing through the book, I make sure whatever picture my thumb is on is something that is a text or that's appropriate to them. - You said delicious dessert and thumb. (laughing) - No, she did. But, you know, Tappy's all sensitive at the bookstore at Walt Disney World. - Right. - So how many cocks do you have in your ass at one time? - Did I say that at all? I think I did. I think you're right, actually. (laughing) - I think you did. Not to me. - But no, I think that, I don't know why, I never realized that until tonight, because there is a new book out. I highly recommend anyone who's getting it. It is a book of erotic photography. And on the cover of it is a pair of old lady white underwear. And I thought it was going to be a fun, I genuinely thought it was gonna be a funny book because the underwear that's hanging on it were kind of funny. I thought erotic photography, so it's gonna be like, you know, someone hanging up laundry and it's something sleep. No, no, no, no, no, no. It was erotic photography. But then as soon as I opened it and I saw what it was, I thought, okay, well, I have to make sure that, you know, there's no one behind me that can walk by me. And you know, all of a sudden, there's a clitoris, you know, good morning, a muscle top. So, I-- - But Ricky with his iPhone. - Exactly, accepted, you know, a mushroom. But I wondered if anybody else was like that. If you got a book and you were very aware of the book, of course, I know that Lolo right now is going, no, because you don't look a book like that in the public. I understand that, but other people do sometimes, I guess. I don't know, maybe it was just me. - I honestly, I don't look at stuff like, I'm usually looking at trade paperbacks and magazines and thumbing through that sort of thing. - You've never stopped at that section of like, you know, books a million, or borders, or Barnes and Noble. You've never ever stopped at that section, like, you know, just the, I keep saying commissaries. - I've looked at the covers of stuff like that, but again, a lot of times the covers to books like that are for heterosexual couples. - Right. - And I have no interest in-- - No, that makes sense. - Taking out the best way to, you know, stimulate a fuzzy mimosa and-- (laughing) - The most deaths. (laughing) - Clef pallet. (laughing) - Ms. Shaggy D.A. (laughing) - Now, although since Taylor is looking at trade paperbacks, he should be a little embarrassed of what he's learning. (laughing) It should be hiding it behind a men's fitness, or a gay porn magazine, or something. - Well, I will tell you that I was, I was randomly, 'cause of course, you know, Tank is like a fucking wall of magazines. So I know it's gonna be an hour and a half because he has to go, it could be, it could be a golf digest for black men only. Tank wouldn't wanna throw it. He loves magazines more than any person I've ever met. He wants to look at all of them. He doesn't even care what they are. So there's, he's looking at one that's like-- - Cool, digest essence. (laughing) - Exactly. So he's standing by some, I don't know, how to do everything book. And of course, I'm looking at Maxim. So there's, you know, a really good insight into our relationship. And right beside the Maxim is the Maxim Guide to Weddings, which by the way is hysterical. Except they have actual cake toppers that you can really buy from a website. One of them was the bride with her legs straddling the groom around his waist while they're in this big and passionate kiss. Yeah, I totally ripped the page out of the magazine 'cause I'm gonna order it for our 20th anniversary, like, you know, vow renewal ceremony. It was awesome. - Now, Taylor's topped a cake before, but I'm not really sure. (laughing) - What? (laughing) - I think we just caught Taylor not paying attention. - You know what? I swear to God, I thought you meant, was like the scene from "American Pie" with the apple pie. (laughing) - That's kind of what I meant, yeah. (laughing) - Taylor, you stopped the cake before. (laughing) - So you mean cake isn't like a euphemism from like a twink or a twinkie or something? - No, no. - Okay, you actually met a cake. I gotcha. - I've never had sex with a cake. (laughing) - He's in a big reality. (laughing) The mental image I have will never be the same of cake. Oh my gosh. - I'm just thinking a big wedding cake, like you know, four tears, like giant. (laughing) - You forget, you live far away. He can take it out on me. (laughing) - Oh, I'm sure he'll take it out on me later. - Well. - I hope you're both enjoying yourselves. - I really am. (laughing) - Well, good. - I've been in a car for eight and a half hours. The first three and a half hours of which were with, you know, a 13-year-old going to camp. - Oh. - And it was all, oh, I hope this counselor's there. Oh, oh God, I want to count myself. And don't you, I know you boys don't have any idea any reference of this, but nothing is any worse than if you have two children that are with your child and one instead of parents, you really, really like. And the other mother, you want to punch in the face every time she opens her mouth. - No trust me, I know mothers that I have to punch in the mouth all the time. - Shut up. (laughing) Yeah, there's this one mother who, she's a close talker. - Oh, I hate that. - Literally the conversation today. We're standing in line getting ready to check our children into camp. And she goes, you know, I really, really hope that Hannah has self-confidence during camp. I really hope camp gives her self-confidence because I just think if you have self-confidence, you'll just go as far as you possibly can in this world with a little hard work and self-confidence. You can do anything. I stayed there, I looked at her and I said, "I was just going to ask you if you needed a help for her." (laughing) And she goes on, I don't think why are you talking to me? I don't know you. I don't want you to speak to me because she's literally three inches from me and I'm backing up to the point where my back is like touching tank. Like, get away from me, you fucking crazy burs. (laughing) I don't know. I need to drink. (laughing) - You should have said maybe you need a little less self-confidence. - No, that's when those were, you know, exactly, where you want your child to have self-confidence because clearly you're living your life I seriously threw her. But I behaved. - Yeah, well, okay, did the littlest Huffington get all set up in camp, okay? - She did, and of course I'm supposed to tell you that you're supposed to email her. Starting tomorrow. - Yeah, I will. - Yes, I will. - Yeah, I was gonna say, let's give me the email address. Let's give it out to everybody. - Exactly. - There's a part of her, that would really love that. (laughing) - Oh yeah, she would totally be sitting, you know, cross like a during, you know, chapel and go, oh my God, I got 16 more emails because, you know, my mom has this podcast because, you know, she's so cool. And, you know, look, all for listeners love me because, you know, I'm doable something. Yeah, she would totally be a part of that. (laughing) - Speaking of giving people advice without their asking for it, can I tell you all about my evening on Friday night? - Oh yes, please. - Please. - Okay, so Friday night I drove to Orlando to see my college roommate Brian and his wife, Susan, and they have two very, very cute little kids. They were staying at Disney World and rather than do one of the parks again 'cause I had to work on Friday. I went Friday night and we hung out, we had dinner. It was fun, all that sort of stuff. - This was your roommate? - This is my college roommate, yeah. This isn't the roommate that is the reason why I wrote Dan and I met. That's all a whole other story for another time. This is like my first real roommate that I went through many roommates in the beginning, which is shocking, I know. But then when I finally got Brian and Brian and I got along really, really well. Okay, so we hang out at the pool at the resort they're staying at and we're watching the kids and they're having a good time and we're all sitting around, we're catching up, we're making fun of people that we knew, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. So we have decided that it's time to go eat and they were staying at the Caribbean beach resort. So it's kind of when you go into by where the big pool is, it's kind of like a food court setup where they, which I know is one of Taffy's favorite things in the world where they have, you know, they have a pizza section, a pizza counter and a burger counter and like, you know, I got rotisserie chicken and broccoli and all that sort of stuff. So it's important to note that at this point, I guess I can make the announcement that I just started a new medication from my diabetes and I'm on biata, which is an injectable medicine. - Oh, I thought you, I'm sorry, I thought you were gonna make another announcement, but go ahead. - No, so-- - No, that Taylor's becoming tailina. (laughing) - Yeah, yes, yes, that's the other kind of injections that I'm giving myself, it's estrogen as well. So, and it's one of these where I have to inject it into my stomach, which is not as bad as people probably going, oh God, but it's actually not as bad as it sounds. It's a very little prick. - Hmm, I'm sure it is. - Yeah, yeah, and you don't even feel it, you don't even, you don't even feel it when it goes in. Hi. So, okay, so we all decided what we're gonna get and I excused myself to the bathroom to, you know, inject my medicine. So I walk into the bathroom and I open the door and the first thing I hear is, (screaming) - Oh my God. - Oh my goodness. (screaming) - So I go around the corner and I can't decide if it's somebody puking or doing something else. - Trying to poopy? - But it's clear that, yes, pooping, that's where I was going with that, thank you. (laughing) Thank you for the folks at home that hadn't quite figured it out. (laughing) - They thought they were trying to get a pirate boat out of the wedged. - Exactly. - So, okay, so, but anyway, this guy's in one, this guy's in one stall and then the other stall is being used by somebody else and then in front of the urinals, there is a dad that's about my age and his son who is probably about five or six. So, I'm standing there like, okay, what do I do? I also don't wanna be necessarily, you know, holding a needle to myself as this guy is randomly yelling out these noises 'cause then I would, you know, I would manage to stab myself in the eye with the pen. So, I'm thinking to myself, you know what, I might as well just give my injection right here by the sink, you know, plus there's a counter right there so I can change the needle, blah, blah, blah. So, I am getting ready to inject myself and the dad and the son come around to wash their hands and just as that happens, the guy lets out this another moan. - Oh, god. - Two eggs and three of us look at each other and just start laughing 'cause at that point there's really no one else we could do but, you know, the little boy was like, "Daddy, what's he doing?" And he's like, "I don't know, I don't know." (laughing) Come on, let's go. So, about that time, I get the needle in, I have to set up the needle where I have to twist the little knob on the end, do all these different things. I've got my shirt just kind of lifted just enough to where I can actually inject myself and the guy comes out from the stall. - Wait, you're not in a stall doing this? - No, that's what I said is that there was, there wasn't a stall open, so I had to do it and it's not like we're one of these where I'm, you know, slapping the vein on my arm like I'm shooting a heroin in front of all these little kids. There was other than this little kid who was standing with his father, there was no other kids in there. I can do it, it literally takes about five seconds. I have to inject it, count to five, pull it out, and then I'm done. So this guy comes around the corner where the sink is and he says, you know, I must have swallowed about a gallon of pool water in there. - Oh, okay, lovely. - You're amazing. - Yeah, so I went, oh well, let's add a lick, you're having some trouble, pretty much left at that. So about that time, I go to inject myself and I'm counting to five and he goes, I used to take that and I said, "Bye, eta." And he said, "Yeah, I used to take it." And he goes, "I would just take all sorts of diabetes "medication. "My diabetes was out of control. "My A1C was like a 12.1. "Now, when normal is like six." So I went, "Wow." I said, "That's pretty high." And he goes, "Yeah." And I said, "Well, what did you do "to get off all the medication?" So at that point, now he's not wearing a shirt 'cause it's right by the pools. So he turns around and he has about a one inch scar above between his stomach and his chest. And he says, "This is what I did. "This is what I did right here. "I had a lap band surgery. "Best thing I could have ever done for myself. "I lost all sorts of weight. "I got off all my diabetes medication." - Wow. - And I went, "Oh, well, good for you." - Was he a big eye or a small eye or? - No. And about that time he goes, "You should think about having one of these." (gasps) Nice. - "I was one of these when I turned around and went, "What?" And he says, "Well, you should totally think about "having one of these. "You got off all your diabetes medication." To which now, okay, you can go one of two ways with this. - Right. - You can think, one, he's talking about the fact that, you know, diabetes medication is an expensive and costly thing that, you know, it would be wonderful to get off of it. On the other hand, you're thinking, "He just called you a big fat pig." (laughs) - And Taylor, how did you take it? - I took it as he called me a big fat pig. - And what did you say to him? Did you say anything? - I just sorta went like, you know, (laughs) just sorta went back to finishing my needle and then he proceeded to wanna walk out with me and tell me all about the lap band. And I must've said, "Well, good luck." Like 19 times. - Was he a big eye? - No, no, 'cause he had lost all sorts of weight. So I just sort of was like, fuck her under my breath. And then I went and had my rotisserie chicken and my corn and my broccoli. And it was damn good, even though I really wanna barker. - Because, but do you think, I mean, is there ever really a polite way to have that conversation really? - No. - That's, I just think that's the tackiest thing in the world. - And that's the whole thing of it work when they tell me that I should totally go on the biggest loser. - Yeah, that's just ridiculous. - Right. - There are people right now that are totally laughing at that. And it is funny when you think about it, but it's that whole, you know, what do you see when you see me? I mean, you know, I have a master's degree, I like to think I'm intelligent, I'm funny. Or in that case, it might be Jolly. (laughing) I guess that's the nom de plume, not nom de plume. - That's the wrong word. - That's the same, not nom de plume. - That's why I should go buy his Jolly. - Yes. - And I don't know, but it's just sort of one of these that I kind of got the, as I'm sitting there, I'm gonna, I just got called a fat ass in the bathroom. (laughing) Buy an asshole. Who was-- - Who can't shit, apparently. - Yeah. A constipated asshole called me a big fat ass. - Well, that's, well, that's perfect. - And Bobaloo is laughing. - Of course he is, of course he is. - Of course he is. - He's over there giggling next to me, fucker. - Aw. - Bobaloo's dead to me. (laughing) - Yes, Bobaloo's dead to Tammy. And why is Bobaloo dead to Tammy? 'Cause he didn't wish me happy birthday. Why, I just heard, I heard her in the back down, go, what? (laughing) That's fine, that's fine. I-- - It's a pleasure, happy birthday. - Try it, he ruined my birthday with your friend. He has to learn to live with that. Fine. - What? What would you do? Oh, apparently he will eat your pussy out and take makeup. - Well, he threatened to rape me when we were gating himself. (laughing) - Well, no, he didn't threaten to. He just said he would rape the shit out of you, I believe. - I believe that was true. - I'm confused. - Time, we'll talk later. (laughing) We're gonna get letters. (laughing) - Rape is fun. - That was great. - No, God, don't say that. - Don't say that again. - Tammy said that last time and the National Organization for Women came beat down on her. (laughing) - Oh. (laughing) - Oh, God. - We don't mean it. - What did you do today? Boys, what did you do? I was stuck in a car. We know that, and we know that Rodin, you know, had a quasi-trick. - It's not a trick, it was a date. - It's not a date. - I think it was a date. He took to see at Michael Zero. - A trick where you don't have sex and you spend, like, eight hours together, it is a date. - You spent eight hours together? - Eight hours? - Yeah, we did. - Jesus. - And that lunch job. - You didn't even get a hand job? (laughing) - No. - He's a lady. - Wow. - I'm a lady, exactly. - Where are you guys registered? (laughing) - Oh, please. - Well, he's not a lesbian. (laughing) - Exactly. (laughing) - You know what? He's gonna have to start fucking lesbian soon because he's running out again. He's running out of gay guys in Monroe. - This guy's in Monroe. (laughing) - God, he's outsourcing already. (laughing) - I am, yes. - He's outsourcing anal. - Yeah. (laughing) - There's a limited candidate pool here in Monroe. - He just walks around town with a button on it and says, "I love anal." (laughing) - And then they just... - Yeah, that's it. - They come in droves. They come in lines. - Oh, oh, oh, oh. I remember what else I did this weekend. - Did he just become a horseshack? What just happened? (laughing) - I went to a drag show on Friday night. - Yes. - Was it gonna... - In Monroe. - Oh my God. - You really counted as a drag show when they put a wig on the livestock? (laughing) - It was pretty close. There was this Tatiana was a first time drag queen. She was like a drag virgin. - Yes. - And so apparently some lesbian must have done her makeup. And I'm sorry lesbians, that was inappropriate. (laughing) - You have seen Kelly McGillis, haven't you? (laughing) - She is like this drag queen. Tatiana was six foot five with heels. So just a tad bit, like two inches taller than me. And she's a big woman. But someone did her makeup and they made her trying to define her chin. But they did it with such a wide streak. - Oh God. - Did it look like she had a five o'clock mustache? Or five o'clock shadow rather? And then they did her cheekbones. So it looked like not only does she have five o'clock shadow but her boyfriend beats her. - Aw. - I mean it was like purple. - Maybe she was, maybe she was Tina Turner. - Really? Really a Tina Turner spousal abuse joke? Is it 1984? (laughing) - Did her and Queen's do Tina Turner don't they? - None of these did. These all did like Britney Spears mega mix and Lady Gaga mega mix. - Oh God. Can somebody explain to me the Lady Gaga thing? - She's a man, we explain this to you. (laughing) - Okay, I like her music. - We do it. - But I don't see, it's not a good drag song or drag queen like mix and stuff because you either need to know how to do dance or you need to be able to do the words. If you can't do either, what's the point? Besides just flailing around on stage, mouthing the words to watermelon, watermelon, watermelon, watermelon. (laughing) - That's a title for episode one, I was saying. - Watermelon, watermelon, watermelon. - It was like, she doesn't even know what the hell she's singing. So it was-- - I don't think Lady Gaga knows what she's singing. Thank you. - That is a true statement. And then there was another one who did a backflip doing a birdie speaker song. (laughing) - I don't know why that's funny, but it is. - Honestly, it may be a little stage. It just does this backflip out of nowhere. I was like, oh my god. - In Lucide Heels? - She had bigger arms. - In Lucide Heels? (laughing) - She was wearing Lucide Heels. - Okay. - But there was only four performers and one, you know, obviously because you have to have the token black drag queen, you know, she did some Whitney song which I was like, what? (laughing) - We're gonna get so many letters from this episode. - Have we talked about the time that you did drag? (gasping) - What? - I think so. I think so because we talked about the fact that I did a for improv class. - Yes, and there was video somewhere. I believe this. I've heard this conversation. - Yeah. - But you know, Taylor has never done drag, or has he. Rodan, do you know the inside scoop? - No. - I know he hasn't. - No. - Unless he calls wearing your underwear drag. Okay, now I know you're wrong 'cause she doesn't wear underwear. - That's a fact. (laughing) - I had a friend put makeup on me once, and it was not attractive at all. And she ended it with a turban. (laughing) - Well, of course you did. - Because it made me look like that goddamn Tweety Bird. (laughing) - A turban really. (laughing) You know what? Tank used to wear eyeliner when he was in his whole club scene. He had the proverbial, you know, black hair with the blue tips and he wore eyeliner. And he wore eyeliner well. I dressed him up in makeup once. No. No. It was not a good look. Not attractive. - Okay. Tank with, like, the whole old goth boy rave. That would actually be kind of hot. - It is very hot. - Actually, I have pictures. - I think what I need to get. - Yeah, it's very hot, actually. - My pants are down right now. (laughing) - Oh my God. (laughing) - Mine too. No. (laughing) He looked really good in it. It was very much the, you know, I'm the army sergeant by day and at night I become, you know, flame boy. - I'm Tatiana Ali. (laughing) - Exactly. - By night I have-- - I just, the whole muscle raver, kind of, muscle goth raver. - Muscle goth rape? What was he talking about? - No, I said, like, the muscle goth raver, kind of behind. - Yes, that's exactly what he was. He was, you know-- - In a leather harness? - No, he was very much the-- - And chaps. (laughing) - Okay, now we've gone into leather. Okay, you took a segue. - Dude, it's very funny you said that because we were talking about chaps with no pants on the way home from the camp today. Because we draw, okay, well no, we-- - Oh please, you were talking about it on the way there with the girls in the back seat. (laughing) - When you asked Villello's Huffington if she had packed hers. (laughing) - Yeah, right. - Okay, where was this camp? - It's almost over to Vero Beach. It's a million miles away from here. - Okay. - So we're coming back and we're passing the Circle F Dude Ranch, which of course makes me giggle just because I'm 12. And so, tank of like, we should totally drive back there and like, you know, make them take us on a tour. And I'm like, okay, so we drive back to the Circle F Dude Ranch after we've dropped the girls off. And we're, of course, there's no trespassing signs everywhere. Here we are. Do, do, do, do, do, you know, pullin' in. - Cut you 10 minutes later when she's getting plowed. (laughing) (laughing) - So we get in there, we talk to, you know, the, you know, ranch hand or whatever who takes us on a golf cart and shows us the entire place. It's, you know, enormous and it has horses and whatever. And we get all the information and we thank him very much. And I said, you know, I totally have to come and stay here. I said, I can guarantee you, if we ever did like, you know, a latte boy slash Huffington Dude Ranch experience, I said, you can guarantee that Taylor and I would both wear overalls. And I said, you know, I can totally see us horseback riding, or they have a rock climbing wall. You have to climb up the rock climbing wall, and then you can do the zip lying down. And I said, and he's like, he wouldn't wear overalls to do that. I'm like, no, I said I would have like, you know, a jumpsuit on. I was just making up outfits and he goes, but then why would you wear a round like campfire? And I said, well, you know, chaps, of course. And he's like, but with no pants. And I'm like, of course not. And he was just like, that would really kind of itch. And we were on this whole conversation for like a half an hour about why the pros and cons of worrying, you know, assless chaps, essentially, even though all chaps are assless. I don't know. It was fascinating. The pros and cons of assless chaps. That's the other titled episode. Yeah. Yeah. If you really think about it, chaps in general, you know, I own a pair of leather pants. You never wear leather pants unless they're still aligned and no chaps are lined. So there's that whole, you know, unfortunate potential to chafe, which would not be good, especially if you were, you know, pantless. That's what I'm saying. It's called Big Fatty. I bet he knows the answer to this. I'm sure. It's actually some like baby powder or something you put on. Well, yeah. I mean, baby powder would certainly help with the. Because I think I've seen that like in the leather aisles at like porn stores and stuff like the. They sell a certain kind of a, yeah, like a certain kind of like that. It's that gentle glide lotion that becomes powder and all this other weird stuff. Yeah. We know way too much or we don't wait too much about this topic for us to have a conversation about this. You do because I don't know anything about this, but we have listeners that are into the leather community. I'm sure they would be able to answer those questions for us. Call me. So what is, what is the question that you're opposing? Well, the question I'm posing is that if you do not have pants on underneath leather chaps, is there a way because I know that the chaps actually strap around your legs and I would think that there would be a certain degree of chafing. So is it a powder? Is it lotion or do you just, you know, you figure I'm strapped in leather, which is a little bit of heaven. So you, that's part of it. I mean, really, genuinely, that's a, that's a genuine question. How, how do you keep, is it a problem? If it's not a problem, how do you keep it from becoming a problem? Because how does it go the more you know, do, do, do, do? Yeah. I don't think, you know, David Schwimmer is going to be doing the promo for that. You never know. You really. He was the one that wore the leather pants in the episode of Friends, right? That's a hysterical episode. Yeah. Oh, I know something else. What? Not a leather question, but guess what I bought this week? What? Besides the PS3, I bought Britney Spears tickets. Oh my God. On purpose? On purpose because she's coming to Shreveport. Really? Really? Interesting. And you, what, where are your seats? Um, about 20 rows back. Um, stage level, there's some like below, you know, like front, like area, it's arena show. So they're like stage levels, like lower tier, 20 rows back. Wow. How much did you pay for those if you don't mind me asking? $125 a ticket, which were only like tier three level tickets because they have tickets that go up to $425 or standing room only in the center circle because she's got like, you know, it's a whole circus thing. For $125, I will come to Monroe and lip sync and do all the dances because that's pretty much the exact same show. Oh, well, in nude body suits with glitter. Okay. Oh, you have it here. I will pay $125 to see this. Yeah, right. Not a problem. You didn't buy it. You didn't buy a ticket to the show. I can buy a ticket right now. I can go right now and buy a ticket. Trust me. Not a problem. So you've seen me do the pussy cat doll thing for your children. That's, that's enough. That's one way to get a little sovington to giggle every single time is if he stands in the doorway and swings his head back to loosen up my buttons. Yeah, she's hysterical. Of course, he does this for the pugs too. But, you know. Oh, yeah. So, okay. When is the show? Uh, like September 19th or something? Oh, cool. It's a Saturday night in the Shreveport. And then it's Goony who, who told me about it because he'd gotten tickets with Monroe and his friends. So I got tickets like two rows back from where he's sitting. So it's kind of funny. Yeah, it was a complete spur of the moment kind of thing. Who are you taking? Who are you taking? Yeah, I got two. I have no idea. He's planning ahead. Yeah, possibly the guy went on a date with on Friday night. Uh-oh. But I'm not sure. So there was a date Friday night and then there was a date tonight but they were with different people. And the one tonight didn't make the cut for Brittany. He's just a, he's a Michael Sarah cut. He's eventually going to have all of these guys standing in a room and he's going to start passing out roses to them. It's Rodana Blow. God willing. Please let that be a video podcast. Please. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. Can Taylor and I be the judges? Seriously. That would be awesome. We'll totally fly out there. We will be the judges. Have them all lined up in a room with like, you know, white shirts and black pants on and we get to ask them a series of questions and we get to choose who gets to go into Brittany. I think that is brilliant. Yes. We are, yes. We're all about this. And then we can have the, we can wait. We can whittle it down at the final three and then we can have the listeners vote. This is brilliant. And the grand prizes are Brittany Spears tickets and syphilis. Hey, hey, hey. You bastard. Okay. Fine. Pretty Spears tickets and penicillin. A gift they can use. That's the gift they keep saying. Hey, speaking of lip syncing. Did you guys watch? So you think you can dance? Yeah. Yeah. Who was that bitch who sang that? Who lip synced? Borley. That song because I fast forwarded through that. Yeah. I don't watch it. Yeah. No, I don't watch any of that stuff anymore. I mean, everyone lip syncs when they come on. So you think you can dance? I mean, it's obvious, but oh my God. Was she bad? She was horrible. Well, they're supposed to have this big rule where you're not supposed to like, I kind of American, I know all the guest performers aren't allowed to lip sync. They're supposed to really sing. But then Paula Abdul gets on there and then she lip syncs. So I'm. Oh, yeah. You know, I, I never. She was singing. She was singing in her mind. In her mind. She was in a video with Keona Reeves. It was 1987 too. But that's really different. Well, I want to be, I want to be surprised when Paula performed. She was singing one of the tracks, like one of the background singer tracks. She was probably singing some portion of the song. Rush. It may have been every five, you know, 50 seconds or something. What? We've apparently lost half E. What are you giggling about? What? What? I can't breathe. Why are you dancing, Paula? I have to watch this video with Keona Reeves. I'm sorry. Rush, Rush, baby. Rush, Rush. Yeah, underneath my breath I kept going. I can't do it. You can cut all this out if you want. I kept going. Oh, hell no. No, no, no. I kept going. Rush. Rush, I'm sure. Taylor, we can go back and listen to him. She'll hear me doing it. And I don't know why. But it may be a little. I think I'm slap-happy. But it may be a little bit borrowed. Sorry, going on. No, no. Wait for you. You're all right. Yeah, right? I'm sorry. Okay. No, focus. Continue. Okay. Oh, Jesus Christ. Rodan, what else is going on with you? So tell me about your PS3. I've not set it up yet. Mine, for the first time today, the fan turned on in the middle of the game. That's because it was on fire because you played it all weekend. No, that's just it. I only played it for about an hour and a half today. And then all of a sudden, the PlayStation itself got very loud. So listeners, if you have a PlayStation 3, is that normal? Because now I'm afraid to turn it back on again. Oh. Wow. Maybe it just needed a rest. It just needed to cool off. I don't know. But it sounded like when your computer, like when the fan turns on on your computer, that's what it sounded like. Is that bad? Well, it may have just overheated because, you know, it may be fine. Is it someplace where it gets enough venting? Well, kind of. I mean, it's in one of the on one of the shelves for, you know, on my entertainment center. But it's not like where there's a back to it. I mean, it can go the heat and everything can go out the back of the-- Yeah. So I don't know. You probably need to give one of those sprayer things and blow all the any dust out of it. That's not a bad idea. So. But I'm playing infamous. Oh, how is that? Oh, my God. It's so good. It is such a good game. It's very much a-- You said it was very grown up. It's like a grown up superhero. And by grown up, I mean, they say shit and fucking it. But I mean, it's where it's-- That makes it a goal. I learned how to fly. I learned how to fly today, which was very cool. And by fly, I mean glide. So that's how far into the game I am. But it's a lot of fun. It's a beautiful game, too. Cool. So what games did you get for your PS3? I just have-- I got the Indiana Jones LEGO game. And I have the Guitar Hero Rock Band-- Yeah, Guitar Hero World Tour on its way. Cool. I love the Star Wars LEGO's game. It's very easy, and it's a lot of fun. Yeah. And that's why I've played that one so many times. It's like, but never really done anything in it. So I eventually want to do it, but I was thinking, you know, the Indiana Jones one may be kind of cool, too. So. And then I saw that the Batman one was pretty cheap, too. So I made it. Yeah, that one seems to be going dead in price. I think we're going to get that one next. Yeah, Indiana Jones is $19.99, too. All right. When you guys find games that you want to buy, do you go online and, like, look at them on YouTube and stuff to make sure they're what you think they're going to be? I have. I'll generally read reviews, yeah. Do you play on first? I definitely look at reviews, but I don't necessarily-- I mean, it's a game that I'm on the fence about. A bad review will deter me from buying it, but if it's a game that I really want, then I'll get it. And then usually, nine times out of ten, curse myself for actually buying it. With the exception of maybe, like, the Kingdom Come game. So the only ones that I really-- Like, there's another one coming out, and it's a done deal that I will get it. Kingdom Come. Isn't that the Disney one? Not Kingdom Come. Kingdom Hearts. You mean Kingdom Hearts? Sorry, Kingdom Hearts. Yeah. Well, it's getting to be that time, and we're probably going to do a little bit of a shorter show this week. So just because we have, you know-- Well, they had all their videos last week, so-- Yeah, and there's actually still another gade video to be posted, but I haven't posted anything. Really? Yes, it's of you. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, sorry. I forgot about them. So I may be posting that one. How soon they forget. I shall-- I may be posting that one around the time that I post this one. Cool. But I wanted to let you know that we have three entries in the t-shirt contest. Excellent. There are all people who have already posted reviews, however. So we don't have any new reviews. Not that long. So they are, however. It is a super fan, Jimmy. And Ken and Luke. Yay! Yay! So-- For both Kenny and Luke. Yes. Because Luke doesn't get all of our attention. Believe it or not. He thinks he does. He thinks he does, though. Well, yeah, I know. Luke's an attention whore. You can just tell him. Luke gets attention. Clearly. That sounded dirty and creepy, and it's not how I-- It did sound dirty. Luke gets attention when I feed him out of his cage. Luke gets attention when I allow him to have the ball gag out of his mouth for 15 minutes a day. Ah, from your mouth. All right. Anyway, please, everybody, if you haven't posted a review for us, it takes just a few minutes and all you have to do is just go to iTunes and just leave us a five-star review telling us how much you enjoy the show and yeah, that would be great. Cool. So, shall we wrap it up? I believe we shall. All right. As always, you can go to our blog, which is potismicopilot.com. You can email us at potismicopilot@gmail.com. Be our friends on Facebook, which is OK, so I love potismicopilot. You can also call our listener line at 206-202-5165. The voicemails will be coming back. I'm going to get some software from Melanie, or she's going to tell me what the name of the software is, where I'll be able to play the voicemails while we're recording, and you guys will be able to hear them through your headsets. Yay, Melanie! So, while I'm not saying open the floodgates and call us with voicemails, it's something that she and I, please, God don't, because we still have ones from, like, episode 96 that I said I was going to put in that we haven't done yet. But, Melanie and I were talking about this at Gay Days, and I just haven't gotten with her yet about the name of the software. So, look at her voicemails to come back. And did you, I sent you guys both the one that we got from Scotty in Australia? Yes. Well, I was in Ohio at the time, and I couldn't, I couldn't download it, so you'll have to reset it. OK, well, it's very cool that we have somebody that actually called us from, you know, Australia. From Down Under. Enough about your... (laughter) You don't want to hear any more about my shrimp on the bobby. (laughter) That's what they call it, my mind. About my dingo. (laughter) It's all curled up in orange. (laughter) Oh, God, again. When heat is applied to it, it goes from being great pink. (laughter) Oh, wow. And gets it, and gets a little hard, crusty thing on the head. (laughter) Oh. Good night, everybody. (laughter) You're going to be so punished, folks. (laughter) Who's his tailor? And Taffy. And we're Dan. Bye-bye, everybody. See you next week. Bye-bye. You might. (laughter) (music) You've been listening to Hot is My Co-Pilot with Taylor the Latte boy, Taffy Carlisle Hupington, and Ro Dan. Doesn't your life seem just a little bit brighter? See you next time. (music)