Pod Is My Copilot
PiMC: Episode 97 - He's Got The Joy (Behar) Down In His Heart, Or My Back Door Is At His Front Door
Yeah, Rodan's still a whore....and apparently he's a whore in Minneapolis. Our apologies to those of you with grey pubic hair. Another episode of "The Adolescent Mind Of The Adolescent Male," And Taylor looks at Taffy's boobies and talks about college hoops - WTF?
Be sure to download our video episode from earlier this week, and leave us an email with a question for episode 100...coming in just a few weeks!
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[music] Hose down the Orgy Shower, it's time for another sticky episode of Pod Is My Co-Pilot with Taylor the Latte Boy, Taffy Carlisle Huffington, and Rodan the Manhore. Take it away, kids! Hi, you're listening to episode 97, take two of Pod Is My Co-Pilot. With your host, Taffy Carlisle Huffington, Taylor the Latte Boy, and your whore, Rodan. Speaking of which, I want to thank Pat from Don't Quit Your Day job for the very special intro he recorded specifically for this week's show. Yes, I appreciate that. Oh, we know who you are, Rodan. You're the kind of Mexico. It comes up to us and asks us if the book we're reading is any good or we'd like to sit with you, Ed. So I want to thank you, Rodan. How is it that we have designing women references like every fucking episode? I don't know, it just shows how much of a bag you are. And I mean that during his way. And I just watched the fact that I had no idea that that song was one of the times. The first ones played the first 24 hours on MTV. The theme song. Well, that's not to designing women, that was to the Golden Girls. The theme song to the Golden Girls is one of the first songs played in the first 24 hours. Do you know what the very first song played? The video killed the radio star by the bubbles. Well, I knew that before, that's listed. They have them listed in order, but I knew that. Now, what is the second video ever played? I don't know. Who the hell cares? I would say the one by just too late for goodbyes. Richard Marks? No, no, no, no. It's not, it's not, it might be John Lennon or Julian Lennon, I don't know. Oh, no, that was like 84-85. No, I don't know. The second song ever played was, oh shit, which was it? Is it hit me with your best shot? I think it's hit me with your best shot by Pat Benatar. Pretty much it did. Anybody who had a video could be on MTV. Actually, I take that back. I think it's you better run. You better run. You better head. You better leave. I apologize to everyone whose ear drums are now bleeding. Dear. I can remember when they were talking to the DJs on some, or you know, VJs and over there called, and Alan Hunter, one of the original ones, said whenever he heard the very beginning of video killer radio starts, still gave him goosebumps. Because every time he heard that song, that's all he could think of was the first night. Because apparently MTV was an in Manhattan when it first started, they had to go across the bridge to like New Jersey to actually watch the first ever broadcast. Yeah. Which I think is kind of cool in a way. And he just said that, you know, and every, he hears that song now, it drives him crazy. Alan Hunter, can you imagine, what happened to Alan Hunter? He and all of the other, well, the ones that are still alive are all on serious radio. They all do the, they're, they're all the DJs for the 80s channel. That's cool. I was like, they're all on exhibit at the rock studio. They're the new body exhibit at Mosey. Nice. Nice. So this is going to be the whole episode I've determined. Wow. All three of us try to transition all at the same time. Now I'm going to have to keep all of that in. Well, actually, what I was getting ready to say is that we, yes, I get it. This is going to be the whole episode. We actually tried to record this on Sunday and I had a technical glitch. I got the, whereas those of you who have windows have the blue screen of death. Those of us with Max have what I call the beach ball of death. It's just the spinning rainbow ball and not the good kind. But yeah, we were about halfway through what was a pretty funny episode. They were. At some point, I don't remember what context it was, but I said the phrase FIFO fum. I smell the cum of an Englishman. I believe you did. I don't remember why. But again, this is going to be the whole episode apparently. So I'm sure that story will be told again. But yeah, so we apologize for the delay, but we will try and make it up to you this week. And we have stories about love long lost with Easter monies. And we have stories about tricks and not the serial. And we have all sorts of various stories. Horish stories. Horish stories. Yeah, so before we get into the stories right before we start the episode. Taylor's like, I'm going to throw this goddamn fucking computer out the window. Yeah, to his Mac, which he does nothing but brag about and talk about. And only like an about an hour after I spent $2,000 on an iMac. Oh my God, are you kidding? No. Congratulations. Well, you know, I don't have it yet. It's, you know, because I live in the Munro. It is being shipped to me. Oh, whoa, which one did you get? I got the middle of the road one. So I got the 2.9 gigahertz for gigs of RAM. Yeah, I don't know any of that. And she just wants to know how big your screen is. It's a big and pretty. It's 24 inches, just like yours, baby. Goddamn it. Nice. Everybody has a big one, but me. Nah, it's the way you went through life. The title of episode 97, apparently. So yeah, so I will be part of the Mac faithful soon. Or as you've just pointed out, the fact that the Mac unfaithful. Oh, no, no, no, we're still faithful. Don't worry. Yeah, no, we're still. It just seems as though I'm having user error. There was an update the other night. You get like an automatic update every once in a while. And I've been having lots of odd things happen with some of my programs. Those of our listeners who have Macs, if anybody else is having problems, let me know. Well, they just unexpectedly, it'll say, you know, your mail is unexpectedly closed. Yeah. So, so, and Taffy, you seem to be having the same thing. Yeah, I do. I have, I'm having it. And I get, for some reason, if I tell you, if I say this, everyone's going to think, oh, she's bullshit, but Taylor has actually seen it. I get so much email. It's almost to the point where I think it might be like actually a problem. How much email I get? No, no, I mean, like, no, no, it's not that. It's just, I think it might actually be a problem, meaning it is a, like, a glitch. Like a glitch in my computer, because I just get so much email. We could be sitting in her office and within 20 minutes, but, you know, you have the, the doc at the bottom of the screen. Yeah. That says how many emails you'll have. I've seen it go from three to 35 in about 20 minutes. Holy cow. It does it all the time. I constantly, I mean, and I, I personally get a lot of email, but I get a ton of spam. I put all the spam blockers on all that bullshit. It's just, it's ridiculous. And I think a lot of that just, you know, I hit delete, delete, delete, but I know it saves it somewhere. I know that that's got to be what's, what's causing part of my problem. But I get the same thing where every once in a while, I'll be doing something. What really pisses me off is I movie when I'll be working on a movie and all of a sudden it's gone and it says, I movie has unexpectedly shut down and it saves nothing. That is where I, when I get unfriendly. But so hopefully, maybe it's just, maybe it's just where we are. I doubt it, but, you know. The ninth circle of hell. Well, that is Pinellas County. Let's get real. Oh, have you, I mean, you are constantly on the road as am I. Does it seem like this week in particular, all of the blue hairs are out in the workforce? Yeah, traffic was really, really bad this week. Not yesterday, but what is today? Thursday, Tuesday, it seemed like I just did nothing but set of red lights. That was my entire day. And that sounds hot. Of course, not that we have traffic here. Do you have any traffic at all? Yeah. Yeah, five cars and you know, a rickshaw and a horse-drawn carriage. Racist! What are you talking about? There are no jabs here. Oh, I'm kidding. I'm flat, I kid. I'm flat as two. Pottas, my co-pirant.com. Pirate. That joke was funny three weeks ago and it's still funny now. Hi, Ace. Oh, we're so sorry. Not really. [laughter] No, I know. So what have you guys been up to besides me buying an iMac? Two words. March Madness. Really? I don't understand this. I, okay, I was with a group of people and I've always seen these bracket things. I remember when I was in college in the dorm. They actually, the one wall that you could always, like, every year everybody would always, you know, put a mural up on the one wall in each of the dorms to make each of the dorms, you know. Pretty. Call the dorms their own. And our dorm, Kennedy House at Eckerd, put up the March Madness bracket. They painted it over their mural in March and did the bracket one year. And I was always very confused by it. And then I thought, you know what? I'm just going to do it. And I had one of the girls at work talk me through it, which tell you right there. That's the butchiest thing you've ever said. Right. And I actually, it's a lot of fun to go online and look at the little brackets and see which ones I'm still in and which ones I'm not. Well, you know why he thinks it's fun because there's an ounce of competitiveness to it. Right. And I get to have my little worksheet and I get to have my orange highlighter and I have my pink highlighter. And if the team, I like wins, then I get to cross it through with the orange highlighter, but if they don't win, then it's pink. You have made March Madness game. Yes, yes he has. Oh, my Lord. I know. And as I was saying the other day, I'm just like, you know, so this is what's going on and all that sort of stuff. And I showed a coworker of mine who's very much into basketball. I showed her my picks and she was like, this is really good. You know, you really did some good picks. And they said, that's great. Now, ask me any rule about basketball. Just ask my question. I just sort of shrugged my shoulders. I went, I don't know. Nice. And then they all made fun of me because I picked Syracuse as the team to beat this year. And the reason why I picked Syracuse is because they're called the orange men and my favorite color is orange. Hey, I've heard stupid reasons for picking something now. Come on. I know. But so it's been fun. It's, you know, I am starting to have a lot more pink on my bracket sheet than orange, which upsets me. Oh, dear. How are you going to do? Wow. Actually, there were some games tonight. When I get done with you guys, I'm going to have to check. Check my, check my sheet. He's going to have to go and check the scores. You and, you and Lolly Pop would get along really good because as you know, she is a sports inner girl. Oh, she and I sat the other day and watched the world, like the world series of, not the world series. The world series of love. The world series of love. Simon. She walked in. I woke up. Actually, that's gross because she's 17. But, and a girl, but we were watching something where it was, you know, Puerto Rico versus Italy. Oh, God. Don't get her started. And it was all. And it was all baseball teams. So it was all these baseball players with their little clean-cutched, you know, haircuts and their little baseball caps and nobody spoke English and they all have all the colored skin. Yeah. Lolly Pop and I both sat there with boners the whole time. It was awesome. That's about right. I can see that. Yeah. Did you just say my daughter had a boner? Yes. I was like, wait a minute. I don't know if that's possible. Yeah, if it was now, if it was the littlest Huffington, yeah, absolutely. Yeah, well, the only difference is the littlest Huffington is a top. So that would be what the problem is. Oh, God. Oh, I'm not going to be able to see your children ever again in the same light. That's why Baba Lou says he yells at us for making fun of the littlest Huffington. Not realizing that, you know, she can take him. Speaking of the littlest Huffington, do you want to talk about what happened today at school? I can. I'll be happy to. Well, it actually happened yesterday, but the littlest Huffington has to write a poem over someone who has been an influence in her life that is not her parents. And she chose Taylor. And it's a very nice poem, which he doesn't want me to tell him anything about it because he's waiting until she reads it to him. But it's a very nice poem. And when she took it up for the teacher to review it, the teacher read it. And she said, now you're not going to put in this that he's gay, right? To which the little Huffington, you know, characterized her and said, would that be a problem? And she goes, well, you know, this is junior high. I really don't know if you should put that in or not. To which the little Huffington said again. So you're saying that that would be a problem. So she comes home last night and her and lollipop or, I mean, lollipop has lost her voice to the point where she really sounds like she's whispering and she was furious. She was like, I will go to school. I will yell at this teacher and all this other stuff. So then we started making up all these inappropriate, you know, lines to put into the. Because I said, well, you know, instead of saying he's gay, you could say something else. And what was bad is that the poem is great. It never mentions that he's gay. It never mentions anything that he has a partner. There's nothing that. So why that was even brought into the conversation? I have no idea. Because she's ignorant. Because she's ignorant. That's exactly what it is. And I felt bad, not for the little Stuffington, but I felt bad because an issue was made at all over it. So I just said, well, you know, I said, you know, you do whatever you want to do. And I said, well, why didn't you put anything about him being gay in the first place? And she goes, well, that kind of wasn't the point of the conversation. The point was, you know, this, this, this, this. And I said, well, okay, then don't add it. She goes, oh, no, no, now it's going to be put in there. Yeah, I've decided I'm coming over to your house tomorrow and helping a little, having some come up with words that rhyme with cocksucker. Well, we came up with, we've come up with several of them. One of them was, you know, he works with children, so he plays with toys. And also he gets to kiss lots of boys. We've come up with lots of different things you can put in there, most of which I'm not going to read. Oh, that makes you sound like a bit of a pedophile. I was going to say that's nice. Most of them we can't really put in there because they sounded ridiculous. But your mom's friends with Michael Jackson. So yeah, I was, I was a little pissed and she was a little pissed and, and of course, again, you know, Taylor says I sent them to a school that is a cult, which he's probably right. And I just keep telling him, you know, they were sent, they're, they're at that school for a reason because there's going to be one little boy or one little girl who's never ever. In need of a hag. Who doesn't know any different, essentially, who really doesn't know any different. It's more like, you know, Buffy the Vampire Slayer on the Hellmouth. Yeah, I have no idea what that means, but okay. That was talking about your vagina. It's, it's, it's really, it's, oh, can we not go on episode without discussing my vagina? Have we not discussed that? No. It's the unofficial mascot of the show. That's going to be on our T-shirts for gay days. My vagina. Oh, I love those T-shirts. Oh, do you? I have to never respond to your email yet, but I love them. Good. I'm glad. Glad to hear that. Love, love, love. Makes me happy. I'm, I don't know if I want a, I don't know if I want a double extra large shirt, though. I have the feeling you do want a double extra large because I think they're going to be really cheap shirts. Oh, okay. Yeah. I'm just, I'm just putting that in there. I'm taking your advice on the whole not wearing clothes are too big. Mm hmm. So, and I, and I get a lot more compliments. Then why would you not want a double X? You bitch, I'm waiting for him to say it. I don't worry. I need like a five X. So, I mean, you'll be with your double X half shirt. Right. Right. Because, you know, shirts, shirts at the place that I shop come in two X three X and Oh my God. It's coming at me. So yeah, trust me. I'm just giving you our time. By the way, not for those of you who haven't necessarily, you know, heard it yet on foul monkeys, Ricky told a very funny story of where he went to grab some clothes to get into the, to change into after he got into the shower. And he thought he had a pair of underwear and apparently he had a pillowcase. Oh no. You are joking. No, it was very funny, it made me laugh very, very hard. Oh, that is not right. That is so not right. Ricky. I love Ricky. I love you. Oh my lord. Okay. Well, I know that Rodan has a, Rodan has a story that he started to tell us and luckily he didn't get to all of the good parts yet when we had the technical issues. But I have to ask, did you get to see better off Ted yet? No. I didn't. Oh my god. This show was so you. Yeah, you're saying I'm Portia de Rossi. I am going to start calling you Veronica because that's Portia de Rossi's character's name in it. Aw. It's a very funny show. I'm starting to get back into watching TV and I'm trying some new shows and I'm, I'm definitely that the better off Ted was quirky enough and the guy's kind of cute. I don't know what else he's been in before, but he's, he was in the American version of coupling. He's been on a number of shows that just didn't make it. Okay. Well, then hopefully that means that, you know, he finally is going to get his due, but because he's, he's very cute. Actually Taffy, I think you would like this show too. Wow. As you know, I have, I've kind of sworn off shows that have writers, so I have. Well, I'd say one show that will make you swear off any show with writers. And that's trust me. The Eric McCormick's new show. Oh my god. I would never watch that. I've watched, I've been watching it, I don't think I taped this week, but I've been watching it, you know, kind of since it started and I don't know why I'm continuing to teavote because I am miserable through it for every episode. I don't get the appeal of Tom Cavanagh. Me either. I don't, he, I never understood why that show Ed had that cult following. And then he was always on scrubs and he was an asshole on scrubs. He's been on a couple of other shows and he always kind of plays the slacker. I'm just going to do just enough to get by it. I'm just going to give him a big hound dog eyes and I, fuck you, I don't, I don't understand that at all. So, and I found that Eric McCormick as Ty went on a Will and Grace is really not that good of an actor. No, he's not hit. He was best at a reactionary. Right. He played an asshole on Will and Grace very well. Yeah. But I, I just sort of, I don't know, but he's an asshole on the show too. Not really, but that's part of the problem is that there's just no connection. There's no reason for the show. It's like they haven't figured out what their purpose is, but it's a drama. It's not a comedy. It's a drama. Well, I don't think they're going to, because I think it got canceled because Eric McCormick just did another pilot. Did he really? Yeah. Well, it is pretty much on the, oh my God, it's horrible, horrible. And I gave up on a good baddie. Hey, did it. He gave it one ugly bet. Well, ugly bet. You'd only had one more. There's only a couple more episodes for the season. Oh, there's like four more episodes, but I haven't watched any so far this year. So I was like, kind of beyond. So far this year? Yeah. Then I think you're probably, yeah, I just, I just deleted them. I finally deleted them last night because they've been sitting on my Tivo this whole time. And I said, fuck this. And I was think, think, think, think. I told Babaloo the other night he's got like the last nine heroes saved for me. And I pretty much told him I said delete them. I'm never going to watch them. Yeah. I think broke his heart a little bit, but I said, I have no, I have no interest anymore. Do you want to be honest and here because I was the most adamant one of saying I was not going to watch heroes, but the last like three episodes have picked it up and turned it around for me. And the last episode, the most recent episode really was really, really good. Why hear him out there going here? Oh my God. It's so good. It's so good. But I just have no interest. He's masturbating that's why he's saying, I want to be Peter Petreli. I want to be the cheerleader. So Hayden Penny roll and then next week the last E.R. Is it next week? That's not over with yet. It's no. Well, they've been showing all of the what's your name? Neila left last week and I was good until they showed the fucking wall that they all go to at the end where they put all of their name badges from the locker and put it on some wall down in like the boiler room and they showed like clips of all of the old people that have been on that when she first started, no, no, I couldn't take it like a baby. She's also had a little bit of manicuring done to the eyebrows because when she first came on the show, she had a couple of caterpillars. Yeah. I do remember that she was not an attractive woman when she first started now and they definitely glammed her up and they showed Shane West at the end. So she went to she went to go live with Ray in the middle of nowhere. Is he a faggot in real life? Wow. Okay. Just because he's the first when you look at him, he just screams like I'm so religious. I can't you know, he's like Kirk Cameron or a flaming queer. One or the other. There's like no middle ground. I don't know. I used to love Kirk Cameron. We've we've made I've made no bones about that on the show and every once in a while, I've flipped through on the on the DVR and it'll say Kirk Cameron because he does this little related show and I watch it. He's the he is the leader of a cult because that yes he is. Yeah. Yeah. He's deranged. Yeah. Yeah. That's he's got that he's got that crazy. Look right. He's got the Joel Olsten. Crazy. He's got the Lord, Lord, Lord, Lord deep down in his heart joy joy joy joy joy joy joy joy. All right. Yeah. He's got joy. Be hard down in his. He's got joy. Okay. That's the other title of episode 97. Oh my goodness. Oh my God. All right. Okay. So let's get. Okay, do we want to start with the stories with Rodan story or do we want to start with Taffy's thing? Well, it's all going to end up being some sort of Taffy's thing Easter bunny porn something or I don't know why because I think we go from bunnies to tricks tricks to tricks silly rabbit tricks. Tricks are for kids. Now. Exactly. This is my Taffy Carlisle Huffington insight into the teenage boy mind. Let it number two. Actually, it's called the mind of the adolescent male with Taffy Carlisle Huffington. We need to get theme music for you. Yes, we do. I thought we did. No, we have theme music for you in the fact that you're, you know, a mattress back, but we don't have one for. Okay. Well, this, this letter is shorter than the last one, but it is irrelevant because of the P s, which I will read to you in a moment. Also a side note, the person who wrote me this letter today asks to be my friend on my space on Facebook. Yes. So that's my thing. All right. All right. So the day to on this one is December the 7th, 1984, which makes me 14. So that's eighth grade, ninth grade. Okay. Ready? Dear Taffy, I watched you at the basketball game. The whole time you cheered your boobs were going up and down and up and down. It was so hard. It was so hard to concentrate during pep band. We were right in the middle of twenty five or six to eight, is that the song by Chicago? No, it's twenty five or six to four. Okay. Well, he has twenty five or six to eight. That's, I thought it was twenty five or six to four. He had trouble concentrating. Well, okay. It's hand and eight makes a set of boots if you turn around and slide. There you go. I missed, I missed an entire phrase because I couldn't get my eyes off of them. They kept going up and down in a rythmatic pattern that was hypnotic. Really both at the same time. Ready? The whole time I was watching them, all I kept thinking about was whether or not, if my mouth was on them, I could feel your heartbeat in your nipple. This, when this intrigues me, I have to flip it over. Every time I look at you, I get hard. I don't know why. I think I have a problem. I'm sure I'll need to talk to my doctor about this. I just wanted you to know, by the way, are you still sitting with Peter tomorrow at lunch? Let me know if you're not. Signed. P.S. I really hope you can go to Easter Sunday service with me and my family. Oh, that's hot, that is hot. Thank you very much. Ladies and gentlemen, the mind of the analyst at Mayo with Kathy Carlisle, Huntington. Yeah. That's rich, really. So apparently... Does he want to be your eucharist? Apparently, my boobs have hypnotic powers. Body of Christ. Of course, as Taylor has unwillingly learned this week, I have no more boobs. Taylor, when bra shopping with me. Yeah. Yeah. I want to thank you for that. You're welcome. I want to thank you for opening the door at the figure fair and going out of these look as I'm sitting, thumbing through a real simple magazine from three years ago. I look up and go, "Ahh!" Well, first off, you need to understand that Victoria's Secret is lovely. It really is. But I am in a point now because of my weight loss. I went from a 48, almost a 48, triple D to now I am a 36, no, like a 36 D plus, really almost a D, but I have a little more than a D, except, you know, in order to get them into the cup, they have to be folded like origami to get in there because they're pretty much non-existent. She rolls them up like salami. Ew. So I wanted a little demi bra with a little push up and I am not a lace bra girl at all. I'm very, you know, no maintenance when it comes to bras. I like black, I like nude, I like sheer, I don't want any kind of a push up. And I better create a goddamn form of a torpedo. That's, no, no, no, but I want a nice little line of cleavage, it's just, you know, simple is better on those. I don't want to be able to see any lace or any bows or any bullshit like that. So I have to get a lace bra for something and I'm like, "Ah, fuck." So I go and we're sitting, having lunch at Chili's, it's a beautiful day, we're sitting outside. And I'm like, "Oh my God, there's a bra store." And when we're done here, we'll go in there. So he's like, "Okay." So I did give him the option of going to the pet store and not having to go in with me, but he opted to come in with me, which I was appreciative of. Because you said you were going into the pet store, which is about a three foot by three foot store. I would have been. You know, I can only look at dog shampoo for so long. So we go into the bra store, which of course, because again, we are four years old. The first bra we come around the corner and see is like a size, you know, triple J, which she could be used as a hammock. And we're just like, you know, giggling and snickering. This whole time this little woman, this God bless her, is trying to help me try to find a demi test, you know, push-up bra. So it was ridiculous, but he helped-- - Half of our people that are listening to this have no idea what your job is. - I know, it's like, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, bra, whoa, whoa, whoa, bra, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. - Oh please, that's how-- - Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, hammock. - That's how I feel when you guys start with your, you know, black canary action figures from 1987 or whatever's a job, anyway. - How very dare you. - Anyways, yeah, yeah, yeah, I bought a bra, Taylor Hell, never mind in the story. (laughing) - No, but the woman, when she opened the door, the woman was like, well, I don't think, I don't know, I don't know, and she's all just like, Taylor, look at this. I was just, you know, spun around, it was just like, oh my God. - Actually, he was very honest. He was like, I don't like that part, but I do like this part. And okay, and then he went, now I have to go gouge my eyes out. (laughing) - Yeah, as we were buying it, I said, we're going to Starbucks now so that you can buy me a cup of pumpkin hot coffee that I can throw in my own eyes. (laughing) - All right, so I'm done with my Easter buddy porn, now on to the real porn. - All right, I'm just, I'm still stuck in the hole. - P.S. - Okay, we don't need to hear that part of the story. - No, no, no. - You're stuck in the hole? - I'm still stuck in the hole, like, I get so, you know, I want to feel your heartbeat through your nipple. - Right, I'm so, I want to feel your heart, I wonder if I can feel your heartbeat through your nipple, but P.S., I hope you can still go to Easter Sunday service with me in my family. (laughing) - God. - That is truly the mind of an adolescent boy. I don't know. - Yes, yes, apparently it is. - What? - I know adolescent boys like that. - Mm. - Because they can see your heartbeat through those silver dollar nipples you have. - Hey, I don't have silver dollar nipples, bitch. (laughing) - Chushay! - Look, I'm not a true smart ass, good enough. - How I hate when you pomel me with witty, repante. (laughing) - All right, so let's hear about your latest trick. - All right, well, first we have to play the music. (upbeat music) - What was your name again? An intimate look into the love lives and buchwas of your favorite podcasters. Taylor the Latte boy, Taffy Carlisle, Huffington, and Rotan. - So, which of the stories will you be telling us? 'Cause you left us hanging, so to speak, with a couple of other ones. You told us the-- - Leslie Jordan. - Leslie Jordan, and then there was also 39, and there was something else that I don't remember. - There was a, going on 39, there's Travel Guy, and, I guess that's all I've documented so far. - We should keep a travel log. - I've started to, and so I've only documented three, and I think I have-- - Trust me, he gets a travel log now. (laughing) - But I'm bummed. - Oh, well, I'll just go with going on 39. 'Cause the other one's kinda short, and dick it. - Oh, wow. - It's over, quickly, and it was so good to me. So, the-- (laughing) All right, so the story is, we'll just call it, going on 39. So, after looking I broke up, still, I needed a bit of a release, right? So this is a couple of weeks old at this point. Needed a bit of release, it was down the dumps. It kind of feels better. - Look at how long after you broke up. By week, a day, a couple hours. - What time was it? (laughing) - Lucky and I broke up at like four o'clock, and this was like six. No, it was like, I started talking to this guy, probably about a week after Lucky and I broke up. So, and we were talking probably for a couple of weeks, kind of going back and forth. And, you know, he sounded pretty cool. You kind of had a little bit of playful banter, and I was thinking, this could be fun. You know, he didn't have his picture on the Adam for Adam, so I wasn't expecting a lot, you know, because, you know, I guess I'm brave enough to at least put a picture out there. So, you know, here's what his profile reads. So it says 39, 510, 165 pounds, 32 inch waist, average, like, build, mixed hair, some body hair, white, looking for friendship, one on one sex, three some group sex, miscellaneous fetishes, comma, relationship. (laughing) What, what'd you say? - I didn't see that. (laughing) - I just heard that little yes in the background. It just made me giggle, I'm sorry, so. - That's okay. And so, and that just shows, you know, kind of his stats again, which, getting close to the end is where it kind of makes sense. 39, 510, 165, 32 inch waist, go T, salt and pepper, ground eyes, 9.0, uncut, thick. Speaking of his cock. Masculid, we got that, thank you. - Yeah, just making sure that we weren't talking about his forearm or anything. - Same thing. (laughing) - And then, you know, for like likes, it's like karate music, movies and reading. - He has a nine inch dick. He's doing nothing else all day long. Let's get real. (laughing) - Well, okay, so, you know, there's always a little bit of lie in the profile. So, and normally the lie comes from the numbers, more than any of the other descriptions. - Yeah, I have a 32 inch waist, translates to I'm a dick. - Oh my God, it's coming at me. (laughing) - Yeah, right. So, I knew probably the 39, the 510, the 165, the 32 inch waist, or the 9.0, was probably off. Well, let me just say that, he sent me pics that validate that he was 39. So, I was leaning more towards, he's probably, you know, average size in the penis department. So, you know, just thinking, he showed him pics, he was 39, he had this little like Asian boy in the picture with him. Like, you know, his manservant, I was assuming. (laughing) So, and, 'cause, I was like-- - Mr. Head may take me to Shreveport. (laughing) - My meat, dark meat, or Asian. (laughing) - It was one of those pictures where it looked a little uncomfortable, like he's the daddy, and this is his, you know, 18 year old. I need to check ID every time I fuck him. - For, well, farewell my concubine. (laughing) - Yeah, exactly. (laughing) - Into the joy slot club. (laughing) - He's cute enough is what I'm thinking. - With nine, you get egg roll. (laughing) Sorry, I'm sorry, guys. - That's okay. So, I'm thinking he's cute enough for kind of one time thing, he's fun to talk to, talking to him for a couple of weeks. And so, I should've known there's probably something wrong when, one of the times we were talking about getting together, he said he couldn't drive over because, like, his head, his blinker was out and he wasn't sure if he was gonna be able to make it over here. So, I let that go, and a couple of weeks, you know, another week goes by, and I get over there, and I'm knocking on the door. So, I find his place, took me a little while to find his place, it's like two o'clock in the morning, 'cause I was horny and it was late and I needed some. And, and I needed to bottom, which is a more of a rare thing for me, but I had, you know, it's been a stressful, excuse me, it's been a stressful couple of weeks, you know, or it had been a stressful couple of weeks, you know, I already top someone, you know, or not. Anyways, I'm not talking about that story right now. But, so, you know, I was kind of ready for something different, I wanted the other white meat. - Why does it sound when you say I need to bottom, like, if you don't buy the light of the full moon that you'll lose all of your life essence, and you'll end up like Michelle Pfeiffer and Stardust, aging quickly. (laughing) - Okay, so, I'm not gonna door. He just opens the door, but I can't quite see him. So, he's like behind the door. - Do you need to bottom so bad that when he opens the door, you're like in downward facing dog position. (laughing) You're presenting. - Presenting. I knock on the door with my ass. (laughing) I'm at your back door. - I am the back door. - My back door is at your front door, so. - Oh my God. - That's the title for that. - That's the title. - My back door is at your front door. So, he was hiding behind the door? - Yeah, pretty much. - What is he, a leprechaun? (laughing) - So, signing behind the door, he's on the phone, so I can't quite see him yet. So, I can't quite see the whole validate the 39 thing, but the 51054, if we're lucky. - Oh, that's not good. - I mean, it was one of those like, I'm like to say, you're 8 foot tall. - So. (laughing) - But that could work your advantage. - And the 165 for the way, 'cause you know, I can kind of see his silhouette. He was maybe 130. - But he was a foot shorter than he said he was. - Yeah, I mean, he's like, six inches shorter, and he's like 35 pounds lighter, and thinking, okay. So, he sits down on the couch, he's talking on the phone, and I can't quite see him yet. And his computer's on. So, he's pretty much the only light in the room. It was like his computer light. So, he's talking about like, what he does for a living, apparently, is that he goes and harvests his people's eyes. - Oh, Jesus, what? - When they die, he's like a cornea. - Sure, when they die. You said that a dark room with a complete stranger who was hiding behind a door, then you know that he harvests eyes. - He's the crow from the crow. - You were in Jeepers Creepers, right? (laughing) - That should be this guy's name. So, he sits down and I see his face in the light of the computer. Well, okay, so remember he said that he was 39. So, he sat down, he gets off the phone. I get a good look at him. It's two o'clock in the morning, but still, I'm awake enough to see that 39 is not 39. - How does he? - He sits, oh, so I asked, so how old are you? You know, just trying to like probe and see if you'd tell me the truth now. He's like, oh, I just turned 40. Again, that whole like southern bell voice. (laughing) So, I'm thinking, 40 going on 54, 55, easily, easily. 'Cause, you know, his whole goatee is gray and doing the wrong people age at all different rates and other plenty of 30 year old guys in town that are graying or mostly gray. - Well, that's the crystal math. (laughing) - So, he points over to a picture that's sitting on his mantle. So, I look back and see it's a guy who looks disturbingly similar to me. You know, brown hair, kind of messy, goatee, not thin. And, (laughing) So, look at him, he's like, yeah, that's my son. - Oh, no, no, no, no, no. - And I'm like, your son? Hasn't like, you're his father or you're his daddy? It's like, no, my son, I was married. And I looked at him and he's easily my age. In the picture, whoever knows how long that old that picture is, the guy. So, I turn around and as I'm turning back to look at him, he's like on me, 'cause he's little and apparently he has. - With the butcher knife. (laughing) You sure have for the eyes. (laughing) - He's on me like kissing me and stuff. And I'm just like, oh, it's one o'clock. It's like two o'clock in the morning, I'm fine. Just go with it, just go with it. And so, you know, I'm like, my pants are off before, I mean, I'm like, I can even like recognize that. I'm putting my keys down. (laughing) - Look, the little old guys got my, you know, pants on around my ankles going down on me. And I'm just like, oh, okay, oh, oh, okay. This isn't so bad. So I'm just like, okay. And so the next thing. - Well, because he didn't have his teeth in. (laughing) - And so, I'm relaxing. And you know, it's starting to relax. I'm starting to be okay with this. I'm thinking, maybe old guys know what they're doing. So I'm thinking, you know, people make fun of me all the time for only liking the younger guys. - Okay. - So I'm thinking, this may be an opportunity to prove the world wrong, to prove that Rodan is not an ageist bastard. - Wrong. - And then I get confronted with a five foot four inch man with a nine and a half inch penis, in my face. - Now, was that never accurate? - Oh, yes. (laughing) Oh my God, yes. And suddenly the older generation was looking up. (laughing) - They are the greatest generation. Tom Rokos said it best. (laughing) - So next thing I know, he's like in my face with a hard nine and a half inch penis. Thick, like thick, like, you know. - And uncut, you did say uncut. - And uncut, you know. So it's looking at me like a big snake. He's like nudging it towards my mouth. Like, and I'm just like, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm. And I'm just kind of like, no, no. - And then, and that's when I notice the, so you know, I think you mentioned, Taylor, that you had like a white hair in your goatee. - Yeah, oh God. (laughing) - And like, you had a white hair and maybe your pubes. - I had never had a white hair in my pubes. I had never had a white hair in my pubes. Now, very dare you. - Well, I wish you would have just shaved because there is like three and four inch long gray hairs. Oh, where his pubic area should be. But while he's like, you know, trying to force feed me his penis. I'm noticing all these gray hairs. I'm thinking, I can't do this, I'm gonna gag, I'm gonna gag, I'm gonna gag, I'm gonna gag. And next thing I know, he like, somehow manages to like, put his hand down by my jaw and open me up just enough to start getting inside. And the, you know, like, uh, uh, uh, uh. - He had a family as the anaconda that could unhinge his jaw. (laughing) - So I'm just like, I don't know what to do. You know, it's like the first time I've like, one of the few tricks I've had, you know, in 10 years and all of a sudden, things are going very weird. - Now things are going weird. (laughing) - Well, I was fine before when I was getting sucked off. It was fine, it was good to me. I didn't care what he looked like. Oh, so he's like, trying to make me, you know, force feed his dick and I'm just like, I start to like, pretend gag. Well, I wasn't really much pretending 'cause the gray hair was right there in my face. He kind of backs off of that and he just finishes sucking me off. And then, you know, I'm thinking, oh my God, you know, would I leave anything here? And it was, it was, so he finishes me off and he pretty much puts his penis back in my face. Like I'm going to finish him off and I don't. And he just like jerks off and it shoots over my shoulder. - Oh my God, Lord. (laughing) - I love how that's the part that offends her. (laughing) - This might be the classiest story we have ever told on this story. (laughing) - So yeah, so you know, here you come. - My apologies to those of you eating breakfast. (laughing) I'm listening to this. - So, you know, and I'm just, I'm like looking for my clothes, my pants as quickly as possible and I have no idea where you threw them and I'm walking around his apartment like naked. (laughing) While he's just kind of sitting on his couch, like lighting up a cigarette, you know, legs crossed now naked with big, flappy, huge penis and his gray with his gray mound. It was one of those stories like, so, you know, I got in the car and it's just one of those like oh my God, what have I done? It was just, it was, it was like, I, I, I, this is not the life I want to live in. What am I, what the hell am I doing to myself? And it was, it was not a good experience. - Well, okay, so now after this, did you learn something saying to yourself, this is not the life I want to live or did you have another trick the night, next night? - Well, not the next night. (laughing) - I have a question. - Yes. - Now what point do you think Lola turned off the podcast? (laughing) - About 10 minutes ago, I would mention the guest. - Oh. (laughing) Yeah. - Lord. - Wow. - So I've had a number of other experiences since this point and they've been on the whole, well, except for one. One other story, on the whole, they've been much, much better. I bet they've been on the whole. (laughing) Well, you'll have to save those for another night. - Well, yeah, no, yeah. Obviously we're doing them out once a week or once every couple of weeks and I'll have things to talk about for months. - Oh, wow. - Wow. - I'm counting the minutes 'til our next episode. (laughing) - Well, okay. - So are you gonna release our little video? - I did release it. I released it earlier today. - Oh, well, I haven't been to the blog because I was busy until I came on the computer to do the show, so I will have to go check it out. - Yeah, we released a short, it's less than two minutes long video of Taffy and Babaloo and The Voice of Lollipop at Epcot a couple of weeks ago. - Oh. - Doing a little food experiment. And that's all we're gonna say about it. - You didn't release it on to the blog, though. - No, I didn't post about it on the blog, but I will. We do have a couple of housekeeping things that we need to talk about, though. We have decided that for, 'cause episode 100's coming up, and we did finally get one person saying what their favorite episodes were. - Good. - But nobody else really said anything about their favorite moments. - Well, maybe they have none. - I was gonna say we should take that, however, we need to to get through the night. - They're all their favorites. - Right, so what we're gonna do is we're actually going to go back to something that we talked about doing way, way back in the beginning of the episode. We had lots of questions, we asked for questions early on, and actually started to record an episode one night, and then had surprise, surprise technical glitches. This is way back two years ago. I still have all the questions, so we are going to actually answer those questions that are still applicable today. - Perfect. - Yeah, but we don't have enough. We wanna get a bunch more questions. So if you have any question you would like to ask us, anything at all, I'm not saying we'll answer it, but we will try. I should say we won't answer it truthfully, if it's uncomfortable for us, but we'll try and make the answers funny at the very least. - If not honest, at least funny. - Yes, yes, honest and/or funny. You can please email us at potasmycopilot@gmail.com, and I will be compiling emails for the next few weeks, and then we tape episode 100 and, God, it's only two or three weeks away, we will have a question episode. We'll intersperse questions throughout our 100th episode extravaganza. - Fantastic. - Yeah, I also have an announcement to make, and it's with a heavy heart. A couple of weeks ago on the blog, I talked about a bet that I had with a certain listener, that listener being crystal, and the bet was to see who could go longer without having soda. - Mm-hmm. - And much like Jeff Conaway on Celebrity Rehab. (laughing) - But honestly, in your defense, it was almost unwittingly he did it. - I did, and it's one of these that, okay, it's only been a sip, but we were, the day that we were at Epcot, the day that the video from the latest podcast, we were in, what is it called, the Cool Club or Club Cool or something? - It's like the Chill Center, yeah. - Right, where you can try all different sodas from all over the world, and we were in there just because Lollipop and Bob Blue wanted to go in there, we were standing around, and with that even thinking, I took a sip from one of the types of soda, and didn't even think anything of it, until four days later, I was with Taffy, and we were talking about being in there, and all of a sudden, I was like, "Oh my God, I took this episode of." So, Crystal gets a $25 iTunes gift card. - Yep. - Aww. - Yeah, so she wins, I have not had this episode of Sense. - And he did have remorse because when he was watching it, he realized he was like, "Oh my God!" I said, "Why'd he drink soda?" He felt bad, he really did. - But there's even video of me with the soda cup in my hand. - Yes. - So, that's really when I put two and two together. So, Crystal, if you can email me with your address, I will be getting you an iTunes gift card, and getting it to you in the mail. - Aww. - Yeah. - So, real quick, along those lines, I kinda gave up on Bear 411, because I pretty much surrendered it, surrendered it to Lucky, you know, because he's-- - He got it in the divorce. - Yeah, he got it in the divorce. And so, I went to check my mail the other day, and one of our listeners had kind of found me out on Bear 411, his name's Kelly. Very cute, lives in Portland, said hi to me, just wanna say hi back, hi. So, and yeah, if you're ever in town, if you ever make it down to Monroe, come by, say hi. - Have you learned something from JeepersCreeper? - Hey, listen, speaking of one of our listeners, we went to take a minute and tell Shannon who is on doing the backpacking throughout the world, who still listens to our show to be careful and be safe, and for those of you who check out our blog, go and check out her blog, which is a little adrift. She is backpacking around the world, and she listens to Pause My Co-Pilot to help pass the time on all her little, you know, on all her little trains and planes and automobiles, so check out her. - An elephant, she's ridden elephants and zip lines. - And zip lines, yes. - That was a big joke on the last episode, was me riding down a zip line, coming in like a space shuttle from re-entry into the plane. - Where all the trees are in the shape of Taylor. Boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, all the way down. All right, we better wrap this up, we're at 52 minutes. - Yeah, and well, it won't be 52 by the time I edit out the ums and urs and little pauses. All right, well, as always, you can go to our blog, which is potasmycopilot.com. You can email us at potasmycopilot@gmail.com, and don't forget to send us your questions for episode 100. Be our friend on MySpace, which is MySpace.com/potasmycopilot. Call our listener line at 206-202-5165, and also be sure to join our Facebook group. Okay, so I love potasmycopilot. - Perfect. - I guess that's it. - Excellent. - Yeah. - Excellent, well, guys, thank you very much for listening, and I wanna thank, what are your names? Taffy and Roach. (laughs) - Fuck you. - For coming back and helping out by taping another episode this week. I know it was kind of a pain in the ass given all of our schedules. - For you, anything. - Yeah, yes, for you. - For my screwdriver. - Don't forget to send the screw up a couple weeks ago. - Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. All right, well, everybody, have a good week. We are actually probably gonna be taping another episode maybe this weekend, so don't be surprised if you have two episodes this week. - Woo-hoo, woo-hoo. - Woo-hoo. - So everybody, see you later on. Be sure to download our video podcast. I'm trying to get all this stuff in before I-- This is Taylor. - And Taffy. - And Rodan. - Have a good week. - Taylor, help. - Yes, you need help. All right, have a good week, everybody. Bye-bye. - Bye. - Bye. - Y'all look crazy. (upbeat music) - You've been listening to "Codd Is My Co-Pilot" with Taylor the Latte boy, Taffy Carlisle Huffington, and Rodan. Doesn't your life seem just a little bit brighter? See you next time. 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