Pod Is My Copilot
PiMC: Episode 85 - 'Tis The Season!, or Cream Filled Black Bottoms
Podcaster down!!!!Podcaster down!!!! And I didn't hear Rodan's joke at 38:00, or I would have told him to blow me.
PLEASE be sure to download the cheesecake video episode, vPiMC: Episode 36!!!
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[MUSIC] [MUSIC] You're listening to episode 85 of Pod is My Co-Pilot with your hosts, Taylor the Latte Boy. [NON-ENGLISH SPEECH] And Rodin, who is very, that's me, obviously, who is very happy and thankful that he can swallow today. Were you spitting yesterday? [LAUGHTER] Oh, yeah, I was. To the words lazy Susan matter in the next story you're going to be telling us. It's a lazy Susan of euphemism for something I don't understand. No, a lazy Susan is when somebody in some of the, and we go right in within the first minute I'm teaching you something else. A lazy Susan is in some of the porn, and by porn I mean Rodin's 26th year where somebody is on kind of like a platform. On a wheel and the wheel sort of gets spun around and everybody is, there's a multitude of people around them. So it's like spin the bottle, but spin the whore? Yeah. Okay. And again, within the first minute somebody's calling Rodin a whore. Hey, so for the record my story has nothing to do with sex. Okay. Wait, wait, wait. Hold on, and once the whore is spun when it lands on someone does that mean they have to have sex with them? Well, it's not a game. I think they're all having sex. Yeah. Pretty much it's where one person has their way with them and then they sort of get past the next person. And usually at least in the porn that Rodin and I like usually there's a multitude of, yeah, fuck her. Yeah, yeah. So basically it's just another Saturday night for Rodin. Hey, maybe back in my twenties, but my thirties I'm a much kinder gentler Rodin. He's a lady. So have you been feeling under the weather so to speak? Oh, so I don't think, did you listen to the episode last week? I did. Pat was fabulous by the way. Thank you very much to Pat. And I want to thank Pat. Pat was the first one to send me a birthday present. Oh, I got my first official birthday present and it was from Pat like a day after we recorded the show. When I was on, and Rodin, we will get to your story, I promise. I know we keep interrupting you talking about porn and Pat, which in some circles, hey, I talked when I was on with Don't Cut Your Day job about a show called Torchwood, which Rodin is probably familiar with. Yeah. I know you have no idea what it is. He sent me the first two seasons of Torchwood. Oh my gosh. Aww. Yeah, so I am. Then Pat, I extend a request. My birthday is in June. Find me Parker Lewis can't lose. The greatest television show of all time that no one has ever heard of that is never going to be on DVD. Find Parker Lewis can't lose. Challenge extended. Good Lord. So, well that's cool. So I'm very excited. I haven't watched them yet, but I am very, very excited because the main guy is kind of hot. Captain Jack, he's more than kind of hot and he's a gay. I know. He enjoys getting it up the butt. That he does. Don't we all though really occasionally? Just saying. Okay. Just saying. Speaking of communicable diseases, Rodin. Okay, so remember how I was talking about I really wanted to have moho pork and that none of the grocery stores around here had the little moho sauce? I'm suddenly very intrigued by this story, but yes. Well, you know, so four weeks ago I had this craving, I bought a crock pot which I didn't have yet because I lost the other one in the divorce. And I couldn't find moho sauce anywhere, so I was going to buy it online and then I went to the grocery store and they had like this little itty bitty little bottle. Like 16 ounces or eight, it was eight ounces little bottle, right? So I bought a bunch of the little bottles. Gotta, um, you know, it's like the little drink size that you get in that airline. I was going to say, why am I imagining your kitchen with huge wooden crates with the label, like, you know, the paper labels plastered on the side of them and, you know, wood shavings everywhere. And you pulling out all these little tiny bottles of moho pork. And so I get a roast and I'm all excited about cooking this moho pork for Lucky. And, you know, I get everything ready. I do it. He comes over at seven o'clock. We sit down. I put, you know, the rice and I put the pork on it and I put all the little stuff over it. Sit down. He starts like digging in and he is in love with it. It's like orgasmic. He is so excited. I have two bites. The third bite. I can't swallow. Any more at all. My throat seizes up. So I try to take a drink of water and it just gurgles in my throat. It's like, oh my God. Not good. And so I run to the sink. Everything that's in my throat comes out. I just kind of spit it out and I can't swallow. I can't drink stuff and it goes down my throat. But it doesn't like exit the esophagus into my stomach. And... Were you allergic? My stomach was locked up. Yeah. And I'm not allergic to pork. I'm allergic to chicken and fish. And I know that that was a pork roast. Not a chicken roast. And it wasn't a fish fillet. I don't know what happened but I couldn't swallow all night. That's not good. No, I was especially not for lucky. Can I ask you a question? Yeah. Why don't you just make your own mojo sauce? That was way too complicated for me. It's like garlic, oregano, salt, pepper, orange juice and oil. Hush. Don't be with your complicated recipes. That whopping four item list was just too much for you to take. I understand that. I didn't realize you could just make it yourself. I thought little people decided to put it together. Well, we do have Babaloo here. Maybe that's what makes it easier for me. Taylor, get on that. Have Babaloo pickles of mojo sauce. It does not make the mojo sauce. Nor see a little Cuban video. Taylor's a smiling man for a reason. If I have those reactions normally, I haven't had a bad allergic reaction to chicken or fish in 10, 15 years. Yeah, I know for a fact you've had plenty of helpings of chicken in the last 10 years. You haven't had an allergic reaction once. Hey, those were not. We're talking about actual chicken, not cock. Not ones with feathers and I don't mean boas. Oh, God. I was stuck like that all night and this morning until about 10 o'clock. Did you call a doctor or anything? I was going to say, did it ever occur to you to maybe go to an emergency room or an outpatient clinic? I could still breathe and I went on the little on Lucky's iPhone as we laid in bed. I was searching for, you know, little WebMD solutions type thing. And it said that unless I couldn't breathe, that there's nothing that they would be able to do. I'm glad to hear that you and Lucky have mended your broken fences, so to speak. Yes, thanks. So, yeah. Now here's the sexual part of all this. God, I was holding while he finished his dinner. He loved it. You know, while I'm like, you know, every time I try. Well, you're driving in the sink. He's sitting there looking at you and eating his mojo pork. God, with him. It was good. I went to the bathroom because I didn't want him to see me, you know, keeled over trying to make myself vomit, which I could not. Well, you again, you are a lady, so. I never could make myself vomit. So, when I figured something out, nothing. It was like stuck. It was like, you know, my, I hope this isn't the sexual part of this story. No, no, no, no. I hope no one's eating. Yeah, right. Sorry. But, the sexual part is, so to help calm things out because I was really embarrassed by this whole thing. So, on top of not being able to swallow or eat the delicious dinner I just made, you know, throwing it in the crockpot for 12 hours. That was hard. I couldn't eat that. So, to help like, to fray Lucky from underst-- you know, like, so I wasn't so embarrassed. I kept filling his glass because I was like, uh, we had some mojito mix. So, I kept filling his glass full of mojito mix, which made him quickly drunk. So, if I did need to go to the hospital, we would have had to call the ambulance because I was way too drunk to drive after like the second mojito. And I'm just like, forced, forced feeding him alcohol so that I'm not embarrassed, which was probably a bad idea in hindsight. Okay, the last show I was on, you talked about pretty much trying to rape Lucky, and now you're pining him with alcohol. Lucky, if you listen to the show, perhaps. Welcome to your pot. It's my co-pilot, The To Catch A Predator, as an episode. Well, I am... Rodanza Cougar. Meow. So, I beow. So, that got him all horny. So, meanwhile, I can't like, you know, I can't even swallow, like, my own spittle. Like, I have to keep going and, like, regurgitating my own spit every few minutes. So, just let him come on your ass. Well, he gets all horny. And so, next thing I know, I am, he is on all fours, and I'm going at it. Oh, my God! It was wonderful. It was awesome. It was the best part about all Thanksgiving weekend. So... Well, it is a festive time of the year. Except for that whole, you know, not being able to breathe. You know, not being able to swallow. You know, Rodanza Trooper. He deserves a Purple Heart. I think you got a purple something else. Oh, it was so good. God bless you. Yeah. Well, good. One of our listeners sent me a message on Facebook. Concerned that we were concerned that the show wasn't going to be crass enough anymore. I hope that we've filled any needs that you have right now because... Yes, I actually had a listener tell me that they were kind of disappointed on the last show. I was on that you said you were going to try not to be gross because they didn't want us to edit ourselves. Because that's one of the reasons why they liked the show was because we talked just like we talked in real life. Well, Lucy... Well, what I said to her was that I didn't want to just be gross for a gross sake. I think for it to be a scotch clever. Right. Sometimes I think we do that. Sometimes not so much. A scotch clever. Saying a scotch doesn't make us clever. You know, we've already talked about, let's see, Lazy Susan's autoerotic asphyxiation. Doggy style. And coming on one's ass all within the first ten minutes. Yeah, all within the first, you know, twelve minutes of the show. I could have died. It was serious. And yet you were still fucking someone. I know. He's a trooper. That Rodan, he's a giver. He is. Good job. To the season. To the season. So, Taylor, what have you been up to? Well, I was going to ask you the same question. I figured you would want to talk about what's going on with you and how Ohio was and if anything new is going on with you. Okay. Well, Ohio was delicious. It was cold and it was beautiful. We took fabulous pictures. I posted a couple of them. It snowed the day we landed. We got to actually drive through a little snow storm, which was fun. And it was beautiful. They were at the town we were in, which apparently is very close to one of our listeners. They were having like their downtown Christmas fair and there was horse John Cara drives and all the little boutiques when you'd walk in. They were all making, you know, cookies. Everything smelled delicious and the local dance academy was putting on their little nutcracker show. And it was very, very down home and it was lots of fun. And we had a good time. We went up to, you know, state parks and walked around and we saw ducks and all things fabulousness. We saw lots of ducks. Did you scare any ducks? We scared lots of ducks because what would happen is the lake was frozen over and they would fly up in the nest. They would come back to land. They would slide across the ice and land in the water, which we thought was neat. I know that's not what I meant. Yes, I know. So then the day, we were leaving on Tuesday to come home. So on Sunday we were supposed to have a big family dinner with all of Tank's extended family. They were all coming over and before dinner we decided to take a hike. His family owns a large amount of land and they have like a creek that runs, I'd say probably, I don't know, 200 yards back from the house, there's a big creek that leads up into the woods area. So we take the girls back down to the creek and there's like this beautiful little rock bed and there's water still running underneath it and all the leaves are covered in snow. Like the leaves where they curl, they have snow in them. And there's this one big tree that has fallen from one side of the creek over to the other side of the creek. Allah, think dirty dancing, the scene where Johnny and Baby are dancing across the trees over the creek. Fast forward to Tank going across it and the girls applauding at his skill and dexterity and bullshit. And then I being who I am thought, well if he can go across it, I can go across it. To which Tank says, girls stay right there to not come across the tree, you know. I'm doing this without a net, this whole thing. To which I stand up on the tree that has fallen and I make it halfway across and fall. Oh my god, really? Yeah, I fell about five and a half feet into the creek bed. And proceeded to break my leg and my ankle and my Achilles in it. Oh my gosh. Oh yeah, no, no, no. So I'm laying in the creek bed and it's all on video. Oh my gosh. Oh yeah, well that's not true actually. Me walking across it and the initial fall is on video because as soon as Tank saw me falling, he dropped the camera to run down and get me. So yes, we do have a majority of it on video. But then I tell you what, I guess I have lost some weight, still not a little girl. Tank picked me up like a baby and carried me up the side of the frozen wet leaf embankment to where at this point the girls had gotten his cousin, you know, to bring the truck over. So they had to put me in the back of the truck and then drive me back to his grandparent's house where they then took me to the emergency room. And he said, literally, I get into the emergency room. The doctor comes in and he looks me and goes, what the hell were you thinking? I said, I realized that. And he goes, how did you do this? I said, well, I fell off a tree. He goes, were you deer hunting? I said, do I look like the type of person that went deer hunting? I kept thinking, oh my God, I am in Sarah Palin neighborhood, so I have to, you know, behave. But so yeah, so I'm actually having surgery tomorrow. You haven't had the surgery yet? No, I have to have the surgery tomorrow because they had to cast me from mid thigh down. My leg was completely straight and then I had to fly home the next day. I was seeing travel. Oh my God. Thank God that the plane was not full because I had to take up the whole row because I couldn't take up my leg. It was, it was a comedy of terror. It was, it was really, it was ridiculous. However, I will say no matter how much the leg was hurting me, Taylor and I still went shopping Friday. Okay. I, okay, now no, I had no clue about this whole part, this whole time. And it told me you guys went shopping at like 3.30 in the fucking morning. What the hell? I will tell you that we went shopping. We, Kohl's opened at 4 and then Target opened at 6. No, Target opened, yeah, Target opened at 6. Right. And so we, in between there we went to IHOP and it was, it was actually fine. We both got some things, but I think Taylor was a nervous wreck. Well, because I, she was in a wheelchair right now. Right. So I was responsible. We didn't, we decided on Thursday that on Thanksgiving that we weren't going to do the going down to Ellington and do the Owletmalls at midnight because, you know, let's not be. Ridiculous. So I go and pick her up at, you know, quarter to four in the morning and we go to the Kohl's, which is right by our house. We get there about five after four and watch all of the, you know, the moms and their Christmas sweaters go like literally running to the front door. You know, everybody screaming and grabbing carts and all that ridiculousness. And I was just, my big concern was that I was going to do something where I was going to swing the wheelchair around, chair around. She was going to hit a pole or hit a stand or something and hit the foot. And then out of nowhere, tank would magically appear and punch me in the nose. But then we decided that we really didn't like it because, you know, a very big part of Taylor and I's communication is we can have whole conversations with just looking at each other about, you know, oh my God, look over there at this outfit. What was she thinking? And because I was three feet lower than him. And we were both facing the same, you know, she was in front of me. There was no, we couldn't, we couldn't make eye contact. So it'd be one of these where I would occasionally see one eye over her shoulder looking back at me and I would just say, just keep looking forward, just keep looking forward. We did have a, we did have a couple of moments where we were laughing fits. The best part of it was when we were at Starbucks because then we were both sitting down and we were sitting together and that was the embarrassment of riches because that was all of the women and men who had been shopping. We were there about eight, 30 quarter to nine. Right. You know, this was towards the tail end of our shopping and there was all of these people that were coming in that were haggard looking and just making no sense. And Tappy heard a conversation that I'll let her tell that was just ridiculous. And that was where we would both be looking and just sort of do that. And I'm sorry, but when did it become appropriate for adult women to wear their pajama pants, a robe, house slippers in the middle of goals, in the middle of Target, in the middle of Starbucks. When is this appropriate? When are you too much of a rush? You have got to be kidding me. Oh, no, no, no, no. More than one, several people. To the point of where other people around us were talking about, we would be going to get an island Target and a woman would go, that woman looks like an asshole wearing her pajamas and walking around. When are you in that big of a rush that you can wear your, you know, your fleece cow pajama bottoms and, you know, a pink Floyd circa 1987 t-shirt and your gray old, you know, robe and a pair of house slippers. When are you in that much of a hurry knowing you're going to Target that you're not going to be able to, I don't know, throw in a pair of jeans and a sweatshirt. It's not like a, you know what, this would be really funny if we all got dressed up like this and did it as a fun thing. So we're all, we've all got hair, you know, what our makeup got. No, this is literally, you know, hello, Johnny. Would you like to come in for some breakfast? I mean that kind of hard haggard looking, you know, well, that's what we get for shopping in Pinellas Park for Black Friday. Well, yeah, because I'm here in the Louisiana and they all look like fucking beauty queens all walking around at four o'clock in the morning. I'm sure. Yeah, I made hair poofed out. We were in Target and we were watching Mousey McMasters and sit with her friend and who, someone who I assumed was her mother. I'm literally in Starbucks. Starbucks, yeah. She looked kind of like the girl from Juneau, but not as socially acceptable. Not that the girl from Juneau was socially acceptable, but you kind of get that point. And she's talking to this person again, who I feel is her mother. I'm not sure. And she goes, you know, and apparently she had went to her boyfriend, girlfriend. I assumed it was her boyfriend's house for Thanksgiving and his mother clearly had told her she wasn't going to, they were going to sleep in the same bed that that just wasn't allowed. It wasn't even an option. And she looked like she was probably 16 or 17, maybe, maybe 18 if I was pushing it. And she goes, you know, and I told her we're not going to do anything. I'm on my period. If you don't believe me, you can check. Oh. And I just kind of did the whole. What the hell? I mean, and I'm kind of giving Taylor the look of, you need to come sit down, right? Yeah, I was getting, I was getting the drinks. So I, she's got her eyes, biggest saucers. And she's just like, take a mental picture of these three sitting over his table. We'll be discussing their conversation as soon as they get up. I'm like, you need to, I said, you need to take the middle picture of the one in the blue long sleeve shirt, because when I tell you the picture, a story, you're not going to understand because a picture will not go with the story, but just get a middle picture of her. I think that a bit like, call her bluff. Exactly. I can't believe the only thing that kept going through my mind when she said that was the scene in showgirls with no meme alone where he sticks his hand down her pants to make sure she's on her period. And I just kept. Exactly. So that was, that was my Thanksgiving trip. So yes, surgery tomorrow, I'll be out of the hospital by Tuesday, hopefully. And yeah. Yeah, you got a party to take care of party to take care of on Saturday. That's right. I told her multiple times if you need for us to reschedule this or to cancel it. I am totally okay with that. That's not what happened. He took my crutch and threatened to hit me over the head and he said, you better not be canceling this party. Actually, I held the, the shoulder pad up to her throat and held her up against the wall so that her little legs were kicking. That could be hot in a certain scenario, but never mind. Okay. So after I had my little surgery, I couldn't even get out of bed for a couple of days. Like I was fine until I had the surgery. Okay. You're a pussy. Well, and I was much more out of shape than Taffy is when I had my incident. So, but my gosh. Now, how long was your recovery? It was six weeks. Well, they've already, the doctor is not happy with me at all. And he's punishing me. And he has pretty much told me that not only am I not allowed to drive for at least the first three weeks, but he's not going to put me in a weighted cast nor is he going to put me in a waterproof cast. Yeah. No, I had the same, same issues. They wouldn't do anything with me because it's your ankle. Okay. Explain to the listeners into Rodin why the doctor is quote unquote punishing you. There is a small chance, perhaps, that I might not have listened to everything he told me to do. Everything? Like keep your leg elevated. Oh God, no. Well, that's the first one. I haven't kept my leg elevated except for today because it caught up with me today. And it's been hurting me. But no, I didn't keep my leg elevated and I didn't stay off of it. And I didn't stay in bed and I didn't pack it with ice. And I didn't do any of the things I was supposed to. And I haven't been taking my pain medicine and my anti-inflammatory medicine. And I haven't been doing anything I'm supposed to and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. Because apparently no one seems to realize that it's December and there's things that have to be done. Well, Tapi, coming from firsthand, they delayed my surgery a week because I pulled the same shit. Yeah. Well, that's pretty much why I didn't have it on Friday. That's why I'm having it Monday. Yeah. They said that we will not operate until the swelling has gone down. You see us in a week. I was like, you got to fucking kidding me. Well, I will tell you that I had the leg cast from the mid thigh down. And they did cut it down to just below my knee because I bitched so much. And then on Friday when they told me, I had to go back Friday for them to x-ray again to see if the swelling was coming down. And of course, when they x-ray did, they said actually it's worse than it was two days ago. Proof that you have not been doing what you're supposed to and we hate you. So I pretty much told them. I said, look, I've agreed to have the surgery. They personally hate you. Right. I said, I've agreed to have the surgery, which I don't want to have, and I'm not happy about it. So pretty much, however I fuck it up in the next two days, you're going to be able to fix the surgery, right? And he's looking at me doing the whole. Okay. And I said, good. Then can you please cut the cast where I can pop it off that way I can get a shower? Because I can't take this sponge bath and washing my hair in the sink, especially if you're going to give me surgery. Just let me get a shower. Just cut the front of the cast off. That's all I'm asking you. And he's like, absolutely not. I said, if you cut the front of the cast off, it'll still, I have to keep my ankle at a 90 degree angle. I said, it'll still keep the ankle at a 90 degree angle, but that way I can at least pry it off the bottom of my foot. And he goes, do you know how much that's going to hurt you? He's like, if you have to pry the bottom of this cast off of your foot. He said, you don't understand. Then you're going to have to put it back on. I said, you know what? I don't care. And he's like, you know what? I think you're just stupid enough that you'll do it. So Dan, if they didn't take a saw and cut the front half of my cast off, I was so excited I couldn't stand it. So when I got home, Tank was pissed. Yeah. Tank's not the only one that's pissed about that. Yeah. But they cut it. I took a shower tonight. I took a shower the night they did it too. And so I'm, but tomorrow I go back to, you know, how big is your scar? I have two four inch scars. That's, that's, yeah. And they are. I've tried everything I possibly can. I moisturize them, I put the scar strips on them. That makes me get going. Shut up. Shut up. Shut up. And at this point, I just gave up and I just wear my little, you know, the little short gym socks. When I go to the gym, I don't care if people, you know, point, oh my God. Oh, no, no, no. I will wear my scar as a badge of honor. There's no question about it. The scar doesn't bother me a bit. It'll be like a scene, it'll be like a scene from Crash. At one point I can guarantee you the term fuck my scar, it won't come out of my mouth at some point. God. Now, have they been able to figure out if it's just the standard ankle fracture or is it the whole like fuck up, like three fracture thing? Well, it's, if you're going to break it, you might as well go big or go home. So what I decided to do is I broke both of them. Only you would say something like that. Well. Only you. I know. Both sides. Did you break it underneath too? Yes. And that's the problem is that when I broke that part, the shard that broke off is what split the Achilles tendon. And then I broke the, is it the tibia or the, yeah, the tibia and then I broke the ankle. So you managed to do, you managed to like one up me big time. And, and I managed to break my toe also. So I, so I broke the toe, the ankle, the leg and the Achilles tendon. What were you doing? Walk across the log and high heels? No, I was in, I was in the little tuffing tins like Ugg boots. Well. Okay. I know. Yeah. Which is equally as ridiculous. I agree. She did it fashionably. Exactly. Well, Ugg boots. Well, you deserve that now. Yeah. You are aware that dirty dancing is in fact a movie. And that chances are when they filmed a said scene of them dancing on the tree, there was probably some sort of padding underneath should one of them actually fall that they would not be hurt. Well, actually, I, I really wasn't trying to do the dance. Um, but that's the, that's the scene that we were there. Exactly. I wanted to do the lift and no one would, you know, no one was that brave now. I, it was, it was, but you know what? And when I was sitting at the emergency room, the doctor was, he was a cutie and he was just like, you know, I bet you know, a 2020 hindsight and I said, no, actually, I got to be honest with you, better to have done it and broken my leg than to have wondered if I could have done it and not have tried. That would have drove me crazy. So I, I tried, I made it halfway. Yes. I fell, but that doesn't mean that, yes, Tank just said she'll be back on it when she, when she heals. I just have to do it without him knowing about it, which would be fine. Um, but you know, that's just- To get you on a therapist's couch, I know, I know. Fucking God. Well, and here's the thing is that, okay, I've got pretty high pain threshold. You must have and not a control pain threshold. I do and that's, and that's, I'm the same as lollipop and I know that and that's one of the problems, unfortunately, is because, because of that, though, that's why the x-ray was worse on Friday because he's like, you know, in three days, it's, it's, no, what, you know, what the hell have you been doing? And that's what snoozy looked at. He goes, what have you been doing? He's like, I know you haven't been doing what I told you to. And that's why he's like, you know, I'm not going to, I'm not going to give you the weight weighted cast because you're just going to walk and you're not supposed to and you're not allowed to drive. You're not allowed to get wet and all this other stuff and, and of course I had lollipop had to drive me there. So she was listening to it all. It was, are you let, did you break the left or the right? The left. Okay. So you will be able to drive much faster than I was able to accept the right. Yes. I will be able to drive in probably three weeks to a month. Yeah. That, and that's good. You'll be able to get it. It's good. Hey. That's bad. I was six weeks. I know. I know. But it was six weeks before I could even touch a car. You need to understand what Taylor is going to go through. Oh, yeah. I know. Believe me. I know. Yeah. Why? I miss you. No, you don't. You show me to drive you someplace. That's not the point. Come get me. But you're on that chair, Taffy. You're on that chair. Hey, has he given you the speech about how if you don't start doing what he tells you, you're not going to be able to walk because there is no ankle replacement surgery? Actually, that's not true. So there is an ankle replacement surgery. Is it legal in the US? They can replace the ball joint of an ankle. That's all they can do. You have to understand that every possible conceivable question you can come up with. I asked them to the point where Lollipop just has her hands and her head shaking her head, going, just shut up until you're going to have the surgery, Mommy. This is ridiculous because I was just like, well, what if I do and what if I don't do and what if this, this is this and that honestly, this is done as an outpatient surgery and they're keeping me overnight because he said, I know if I don't keep you overnight, he's like, you're not going to listen and pretty much tank was like, yeah, she can't come home. Okay. Do you understand though, when you got all of these people? I know. I do. I understand this. I really do. I'm not doing it to be an egotistical narcissistic maniac. I really do understand it. It's absolutely something I, today, I really think the tank drugged me. I think that there's an element of, there was an element of, of drugging today. I was to the point where I did you end up on a lazy Susan, God willing, it was, it was one of those things where it was, I was so miserable and he just is like, you know, you need a hobby. I still need a hobby. I just need to be able to get my shit done. It's not, it's not a matter of a hobby. I just want to be able to do this stuff. I do every day and this is ridiculous and we're talking this is day five. So God help me. Yeah. It is, it is like, cause, cause you get to the point where you can't even like really go to the bathroom very easily. No. It is, it is miserable. It takes three apparatuses to get me into a bathroom. I'm in a wheelchair that I have to get out of the wheelchair. Then I have a walker, which thank God he got me the walker because the crutches were going to go through the fucking window. Yeah. So the walker. So I go, I go from the wheelchair to the walker and then I have to, you have to kind of ease yourself down on the toilet because you can't bend the knee and then you, and if you don't, you just kind of fall onto it. It's ridiculous. I told him I said everything that's supposed to take two seconds has taken me 15 minutes. This is ridiculous. So it's just very frustrating and, and you know, being someone who is a quasi type A personality, it's just not something I shut up. Thanks, get going. I said quasi. Um, but you know, it's just something that I don't respond well to. You're a type A plus personality. I know. Come on. I know. I'm a 4.0. So I don't know. But that's fine. Big brain academy is saving my life, I think is. Yeah. Yeah. You need that and you'll be doing most of your shopping on Amazon.com. .com. Aww. I'm so sorry. Yeah. That's alright. That's okay. Again, I'm not, it's, it's, it's fine. If this is a challenge, I've been presented with a challenge. I have to find a way to figure out how to deal with a challenge. I appreciate this. I did it to myself. So I have to just look at it like that. It's definitely, we're all going to be the ones who are challenged. Yeah. You got it. Well, I know. I'm kind of regretting that decision because then I forgot that if he doesn't come to the hospital, then that leaves Tank playing with my mother. God help him. And your mother needs her gay. Yeah. Exactly. Tank's like, I am taking a book. She's like going to sit there and talk to me. I'm like, okay. Good luck with that. Aww. I know. You're just lucky that most places in Florida are only one story. Yeah. Yeah. That there aren't large flights of stairs that eventually I can't push you down. No, they kept me four days in the hospital. Oh, God. Shut up. Shut up. Don't shut up. Yeah. Yeah. Don't even put that on the world. Yeah. Anyways. Okay. Taylor, what did you do this? There we go. Oh my God. Pretty much all of my time has been spent with Taffy. Yeah. Well, I was gone. You got back on Tuesday. We taped. That's true. We taped Monday night. Yeah. And Tuesday, you got back. And then Wednesday, I didn't see you Wednesday. Did I see you Wednesday? No, I didn't see you Wednesday. But Thursday, Friday, Saturday, and not today, it's maybe did a lot of running around. But, uh, it's been a good time with you. Last night, Baba Lu and Taylor came over and we watched the single worst movie ever that actually made us all laugh out loud. What? Tropic Thunder. Tropic Thunder. Oh, it is bad. It is bad. And not bad in the way that they meant it to be bad. It's just bad. Yeah. The funniest part of the whole entire movie is the very beginning when they do the trailers. Yes. Yes. Sorry. And Robert Downey Jr. He is amazing. Oh, yeah. Robert Downey Jr. is very funny. I was talking to Drum about it today and I pretty much said the movie itself is horrible. But the scenes that are funny when somebody says something that it's funny, it's very funny. It's very funny, exactly. Yeah. But for the most part, it's you're sort of like waiting like five or ten minutes between the big laugh out loud moments. Kind of like our show. We are the Tropic Thunder of the podcasting community. Got a moment. Speaking of podcasting community, I missed a phone call today. I missed two. One from Michael. And one from Kevin. Oh. I know. So I wasn't quite sure about that. I tried to call them back and then I got no love. They got no love. Then I got no love. They were at Target. Well. I know that. So I went to Michael's photo blog. I went to Kevin's photo blog. Well, I went to Kevin and Michael's photo blog. I even left them in the comments about their holiday table. Okay. Taffy, yours is bigger. Taylor, get over it. Taylor, get over what? I'll show you yours and I'll show me my hair. That wasn't a competition. That was a competition. Yes, it was. No, it wasn't. No, trust me. There would have been more snark in my voice had that been a competitive thing. We're not competitive about everything. That was more a, oh my God, we have something else in common. We were both at somebody's whip. Fuck you, Rodan. You don't know what you're talking about. Jesus Christ. I happened to defend myself. I did say something today though that made Babaloo almost pee his pants. What? And it was more talking to myself than it was for him to hear. What do you say? You were a top? Okay. I couldn't find my keys. Okay. Okay. So that right there paints the picture because as Kevin and Michael are aware of with the Mac and Cheese incident, I tend to go from zero to ballistic in about three seconds if I can't find something. What? So of course, I decide I'm going to get passive aggressive with myself and go, I can't find my keys. I can't find my keys anywhere. I just love not being able to find things. It's like playing hide and go seek with my psychosis. God. All of a sudden a fall is coming from the other room. Oh my lord. Babaloo is like, that's the funniest thing you've ever said. Meanwhile, the vein on the side of my head is popping out because I can't find my fucking keys. So then I beat Babaloo. That's not good. There's not something good came out of it. That's all the matters. It was a win-win. Exactly. Poor Babaloo. Yeah. Yeah, we went over to the Calhoun residents tonight for Drum Wildly Calhoun's birthday is today. So happy birthday, Drum. Happy birthday, Drum. Happy birthday, Drum. Happy birthday. We went over tonight for cake and Chinese food. And merriment. And merriment. I got to spend some time with his family. His sister-in-law just had a baby who's very, very cute. And we were standing out in front of the cars talking as we were leaving, and Drum was very funny. I said something ridiculous, shocking, I know. And he sort of looked at Babaloo and he goes, "Are you really ready for this?" Pointing at me. Oh. So, and Babaloo just left you. I know, yeah, absolutely. So it was funny. You're a mess. Yeah. I know. But no. Thanksgiving was nice. So we didn't really talk about our Thanksgiving's. No. I was going to say it, I guess we're not going to. No. My mother is retarded. And every year, there's somebody. There's some big, you know, quad eyes. She's handicapable. She is handicapable. She's mentally handicapable. I don't know. But, you know, you walk in the house, the very first thing she does is look at Taylor and go, "I swear to God, I'm going to kill my mother, my grandmother." And there's always some big trauma with the oven. Last year, it was, you know, the ham wasn't done. And now, this year, it was the turkey where I don't know. She's just a mess. And dinner was good, dinner was fine. And my in-laws mother-in-law, I guess, no. My cousin's husband's mother, I guess I would kind of be like my cousin's mother-in-law, I don't know, makes these little cakes that Taylor used to have when he was little. And so I made sure that she brought them, and that made him happy. So he-- Black bottoms. Black bottoms. And that's not my not. Again, I do racist. I love a good black bottom. Chocolate love. I think that's what they were saying at the bar the other night. Yeah. No, they're these little tiny chocolate mini cupcakes that have cream cheese frosting sort of inside them. Like, they're almost like cream filled, but they're cream filled. They're cream filled black bottoms. The title of episode 85. And they are so-- and she didn't bring them last year. And I think-- He was sad. These are even-- He shamed her. Yes. He did it with that. Yes. Anytime she'd say anything to me. So are you still working at that place? Yes, I am. It's a miserable job. It'd be much better if I had black bottoms tonight. And then last night, Tank made a dark chocolate gira deli brownies. Yeah. They were-- while we watched the horrible movie. Yes. They were fabulous. They were wonderful. Oh, Lord. And-- That's all. Yeah. It was-- it was-- it was-- it's been a crazy-- I'm ready to go back to work, though. The tomorrow will be day five that I'm off. Yeah. And I'm ready to get-- because last week, there wasn't-- schools weren't in, so I didn't get a whole lot of school visits. Obviously, they didn't get any school visits because, you know, if they were closed. Right. But I need to-- I feel the need to help people. You need to do something. Yes. You can help me. Yeah. God knows I need to-- I feel the need to help people and not want to rip out my own hair. Fuck you. I'd rather spend time with grieving children and helping Teddy Carl out. You'd rather watch people die. I'd rather not hear the words, can you please bring me toilet paper coming from totototototo? I don't believe that has ever happened. Thank you. Yes. Yes. OK. But, however, we were at Target after having gone to IHOP and having, you know, eaten like-- And we ate at the IHOP where the infamous, who do I have to fuck to get a pancake around here, came out of my mouth when you and I were in-- when you and I were in our 20s. Yeah. And I was drunk at three in the morning. And it was the first and only time I've ever actually seen Rodan do a spit take. Everywhere. Everywhere. Because it came out of nowhere where I just-- anyway, well, about an hour later, we are fighting the wave skies. Yeah, I was bad. You know, women. And all of a sudden, we both had that-- noise, you know, we sort of looked at each other like, oh my god. Oh. What are we going to do? Because I-- you know, I'm not going to leave her in the middle of the electronics department with a cart sitting in a wheelchair. [LAUGHTER] Come back. With a sign that pretty much says, "Free to a good home, take to our back." You're just going to put me in a box underneath the staircase. [LAUGHTER] So, we managed to, you know-- Make it till we got home giggling. Bear down and do what we had to do to get through, but it was a little touch and go there for a while. Those buttocks have never seen that much work. No. Yeah. Well, I wouldn't necessarily say that. But, you know, it was-- it was-- it was bad. But it was fun. I'm glad to help you in any way that I can. Well, thank you. With the exception of the whole, can you please bring in toilet paper? [LAUGHTER] So, a pap smear is out of the question. [LAUGHTER] I was going to say, bring in the toilet paper. That's the easy part. It's wiping the asses. That's better. [LAUGHTER] Guarantee you if that's not an option. [LAUGHTER] That's-- it's good that you are aware of that. I am completely aware of that. Do not worry. Friendship has limits. Friendship has its limits. Yes. I understand that whole sharing a brain thing you and I talk about all the time. Yes. [LAUGHTER] Oh, God, Lord. Are you prepared-- are you prepared to share a stroke when I have to actually do that? [LAUGHTER] I think the most embarrassing medical thing I've ever had to ask someone to help me with was after my appendectomy was I had to have sprout-- had to help me with the suppository. Oh, geez. Yes. And, you know, as much as, you know, like heaven, sex, together, whatever, just needing a supposit-- that there's a whole different element to that and the embarrassment of it. Especially when you consider that sprout probably had an erection through the entire thing. [LAUGHTER] Ew. I will tell you that I had to medically assist someone in the bathroom. One of our group of friends, Mountain Woman, she came down-- the reason she is called Mountain Woman is because she came down a mountain on a four-wheeler and ended up going ass overhead down it. And we ended up having to take her to the emergency room and she had to pee in a cup and couldn't. And I had to hold the cup. Oh. Yes. Therefore making it so that two of our friends have peed on-- Yes. --to the garlic. --on various parts of my person, yes. [LAUGHTER] You. She has, in one of her cupboards, if you open it up, there is-- it looks like a calendar and it's all of our pictures. And John Goodman and the Mountain Woman both have a big yellow circle with a line through it stamped over their faces. [LAUGHTER] I think John Goodman has a brown one too, but that's entirely a different story. [LAUGHTER] Taffy's hoping to collect the entire thing. [LAUGHTER] Yeah, right. And then I'm going to make them into commemorative dishes. [LAUGHTER] Please see episode 69 for details. Thank you. [LAUGHTER] Yes. All right, kittens, we'll listen. We are coming up on 50 sort of quasi-50 minutes, so-- Yeah. And I want to try and edit this out. We didn't get to voicemails again this week. I'm really sorry. We will get to voicemails soon, I promise. I'm sure many of our listeners are going to want to be sending their well wishes and thoughts to Ms. Taffy Carlisle Huffington. Actually, by the time this comes out, she'll have had her surgery. [LAUGHTER] But I'll still take your well wishes. Yeah, what I was going to say is, let me finish. [LAUGHTER] I think so. Your mouth shut while they're in there doing surgery. [LAUGHTER] Anyway, if you would like, please send an email to Taffy if you'd like to send us some what was just to podismicopilot@gmail.com, and I will be sure to forward every single one of them on to her. Or baked goods. Baked goods. Always say get well soon. Yes. Oh, speaking of baked goods, I have done the Cheesecake Podcast. I'm going to release it when I release this episode, so look for it. If you download us through iTunes, or if you go to the websites, they'll probably be next to one another, or very close to one another, and make sure you watch it. It's a really good episode. Oh, you said Cheesecake. I thought you said Beefcake. Yeah, no, that's-- Hey! [LAUGHTER] Hey! Yeah. As always, you can go to our blog, which is podismicopilot.com. As I said before, you can email us at podismicopilot@gmail.com. Leave us a voice mail at 206-202-5165, and I swear we will get to it eventually. Well, we do listen to them, just because we don't post them. Yes, we do listen to every single one, and I forward them on to Taffy and Rodan, and we are going to be listening to them really, really soon. I just knew that the leg thing was going to be talked about a lot tonight, so I wanted to try and keep it relatively short. Email us. I talked about email. MySpace. MySpace.com/podismicopilot, and you can join our Facebook group, OK, so I love podismicopilot. It doesn't, everyone. Yes. Next week, we'll have stories, I'm sure, about the birthday party and the surgery, and hopefully Rodan will be swallowing lots. Something weird about that. Thanks. All right, so everybody, have a good week. This is Taylor. And Taffy. And Rodan. Have a good week, everybody. Bye-bye. Bye-bye. [MUSIC PLAYING] Why, who did I leave or cry? Maybe I'd better go. Always try home. Maybe I'd better go. [MUSIC PLAYING]