Pod Is My Copilot
PiMC: Episode 84 - Pat Is My Copilot, or Those Must Be Fashionable...
Just in time for your holiday travels, We have Pat Gaik from Don't Quit Your Day Job tonight, and we talk about Thanksgiving, Gay Porn, Carol Burnett, and Teen Bereavement Retreats - yeah, that's about right.....
Check out Pat and the rest of the crew at Don't Quit Your Day Job at dqydjpodcast.blogspot.com.
blog: podismycopilot.com, listener line: 206-202-5165, myspace: www.myspace.com/podismycopilot, email: podismycopilot@gmail.com, facebook: Ok, So I Love Pod Is My Copilot.
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We are thankful this holiday season for all of our listeners! Be safe in your journeys!!!
(upbeat music) ♪ Happy Thanksgiving, happy Thanksgiving, ♪ ♪ Happy Thanksgiving Day ♪ ♪ Happy Thanksgiving, happy Thanksgiving, ♪ ♪ Happy Thanksgiving Day ♪ ♪ Today it is Thanksgiving ♪ ♪ We'll have a first reveal ♪ ♪ Let's hear the food boys made of wax ♪ ♪ But this here it's for real ♪ ♪ The stuffing's made of Cheetos ♪ ♪ Let's eat it with our feet ♪ ♪ We'll shoot it from the Zucas ♪ ♪ Let's stop it with our feet ♪ - Hi, this is Taylor the Latte boy, and welcome to episode 84 of Hot is my co-pilot. The Taffy Free episode. - Yay, I mean, aww. - Aww. - Wah, wah, wah. Tonight I am joined by Rodan. - Hello. - And as promised, we have a special guest co-host tonight. Those of you who listen to me on Don't Quit Your Day job this week, episode 50, may have gotten the sense that one of those members of that show is gonna be a guest co-host. And we have the very wonderful Pat from Don't Quit Your Day job as our special guest co-host. Say hello, Pat. - Hi, everybody. - Yay. - Mr. Pat is here. - I'm here. - Pat won the first annual pot is my co-pilot, gets spit roasted by two podcasters awards. (laughing) - Oh, wait a minute. - Wow. - I think I'm getting the vapors. (laughing) - How you doing, Pat? - I'm good, how are you guys? - I'm doing okay. - Can I just say, can I just say, what an absolute thrill and an honor it is and how humbling and privileged I feel to be on here, trying to fill Taffy's slot. (laughing) - Well, many men have tried. - As they bigger men than you had tried and failed. So if you feel as though you're up to the challenge, we salute you. - Hell, I'm going to need a couple of women. (laughing) - Did you just say a couple of women too? - We need a couple of women. - We don't talk about that. - Oh, yeah. - Does that mean I can't talk about John Goodman since you guys have a moratorium on it or is-- - You can ask any question you want about John Goodman. - You don't have to answer, but I can answer. - Oh, please, we'll come up with some sort of answer. Don't worry. - And they may or may not be truthful. - No, chances are they're not truthful, but you know, it's funny and that's all that matters. So are we ready for the big Thanksgiving? - Sure. - Yeah. - Okay, so work is already like half empty. I mean like the whole tower, like half the, it's like the whole goddamn town celebrates for the whole week. No wonder Louisiana is the third fattest state. (laughing) - Well, you know, that's kind of what people do. A lot of people are taking holidays. I know that Babaloo was talking about how his office was just about empty today. And people are still dying left and right, so I'll be working through most of the week. (laughing) - Death doesn't take a holiday. - Oh, have a turkey leg, grandpa. No, don't joke. (laughing) - Would you like a little extra morphine with your applesauce? (laughing) - Yes, please. (laughing) - That's not the trip to vain. (laughing) Speaking of holiday cooking, I just attempted to create a video podcast. - Okay. - Yeah, the Babaloo decided that he wanted to make his mom's special pumpkin pie recipe. - Aw. - So I decided that, you know what, this sounds like a good opportunity for me to do a video podcast. - And you were naked with just an apron on, right? - No, I didn't make it. He made it. He was not naked. He was not naked. - Okay. - I'll watch it. - He was pantless. - Okay. - But, you know, completely wearing a shirt. - That's always good for kitchen hygiene. - Yeah. (laughing) Is this a hair in my pumpkin pie? - No, it's a garnish. (laughing) It's a garnish. - That's how you dimpled the crusts. - Ugh. - Ugh. - Ugh. - I will not be releasing. We called this pretty much a dress rehearsal tonight. It was a little crazy. I will probably be taking some of the outtakes and releasing those as an episode down the line. - I will pay $100 to see this. - It was, it was pretty funny. Some of the things, he's not a baker and he admits this multiple times while he's trying to make the pumpkin pie because it's some variation on the back of the Liddy's pumpkin pie container and it's just very funny. So look for that soon but it's not going to happen before Thanksgiving. - So it's not some sort of exotic Cuban pumpkin pie? - Well, no, except that he does in the beginning of the episode that we'll never see the light of a day. Talk to his mom in Cuban on the phone while I'm videotaping. - Wow. - It was, and says, now Taffy, they have a big argument in their family about the word V. All right, let me see. V-A-N-I-L-L-A. The opposite of chocolate is. - Vanilla. - Okay, well in their family, they have this whole vanilla vanilla thing where they, she apparently says it's a vanilla where the rest of her family says vanilla and I don't know. Apparently the proper way to say it is a venea. - Venea. - Yeah, venea. Every time, he said, he must have said venea. You know, I was, I went from six to midnight and every time he said it. - That's awesome. - Hey, speaking of Cubans, do you know how hard it is to get the mojo marinade stuff here? - Really? - Yeah, none of the stores have it. None, not even the little Latino grocery store. - And what is the little Latino grocery store called? - I can't remember the name of something in Spanish. - Really? I would have thought it was called, you know, Lough Duppenstein or something. - Yeah. - I probably just cursed at all of our German listeners and I had no idea what I just said. - Yeah, no, I actually had to order some. Like from online, I would have totally sent you some. - I know, I should have just called you 'cause I wanted to make mojo pork for Lucky. So, and I was really craving it. - It's awesome, it's awesome. - Do we have a, speaking of Lucky, do we have another installment of the saga of Rodin and Lucky? - Yeah, if we want to get there now, if you want. - But whenever I just was, you know, I'm just wondering. It's up to Taylor, Taylor is the director. - No, go ahead, let's just get it over. I mean, I mean, sure, what's going on? - Aww, well, I'm kidding. - Kind of. - After the podcast last week, things were a little awkward to say the least. And like, I knew there was some- - I can't imagine why. - Well, but you didn't release the episode 'til what Wednesday, right? - Tuesday or Wednesday, yeah. - Yeah, so he listened to it pretty much, things are kind of getting a little back to normal until the episode is released. And then, pretty much, I get this random text message that says, "So you think what I was telling you is bullshit?" And that was it. I was like, "Oh, no." And I don't remember quite saying it like that, but I haven't listened to the episode yet. - Oh, I totally remember using it like that. I was thinking to myself, this is not going to go well. I know for a fact he listens to the show, but again, you wanted to talk about it, so I left it in. - Yeah, so by Thursday night, we were completely broken up. 100% miserable, like, up until two o'clock in the morning conversation, it was just a miserable back and forth, and he was just very afraid and just didn't want to get involved in a relationship. - And other bullshit like that? - Yeah, another bullshit like that. I'm kidding. Lucky, I promise I swear. Don't hurt me. So yeah. So then Friday he texts me and he's like, "Can I come over?" And I'm like, "No." My first instinct was like, "Hell no, I'm 40." I was miserable. I had like three hours worth of sleep 'cause I couldn't sleep. I was thinking about-- - And you're on manhunt all night. - I'm on manhunt all night, and I've got trick after trick after trick scheduled for Friday afternoon. - Oh, gee, I'm so sad that we broke up. Oh, bottom, hey, hey, come on over. So now, I mean, I was really torn about the whole thing because even though it's only been two months, it's been a pretty good two months and I really was hoping things were gonna work out and I was just, I was a mess. I'm surprised I actually didn't call you Taylor looking for your advice or the number to be Baker acted. One of the two, I wasn't really quite sure yet. - Because compassion, my name is Taylor. (laughing) - Well, yeah, exactly. And then Friday, he texts me and said, "Can I come over?" And I was like, "Yeah, sure." And he texts me a couple other times Friday night, but I essentially left my phone at home. I needed to get away from everything and not think about it. So I went out with-- - So wait a minute, wait a minute. You told him he could come over and then you left? - No, he was gonna come over Saturday night, I'm sorry. - Oh, okay, thank you. - Yeah, that was the key part of the story I missed. Yeah, thanks. So I just kinda didn't respond to any texts that night and I just, you know, text him in the morning to see how he was doing. And then came over Saturday night and the first thing he did was like hug me and he started crying and he apologized and it was all good from there. So it was-- - Because, you know, miserable twinks turn you on. - Hey. (laughing) He's 25. He's older than most of them. Anyway. - So that's it, that's the story. He hugged you and she cried. I love it when the guest goes, that's so that's it. You gave in. - Yeah, I mean, I asked him what was going on and he told me and, you know, it was just a lot of, you know, just a lot of fear and, you know, his last relationship was similar to my last relationship and the fact that, you know, our exes were crazy. So he was just really afraid that, you know, I was gonna be more like his ex than like me. Wonderful and nice and calm. Braceful, delicate. - You know, let me just say a word to Lucky out there if you're listening Lucky. I mean, I'm just coming on the show as a guest and, you know, I really have no connection to any of the parties here. So maybe I'm a, you know, a subjective observer. I'm 43, I'm fat, I live alone with a cat. Embrace every chance that love that you can get and don't fuck it up this time. (laughing) - Which is actually strangely enough, pretty much what I said. I was like, listen, I realize I'm kind of fat. And, you know, I'm not always the nicest person in the world, but, you know, we share a connection and I like that. And, you know, you don't get a lot of opportunities to be happy, so I'm gonna fight for this. It's pretty much right. - Now bend over and pick up that quarter. - Yeah. (laughing) - Kinda fat. - Hey. (laughing) You bastard. Hey, I'm wearing jeans I haven't worn in six years. - Those must be fashionable. (laughing) - I was waiting for one of you guys to go there. Yes, they're a bit light for today's fashions, but I am proudly wearing those old navy jeans. - Stone washed. - Stone washed. - Gassen washed. They're totally assen washed. (laughing) With the matching jacket. (laughing) - I could. - With the leather collar. - This was the navy. - And the Frankie says relax pin on the lapel. (laughing) - And then he rolled the, is he peg leg, the jeans that rolled up the hem. - I used to peg like my jeans. - I did too. That was just a couple years ago. - Wow, okay. - He actually just stopped. - We're a little backwards here in central Illinois. - I was gonna say there's still, well that's kind of like South Jersey is very much still trapped in 1989. It's amazing when I go home how everybody is still into Zuma Pants and Bon Jovi. It's a little scary. - Zuma Pants. - And kind of comforting, scarily. (laughing) - You must go out to the bars when you go home and it's like watching an old 90s vivid video. (laughing) Like Steve's Fair and Joey Stefano. - Oh, poor dad, Joey Stefano. - I say poor dad, people all the time. That's so funny. - Poor dad, being mad. - Who else were some good 90s vivid, hmm. - Oh, oh, Danny Summer. - I always liked Ryan Yeager. - Ryan Yeager, Chad Knight. - Oh, I never liked Chad Knight. We totally lost Rodan, that's the funny thing. (laughing) - I'm all like it. - For somebody who enjoys porn as much as he does, I don't think he actually knows the names of people. - They have names? (laughing) - Wow. - I just thought they had comics. - When you're talking to people on the manhunt, that's not their actual names. That's just their profile name. - What? Really? - Yeah. - It's true. - I'm really Rodan, I'm the one being honest. - Sure you are. (laughing) - I swear I have a 12 inch cock. - And by being honest, he's telling them that he's 185 pounds, there's just something wrong with their vision. (laughing) - Hey, I could totally pass for 185 pounds if I was 6'9". (laughing) - In the desk with the light behind him. (laughing) - If I use my picture from 1993. - I'm sorry, 1989. Anyway, what's with me going after you and the wait tonight? I have no room to talk. And by no room, I mean literally, I can't fit through doors. I have no room to talk. (laughing) - Hey, I've seen the pictures of you recently. You can tell you've lost weight. - I'm actually starting to gain some weight back. - Well, don't have any turkey. (laughing) - Yeah, right. - How could you say such a filthy thing? - Now, are you all about, well, I know that Mr. Rodan cannot have any poultry because he is allergic. - Yeah. - We talked about-- - You know, there's just something ironic about Rodan being allergic to chicken. (laughing) - But I love me some Twinkies. (laughing) - Sorry. - This year, you don't have to go out to the bar to pick up all of the sad twinks who came out to their families. Like we talked about last year. - Those were the days. (laughing) Anyway, Mr. Pat, are you all about the white meat or the dark meat? - White meat, I'm not a huge holiday person, but yeah, I love the white meat. - This isn't a double entendre, is it? - No, well, I was going to see if he went with the double entendre, and if he did, then we were gonna go with it. If not, we would go back to talking about turkey. Do you have plans for Thanksgiving? Are you going to be spending them with anybody? - Some of us from the dinner theater go out for brunch, usually. - Do you have a show that night? - No, we don't have a show that night, but we do, of course, the next day. - Ugh, that sucks. - Yeah. - But I'm not in the current show, but I still have to be there. - What do you do when you're not in the current show? - I work in the box office. - Oh, excellent. Now for those, I made a D, basically. - Oh, excellent. Now for those of us who don't actually listen to, don't quit your day job, which if you're not listening, you totally should. It is definitely one of the funnier podcasts out there. Can you tell a little bit about what it is that you do and where you work, your social security number, where you keep your money, that sort of stuff? - I have no money because I'm an actor. - Excellent. - Nice. - I work full-time at a dinner theater. I'm also the marketing director. We only perform four days a week, five in December. So it's not like a full-time acting gig, other than the fact that I am in every show, except for maybe one year. In fact, this break is the first break I've had in over two and a half years. It's the first show at the holiday season that I've not done in 12 years. - Oh my gosh, is that by choice or did you decide to-- - It's my job. - Okay. - It's just my job. But that's my full-time job. I do also have a part-time job working with a corporate training firm. The kind of place that Rodan would come into a place and say, "You have to stop hiring them "because you're spending way too much money on outsourcing." - I would not say that. We're in Central Illinois, are you? - I'm in Bloomington. I have no idea where that is. - You stopped in, what was it? You stopped in Peacon? - Peacon, Dixon, and Galesburg. - Yeah, Peacon, I'm east of that. - Okay, and it was cold when I was there. It was very, very cold. I don't want to go back. - I'm sorry, the people in Peacon are fucking crazy. It sounded about the water. - We went to some really bad restaurant in Peacon, or maybe it was Peoria. It's like right there, it was really, really bad. It's like right on the water. - Well, the next time you're in Peacon, you'll have to come to the theater 'cause it's not even like 40 minutes away. - Nice. - Okay. - You can impress all of your coworkers. You can say, I heard about this great dinner theater we should go to. And I've got it in with the marketing director, and he also is performing. - That's a good point. I'll have to remember that. For the next time I'm in Peacon. - That's right. - It's hopefully, well. - I would love next Tuesday, admit it. - No. - We do a lot of comedy first, the occasional musical. - And you were just in the odd couple recently. - I was, I just was in the odd couple. - And you had many customers that almost died while you were in the odd couple. - Yes, we did. We had an awful run of bad luck there. I don't know if it's my performance or what, but geez. - No, usually the rescue runs were before the show started. - Oh, well, that's good. - Yeah, that's good. - They got too overly excited because they were going to see Pat perform. - Yeah. - So they just like, you know, clutch their chest or fell over and broke a hip and had all the reasons. - Now, what has been your favorite role to date that you've performed in? - Oh, geez, sorry. - Well, considering, I just counted the other day. I just, considering I've done over a hundred and, I've been on 104 shows. - Holy crap. - Wow. - Yeah, well, you know, I have no life. My favorite, I'd have to separate them into musicals and comedies. And my favorite musical of all time is Forever Plaid. - Okay. - Which we are doing for the last time next year. - Walk for the last time. - We're doing it for the last time because we're all way too fucking old to be doing it as it is. (laughing) And as far as comedy goes, I'd have to say, probably one that you've never heard of, Ray Kuni's funny money. - I, yes, you're absolutely right. I've never heard of that before. - We do a lot of shows you've never heard of, trust me. Like old like, like old like 30 stuff or? - A lot of British. A lot of British forces. A lot of just obscure comedies that dinner theaters specialize in. Michael and Kevin will have heard of most of them, but the general public, they don't know. - Okay. Now is, now is noises off considered a British farce? - Yes. - Okay. - It's a bit of a deconstruction of a farce, but yes it is. - Okay. But my, my, our college that Rodin and I went to, they did that. My senior year, they did noises off. And they did, it was hysterical. - It's a very funny show. - And I've seen the movie and the movie's not quite as funny as the, I remember the, the, the play being that. - No, it's not. - Yeah. - Oh, and that was said with, that was over there. - No, it's not. (laughing) - Like if you would have said it was. - Actually, that's a show I've never done. - Excellent. Very excellent. And Rodin has had a taste of the theater. - Yeah. - And by theater, and by that I mean, he's blown his drama professor in college. - Hey, sure. - Like you do. - I was like, I'm trying to remember, I was like, no, I never did that. (laughing) - No, I did, wait a minute. - I had to think, I was like, um, no. - Not that. No, not that I could college professor. - What? - No, I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I kid. - Rodin has done theater? Is that what you're saying? - Yes. - What have you done? - I've only done a couple of shows like, you know, back in high school and college kind of thing. So. - Like what? - I did Oklahoma. - Ooh, I've done it twice. - Yeah, I was old man, Carnes. Got all this. - Ah. - I was Wilburger. - Then I was Judd. - Aw, the farmer and the cow man should be friends. - Oh yeah. (laughing) - I have no idea what you're talking about, but go ahead. (laughing) - And I did a couple of melodramas. I can't remember the names all of a sudden, where I was the villain and I like the villain. - Again, that's shocking. - Hey. (laughing) And I forget what else. - I was in a Christmas carol, which was really bad. Really, really bad. And they made us do British accents and they made us do multiple different versions of British accents. 'Cause, you know, we all played the various different characters throughout the show. - Sure. - Oh my God, was it horrible? - It was horrible. - It's the only bad reviews I've ever gotten. - Oh. - Yeah. - Well, if anybody was sane enough to want to know exactly what shows I've done, there is a website, patgeich.com, that there is a listing of every show I've done since 1986. But, you know, not that anybody would really find any interest there. There's also some audio clips and, you know, a lot of pictures, but I digress. (laughing) - That's okay. Plug yourself. - Hey. - I have to. Nobody else wants to. - Oh. - Video podcast. Rodan, what was the, I saw you on a play in college where it was something with matches? Were you like, like your family on fire or something? - Mirrors, yeah. - Or I got to play like a psychotic person who, you didn't know whether or not he really killed his family or if he was a grieving father. So he would like go back and forth between scenarios. So, it was pretty cool actually. - Comedy podcast. - Yeah. (laughing) - Yeah, for a while, I was kind of typecast as crazy. So I did a lot of like really crazy parts and stuff. So, in college, where I was like, you know, kind of like the normal everyday kind of looking guy who was really the neighborhood psychopath kind of thing. - So somebody really had a beat on you. - Yeah, pretty much. (laughing) - Well, I don't have very, most of my acting repertoire really comes from the elementary set. I believe that my finest hour was playing the Sheriff of Nottingham in Mrs. Code's production in fifth grade of Robin Hood. (laughing) - Nice. But my acting, in my mind, and he's of course going on to do wonderful things. My acting nemesis was a friend of my name, Rick Brown, who actually I've just reconnected with on Facebook. And he was very much into acting and he always got the lead role in everything. And I was always feeling like I wanted to, you know, get the lead even though he was clearly more interested in it than I was. But again, I have to be the center of attention. - Well, of course. - So in, I think it was third grade we did Christmas Carol and he was a Scrooge. And I was an instrumentalist. I played the thing that looks like a fish that's wooden that you run the drumstick over. And it goes the brr, brr, brr. That was what I, that was what I played. - Yeah, and an authentic Victorian instrument. - Yeah. (laughing) - And then we did George Washington, a man in his times, and he was George Washington and I was King George the third. So, and I had a purple cape and a crown. And I still have the purple cape. I may have to take a picture of myself in it. My mom made for me so I had to keep it. - I'm experiencing a lot of deja vu because you have talked about this on a podcast before. - Yeah, yes. - Yes, you did. Because I remember thinking at the time, oh my God, I wonder if it's the same brick brown I know, but it can't be 'cause you're way too young. - Oh, okay. Well, then I don't wanna talk about it in it. But anyway, I had more lines than he did in Robinhood. And I was very excited about that by like three lines. - 'Cause he's counted. - This shows the whole like, you know, diva that I was. If I went and actually counted the lines and he was in, I was in every scene but one. And there were scenes that he wasn't in that I was in. - The villain always gets the best part. - I was thrilled. I was absolutely thrilled. And I still have that tunic too, that my mom maybe was orange with a little yellow and orange shield in the middle of it. - Can you wear it? - So do you make Babaloo dress up like Robinhood and you like, you know, beat him with your staff? - Yeah, hey. - Video podcast. - Video podcast. I've actually, recently, when he moved in, I actually found the tunic and picked it up and I was looking at like, I can't believe I used to fit into this. - Oh. - It's like the tiniest little, it's little 'cause I was a little skinny mini. - You're saying it's a scarf now? - It's pretty much, pretty much it is. - It's a legging. - It's my, it's my, you know, goal outfit. I want to be able to fit back into it. (laughing) - Is Rick Brown the guy who wrote that really bad action movie that you made me watch? - No, no, that would be Eric Barker, who is somebody else who I've recently reconnected with on Facebook and he, okay. It was the three of us who were friends when we were growing up. It was me, Rick Brown, Eric Barker. And, you know, Rick Brown went on to create his own editing company up in Manhattan and he's done things for like, lifetime and various TV shows and that sort of thing. You know, my other friend, Eric Barker, went out to Los Angeles, became a screenwriter, actually had a movie that he wrote, produced and had like Eric Roberts in it. You know, stage will, but he still, he had a movie produced, you know. - Taylor is a podcaster. - I'm a podcaster who works with dead people. - Yay! - And they're sad children. Hurrah! - How do you get out of bed in the morning? - I should have paid more attention to my guidance counselor. (laughing) - Well, you certainly still have that, the megalomania that, you know, you had as a youth. - I know, you think I would be more, you know, driven or something, I don't know what the word is, but it's, you know, again, no, I'm happy working for my little nonprofit. - You focused your energy on some other portion of your life, that's all that it is. - He focused his energy on crazy people. - Right, which is why I worked with you for two years. - Well, I was gonna say he focused his energy on getting his ass plowed, but, you know, I didn't wanna, you know. - Well, that was a lot of wasted energy in my 20s about that. (laughing) - Mostly about whining about not being a top or a bottom. - Oh no, I was totally a top in my 20s. - Oh yeah. - That's because I wasn't getting any, so I just convinced myself, oh no, I'm a top, I'm totally a top. Yeah, that changed. (laughing) That changed one drunken night. (laughing) - I think I was there, but not there. - No, you were in the other room, and I think of myself, this is the best thing ever. (laughing) - Oh my God. So Rodan was in the other room while you were having sex, kind of like Melanie was in the other room while I was having sex. - Yeah, well, we were roommates at the time. And trust me, it was, there was lots of nights that I got to hear, you know, from one remover, the escapades that were at the life of Rodan in his 20s. - So you had separate bedrooms, even though you were roommates? - Yeah. - Yeah, it was one of those fancy colleges. - No, we were high. - Oh no, this was, we rented a house after college. - Oh. - Yeah, yeah, we lived in those of our listeners who are in St. Petersburg, or the Tampa Bay Area. We lived in a little tiny house in Old North East that was right behind Sunken Gardens, which is a local botanical garden. And it was a great little house. - Yeah, it was. - I had numerous crazy roommates from Dan included in that. - Hey. - And I had lots of wonderful tricks in that house. - Yes, here's pretty much what happened on any given Saturday night. Rodan would come home from work, we would hang out for a while. Rodan would decide he wanted to go out to a bar. I didn't want to sit home by myself, so I would go to the bar, we would both get dressed up. I would tell myself, this was gonna be the night that I was going to meet somebody. Cut to three hours later, after we've listened to, you know, Stars on 54, if you could read my mind. Or, you know, ultra nate-free, or love-oosh be my lover. And I'm driving home by myself, muttering to myself because he's gone home with somebody. 20 minutes later, I'm on America Online paying $2.95 an hour, masturbating to bullet board service pictures. That, ladies and gentlemen, was my 27th year. - Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh. - Well, I got lots of good sex back then. - So I heard 32, you know that I'm 32 and fat. Well, lucky he gives it to me good. - Oh, cool. Well, how vivid. (laughing) And we bring it back to Vivid Video from the mid 90s. (laughing) You know, it seems like I remember, the most sex I used to get was when I was on the road traveling for the, I used to work for an educational publishing company. And I used to go to Teachers' Conventions. I used to get laid all the time when I was out on the road. - Hmm. - At Teacher Conventions? Well, not by the teachers, but usually by the hotel staff. (laughing) Oh, there's a busboy. Hi, what's your name? (laughing) - Yeah. I don't, when I was, when I was living in the hotel for that month, when I first moved to Monroe, there was like three different hotel people who wanted to have sex. I'm just like, no, I'm okay, you know, 'cause I like saw my broken foot at the time. I'm like, no, I'm good, fine, thanks. - Can't get back to Guadalajara for the holidays, Esteban. (laughing) - Come let me press you to my man, Pussim. (laughing) - Suckle from my hairy teeth. (laughing) I just threw up on my mouth a little. - Yeah. - Speaking of hairy teeth, is anybody gonna watch Rosie O'Donnell's Thanksgiving special on Wednesday night? It's not a Thanksgiving special, it's a series. It's just bringing the variety show back to television, I'm so excited. - Yeah, I will believe that when it makes it more than two episodes. - Well, it's not gonna be a weekly, it's gonna be, isn't it just gonna be pre-holiday stuff that she's gonna do it? - Oh, I thought she was gonna do a weekly variety show. - It's a tryout for a weekly variety show. - I think if anybody can do it, she can. - I think so. - I have said four years, I'm not a huge, like I don't buy a lot of TV shows on DVD, just because I buy them and, or I get them as gifts, like Rodin got me the first two seasons of Wonder Woman, and I've never watched them, but they look really pretty on my shelf, and they look nice. One show that I would definitely buy and watch if it ever came out on DVD, The Carol Burnett Show. - Oh yeah, oh yeah. - It's out on DVD. - No, it's not. - It's not like complete season sets. - No, it's not. - They have not like specials and that sort of. - Hand-picked episodes by Carol that they're charging $20 a piece for. - Right, right. - I think that the only reason I could think why she hasn't done it would be the music rights. - Yeah. - Yep. - And the rights for all the guest stars. - Oh, I didn't even think of that. 'Cause even I know that the Sunny and Cher Show, they have, I don't think they have season sets, but they have some stuff on DVD, and those are really expensive. - Yeah, the rights for all that stuff is very hard to get. Hell, that stuff was on television before they even had home video. - I know, that was one of my favorite shows growing up with The Carol Burnett Show. Sometimes, if I'm having a particularly rough day, if you go on YouTube, some of those clips are amazing. They've really held up really well. And I'm nothing else just to watch the outfits that they have on is incredible. - Oh yeah. Well, I think you would like the shows at my theater, Taylor, 'cause we get compared to The Carol Burnett Show an awful lot because we break each other up. - It's a win. - It's like Tim Conway and Harvey Korman. Every once in a while we'll break each other up and it's just like that. - Well, definitely, I have never been to Chicago or the Illinois. I would like to go one day. - Believe it when I say central Illinois is not Chicago. - Oh, it's not. It most certainly isn't. I was born and raised in Chicago. I spent the first 18 years of my life in Chicago and I came down here to go to school and I stayed. But no, we're only two hours south of Chicago so you could go and stay in Chicago and just make a little trek down and then right back up. - Okay. - Now, did you meet Melanie in high school, right? - Eighth grade we actually met. - Oh my God. Please tell me there's pictures of the two you and eighth grade someplace. - You know, I had some wonderful pictures of like seventh grade, my seventh grade and eighth grade picture and I don't know where they are. I can't find them. - That sucks. - Yeah. - Well, now, were you guys-- - Melanie's got some embarrassing high school pictures of me. - And that seems to be the new thing everybody's doing is posting their embarrassing high school in college photos. I've noticed that on Facebook lately. But now, did you guys, were you guys in a class together or did you-- - We actually went, my neighborhood in Chicago had two elementary schools, one on either end and she went to the other elementary school. But we met when we took the advanced placement Latin course at the high school. - Wow. - Wow, is that nerdy? - Yeah, it was. You could go and either take Latin or Spanish and it was an early morning class. We got on the bus and went to the high school and that's where we met. And then, of course, we went to high school together. We were in high school band together. We were never that close until about senior year in high school when somebody outed me and everybody shunned me but her. - Wow. - 'Cause she said, well, I don't care. - Yeah. And this was-- - And, of course, the guy that outed me was the biggest fag in school. - Well, and that's because, you know, misery loves company, so-- - Well, yeah. I often wonder about that. - Yeah, but he was still pretending to be straight. - Yeah, I often wonder about-- Like, there were guys that gave me grief in high school and in middle school. And I often wonder how many of them have had a cock in their mouth at some point. - Well, you know, at least one of them has. - I like to imagine certain ones. (laughing) Is that wrong? (laughing) - Only if it's while Bobaloo is fucking you. (laughing) - No, no, nothing like that. Nothing like that. - He is jacking off while he's doing it, however. (laughing) - Well, not right now. - Well, that's-- - Oh, you're talking about-- - I'm talking about-- (laughing) - Geez. - Well, most of the time, Taylor is jacking during the show. - That's, oh my God, that is so not true any more after you all told me about it. - It's taffy that's doing that, isn't it? (laughing) - What'd you say? - She's stroking a big back cock. - I thought it was taffy that was doing that. - It's taffy stroking her big back. She's stroking it right now. (laughing) - We love you, taffy. - Yeah. - Yes, I'm never gonna be allowed on this show again. I know it. Oh, no, trust me. She'll say, no, I want him on when I'm here. - Sometimes. - Oh, great. - That's all that. Let him say that to my face. - And by face, she means her oversized, engorged Clint. (laughing) - You said Clint. (laughing) - I works for Planned Parenthood. That doesn't scare me. (laughing) - It should. What is it from the fly? Be afraid, be very afraid. (laughing) She'll unzip the front of her pants and it'll pop out. Is there a problem? (laughing) - So Taylor, what have you been up to? - Well, let's see. Last night, we put up the Christmas tree. - Oh, how was that? - Because, you know, it's November 23rd. (laughing) - You only get a month, it's fine. I've just accepted it. 'Cause people have their Christmas trees up here like November 1st, so. - Well, I can understand. I mean, this is not to get all gross and syrupy and everything, but this is our first Christmas together and Bob will lose first Christmas in the house. So we were both kind of anxious about putting up the tree and it wasn't until I was up, you know, on the top rung of the ladder in my garage and the ladder is like shaking and he's in the front half of the house and I'm thinking, he's gonna come back here in 20 minutes, wondering where I am and find me, you know, dead on the floor with a broken neck, that I'm thinking, I think this is a little too early for a Christmas tree, but he wanted, you know, he wanted the tree. So I brought the tree down and we put up the lights, the lights were a nightmare because some of the lights would flick on and some of them were flashing and some of them weren't and we had to take all the lights off at one point and put the lights back on. I will say this, I'm gonna take pictures and/or do a video. I bought a bunch of Christmas ornaments last year after all of the stuff at Target went on sale like the day or two after Christmas when it was like, you know, 75% off and they were trying to get rid of all the merchandise, which is all of that set, which is lime green and fuchsia and electric blue and all of those. - Yeah, it was quickly when you got that. - You may have been, you may have been with me. Well, I finally, I've looked at it all year in my garage and it's neat little packages sitting off to the side. I'm like, I can't wait till Christmas when I put it all on. It is a drag queen Christmas in my front window. - Yeah, it was very Mardi Gras when we picked it out. - Right, and we spent all day cleaning the living room before we put up the, you know, before we put up the tree and one of the boxes has all of these snowflakes that are covered in glitter and you go to pull them out and I swear to God, we could have been snorting lines off of the coffee table last night of this, you know, rainbow. It's rainbow cocaine and we could have had a good time with it because we, there was glitter everywhere. It's kind of a bit much. And by a bit much, I mean fabulous. - Get all sweaty and take your shirts off and roll around in it and have glitter sex? - Exactly, under the tree. Because nothing says the birth of Christ like sticking in my boyfriend under the tree. With twinkling lights, of course. - Do you still have the glitter in your back hair? - God. (laughing) - You're an ass, and I do not have that much back hair. - Of course I put glitter in it. - Just blow me. Anyway, so we were doing that and I also had my, you know, team bereavement camp today. Which is, again, comedy podcast, yay, grief. - Yay, yay, yay, yay, yay, breavers. - Woo hoo, and we ended up having a good turnout and a good group of kids and it was very therapeutic and we allowed them to talk about their feelings and they all had the appropriate cry and then we did some fun activities and then we took pictures of them. Not while they were crying 'cause that would be-- - That would be hot, that would be cool. - Now they were all girls, so it wouldn't be-- (laughing) - Oh, they were like, yeah. 'Cause if there were boys then it'd be like Twilight or something. - Did you, so did you see Twilight? - No, I didn't. - Okay, I would've thought for sure you would've gone. - No. - I have no desire to see Twilight. - I do want to see Bolt, however. - I do too. - Babaloo is all about going to see Bolt and I kind of have said to him that I'll go and I'm kind of hoping he forgets. - You will enjoy it. - Shut up. - You will love it. - I just don't, I can't look at John Travolta. And by look, I know he's not in the movie, but his voice is. - Yeah. - I hear his voice and I just think-- - Gay sign out. - You know, just making out. - Yeah, pretty much. That's all I picture. (laughing) - So you're telling us about decorating your tree. We and we got you all to the movies. - Oh, well, no, we ended up putting up, you know, all of those ornaments and then I had all of the personal ornaments which I had a lot more superhero stuff than I realized. So there's a lot of, you know, Wonder Woman and Batman and the Hulk and Spider-Man and I got a bunch of things like that on the tree. - So you're mixing your Marvel and your DC universes on the same-- - I know. - Well, it is the Christmas time where anything can happen and if that means that the Wonder Woman and the Hulk can, you know, live in perfect harmony, then I'm all about it the holidays. - Well, except it's really, you know, awful because the Hulk is Jewish, I'm sorry. (laughing) - We'll say happy Kwanzaa. (laughing) - So we had, you wanna hear something really sad? - Sure. - What? - I don't have a Christmas tree. - Really? - Have you ever had a Christmas tree? - Yeah, when we were young, you know, we had Christmas trees but, you know, I grew up kind of poor and we never celebrated the holidays that much and I don't care about Christmas trees and all that stuff. You know, sure, I go to, I have wonderful friends and I go to their house and we do all kinds of fun things but it's like, eh, the holidays to me never met that much. None of them. - Yeah. - Wow. - It's very sad. I'm a sad miserable bastard, really. (laughing) - Thanks for having me. - I was gonna say, love the holidays everybody. (laughing) - Well, okay, can I give you a word of advice? - Sure. - I did not put up a tree, I always had trees, you know, growing up and then I had a tree. I had a little tiny tree that I had in my apartment that was like literally one of those that I bought for $5 and it was about a foot tall and you plugged it and you put it on your mantle and it had Christmas lights attached to it. And then the last two years I didn't put up a tree, mainly because the one year, well, the one year we had just broken up and he was still living in the house and neither one of us was necessarily in the mood to be very festive and jolly. And then the next year I was going up north. So I thought, well, there's no sense of me putting out a tree if I'm gonna be up north for the holidays and I'm not gonna be able to necessarily enjoy it. I really missed having a tree. And I didn't realize how much I did until I decided not to have a tree and then made the mistake of telling Taffy I wasn't putting up a tree. - Aw, oh, good. - So to which she pretty much said, I'm coming over we're decorating a tree and I put up this big stink, cut to, you know, she and I leave, go our separate ways after lunch, I come home and she's decorated the front of my house. (laughing) - Aw, that's sweet. - Yeah, she's and a little crazy. Glenn close from fatal attraction, but that's neither here nor there. - There was a bunny boiling in the, in the stupot. - There was a reindeer boiling in the stupot. (laughing) - No, I ended up a tree the last two years either since the spring I broke up. - Yeah, what I was going to say, even if you just get one of those little Walgreens $10 something, it is kind of nice to have just a little something. One of my favorite things to do and we purposely put up holiday, or we purposely put up Jesus Christ. We purposely put up multicolored lights this year because I like the, it kind of gives off that peachy, like rosy pink glow. - Yeah. - And there's something about coming home at night and having your room or your apartment or your house bathed in that light that actually is very soothing to me. - Yeah. - I mean, obviously you're a grown man, you could do whatever you want, but if you're vacillating between getting a tree and not getting a tree, I would say to lean on the side of getting an actual tree. - I'm not really vacillating. - Okay, I haven't had one in over 20 years. - All right. - Yeah, considering I've lived in, I've lived on my own since 1987. I've never had a Christmas tree. People kept buying the ornaments and then they stopped, they're like, you're never gonna get a tree. I am like, oh my god. (laughing) - Aw. Yeah, I haven't decided if Lucky and I are gonna decorate a tree over here, but we have decided that we are going to make gingerbread houses. - Oh god. - 'Cause we saw the-- - Okay. - I know, 'cause we saw the sets at like Sam's Club, where you know, like get the walls and everything. And so we decided we're gonna put them together and we're gonna try to make a video podcast out of it. So we'll see how that goes. - Please let him just turn it escorting frosting on each other and licking it off. (laughing) - Well, I'm trying to convince Lucky to just do it with his shirt off, but I don't think he'll go for that. - I was gonna say, if he's gonna be on a show, they're called sleeves, embrace them. (laughing) - He wasn't expecting me to be taking pictures of him when we were doing the pumpkins. - Well, the pumpkin video is very cute. So I think that should become your tradition and then you can do valentine, you create valentines for each other and valentines day and you can do Easter eggs and you can shoot off fireworks for the July. - Wow, you really took that concept way further than I was thinking, but who thoughts? - That is what you, you know, Southerners do in Louisiana, don't you? Y'all just shoot off fireworks in your backyard for the July. (laughing) - I don't think it even has to be July. - No, not generally. (laughing) - Happy Arbor day, light 'em up! Happy Saturday! (laughing) - Yeah. - All right. - Well, cool, we look forward to that video podcast. - No problem, anytime. - And I'm gonna be doing another video as well in the few weeks. I'm gonna be showing off my mom's cheesecake and that's not a euphemism. (laughing) - And my mom's-- - I'm gonna say. - I'm gonna do my mom's cheesecake. All right, that's-- - If it's cheesecake, then she's gotta get to a clinic. (laughing) - Oh! So, yeah, we're-- - And we're right back to Melanie's yeast infection. (laughing) - Mm, yeast. - Excuse me. Yeah, so we're gonna be taping that probably in the next week or two and uploading that. For anybody who wants to try it, it's a different kind of cheesecake recipe. It's not, you know, your typical springform thing. There's no cheese, there's no cake. - No. - One of those is horseshit. - Yeah, so-- - And-- - You and I have birthdays coming up. - We do, you me and Jesus. (laughing) I play with all the same league. I am actually excited. I'm a little pissed off at you for the whole birthday countdown thing 'cause it's all like 14. I'm like, dude, there's like 17 days to my birthday. What's up with that? But fine, I'll just wait until you finish your countdown to begin the final countdown. (laughing) - So if I got this right, if I got this right, Taylor, you're December 5th. - December 5th. - And Rodin, you must be December 11th. - Yes. - Oh, see, I was right. 'Cause I don't think you ever once said what days they actually were, you were just like, were this many days and his is six days after mine. - Yeah. - December 5th and December 11th. - Yeah. - Well, you had an early birthday present and already sent to you, Taylor. - Excellent. - Wow. - Again, is that naked Polaroids? Please tell me it's naked Polaroids. - You wouldn't wanna see naked Polaroids unless maybe you're-- - You don't know. - Sick that way. (laughing) - I need artwork for the spot cast. (laughing) - I was gonna send you a head shot in case you wanted to put a head shot of me in your show notes or something. - Oh, I've already found a picture of you that I'm gonna use. - Oh, I'm good. (laughing) - Where did you didn't go to my website, did you? - I did, but I didn't get it from there. - Oh. - Where could you've got? Well, did you get it from the Don't Quit Your Day job website? - I may have. - Oh. (laughing) - Oh, lovely. - Speaking of Don't Quit Your Day job, I'm really thinking about doing a weekend in Dallas soon with the Lucky. - You really need to see Melanie. She was very hurt by you. - Yeah, and I feel so bad because, you know, I invited Gooney at the very last minute because Gooney wanted to see the show so bad and I felt bad about that, so. - How was the tour of Avenue Q? - It was very good. - I love that show. - It is very, very good. And I would see it again in three or four more times after that, I'm sure. - I have the karaoke album. (laughing) - Avenue Q? I do, yes, actually. - Excellent. - I downloaded it to make a funny thing for British John, but I thought, well, I'll take the whole thing while I'm at it. - Nice. - Did you hear the song that British John did for Big Fatty? I don't remember. I listened to all of the British John stuff. Which one was it? - Big John. - It was on, do you listen to Big Fatty? - No. - Oh, okay. Big Fatty played it on his show. It was very, very funny. I need to catch up on Big Fatty. I'm about two weeks behind on him. (laughing) - Insert. - Anal joke here. (laughing) - Anal jokes about Big Fatty, you're fun. (laughing) - Well, Anal jokes about British John are fun too. - Well, that is true. - Yes. - He's British, they all get bummed. (laughing) - Oh, whenever I go through like Gay Day's pictures, and I see that one with him in his little boxers where he's showing the, like, the measuring tape, I just always giggle. - Yeah. - Yeah. - Yeah. - Yeah. - Yeah. - Yeah. - Okay, Taylor, you've been trying to wind down the show for the last 10 minutes, just freakin'. - I know, I know, I feel bad. Just because we start to keep talking about other things, and I'll just end up editing this all out anyway. (laughing) All right, well, Pat, thank you very much for being our guest co-host tonight, filling in for Taffy's vagina. - Yay. - They love Taffy. - Oh, you're welcome. And you will have to be on some time when Taffy is on as well. I know she would love to have you. We're still supposed to do that like crossover thing that I kind of talked about doing with Melanie at one point. - Yeah, they'd be great. - We should totally do it. Where just some of us are on your show, and some of you guys are on our show. - Yeah. - And we don't explain to anybody. (laughing) All of a sudden, it's Stacy and Rodan and Jerry on one show, and then you know, you mean Melanie and Pat on the other. Are you mean Melanie and Taffy? - That's right, welcome to the podcast exchange program. There you go. There you go, we should totally try and do something like that in the future. How can, for those of our listeners who don't listen to Don't Quit Your Day job, how can they find you guys? - Oh sure, great. Throw me under the bus. - Oh. - They can go to dkydjpodcast.com. - Okay. - And listen to us there. - And they can also go to iTunes as well, right? - Yes. - Okay, just type in Don't Quit Your Day job, and you guys are the only ones that come up I would assume. - I hope so. I don't know. I don't even have iTunes myself. - Really? - Wow. - And Melanie hasn't given you the speech yet? - Oh, yeah, she has. - Okay, 'cause Taylor gives it to me on a regular basis. - That's what she said. - Oh. (laughing) - I feel all flushed again. (laughing) - Well, do you listen to your show? Sure, I just downloaded it directly. - Okay, cool. I have an MP3 player, it's not an iPod, but it gets me by. I don't know what to say to that. - I know, it's like. - What, then I don't have an iPod. - What, huh? What is this horseshit? - No. I'm sorry, am I gonna be drummed out of the podcasting world? Great, now I have to edit out everything that he talked about for the entire show. (laughing) - It'll be really kind of an awkward show than just me and Taylor talking. - Just you and I, just you and I reliving how I used to masturbate when I was 27. (laughing) All right, well, let's finish this up. Thank you all for listening to episode 84. As always, you can go to our blog, which is potasmycopilot.com. You can email us at potasmycopilot@gmail.com. Call our listener line at 206, 202, 5165. We are a friend on MySpace, which is MySpace.com/potasmycopilot. And please join our Facebook group. Okay, so I love potasmycopilot. I know that we are backed up on voicemails. Next week we're gonna be doing a lot of voicemails. We probably have about like 10 in the queue. I don't think we're gonna do all 10 next week, but please feel free to call and leave voicemails. We didn't forget about you guys. We just, it's just been a little crazy with other stuff going on, and I apologize. - We need some voicemail x-lacks. - Yeah, thank you for that mental picture. I guess that's pretty much it. Rodan, do you have anything else you want to say? - Love you, Lucky. - Okay, everybody, have a wonderful Thanksgiving. If you are traveling, please be safe and enjoy your family. If there's one thing that we are all thankful for here, thankful for here at potasmycopilot is definitely all of you as our listeners. And we will see you all next week. Thanks a lot. This is Taylor. - And Rodan. - And Pat. - Have a good week, everybody. - Bye. - Bye, bye. - I can't say my name without saying "and" before it. I get confused. (laughing) - Ziploc bags confuse you. - Shut up. - Taylor, he doesn't have to be smart. He's pretty. (laughing) - Well, he's smart. - Yeah, well, I'm not that pretty. ♪ Blue that was inside my cup ♪ ♪ I'm sorry to the bloody pool that has to theme us up ♪ ♪ Happy Thanksgiving, happy Thanksgiving, happy Thanksgiving ♪ ♪ Happy Thanksgiving, happy Thanksgiving, happy Thanksgiving day ♪ ♪ Happy Thanksgiving, happy Thanksgiving, happy Thanksgiving day ♪ ♪ Happy Thanksgiving, happy Thanksgiving, happy Thanksgiving day ♪ (upbeat music)