Pod Is My Copilot
PiMC: Episode 43 - ...And He Thinks Taffy's Black, or Speaking Of One In Each Hole....
Ok, it's 4:18 in the blessed AM, so I'm gonna make this brief. 1.) I was wrong in my assessment of Cassie's voicemail. She does drop the F-bomb. 2.) Please listen after the closing music for cutie Peter's cookie recipie. Mad About You...Lost In Your Eyes, we are Pod Is My Copilot. CALL OUR NEW LISTENER LINE!!! 206-202-5165, blog: www.podismycopilot.com. myspace: www.myspace.com/podismycopilot, e-mail: podismycopilot@gmail.com, facebook group: Ok, So I Love Pod Is My Copilot. Music: Brain Bukit - Run Rabbit/The Chase.
"Hey guys, it's Kevin from Tuesday, how are ya?" "I'm up to say, I just wanted to call the list for lunch because, you know, I can. So I thought I'd tell you a really bad joke, okay? How does the clean bee get around her hive?" "She's thrown." "Okay, I do care if we're sitting on a perch, one says the other, it's no, it's bitchy around here." "How do you kill a circus?" "Go for the juggler." "You're listening to Pot As My Co-Pilot with Taylor the Latte Boy." "Taffy Carlisle, Huffington and Rodan." "Hi, this is Taylor the Latte Boy, oh that was way too loud, right, hold on." "I was gonna say Jesus and he said I'm loud." "Alright, let me just, let me just try that again." "Ha! I'm still with the Latte Boy!" "Alright, you know what, fucker, that's staying in." "It's right." "Hey everybody, it's, everybody, it's Taylor the Latte Boy, welcome to episode 43 of Pot As My Co-Pilot. I am joined by Taffy Carlisle Huffington and Rodan." "Hello, bitches." "I was the kindler gentler host, thank you." "Yes you were, for once, so it is a bit nipply out tonight." "It's fantastic." "I am in my long pajama bottoms and my long sleeve t-shirt, I'm drinking a hot chai tea, and I've got pug slippers because I've got them both resting on my feet right now, so." "Well, tragically I'm still in all my clothes, including my bra and my actual shoes." "Oh." "I know, I wish I was in snuggly PJs, but I didn't get a chance to change." "Well, I'm sorry to hear that." "Me too." "Do you wear pajamas?" "I have many, many pairs of pajamas." "Oh." "I don't sleep in them, but I love to have them on for the hours, okay, I don't sleep, so I don't normally have something on the six hours before I go to bed after everyone else has. Yeah, I love PJs. I'm a big flannel girl, I like pink flannel and you know, fleas, and I bought hemp socks today so I can't wait to put those on my feet." "Himp socks?" "You can't even imagine what I did today." "Do they make your feet calm?" "Do they what?" "Make your feet calm, get a little soaked out." "Do they make them calm, and then they want to-" "When she smokes them?" "Then I toes on to eat Doritos, I don't know why." "I went to the sweet water co-op today." "Oh." "And it was very much the- everyone was hula hooping, and we went on a Sunday morning so they were singing with guitars and sitars, things like amazing grace, and we shall overcome while people were walking around buying, you know, patchouli-sinted soaps and lettuce that they had grown in the co-op. And I did all of this with my family and my eldest daughter's boyfriend, who is the biggest redneck jock on the face of the earth, so he was-" "You have been to Monroe." "About as uncomfortable. The only way he could have been more uncomfortable is if he was in a gay bar, but in the only way. So yeah, so it was a lot of fun, actually. We had a great time, and of course, you know-" "He has to turn 18 eventually." "Yeah, right." "I know what I'm getting him for that 18th birthday." "A free pass to alibis?" "You're going to play the role of Jody Foster, stand up against this one ball machine." "This is two weeks in a row with the Jody Foster." "That's just in case he's decided to keep listening to the podcast, even though you told him not to." "Yeah." "We're going to get you, boy." "You sure got a pretty mouth." "Right now he's going-" "Ahh!" "I'm throwing the iPod off." "Aww." "Yeah, if he's really nervous the next time he sees me, we know he listened to the podcast." "So yes, I bought hemp socks and a hemp sweater and mint-scented soap." "I have some mint-scented soap from one of those, you know, tree-hugging hippie-fest type things that I got years ago that I've never actually used." "Well, I will tell you that I have the mint-scented soap and when you use it, you should use it tomorrow morning, especially with as cold as it is outside, because when your body gets cold or a wind blows, you get all tingly and minty and fresh feeling. And what's really bad is that I wear dresses a lot." "Oh!" "So when the wind blows up my skirt, I was like, 'Ooh, my fancy just got cold.' That's a very bad-" "How long do you scrub your wussy to keep it, you know, all tingly?" "No, no, no. I'm telling you, the mint lingers, it's bizarre. It's fabulous. I mean, for our listeners who use mint soap, they know exactly what I'm talking about and they're shaking their head yes." "Yeah, actually-" "Well, I have mint-scented, like the Bath & Body Works, I think it's eucalyptus spearmint or something. I use that." "Does it kind of make y'all tingly on your hair?" "Well, I don't use it on my hair. I use it on-" "I said it was shampoo." "It's body wash. No, it's body wash. I meant to say body wash." " Body wash for you is using it on your hair." "Yeah." "I'm not-" "Okay. Fuck you. I'm not that hairy." "He is bare." "I am." "Whoof." "He's a power-" "He's a power." "He's bare Jesus. You have to tell Bear Jesus story." "Well, we're going to talk about Bear Jesus in a little while. So anyway, mint soap." "No, that's all, just that I got mint soap and I can't wait to use it tonight. I got a three pack actually, I got mint and orange and something that was bizarre that the little huffington wanted. So of course, she'll smell like, you know, patchouli and Matthew McConaughey's beard or something." "No." "Okay, I saw the preview for that stoner movie that he's in. Oh my God, does that look like a train wreck?" What stoner movie? "I don't know, like, stoner beach or something, I don't know what it is." "Is it the one with Kate Hudson?" "Yes." "Oh, yeah, that's unfortunate." "They look, yeah, they look baked the entire movie. Like she now looks older than Goldie Hahn. He's gross." "They both are gross." "I don't, I could, you know, take her or leave her, but he's just, oh God. He smells like, he looks like he smells like armpit, that's just, he's just, oh God, he's just, I know, you know, lots of like, you know, the ladies like him like, "Oh, Matthew McConaughey, he's so dreamy." "I'm like, no." "No, not really." "Oh, no." "The girl who sits outside of my office, the ladies, outside of my office at work." "Outside of my office at work? She has a framed picture of the McConaughey at her desk. That's because you're in Monroe, Louisiana." "They don't know any better." "Exactly." "It's, it's just funny because she's got, you know, like her husband, you know, with a tack up on her wall, and then a framed picture of Matthew McConaughey. So yeah." "That's something John Goodman would do, except it would be Richard Simmons in the frame." "Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh. We have a picture of John Goodman with Richard Simmons. I will email it to you later." "Really?" "It's, it's fabulous." "It's comedy personified." "Oh, my goodness." "Richard Simmons is comedy personified." "Oh, yeah, they did a bit on him this week on Best Week Ever about him talking about his sparkly tops and how he's the jester for all fat kings and queens in the world." "Oh, my God. Did he say that?" "Yes." "No." "Yes. You have to check out Best Week Ever. Did you just burp into the microphone?" "Um, I was going to edit that out, but yes, I did, and it was a little burp." "Charming." "It was a little burp, but nice." "But now that you've talked about it, now I have to keep it in." "That's charming. I think I'm falling in love with you all over again." "Now I wish I had Cherry Coke. I would take a big swig of it, and then I would do a little big burp." "Now, are you, we know those people who could burp like your ABCs?" "No. No, that was my sister." "Yeah, that was my-" "Really?" "Who is a girl?" "Yes. She could do like the Star Spingle Banner and her ABCs, and it was bizarre." "That's-" "It's a charm." "That's a story." "Yeah, right. Thank you, you class lady." "Why didn't you tell this during the holiday episode?" "My cousin can burp Jingle Bells, y'all." "We're country, y'all." "We're country." "So did you have a good week this week, Gritty? I had a very good- well, I had a bad week at work, and a good week personally, so-" "That means you got like-" "Yes. I want to hear- okay, well let's let him tell the story, but I want to hear all about the date." "The date?" "Because you talked last episode about having a date, so-" "Yes, I had a date with Goony, because I haven't figured out a better name for him yet." "Goony?" "Goony, Goony Spice, really." "Okay, so he's Goony Spice because- and I mentioned this on the blog- he bought tickets-" "Which apparently Tabby doesn't read." "Apparently not." "He bought tickets to go to Spice Girls concert in LA, and went to LA to go watch Spice- like a one night overnight kind of thing to watch Spice Girls concert where he was like really close to the front row. I mean, he was close up in the first 20 rows or somewhere, something like that." "I'm waiting to hear the problem with this." "Well, it's a little weird- four hundred and fifty dollars for Spice Girls tickets, that's without airfare." "Again, I'm waiting to hear the issue that you have with this." "I don't have an issue, it's very sweet, and you know, I figure this could be the one person I've ever dated that you may actually get along with. But- "I've gotten along with people that you've gone out with in the past. That's not fair, just because you decided to spend the last seven years with a little evil pop-bellied dwarf does not mean that I've not gotten along with everybody else." "Nice!" "He does not have a pop-bellied, well at least not all seven years." "I've seen his Myspace pages, yeah he does. And he's a cuckoo." "Yeah, he is a cuckoo." "Okay, that's the little song he does for you when he takes money from you when you try and cross the bridge." "Now, I actually think that Sprout listens to the show." "You think that what?" "I think that Sprout listens to the show." "Oh, really? Why do you talk right now?" "S Sprout, go fuck yourself, okay, moving on." "The Taylor's not bitter." "No, right?" "I made it clear from the very beginning, I never liked him. I always thought he was very bad for Rodan and Rodan could do better. And from the sounds of what the little bit I know about the date, it sounds like Rodan has started to do better." "Yes, and this is probably actually the best date I've had in close to eight, nine years. I mean it was- "Hmmm, in between that time, won't you get somebody?" "Well, yeah, yeah, absolutely. So what happened is he came over from Bozier, which is like 75 minutes away. Unfortunately, it took him like two and a half hours to make that 75-minute drive. So I felt bad because it was snowing and sleeting in Bozier, which, to me, makes me want to say Bossier because it's B-O-S-S-I-E-R, but- "Bozier sounds like an ass-raping waiting to happen." "Oh my God." "It's just like it's-" "It's like it's-" "If Rodan's lucky." "I'm going to Bozier, y'all, this week." "I think Bozier is like an hour north where Britney grew up, but anyways, we're a no-Britney zone." "We're a no-Britney zone." "We're a Britney-free zone." "Thank you. Tailor, I bet you." "Oh, those are fighting words." "Those are fighting words." "I know." "So, he came over. We went to, uh, Madam, he's, uh, my height, which is very weird because most fags are short, like, five-nine." "And we have a title for episode 43. Most fags are short." "Well, they are. They're five-nine with an eight-inch cock and they're all bottoms. So that-" I mean, that's normally what I seem-" "Oh my God." "I'm not five-nine." "Take is really gay." "Well, I mean, okay. So I should say, fags or not bears are, like, five-nine." "Alright, that's two." "It's gonna be a long night for Rodan Kittens." "Oh, yeah, it is. Okay, so-" "Get onto the sex talk. Get onto the sex talk." "Oh, we went to Outback, we went to, uh, he's a-we went to Outback and then he tells me he's a vegetarian." "Oh." "Yeah. Thanks for that." "No, that's not a bad-oh. That's an interesting-oh." "It is an interesting-oh, but I took him to Outback so I kind of-" "I was gonna say, not if you're at Outback, yeah, that's not a good thing to start the date." "It's like after we sat down and had to-" "Well, did he tell you when you said you want to go to Outback? I'm a vegetarian or did he wait until you said he said he'd wait until he sat down?" "Well, I was trying to be all, like, gung-ho, so I didn't necessarily ask for permission to take him to Outback." "So you took him to the fanciest place in town, which is Outback?" "No, there was another restaurant-my heart's breaking right now for you." "There's another fanciest restaurant, but I didn't want to, like, go there for a first day because I thought that would be a little too weird." "Before we get our bloomin' onion, can I see a wine list, please?" "We didn't get a bloomin' onion, but-oh my god." "Yeah, and then we went to a go-see movie, which unfortunately did not see Cloverfield because it was sold out from ten o'clock Friday morning." "Uh, yeah, Saturday we tried to see it sold out everywhere." "Yeah, those bitches." "Which is weird, 'cause it only made 41 million." "I know." "Then the 41 million came from Monroe and from Tampa, St. Pete and Clearwater." "No, but I mean, like, you know, when you see-like, I tried to get into seeing movies like, you know, Spider-Man 3 and all that sort of stuff on opening weekend and never seemed to have a problem, and that's-they have, like, much bigger openings. So it's just-it must have opened on less screens?" "Yes, but many fewer screens than like a Spider-Man or a big summer movie. But so we'll end up going seeing Juno, which is an odd first date movie, 'cause Juno is a really funny, wonderful, but it's all like that awkwardness relationship thing, so it was weird." "You had on your cherry underpants, didn't you?" "I'm sorry, what?" "Oh, hahahaha." "She wears in the beginning of the movie when she first has sex. She takes off her cherry underpants that have cherries on them." "Okay." "Are you ready for this?" "What?" "Both of my daughters have underpants that have cherries on them." "Well, then I guess both of your daughters are pregnant." "Thank you." "Nice. Nice tailor." "I'll get a good parking space in them all, so I'll die." "Are you my dad who had a heart attack five years ago and still uses handicapped parking things?" "So then I feel bad when I'm with him and he parks handicapped, so I limp to whatever store that we're going into, so it looks like one of us is sick." "God, you're my mother." "Now I stopped parking in the handicapped parking spots when I was still using crutches, but anyway." "Okay, so-" "Anyway, I'm sorry, we've interrupted you like nine times you're trying to tell the story." "We're not doing it in a, and we finally reached Minneapolis sort of way, so please continue with your story." "No, so we went to go see Juno, it was great, loved it, he seemed to be appreciative of it. He's very into music, and so he hated the music that was in Juno, 'cause it's very whiny, weird, poppy stuff." "It's complaint rock." "Yeah. I think it's like complaint pop, 'cause it doesn't even quite qualify as rock." "I like the music in it, but it's very much complaint rock." "It's kind of like the music from Napoleon Dynamite, though, kind of that whole kind of odd, but not really odd, but sort of odd." "It's very quirky, kind of folky sort of where they, you know, it's very, lots of pop cultural references in the music, you know, and all that sort of thing, so-" "So we end up, he's like, as we're leaving, the place is like, 'Well, where do you work?' And I said, 'Oh, I guess I can just show you.'" "Well, actually, before that, as we're leaving the movie theater, he kind of stood, like, I'm off to when he was walking down the stairs and turned at me, and he gave me that very much like, 'I'm gonna kiss you,' and then started moving. It was very weird, very awkward, I was like, 'Oh, okay, we're in Monroe, hello, Monroe.' But uh, we uh- "Were there other people in the movie theater?" "No, they'd already left." "So it was just the two of you in the movie theater?" "Just the two of us." "I should've gone for-" "Oh, yeah." "Well, that would've been nice, you should've gone for it." "Yeah." "So he wanted to see where I worked, so I showed him my building, and so I parked-" "The clan could've just waited to beach up in the parking lot." "True." "And of course, it was like 30 degrees out this whole time too, 'cause it's been like 30 degrees since Thursday, in Monroe." "I hate you." "I know, right?" "Today, at least today it's cold here, so that's good." "Yeah, so we saw my work, and then while we were looking at my office, I kissed him." "Yep." "Mm-hmm." "Yes, I know, right." "So you're showing him who's the boss by taking him to your office?" "I know, right? It's kind of weird, I was thinking-" "He's shooting light." "He's shooting light." "I'm gonna say you're Tony Danza." "I'd prefer to be Tony Danza." "Ladies and gentlemen, Tale of the Latte boy, Taffy Carla will have him to an Angela Bower." "Please tell me I'm going to wear a pastel shoulder pad, a shoulder pad of suits, and feather hair." "That's state." "That's state number two. By the way, they made a joke about her roots on ugly Betty the other day." "They didn't make a joke about Jesus Light's roots." "Yeah." "I still haven't watched ugly Betty yet." "Oh." "This is a good episode." "It's a great episode, anyway, so we made out in the car for like an hour and then we went to like half hour and then went to the gay bar where I got to show him the one room gay bar to which he was like, "Oh, great." "Oh." "Now when you say made out for an hour in the car, does that mean you gave him a handy or did you just kiss?" "No, we just kissed." "Can you just leave some things to the imagination?" "No." "Okay, carry on." "Okay, and so because it was snowing and sleeting and bozier, we decided that he would just stay the night and so we came home after the bar at like 2.30, came home, made out for a while and fell asleep, which apparently means that I fell asleep and snored while he blew you." "No, that'd be you." "No." "It's... Aww." "Aww." "Aww." "Aww." "Aww." "I... How dare you?" "That was a big umbrage." "So yeah, so it was a good date. He left at like 8 o'clock in the morning because he was going to Baton Rouge with his daddy. His actual father, not him." "That's not him." "That's not him." "He's got a... He's got a... He's got a daddy." "He's got a daddy." "I'm already." "And a boy on the side." "He's a lucky... Lucky boy." "So it was... Well, overall it was a good date. That was a good date." "That's good." "Were there plans to have a date number two?" "We have not made those plans yet, but I think that's a pretty much a given." "Like have you talked to him since Friday?" "Oh yeah, no, we've talked a couple of times." "Okay." "So no, I think this is definitely probably going to go somewhere, so I'm excited." "Now, does he know about the podcast?" "He has listened to like most of the episodes already." "Well, we like him already." "Yes, well we like him for no other reason because it's a listener added on to our, you know." "Yes." "Well, and he's already left with you. He was actually..." "I've seen his picture and he's very cute." "Yeah." "And he was actually a reviewer 69." "Hey." "And he thinks Taffy's black." "You know what they started at once?" "You know what they started at once?" "You don't like them. You never know black." "And he thinks Taffy's black." "The title for episode 43." "He came in and he was like, 'I need to see a picture of Taffy.' I'm like, 'Okay.' And I showed him my Christmas card for you Taffy. But he's like, 'She's white.'" "Okay." "Awesome!" "So, yeah." "Oh God." So we have a listener line now. "Woo hoo! Woo hoo! You're one of my copycats." "Yes." "And we have seven, our first seven listener voicemails." "Really?" "And I'm going to be interspersing them throughout the show so, you know, during between conversations and whatnot. And we started off the show with Mr. B telling some really corny jokes." "So, hello, Kevin." "And one that..." "Okay, we're going to talk about you and you're a boyfriend--" "You're back, Jordan Lover? What?" "Oh, my hard time, lover." "Thank you, Stevie Wonder. That's part time, lover, but--" "Hey guys, this is Peter from Atlanta, Georgia. I wanted to congratulate you on getting a listener line set up and also I wanted to ask whatever happened to the prod of my co-pilot project runway podcast because I missed them. There was one. It was fantastic. And then they were never heard from again. You guys totally came guns me." "Peter wants to know why-- unfortunately we don't have a way for Taffy and Rodan to hear the voicemails until they actually are listening to the podcast themselves." "Actually, we do, but Taylor's such a control freak, it won't let us hear them, but that's okay." "Did he just hit you?" "Again, yes." "I asked you each three times if you wanted me to send you the voicemails and you both said no. That's not true. That's not true. Below me. Yeah, that's not true. That's not true at all. Anyway. "Did you say below me?" "Yes, below me." "Someone call for help?" "I am going to punch you in the ovaries if you don't knock it off, Rodan." "I'll never have my chance." "Hey, Peter, cute Peter from Atlanta." "Who is very cute and I was poking around on it." "We have a lot of really attractive listeners. Tell me about it." "You have a lot of attractive hosts." "Well, of course." "And Rodan." "You bitch." "Which is why he's dating and I'm single, sitting in pajama pants and drinking chai tea on a Saturday night or a Sunday night. Anyway, he wants to know why we stopped doing the Project Runway things after one show." "Yeah, that's a good question. Why did you guys stop doing that?" "Well, we didn't have a lot of downloads on them if I remember correctly." "Yeah. We didn't have a whole lot of downloads. It's actually one of our lower, not rated, but I mean, our numbers are a lot lower on that one. And also, we just kind of, I mean, we tried to do the second one on the way to go Christmas shopping the night after Thanksgiving and we lost the whole episode and it kind of lost momentum from there. So, that's sort of the reason why I see no reason why we can't try it again if you want to be happy or if you want to wait or if you want to do..." "If Peter Wands Project Runway podcasts, I think he needs to blow us. Him and his partner, you just come to Monroe in St. Pete and blow us." "Actually, I think that's appropriate to tell our listeners to suck our dicks in order to get podcasts." "Call me crazy, but I think Emily Post wrote something about this and she said it's not appropriate to ask the listeners to suck our dicks." "Really?" "I think what Peter Wands Peter gets, so we should certainly try and accommodate." "Okay. We will do everything we can to try and tape something for the episode that's coming out on Wednesday. I will say this, very sad that Kevin is gone." "Where is Kevin?" "That means nothing to me." Kevin is the guy with the beard, the straight guy, two episodes ago, the little Italian guy with the big nose with the prawn dress episode, "Have you been watching the show at all this season? What do you mean, is he gone?" "Of course, I've been watching this show. I know exactly what you're talking about." "No, you don't. You are frantically looking at Bravo TV documents when you're talking about..." "Didn't you just get done saying you like Sweet Pea stuff?" "I did like the dress she made on last week's episode, but overall, I don't really care for her stuff. I think Rummy has to go away really quick because he's just creepy. I don't understand the whole appeal of him. I will say that the black jacket had to be the coolest thing I think anyone's ever made on that show. The black jacket was amazing." "No question." "In fact, speaking of Project Runway, tonight we were at a big mall that's close to us and we were in the gallery and my daughter bought a numbered signed piece of by Robert Best who was on, I think, last season who worked for Mattel who did the bar because and it's one of his sketches of one of his Barbie outfits and she's in a French-made outfit." "Oh." "It's actually a really, really cool picture." "Cool." "No, yes. A Project Runway tie-in in the Huffington House." "Who?" "All right. Who do you think's going?" "I don't know yet who's going to win, but I think in the top three it's going to be..." "Christian." "Christian is going to, Christian is going to be in the top three. I think that Sweet Pea's going to be in the top three. I really think she's the, I think she's going to be the one flying under the radar all the time and then at the end all of a sudden she's just going to, you know, blow up." "I like the girl with the black curly hair, too. I don't remember her name, but I like her. I hate the one that looks like Vera Wang, though. She drives me crazy. She's so damn bitchy and the one that cries all the time." "Okay, just because she's Asian doesn't mean she looks like Vera Wang." "She does look like her right now. She does look like her. There's no question." "And the little racist." "A little Latino boy who cries all the time. He's got to go, too." "Ricky? Yeah, no. I want to punch Ricky in the throat. I just can't take him. I just absolutely can't take him. I don't know who the third person is going to be. I don't think Jillian's going to be able to make it. I think she's just, she gets too overwhelmed with time management and all that sort of stuff." "Yeah, but man, the stuff she, some of the stuff she makes is gorgeous." "Oh, yeah. But I don't know." "Even the outfit underneath the coat was awesome." "Yeah." "I don't know. What do you think of biggest, what is, now, according to you, watch Biggest Loser?" "Bored, bored, bored, bored, bored, bored, bored, bored, bored." "Nobody, do you watch Biggest Loser?" "No, I don't watch Biggest Loser or Project Runway." "They do watch The Amazing Race." "They were highlighted on Rainbow Bright's Christmas Special so of course you don't watch. But he's going to watch Cycle 10 on America's Next Top Model February 20th." "Yes, I will watch that one from the start with you guys." "I'm so excited." "Very good. That is actually something that we should do." "America's Next Top Model Podcast." "And do America's Next Top Model Podcast." "Yeah, because there's a lot of fun stuff. We could have a drinking game about Tyra Banks, I'm sure." "But every time she takes more than one second to say a word, we should have a shot." "Because you know the way she talks is, the next amazing one I'm going to tell is." "Well, every time they do the stereotypical thing on America's Next Top Model, we should do a shot or something. I mean, it's just the exact same thing every season. Every cycle." "Every cycle. You have the angry black girl. You have the stupid white girl. You have the girl that's tough, the girl who's suffered a major catastrophe in her life, the one who's trying to get her act together, the one who's married, period. That's every single cycle." "So, Ikea." "That's right. You guys went to Ikea. You bitches." "But me just, okay. Let me just tell you, we were there for about two and a half, three hours." "That's it?" "I could have been there for another five. The greatest place I've ever been in my entire life. And Kevin and Michael were so fortunate." "I was going to say with the greatest hosts." "Oh my God. They were so patient with me because I was like, there's no word to describe what the store is. It's fricking huge, first off. And there was 100 million people there because it was Saturday on a holiday weekend. But it was amazing and incredible and I bought all the furniture I wanted was unavailable, which was sad. But I brought home catalogs and we've already been online looking at all their stuff because it was just amazing. Absolutely amazing. So, yes, I would have went back today. Did you like it? I loved it. I thought it was, I thought there was very cool stuff at very, very inexpensive prices. I mean, like ridiculously, I'm like, okay, this is how much, you know? I got some cool red photo boxes that I put to get, you know, you have to put everything together, including the boxes and I put them together today while I was listening to foul monkeys, actually. So hello, Ricky and Herb. Oh my God, your instructions are so specific. This is Ricky calling from Lakeland, Florida and Herb, he's here too. And we're part of the foul monkey's crew, you know, the people that have like 40 reviews less than you, whatever, we're not bitter. We do know when the ice caps melt, St. Peter's Bird and Tampa will be gone and clear water. The Lakeland will still be here. Anyway, guys, just calling to say hey and hope everything is going good for you guys. And hopefully we can all get together soon and have a big central Florida listener party. That will be fun. Can't wait. I guess that's it for now, so great show. All your listeners, they should come to foul monkey's dot com. Yes, it's the shameless plug budget here, right? Taylor, Taffy and Rode and you want to say anything, Herb? What's that? Oh, yes, that is it. Let it people fight. Sometimes I put them in my little shell thing, the drum built in my living room. They do fit. I was going to put them in long ways, but then I like the little metal things that you write the thing down in the front. So they look a little odd sticking out, but I kind of like it. But I really like the red and I have some red things on that shelf, so it makes that stuff stand out. Now, did you get one for each hole? Possibly the gayest thing I think I've just said all episode, which side did you get one for each hole? I always do, sometimes he gets to for each hole. That's the gayest thing you've ever said. Did you have one? Speaking of one for each hole, Kevin and Michael were awesome. Always the quintessential hosts. They were awesome and we got to see Taffy got to meet Buddy, who I just love. He is the cutest puppy ever. Yeah, British John was not there, unfortunately, but hopefully we'll get to meet him next time. Although I did make the comment at one point, I felt like I was an Easter Island because Kevin is about 6 foot 3 and Michael is about 6 foot and Taylor is 6 foot and here I stand and I'm like... No, Michael's taller than me. I think Michael's 6 foot 3 and Kevin's 6 foot 4. I'm like, I feel so little and tiny and we... It was awesome. I really wanted them to pass me around for smokes, I'm damn it, they all liked it. That's fine. So there wasn't an Orgy and Ikea? Oh, there was a... Kevin and I were in bed together. I will say that. They're round the bed. Yeah, Michael and I come around a corner and they're both like laying on a bed. Like Katie Lang of the Miss Channeling video. All Kevin needed was a beehive and he went... We were in this big round bed of love, it was fabulous. Yeah, and it was just really nice to spend time with them and they're both so funny and we went to Cheesecake Factory afterwards and that's always a parade of pretty that goes walking past you while you're standing and waiting for your table so there was lots of fun to be had making fun of other people. At one point we were waiting to sit down and then after we sat down there was this little black boy who couldn't have been, what, three years old that kept staring at us. He was mesmerized by Taylor and he was actually a very cute little boy, he had the huge giant chocolate brown eyes with the big eyelashes but he didn't blink. He just kept staring at the other like, he was the most amazing thing he had ever seen. He was like, "It's a gang, a real life gang." The only thought going through his head, "Please don't eat me." So you have to tell the Bear Jesus story. Well okay. Because it involves Kevin and Michael as well. Yes, I was going to go into the segway. One of the things that happened yesterday was that I was beheld, not beheld. I was given a bestowed thank you. I was bestowed an artifact that is from the, "It's not us, it's you" podcast. Really? It is genius. It is when I was on with Venus and Nicole, got a couple of weeks ago, we were talking as we often do and I could have sworn I heard something about the words Jesus and Bear in the same sentence. So I asked, "Did you just say Jesus is a bear?" Well, they have giggled about that forever and they had a salt dough competition between the two of them and then they put the pictures up and you had to vote online as to who was the better one. Well Bear Jesus was created out of that and they have decided that Bear Jesus is going to go all over the globe and he's going to have his picture taken and he's going to go on all sorts of adventures. He went from Texas to Louisiana and then from Louisiana to Orlando where he went to Disney World and then from Disney World he came to St. Petersburg and he spent, Bear Jesus and I spent the day together and you can see all about my day with Bear Jesus at gobearjesus.blogspot.com. He's got his own, he has his own web page, I posted a couple of posts today, we went to the beach and watched the sunset and we played PlayStation 2 together, he met Otis and Rocco, Rocco tried to eat him, he got to go to Starbucks, he got to meet Mike Allstadt, he got to yell at the Easter Bunny, it's been a wonderful day. Do you know that Taylor sometimes refers to himself as Bear Jesus? No Mr. Allstadt. Oh yeah yeah. My favorite part of it. One of my favorite presents ever is my Mike Allstadt Jersey that Rodan got me. Aw. I still wear it, it's falling apart but I wear it every once in a while I wear it and it's very very comfortable because if I'm 200 pounds or 400 pounds it always fits, so nice. No I've never actually been 400 pounds by the way. When I was listening to the It's Not Us It's You podcast, last week when they were talking about Bear Jesus and then they did the little interspersal with Bear Jesus Wolf. I spit everywhere, it was a mess because- You know that's me. Is it really? Yes, that's my voice. I would have never guessed that because I was just like what the hell? So we're going to ask all of our listeners to please go to gobearjesus.blogspot.com. It's a very cute website and the bear is actually going to the Vatican in a couple of weeks. I know, I wanted to take it to Europe and unfortunately Bear Jesus's schedule is two full. Yes, yes Bear Jesus is going to be going someplace else. I do have to decorate his cigar box though with something that pretty much talks about Pot as my co-pilot or St. Pete and I'm not sure what I should put on the box. We love your fat. That's pretty good. Thank you. There you go. That's pretty good. Now what are you going to make for him? That's the surprise. You're going to have to wait and look on the okay, or not okay, so go bear jesus.blogspot.com. Gobearjesus.blogspot.com Gobearjesus.blogspot.com. Go bear jesus go. Sorry. Yeah, except Michael broke his head. What? Michael broke Bear jesus's head. Oh, I thought you said Michael broke his head. But he fixed it. He came to its rescue. And he did a really great job because today when I was on the beach and wandering around with him and everything, his head never came off. She doesn't like your pants. My pants don't come off nearly enough, thank you very much. I hate people here. Why do you hate people there? I just hate people. I shouldn't say I hate people here, but it's just, I don't know, they don't like the fatties in St. Pete. No, and that is something that's very nice about the Louisiana because pretty much everybody. Well, just everybody here is very bearish. Like all the straight guys are very bearish. So Taylor would be in Manju's heaven. Hello. Gross. No, it's just amazing how, I mean, I, I don't want to, I don't want to sound like I'm, you know, kicking myself while I'm down or anything, but I like to think I'm a kind of nice guy and. It's really kind of yeah, only kind of, and I just, it's amazing how people, they just sort of look at you and they're like, no, I don't want to talk to you. And I'm like, but you can at least get to know me or no, you know, so I don't, I don't know if that's the way it is everywhere, but I'm just kind of, I'm kind of in that I'm sort of sick of it. Yes. Sort of, sort of. But everybody lying is cute on our mic space. That's the biggest comment we get is how cute it is. Yeah. Well, and that's very nice and I, and I appreciate our listeners who say that, but I'm not trying to get into an island of our listeners pants. I'm like, Rodan, who apparently wants Peter to come down from Atlanta and blow us. Oh, yeah. Does Luke not listen to us? Okay, then Luke has a boyfriend of like three years and Luke is young enough to be my son. Do you know how old Rodan's little flavor of the week was? He is not a flavor of the week yet. I'm sorry. Again. How old is he? I was going to say that was a little rude. He's 25. Thank you. Yeah. But Rodan is younger than me. Well, yeah. How old are you? 32. Wow. Well, that's not too bad. I had to remember there for a second. I couldn't remember how old I was. I was like, I'm something. You're something? I'm 32. Yeah. That's not too bad. The glories of 1975. God. I don't know. I'm old. Sound. I'm just kind of. Yeah. And you are. I was looking at the Bear 411 website and there are a lot of cute bears in the St. Pete Tampa area. Yeah. The problem is they don't want to date Taylor apparently. Yeah. They don't know what they're missing. If you're a cute bear living in the St. Pete area, you don't have to be a bear. You can be a. Don't limit me. If you're a cute man willing to blow another man. Oh, God. If you need some Taylor man juice, call what 800. Jesus. Call our tip line. Call our tip line. You won't give you just the tip. He'll give you the whole thing. Well, he'll take the whole thing anyways. That's more like it. Hey. Hi. Hi. This is Bear Jesus. Woof. So, in non-gay sex related news, two of my favorite shows of all times had people die from them this week. Suzanne Plaschett of Newheart, and I love the Bob Newheart, and Sam the Butcher from the Brady Bunch, which quite frankly, I can't believe he was still alive because that was exactly one through my head. I was like, he's, I thought he died like 15 years ago. No, he died this week. But honestly, on the Brady Bunch, he looked like he was about 70. So, I was kind of-- That is the other thing that I thought. I was like, if he was 84, and that show was on, you know-- In the 1970s, so he was only like 50 something. Barely 50 something. And he was, oh, God. Those exact two thoughts went through my head too when I read that he died. Not everyone ages as well as we do. Well, that's a true-- that's a true-- that's a true idea to do. Have you looked in a merely-- you bitch. You know, maybe that's why I'm single. [LAUGHTER] Excuse me. So yes. OK. I was sad. Better because you always have the pneumonia. Shut up. OK. I did not get the memo that this was torment, Taylor Knight. Please send it to me next time so I can be prepared. OK, it's always episode torment. What was I thinking? Wait, so what other voicemails do we have that we need to respond to without actually listening to them? That was a shut up. Let's see. We have-- OK, we got emails from Mr. B, which we already played. And we have emails from-- We have an email from-- You're saying emails. Do you mean voicemails or emails? Yes, voicemails. We also have one from Mary in Vegas, who talks a little bit about one of her favorite movies, which is-- I'm part of my co-talent peoples. I'm so excited you have a look online. And I just have a little story to tell. I was at work on Friday when we were talking about movies. And I was thinking of this really obscure movie. I remember it because we were talking about the ugly duckling syndrome in school. And I'm like, there was a movie, where there was a girl. And she was really ugly. And then she heard her dad got a girlfriend or something. They were pretty. And Tony Danza was the dad. And then it then could help me. And I thought, I need Taylor. I'm happy here to help me. But thankfully, we used to have IMDB. And I looked it up. And it was she's out of control, made in 1989. And I was all excited. And thought, this would be perfect for them to talk about. Anyway, this is Mary. I'm off Vegas. And I'm addicted to the podcast. I love it. I love you guys. And it was good to come. Hi. What the hell is that? Yeah, and I think it's Amy Dole. You've never seen She's Out of Control? Amy Dole. Oh, I don't think so. With Matthew Perry, it's one of those horrible '80s movies that's too '97 at Walmart that you would scoop up like it was crack. [LAUGHTER] You know, the girl who's kind of a tomboy and then she's made beautiful. Her dad doesn't know how to handle it with Tony Danza. Yet another Tony Danza reference. And we also have one from Taffy. Taffy, you left a voicemail? I did. Yeah. We're Lee, Violet. And Judy are lonely. You need a hobby. You love you. Goodbye. She couldn't help herself. [LAUGHTER] And what did Ms. Taffy say? Ms. Taffy just made fun of the fact that I talked about 9 to 5 in the post when I talked about the email or the voicemail. God damn it, I keep saying now that's going to be something where I'm going to have to work on that. I think instead of the people 9 to 5, we're more like Alice Vera and Flo. But Alice Vera and Flo didn't answer the phone all the time. Whereas a 9 to 5, they always said, Judy Burnley, please hold. Judy Burnley, please hold. Judy Burnley. I think you should have put like a call center from India like a picture of all the people. God. [LAUGHTER] I think that would have been inappropriate, you know. Please to be calling, what is my co-pilot? How can I direct your call? I know when you call certain businesses and you know for fact it's bullshit. When you call Victoria's Secret, who by the way, their headquarters are in Ohio, you always get someone with a British accent. Thank you for calling. Yeah, OK. Yeah, that's India. Exactly. We also got a call from Cassie in Montana. It's about fucking time. This is Cassie in Montana. Hey, you guys find me to have voicemail. Now I can call you while I'm listening to the show and just leave comments like that instead of waiting and emailing. I'm so excited. Love you guys. Bye. Hi, Cassie. Hey, Cassie. I got to say, I'm a little upset that she didn't use the word fuck at all. [LAUGHTER] You just pointed us Cassie. When I hear, hey, it's Cassie from Montana. I'm like, yes, we're going to get at least one fuck at. Not get one fuck out of her because that sounds, you know, like I'm going to-- Bad. Again, Jody Foster on the pinball machine. But I-- she didn't say fuck. So Cassie, call back and use fuck as a noun, as a verb, and as an adjective. Cassie, we want you to be the Diane Keaton of Potter's Michael Bilets. Did you hear that she said fuck on Good Morning, America? Yes. Really? Yes, she did. Apparently, she said it on live TV. She said it to Diane's lawyer. Nice. Yeah, that's what I said. And we also got Nessa. Hi, Nessa. Hello. Yeah, so that's what we're very pleased about Nessa calling. Yay! Upon a sight, whole pilot has a listener line. I am so excited because now I can call and harass you guys instead of commenting on the blog every 10 seconds. Anyways, it's Nessa. And I don't know if it's how you were. I'm just telling me what to do. Anyways, I just wanted to call because I got excited because the other phone number, and I wanted to call and send some Nessa. That's it. Love you guys. Nessa was our very first message. Nessa called probably about a half an hour after I posted the word of voicemail. So that makes me love Nessa even more. If you want to leave us a voicemail, you can do so by calling us at 206-202-5165. That's also the number you give to find out how you can schedule your hot date with Taylor. Or how you can fly into Monroe and apparently below Rodan. Always taking appointments. Because Rodan is a giver. By the way, the MTV commercial that you posted. Oh, yeah. Did you ever go back and watch it again and get all of them? I think I got-- No, you didn't. I think I got most of them. Yeah, Goonie sent that to me. I was going to say, I got most of them. Well, we also have-- Taylor's done most of them. Get real. Well, you know. We did hear about a new one, though. No, well, you heard about a new one. They've been talking about it on QCast for a while now. Do you know what a Manhattan transfer is? No. Besides the boy from New York City? Yeah. Please tell them. Please educate the listeners. OK, a Manhattan transfer is apparently when you take a shit and then wrap it in Saran Wrap and freeze it, and after it's frozen, you fuck somebody with it. Oh. Oh, wow. Thank you. And when Rodan says, oh, that's him saying, oh, that takes me back. Just off of here. 1993. When Michael told us this in the car, I couldn't actually talk for a second. It was like, oh, and then I thought, oh, oh, that's just-- Yeah. Yeah. That definitely deserves a gay gasp. It's like, oh, I wonder if John has ever done that. Oh. All right, no, I-- OK, no, I don't want to-- no, no, no. Don't put that image in bed. Yeah. OK, iTunes reviews. We had 72, right? We are at 72. Yay! Congratulations. I put up a challenge to the listeners to get us up to 75 by the nighttime we taped tonight. And there would have been a picture of Taffy's breast and this is clothed on the blog. Well, see, that was the problem right there. Who wants to see Taffy's tatas clothed? We want to see Taffy's tatas. Are you willing to show cleavage not closed? OK. And it's ample cleavage, I can assure you. Yes, I've seen. Is that an ample that once was? But it is still fairly ample. Yeah, do we want to extend the challenge to the end of the week? I think so. Friday night? Well, I think that's up to the girls. You mean Taffy's fun bags? The ultimate weapon in Cheekest. All right, let's put this microphone. Cheekest is catching up. They're up to, like, 44. And we have to stay number one. Because we can't allow. It's all I have, the show. I can't allow this. That's all I have. Why don't you quit the show? I can't quit the show, it's all I know, the show. Without the show, I have no-- We need to take Crow over the bridge. Ow, it's a crutch. That was a show, I have nothing. Oh, I love soap dish. Give them my best in pyramas. [LAUGHTER] I was in hell. Can sign there by you. [LAUGHTER] From Sayaas. Long Island. Hello. Hello. That's great. One of my favorite movies of all time. So anyway, all right, we will-- We're going to have to do a special podcast that is the hottest by co-pilot favorites, where we only have like our favorite movies, our favorite TV shows, and favorite music. We'd be like Oprah. Oh, Jesus. It's our favorite movie. Only we're not giving everybody a copy of soap dish. Oh, please. Our audience is mostly gay. They already all own it. And if they're not-- Anyway, anyway, we will extend to the contest till next Sunday. If we get 75 Tappy's Fun Bags, we'll leave the podcast art for 43, for the 4. So in other words, we'll be passing or passing Tappy around to iTunes. If we don't get to 70-- No. OK, if we get to 75, we'll do Tappy's Cleavage. If we get to 80, we'll do my Cleavage. [LAUGHTER] Oh, Jesus. [LAUGHTER] Nice. And not as ball cleavage. We'll guarantee we will stay at 72. [LAUGHTER] Yeah, so you just guaranteed we would have nothing. We'll never get above 72 reviews. So 75 people, come on. Make it happen. Make it happen. It's only-- Make it happen. --we get more of you guys have to just go to iTunes, log in, and leave us five stars. That's all you have to do. Yeah. And say, Rodan is the best in bed. Why would you want to-- why would you want them to lie? Why? Well, yeah. [SIGHS] You can also send us emails. We will be doing a listener question, air show in the near future. And we have a bunch of the questions from when we first started. Pot is my co-pilot almost a year ago. Do you realize we almost-- I've done this for a year. That is insane. I think we should have a one-year anniversary party. Really? Do you think we should celebrate our one-year anniversary? Shocking. Is that kind of like the way I said to you yesterday in the car? I think we should focus on our one-year anniversary. What? What? We're going to have a one-year anniversary, really. We are going to do something special for our one-year anniversary show. I'm not sure what it is yet, but we are going to do something. That's coming up, actually, in the beginning of March. So we would love to have questions from you guys. And if you want to wish us congratulations, you can do that. You can leave them on our voicemail. And just all sorts of fun stuff like that. So please do so. As always, you can email us at pot is my co-pilot@gmail.com. Or you can go to our blog, which is pot is my co-pilot.com. Also, you can go to gobearjesus.blogspot.com. You can call our listener line, which is 2-something. 206, 202, 5165. I don't know that one yet. I'm sort of learning it. I always get the 206 and the 202 mixed up. But it's 206, 202, 5165. Be our friend at myspace.com/pot is my co-pilot. Or go to our Facebook, friends, blog, thing, group, whatever is called. OK, so I love pot is my co-pilot. I'm getting tired. So that's why I'm sort of finning wrapping up the show. You're tired. I did 90 minutes of cardio today, plus muscles. You did 90 minutes of cardio. I played Ultimate Alliance for four hours. Oh, my gosh. You must be physically exhausted. I am. I'm spent. You two are on this. Yeah, we are, aren't we? Yeah. All right, well, once again, half hour show, and it's 44 minutes. Thank you guys very much for downloading episode 43 of pot is my co-pilot. This is Taylor. And Taffy. And don't forget to leave your-- And apparently not, Rodan. And don't forget to leave your suggestions to help Taylor's sex life on the voicemail. And this is Rodan. But you're going to say, and don't forget to leave a way that you can come down and blow me. I thought that's what you were going to say. No, I'm more concerned about your sexual being than mine right now. Two words, x-tube. I'm fine, trust me, I'm OK. So all right. Oh, x-tube, that's a good idea. OK, this is Taylor. And Tammy. And Rodan. Gotta go. Bye. [LAUGHTER] [MUSIC PLAYING] All the way, the other thing I wanted to give you is my favorite recipe for chocolate chip cookies. Because you said, give us a recipe. And even though you're joking, I am going to punish you and tell you that you should never, ever leave things like that death because someone might do them. So first thing to do is preheat the oven to 375 degrees. Then you take 18 tablespoons of all-purpose flour, which is one cup plus two tablespoons. I'm tired of looking that up. And a half teaspoon baking soda, mix them together. And then you take a stick of unsalted butter, a half cup of sugar, a half cup of brown sugar, get butter softened, mix them together in a bowl, add to the butter, sugar, mac, pure, a large egg, quarter teaspoon of salt, and one half teaspoons of vanilla. I usually add a tablespoon because I really like vanilla. Then you slowly pour the soda and flour mixture into the butter and the egg and salt and sugar mixture. And finally, you add one cup of something sweet chocolate chips. And you can add three-quarter cups of chopped walnuts, but I never do because I don't like nuts in my cookies. I don't think many people do. And if they do, well, they're kinky. Finally, you go ahead and dollop them out and heaping teaspoonfuls on to a baking sheet. They can one at a time for about eight to 10 minutes. And you want to turn the tray in the middle of cooking. Maybe someday I'll bake some of these for you and send them to you, but we'll see. Otherwise, I hope you have a wonderful week. And thanks for staying up the listening line. Talk to you later. Bye. [ Silence ]