(upbeat music) Happy holidays from Pot As My Co-Pilot with Taylor the Latte Boy. Happy Carlisle, Huffington, and Rodanne. (upbeat music) - Hey everybody, it's Taylor the Latte Boy and welcome to episode 38 of Pot As My Co-Pilot. I am joined as always by Taffy Carlisle Huffington. - Hello children. - And Rodanne. - Hello, how's everyone doing? - Now, before, I'm sorry, you can go ahead and say how you do everybody doing. (laughing) How's everybody doing? - Okay. - Before we-- - Before we-- - We're tripping over each other. (laughing) - Yeah, before we get started, I think we need to have a little intervention with a co-host. - Uh-oh. - Um, Rodanne. - Yes. - I called you an hour ago, didn't I? - Yes. - And I called you to make sure that you could tape the podcast tonight, correct? (laughing) - Yes. - What did you tell me you were doing when I called you? (laughing) - I said, I'm watching, I love New York. - Oh my God. (laughing) - Two. (laughing) - Do you realize how many sad things there are about what you just started? (laughing) - I can't help it, Chuck wasn't on, so-- - Watch wasn't on? - Chuck, but it's even worse because I actually asked Tivo to Tivo it for me last night. (laughing) - Did Tivo, I love New York? - It did, and it gave me a little bit of trouble. It was like, bitch, please. (laughing) - And that wasn't, you realizing that that was God's way of telling you not to kill brain cells watching that show? - I don't think you're going to be allowed to play with Taylor anymore. - Yeah. - That's a tragedy. - And I normally hate reality shows, and I normally hate dating reality shows, and I hate, I love New York, I just, I hate New York, but I like one of the guys, it's kind of cute. - There are four million other cute guys on other television shows that you get to sit and watch and pleasure yourself to. - Speaking of which, I set my Tivo to record 30 Rock, just for you. - Oh, thank you, I love the 30 Rock. - I figured, Alec Baldwin, how can I be wrong? So yes, I did, I set it to record, I set it to day, so I would not forget this Thursday, eight o'clock, NBC. - Is it, say it's a new episode, or is it? - Yes, it does, it's a new episode. And it's right, it followed right behind the Saturday Night Live Greatest Christmas Skits. - Oh, cool. - Yes. - Very cool. - Yum. - There are greatest Saturday Night Live Christmas Skits. Besides the, oh, Dan Aykroyd. - There's millions of them. - There are millions of them. The one that I remember the most is Gumbi's Christmas Special, it's Christmas Dammit. (laughing) - With Julie Louis Dreyfus, and I forget who the guy was, being Donnie and Marie, singing the Christmas song, and then stopping the middle of it, and starting to make out. - Or the Sweeney Sisters. - Oh, I remember that. - Rang, Rang, Rang goes the trolley. - Now, I like the one where John Lovitz was the Hanukkah fairy. (laughing) - I don't think I've ever seen that one. - Oh, my, that's fabulous. And David Spade and Victoria Jackson are the kids waiting for Santa Claus. Yeah, you're going back to like the early, early 90s there. Before we get too deep in this though, you and I have some major kudos. We need to send thank yous and accolades. - Chocolate bars? - Yes, chocolate bars that have been frozen and stuck places. (laughing) - Oh, okay now. - Yeah, that was a story that we heard about. Yeah, we want to say definitely a thank you to Mr. Michael and Mr. Kevin of the QCast Connections who played with us at Disney's Animal Kingdom yesterday. - As well as a listener. - I was getting ready to say, and not only did we get to have fun with Kevin and Michael, but we also met Jason, one of our listeners who lives in the Orlando area. And we had a blast. They were amazing. I think I have been, you know, usurped by Mr. B as Taffy's new boyfriend. - Mr. B's body is banging hot. - Really? (laughing) - Yeah. - Wow, nice. - I know he just tell you something. If his body wasn't banging hot, his voice pretty dreamy. He is incredible. - You're thinking about Michael, but okay. What did I say? I said Michael. - No, you said Mr. B. Not that we don't love Mr. B. (laughing) - Now you're making Mr. B sound like a shmub. - Well, because she was talking about the voice, so that's why I said. - No, no, Mr. B, I think again, I know there's a part of my life when I should have been either an actual drag queen or a gay man. I'm a gay man trapped in a girl's body. I like having a girl's body, but I probably would have enjoyed being a gay man too, because let me tell you something. Oh my God, they are so much fun. Heaven is this, oh my God, he killed me. At one point, we were sitting in the Gary Deli ice cream shop and he told a story that made Taylor scream to the point where four tables turned and looked and maybe just put my head down on the table where I could not breathe. I was laughing so hard. He just was one of those things where I instantly, I instantly knew I enjoyed him very much. He was just what's hysterical. In fact, he and I walked around talking, I think more of the, Taylor and I did at some points. - Yeah. - He was very cool. - We walked into Animal Kingdom and he was already waiting for us by the front and I had met him before as I talked about a couple episodes ago and Taffy never had and I pointed him at it, I said that's him. So she screams, "Kevin is loud as she can through the park" and goes running up to him. - And by subtle but loving way. - Yeah and we rode Everest twice in a row, which Taffy probably shouldn't have because she was a little nauseous by the end of the second time. - And we rode it in the front, which by the way, the front I never done before in Everest, a little scarier. - Yeah. - Just a scotch scarier, yeah. - Yeah, when you go up to the part where the tracks are completely ripped apart. - And you can look over? - Yeah, no, no, no, no, no. - We were a little like. - We're not embracing that now, I don't know. - And we saw, we saw Finding Nemo. - And with absolutely all apologies to Mr. B because he of course is fabulous. Michael, he's banging, I'm telling ya. He's got an ass, he has got an ass that is like rock hard and the voice, he's freaking amazing, I'm telling you. I have told everyone today, run, run to The Nemo Show because you have, he's incredible. - Aw. - Yeah, he's incredible. - I discovered the problem with The Nemo Show today though. - What? - Okay. - And that would be that you cannot get the goddamn songs out of your head. (laughing) - Because dude, you traveled far. - Yeah, I downloaded the soundtrack last night when I got home. - And now you wanna kill yourself? - And now I wanna kill myself because I listened to it 19 times today. And just pretty much the song that Michael does and the go with the flow. Those are the two songs that I listen to the most 'cause those are my two favorite songs. - Yeah, go with the flow of the show. - Yeah, and I, it's bad. - Yes, except because we were at MGM, this is like literally seven hours after we saw the show and he would just look at me and go, fish aren't food. (laughing) Fish aren't food, I'm like, shut up. I need food, I need food. (laughing) - But no, they were wonderful and it was a lot of fun. I enjoyed them very much. I told them they had to come down and we'll be happy to entertain them. - Yeah, and Jason, very, very nice guy. We had a blast with Jason. I think he was a little scared of all of us. - Whoa, yeah. - 'Cause he can be kind of, you know, a little much just to begin. - Honestly, Rodan, he kind of looked a lot like you. - Yeah, he was attractive though. That was the only difference. - That's chill. (laughing) - You, bitches. - He looked just like you only attractive. - You, bitches. I was gonna say I felt bad that I couldn't be there, but now, maybe not so much. - You were kind of there in spirit at one point, Taffy. And I looked at each other and I was like, "Yeah, it's kind of like Rodan's here." (laughing) You know, with a cute guy. - Only better. - You know, who has a personality and can tell stories in two minutes. - Oh, bitches. (laughing) - So, no, he was great. - Join us next week with Taylor, Taffy, and Jason. (laughing) - The new Rodan, the new white meat. (laughing) - The other white meat. - After we went to Animal Kingdom, we went to downtown Disney and wandered around downtown Disney for a while. - And Michael, Michael graciously allowed us to abuse his employee discount, which was fabulous. - Yeah, and capital A abused, Taffy went crazy. (laughing) And then afterwards, as Taffy said, we went to MGM, where we tried to do rock and roller coaster and the ride closed down, and I guess it closed for the night because when we walked past it later, we didn't necessarily see anybody in that area. And then Taffy and I did the Tower of Terror together. - Oh. - Which, by the way, we both discovered, yeah. Our seat belts, not so great because my ass was like branches off the seat, every single drop. And I thought, well, God, maybe it's just me and I'm an idiot and didn't pull the little yellow strap on the left, and then when we stop, he looks to me and goes, were you like flying off the seat? I'm like, yeah, he's like, yeah, me too. And I'm like, okay, thank you. So hello, we are not small girls. If it's flying us up, imagine if you're a six-year-old. I don't think so. (laughing) This is not a good idea. - Well, you know those pesky six-year-olds. - We saw some pesky six-year-olds. - Yeah, we definitely did. Then after we did Tower of Terror, we did the Osborn family lights, which I have never seen before and was completely blown away. I took a million pictures and-- - Yeah, they're awesome. - It was just very like, ooh, and ah, and they have fake snow coming off all of the tops of the buildings and they sell hot chocolate and warm nuts and-- - John was there? - In search of care. - John was there? - Yeah, sorry. - In search of care. That's what I was gonna say. I figured somebody would jump in there. And it was just really great. And then we went to the prime time cafe. - Oh, I love the-- - Possibly one, you love that place? - I used to a long, long time ago. Possibly one of my all-time favorite Disney experiences that did not evolve a ride. - You never been there before? - No, I had never been there before. Okay, first of all, first of all, I'm not gonna tell how she did it, but Taffy is the master of getting us into places to eat dinner that we don't have reservations for. - Nice. - She has a system, I'm not gonna say what it is, and I swore Kevin and Michael to secrecy they're not gonna say what it is either, but we walked past people with reservations. I think we actually took people's reserved tables. - I will promise to only use my powers for good. - Yeah, and by good, she means for us. - Yeah, right, I need to be for me to that. - But I want it to be duly noted that when I use my powers for good, there is always a smile upon my face and a twinkle in my eye. I am never mean or hateful or anything like that, but I absolutely have the power of persuasion on my side. - Yeah, she definitely does. - She definitely does. - She definitely does a widow Carlisle. Do you know why she's a widow? - She crossed me. (laughing) - He had to go. - He had to go, that's right. - So we sit down at a table and our waiter comes over, or our cousin, I guess, 'cause they call you to your table by saying the last name and then going, "Dinner," and then that's how you know that you're supposed to get up to go to your table. And he comes and says, "How are you guys doing? "Duh, duh, duh, duh, can I get you anything to drink?" And then proceeds to say, "Have you washed your hands?" And we both went, "Hmm, no." And he was like, "Then everybody get up." And we both looked at each other and went, "Are you kidding?" And he goes, "No, come on. "You have to wash your hands before dinner." He walked us to the bathroom and made us wash our hands. - Nice. - And then he quizzed us. (laughing) - My color was a soap. (laughing) - So when we passed that test, then we were able to, you know, continue with dinner. - Although it said, "I kept getting in trouble "because my elbows are on the table." - Yeah. At one point, Taffy turns to a waitress walking past because I got pot roast and mashed potatoes with a little bit of vegetables on the side, which was really, really good. Taffy says, "Excuse me," to the waitress, and then she says, "He's not eating his vegetables." To which the waitress then looks at Taffy and says, "And you're taddling, what's the point?" (laughing) - Tattletail. - Tattletail, and then walks away. We watched her do this to like an eight year old kid at a table full of 15 people and made all the other people say, "Shame, shame, go away. "Now everyone knows your name." - Oh. (laughing) - Yeah. - Yeah, I have to get a job there. Yeah. - I watched the traumatization of a child. (laughing) - Then they took some father who apparently hadn't cleaned his plate and they took him. The waitress pulled his chair with him still in it all the way over to another table and parked him in front of it and said, "Yeah, you're no longer with that family. "You can sit with these guys." And he sat there for like, Tim is kind of looking around like, and finally he kind of picked up his chair and scooted back over there. But it was a riot. And you get to sit and watch like, "Oldie runs of Dick Van Dyke in the Mickey House Club," and, "Oh, it's awesome." - Yeah, it's really, really great. - We just kept sitting there thinking, "If we were really brother and sister, "this is what our lives would've been like." You know, if we were now currently 50. (laughing) It was awesome. - Yeah. And I had said to Taffy, you know, watching all of this, I can only imagine the number of people that purposely go there who have, you know, serious mommy issues. - Oh, yeah. - And then when I do the whole, you know, I've been a naughty boy and all that sort of creepy stuff. - Oh. - Because of course as a therapist, that's where my mind goes. - Yeah. I went there once when I was in high school, and then every other time I tried to go there, it was booked by very early in the morning. Very, very early. - Oh, no. The prime time cafe is one of those restaurants that book up months in advance, which is why we got in. - After three minutes of Taffy smiling at somebody. - Right. - Exactly. - I was doing the drive friendly, where you just stand there with this like, psychotic smile on your face and smiling, they just go, give her a fucking car to get her out of here. She's starting to scare the straight. (laughing) - You're starting to scare the straight. - Move her along. - Move her along, yeah. - Yeah. And, you know, it's amazing how that experience of where, you know, Taffy and I were both very afraid to like put our elbows on the table. And, you know, I feel like I have to eat my vegetables because, you know, somebody's gonna come and yell at me if I don't. And it was just, it was trippy, but it was awesome. - And I ended the night with a peanut butter and jelly milkshake. - Oh, interesting. - Yeah. - Oh my God. - So an hour into the drive home, he was like completely lethargic. (laughing) - I was slurring my words and foaming at the mouth. It was fabulous. - Nothing like, you know, diabetes coma on the way home. - When your day starts with an alcoholic beverage and ends with a peanut butter and jelly milkshake, how can it really be any better, honestly? - And you get to have the potential to throw up. - Yeah. - Unless you're being blown while drinking the milkshake, it really can't get any better than that. (laughing) - Well, that's what the listener was for. (laughing) - So are you all ready for Christmas? - No. (laughing) - Not at all. - Oh, hey. - Okay, you do realize that there's like 14 more days till Christmas. - That is more than enough time, Daffy. - Okay. - I'm almost done with Christmas shopping. As far as stuff that I can get down here, I have a couple of like small things to get. And, you know, like I have to go to a Hest, to get one of the Hest trucks. I have to go to a Hest gas station to get one of those. And for my nephew and, 'cause that's gonna be my thing every year until he turns 18, I'm gonna get him a Hest truck. I've already decided that. - So his mother will hate you? - No, she thinks it's a great idea. - Oh, that's good. - Yeah, he's a, that's, I got him, last year was his first Christmas. So I got him, I got him that. Actually last year was his second Christmas, 'cause he's born a couple of days before Christmas, but-- - They'll stop making him when he turns 17. And then that will-- - Thank you. - And then that will haunt Taylor for the rest of his life. - Yeah, exactly. - Okay, the idea of that now is already making him-- (laughing) - Yeah, what are you gonna do? - Yeah, well, so. But before Christmas, we also have somebody else's birthday that we have to celebrate. - Oh, yeah. - Rodin's birthday is tomorrow. - Tomorrow. - Are you prepared? - No. - And we have-- - How old are you gonna be? - Oh, 32. - Oh, please. - What, it is traumatic for me. Very, very traumatic. - Why? - It's worse than 31 or 30. It's just bizarre. Because, you know, strangely enough, 12/11 now signifies six months from when I came to Monroe. 'Cause my first day in Monroe was 6/11. - My birthday. - Sorry. - Oh, wow, I never realized that. You guys are exactly six months apart. - Mm-hmm. - Well, six months and 12 years. - Well, you. - Kiss my ass. (laughing) - Yeah, I got my first birthday card from Professor Dr. Scott, who's very nice. Who was kind of expecting me to blow him after he left a review on iTunes over the weekend. - And the problem with this is-- - Well, he's got a boyfriend. And I'm just kind of like, and it's just like this-- - And the problem with this is-- - He can tell his boyfriend to leave a review and you can get a two-for-one special. (laughing) - But he gave me-- - Happy birthday to me. It's a sword fight in my mouth. (laughing) - Episode 38 title, right there. (laughing) - My mouth. - Nice. So yeah, I went to, what do I do? I went to the bar this weekend and hung out with Mr. Blonde and one of his friends who he's convinced to start listening to the show. So then I get assaulted for the things I've said about Mr. Blonde on the show by his friend. - Mm-hmm. - And it was just one of those like, "Okay, Mrs. S, you can back down now. "Leave me alone, just keep feeding me drinks, please." (laughing) - Nice. That's classy. - Yeah, yeah, I realize that, yeah. Nice. - What do you hope to get for your birthday? - Laid. - That'd be so nice. - Okay, let him tell the joke. (laughing) - I could use with the getting a little laid myself, yes. I could use that 'cause it's been another week and a half, two weeks, whatever it's been since I was laid last. - Oh God, we're not gonna start the clock every time you go a day without getting laid, are we? - Well, maybe not. Maybe every time I go a month without getting laid, then I'll start the clock again. - That's fair, I guess. (laughing) - I don't know. I really should've just swallowed the cash and came down for our birthdays. It was just a mistake not to, and I feel bad for not getting that done. - Well, but you had mentioned that you may be down at the end of the month, so we might get to see you there. - Yes, but won't you be gone at the end of the month? - I should be back a couple of days after Christmas. - Oh, well good. - Yeah, no, 'cause my office shuts down completely from the Friday before Christmas until the Wednesday after New Years. - Do you not remember me talking with you about this yesterday? - Of course I do, but my brain just kept going to, how can I get Kevin to come down here and live for a week so I can have a pocket gate while you're gone? Because I'm gonna say something, the idea, you have to understand that in the last four days, Taylor and I have spent approximately 6,000 hours together so about the idea that he's going to leave me for a week, honestly, do you know who's more petrified about him leaving Tank? He's way more stressed about the fact that he's leaving. He's like, "Oh God!" - 'Cause then Tank's gonna have to suck some dick to make him you're gay. - That's the case that I'm staying. - I was like, "You'll never leave." No, I hate that you're going to be gone for a week but I'm glad you're going home and seeing all your family and you know, that's fine. We thought we were-- - Well, I'm glad one of us is. - We thought we were your family too, but apparently not, a little tears being shed. And by the way, speaking of tears, just for the record, I'm going to kill whoever sent us the video of the Marching Band story. Come on! - Okay, first of all, can I tell my story before you go into Stories 4, 5, and 6? - Yeah, right? My gosh, Taffy, you're like-- - I had a lead in there about a story about my family and you just-- - I'm keeping our-- - Wow! - Right over it. - I'm keeping our listeners on their toes. - That bus was going for Taylor. (laughing) - The Taffy Express. - Yeah, no, I am not even up in Philadelphia yet. My family is already driving me crazy. - Well-- - Like to the point of where I'm actually like, okay, how can I get out of going-- - Wait, did he pause for us to say something funny in my family's driving me crazy pause? - No, my family's not, my family's very nice to me. They're very loving and very supportive, but it's, my dad lives in Delaware, my mom and my sister live in New Jersey, and there is already the fighting over time over who gets me what days and how long they get me, and I want to go out to dinner this night, but you have to be here for your niece's Christmas pageant the next morning, and it's already stressing me out. - Oh, hold on, Christmas pageant as in John Benet Ramsey or Christmas pageant as in like she's a sheep in the activity scene. - I believe it is a sheep in the activity scene. - Because I'm thinking, yeah, that's gonna require some serious artwork if you are, she's going to be confident in family. - Oh, yeah, no, no, it isn't, you know, the Christmas story sort of thing where they, you know, she's sheep number four, so that sort of thing. So I just, you know, I purposely am driving up so that I have the freedom to go wherever I want to go, and that's a blessing and a curse, because now my family knows that they don't have to have the added strain of a ranging transportation for me to get to all these different places. - But then they're not in control over where you're going and when you're picked up. - Right. - So it's just this, well, when are you gonna be home and when are you gonna do this and when are you gonna do that? And it's already, I'm already tense about it. - You've just described every time our family goes back to Ohio, yeah, it's, well, you spent 4.6 hours longer with them than us, so you must love them more. Yeah, I don't play that game, but you're nice, I am. - I really think Taylor's driving, so that way he can make sure to get himself a Philadelphia trick before he leaves. - You know, I have thought about actually going on some of the sites and doing the whole, will be in Philadelphia, December, da, da, da, da, da, (laughs) but I would have no idea how I would explain that to my family. I'm going out for a while, I'll see y'all later and I don't know how I would do that. - You just tell them that you're gonna go to your friend's bicycle. - I have some last minute Christmas shopping to do. - I tell them the truth, I'm sorry, I have to go get this guy's cock in my mouth, I'll be back in an hour. (laughs) - Mom, I'm going to do a restaurant called Boo Cocky. (laughs) - It's a Japanese place. - It's a Japanese place, exactly. - They specialize in high protein. - Wow. - Oh, man. - Yeah, we had this conversation yesterday in the car. How many calories are in, what was it? - A tablespoon of sperm, yeah. - Well, it's like on the internet somewhere 'cause I saw it, not too long ago. - Right, but Taffy seems to think there's 1,400 calories in sperm. - I did, a tablespoon of sperm, I thought I read had 1,400 calories. - I think I'd rather have a Reese's Peep Buttercup. - If that was the case, that would explain my current weight. (laughs) - Nice to know that Taffy swallows. - People who would be lost in the woods would only need to shoot a load in their own mouth to survive, which granted kind of hot the idea of that. - Oh, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew. - Yeah, you know Rodan's tried. Shut up. (laughs) - No, I have never tried to sustain myself on my own spunk. - That is posted on X, whatever it's called, XTube. - XTube? Like you don't know the name of it. You're there all the time, you tell me yourself. - She's an XTube addict. - Rodan totally has me hooked to Hintai, I'm telling you right now. (laughs) - Which explains my current situation of, you know, like I have no laundry done because, you know, porn. (laughs) - Speaking of unfortunate addictions, I somehow managed to watch the entire season of America's Next Top Model cycle nine on Saturday. - Ah, was that the just lean one? - No, it was the most recent one. - Oh, okay, see, you're all caught up now. Until the finale. - Then you're gonna have to watch the finale Wednesday night. - I know. - Who do you think's gonna win? Who do you think's gonna win? - I like Solisha and I like the long haired blonde. I don't like the short haired blonde. - Yeah, we all hate Solisha just so you know. - Why? I love her. - I just hate Solisha. You, she's perky and she's cute. - I hate her haircut. - I doesn't say the haircut, I just can't get past it. - Now Rodan, has Solisha been your favorite all along? Or was there somebody that got voted off earlier that you liked better? - Let Lisa go. - No. - Oh, I did not like Lisa at all. - Oh God, I loved Lisa. - Which one was Lisa the tall one? - This one was the tall one. - The only time I ever thought Lisa looked good was in the video for Enrique Iglesias. And I thought she looked really good there and that was about it. - No, she had some really good pictures. The week that she got voted off, she had a great picture. - Yeah, I liked that. - That was when they did the commercial and then the picture. - I liked the plus size girl this time around. - I did too when they cut her hair. - Yeah, I like her hair. - And then she lost a ton of weight though. - Yeah, she did. I liked her and then I liked Solisha the whole time. I, those are my two favorites. - I have to tell you, I really liked the one who, I think her name was Brittany, the black girl that just got voted off last girl last week. I didn't like her, I thought Bianca, I thought she was nasty, but man, I thought she had a gorgeous face. When they cut all that hair off, she had a gorgeous face. I was glad she went home though. I didn't want her to win, but. - I've realized that America's Next Top Model is very much like classic real world. You know, it's very classic real world. You know, you kind of put these girls in the situation and then you just kind of watch them go, but it's always the exact same 13 stereotypes. - Oh yeah. - So there's the one that has the problem, the one that's been through, you know, a tragedy. The one who's the working mom? - The perky country girl. - Yeah. - The short red hair, they was having a pixie with red hair. - She was very pink, I loved her. - I liked her just finally changed her hair to black. I loved her, I thought she was great. Now, what I really did not like, 'cause this time it was on MTV versus VH1, which was annoying enough, but every commercial, they showed this real world commercial for real world Sydney, where the girls on top of the country guy and they're like, the condom broke. And she like, hikes up a little bit. She's like, oh shit, what are we gonna do now? - We really need to monitor your TV viewing. (laughs) - But okay, okay, I know, I don't like stuff. - I'm like the oldest person in the entire world who's watching, well not maybe, maybe not so much. - Except for Kurt Loder. - Yeah, who's watching MTV, America's Next Top Model, Cycle Nine, and... - I love New York. - And I love New York, but there, but it means they're showing 13 and 15 year olds are showing this girl on top of this guy going the condom broke. - Yeah. - Like she's on top of him, there's nothing else for anywhere to be. - It's like... - The question is, haven't they proven that they can stretch a condom over someone's head or something? - Oh yeah, but they'll break sometimes. - So she was on top of him? - Yeah, they were fucking on the back of a cheap. - But then the back of a cheap. - Shut up. (laughs) - In the back of a jeep. - Did the police come by? - When the cameras came up to her, was he still inside her? (laughs) - Jealous? - It was night vision. - I know. (laughs) - I know, I meant of me. - Oh. - Oh, well, oh yeah. (laughs) - Nice. There's a lot of tank love on this show. - Oh god. - There's a whole lot of tank love. There's a whole lot of tank to love. - Tank to love. - Yeah. - Thank you. - But I'm bummed. - By the way, I put all my balls on the tree, the big Mickey Mouse balls. (laughs) Actually, drum is over here, and he's sitting on top of the tree. (laughs) Yes, anyway. - I know your Mickey Mouse balls look. - They look fantastic. When we were up there yesterday, abusing Michael's, you know, employee discount. I bought, actually I bought three yesterday. I already had one, and they're about a foot wide, and they're pretty good size. And I have a fairly tall Christmas tree, and I put the-- - Fairly? - Yeah, it's obnoxious. But it's 18 foot tall. - How tall is your tree? - Okay, 18 foot tall. - What? - Yes, it's 18 foot tall. I know, it's wrong. - Like goodness. - And there are no empty spots on the tree. - Well, now there certainly isn't because of all the big Mickey Mouse balls that are on it. But I mean, it doesn't, it sounds like, I don't actually think it's cartoony. It doesn't look cartoony at all. It actually works really well, because of the scale of the tree. It works the big balls. They look appropriate on it. But back to two of them, 'cause you kind of get lost on it. - It's a Drum Riley Calhoun tree. - It's Drum Riley Christmas. - Oh, it kind of sounds like it's the Christmas tree at the mall. - It kind of looks like a Christmas tree at the mall, but it's also, but that's not to say that it looks, I mean, I'm just giving you my opinion, even though nobody asked for it. Her tree, it feels very warm, and very inviting to look at, because there's all sorts of personal ornaments, versus when you go to Macy's, or you go to Dillard's or something, and all the trees look exactly the same, and they have all of the ornaments that are the exact same distance apart and all that. I mean, we joke about how her tree is vulgar and everything, but it really is a beautiful tree. - Well, it's very much. Everything on the tree is either things the girls have made, or things people have given me, or things like, I mean, Taylor has his pictures on her tree. I mean, there's just, all the whole tree is filled with stuff that I can, sometimes I just walk through the house and I'll stay in and look at all this stuff, 'cause all of us decorate it, I forget who put what, where, and it's a lot to look at. But it was since my own fault, when we bought this house, there's one room in the house that has 20 foot ceilings, and I decided I needed to have the tallest Christmas tree I could buy. So I bought the house in September, and the next day after the closing, I went and I said, "What's the biggest Christmas tree you can order?" And they said, "Well, we order it." This is like a builder's square, someplace home. "Do you even have builder's square home depot?" I don't know. And I said, "What's the biggest tree I can order?" And he said, "Well, we have 18 feet ones, but we usually order them for like bank lobbies." I'm like, "That's fine, sign me up." (laughing) So, of course, when this thing comes in and a flatbed truck delivers it, and there's a big thing on the side of it, it says team lift, not two people lift, team lift, and it takes four men to bring the box in, yeah. And Tank's just looking at me and he's like, "You've got to be fucking kidding me." And I'm like, "No, it's awesome, it's gonna be fantastic." Well, I was only thinking of the 18 foot part. I wasn't thinking of the nine foot in diameter on the bottom. - Oh my goodness. Thank you. So when you walk into the front door of the house, there's a four-year, but then after the four-year, the first nine feet out from the wall is all tree. We have to move furniture to accommodate for this thing. It's ridiculous. - Well, you know, they say it's not the length, it's the width. (laughing) - Can I get a Hallelujah anonaman? Ooh. Yes, but in this case, the width works well. - Don't the pines hurt your pussy? (laughing) - Ew. - I was gonna say, would that be true? - Actually, they kind of tickle it. (laughing) - Oh. - If you just-- - How much of the 18 foot tree can you get in your-- - My name is not John Goodman for Christ sakes. - Oh. - No, I didn't say in your butt. I said, "I'm tickling her." - You know, I bet like, I bet that would work like one of those bottle dish soap things where they stick it in the, like the bottle and swish it around, pull it out. (laughing) - Oh my God, I have no idea what you're talking about. (laughing) - Rodan does, as long as you're gonna leave. (laughing) - Like a toilet, like a toilet cleaner. - Like a pipe brush. - Exactly. - Pipe cleaner. (laughing) - Oh my God, that's gross. - It comes out clean. - Your body started talking about sticking it up things. - It comes out clean and you're pine fresh. - Thank you, thank you. It's a dual purpose service. (laughing) Really, we may have just, we may have just started a new fetish. Pine-fisting. (laughing) (laughing) - It's pine-fisting, with Rodan. Collar, are you there? - Hey, hey, hey, hey. - He's already got enough on his plate, blowing all the people who have left us reviews on ice. - I know, my gosh, I got 50 cocks to blow. - And some vagina, apparently. - No, you have 53. - 53? - You have 53 genitals to be placed in your mouth at. (laughing) - What the hell? - What the hell? (laughing) - Never make that noise again on this podcast. (laughing) - Well, we do have 53 reviews. (laughing) - We do, and we have, stop it. And we have all of you definitely to thank for that. Thank you all so much. We are halfway up the third page for the featured comedy podcast for iTunes. (cheering) Now I wanna get to page two. - I know, right? - That's right, page two is our new goal. - Two, two, two. - Yeah, page two is our new goal. So please, if you have not left a review on iTunes, please, please, please do so. - Hey, I know that we are starting, we're getting ready to start wrapping this up, but I have a really quick story that has something to do with a Christmas tree that we were just talking about. There is an advertisement for a local jeweler's down here. I was telling Taylor about this. And the whole advertisement, it's one whole page in like the fine living magazine that's in our area. And it shows a picture of a ring, which is a pretty nice looking ring. And underneath it, the slogan is, "Even the tree will drop her skirt." - Oh, nice. - Yeah. - And they would never, ever, ever, ever say something like that here, ever. - Well, we can't believe that they've allowed it to one here. You go to hell here. - Yeah. So that's all. I just thought that that was really, really, you know, appropriate for the season. Even the angels will spread their legs. I feel like it was just ridiculous. - It did not say that. - No, but it did say, "The tree will drop her skirt." - Okay, I just did a spit take. Oh my God, I'm covered in like the carding now. What's up with that? - Oh God, he's drinking again while he's doing the podcast. (laughing) I'm telling you, you know what's gonna happen is we're going to do this one night. Apparently, I love New York, is not the only intervention that needs to be done with Rhode Island. - Jesus. - It's my birthday tomorrow. - Tomorrow. - I'm starting early, damn it. - Okay. - What are you doing tomorrow night? - I think I'm going to the gym and that's about it. Oh, I'm making the drag show, I'm not sure yet. But I have a drag show, not at a track, but at the bar. - You're performing in a drag show? - No. - On your birthday? - No. - So the bar has a drag show on Tuesday nights. The country bar has a drag show on Tuesday nights. I need to feel a way to put it together. - Taylor, Taylor, we should totally go to Monroe. - Mmm, no. - You know, you know it's both tragic and funny at the same time. - Much like your dating life. (laughing) - True that. - Says the man who hasn't had a date in months. (laughing) - He might not have had a date in months, but he's gotten laid, so. - Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey. - And anyway, Facebook accounts. (laughing) Yes, we have, the group is going really strong. We have 32 members of "Okay, So, I Love Pot as My Co-Pilot." And I mentioned on the blog that if you go to the group at Facebook, which is, as I said, "Okay, So, I Love Pot as My So-Clot," (groaning) "Okay, So, I Love Pot as My Co-Pilot." There may be a video from one of us, so you would get to see what "Tail of the Latte Boy" looks like. - Yeah, Professor Dr. Scott told me he saw the video and he was like, "That, I did not imagine "Tail of looking like that at all." - What did he think I would look like? - I don't know, I think he was thinking-- - Is that a good thing or a bad thing? - No, I think he was thinking you were gonna be like, "Roughton," because they were-- (laughing) - Well, wow! - Well, no, no, no, because-- - Hi, Dr. Scott. (laughing) - No, because they, they talk, I mean, we talk about how fat we all are. - Fat I am? (laughing) - No, how fat we all are. - Well, not taffy anymore, but, you know, on a regular basis. And then they're like, "Is Taylor really over 300 pounds?" I'm like, "Dude, I was over 300 pounds." I was like, "Oh my God." - Dude, I was close to 300 pounds, I mean, come on. (laughing) - Well, thank you, I guess, I don't know. - For the, for our listeners who don't know, Taylor, kind of hottie. And yesterday, Rodin, he wore a bowhawk all day long. It actually was really cute, until he got to back to our house and take make fun of it. (laughing) But it was, I liked it. - I could definitely tell Michael wanted to make fun of it. - Oh, I know. - And at one, 'cause at one point he sort of did that, you know, cute smile and was like, "So what's with the faux hawk?" (laughing) - Yeah, no. - Which, which is gay speak for it? You kind of look like a man. (laughing) - Well, because the youngen stopped wearing it about a year ago, unfortunately. 'Cause I think it's cute, I like the look. - I like the faux hawk, I think it's cute. I thought it was cute yesterday. - Well, I'm glad you enjoyed it, 'cause chances are you'll never see it again. - No, no, no, you have to wear it. If I come down after Christmas, you have to. - All right, okay, all right. If you come down, I will wear a faux hawk for 10 minutes, that's great. Okay, and I think that pretty much wraps it up. - I think so. - Join us next week for a very special Christmas episode. - No. - Apart from Co-Pilot. - Yes. - Well, we'll be one. - It won't be next week, it will be the week after. - We're taping it. - Smart ass. - It will be whenever I say it will be. - Oh, well, someone's feeling their balls today. - So you're going to be in charge of recording and scheduling and editing and posting? - Yeah, Kevin and I are very excited. - Excellent. - Hi, yeah. And I believe the end result was Michael and I just crossing our arms and going, okay, you wanna record a podcast, record a podcast? Because five minutes into it, they'll both go, I don't know what I'm doing. - Oh no, we can record the podcast, fine. After we were done, we were just looking at each other and go, now what do we do? We can record it, that would not be the problem. - Yes, we will be, this will probably be going out on December 12th, 11th or 12th, the 11th being Grand Ann's birthday or the day after. And then we're gonna be taking a small break. Just a week or two, the plan is that we're gonna record something special for all of our listeners for the holiday seasons. So look for the next episode of Pot is My Co-Pilot to come out probably right around Christmas. - And we can assure you, it will be kind of shocking stuff for years to come. - Which is December 25th for our Jewish listeners. - Not sure if you knew that. - Just some information to be educational this week. - Why go to Wikipedia when you have Pot is My Co-Pilot? (laughing) - Good lord. - All right, let's wrap this up. As always, you can go to our email, which is pot is my co-pilot@gmail.com. Actually, you can't go to our email. You can leave us an email at pot is our co-pilot@gmail.com. - Pot is our co-pilot. - Pot is my co-pilot. - I've been doing this so long that now I'm fucking get out. - Thank you. - Our email, pot is my co-pilot@gmail.com. Our blog, pot is my co-pilot.com. MySpace, mySpace.com/pot is my co-pilot, and be our friend on Facebook and join our group. Okay, so I love pot is my co-pilot at some long address that I have no idea what it is, but you can look for it. - And I apologize for not posting for like two weeks 'cause work has been held. - Well, Rodian, have a great birthday. Get drunk, get laid, have a wonderful time and think of us. - I know. - And I'll be sure to call you on your birthday. - Oh, I'll bet hurts that hurts. - Loser. - I know I am a loser. - Yeah, yeah, two days before I get a phone call from him. - Yeah, it was stressed. I was bad, I was stressed. I need to twink on my cock for my birthday. That's what I want. - Oh. (laughing) - Oh, that makes it all better then. - And with that, this is Taylor. - And Taffy. - And Rodian. Bye-bye everybody, have a good week. - Bye-bye guys. - I need a twink on my cock. It's my birthday. - Good. - Good. ♪ This year has been a little crazy for the emissions ♪ ♪ You may recall we had some trouble last year ♪ ♪ The robot council had us banish to an asteroid ♪ ♪ That hasn't undermined our holiday cheer ♪ ♪ We know it's almost Christmas ♪ ♪ By the marks we make of the wall ♪ ♪ That's our favorite time of year ♪ ♪ Merry Christmas ♪ ♪ From Chiron Beta Prime ♪ ♪ Where we're working in a mine ♪ ♪ For our robot overlords ♪ ♪ Did I say overlords? ♪ ♪ I'm then protectors ♪ ♪ Merry Christmas ♪ ♪ From Chiron Beta Prime ♪ (upbeat music) ♪ On every corner there's a giant metal Santa Claus ♪ ♪ Who watches over us with glowing red eyes ♪ ♪ They carry weapons and they know if you've been better good ♪ ♪ Not everybody's good but everyone tries ♪ ♪ And the rocks outside the airlock ♪ ♪ To the moon you sent it snow ♪ ♪ It's like the winter wonderland ♪ ♪ Merry Christmas ♪ ♪ From Chiron Beta Prime ♪ ♪ Where we're working in a mine ♪ ♪ For our robot overlords ♪ ♪ Did I say overlords? ♪ ♪ I'm then protectors ♪ ♪ Merry Christmas ♪ ♪ From Chiron Beta Prime ♪ (upbeat music) (upbeat music) ♪ That's all a family use it ♪ ♪ We're allowed to talk about ♪ ♪ We really hope you'll come and visit us soon ♪ ♪ I mean we're literally begging you to visit us ♪ ♪ And make it quick before they ♪ - Message redacted. ♪ Now it's time for Christmas dinner ♪ ♪ I think the robot sent us a pie ♪ ♪ You know I love my soil and green ♪ ♪ Merry Christmas ♪ ♪ From Chiron Beta Prime ♪ ♪ Where we're working in a mine ♪ ♪ For our robot overlords ♪ ♪ Did I say overlords? ♪ ♪ I'm then protectors ♪ ♪ Merry Christmas ♪ ♪ From Chiron Beta Prime ♪
