(upbeat music) You're listening to "Pod Is My Co-Pilot" with Taylor the Latte Boy, Taffy Carlisle Huffington, and Rodin. (upbeat music) - We know our numbers. (laughing) - I'm new to this too. (laughing) - Yeah. - Did you say three twice? - I think Rodin and I said it at the same time. - Okay, all right, 'cause I heard two voices and was very confused. - That's the one inside your head. - Ooh. - I like my voices in my head. - Taylor, you need to count us down into the show 'cause we're wasting all our funny. (laughing) - Okay, we don't cut funny, all right. - We're gonna be spent. (laughing) - And limping on the bed. - Oh, God. - In the wet spot. (laughing) - Oh. - That's gonna be the name of Rodin's autobiography. (laughing) In the wet spot by Rodin. - You know, you keep the stuff I may have to just, yeah. - Oh, oh. - Oh, geez. - Yeah. - You've done a podcast like that before. (laughing) - Sure you haven't. - Well, not with. - Not with us. - Yeah, not with girl parts fliling about. Oh, we gotta talk about that. - I'm a big fan of girl parts. - Oh. - You're a big fan of the girl parts? - I love female strippers. - Really? - Hello, Joe. - Okay, all right. - What do you know? (laughing) - Taffy's never met a girl. - All right. (laughing) - Strip around. - Oh, Lord. - Well, hi, everybody. We might as well just go right into the show rather than count it down. - Yeah. - So this is Tale of the Latte Boy and you are downloading episode 33 of Pod is My Co-Pilot. I am joined as always by Taffy Carlisle Huffington. - Hello, lovelies. - And Rodan. - Hello, boys. - And we have a special guest in the studio and by studio, I mean, we're all in our own houses. But a couple of weeks ago, we had a contest and this is our contest winner. He is known on the iTunes thing, whatever you wanna call it, boards, review things, whatever, as mumber, but we know him affectionately as Joe. - Hey, y'all, how you doing? - Or as I was calling him Jeff, a few minutes ago. - We won't go there, though, will we? - No, because, oh, the contest winner, what was your name again? - Yeah, great. - So, well, welcome to the show, Joe. - Thank you very much. - Great to be here. - Well, what do you wanna tell the world about yourself? Tell us a little bit about yourself. - Oh, geez. - Other than the fact that you apparently love strippers of the female. - And you love girl parts. - Well, yeah, the upper parts and can't stand male strippers. So I'm kind of, I know, I know. People just look at me weird. - No, no, no, Joe, I love women's strippers and I hate male strippers, too, so. - See, honey, I'm not insane. - Thank you. Male strippers are sad and scary. - Yes, very. - Where's girl strippers? You're cute and bouncy. - Well, they also know how to move sensually. - Oh, unlike the drone guys on top of the boxes at the bar, it's just kind of like, humping the pull of the box or whatever, just kind of like, just bouncing their heads to the music, trying to strip, yeah. - Exactly. - That was a voice of knowledge right there. - Yeah, you're thanks. - Rodan, do you want to tell our story about New Year's Eve? Have we told that story? - No, I don't think we did and I think we ran away from that whole situation and never discussed it ever again. - Oh, no, that's a definitely, that's a good story. - Yeah, yeah, it is. - Okay, all right, and we'll try and tell this as quickly as possible. And Rodan, if I screw up or something or you want to jump in, jump in at any time. New Year's Eve of last year, Rodan and I were both single and we decided, I went down to West Palm Beach to spend time with him and we decided that we were going to try and go out and have this big crazy night, New Year's Eve and it was just going to be all, you know, it wasn't going to be a party until one of us was, you know, had no pants on in the back of a squad car drunk and crying. So that was the plan. So-- - The good old days. - Yeah, the good old days. We decided that we were going to go to a bar down at West Palm Beach because apparently they were going to have porn stars there. - Yes. - Oh, God. - It was called Cupid. - Just Cupids, right. Neither one of us had ever been there and I couldn't tell you the last time I was in a strip bar ever. Actually, that's not true. It's probably been about 10 years. - When he worked at one. - Yes, yes. Yeah, the butt cheeks aren't as strong as they used to be. I can't pick up a dollar bill anymore. But I'm great with a roll of quarters. (laughing) - So-- - I think I just threw up a little bit in my mouth. - Yeah. So-- - Ooh. (laughing) - We are, we go out to dinner and we go to Cheesecake Factory and have a really nice time. Each of us gets, you know, a couple of drinks in us, just a-- - And the waiter was flirtatious. - The waiter was with-- - With you. - With you? - No, with me, oh, that's right. - Exclusively with you, he was all about you and wanting to be your-- - Easy. (laughing) - I'm trying to get the waiter set. He was all about being your kept man. - Well, Rodan, the man can't handle a roll of quarters, so I can understand that. - Exactly. - So, we are driving and we're driving and we're driving and then, you know, when I've got the address and we're looking for the address along this road on West Palm Beach and then suddenly we realize that the strip bar is in a strip mall. - Yes, like attached to an old Walmart kind of thing. - Yeah, so, and not only that, but it's towards the back of the strip mall. So, we pull into the parking lot and we realize it is in like the gross dark side that nobody can see what's going on and everything, so, and there's, we pull up into the parking lot and both of us are looking at each other like, do we really want to do this? And at this point now, it was probably about what, quarter to 11 when we got there? - Yeah, it was-- - And they were having, and they were having open bar until, I think, 11 o'clock. So we're like, okay, we'll each get a drink, whatever. We walk in and we're standing in line to get in and we're definitely the youngest people standing in line. - Oh yeah, by about a decade or two. - Yeah, and we keep sort of looking at each other and we're saying, you know, both of us don't want to be the one to pussy out, but we're both kind of looking at each other like, we should just go do something else. We should just be like, no, no, no, and eventually I said, it'll be good for a story, let's just go in. So we have to sign some like, log when we go in saying that Hong Kong, that's not what I meant. - So, like some big book saying why we were, you know, not why we were gonna be there, but what we were doing there. - What we had to get like, they said they were gonna breathalyze us before we left. Do you remember? - They did. - That was what we signed, saying that we would have to be breathalyzed. - They had the option of breathalyzing it. If you were visibly intoxicated on love. - Okay, oh, well, or come, but oh. - Oh, really? - So we get in, and the way it is set up is it is this big, huge room where there is a stage in the middle of the room where they have like lattices and palm trees, like ficus trees and all that sort of stuff, like all around the perimeter. And then there's this like sad, little like 19 year old, you know, Cuban boy that sort of just got his pants down or ran his ankles and he's just sort of playing with himself. Now, most of the guys that were short rolls. - He was rolling his quarters. - Yes, he was. - Yeah. - Oh, he was rolling with the hallway. - Yeah, thank you, Clueless reference. (laughing) So we are probably the ones who sort of take the average age of the customer of this place, with the two of us there, probably brought it down to about 86 years old. (laughing) - Oh yeah, no. - And the strippers that were there and the little people all wandering around, the average age, look wise of them, look to be about 14. - Oh yeah, I mean, the porn stars. - I can't believe that you stayed longer than 10 years ago. - No, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. So we are kind of just standing there and I go and get a drink for us and we're just sort of, you know, 'cause at this point, you're just sort of taking it all in, just how ridiculous it is. Oh, and they have a, when we first walked in, there was a drag queen and Rodan backed me up on this, had to have been what, about six foot five, six foot six. - Oh yeah, she made me look like a midget. - Yeah, and as wide as she was tall. (laughing) And this big blue feather shiny, oh God, it was horrible. So then eventually the owner of the place comes in, holding a little dog. Now, the whole place is doing this like, basso, oops, oops, oops, oops, and there's this little tiny dog just sort of aimlessly wandering through all these old men. - So of course, you're worried about the dog. - Yeah, that was the whole time I'm thinking that dog's hearing. You know, what is it doing to that hearing? I don't understand. - So we end up getting to a place where it is, the porn stars come out and they have three porn stars. The first one that comes out, I forget what his name was, but everybody that was there was really kind of twinkie and gross and all the little strippers. Well, this guy comes out and he's Mr. Muscle Guy and he's got the tattoos all on his back and everything. And I'm like, okay, this is kind of hot. Until he gets completely naked and then bends over and spreads his butt cheeks. - Ew, no. - Showing off, yeah, showing off the butt hole. - Which is, you know, like 75% of all the pictures on man. - Well, yeah, yeah. So I could have stayed at home and seen that, right? So he comes out and then guys are just sort of, you know, petting him and stuff and it's just, it's kind of gross. And then the next one comes out and the next trip for his name is Cash. Now I remember that because Cash is African American and has on a garter belt on his leg that actually says Cash across it with all of these fake dollar bill stuffed into it. Now, Cash, as I said, is African American and the celebrity he most resembles would be Steve Erkel. - Oh my God. - Oh my God. - Very skinny, very scrawny with glasses on. And he sort of does this, you know, I don't know what she would call it, but he pretty much broke the stereotypes that all black people have rhythm because he was just sort of flailing about on the stage. It was horrible. Finally, they bring out the third guy. And I don't remember what his name was, but he clearly had never stripped before because as he-- - His name was Rodan. - No, no, no, no, no. (laughing) Actually, I've seen Rodan dance that's not that far from the truth. - Bitch. - He comes out and is kind of doing like the white man's overbite, you know, with the, you know, biting on his bottom lip and he's kind of doing all these weird dances. And at one point, while getting undressed, knocks over one of the ficus trees. - Oh yeah, I forgot about that. - And then sort of does the whole, remember in "Dirty Dancing" when Jennifer Gray messes up at the recital and kind of does a thing where she takes her thumbs and sort of goes in opposite direction. He pretty much does something like that and starts to walk away and the big six foot five drag queen starts screaming into the microphone. Get back over there and pick up that goddamn ficus tree. So then now his pants down around his ankles, he has to shuffle across the stage and knocking over pillows and benches and all that sort of stuff. At this point, I turned to Rodan and said, I need you to do me a favor. And he said, what? - Kill me now. - No, and I said, if I dropped out of a heart attack in here, you need to drag my lifeless body out to the car, drive around for a while, and then pull over on the side of the road and call 911 because I don't want this to be the place that people think that I died. - Yeah, now at this point, the bad puppy porn star start, now there was those strippers and then there was like these little bad puppy just barely legal boys who were wandering around who were five foot four looked 12. I mean, it was-- - Yeah, all of them had like 26 inch wastes. - 26, I mean, please, they're probably like 19 inch wastes. I mean, there were 80 bitty and I'm thinking, oh my God. - And one of them kept coming up to Rodan and trying to start conversations with him and I was just like, no, we're good, thank you. And Rodan's like, bitty, it's nice. I'm like, he wants you to like buy him. - Well, and I'm thinking like, I'm thinking, well, the other crazy one I just had, he was really expensive. Maybe this one's a little bit cheaper. I was like, I'd trade in for a younger model. - At about, so at about 25 of 12, I turned to Rodan and said, I don't want to be here when the clock strikes midnight. This is not how I want to ring in 2007. So we were on 9.95 listening to Candyman by Christina Aguilera when the clock strikes midnight. - Which, okay, Taylor made me listen to Candyman like 10 times the two days he was down. I mean, like every time-- - At about 10, he means 40. - Oh my gosh, I have to listen to that CD sense. - And that's our stripper story. - Oh, it was horrible. It was definitely a New Year's Eve to remember in the sense that I have never been anywhere so grotesque in my entire life. 'Cause what he's forgetting, not only was the dog kind of like running around, but there was like little old men, you know, around with like their hands and their pants kind of thing. - Yeah, it was bad. - The walls were like red and I didn't go to the bathroom 'cause I was afraid so like when we left 'cause we didn't want to spend New Year's Eve in that establishment, Taylor had to go to the bathroom. It's like, I thought I was gonna explode. I had to pee, I didn't care, I just needed to leave. It was so bad. - Right now, Joe's killing himself, you realize this. - No, I'm just, I'm just-- - He's playing Russian blood with his hand. - I'm just sitting there going, that's exactly male strippers for you right there. - Yeah, I don't get that. - Girl strippers are hot. - Oh hell yeah. - It is the premier gay strip joint of South Florida. That's how scary that is too. - Oh, the place we went to? - The place we went to. - Oh God, thank God I'm in Colorado then. - Yeah. - Ew. - So what's the wet, what's the weather like in Colorado? Is it cold and it's snowing? Please tell us yes, we want to believe that. - I want to tell you no because it isn't. Rob and I just got back from the mountains. We spent the weekend at a bed in breakfast and it was-- - Yes, happy birthday by the way. - Oh thank you. - Yeah, happy birthday. - Thank you very much. - Today is 44. - Today is Joe's, oh I was going to say 26th birthday, but okay, 44. - I'm not ashamed. - I'm not ashamed. - No you shouldn't be ashamed, you know. - Where your age proudly? - Well, you know, when you look-- - Taffy sure does. - When you look this good, hunt half. - Hell yeah. - Yeah, boo yeah. - Yeah, not that I don't look 44 and I'm only 31, but you know. - Taffy looks all of her 52 years and she looks fabulous. - Fuck you. - So what is the temperature in Denver? - Oh, right now I couldn't say, but I know that it's got to be out in the 50s or 60s. It's very, very warm right now. - Well see, that's how it is here in Louisiana and I'm like frickin' freezing. - Now you boys need to understand that Friday night Taylor and I were at a football game and we were both almost giddy with just happiness because the thermometer had dropped below 80. - Oh yeah. - It has been disgusting here. And so Friday night it was like absolutely pleasant where there was a breeze and we were at a football game and we were like, I actually am enjoying this weather. Today, this morning we actually opened the windows up in the house because it was, you know, all of 71. So we're dying for some 50s or 60s. - It's beautiful out right now. It's, I took the dogs for a WA okay earlier and I was in shorts and a T-shirt and at one point I'm like, it's a little chilly. I mean-- - Okay, I won't tell you. Rob just told me it's 55 here. - Oh. - Nice. - Robin, Joe, come blow me. And by blow me, of course, I mean, eat me. - Oh, ooh, ew. - I know. - Good Lord. - Excuse me. - I think we have a love connection. - Join us next time on the Joe and Tappy show. (laughing) - I'll kind of link us all the time. - And you'll be tuning into X-Tube. (laughing) - I wanna kill Taylor and Rodan 'cause now they have introduced me to the world of X-Tube and I get nothing done. I've been there once, once in my entire life. - But you've never turned it off. (laughing) - Yeah, right. I have a whole computer, just dedicated to X-Tube. - Oh, that'd be so nice. I mean, yeah. (laughing) - Well, you can't go anywhere with Taylor now because if you go out to eat and a waiter comes up and he goes, "Oh my God, I've seen his dick." I said, "What?" He goes, "Oh, yeah." - That's in one place. I've seen the waiter's dick. Though, I will tell you, you know how you and I went to, what do we go, Longhorn on Friday? - Yeah, mm-hmm. - Yeah, I talked to the waiter on Bear 411. - Really? - How did you, oh, you did? - Yeah, that night, I was just, 'cause he was like, "Oh, I'm a server." And I said, "Where do you work?" And he goes, "I gave you your meal today." (laughing) And I was like, "What?" - Nice. - And he was just like, "Yeah." 'Cause he said, "Yeah, 'cause your french fries were really hot." 'Cause I bit one french fry. I was like, "Oh God, that's so hot." So I was completely freaked out. - Why? - So do we have a little love connection going with the Longhorn? - Yes. - He has a Longhorn. - Oh yeah, baby. - From your mouth to God's ears. Now he has a partner. - Oh, yeah. - And they were fighting. We were talking, so I was trying to get the moves in. - You know, the rainy night fling. You come over and do your raw and then... - Well, I don't... - Do you? - Do you raw? - Oh my God. - They make product for that. (laughing) - It's called an ointment. - One must be prepared. - Tiger ball. - So Joe, how long have you been in your relationship? You mentioned that you and your partner were up in the mountains. How long have you been in your relationship? - We celebrated a year on the 23rd. - Very nice. - How many years? - A year. - Oh, fabulous. - Congratulations. - So you're newlyweds. - Yes, yes, you could say that. You could say that. - How did you guys meet? - Your voice did the Taylor going up thing. What's the story there? - I'm sorry, what was that? - Your voice went up like three octaves when you said that. - Yeah, yeah, well this weekend started out to be just like I said, just a weekend in the mountains for the both of us and it ended up being our weekend instead of my birthday weekend. So that was awesome. But I think it all turned into a celebration of us being together for so long. - Aw. - Very nice. - That's great. - So what did you guys meet? - I found out. - Let me guess. He was a male stripper. (laughing) - You gave him a 20 and he was a female stripper and he's going through, you know, desserts. - He's transitioning through the change for me as we speak. (laughing) Actually. - By Rob, he means a Roberta. (laughing) - But we got a column by, you know, by by Rob, otherwise he gets upset. But no, I found out it was a year ago in August, I found out that I was positive. And I got involved with this website called Pause.com and they had a personal and I was like, yeah, what the hell, I'll just do a profile. And he was the first one to respond and we met shortly after that when we began together pretty much every since. - That's awesome. - That's cool. - Yeah, well, you know what I mean? - Love conquers all. - Exactly. I was like, oh, you know, if I had to become positive and meet the man of my dreams, I have absolutely no problems with that. - Aw. It's the great American love story. - There you go. (laughing) - Live on the marquee. Us. (laughing) - Have you lived in Colorado all your life? - I moved back here in '87. I was here, I was born here though. Left when I was four. I don't say, I heard that you were a bit of a military brat. - I'm an Air Force brat, yeah. - Wasn't that kind of awesome though, in a way? - Oh, it was great. The places that I've been, you know, I've been all over Asia, all over Asia. - What's your favorite place that you've been to? - I'd definitely have to say Okinawa. We lived there for three and a half years. - How old were you then? - Oh, just a little kid. 11 when we got there. We were there for three and a half years, so 15? - Well. - Where else did you live? - Oh, let's see. Mostly in the States, Rapid City, loved Rapid City, South Dakota, Rome, New York. That's where I graduated from high school as a matter of fact, and that's where I moved to, moved from back to here. And then Vegas and actually a small place called Indian Springs, which is about 75 miles northwest, a small air base, 200 people. I think now is a maximum security prison though. Oh my God. I don't know that I'd want to go back and see that, but you never know, you never know. - Well, Tank was in the army and I lived at Fort Hood, and then we moved to Germany. And I knew a lot of military kids, and I just think that, I think it depends on the kind of personality you are, but I think I, for me, it would have been fascinating. I just think it would have been to me. Of course, I like to move. I love to change houses and move, so I would have completely got into the whole military breath thing. - Yeah, definitely, definitely. It was awesome, absolutely awesome. I kind of miss it now. Rob does a lot of traveling for work, so he gets to do all that. - What does he do? - He's to do all that. He is actually a manager for a call center for what's called access to write here. - Isn't everyone working at a call center now? - Yeah, right. - Rodan. - I know. - Jesus. - We'll see I started a trend. - And NASA works in a call center as well. She talked about that on the blog. - And Joe, if you listen to our podcast, John Goodman works at a call center. - Oh, that's right. - Can you imagine answering that phone? - Hello. - Oh yeah, I hope you. - Yeah. (both laughing) - How many of my fine products? Yeah, that's disgusting. - Yeah, I'd like to put this on your charge card. - Oh God. - My old call. - So what do you do? - Right now I'm unemployed. I was laid off recently, so. - Oh. - What did you do before then? - IT, help desk stuff. - Oh yeah. - And I did that for Comcast, just read, oh crap. Taylor, I wasn't supposed to mention that, was I? No. (both laughing) - He can edit it, don't worry. - It's Comcast. - Just because Rodan has problems with the Comcast. - I did not have problems with the Comcast. They're very nice to me now that I wrote the COO. They're very, very nice to me. - Ooh. (both laughing) - They're very nice to me now that they put me on their list. - I'm on the list. (both laughing) - Be nice to him. - Free blow jobs with Showtime every month. (both laughing) - It's the Rodan special. - Well my old company. - Yeah, it works. - My old company actually opened two call centers in the Denver area doing Verizon wireless tech support. - Okay, okay. Yeah, see, I was, what I was doing with Comcast was their internal help desk. And that was kind of nice. I had that for a couple of months. So now I'm just gonna start doing the little job hunt and catching up on the podcasts I missed this last week. So. - What other podcast do you listen to? - Wait, wait, wait, wait. So you cheat on us with other podcasts? Poor. - You are my number one. (both laughing) - Wow. - That was the right thing to say. - Oh, now don't tease me, Joe. - I will take the goddess back and start calling you goddess Fag Hag. - Oh, goddess Fag Hag. That is my Indian name. (both laughing) goddess Fag Hag. I love that. - Well then, well then we're good to go. - Oh Lordy. - So who else do you cheat on us with? - Now you know-- - You are my number ones. My number ones. - Now you know, have you guys noticed our interview style here is very much interviews without lube. You guys, we fire off questions like her. - You're used without lube. - Fire off questions. - That's gonna be the name of my autobiography. Interviews Without Lube by Taffy. That's fabulous. - But I may still have enough leftover road down from the three rounds we went today. So we're good to go. - Oh, wow. - Oh wow. - He's not too raw yet. - That was good. - I just, well I did. - I think I love him. (both laughing) - Well it was a wonderful weekend. What can I say? - Well hey, I've been breakfasts up in the mountains. - Exactly. - You should be doing shit, damn. - Exactly. - I'm so horny. - Especially after only being together. (both laughing) - The dogs, he walks in the room, the dogs stop moving. - All right, that's. (both laughing) - Another pet-ish. It's another pet-ish on. - It's a pet-ish. We've discussed this, it's a pet-ish. - Oh, that's last week, you're absolutely right. - That's right. It's a carryover. Do you have any pets? Do you have any dogs? - Well you want to answer the first question about the podcast before we start hitting him with another question? - You sound like a holler monkey. - Did you like that? (both laughing) - I can't breathe. - Okay, let's sing. (both laughing) - Okay, let's sing. - I'll definitely compress that a little bit more. (both laughing) - So people aren't throwing off there. (both laughing) - I'm picturing a little like throwing papers up in the air. (both laughing) - What the hell was that? - Like Vera on the beginning of Alice every episode. (both laughing) - Those would be great Halloween costumes. Little could totally go as Vera. I could go as Flo. You could go as Mel. That's awesome. - Why do I have to be Mel? Why can't I be Alice? - He was. - 'Cause there's a new girl in town. - Girl, it's kind. Well, just as well. - And I'm feeling good. - I think you've released a melody. - Show, for God's sakes, will you answer the question? (both laughing) What podcast do you listen to? Jesus, we've asked you like five times. (both laughing) - Why are you avoiding the question? - I was just thinking about Tinkin and his horns and started getting horny again. But anyway. Let me tell you something. I've got some other pictures of Tink. I could post, trust me. - Ooh, whoa. - Whoa. - Yes, he then modified the outfits to create the 300 attire. Yeah, mm-hmm. Well, it was worth it. - Rodan was recently interviewed. I don't know by who, but he was recently interviewed. And it, that was. - Rodan was? - It was. - Yep, yep, and that's one of the other ones that I listened to. - The Ramble Redhead. - Ramble Redhead. - Did that episode come out already? - No, not yet, I don't think. - I saw Thursday night. - I think I remember seeing something about it, though. - Tom, Tom, yeah, who's puppy? - Yeah, that was mine. He's trying to get at the pillow that's on top of his kennel from inside the kennel. He doesn't quite understand the physics of it. - Aww. He's retarded. - He's a pillow-biter. - That is, it's like having-- (laughing) - Like father-like son. - I was just gonna say, like, by the way, like, see him. - He's retarded. It's like having your ex-boyfriend living with you again. - Oh. - Oh, no, no, no. (laughing) Also, Alex and Dean, I'll jump in right there. Alex and Dean, maybe not for much longer. They keep going down the dangerous roads that they've been going. - Uh-oh. - But that's really a Marin's, an American gay man living in New Zealand, which I think is just absolutely an amazing story with those two. Guy fell in love with the, Guy fell in love, moved to New Zealand to be with the love of his life. They've been together for 13 years. - That's awesome. - Yeah, that is awesome. So those, obviously, pot is my coal pot, it is number one. And there really is no, should be no other one out there. - Good answer. - Good answer. (laughing) - And now we don't have to edit you out. (laughing) - There might have been a whole lot of awkward violence. - Joe can stay. - Thank you. Let's see, two dogs came with Rob. - What kind of dogs? - They are husky mixes. - Really? - Oh. - Very nice. - Yeah, Jell-O, Jell-O, we think it's a husky lab mix. Mika, we can't tell, but she's, she's definitely got the husky in her. - And then, did you say Jell-O? Like, there's always room for her? (laughing) - I think he's a Jell-O, like the instrument. - Oh, I like Jell-O. - I like Jell-O better. - Oh, Jell-O? - Jell-O, we're Jell-O, like to go low. - Oh, oh. - I bet Jell likes to go low. He likes to get low. - Way low. (laughing) - That's just another pet-ish thing. And then I got my two little girls, my two cats, Lisa and Michelle. - Oh. - What, where do the names Lisa and Michelle come from? - They, actually, when I adopted them a couple of years ago, is my back today is there to your anniversary of being with. - Oh, well, happy. - Happy anniversary, Lisa and Michelle. - Exactly, my girls, I love them. Yeah, I adopted them from Table Mountain, and that's the names that they had with them. They were sisters, they've been together for three years at that point. I wasn't gonna change their names. - Aw, that's sweet. - So, yeah, that's where they come from. - Joseph's sensitive guy. - I know. - I know. (laughing) - Oh, good lord. (laughing) - Are you happy you made him cry? - Are you kidding? That's my goal at every podcast. (laughing) - No, it literally is me you try. - Get a host to cry. - Get a host to cry that you try and make cry. Yes, I do cry after. Usually when I'm trying to edit these. (laughing) - When I'm making my list in the morning, when I'm having my typical cereal of a bowl of puppies and, you know, strict nine, I always think, how can I make up host cry today? Usually it's Taylor, but today I reserved it for Joe. - Aw, so special. - Good times, good times. (laughing) - I feel so special, mom. - Well, you should. (laughing) - And that was Taylor's transition voice. That was Taylor's transition voice. Like we need to keep moving here, buddies. - Yeah, I'm, I'm, no, stop it. I will, I will smack you. - Stop it? - Stop it. This is a story that you wanted to tell. And I have to ask a question before it. I was going to ask how their Halloween's were if they dressed up. - No, I have a thing about people dressing up their pets. - No, no, I mean yourself. Did you yourself go to any Halloween parties? - No, we didn't. We stayed home and watched TV and did what we do best. And that's lots and lots of cuddling. - No, that's nice. Rodianne. - I went to the-- - Did you dress up? - I did not dress up, but I went to the gay bar, which was filled with lesbian's dresses, truckers. And-- - Oh. - Well, which actually-- - So it was a typical Saturday night? - Which was a typical Saturday night. And like 75% of the gay men were dressed as fairies or angels. - Oh. - They all had-- - So again, it was a typical Saturday night. - Right, they all had glitter and wings, which was a lot of fun. - Lots of fun. - We're losing our originality. - Yeah, a little bit. - We're losing our originality. - Well, Taylor came over and he helped us pass out Candy. And we have the world's greatest mom story. So Taylor, you must tell it. 'Cause it is one of those stories that when we tell it, I was so glad someone else heard it because I know people just look at me and go, those things always happen to her. I think she just makes that shit up. - No, no, this, okay. We were sitting out on Taffy's front porch and handing out Candy to all of the neighborhood kids and Taffy's mother-in-law. And Play-Doh, there was Play-Doh as well. And Taffy at one point, Taffy's mother-in-law was standing out with us. And this little girl who couldn't have been, if she was four, I would have been surprised. - Yeah, she was tiny. - Yeah, she's walking up the front step and I hear Taffy's mother-in-law say, well, now where's your, where's your jack-o-lantern? Where's, how are you gonna hold your candy? Little girl walks up in the little fairy outfit. No shoes on, it's eight o'clock at night in the dark and this kid's walking around with no shoes on her feet. - Yeah, that's a big hope on my brain. - Yeah, we hear this noise saying, oh, I'm holding her basket for her, I broke it, it's my fault, so I'll carry it for her. So we, so the right then, we couldn't see her from around the big inflatable thing that Taffy has in her front yard, but we knew we were in for a treat. So this woman comes walking up and she's probably, and I'd say her mid 30s and she's pretty much, you know, dressed like a, she's just-- - Horror. - Horror, yeah. And she says, yeah. She was getting-- - In Els Park attire. - Yeah. - But yeah. She was getting ready and I figured I was gonna get dressed with her and I tried putting on the outfit that I wore three years ago before I had her and realized that, you know what, if I wore this, all the little kids in the neighborhood would be getting way too much of a bad trick if you know what I'm saying. It doesn't fit me right in all the good places. We were like, okay. She goes to then, as I was trying to take it off, I tripped and fell over and spilled my beer into her bucket. (laughing) So now I'm carrying it for and everything. And she starts like, it's one of these where she keeps talking and I'm thinking to myself, if she keeps talking, I'm gonna have to file a report with the state. So just shut up and just take the, you know, take the gummy bear, you know, lifesavers and get the hell out. She just sort of wandered off and that was kind of it. And afterwards, we also looked at each other like, did that just happen? - Did that just happen? Was that real? - Wow. - That was ridiculous. Mm-hmm. - Y'all have the light. - You know, but I will tell you though, we actually had a lot of really good costumes, a lot of really cute costumes, but when did it become appropriate for a 12 year old to dress like a whore? Did I miss that somewhere? Did I, I mean, I'm talking to skirts with the garter belts and the thigh highs, walking around in the six inch heels or better yet, the girls who have the muffin top and the skin skin tight Halloween costume that someone didn't tell them look completely ridiculous. - Well, everyone has to walk around like-- - And what do you want to be? - I'm a pussy cat doll! - We'd see them walking up the cul-de-sac and we'd be like, "Oh God, no!" And all of us would wait, wait for it, wait for it. Oh, there she is, it was bad. And by bad, of course, I mean fabulous. - Well, what 12 year old shouldn't be dressed as a pussy cat doll? Please, come on. - Wow, that's true. - Because Lucy and I have my buttons, babe, uh-huh. - Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. The song, "I Don't Need a Man," the video, "I Don't Need a Man." You're talking about my girls. Oh, yeah. - The pussy cat dolls? - Oh, yeah. - We, I enjoy the pussy cat dolls. - Those are my goddesses. - They are my goddesses. - I only like Nicole. - Taffy, pussy cat dolls. (laughing) - Taylor enjoys the pussy cat dolls, normally when he's at the gym, on the treadmill. - Yeah. - And he thinks he is-- - Or making the littlest Huffington laugh when I do the dance two buttons. (laughing) - Which he does straddling like the wrong way. - Oh. - And rolling his hips back and forth and then flips his hair over like he has like Nicole's hair where it touches the ground and he flips it back up and it does the back roll. Oh, it's priceless. - Yeah, the only thing missing is me actually crawling across their floor towards (laughing) the littlest Huffington. It makes her laugh every single time though, so. - But she's not laughing with you. (laughing) No, she loves him. Because what's heaven gonna be like? Taylor will be there. She had to answer that question at school. It said, "When you go to heaven, "who do you hope to see? "What do you think Taylor will be like?" And she said, "I mean, what do you think heaven "will be like?" And she goes, "Taylor will be there." - Well, there you go. - Oh, God. - I adore that job. - Oh, I gotta tell you, Taffy, I worship the ground you walk on. - Well, thank you. - Your kids, the six year old? No, sixth grader. - No, sixth grader. - The sixth grader, when you told that story, I was just like, "We need more parents like that out there." So many more people like that out there. She is standing up for a-- - She is, no, she's awesome. - She has to be. - Because you know, gay pride. (laughing) - Exactly, exactly, almost. - And I told her how proud I was at her when I saw her. - Oh man, I heard about your little gay pride movement. She just sort of giggled. - It brought a tear to my eye. I was just like, that is just amazing. If there were more parents out there teaching their kids, stuff like that. Yeah, we would have an absolutely fantastic world. It's a great world, it's just not fantastic. But yeah, thank you and Tank, both for being just phenomenal parents. - I will. - And me, I'm kind of a parent to her. (laughing) - You know what, absolutely, Taylor has been the quintessential fabulous gay role model in the fact that he, when he and Drummer together, they had a great relationship for them to see that you know what, they care about each other, they love each other, and they live in a house, and they have pets, and they're responsible, and they have jobs, and they're just like every single person in the whole wide world. When they love somebody, they love them the exact same way. It just means they wanna kiss boys instead of girls. And that's pretty much exactly the way we explain it to them. You know, they're just two people in love, just like Daddy and I are in love, and there's absolutely no difference. And it was pretty much that, when that explanation was given, then it was, oh, and it never became anything else. But then now that they're older, obviously they see the difference in the way other people react. - Right, right, and to have the gall to stand up like that for her. And to her teacher, which I thought that was just amazing as well. - Yeah, it's called balls, actually. - I was gonna say that, but. - Yeah, no, you can say that, no. And she would giggle if she heard you say that too. (laughing) That would make her giggle. - Well, there you go. That little girl's got some big balls. - Well, I'll tell you, I'll tell you this story really, really quick. When she went to kindergarten, she went to a prep school, and in the night before school started, she had her little uniform all laid out, and she was a little tiny. And she had read the dress code, and it said that you could wear tights or hoes underneath your uniform, as long as they were black, blue, or nude colored. So the next morning she comes, she says, I said, are you coming? I mean, it's kindergarten, let's shift it. How, she's like, I don't need any help getting ready, and she has, for years, had her own coffee maker in her bathroom, so she can make herself little, you know what, she calls for Appachinos, and she makes them in the morning, and then she sits in her bathroom and gets ready and loves herself, and I don't know. So, I can hear her coffee machine, so I know she's awake, and I know she's getting dressed. She walks outside, she has the whole uniform on, the jumper, the shoes, the sweater, the Peter Pan-colored, little white shirt, and black fishnet. (laughing) And I said, I don't think, A, where did you get the black fishnets? And B, I don't think so, and she goes, I got them out of Sissy's Halloween costume box, and I said, oh, well, oh, okay. I said, she goes, look in the book. It says they have to be black. These are clearly, oh, now, do I say, well, yes, but you can't wear those because you're gonna get in trouble, or do I say, well, you know what, she made your point. So that's what I did. I gotta go to school at home, and of course, I got the little note, you know, damn, Mrs. Huffington, while we love her personal style, perhaps, you know, you might want it to discourage, and I just said, you know what, that was her thing today. I said, it's the first day of school, I'll let you get away with it, because you have to push the envelope a little bit, that's okay. So here in kindergarten, no, fishnets. So you have to wear it. - Oh, absolutely amazing. I would take a bullet for that kid. - She's, she's. - The older one, not so much. (laughing) - She's, she's a mess. There's no question that Taylor and drum probably fathered. It's some bizarre, molecular wave fathered, the little of Stovington, because she's too much like both of them. - We must have gotten into the same hot tub at some point. (laughing) - And exciting. Remind me if I ever come down to Florida, not to go hot tubbing, not gonna go hot tubbing. - That's right, you could end up pregnant. (laughing) - Great. - Uh, Rodin, do you have, you mentioned something about you having a story? - I, I do actually, and it's pretty much that I got robbed. - Oh no. - What? - I was robbed, and not, and like-- - Your house, your car, what? - Like literally, I was robbed. Sprout calls me yesterday afternoon from Florida, saying, "I've got two pieces of information for you." And I said, "Okay." Meanwhile, he didn't talk to me all last week when the hurricane was approaching and blah, blah, blah. So I've been trying to get ahold of him all week, and, you know, try to figure out what the hell's going on, and whatever. So, he calls me, he's like, "I got two pieces of information for you." He's like, "One, the house is still standing. "Two, it was broken into. "The stove is gone. "The front windows are broken. "The window AC units are gone, "and, like, they loved a bunch of other their stuff. "They're meeting, you know, Sprout and his twink. "I loved a bunch of their stuff there, too." - Oh man. - That was stolen. - Then you weren't robbed, they were robbed. - No, it's still my house. - So, yeah, I was robbed. I mean, they took the stove of all things. - Something sounds odd about that. - Something does sound odd about that. - I think that perhaps those things were sold by your ex, because who is going in the right mind is gonna break into a house and try to sneak out, no matter what time of day it is, with a stove, unless they back to van up in front of your house, broke the windows out, and a stove, really? - Well, and, you know what, that's what Mr. Blonde told me, too. He's like, "You know what, I wouldn't put it past them, "that they probably sold the stuff, "because it's right around the first of the month, "they needed to pay their rent." - Well, I think I was gonna say, I think something's fishy in suburbia. That's a little odd. - Yeah, well, I'm supposed to get a copy of the police report tomorrow, so we'll see if they actually filed one. But yeah, yeah, nice stuff. - Well, it's still not cool. I mean, that's still either way, it's not cool. - Yeah, no, I was pretty much livid yesterday when I got the news. I was like, "You got me." I was cussin' a storm, which did not bode well for my date with Mr. Blonde, so. - How did the date with Mr. Blonde go? - It went well, 'cause we weren't able to get together on Halloween night, so he came over and we watched. - Did you finally get sexified? - No. - Oh, man, I'm sorry. - I know, right? I definitely need to get sexified, but he came over and we watched Chicago and we had Chinese food, and we watched "Shawn of the Dead," which, you know, I hearted. And he, I hearted. He fell asleep during "Shawn of the Dead," and it was so cute, 'cause I had Riley on one side and Mr. Blonde on the other side, and they were just, you know, sleeping and twitching and doing all that kind of stuff. So it was kind of cute, so. And he and Riley get along like nobody's business, and I don't know if that kind of freaks me out or endears me to Mr. Blonde, I'm not really quite sure which, but Riley just loves it. - All the kids sign. Dogs can sense very good sign, yep, totally agree, which is why dogs usually bark and growl at times. (laughing) And horses nay. (laughing) - You know, you're big and brave when you're at your own house, but you wait. (laughing) - I'm sorry Ms. Taffy, I'm sorry Ms. Taffy. (laughing) - He'll be late for that. (laughing) - Good lord. Yeah, you're gonna pay for that. (laughing) - I'll kick a little about that all night. (laughing) Like a little school girl. - Exactly. A little Japanese school girl. - Speaking of little school girls, guess what the oldest Tuffington child watched this evening? You'll be so proud. - Don't, please don't tell me Drop Dead Gorgeous. - Not all of it, but she did watch the scene of, "I've got a secret." (laughing) - The rumors are true. (laughing) - And what does she think? - She roared. I mean, sell off the couch, hitting the floor. She was just like, this might be the, she goes, this might movie might be better than Anchorman. I said, it might be, I don't know, of course it is you. - I want to be there when she watches the rest of it. - Yes, you have to be there when she watches all of it. - I can't believe you showed her that scene. - No, it just happened to be on like, I don't know, movieplex and we happened to turn it on right as that scene was coming on. I was like, this is the scene the Taylor talks about. So she watched just that and then it was off to bed. - Okay. - Throw Dan, do you remember you and I going to see that in movies? - Oh yeah. - Do you remember that when that scene, the rumors are true? You and I screaming laughing. (laughing) - Yes, 'cause it was a little embarrassing. 'Cause I think the whole rest of the theater was just like in Austria. (laughing) - They were appalled. (laughing) - It's Joe, what is your, what is one of your favorite movies? - "City of Angels." - Oh, the one that runs. - Wow, you're a sap. - That's a great soundtrack. - Oh. - What did you say? - I said, wow, you're a sap. (laughing) - He's a chick flick right there. - I am, I am. Well, if you follow astrology, I'm a Scorpio. So I am like the king of sap. I love my chick flick. - So if Joe and I ever morphed together, we'd be the perfect woman because I hate chick movies. (laughing) - Yeah, I love it. - So I think you'd be the perfect man. - Shut up. (laughing) - So now, do you like, now, I do know that Taylor, one of Taylor's favorite movies, is like when Harry Met Sally, which to me is a very big chick flick movie. - Yes, yes, I agree. I'm not a big comic Ryan fan. So when Harry Met Sally, not too bad. Not too bad. - Except that wasn't Tom Hanks. - Oh God, no, you're right. - That's okay. - Just a little. - God joke, get it right. - Well, you know, during that time, Meg Ryan and Tom, I was at Tom Cruise, Tom Hanks starred in-- - 14 different movies, yeah. - Though Meg Ryan and Tom Cruise were in a movie together. Taffy, which what was it? - Meg Ryan and Tom Cruise. - Mm-hmm. - People all over the world are screaming the name of this movie, right? - I can't even think of it right now either. - You can't tell me. - Joe, do you know? - You can not tell me. - All right, Joe, don't say it, but do you know? - No idea. - Thank you. I love obscure movie references, but Meg Ryan-- - I haven't spoken to you in a far too obvious. - It's very obvious. - Can you give us like the initials of it? - If I give you the initials, you'll get it right away. - Well, then just tell us. - Okay, just tell me then. - Top gun. - She was in Top Gun. - That's right, Jesus. - She played Goose's wife. - Yeah, Goose, take me to bed or lose me forever. - Oh my gosh. - Yeah, she had a really short, short cropped hair. - No, okay, my favorite Tom Hanks, Meg Ryan movie, is Joe vs. Volcano. - No, I actually like You Got Meal. - Oh. - And see, that's a chick movie. - No, that was a cute one. Yes, that was a cute one. I can agree with that. - I've never seen that one. - That's cute. I mean, it's a chick movie, you know? It's a Nora Efron thing, where every movie is the exact same. They want to be together, but they can't be together. And it's just like Sleepless in Seattle. They want to be together, but they can't, I don't know. I just, that's why I hate chick movies. They're all the exact same. Then there's a crisis, and then crisis averted, and then the last scene is them kissing. Ugh, sorry. I prefer things like Transformers. (laughs) Which, tragically, there's only two movies that Taylor and I have ever seen in the same theater. One was Jackass too, and one was 300, which 300 is an awesome movie, admittedly. - 300 is an awesome movie. - Yeah. Speaking of 300, you and I got this weekend for $98. - Washboard apps. - I win. - Awesome. - Oh my gosh, for $98, I think I would have gotten two sets. (laughs) - One to great cheese on. - I got an HD DVD player. - Oh, you went to the Walmart $98? - Yeah, 'cause they, I went like at like eight o'clock at night, and they still had like 20 of them, so I bought one. - Taylor mentioned those on Friday too, 'cause we were at the Best Buy, which is, you know, much like porn to him, so. - Oh, yeah, so I, it's like Disney World. - It's his own personal Disney World. I said, you know, let's have lunch. I said, I have Aaron Strun. I have to go to Michaels. I have to go to Target. I have to go to Best Buy. He went, "Done, done, and I'm done, "and you're gonna buy me lunch well." (laughs) - That's right. - That was better than sex for Taylor. - All you have to do is stand there and look pretty. (laughs) - And that makes Taffy the perfect man for Taylor. (laughs) - Exactly, thank you. - You know what, in many ways, if it weren't for that whole "vigine" thing, Taffy would be the perfect man. You're the one who has one, so it is right. - I like my "vigine." (laughs) - We know, we've seen the videos on this. (laughs) - Have you ever read some of the titles of some of those? They're just ridiculous. - Taffy and her salami curtains? Yeah, I have something. - Oh, wow. (laughs) - No, you know, my wife's first time with double anal and a Budweiser bottle, and I'm like, what the? - Oh. - So after I watched it four times, I still didn't understand. (laughs) - The girls, it's not us, it's you. Apparently, after listening to us talk about X-Tube, started going on X-Tube as well. - See. - And there was something with a butthole turning into a rose butt or something that-- - Oh. - Yeah, it was-- - Oh, no, unless you've released the one, you don't know what disturbing truly is. - Oh. - I've seen a butthole. - Oh, you're not seen around. - That particular rose. If you can at all avoid it-- - Oh, I don't, honestly, I'm gonna be telling, I'm not gonna be honest with you, I thought he was talking about like a Photoshop-type thing, so if you're telling me that it's an actual thing, we're like, part of, I don't even want to know the rest of it. - I have no idea what we're talking about right now, and I think it's probably for the best. - I've avoided it all costs. - Yeah. - But now my imagination-- - You don't want to deal with this rose or it's the horns 'cause ew. - Ew. - You know what's amazing though? Now let's listen, this is probably more than our readers need right now, but it's late, and so we're just, you know, whatever. - Goopy. - If you have ever watched some of these videos on X-Tube, and if you were gonna have a camera shoved in your, you know, business area, would you make sure, please, that it's A, freshly shaven, and B, free of ingrown hairs, and C, that the sheets you're on, or at least have been purchased in the last, I don't know, 10 years? Is that too much to ask? - Well yeah, because they wanted to push their stuff on X-Tube, and who cares about shit, like, you know, climate masks? - I do. - I know, but thank you, thank you. Do you have stuff on X-Tube? Please God say yes. - Not me, ooh. - Who? - Smart boy. Rodan does. Rodan, how many things do you have on X-Tube? - Oh, just the four or five, it's fine. No. - Oh. - Just the, just the shocker. - Here. Unrily. - Oh. - Pat-ish, Pat-ish, Pat-ish. (laughing) - Oh, my poor puppy is asleep next to me right now. - All right, all right, all right, all right. - Oh, that's a death, that's not right, you're not right. - And we descend into chaos, ladies and gentlemen. - Yeah, well, we are at 55 minutes, so we should probably think about wrapping it up. - Oh, but we can't think about it. - We have a thousandth post by Taylor, very proud. - Yes, he had to post like six posts in a row to get to a thousand, but you know. - He had to steal our thunder, Rodan. God, you think one of us had had it. - Hell no! (laughing) - He would have deleted it. - Yes, to the end. - That's right. - There was something wrong, I don't know why I didn't come to go. (laughing) - But guess what, folks, a thousand posts, hey! Pizza for everyone! - Well, Joe, we love you, and I have to tell you that Taylor and I were on this big kick Friday of quoting friends episodes, and every time I say your name, I want to say when Matt LeBlanc and Ross Geller are playing GI Joe's and he goes, "Go, Joe!" I don't know why, but every time I say your name, I just replay that scene in my head. - I play. - Yeah, I'm sorry, we're standing in Target, we're doing something, and I'm like, can you please, he had grabbed the cart, and I said, "We were at Michael's." I said, "I need the cart." And he's like, "Get your own." And I'm like, "Give me the cart." And he's like, "Joey doesn't share food." I'm like, "What the hell are you talking about? Give me the damn cart!" 'Cause it just seems to say it like 30 times. Joey doesn't share food! - Joey doesn't share food! - I'm like, "What the hell?" So yeah, that led to within a friend's marathon of just ridiculousness. I love our life. - I hope you guys are awesome. - I absolutely love listening to you. And I gotta tell ya, Taylor knows this. Rodin, it was your voice that caught me the very first time. And that's why I kept listening. - Oh, you had him at, hello. - Why are you playing? - Now, Ramble Redhead was, for sure, that I like do something to make my voice deeper or something, and I really don't. I was just so like, "This is just me, it's me, it's me, it's me, it's where!" Until just now. - You hear it? - It's just me, I swear. - He just went limp when you did that. (laughing) - He has a man joining now. I hope he's writing so for me. - Oh, well. Yeah, Craig, it crawled right up in there. - Would you fuck me? I'd fuck me. - Well, you know what, beings, we have our number one listener. I think our number one listener should get a pop quiz on what all the information is causing at the end of each episode. - Oh, that's my idea. - You guys are horrible. - I can never get it right, so come on. - All right, as always, you can reach us at our email, which is potismycoapilot@gmail.com. - Yay! - Ding, ding, ding, ding. - And you can go to our blog, which is potismycoapilot.blogspot.com. - Potismycolon? (laughing) - I was gonna say potismycolon. - Potismycolon. - Three times this morning, remember? Come on. - Try it again. - Potismycoap. (laughing) - Wait, did you say you've been fucked three times this morning? Is that what you said? - Yes. - You need a colonic. - Potismycoapilot.com. (laughing) - All right, and you can be our friend at Myspace by going to Myspace.com. All right, Taffy and Rodan, you bitches need to step up because if our listeners can say it right the first time, other than the whole colonic thing, then the two of you should too. - But see, they've listened to us. We don't. - Yeah, right? - We've been talking talkin' talkin' talkin' talkin'. - Thank you for listening to episode 33. As always, this is Taylor. - And Taffy. - And Rodan. - And this is Joe, y'all. - Okay, I was gonna say say hello or say goodbye. (laughing) Say goodbye. - I think we just had a Hummer from Hummer. - All right, nice. - Have a good night and everybody, see ya later. - Bye. - Bye bye. (upbeat music) (upbeat music) (upbeat music) (upbeat music) (upbeat music)
