(upbeat music) You're listening to "Pod Is My Copilot" with Taylor the Latte Boy, Taffy Carlisle Huffington, and Rodin. (upbeat music) Hi, this is Taylor the Latte Boy, and welcome to episode 30 of "Pod Is My Copilot." As always, I'm joined by Taffy Carlisle Huffington. - Hello, kittens. - And Rodin. - Hello, boys. - And we have listened to the masses, ones of five of you who stole a couple of weeks ago, and asked which of our previous host, guest host, would you like to have on the show? And we listened, so please welcome to the podcast, Drum Riley Calhoun. - Good evening. Okay, that was okay. - Okay, yeah, right? Oh my goodness. Hey, y'all, otherwise known as Chief Womp-a-Balls. (laughing) - Yes, I have the biggest balls in the Western Hemisphere. - Yes, drums balls have been a source of delight for many of us over the years. - They've actually caused more than one solar eclipse. (laughing) - And the occasional black eye. (laughing) - But that's a story from way back. - Sweet, oh. - I'm trying to think of the positioning. You guys would have to be in to get a black eye, so. - Laying down on your back while he straddles over your face. Wait, I'm sorry. (laughing) - I was gonna say, that came out a little too quickly, I think. - Yeah, that's just one of many. - You know. Thank you. - Okay. - Boy, tell ya, Drum has the sex voice. He's like the cool filter kings, you know. Hey, ladies. - I'm the latest man. - I'll be back to check you out. (laughing) - Hey, good looking. I'll be back to pick you up later. - Oh, Lord. So, can I just talk a little bit about some scenes from 'em all yesterday? - Oh, God. - Yeah. - You went to a mall? - Yeah. - Did you have ones with a little yelling in Bette Midler or something? - Yeah, pretty much. We were Woody Allen and Bette Midler yesterday. We went to the mall with Taffy's children to get, what was it that we were supposed to get? Dresses? - A cotillion dress for the little staffing dinner. - Oh. - Okay, do we ever actually get the cotillion dress? - Yes, don't you remember the correlative little dress that you jumped up and down through a fit and screamed, "If you don't buy it, I will." - Oh, yeah. (laughing) It's an awesome dress, you don't know. - It's made of puppies. - Listen, Taylor, do you know what it is? It is the dress as my friend. It's the red dress. - Oh my God, you have to tell that story. - No, you can tell that story, but go on. Finish your first story. - We, okay. Well, let me, let's tell that the dress is our friend story first. - Okay. - Okay. - We were driving around with the Littles Huffington and she had written a story for class. This was in, I guess, fifth grade when she had done this. And the story was supposed to be about meeting a new friend. And in the story, she sort of went on this tangent about how the friend had this red dress that she wanted and she asked the friend to borrow the dress and the friend said no when she was very sad and then she was supposed to go to a party and then when she was going to the party on the way to the party, she stopped at a store and at the store there was this red dress was in the window and she was going on and on and on about the red dress and we said, what is-- - Page, after page, after page. - Yeah, pages of this and the backseat of the car while we're driving around. And at one point, one of us said, well, what about your friend? You were supposed to be writing a story about your friend and very indignantly she went, the dress is my friend. (laughs) - So yes, now she has red dress that is her friend. - Yes. - That sounds very much like something Taylor would say. - I have said for many years that Taylor and Jerome secretly gave birth to the Littles Huffington. (laughs) - She owns the red dress and will rule the world in the red dress. - World domination. - Absolutely. Yesterday, walking around the mall, I am feeling pretty much like an old man. I used to be a mall rat back in the day. My first job was at Spencer gifts in the mall back when I was 16 at the Echelon mall in Boorhees, New Jersey and I just looking around at people. It was kind of funny and I even said at one point the Littles Huffington wanted to go to Hot Topic so I went with her while Taffy went shopping in another store and walking around, it was very much the more things changed, the more they stay the same. - Now see, whereas you felt old, I have a higher moral center or something. I always feel like, I just don't want to be around any of those people. I really don't, even if it's a nice mall. I'd say all people with malls. - Yeah, I was pretty much by the end. I was at that point. And once again, the bad service bug chased Taffy around. - It is me. I must give off, you know, as Jerome says, a black aura. I don't think I have a black aura, but apparently to salespeople, I am a bitch. I don't know because I have them that like me. I really do. Maybe it's you, maybe you're always with me and then the bad things happen, I don't know. - Okay, first thing is because I have the same problem anywhere I go. They look at me and they snap and become whatever. - Again, my favorite drum story, Standing in the Dances are New Year's Eve. Who do I have to fuck to get an elevator? - At the top of my list. - I don't know. I think Taylor though is the bad service moment. - Magnet. - Oh yeah, oh my goodness. Because I have good service or at least service that is serviceable wherever I go unless I'm with Taylor. And it goes down here. - But I have good service. I want to buy myself all the time. And I'm always the one that's like when, you know, one of you bitches is all me to somebody. I'm the one standing behind you going, thank you. - I'm not yesterday. - I don't remember one time where you were the nice one in any situation like that. - No, I will say whenever anyone's helping us or anything like that, he's always the last one that goes, okay, thank you very much. Every place we go, he does that. - Well, yesterday I kind of got the last word in and you can start the story and I'll finish it. - So we are shopping at a little girl store called limited to who normally hire only teenage girls who want to do nothing but make little girls feel like they're, you know, fabulous and wonderful. And they want to talk to them about, you know, things like, I don't know, you know, all the shows on Disney Channel and they want to ask them their favorite color. So it's usually a very good shopping store. - Do you know Zac Efron is? - Exactly. - I met him backstage after a concert and gave him a hummer. Do you know what a hummer is? - Can you say Bukaki? - Yes, exactly. - So, you know, and it all, it plays all the Disney Channel movies. It's not a Disney store. It's just very geared to little girls. Okay, fine, whatever. We've shopped there since the oldest Huffington was about, you know, four years old. So I usually am pretty well equipped with the limited to. So yesterday we go in and it's a satellite store because they've closed the big one and they've kind of moved everything up to the upstairs part of Countryside Mall to make a makeshift store before the new one opens, find whatever. So we walk in and immediately, you know, I'm a sensory person. I don't want to show up someplace that has fluorescent lights. I just, I can't wrap my brain around it. So you walk in and it's fluorescent lights everywhere. So I'm thinking, okay, well, you know, they're in a trial period, fine. So we find the things we need to get and the line from where you have to check out, there's three groups, you know, there's like three groups of people getting ready to check out, three adults and then there's like, you know, three or four kids each. So we're standing there and we're standing there, we're staying there and Taylor and the oldest Huffington are, you know, over making fun of hair pieces and they're putting them on each other and they're, you know, acting like cheerleaders and, you know, basically having a great time. And we're all just kind of staying there and I'm thinking, I have stood here for 60 minutes and this line hasn't moved at all. And these girls, the three girls that were working behind the counter were at a glacial pace. I mean, ridiculously slow. So finally, I said, why don't you guys just go sit outside because the longer I stand here, the more pissed off I'm gonna get. And, you know, the girls are standing there and I don't wanna act like a complete nut or moron. So Taylor takes a girl's outside and we sit and we sit and we sit and I keep making eye contact with Taylor and he's like, are you fucking kidding me? You know, you've been standing there for 12 minutes. So I look at my cell phone, 13 minutes. The first group of people leave thinking, if this was not, you know, the exact size genes in my child needs and they're on sale, you know I would not be standing here. So we get up to the, I finally make it up to the front and I say, how long is this flagship store gonna be open? She goes, oh, about a nine. And I said, do you realize the day after Thanksgiving, people are gonna kill you in here unless you all figure this out because I have stood in line for 17 minutes for you to check three people out. I said, you had two people leave, who just threw their stuff down on that, you know, display right there and this is ridiculous. Well, we're doing the best we can. I said, well, that's not good enough though. So you need to kind of, you know, expedite things a little bit. So she starts ringing things up and the whole time, the woman, the one in the middle is like on the phone with somebody and she's text messaging. So, okay, that's a problem anyways. And the little woman beside me is asking her a question about a return and I'm thinking, God help you because this is never gonna work. So she says, your total is, you know, $46. No, the total was $86 and I had, you know, the coupons did you get like, you know, spend $25, get $10 off and I have like literally 12 of them because the last time I shop there, I spent a whole bunch of money. So I said, I pull them out and she goes, where did you get those? I said, excuse me, what do you mean? And she goes, well, where did you get all of those? Why would you have that many? Who gave those to you? I said, I shop here all the time, but how did you get that many? I'm looking at her going, are you kidding me? So I said, yeah, here's- - So she's calling you a liar? - Basically, or thief. And I said, here's four of them and, you know, they expire in a couple of days. So I ordered the woman next to me, a couple of them. Oh, you can't do that. I said, man, I bought this stuff. These are my coupons, I can do whatever the hell I want to with these coupons. You know, I'm thinking at this point, I'm yelling what's up, you know, I'm arguing with a 17 year old, give me a break. So she says, okay, well, you know, so now that's, you know, Leslie, she has coupons. Can you come over here? Well, I'm folding the shirts for the display and I keep turning around a little from my shoulder, looking at Taylor, thinking, there's gonna be bloodshed. It's coming down to bloodshed. - At this point, my job out in the mall is to keep the girls looking every other place but limited to, because I know it's only a matter of time before they see their mother grab the-- - Come across the counter, yeah. - Yeah, jump across the counter. - So I'm like, okay. - And while that would've been highly entertaining for me, the girls didn't need to see their mother doing that. - So the whole time I'm just like, you know, this, I said, this is, has got to be the most just organizing the two I've ever seen. I said, where is your manager? Oh, you know, you know, we're just, okay, I can't talk to you if you're gonna talk like that. So we have to just stop talking now, period. And I, she says, your total now is $46 and I hand her a $100 bill and you know what she says? Do you have anything smaller? I said, it's $46. It's the middle of the day in the mall. I handed you 100. Are you kidding me? Leslie, will you come over here and make a change? This is, I weep for the future of America, please tell me. So then they can't make change out of a door that has literally a stack of 10 to stack of five, stack of one, stack of 20s. I'm looking at the damn drawer. They have to go back in the back and get another drawer that has change change and come back because the 46 cents having to make the difference to equal a dollar was just too much for their brains to wrap around. So I'm literally standing there and staying there. So I got ready to leave and she's, so what she does instead of counting the change out to me, she folds the dollar bills and hands on to me folded. She goes, oh, here's your change. And I'm like, okay, so let's see, there's five 10 and I'm standing in front of her and she goes, well, it's all there, like stupid bitch. And so I'm like, oh, okay, I said, well, this will be the last time I patroned and I, I will be paid the patron of this limited to. And so as I turn around, I see Taylor's face and he's looking right kind of through me and all of a sudden he just levitates up and walks right past me and I hear him say, go ahead. - I walk up to them and said, this is, hi, how are I said, I need the name of your district manager. I need the number to the store as far as what store it is and I need, I need a phone number right now. And she's like, well, but I said, that's what I need. That's all I need. - I've taught you well my, my young jedi master. - Padawan and she said, well, I just, I don't know, you know, we have a corporate number. I said, that's fine. And she said, well, okay. And she goes, well, when you need our number, what number do you need? I said, this number has, this store has a number to it. Like, you know, your store number 45 in the district or whatever, I need that number. So, and I, and I wrote down both their names and she said, well, is there something that I can help you with? And I said, no, I said, because you spend a little much too much time snickering at your customers rather than helping them, but I'll be taking that up with your district manager. Because as soon as Tappy turned around, one of them muttered something to the other one and the other one did that little (laughs) with a hand over the mouth. Yeah, that's not gonna happen. That's certainly not gonna happen to one of my friends when I'm standing there watching it. Well, and it's not even, and I appreciate that. And that's why I told the little less Huffington, I said, you know what? I said, we're just gonna stand here. And obviously he has something to say and he'll tell us about, 'cause she was like, what's he doing? And I said, you know what? (laughs) He obviously-- Can I go over and stand next to him? Exactly. Because, because of course, you know, the little less Huffington is way more intuitive than most children who are 11. And the whole time she's looking at me and she's rolling her eyes like, you've got to be kidding me. And she's like, mommy, why are they acting like that if they're at work? Well, okay, if the little kids are realizing they're not supposed to be acting like, then that's a problem. You know what I mean? That's just a problem in general. And I literally, in the last four months, I probably spent $3,000 in the store. So, just getting back to school clothes and getting birthday gifts and gift cards and whatever. And I know how these employees are supposed to act. And every single one in the stamp store was just worthless. I hope, I hope when you're done calling, you give me the numbers and I'll call because-- Okay. I just, I hate stupid people and I hate stupid women and stupid teenagers become stupid women. And I, ugh. But to be honest, that isn't those girls issue. That's that manager's issue. Because certainly she hired those apathetic, no, she hired them, she hired them. She's keep, he or she hired them. Which is why I asked for the district managers number because I remember back in my retail days, managers don't give a shit. They're their buddies. They want to be their pals and so on. They're folding sweaters and, you know, keeping, you know, the shoplifting down to a minimum, they're okay. Yeah, sure. No, put in the hand of Montana tape. Yeah, that's great. No, the district manager will go in there and they will kick the manager's ass. Yeah, because a lot of these stores, especially this time of year, would just want a warm body. Yeah, they could give a shit list. Oh, she's the demographic, so we'll hire her. Well, we were in a target one time and you said something about the employees and the response that you got for the manager was, well, it's this time of year. What are you going to do? We just hire where we can get. No, that is an unacceptable response to me, you know. Well, having had to hire people in Florida for the last 10 years, yeah. You get to a point where there's not much you can do besides breathe on a mirror and hope to be best. Actually, the king of, and he mentioned this earlier, the king of customer service complaints would be Mr. Drummerly County. Thank you. Would you like to tell the story about the time you and I were in the Longhorn Steakhouse? Oh, please do. I would be happy to tell that story. We were at Longhorn's Lone Star. Lone Star, Lone Star Steakhouse. The one over at Tyrone, no one's ever in there and how they stay in business, I don't know, but we can always go and get a table there if every place else is packed. So we ended up there like every time. So we go in and, and if I leave anything out, fill it in. I'll let you know. (laughing) We ordered appetizer, I'm sure. And they took forever to get the appetizer and they bring the appetizer out. Oh, I left out the most important part. The server who was like 12 in a major skid mark was also training someone. So-- No. Any bad service he provided, this new person was, was learning and it was driving me nuts. So they bring the appetizer out 50 minutes later and then 30 seconds after they bring the appetizer, they bring the dinners. And it just pushed me over the edge. I got to the point where I was so mad I was shaking and I said I needed the manager to come over to the table immediately and he came over and I said, I want you to take this steak and you gotta take it back there 'cause we haven't even had a chance to eat our appetizer yet. And when I'm ready for you to bring our dinners out, I will let you know and then you will bring us new steaks. Good for you. So Taylor said after the manager left the table, I want to blow you right now. (laughing) I was so turned on, I was very just like, 'cause he was just like, you know, we've been sitting here for 50 minutes and da-da-da-da-da. So what you're gonna do is you're gonna take these steaks back and we will let you know and I was like, take me here. Yeah, I want his dick in my mouth right now. (laughing) So basically I'll take search of someone to be bossy to somebody else and then you want to have sex with him? Jesus, you and my mother would get a long break. (laughing) Whoa, whoa. You could be the widow Carlisle's bitch. Ah, God, I'm gonna leave that one alone. (laughing) There's about six or seven responses I can make to that. Thank you. None of them would end up well so. So not one but two of our hosts right now apparently have puppy news. Oh, that employees tell us about the babies. No, let's stop talking about the back customer service and let's talk about happy things. Okay. Like puppies. Well, I have a puppy. You have a baby? I have a baby. You have one or two? (laughing) I just got one. Damn it. I know, but one is really the luckiest number. No. That's the loneliest number. That's the loneliest. That's the loneliest. And he's going to get the second one. Yay! Well, hold on, hold on, hold on a second. I got one because they would have let me take them too, but I got one because I asked them, I said, "Listen, you guys put these guys down "if they're not adopted within X member weeks." And they said, "No, no, no, not with puppies." So I said, "Okay, but I want you to call me "if the other one hasn't been adopted within a week or so "and you guys are starting to eye him "for fresh feed or something." I don't know more. So if there's a calendar with his face at the end of the month and Big Red X is getting closer and closer to him, they're supposed to give you a call. Yes. Okay. So if he's not adopted by another loving family by then. So, but I brought home, his name at the pound was Jack, but I renamed him to Riley 'cause he's more Riley. Actually, he's more lazy than anything. So he does kind of curl up sleep everywhere. A lazy puppy? A lazy puppy? And then the oxymoron? My God. Well, he seems to be more of a night hunter because during the day, he just kind of hangs out and sleeps and curls up places. But at night, he gets all crazy and chasing and he just tried attacking my flip flop a few minutes ago, right before the show started. Yeah. And there is a picture of Mr. Riley on the blog. Yes. He is very, very cute. That was the stillest I got him. 'Cause the whole time I'm trying to take his picture, he's running around the yard like a maniac. The only time he does that, and I'm trying to take a picture, you like freaks out, so. So when are you getting the other one? I don't know. I'm going to watch him through this week and we'll see what happened. But right before the, like he's been really good. He hasn't pooped in the house once. Wow. Until, well, wait, until four minutes before the show is supposed to start. I run, try to go pee. I'm running back, well, running as fast as I can't, you know, broke leg and everything else. But running is, you know, kind of hopping along and shmush. And I'm like, oh man, right before, right before, we're supposed to start talking. So I had to like rinse my foot off really fast. - Do you still have a cast on it? - No, I mean, I can walk around, okay? It's just moving kind of fast is not easy. - He's not as light on his feet as it used to be. - Yeah. - He's a giraffe on roller skate. (laughing) - Bitches. - So somebody else has a puppy news? - Yes. - Well, I have potential puppy news. Since I lost two of my children in the divorce, I only have one. - Broken home. - You just lose them. You can see them anytime you want. - But he's like Britney Spears. He has to have supervised custody. - Mm-hmm. - He just needs a letter from his attorney telling me the dates that he would like them and then we can work something out. - That's right, FedEx. (laughing) FedEx. - So anyway, I have one puppy in my household. And I think my one puppy's a little depressed because every morning as soon as I start getting ready for work, he goes and sits on the couch out on my porch. And he won't look me in the eye anymore and he never lifts his head. And then I-- - Oh, that's beautiful. - I leave the house and then I hear him crying as soon as I'm downstairs. So-- - Why don't you take him to Taylor so he can play with the other two? - Oh, I can't be bothered to do that every day. (laughing) - I can't be bothered because I'm happy to be happy. (laughing) The hell's wrong with you. So you're gonna get it a brother or sister? - Yes, I'm in the process of adopting another pug from Pug Rescue. So hopefully in the next week. - And do you have one that you've been like looking at? Or do you just, you're gonna get another one you don't know yet? - Well, they're all very, all the ones they have listed on their website is available are totally adorable. They do happen to have two little black ones and Hershey happens to be a black pug. So I thought-- - Why be racist? - Don't be hating player. (laughing) - Your children are midnight, Emilano. - They are black and black. (laughing) - Your children are black and black. (laughing) Hershey's the cutest thing ever, so that would be. - I thought two black pugs would be really cute, especially in the park. So yes. We are going to hopefully have another black child very soon. (laughing) - Wow. - The foster care system is just a run within these days. (laughing) - Don't send letters, don't send letters. (laughing) - Dron is not a racist. - You just know the black pug community is up in arms right now. - Exactly. - Go into these white people. (laughing) - Black puppy in red hot white people. I think that's awesome. - Yeah, so when you get your new puppy, you'll have to send me a picture and I will post his or her picture on the blog. - I will do it. - Okay. I have not an announcement, but I have some very cool news that I talked about with Mr. Rodan last night. - Oh. - And we're going to be sharing it with Drum and Taffy for the first time. They don't even know about this. - We're going to be talking about your threesome? - Awesome. (laughing) - No, but go fuck yourself. Okay, Mr. Rodan and I have vacation plans for next year. - Oh, he thinks we have vacation plans. - No, we have vacation plans for next year. - Okay, to where? - That's a given. - We are going to, where are we going? - We are going to be going to Gay Summer Camp. - Oh my God, where is Gay Summer Camp? - Gay, okay, now check this out. No, where is the place that I talk about going all the time? - Like Oregon or Washington or Seattle? - It's in Seattle, Washington. - I want to go to Gay Summer Camp. - I know. And we talked about that last night. - And we're like Rainbow overalls or something? - They must have a heck cabin. - Fuck you. (laughing) - There'll just be a bunch of sad girls going, where's all the gays? (laughing) - I know if I just get him drunk enough, he'll eventually do, but he loves me. - And all of their names will be Beth. (laughing) - Except for you, Tachy. - And Heather. Beth and Heather. - Yeah, no, apparently I was talking to somebody last night and I was looking through his flicker pictures and all of a sudden there's all these pictures in like cabins and it's of all of these guys and it's like, I'm just like, what is this? And so I asked him about it and he goes, oh, that's Gay Summer Camp. I just got back a couple of weeks ago. I was like, what? - And obviously this is for adults. - Yes, it's only for adults and it's only for men and it is, I'm just crying. - That sounds like the coolest thing ever, oh my God. - Yeah, and it's very much that it's drug, alcohol, and attitude free, so it's not like, you know, a bunch of guys all doing poppers out in the woods or anything. - This is gonna be, this is the next episode of HBO's Best Sex or whatever the real sex is gonna be Gay Summer Camp. And we're gonna see Taylor's picture on it. (laughing) - No, what I can say to the guy, I said, is this something where it is like, you know, like Summer Camp, when you're a kid, only it's a bunch of, you know, adult men, or is this camp like, you know, Falcon Video Pack 4 with, you know, the four hunky guys with, you know, no pubic hair all doing each other out, you know, on a log. So, and he said, no, he goes, he goes, while some of that probably happened on the fringes, he goes, it's very much just a bunch of guys sitting around and doing, you know, and going for hikes and doing, you know, field games and making dreamcatchers and they have an, they have an easy bake-off where they do, they have an-- - They have an easy jerk-off? - No, you know, an easy bake. See, see the way you are. (laughing) Where it's, they use, they use easy bake ovens and they make like things and there's a contest as to who makes the best thing out of the easy bake oven. - So it's not gay camp, it's queer camp. - Oh yeah, it is very queer camp. - But they have workshops and it's, it just looks like it's a lot of fun. I'm gonna put the link up on the, on the blog to-- - It sounds like a blast. - So everybody can check it out. For the whole weekend, it's, it's a Friday to Monday, $185, that includes everything. - Okay, but you have to get there. - Yeah, but so it's $185 plus airfare plus, you know, we'd probably stay for a couple of days in a hotel first. - This? - I can see Seattle, I'm, I'm, I'm doing it. Whether or not Rodan does it, I've decided that this is my goal for next year. Is this something I wanted to do? - You need to do a podcast from there. Can you even watch it? - Oh, absolutely. - Oh yeah. - Yeah, I was gonna do that. - I was thinking that sounded like a-- - See, there's a hack cabin. - Yeah, I was thinking that was a really, really cool idea until you said there was no alcohol. 'Cause I know there's no way I could handle a weekend of screaming queens in the woods without booze. - Excuse me. - Well yeah, I mean-- - It's just been a weekend with the screaming queens in the woods. And thank you very much. (laughing) - No, no wait a minute. You may be able to take our alcohol and our drugs away from us, but really, do you really think they could take the attitude away from the poiers? - No. - Come on. - Well, according to the comments on their website, it says something along the lines of, "It was a safe and caring environment where everyone is accepted for who they are. A safe haven where healing and happiness are encouraged by sharing in a nod to judgmental scene." - They're gonna make daisy rings and put 'em in their hair and sink 'em by ya. It's just like summer camp. - Clover necklaces. - And you know what, that's always one of those things that you've talked about the girls going to summer camp and how you feel as though it's this. And I think we've talked about this on a previous podcast about how it is such a rite of passage for people. - I love summer camp. I went every summer, I loved it. - And I went to summer camp one time and I was supposed to be for a week and I think I stayed two days. It was a Cub Scout camp. When I was a Cub Scout, shut up. And it was just one of those things that now, looking back on it, I kind of regret that I didn't get to do that. And I sort of feel like this would be something that I could do. - So instead of-- - Yes, we can go, it can be a bare scout. - And actually, I was at the new coals that they built by our house today. And I was looking at T-shirts and one of the T-shirts is the Weeblow symbol. And I almost bought it. And I was like, no, 'cause then I look like the dirty old man. - Wait, was it Weeblow or Weeblow? - Same difference. - Weeblow. - Same thing. - Yeah. - You see Weeblow and you get go like a 12-year-old, so. (laughing) - Yeah, so that is, so, and Rodin is already going hemming and hawn about it, but I've decided he's going. - Find a way for the hat. - Okay, I'm hemming and hawning about it. I'm hemming and hawning about it only because, you know, hiking and stuff like that's not-- - Okay, I'm sure that's optional. - And I said that is, I'm sure that is optional and you've got a year to strengthen up your ankle. It's not like I'm telling you two weeks from now, we're going to Seattle and we're going to go hiking up, you know, Mount Rainier, it's, you've got a year. - Rodin, let me just, let me put this vision into your head. Six o'clock wake up, he's had a bowl of oatmeal and the cute little camp instructor says, "Today we're going to go on a five mile hike." Now, picture Taylor on your head and him going five miles, he can suck my dick because that's not going to be option. I want to lay by the jacuzzi, yeah. I don't see Taylor doing that. I don't think you have that much to do about the hike. - For $185. - Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. Why do you not see me doing that? - A five mile hike up a hill. - Am I physically enabled and capable of doing that? - No, but I think if you have the choice - Well, right now I think you are. - You're going on a five mile hike. I'm thinking you're going to choose a jacuzzi. - I don't think he's physically incapable of what something will happen on that five mile hike. - I was going to say, he'll make it a mile one and a half and then, yeah, I don't see the five miles. And I don't mean that to be bad. I just don't think, I don't think I would choose a five mile hike if I could do something else. - Here's the biggest hill in the area. We don't have hills. - That would be John Goodman's stomach. (both laughing) - I'm not climbing that. - 'Cause you will go up the mountain and come down a man, let me take a disease man. - Yeah, I was going to say, I will come back down the mountain with syphilis and I don't think I want that. That is not necessarily the badge of honor that I was looking to kick back. - Oh my God, listen, since we have a John Goodman segue, I have to say this. I think your camp idea is great, but did you tell Drummond Rodan what I did today? - Yes. - I'm John Goodman. - Yes. - What did you do? I don't think I heard the story. - Yes, you did. We were talking about it before she got on. - About my hair. - Oh, yes, yes. - Oh, yes, the tragic oaths are you have no idea unless you've seen the picture. Oh, it's so bad. It's actually, it's not as bad now, but it's so shocking to me now because forever in my adult life, I've had at least blonde highlights or blonde hair, dirty blonde, something strawberry blonde, whatever. My hair right now as chocolate, chocolate, chocolate. I have the thick chestnut bush on my head. My hair is about chocolate brown as I can get and not one highlight in it. - And now we have the title for episode 30. - There's a thick chocolate bush on my head. - One shot on my head. - Again, that's also how you get black eyes, but anyways, we come closer to all of them. - God, how big is your clit? - Ew. - It's petite. No, anyways. So my hair, my clit is so petite. - Well, you can get surgery for that these days. - I don't want an engorged clit, ew. - I have to make it smaller. - No, I have to. - Guess what? Neither do the three of them. (laughing) - Look at the word. No, it was, it was, it was, and by it, I mean, my hair, not my clit was like, you know, burgundy, purple. I was very John Goodman-esque for a minute, exactly. Except I was, I mean, I did send Taylor a picture and the response I got was, oh my God, I have to see it, do not change it. By that point, I changed it, of course. Because I called Crystal and said, what can I do? And she's like, what the hell were you thinking? Why, you have a colored drone hair since 1994, why would you start now? Like, 'cause I'm stupid. She's like, what the hell? But it's now chocolate brown, and it has to stay like this 'til Thursday, so. Until she can fix it, it's just, it's, I walked into the restaurant tonight and my mother went, I said, that's enough. And she's like, I don't want to look away, but I can't stop looking at it. She goes, it just is so completely different. I said, I know, I don't even look like myself. I walk by a mirror and I like, oh, oh God, it kind of surprises me, it catches me off guard. But, so yes, I'll have to get Taylor's opinion of it, which is gonna go. - Well, happy anniversary, by the way, I know you went out to dinner for your anniversary. - Yes, thank you, 17 years. And I still like him. - That is amazing. - It is amazing. I mean, I don't, I know, I gush over Tank a lot, but, you know, he's pretty dreamy. And I do still like him. - I think he's an eight person. - Well, excellent, yeah. - Well, of course, all the bitches on the show are all kind of bitter about love right now anyways, so. - Happy anniversary, dammit. - Thank you. I did give him a blowjob on the beach last night. - Sweet. - Oh, nice. (laughing) - Sweet. - Sweet? - Yes. It was down in Passagirl, actually. (laughing) It was very nice. Do you know that you can see the Milky Way from Passagirl? Insert your blowjob joke there, yes, I know. - I was gonna say, I bet. - Drum salt, no way. - Drum? - Or I bet it's not drum. (laughing) - I bet Tank's all that I was like. - No, he was hiding in the mangroves. - Oh. - Okay, in the gay community, that is a whole different connotation. - Yeah. That was one place I didn't ever go was the mangroves, thank you. - Well, sea oats, whatever they're called. But we were on a bench. Jesus, it was the right beside one of the walkways. It was no big deal. I mean, it was a big deal, but you know what I mean. - Right beside one of the walkways makes it so much more private. (laughing) - And I'm positive there was like a witch's cup and having some bizarre, like, you know, sacrificial. There was a swear to God. Taylor and I were there, I don't know, a couple of months ago, it was during the summer and there's like this one area where there's big rocks and everything you can walk out there. And there's like 30 people out there and they're all holding those battery operated candle looking things and they're up in front of their faces and they're staying in a circle. And I'm sure it was some sorority initiation or whatever, but we kept saying, light is a feathers, dip is a board, light is a feathers, dip is a board. - I've been tank was saying, stiff is a foreboding board. - Tank was, dip is a board. Anyways. - Yeah, that's all, that was my evening last night, but we had a lovely weekend. - Oh good, glad to hear it. - What'd you do yesterday? Thank you, exciting. Beside shop with me all day. - I was gonna say I shopped with you, I was with you all day. - I went back to Countryside this morning to get crap that my children found yesterday that they wanted for Christmas because Paris isn't enough. (laughing) - They were already hinting at you for Christmas presents? - No, but it was things like they showed me, they were like, "Oh, Mommy, look at this. "This isn't this cool." And I was like, "Oh, it's really neat." So I went back and got it this morning so I could remember what it was and where it was. Oh, I have my Christmas shopping done usually by the day after Thanksgiving. - Well, do you wanna tell everybody what the big present is for you guys for Christmas? - Yes, our eldest daughter turned 16 and for their Christmas gift and birthday gift combined, they're going to London and Paris because a little less Huffington wants to go to London and the biggest Huffington wants to go to Paris. So we're going to do a eight-day, four days in London, four days in Paris, which means God help me, I have to go in the fucking channel, which I'm gonna have to have some serious, serious medication, but that's fine. 'Cause the idea of being on a bullet train underwater for 45 minutes, it makes me wanna throw up right now, just talking about it. So I've been across the channel. I've been on across the English channel twice, once in a plane, once in a hydro, hydro foil, and I swore I would never ever cross it again because it's the roughest, frickin' piece of water I've ever been on, so, you know, and I'm not a boat person at all. So yes, let's take a bullet train through the bottom of it. That makes perfect sense. (laughing) But yes, we're going in February. So that's really their big Christmas gift. So you have to have a few things. You know, obviously they have to have things to unwrap at Christmas, but we don't ever get 'em. We usually get one big gift, not a lot of little things 'cause they have 150 grandparents to do that for them, anyways. - Right. - So yes, I went back and got a couple Christmas gifts today, trying to decide what to get for Taylor. I can think of a lot of things I'd like to get for Taylor. (laughing) - Oh, well, I'm sure he would like a wee, or a wee. - No, no, he had a wee and got rid of it, just like his computer he had, and got rid of it. Just like my Volvo I had, and got rid of it. We all have regrets. Thank you, Rodan. - Just like my pride that I had, and got rid of it. - Just like my virginity I had, and got rid of it. (sighing) - Oh yeah, last night he's cussing out Vista, and Microsoft, and everybody else in the world, and Mr. Taylor doesn't run a virus scan, or like keep his virus protection up, for the last 90 days. - I thought you had Norton. - Yeah, he let it expire. So he's just running against the file. It's three months old. - Stupid boy. - Okay, that's two times that you've thrown me under the bus tonight. - Who me? - No, Rodan. - No, me. I totally am, because you're blaming Bill Gates in his fall? - Blame Bill Gates. The words I believe Bill Gates never came out of my mouth last night. - Blame George Bush, just easier. (laughing) - That's what I do. I blame George Bush for letting me fall off the damn ladder that bastard. (laughing) - Well, we have something new this week. - We do. - We have letters. - Yeah. - We have six letters. We have viewer mail, listener mail. - You need to come up with some kind of sound effect. - Theme song. - Viewer mail. - Something really cool. - You're a listener. - There you go, you should have drums saying something. - Okay, now we have a sound bite of drum going mail calls, so any time we get an email, that's what we'll play before we do it. - That is. - Take Tyra mail. - Please. - Which I haven't watched this week, so. I still have a T-vode. I just watched the one where they smoked, or they didn't smoke, that was the one I just watched. - And she's not letting them smoke on the house, it's the season at all. - Oh really, is that a new role? - That's the rule, because little girls watch the show and they emulate what they do and they're not allowed to smoke at all. And she says very plainly, if you smoke when you're here tonight's the last night, 'cause tomorrow no smoking, in or around the house. - What are they gonna do for food now? - Wow. - Exactly. (laughing) - It's gonna be X-lax and alcohols, also. (laughing) - Oh God. Or just using cotton balls. (laughing) - Yikes. - Taking us back to episode one of Potismicot. (laughing) - Yeah. - Okay, we have an email from Cassie, who emailed us. - Hi Cassie. - Hey Cassie, who emailed us at Potismicot.pilot. And she said, I just found your podcast this morning. I have downloaded all of them. I'm halfway through the podcast. I heart you, you crack me up. I'm a California native, currently living in the middle of nowhere, Montana, so I laugh especially hard when Taffy laments about missing the snow and wanting cooler weather. Thanks so much for a great podcast. I will now whore you out in every single email and post I make on the World Wide Web. And when you're all super famous, I want mad props. - Sassy Cassie, we love her. - Yes, we do love Cassie. We actually talked a little bit about Cassie. I think on the last episode that all three of us were on, when we talked about Montana. She was the one that we talked about Montana. - She's gonna put us up in Montana. She is, whether she likes it or not. - That's right. She's gonna put us up in Montana and feed us. That's really all it matters. - This poor bitch is gonna be open in the door one day and the three of us are gonna be standing there with big grins. - You can be on the thing where you don't like that. - And the first thing out of Taffy's mouth, I only sleep on 800 count thread count sheets or above. - I don't think that would be 1200 and above, but that's fine. We could be like the open one freak show and they just randomly knock out people's doors. You can be Gail King. - Why do I have to be Gail King? - Because I'm not gonna be Gail King. - We have to tell that story real quick about when you and I talked about doing the road trip and we try to figure out which one would be Oprah and which one would be Gail. And then I said, well, we could switch off and we could be Gopra. I said, I could be Gopra. And then you could be, what was O-A-Y-L-E. - Oil, oil, oily. - And I said, I said, I said, oh, whale. - Oh, whale. - Oh, whale. - And she thought I said, oh, wait, I thought I said it. And you can be a whale. (laughs) - It looked like he was one of us. (laughs) - And David didn't tell me for like two minutes and I couldn't figure out why. - And I went, no, O-A-L, not O-A-L. So, and then we laughed very hard about it. Okay, so then we have another email from Nessa. - I love Nessa, Nessa the one that I was in. - You all said hi to Cassie, so you have to say hi to Nessa too. - Hello, Nessa. - Hi Nessa. Drummer, are you still there? - Hi Nessa. - Okay, thank you. - Sorry. - Drum's jerking off. (laughs) - He found some porn. - I did, I found some free porn. - Free porn. - Oh god, okay. All right, and it says, I was gonna write you from work but I get in trouble when I use company email. I should have because some of my thoughts have gone to the back of my brain. I listened to the newest podcast, it's great. It's good to be serious a little bit. She's talking about the episode where we talk about gay adoption and all that sort of stuff. - '28, yeah. - Yeah. So, it's good to be serious for a little bit. Let's us know you're human. 'Cause, you know, we all think you're robots. Kidding, of course. Congratulations on the book. That is amazing, I would totally buy a book as to support two people who I think rock hardcore. Let me know what I need to do. I promise that whatever info you choose to give me, I will keep it to myself. I know your real name is on the book but I will probably call you Taylor forever. I have the same problem with a girl at work. His name used to be Benjamin but now her name is Aaron. I occasionally refer to her as he and call her Ben. She's awesome by understanding that I'm lame when it comes to change, ha ha. I also listened to Ramble Redhead's interview with you which, for those of you who aren't aware of this, Taffy was recently interviewed and her episode with Ramble Redhead is 163. And that's up now if you go to rambleredhead.com. And Rodan is in the process of being interviewed. - I am scheduled for Thursday. - Oh, excellent, that's news to me. Okay, so she said she listened to Ramble Redhead's video interview. First of all, I can say that I adore you not in a creepy stalker way, although it will probably come off that way. But I promise, I mean that in the most respectful and non-creepy way possible. I think that your interview came off as very intelligent down to earth and personable, I can totally understand your concern regarding putting yourself out there when I was talking about talking about my real name. The confidentiality of your job can definitely put things in a different perspective. I think it's okay that you don't post all your pictures and have an alias. I would even say that hadn't I already seen your picture on Adam for Adam and Holly and Walt helped. For real, you and Rodan are super cute. So she thinks we're cute, I love your job. I wouldn't want to do it because I don't want to poke dead people. I think it's an amazing profession and I can hear in your voice how much you really care about the kids. It was touching. I told Ricky B of foul monkeys that if you have the type of personality that you, based on what I've heard that you and I could totally be friends in real life, the all the AKA not on, not through podcasts. That was kind of creepy, right? I swear that is not my tent in your backyard. Which is not the first time I've heard that. - Nice. - Anyway, sorry to babble, I had a point, have fun with Ricky and Herb on Saturday. This was right before I went to go be on foul monkeys, which Ricky accidentally screwed up the file. So we got the first 11 minutes. But it is on one of their episodes he did. He was gracious enough to post the first 11 minutes of the podcast that we did, which was really funny. And it's a shame that nobody will ever hear it because Ricky fucked up. - Oh, I'm not saying anything he was already saying about himself, I'm just busting his balls. So the foul monkeys go to foul monkeys.com, they have a really great podcast as well. So, and that was from Nessa. - I love Nessa. - Well, that's cool, thank you Nessa. - Yes. - We also got an email from Jimmy in Dayton, Ohio. - Yay. - Yeah. And this one says, hey guys, I just wanted to send an email to say hi, I've been listening for a while now and I just love you guys. I have included this link, which is to the sauerkraut festival. - Yes, because it's coming weekend and I'm not gonna be there, it sucks, sorry. - As I believe Taffy has said that she was from Waynesville and was a sauerkraut queen at the festival. - True. - My partner and I love Waynesville, but we actually live in Dayton and the sauerkraut festival. We are making plans to go in a couple of weeks. The cabbage rolls are wonderful. I am hoping that the weather will break a little and it'll be a cool crisp day to head out to the festival in flannel and jeans. The festival is so much better with fall weather and have some cabbage rolls. Oh, okay, head out to the festival in flannel and jeans and have some cabbage rolls. Well, I guess I can stop rambling about the cabbage rolls. I love the show and can't wait for the next one and that's from Jimmy. - And Jimmy, FYI, I checked the AOL Waynesville weather and it is supposed to break on Wednesday, the weather is, and the high on Saturday is 62 and the low is 40. - Oh, God. - It's perfect fall weather. Perfect cabbage roll weather. Oh, so jealous. - When you say cabbage roll, I'm thinking, what kind of lesbian act is this? - Ooh. (laughing) - Oh, God. - And we have another title for us at 30. - Yeah, a little bit in my mouth. (laughing) - It's like, I'm trying to figure out what the, oh my God, I don't know what to do. - What kind of lesbian sex act is a cabbage roll? - It's where you stick your scissors. - No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. - Oh, oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. - When I was in college, I used to, they used to do this stretching exercise in one of our classes. - They used to make you fist each other. (laughing) - Yes, we fisted each other in my classes in college. (laughing) - And it was called a luscious roll. - Oh, that sounds like a luscious roll. - So you would put your head onto your chest, then you would roll your back down and you would go all the way down and you would sort of like, you know, you would grab onto your ankles pretty much completely stretch your spine and then slowly come back up. And I always thought when he said that, it was this creepy old man professor and you'd go, "Now we're going to do luscious rolls "before we take our tasks." - Grab your ankles. - I was always like, he's got a camera set up someplace where he's like selling this shit. - Taylor. No, okay, I'll tell you what they make cabbad rolls they make sauerkraut pizza sauerkraut brownies They have sauerkraut sundays which is mashed potatoes topped with sliced kibasa sausage and topped with sauerkraut. Oh God so awesome. I want Taylor to go up there so bad. I can't stand it Well after I go to my gay summer camp and and apparently don't walk five miles then the next next Imagine you and I eating our way through the sauerkraut festival and then getting a car and driving back home. Oh No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, it's bad If you think that sells me and the idea of going to the sauerkraut festival you are sadly mistaken We can go this weekend drum. Let's go. We can leave Thursday night. Let's go. I'm all for it I called to get plane tickets, but there was way too expensive. Yeah, I was with her when she called to get the plane tickets It's is very expensive. All right. We have two more quick emails and then that's it. We have two more quickies two more quickies two more Newners Even though we're doing this at midnight. No 11 20, okay All right, now we also have a email from Ashley Ashley Ashley. Hello, Ashley. Hi Ashley and it's Drum hi Ashley. Thank you. It says hey I am finally rounding up to it as she she went through and listened to all of the podcasts the whole God bless her Wow, I'm finally rounding up to the end episodes and I was listening to the episode where Taffy is talking about the Macaroni Girl grill and that crazy waiter and because I'm listening to these at work I kept a gasping I was like whoa and then people in other cubicles were like what what I just had to keep saying nothing nothing What's going on nothing just a podcast 10 seconds later? So as you can see the vicious cycle, I got myself into you for the entirety of her story I love it when you guys tell stories though love it and please God. Oh God have John Goodman on the show never gonna Have it only imagine the way she talks now and I have to hear it so I explained to her in a response email that I didn't think that was possible because we'd have to explain to her what it was and get a Permission to what you know taper Taylor and she proceeds to send me an email talking about how she's researched the fact about We can record her voice without a permission Which you got a love Yeah, she's got moxie so Understand and drum can attest to this because we could never have John Goodman on this because she does not speak She is mute drum used to have the sound of focus on the cell phone and whenever it was her turn to talk He would just play the crickets Am I lying? No, you're not okay. Thank you or if she does talk. It's like this No It makes me feel good that you're doing something that you love drum. Did you ever hear did you did you ever hear the story about? The artisticness of the black and the white you need to do that means okay? I have to tell you we're all talking one night and John Goodman says and I quote you know when a black man is Shoving his dick of a white girl. That's I really think that's artistic You know the way the black and white merge together. I just take it so artistic I really don't have anything to say to that except I think I'm her yeah, right does I think I'm her medically sealed to my couch now All right, we have one more email and this email is really cool in a kind of creepy weird sort of way It is from Eric and Eric is another podcaster. He's a podcast called confessions of a southern boy in Yankee land And he lives he he lives up in New York City. I was reading the blog this week. Yeah. Yeah, it's very cool and Eric Kinda hot. He's a lot hot. Yeah. Yeah, actually and by kind I mean very hot So he writes hey guys So I was looking at a review for my podcast and saw that yours was reviewed by the same guy I have only listened to maybe one bit don't hate me and it was an old one So I was thrown when I heard the word Monroe So this morning I listened to the newest podcast and frankly I'm so freaked out I'm from Monroe, but I live in New York now. I have a pug His name is Zander. Oh I was a huge band geek in high school and college and Both and I went to ULM on a smaller note of reverence Relevance my brother and his family live in Tampa, and I'm there all the time. Oh, my god. Oh, wow Ladies and gentlemen, we have our first stalker Yeah, so it should be needless to say that you guys are somewhat the holy trinity of my life Hope all is well in Monroe and Florida best Eric So if you guys are interested in listening to a really cool podcast, it is confessions of a southern boy in Yankee land They're on iTunes. I believe he's up to episode 16 or 17. Check him out He's he's great and again He's cute and we like cute boys to listen to our show post post the link on our blog I will I will definitely do that all item to the link in our In the show notes, and I think he left and I think he left a comment I think that might be the one that left a comment on what I said I went to band competition or something about that. He may yeah, he may have because he has believe it or not Now this talk about this is full circle, so he really could be a soccer. He has We really don't think you're a stalker Eric Just that you know Eric. We hope you're no No, he had but if you are a stalker, please send us naked He had he he sent me a comment that said I really like listening to you know Marching band music, and I don't think it's weird that you know other people like listening to it I have a drum core CD of a drum core called phantom regiment and I was like oh my god because I marched phantom regiment in 1988 and I was like there It was like one of their signature seasons And I told him nice if you don't you can get this CD you have to get it and I mentioned it to him So the idea that of all the drum core cores he pulled out of thin air he pulled out phantom regiment that's Pretty freaky. Yeah. Yeah, you know, we have no idea what you're talking about right? No clue whatsoever. It's okay. She's just talking to one person out there into the ether. That's fine I'm sure other people realize what that is I get it and by other people I mean to but that's Well, so that was all of our emails and we have three new friends since the last time that we were all together and that would be Jeremiah who is actually Yeah, cuz I'm sure I was gonna say that because I'm sure he's never heard that one before And he actually is a listener to foul monkeys and I decided to give us a check out So hello Jeremiah and we also have Brian and we also have her Royal Highness Crown Princess Marie Chantal of Greece Please tell me that's her real name. I don't know, but it's an awesome myspace page So welcome as always if you want to be our friends you can go to myspace.com/potismicopilot and as to be our friends We're always looking for new friends We always want my new friends. We need new friends and please be our friend. Yes We always use a new friend now right now and again You can also email us at pause my co-pilot at gmail.com and check you out check me out I remember one finally What's the blog, and don't forget to visit us at our blog at www.pot is my co-pilot dot com is your name drum dipshit I didn't hear Another title I didn't hear him say drum. All right. Well, we're about an hour. Oh, okay, I guess I'm not talking That's fine. Sorry. I interrupted. I'm not allowed to do it Okay, you will be punished later Please I will withhold. Pull my hair. Pull my hair. Pull my hair. Pull my hair. I'll offer to pull your hair and then not do it That's my shit. That'll be your punishment What he's just trying to close the show y'all Wait, wait, wait before we close before we close I need to tell everybody that this Friday is the Miss corner bar pageant At them in row corner ball Yeah, you need to get that camera phone I can't wait to see what those I'm thinking that that is your assignment I want pictures early Saturday more when I wake up Saturday morning I want to turn on my computer and see some scary by you drag beans on Some toothless drag queens are coming your way And for those of you interested in the book you can go to Barnes noble.com and and your search engine type in Pippa and the puppy parlor, and it'll be available for purchase later on this month P I P a yes Pippa and the puppy parlor Yes, and we're also going to be setting up a little story here where we're going to have a PayPal account And I was going to set up a PO box for us, and I haven't done that yet But that is on the way that is some of the future plans for pot is my co-pilot, so Just stuff to look out for Yes, thank you very much. Thank you for having me. Oh and congratulations to our contest winners mama. Yeah Lisa Lou and call box 7 and I totally cut you off drum and I apologize. That's okay. I said thank you for having me Okay, we'd like to have you on a silver platter They're done that okay And on that note this is Taylor and Abby and Rodin and drum all right have a good week everybody. See you later Ta-da You You You (upbeat music) (upbeat music)
