You're listening to hot as my co-pilot with Taylor the Latte Boy, Taffy Carlisle Huffington and Rodan. Hi, this is Taylor the Latte Boy and welcome to episode 27 of Pot is my co-pilot. Oh fuck. Alright. Pot is my co-pilot. What is it? Kind of pilot. The Brooklyn edition. Yo yo yo. Hey. I am joined in the Pot is my co-pilot studio by not one but two of my hosts. Finally. At the same time. We have Taffy Carlisle Huffington. Hello bitches. And bitches? Butches? I figured that's still the Jersey. How does my pot is my Pope pilot with butches? And we have, speaking of bitches, we have Rodan. Hi. It's Britney bitch. It's Britney bitch. Speaking of which and Taffy and I talked about the whole Britney Spears thing on episode 26, which we taped about four hours ago. But have either of you seen the YouTube video of the guy telling everybody to leave Britney alone? No. Oh my god. Okay. I will put a link to it tonight on the blog. It is a site to be reckoned with. It is some weird little twinkie clearly on crystal meth guy with the big floppy hair with the big blonde streak through it. And he's like sitting under a blanket. And he's hysterically crying, screaming, leave Britney alone. Is he a fan like outside of a hotel or something? No, it's I don't know where he is, but he's just where he's just crying and he's like she's been through a lot. And I don't understand why you people have to be so mean to hardly Britney alone. It's yeah. You're going to have to post that. Oh yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And I started to send them a post thinking and I'm like, why am I going to comment on this one? I can just steal it and put it on. Thank you. Thank you. Yeah. Yeah. Just make sure you know you mark your source. Yeah. No, I'll definitely say that it was on film. Like he's and I've seen it on a couple of other blogs as well today. It's just it's ridiculous. Wow. Actually, the ridiculous doesn't even begin to describe it. Everything with Britney. It's ridiculous. Yeah. I posted the Kanye West kind of backstage at the MTV video awards thing. I don't know if you guys had a chance to look at it yet. I saw that you posted something and I saw that Nessa commented on it, but I hadn't had a chance to watch it. He annoys the hell out of me. I don't think he's just gross. Yeah. I don't understand. He seems to think. I mean, you want to talk about a narcissist. Oh yeah. Jesus. But really aren't most of them are pretty narcissistic. I mean, hello, take, you know, Sean Combs, spouse narcissistic is going to get. And that's one of those that I have never on most of most of the hip hop artists. I never understood the why they think they're the shit because. Oh, as far as I'm concerned, Sean Combs is a business genius. He takes, you know, he samples a 10 second riff off of an old police song and gets everyone else to sing the song for him. And every once in a while, he goes, oh, oh. And he. Yeah, that's what I mean. There's no. He's a genius. There's no talent necessarily. As far as a businessman, he's talented. But as far as an artist, I don't see where there's anything talented about him. No. Of course, I don't have, you know, a hundred million dollars because I sampled the police song. So that's true. Who's the who's the bigger fool? I guess. Yeah. I mean, he's constantly made plenty of money. But do you know what? You have the Kanye and P. Did he don't me, me and Rodan. So really it's a trade off. Really that that's the offer that's the best I can do. I'm sorry. Oh, jeez. Well, you two haven't talked, I've talked to Taffy and I've talked to Rodan and then I talked to Taffy and then I talked to Rodan, but Taffy and Rodan don't ever get a chance to talk to one another. That's someday Rodan and I are going to do our own podcast. Talk. Yes. I have said since episode one, the two of you should tape a podcast and now you both have the ability to download the files because we are all taping on audacity right now. We're all taping our own voices. And the plan is for me to edit all of them together so that it sounds like we're all in the same room. So if this doesn't work, we can blame you. Yeah. That's why I make sure it sounds, you know, genius. Yes. Well, that's a given because it's the three or so of course, you know. I have a question. Okay. Am I a bear? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. Easy. You asked. Well, but why am I okay? I. Because you're big and hairy and like the cock, that would be why and we have our title for episode two because you're big and hairy and like the cock. Exactly. Thank you. Well, but I mean, I don't know that I necessarily are big or hairy or like I know I know I'm big and hairy and like, I don't know that. Okay. Well, first of all, can we not call me big, please? Oh, I'm at tall. Wait, wait, wait, wait. Hold on a second. No, no, no, no. We're all not, you know, svelte saying the word big is not like saying the word morbidly obese. There's a difference. There's a little bit of truth and honesty we have to have with ourselves here. Well, and I understand that I am a larger side. I mean, he's girthy. I am roomy, but I just the whole big kind of, you know, what you're big and hairy and like your tall and hairy. He isn't tall. And I'm not necessarily hairy either. Oh, no, wait, you're hairy. Okay. Okay. That's crazy. I'm not hairy. Like a lot of the bears are hairy. I mean, I have hairy chest. Okay. Then how do you describe a bear? If you were describing a bear to someone who did not know what that slang reference meant in the gay world, how would you describe a bear? Big and hairy and like the cock. Thank you. Shocking. But, but also, I mean, bears often like other bears. And I don't necessarily adhere to that's the type of guy that I like. I like guys that are a little more stunky. Drum was big, hairy and like, ah, hello, but I wouldn't necessarily call drum a bear either. No. I would say you're much more bearish than drummers. Yeah. I would say that for sure. But I don't think that's a bad thing. I don't know why you're saying. No. I mean, I don't think it's a bad thing, but I mean, well, okay, I signed up for an account on the bear 411 just to dip my toe in it. And I wanted to dip my toe in it. Okay. Thank you. You dip the ball and like bear. I wanted to dip my balls and like bear and we have our second episode, our title for episode 27. And I am seeing some things that are very attractive, but I'm also seeing some things that are kind of like, oh, okay, well, if you don't think you're a bear, do you think you're an otter? What do you think you are? No, I'm not an otter. Otters are skinny. I don't know. I have seen a few gray hairs in the go team. Maybe he's a polar bear. Oh, maybe he's a Timmer wolf. Oh, yeah, he's going to kill me really. Yeah. Yeah. No, I would definitely think you're a bear, but I would think you're like a teddy bear, a cute cuddly bear. Not like a, you know, Kodiak or something. Not like the big, you know, girl, like I don't like the whole wolf thing and stuff. I just don't get it. I mean, I'm not going to see you in this, yeah, and I mean, I guess I'm dealing with stereotypes in my head of like what a bear is, and I just don't necessarily feel like I fit that, you know, plus I mean, bears tend to be, or at least on paper bears tend to be a little more masculine, I guess. Yeah, you're not a bear like I like, I picture the whole like, sort of like outdoorsy and enjoying doing things that I don't enjoy doing and I just, okay, well, if that's the case, then, you know, Lola and I are bears because we're both, you know, big and hairy and like the cogs. I mean, let's get real. Okay. So you've managed to call both drum and Lola big in the first 10 minutes of this episode. Yeah, I mean, tall. God. Big boned. I like. Well, okay, but if you're big and hairy and like the cock, then that would mean that Rodan is a bear as well. No, Rodan is not a bear. Why is Rodan not a bear and I am? Well, I, because when I see you personally, you have facial hair and your hair is darker in your chest. And when I see Rodan, I don't see that. So I naturally just assume that you're a little, you're a scotch bearish more so than Rodan has facial hair though. And Rodan also has dark, if I give you the real answer, you're going to mad at me and then you're going to hit me. Okay. Well, I think- Have you seen how much hair I have on my chest and the rest of my body? I've never seen your chest. Okay, but, okay, but from, and this is where you and I differ in that from the chest, from the waist up, I have chest hair and stomach hair. This is so attractive for people listening to this and wanting this metal picture. Well, you didn't have a lot of chest hair. You don't have a lot of chest hair. You talked about bald beavers and now we're talking about hairy legs and hairy chest. But- And Merkins. But Rodan doesn't have a lot of chest hair, but from the waist down, Rodan is a wookie. Cool. So, together we would make a bald beaver and a wookie. Yeah. Yeah. So- You're poor children. Okay. So what is the real answer that you didn't want to tell me? I think that Rodan has maybe a baby face whereas you definitely look younger than you are, but he actually to me has a baby face. And so that makes me not think bare. Whereas, now I'm not saying you look old before you get on your high horse and get all pissy. I'm just saying- I'm not getting pissy. I'm not getting pissy. You do, if I, yes, if I had to describe you to someone, I would say that you had bare esque qualities. But again- So I'm more rugged looking? I think you're more rugged looking than Rodan. Rodan is more of the, I'm sitting in a cubicle and I'm kind of nerdy cute, but in a good way. Whereas you're more of the bearish, bearish, if a bear in Martha Stewart had a baby, it would be you. Because I'm so good with crafts and culinary things. I had fish sticks for dinner tonight. Again with the fish sticks, Jesus. I had to finish the box. And they were really good. Oh my God. I haven't had fish sticks since I was about 14 years old and I saw them in publics and I just had to have them. So wait, now I distinctly recall a few episodes back you had fruity pebbles because they were good as a child. Now you're having fish sticks? What's next? Baby formula? Jesus. No, it's just, it was one of those where I was sort of in a, and you know what else I had earlier than we can, Rodan actually already knows this, a mama Celeste pizza. What is a mama Celeste pizza? A frozen pizza, a little frozen pizza that I remember them in the 70s and it was mama Celeste and it tasted just like it did when I was, I probably haven't had a mama Celeste pizza probably since I was about 11. It tastes just like mama Celeste used to make. Mm-hmm. And her frozen freezer. No, I invited you to stay for pizza tonight and you didn't and you could have had pizza hot pan pizza. I didn't, I had to get home to the dogs. Just by the way, was here in 18 minutes. You had been gone about two seconds and they got here. Wow. Okay. I showed Taffy how to order pizza tonight online. I felt so grown up. Yeah. I felt like I wanted to throw myself through a really close window. Well, put mushrooms on half of it and put onions on the other half. Yeah. Yeah. And put this here and wait a second, what are you doing? What are you doing? And I'm like, I'm setting this up so that all you have to do is hit click, click, click from now on. Well, but I don't understand. Why can't I have mushrooms here? You can have mushrooms here. Just give me a second. Well, I want pepperoni on that side, but I don't want it on this side, but it has to be meat lovers, but it has to eventually I was like, you need to go away. He's so meat. He's so testy. He is testy. You know, they say, don't poke the sleeping bear. Yogi and boo-boo. Oh, that should be your two's name's Yogi and boo-boo. Yogi and boo-boo. Only if I can be the park ranger, sorry, with your picnic basket. My picnic basket's filled with goodies. Oh, God. I wrote in. What are you trying to say? Because we keep cutting you off. I'm sorry. That's okay. I was just going to say, I could see myself ending up more on the bear side of life, you know, at some point too. Is that the new Bonnie Python song I missed? Always look on the bear side of life. So anyways, no, I think I must be a bear because now I'm hard. Me too. I just don't think there's a lot of other, you know, I don't know if it's bear by default or if it's just that you, you know, there's not a lot of options for guys once they get over their mid 20s in terms of a social scene or gay guys after they get over 30 because we're dead to the, you know, we're dead to the culture. So gay, gay guys over 30 have a lesbian bed death. I don't think so. I don't. What? Listen to you. Listen to you remembering things that I've told you in the past. I know. It's shocking, isn't it? Lesbian bed death. LBD. LBD? Yeah, you know me. I don't know that just everybody that turns after they turn 30, then they have to become a bear. I mean, I think. No, I just mean that there's just limited social scene options. I mean, how long are you going to, you know, if you don't follow the cookie cutter of I'm 35 and I have rock hard abs and I don't, I mean, that, I don't know, like there's, there seems like there's that aspect of it, like the metrosexual guys. Well, more like the circuit boys, Taylor, you have more hair product than anyone I know. You are. I have. You're a scotch metrosexual. Let's get real. Well, yeah. But that's just gay man, I mean, today he's queeled like a howler monkey because he dropped a piece of chocolate on his tiffany blue polo shirt. Well, that's just Taylor. Okay. First of all, I don't know that I squealed like a howler monkey. Yeah. Secondly, it was in the middle of my shirt. Thank you. It was a spec. But I'm looking at it right now, but cleanliness is next to godliness. So I suppose that makes you an angel. Yeah, I know. All right, goodness. So, but yeah, I mean, I, I think you got that circuit boy, circuit man thing that's really, you know, BOI wearing their little Hollister shirts being 40 years old or really being 30 years old, looking 40 years old. And then there's like, with the tanning bed tan. Yeah. Yeah. And then there's just like this big gap between that and bears. I mean, there's like nothing really in between for like normal gay men 30 years and older. Oh, I don't agree with that. I, I mean, having worked with a lot of, I mean, I've said in the past that you can't swing a dead cat at my work with that hit in a lesbian, but there's also a lot of gay guys that work there. And I don't know that they would necessarily fall into bear category. And we're all in our thirties and I mean, you know, well, according to you guys, I am a bear, but I mean, the rest of the guys that work with, they're just sort of like normal guys that are going about their lives and they have partners or they're going out and dating. I don't know that I would necessarily categorize them as bears. I know another gay couple and so does Taylor and I wouldn't categorize either of them as bears at all. No, they would be trolls. Oh, wow. Wow. Wow. And that's a whole other category. And if you think I'm a troll, I don't want to hear about it. No, we don't think you're a troll. Thank you. Right answer. But if you shake him really hard, his hair does stand up on it. Can I put a rhinestone in your belly button, please? And my hair's lime green. Excellent. Down there. Down there. Does the carpet match the drapes? I was trying to be on mute and like do a drink. I almost this bit take all over my computer when you said lime green down there. Yeah. As long as it's not lime green from infection, that's fine. The John Goodman story. Yeah. So Rodan, what is going on with you? See, I am in this leadership conference this week with our CEO with 120 of us leaders of the company. Yeah. Yeah. That's interesting. Have you gotten laid lately? Yeah. I was like, it does. Much fun as I was saying. Well, now that the dust is cleared. Between your legs. Between his legs. The dust is clear. No, that would be. That would be. I had a cleansing tea last night. Oh, God. Oh, God, no, by dust he means the crystal meth down in West Palm Beach. Well. Allegedly. Allegedly. So I'm going to come clean on a little something something. Okay. He got laid. I did. I did get laid. But it was a while ago. Yeah. Yeah. No, I've gotten laid recently and I need to because it's starting to get crusty and may fall off soon. But. Oh, God. Okay. I have to tell you. I don't think I've ever heard a better invitation for our listeners than that. I have to tell you real quick that when I'm watching my voice, the little lines that it makes on the audacity, every once in a while if I giggle or something, it kind of looks like a little baby vagina, which is kind of making me giggle a little bit. I don't know why, but it kind of is. That's wonderful. You were saying, Rodan. Okay. So I had while the sprout and I were separated. I had two little incidents and I'll just kind of go them briefly and you guys can make fun of me for them. So. Please. One was with a boy. I met on the manhunt and I was when I was staying in the hotel, the residence in of Monroe. The story gets classier by the sentence, doesn't it, really? And so, you know, online talking to this guy who is from South Florida. And so I'm like chatting with him and blah, blah. And I'm like, so, you know, do you live here? You traveling here? What's going on? He's like, oh, I'm staying in a hotel. I'm like, well, what hotel? And he's like, oh, the residence in. And I'm like, really? And so that's, I'm like, well, that's where I am. And he's like, really? And about, you know, an hour after chatting for another hour about, you know, us being right next to each other, kind of getting each other, kind of like really, really, you know, horny. Hard is the word. Yeah. Hard. And he comes down, knocks on the door and comes in wearing flimsy little shorts and a t-shirt. And he was the cutest little Delta pilot I ever have seen. Oh, yeah. That was the other part of the story. He's a, he was a Delta pilot in town for the night. So did you earn your wings? Hi. My wings. Hi, I'm Rodan. Blimey. Well, I think I, yeah, I blew him all right. Anyway. Oh, we didn't say blew him. We said flew him, but go ahead. Well, I, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. He's making out and stuff, right? And so I'm kind of, you know, please, because this is the first time I have kissed or made out with anybody since sprouts, so this is the first new person I've kissed in seven and a half years and isn't that kind of weird weird? It was very, very weird. Yes. Yes. Well, the, the first guy I kissed after drum moved out was, that was a very weird feeling because I mean, when Rodan backed me up, it was sort of that feeling of I'm cheating. Yes. I shouldn't be doing this. And this doesn't feel the way it usually does. And yeah. Okay. And then like, you know, his tongue was moving in weird ways that, you know, sprouts didn't and you know, it was just different patterns or just different behaviors. It was just weird. And it was cool. And I was all sorts of excited, whereas I haven't been that way in a long time. Because I was, I'm thinking if, if you haven't kissed anyone different in a while and you want to kiss someone different, then I would be thinking that the thoughts would not be, ooh, this is weird, it would be, wow, this is exciting. Well, there is an exciting piece to it. I'm sorry. I'm just talking as far as in my own. Yeah. No, go ahead. I didn't mean to interrupt you, but it is. Of course you did. There is an exciting piece to it. Yes, I meant to interrupt him. I would think so because, you know, it is new and exciting and different and not everybody, you don't know what's coming around the bin, so to speak. Yeah. Oh, I knew. Well, around your bin, bending over the counter. Hey, it was the living, no, never mind. Apparently, there was just got some stories now that, oh, I have a story. We'll, we'll share it later. Okay. So, I'm sorry. So, so exciting new tongue, different places go, kissing and making out and I was, you know, he's a little bit into like nipple play and kind of like wanted a little bit of pain as we went along. Always, always a cat pater. And Lola has shut up for a podcast. Well, so you need us to say the whole thing lasted like it was like two hours. I mean, I don't think, I don't remember the last time. Two hours of nipple play? No, no, no. I was going to say Jesus. That's impressive. And we have title number three. Two hours of nipple play. So, I mean, we're talking like, you know, from the beginning, like of just initial making out to the, you know, clean up. Oh. What else did you get, what was I going to call it? Swallowing. Clean. No, no, no. Oh, well, yeah. There was swelling that happened. Anyways. So, oh, I mean, the other weird thing about the boy, sorry, go ahead. I've been saying that since episode one. Wow, that's true. My nickname in college was in boy whore for nothing. Oh, my God. I forgot about that. We all had key chains made with different nicknames and his was boy whore. That was yours. Diva. Was it really? Yeah. How did you manage to get that one away from Brant and David? Um, I forget what Brance was. I don't remember. I don't remember. I thought yours was Rainbow Boy. No, mine wasn't Rainbow Boy. And did David have? This is so boring, right? Never mind. Go on. So, with your story. Besides, we were like, we all walked around with a little gate. No, key chains. With rainbow flag key chains that all had, we could get them at the kiosk in the mall. We were all like 20 stupid, twinkie. Not bears yet. Not bears yet. He's not a bear. I've seen pictures of all this. And no longer a twink, not quite a bear. Exactly. So, anyways, the other weird thing about the pilot was that he smelled like vitamins. Oh, God. Like, like, you know, when you open a vitamin bottle, I'm talking like everything. Even the end. So the spunk felt like shackly. That's ew. Yeah. So, it was very weird and kind of hard, you know, weird to get through and just it was good. It was good for me. And I liked it. Did you say anything to him about why he smelled like vitamins? I know I didn't want to kind of break up the flow of what was going on. I really like to give me a call, by the way, you have a funky spunk. I don't think that's going to work. You're really hot and you smell like Barney Rojo. There was one stone's vitamin. Yeah, that's what I'm very good right now. No, I mean, there was no expectation that there would be any contact after this. No, nothing. So, I mean, he, we went to breakfast separately with it. He went with his little pilot, co-pilot and stewardess person. And I went to breakfast, you know, by myself. But wait, do you know why you could go by yourself without a co-pilot, because pod is your co-pilot. Thanks. Pod is. Sorry. I was reaching. So, yeah, so that is my July, that happened like the third, second or third week of July. So I haven't gotten any sense. Sorry. Really? No, wait. That's not true. I was going to say that's not true because I remember you telling me about something else, but I don't remember who it was. Yeah, I brought a boy home from the bar and just not really a lot to talk about there, except for he was really, really thin and had a penis the size of a watermelon. Nice. Yeah, it was huge. Merry Christmas. Sounds like he needed some vitamins or some sort of medication. Yeah, I don't know how he stood up straight if he was hard. He was the human tripod or like in high school, how he was able to take a test if, you know, he got hard. I just don't know. Maybe he graduated. Well, I thought it was probably more an optical illusion because he was so skinny. No, no, no, no. It was gigantic. If the shit was hanging to his knees, it wasn't an optical illusion. No, I mean, we're talking nine, ten, nine, ten with, you know, three fingers wide. Nice. Jesus. I know. Good thing. Well, I have told Taylor before that I used to date someone who, my fingers touch each other around my wrist and they couldn't touch each other around his dick. That's a big dick. I'm telling you. Yeah. So this wasn't quite that big, so, but it's funny. Welcome to sex talk with Rodeon. And Taffy, she's such a fucking lady. So yeah, so I, but that was, I mean, that was July. I haven't done anything in a month and a half, but there is a bottom bear who wants to come over to these traveling. A power bottom? Well, he's kind of giving me that impression. I'm thinking, oh, I don't think I could deal with a power bottom right now. Oh. I think that's just too much pressure. I really think you kind of need to after, yeah, after the whole messy divorce thing. Yeah. I agree. Yeah. And you had mentioned to me last night that the movers have been called. The movers have been called. We are targeting a date the last two weeks of September. We're just getting back, you know, back and forth when the truck is going to be in town and when I can be in town to oversee the packing. So you're coming down. So you are coming, but you are coming back down then? Yes. Yeah. Okay. Because I have to oversee the packing. And so I have to take time off to be able to do that because I can't really trust the sprout to make sure that my stuff gets packed. Now you're going to be coming up here to see us? I'm going to try. That would be awesome because I just don't know if I have to beat the truck home or anything or if I can just set a date when they're supposed to be here and I can take my time traveling back up. That would be great. Well, even if you spend the, you know, drive up and then spend the night here, you know, versus staying in a hotel. Yeah. No, that's what I was thinking too, is that I would break up the trip into two segments. Okay. Yeah, definitely do that and bring your Nintendo DS. We'll do. Yes, Taylor. We'll have to create Rodeon on the Wii. Oh, yeah. We don't have a Rodeon on the Wii. So we do not have a Rodeon on the Wii. That's our new project project. Yeah. And by the way, Taffy, you're getting a Nintendo DS and you're buying Animal Crossing because now I am totally addicted to this game. What the hell is Animal Crossing? Animal Crossing is kind of like a club, like Club Penguin. Oh, yeah. But it's where you are playing it on the DS and then you can eventually visit other DSs if you have Wi-Fi set up in your house and I'm getting to that point where I can do that. But I have my friend number, but I don't have any friends yet. So if anybody out there plays Animal Crossing on the DS, send me an email at podasmycopilot@gmail.com and I'll give you my friend number and we can meet up. You are the biggest dork on earth. I am, but you know what? I'm having a good time. That's right. Keeping me from doing things, productive things around the house. And hey, that's all that matters. Exactly. Thank you. No problem. So wait a minute. Don't you? That refrigerator is going to clean itself eventually. Along with the little beans inside of it are going to decide that they want to live in a cleaner environment. So don't you have a story to tell us, Mr. Taylor? I do have a story. I wasn't sure if I was going to share it tonight or not, but you know what the heck. So okay, I have to preempt this story with, from the first sentence of the story, it's not going to go where you expect it to. Okay. Okay. All right. One night for dinner, I had a Stauffer's French bed pizza. Okay. Okay. And then I decide that I too am going to go on the manhunt and mainly the reason that I go on manhunt and I go on gay.com is not necessarily to meet people. It is to talk with Rodan and then we send each other links to pictures and Giggle, but we decide that we're both going to be on the manhunt and what did you say? I said in all these other bitches profiles that are out there that we can make fun of. Exactly. Exactly. So I'm on one night and I get an instant message from somebody saying that they think I am kind of cute. So I'm like, okay, well I'm thinking he's kind of cute too, you know. Get talking back and forth. He decides that he would like to come over or he would like to set up a booty call and I'm like, you know what? That's fine. I can, you can come over. That's okay. It's going to take him about 20 minutes to get to the house. Now at this point, it is about two, two and a half hours after I've had said said French bread pizza and about 10 minutes before he gets there, I start to get what I can only describe as a rumbly in my temple. Oh, no, no, no, where my stomach is kind of uncomfortable and I'm feeling a little bloated and I'm sort of like, okay, now again, listeners, the story is not going where you expect it to go. So he gets, you know, gets to the house, he's still kind of cute. We get to talking, talking leads to a little, a little, a little over the sweater action. And we decide that we are going to fuck and no, not fuck, but we are going to mess around. Okay, now, during, during the course of, okay, so during course of the evening, you are Betty Rubble, by the way, okay, my stomach is feeling more and more uncomfortable, but I'm just figuring, okay, you know what, I'll just, you know, clench my butt cheeks and I, you know, because I'm worried that I am going to fart, fart, for lack of a better word, during this, you know, encounter. So, you know, eventually clothes start coming off, he has an extremely hairy back, which kind of freaked me out, but I just sort of, you know, pressed on, as it were, and we start kind of going to town and everything, and at one point, I am on my back, and this guy is blowing me for, you know, trying to be delicate, but he's blowing me, and I've got this worry of, okay, how bad of a host will I be if I actually pass gas in this guy's face? I'm just terrified. Something tells me that's not covered in Emily post. No, it's not, it's not. And I'm just so worried that I'm going to do this. So, and that's when he takes my one leg and sort of folds my one leg over the other leg, and then flips me on my stomach. So, the visual of this, it's the scene from Purple Rain, because he has a lotion on the bed. Especially considering that we, you know, have already described what I look like, physically people are vomiting all over the place right now, listening to this. So now I am in a situation in which I am ass up with a guy tossing the salad, as it were, scared to death that I am, you know, and it's one of these where it feels really good, but I don't want to get too relaxed, because if I get too relaxed, then we're going to have an issue. So we're, you know, he's doing what he's doing, sort of responding the way that one would respond in that situation. And that's when all of a sudden I hear it, and I hear what sounds like a fart. And it feels like it's coming. Well, you lack the ability to cleave, so what was it? Or cleave. Wow, whatever. Tomato. It's motto. Okay. So, I think that I... You're cleaved. And I freak out and sort of flip over, and I'm like, "Oh my God, I'm sorry." Sometimes he goes, "No, what, you didn't do anything." And I'm like, "Uh, yeah, he did, he goes, "No, he said I did that too." He went... Apparently, what he did... What did he do? Oh, he... He told me this. Yeah. He pretty much gave me a colonoscopy by taking a huge breath in and then blowing into my ass like a trombone. Like a reverse rusty trombone? Like a reverse... Yeah. Oh my God. So, I am kind of like, what he goes, he goes, "Oh, he goes, I just totally get off on watching things expand." He goes, "No." He goes, "This is the thing that I like. Like, like watching somebody pump a tire and stuff." I think I just threw up at my mouth. Oh my God. I'm just sort of like, "Uh, okay, well, I, you know, I'm not really crazy about that, but okay, whatever." So, he... He's like, "No, no, it's okay, it's okay. It's okay." So, I proceed to let him do it a little bit more. Well, he does it a second time. Didn't it feel kind of weird? Didn't it kind of make... Well, I'm getting into that. He did it so hard the second time that it actually made my belly pooch out. I would... That's... Oh. Which hurt like a motherfucker. And that was kind of like the, "Okay, you need to stop. That's, that's not fun." That's bizarre. Yeah. Like he was blowing up a... Like a beach ball. He's blowing up a raft. And riding it down, you know, Lake Bear. There's a rainbow, do me on it. Oh, God. Yeah, it was, it was a little, you know, it was a nice guy. And it was a similar, like, after we were done and everything like that. We sat and talked for a little while and then he left and it was like, "All right, we'll see you around." And it was like, "See you later." And there was no... I'll call you sometime. There was no... Which makes me sound like a completely dirty whore like Rodin, but I, you know, I was okay with it. So... We're gonna have to put it a couple of times on the manual. We're gonna have to put it a couple of times on the manual. We're gonna have to put it a couple of times on the manual. What? This is gonna be one of those podcasts, not safe for, you know, the faint of heart. Oh, I started putting explicit tags on all of our podcasts, don't worry. Yeah. So... So that was my... And that's the interesting story. And that's the interesting story. White, the interesting story. Oh my goodness. Yeah. It was a little, it was a little crazy. Well, I have a little tiny, a little tiny baby sex story. Nothing, nothing as exciting as someone, you know, inflating my ass, but... The tank and I were in the pool getting busy the other night. And we were paying no attention to anything else except all of a sudden, you know how when you're in a pool and you're, you know, moving but not moving a lot, there's a definite rhythm to the way the water is moving? Yeah. Well, we kind of noticed that, and by we, I mean, I kind of thought, well, the water is moving differently. I don't know what happened. And I could see over Tank's shoulder and I opened my eyes and something, we have like a tanning ledge in our pool that's only about eight inches deep where you can sit and like sun tan and still stay in the water. And I noticed something on it. A raccoon was in our pool. You heard kidding me? No. Because I... And did you tell, did you tell a tank by going, "Oh, what?" No, I told Tank because I became Jesus and walked across the water of the pool. It scared the legend out of me. And literally, as I got to the door and closed the door, he like turned around and was about two feet away from it and he just splashed water in his face and just kind of jumped up and walked away. It didn't even really run. Now I'm sorry, but if you're a raccoon and you're that desperate to get into a pool where two people are fucking, I would think that would make you a little skittish. It certainly made me skittish. I didn't want to get in the pool for another three days and I was like, I would just completely freak me out. So yeah, so... Well, you've had all sorts of wildlife in that. We have had a hawk in the jacuzzi. We have had frogs, snakes and now a raccoon. I know. I tell you. Well, we do live, you know... It's like Ranger Rick's fucking jammer. Ranger Joe. Don't. Don't. Yup. Ranger Rick. That was a great book. I used to get Ranger Rick when I was a kid. My daughters used to get Ranger Rick too. They would always have like the mosaic picture, which was really, you know, a frog and a leaf or something. Yeah, I love that book. How did we go from rim jobs to children's magazines? In one quick swift moment. I thought you had a question for me or us. I had a question. Yeah, something about movies. No, we're going to do that in another episode. I want to do it now. No, because neither wrote an or I are ready. Too bad. You gave me a preemptive strike, so you can ask me. I don't think I gave you a preemptive strike because that's the wrong use of that word. I'm stupid. Actually. Thank you for that sound bite. And now that will be every time you sign on to AOL. I'm stupid. The reason that's funny is because, of course, I'm brilliant at that. And a great speller. No, I'm the world's absolute worst speller. There's no question. I absolutely-- Can I? It's horrible. Oh, go ahead. Can I make reference to something? I don't want to get-- it's not a political statement, but-- OK. --and this goes back to-- Remjots? --Taffy. No. No. Taffy talking, making fun of me earlier today because I had gone to a McDonald's earlier this week. And I completely forgot about this, but I'm looking at my list of possible topics to talk about. I saw two guys that were clear-- there were military that were in McDonald's in their dress. OK. Army. The suits that are very-- Well, they blew her green. --of the 40s. They were green. OK, then that was Army. Yes. That was Army. And these-- I walked in, and I mean these two guys-- and I'm not talking like on it. They were hot, but I mean, it took my breath away just to see these two guys that were dressed this way. Absolutely. And they had their hats under the arm and everything. These two guys couldn't have been older than 18 years old. Yeah. Mm-hmm. And it's one of these where I just like-- I mean, they got their food, and they were gone. And the time that I actually stood next to them was maybe a total of about three minutes. But I couldn't help but just think about these guys just how young they are. Young they are. I mean, these kids that are going over there are like babies. Yeah. Yes. When you consider-- I mean, you know my daughters, they're three years older than she is. That's disgusting. I mean, to me, it is as a parent, as a former wife of someone who was in the military-- I mean, Tank was in the military-- it's very disturbing to me that they're that young. But you know what? There's a lot of guys that truly, truly love the military life. And that's what they're bred for, and that's what they want to do. But at 18, it just is very scary. Yeah. And I just wanted to-- I mean, I was just thinking about these guys, and I thought about them occasionally over the last couple of days, and I just felt like I needed to say something about them. But I will tell you that little boys and their dress greens and dress blues-- oh, yes, yes, yes, yes. Thank you. Oh, I mean, they were very-- I mean, it wasn't like where I was all leering at them. No. They were just-- They were just both very-- They're striking. Well, they weren't-- they weren't bears. They were tall and skinny, so why would I have anything to do with them? Shut up. But no, they're very striking-- They're striking in their uniforms. Right. Like piercing blue eyes and the dark, short hair, and it was just a very-- it made me very-- like, it was one of these where I was sort of like-- You kind of wanted to salute them. Well, I wanted to-- well, I wanted to buy them their lunch, and they had already paid for their lunch. Like, it was one of these that if I had gotten there a couple of minutes before, I would have said it's on me. Mm-hmm. You know, just-- I don't know. I just felt like I needed to say something about that, and that's pretty much all I have to say about it. Well, that's good. But you know what else I want to talk about? What? It's leaving your house earlier today. Right. Excellent. Are they good reviews? Yes, they are good reviews. We're still at the five-star reviews, and we just would really like to continue seeing people put their reviews up. And should I announce what you and I talked about earlier today, Tapi? I don't know. What did we talk about? A certain number of reviews. What will happen? I think that's an exceptional idea. OK. Um, once we get 100 reviews, which I know will be a very long time from now, but once we get 100 reviews, I will put my picture on the podcast on the-- A picture of your face? I will put my picture on the blog. A picture of your face? Yeah. Face pick. Yes, a picture of my face. I don't think I can put a cock pick on blogger, nor would I want to. No. I agree. That's because by your own admission, you said you were hung like a fourth grader, so hopefully it's not a good idea. Oh. Actually, it was hung like a second grader and a fourth grader, you're giving me too much credit. Well. But is it bigger than a baby's arm? Holding a tomato. Oh, God. Holding two. Oh, Lord. Oh, my goodness. OK, so real quickly, did you happen to catch the first hour of The Biggest Loser? No. Well, I did, and I'm going to just-- I'll tease you with this. Two of the girls, we would punch in the face. There's always at least two girls that I would punch in the face on that show. And they're probably best friends, right? No, not yet. They're going to be friends. They'll probably will be friends. But the one girl, the whole entire time I'm watching it, I'm like, oh, my God, she's John Goodman. Oh, my God. She's John Goodman. Because even the littlest stuffington went, oh, God, she's so annoying. She was this whiny, just, oh, I hate women who act like that. No, but there are some boys that when you're watching it, you'll say, when he loses weight, he's going to be really cute. You know what I mean? You can kind of tell. And Allison Sweeney, well, she's pretty good. She'll like her better than Carolariah. Oh, I like Carolyn Ray. I liked Carolyn Ray. I did too. But I actually like Allison Sweeney. I thought she did a great job. So who knows? Well, I will give it a chance. And next week, America's Next Top Model? Oh, I know. I can't wait. And something else starts next week. Heroes. I can't remember what it was. 24th. So that's not next Monday. But the following Monday. That's right. Oh, and I've seen Bionic Woman. That's Wednesday. They have it for free download on Amazon Unbox, Bionic Woman, Journeyman and Chuck. How's Chuck? I haven't watched Chuck yet. I only watched Bionic Woman last night. And Bionic Woman, the pilot is a wee bit disappointing, but it looks like there's so much potential there that it's definitely going to be worth. Well, they're saying that they're on-- the production has suspended on that because they're going to retool the show. So I don't know if it's that they-- I was listening to-- I think it was Pop Trash Radio said that when I was listening to it last night. Yes, there was this big controversy that the gays are going to have this big conflict because Bionic Woman would be awesome, but yet the guy from Grey's Anatomy, who made the, you know-- Isaiah Washington. The inappropriate terminology that, you know, Jerry Lewis just used his frickin' telephone but whatever, that the gay community is an uproar of whether or not they're going to watch Bionic Woman because he's on it. Yeah, I mean, I heard-- and gay community is pretty much the folks who would really support the big, you know, strong woman kind of thing, but, you know, the flip side of that, you know, in terms of shows that have stopped production, ugly Betty did it, Grey's Anatomy did it and so do brothers and sisters, all of which have become big hits. Yeah. So I think they were saying it's not necessarily a bad thing. It's more to just make sure that they've rited the ship to meet the expectations. Do you-- I'm going to watch the-- I'm going to watch ugly Betty this season. I love ugly Betty. I think it's a great show. Great show. Yeah, you really missed out last season. Yeah. Yeah. I'm going to try and rent the first season on DVD and watch it, and I'll just keep a T-load and then as I catch up with the season, then I'll just-- I'll catch up. Oh, yeah. It'll be easy to catch up on those episodes because they-- Vanessa Williams is incredible. Yeah. And they go down nice and smooth. Yeah. Well, I've always adored Vanessa Williams. Well, she's fantastic, and it's-- so is America Ferrera. Yeah. Yeah. It's a very good show. I only watched one episode. I watched it at Rodan's house at a New Year's Eve, so-- Oh, yeah, that's right, because I made you. Yeah, you made me, and I was sort of like-- that was the night that I was trapped-- --in the body of a white girl. At your house, because-- yes, because I was trying to leave to go home, and there was a bad accident on an alligator alley, and I wasn't able to leave, so I had to turn back around on an alligator alley to go to West Palm Beach, and I had to spend the night. Not that I didn't enjoy spending time with you, but I was sort of in a bad mood, and you made me watch it, and I was like, this is a dumb show. Whoa, wait. Taylor was in a bad mood? What? I'm not in a bad mood very often, anymore. Last night you were in that mood. Yeah, that was still when the breakups-- last night I was in a bad mood because I was getting calls through dinner. That's because you were on call. That's not the point, but it was stuff that other people should have been handling. That's why I was pissed. Sorry. But I ended up having a good time after I left you. I met up with two-- Oh, that sounds nice. I ended up having a good time after I left you. No, I didn't-- [LAUGHS] Fuck you. You. [LAUGHS] You're a mess. I just meant that I went and, you know, went to Starbucks and had my latte, and then was up till two in the morning cleaning up my briefcase. You had a pumpkin latte the first of the season. I did, and it was an iced latte, which was really good. I've never had the iced latte before. I always get the hot latte, but it's still too hot down here to get a hot latte, so I got a nice one. Because we live in hell. We do. Why do we live here? I'm in Louisiana. I'll show you hell. [LAUGHS] Do you realize we're at 48 minutes? Yeah. Yeah, I was going to say we should probably get good. And we're just rambling, though, anyways. We are just kind of rambling. So as always, you can email us at potasmycopilot@gmail.com. Go to our blog at potasmycopilot.com, or be our friend at myspace.com/potasmycopilot. And keep those reviews coming, because we all want to see Taylor Space. Oh, and vote for us on that blog thingy. Yes. Because I'm the only vote so far. What? There was no votes yet. That's sad. Well, you haven't voted either. You don't know. I do know, because it said zero votes. [LAUGHTER] And then I voted. And then it said one vote. [LAUGHS] I think he's kind of got you there. Fine, then I guess I'll have to vote. He's dim-witted, but not that dim-witted. [LAUGHS] Well. All right, guys. This is Taylor. And Taffy. And Rodan. Have a good week, everybody. See you later. Bye, guys. [MUSIC PLAYING] [MUSIC PLAYING] [MUSIC PLAYING] (upbeat music)
