You're listening to Pot As My Co-Pilot with Taylor the Latte Boy, Taffy Carlisle Huffington, and Rodin, and now part two of episode 24. So do you want to hear how I made $45 Friday morning? Is it legal? It is legal. It's just a little weird. Okay. Pray tell. I signed up a couple of months ago, and I actually have talked about this on the blog. I signed up to be a subject at a place called Hilltop Research. Are you getting genetic manipulations? It's come to this, where I'm letting people experiment on me for money. But you know, used to be for drinks now it's for money. I get a call a couple of weeks ago saying that they have this study coming up where they want to give people $45 to try this foam, some sort of skin foam, and I have to test the smell, and I have to make sure, you know, and I have to take, answer all sorts of questions, all that sort of thing. Is it like a concept of foam? No. Yes. Yes. It's for my, you know, vagina. They applied it directly to my vagina. Anyway, it is, so the only times they have available are 6.15 and 6.45 in the morning. I said, I think I'll take 6.45 please, because, you know, I don't like getting up. I start work at eight, and I'm lucky if I get up at 10 of eight. So getting up to be someplace at 6.45 was just crazy to me. Plus I'm on call again this week, and I was worried that if I got called like to a death in the middle of this that I was going to have to leave and then I wasn't going to get my money, but I'm going to get paid for the visit anyway, and it was just a big deal. So I'm like, you know what the hell I'll just get up. So I get up and get there, and oh, and they also said that because it is a odor test or whatever, I'm not allowed to wear any sort of lotions, deodorants, colognes, powders, hair products, anything. Nice. Okay. Yeah. So I, when they called to confirm the morning, the afternoon before, I said, can I at least shower, you know, and they said, oh yeah, you can use shampoo and soap, but you just can't come in smelling like anything. And I said, okay. And they also said you can't smoke, which I said isn't a problem because I don't smoke. So I get there at 6.45 and I sign in and I sit down and then, you know, I'm number 12. So they, you know, they give me the little index card that says 12. So they come out and say number 12, I go back and then they have to ask me all sorts of questions to make sure that I actually read through the paperwork that said what I was going to do. And I made a mistake the first question because they said, okay, why are you here? And I said to try out a lotion and it wasn't a lotion, it was a foam. And the woman got this panicked look on her face like, oh my God, he didn't read it. And I said foam, foam, it's for a foam. And she said, and what's in it, and it has coal tar in it, which I was talking to a co-worker of mine and it's for people who have skin ailments, it's supposed to help, you know, clear that sort of thing up. So I'm standing there talking to the person and then another, and it's all old ladies running the thing. It's all these little old ladies and little white lab coats. So another woman comes over and she says to Geraldine or whatever her name was, can I talk to you for a minute? And Geraldine says, yeah, sure. So they walk out of the room and they're standing right by the door and they're saying they're whispering the word he a lot and I'm thinking, okay, what did I do wrong? I don't have anything. I don't have any deodorant on, I don't have anything going on. So eventually this other woman that's dressed professionally comes in and she says, yeah, hi, my name is Lisa and I work for Hilltop Research and we just have a concern. And I said, okay, what's the concern? And she says, we smell cigarette smoke on you. And I said, okay, I don't smoke though. And she said, yeah, is it possible that you could be living with somebody who smokes? And I said, not unless one of my dogs is taking up smoking. And she goes, well, we smell cigarette smoke when you came in and that could be a problem because if you smoke and I said, I don't smoke. And she kept like not believing me, eventually I said, if you want to smell me to see if the cigarette smoke is coming off of me, that's fine. So she comes over and she stiffs me and she goes, okay, it's not you. And I'm like, yeah, I know because I don't smoke. So eventually they finished the paperwork that I signed, you know, signed my life away in case if I go into, you know, if I have a brain hemorrhage when they put this lotion on my hand that I can't sue Hilltop Research. And I go into this room and there's four old ladies standing around this one old man who was completely denying smoking as well until Lisa comes in and says, well, is it okay if we smell your shirt? And then he gets mad and he walks out. So apparently he was the smoker. Yes. And it sounds like a fairly common issue that they have. Yeah. Yeah. And as he's walking out, they're all going, I knew I smelled something smelled. Yeah, it smelled funny. I smelled cigarette smoke. Smelled, smelled, smelled. So they keep talking about how this old man smelled as he's walking out the door. Nice. So they take us into this room and we all have to sit in a particular order and they put, draw these little squares on our left hand, our right hand and our left arm. Okay. And we all have to do this, you know, in time where they have three different bottles that have foam on them and they spray one on each hand and on the arm. And then right after they spray it, we have to smell all three really quick and we have to say which ones have, you know, the best odor, the worst odor, the most pleasant odor, that sort of thing. And it has to be done within a minute. So, and it's me and like three little old ladies that are taking the test. So I knew enough to look at the paper ahead of time. So I knew what my answer is, you know, where to circle certain answers and that sort of thing. These are the three women were in a state where they're going, you have a minute, go, go, you have to do within a minute. You have to do within a minute. The one old lady was like, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh. So after this first minute, they make us all stand up, which I thought was kind of weird. Well, that's because they have four more old lady, you know, laboratory techs, whatever, that then have to smell our hands and smell our arm. Okay. So we all have to stand up in a row and it was the creepiest feeling to have these little old ladies standing an inch away from me and you could feel their little old lady breath like on the hair on your arm and the hair in your hand because they would hold your hand up really, really close and then they would write a number down and then they would hold your next hand. And one lady in particular, I don't know how she could have smelled any of the smells that I had because the garlic wafting out of her pores was a smell to be reckoned with. So you're making up and then what you would do is after she would smell me, she would look up at me and look me right in the eye. It was the creepiest eventually I just had to look away because they did it three times where they came and they smelled everything and then they looked away and I just couldn't take it. So then I had to write comments afterwards and, you know, I said that the one in particular they asked if one of them was non-pleasant why you thought it was non-pleasant and I said because it smells like an auto-mechanics garage and it had a really dirty oily smell to it. So they thanked me for my time and sent me on my way and apparently now I'll get $45. Congratulations. Thank you. That capital one is pleased that I've decided to donate my body to science. Yes. Now, you know, I don't know if you ever heard about this but where you could sell your plasma and I always thought that was like a myth, like people didn't actually do that. You know, you just donated blood and plasma if you wanted to. But they actually have a plasma donation center here near the university. Really? Yes. So, and it's always packed. There's people waiting outside like almost every hour of every day. People are packed in a little building selling plasma. I would donate blood but in Florida I'm not allowed to donate blood because I kiss boys. Well, that's not a Florida thing. That's a federal thing. Is that a federal thing? That's a federal thing. They still don't understand that, especially in Florida where at least to the latest of my knowledge, heterosexual HIV contraction was much higher than men for men. So it makes more sense that, you know, and they're going to test all of the blood anyway. So I don't understand why they would exclude the gay boys and lesbians are allowed to donate blood. Those bastards. Lesbians. We love our lesbian listeners. All three of them. Lesbians generally don't like me much. Lesbians don't like you? No. I've never really. Lesbians having like, well, my one friend in college, but she was crazier than a shithouse rat. So I wouldn't take that, I wouldn't take that as all lesbians hating you. Here is my four lesbian haircuts story that I told at the lesbian bar and we had to leave shortly thereafter. You told a lesbian haircut story? No. Refresh my memory because I don't remember that. You're right. I think it was called chili peppers and I was saying, you know, I made some comments about how all lesbians have three haircuts or I think it's like four haircuts. Oh God. I remember that. Like chili peppers. Are you talking about the lighted tree? Well, I think that's what it's called now. But at the time, it was called chili pepper. It was only opened in chili pepper for like three months. Down at Pasigra. Yes. Okay. Yeah. That was originally called the lighted tree and then I think they called it chili peppers. Oh, that's right. You did make the cut. Oh, lesbians do hate you. Okay. I know. I think I'm on some black list because I'm not. I mean, whenever I tried talking to a lesbian, they pretty much shunned me and sending me away. And I think they just know that I said that there's the pixie, the Melissa Etheridge and well, mostly back in the day, you know, that and some other hair. Yeah, they still have the same hair. I work with lots of lesbians and yeah, they all still pretty much have the same hair. So yeah. So I think every time I see one that they know that I told that story and they hate me. Okay. Great. Great. So I am still on my quest to finish all of the daily purge episodes. How many where do you have? 35 more episodes but I started out with over a hundred and I've been working on this for weeks. Well, I listen to maybe two a night and I enjoy it. Well, while I'm doing other things like I'm washing dishes or cleaning the house or walking the dogs, walking the dogs. Yes, because I got yelled at earlier because apparently I wear my iPod when I walk the dogs and dangerous. Yeah, it's I am really enjoying it. It's a wonderful show. Some of the things they do on there are genius and they're very smart and it makes me feel kind of stupid as a podcaster. This is a podcast or not in life. No, in life I have you for that. Thank you. It's sort of like it's sort of like the tag team where you sign off to them and I listen to them on my iPod and go, yeah, I should be doing more. So what can we do more? We should have our listeners send us what exciting new segment would you like for us to discuss? Yeah. Move your reviews. We could do movie reviews. We could do. We can't do how much do we love because that's another podcast. I know. And that's the how much do we fucking hate macaroni grill and waiters that look like Clay Aiken. Oh, so he wasn't there the other night then we did not see him. No, we did not see him. Okay. I hope he's gone to. Yeah. Did we tell that listeners if you have no idea what we're talking about send us an email so that we know so that we can tell you the Clay Aiken waiter story, but I come on it's positive. And yeah, so and tell us what kind of segments that you want. Maybe we'll do another poll. Okay. And by poll, I mean. Poll dancing. Yeah. A poll up your ass. Yeah. Again with the anal sex. We did. We're all about anal sex here. How does my co-pilot? That needs to be the title. That needs to be the title of the 24. We had our first poll and we asked who you would like to hear more of and with six votes out of age, which is kind of sad, but you know, I think the poll wasn't working for a long time. Yeah. I had a couple of people say, you know, we're trying to post and we can and it says it's not allowing us to access it. So you never know. So, well, drum Riley Calhoun, so he'll be on a future podcast and the big ball one. Yes. Ball B-A-L-L-D not B-A-L-D. L-D. No, he has a thick chestnut bush. Again, another type of thing, he has a thick chestnut bush. Yeah. So we want to do new things and we've talked about doing some other future things that we're not ready to share just yet. Experimental things. That makes it sound like, again, anal stuff. Anal fisting? There will be no experimenting with that. I am a lady. We've discussed this. As are you. Because I'm so am I. There'll be there'll be no of the fisting. There'll be no safety cones in our future. But speaking about the weight, I was running around because I don't have a washer and dryer here, you know, but my big house on the bayou, which I don't need anymore. Okay. So I went to laundromat today and, well, I was on underwear. So I just put on pair of shorts and a shirt because I didn't want to dirty up a new t-shirt. You know, I normally wear white undershirts everywhere, don't ask. So, you know, I just put on a shirt, put on pair of shorts. Did you just say don't ask? Yeah. Just why would I ask? I don't know. You know that, no, that's something I do since I was in high school. Anyway, so I went to the laundromat and, you know, doing laundry and stuff. And I somehow managed to forget to put on a belt. And oh, no. And as, you know, over the last few weeks, it's gotten to be easier for me to just kind of pull down my pants and, you know, like, it's like go to the bathroom and stuff and, you know, without like unbuttoning them, you know, it's just kind of got to that point. And I don't even think about it. And so I'm like doing laundry and stuff and, you know, realizing that my pants are gonna fall down. So I'm like catching them all the time, right? So I finished laundry and I'm, okay, and I'm thinking, I need to go to Target. Oh, I went to Target thinking I could do a Target run without, you know, just real quick. Okay, I mean, I didn't look cute. You know, it's like, wasn't wearing my cutest outfit or anything to go to Target. I didn't look cute. Oh my God. Sorry, I'm thinking about going to the club split tonight. Anyway, so I, you know, run into Target and I'm picking stuff up and putting in the cart, right? Because I bought a microwave finally, yay, $35 made in China. And I'm sure I'm going to die because it's going to kill me because it's going to leak formaldehyde or something. But oh, again, happy thoughts. Okay. Great. Made in China. Really cheap. I, you know, so I'm picking up the microwave, right? And all of a sudden, I'm starting to feel the cold, crisp air of air conditioning on my ass. Oh God. So as I'm like bending down and like putting the microwave in the cart, my pants start to just, they're just running away from me. So I'm like, so what did you do? I'm like, I dropped the microwave, which, thank God, no one saw, but because it was like, I was like, yeah, two, three feet off the ground, like just dropped it and trying to catch my shorts and I, oh my God, because I don't go around like commando normally. So I don't understand how to act and do or I don't know if there's special rules, but God, I'm just like freaking out and I'm all embarrassed and I had to get a different microwave because I dropped the one, I don't want to break the plate and I had to go find another microwave. So you went and picked up another, so you left the broken microwave there because you almost showed the world your ass? Well, I think I did show some of my ass. I just don't know. I'm sure someone on a security feed has a picture of my ass because the end you dropping the microwave and me dropping the microwave. So the next time I go to Target, when they put me in handcuffs, now you know why when I'm saying, can I have $500 for bail? So God, why didn't you just go buy a belt? I wasn't thinking about that, I was thinking I could just, I thought I could just pull them up to my belly and it would be fine and they would just keep falling down. I am rock hard right now thinking about that, thank you so much. So the whole rest of the time I've like got my pants, you know, like cinched in my hand as I'm like pushing the card around with the other hand kind of in this panic mode that I'm going to show some poor family, some poor Christian family, my big white ass. So yeah, so I came home and I never did put on a belt. But as I'm like, you know, not microwaving, as I'm vacuuming except out of vacuum today too, as I'm vacuuming, I'm like vacuuming and all of my pants fall, my shorts fall down again like that. And I tripped and fell on my face. So I didn't learn my left-- Shut up, you did not. I was just like vacuuming and I don't have any curtains or anything either. And so my pants fall, I'm like vacuuming, reaching, and then I go to step forward. And you know, because I'm a little gimpy still. And so I'm like, bald my knees, oh my God, it's one of those like, and I'm still walking around with my shorts, you know, no belt, no underwear. Put on a belt! What I'm going to put on a belt right now. Well, I'm going to go shower in a minute and go party at the clubs, the one gay bar in Monroe, one gay bar that can fit like 50 people in it, but still, that means nothing. So because again, you're fresh meat. Exactly. And they like I'm husking in Monroe, apparently. God. So what is this going on? It's back to school. My life this week, that's everything that's going on in my life. And this was my first day, it was my first day going into actual schools. After having the summer. As opposed to pretend schools? Summer schools? Fight me. Yeah, this was the first day that I had a couple of schools, a couple of elementary schools, met with one kid that I met with all summer, who's very, an interesting young man. And we played Jenga, but I had feeling words on the Jenga pieces and when you pull out a piece, then you have to look at the whatever the word is and talk about something, an example of when you felt that way. And I seem to recall a game of Jenga involving several characters from this podcast that involve you and Mountain Woman being naked sitting together. First of all, no, it wasn't Jenga. Was it Jenga? It was Jenga and we wrote the truth or dare things on the blocks. And secondly, we were not naked. We both had to change tops. That was it. And her sweatshirt, she had on my sweatshirt. We sort of took away from the excitement considering it was in the mountains and it was 40 degrees outward. It's not like we were in, you know, evening wear or anything. It was just like 11 o'clock in the morning. There was nothing else to do. Let's play Jenga. It's strip Jenga. That'd be fun. Like strip twister. I'll write those words onto the Jenga pieces and then, you know, take that box into school and so the kids can actually talk about anger or take off my pants, which I do. Yeah. And then I can be arrested. Like what kind of words do you have on there? Like if I was playing this, if I drew a block, what's the word that would be on there? Anger. Things that make me angry? Something that makes you angry. Oh, John Goodman. Okay, I see the... Something that makes you angry. Something that makes me angry? Say some stupid people. Stupid people. Okay. Want something that makes you angry? Same thing. Yeah. Yeah. Stupid people would probably be at the top of my list. Absolutely. I... People who are late. That's probably one of my biggest ones. I'm a big fan of the punctuality, so... I'm a big fan of the punctuality as well. Sometimes... And if you're going to be late, call and say, "I'm on my way. I'll be there in 10 minutes." Not this where you sit around and sit around and sit around and make somebody show up. That pisses me off. You know, if I listen to this podcast and I didn't know me, I would think of myself as absolutely a type A personality. Do you really think you're not a type A personality? No, I know I'm a type A personality. You're getting me. We're a couple of type A personalities. Really? Who's another one? Vacation. Because I do happy words too, so it's not the tower of Jenga gloom where you pick a word and it's... When you say vacation, does that mean a pass vacation that was really fun or something I should like to go? Vacation. Vacation. The first thing that comes to mind is vacation? Yep. Oh. Mountains, hills, snow. Do we have any new Myspace friends? Yeah, we do have a new Myspace friend and we were going to talk about our new Myspace friend. First off, we have Allie and Allie's from Australia. That's awesome. So, G'day Allie, that was the worst Australian accent I could possibly do. I bet she has a pretty down end up. I'm sure she's never heard that one before either. So yeah, we have on Paul and Paul is from the San Diego, I believe. Or San Diego, which of course means a whale's vagina. Paul wrote us an interesting comment on our Myspace page, which I'm about to read. He's from the Los Angeles area. Interesting is a word. Oh, are you going to read the whole thing? I don't think we should give him that much airtime. Um, no, I think I'm going to because it's the most interesting. Backhanded. Backhanded compliment. I think we've ever gotten here. It's my go-pilot. Okay. And this is it. I was about to give up listening to you guys until episode seven interrupt us when Rodan gleefully told the story about the peak of the night. I laugh so hard. I don't know. Maybe I was laughing because Taffy's laugh was so contagious. So I lay and laughed harder. I could still hear her sudden gasp. After that episode, your guys report came natural. Thank you very much. Thank you. Then I told myself, okay, now they are funny. Before we were merely tolerable. I am on episode 15 now with your guest host. There are parts that are boring, but I can easily forgive now thanks to episode seven. I can sleep at night now. There are occasions Rodan sounded like Raymond and everybody loves Raymond. Oh, God. Maybe remind me of that girl who played assistant to Kirsty Alley in Veronica's closet. I believe her name is Kathy Najimi. Yes, I googled it. She was a nun together with Whoopi Goldberg. When I think none, I think me. Do you remember what her name was on Veronica's closet? Not a clue. Olive. Oh. Again, useless information. Exactly. Thank you. Taylor somehow remembers that character in Willing Grace Beverly Leslie, Karen's Mortal Nemesis. Now every time I look at you, I'm going to picture you in a white suit as a midget. Well, well, well. Beverly Leslie? Really? Really? Really? I am the Karen Walker of the podcast. So that would make sense actually, but you're not a nemesis. No, that would make you more Jack than Beverly Leslie. Again, a small midget in a white suit. Benji, he was so big. Good. Are you finished? I guess I'm finished. No, I said go ahead and go ahead and finish. Well, I need to give you guys a face when I listen to you. Those are the mental pictures that bubble around me. But now I've noticed that- First of all, I've noticed that Paul has taken his picture off of his and- And if I made the comment, like, we're going to be posting, talking about your picture. Yeah. And his quote is something by Mother Teresa about don't judge people. Kiss my ass, Paul. Okay. First of all, we would never tell you not to judge anyone, because if we didn't judge people, you would be listening to this podcast. Thank you. Thank you. Secondly, we'd like to thank you very much for commenting. Yes. It did make us giggle. And apparently made drum- It made drumming his fans. Yeah. So you did bring some laughter into our lives. Can we call you Beverly now? Um, will you be able to do that with no teeth in your mouth? That's funny. Kathy and I Jimmy would never ever talk like that. Child abuse is fun, domestic abuse is even funnier. Funner. Most funnier. Most funnier. Most funnest. We can move to Kentucky where it's legal to beat your wife. What? Oh, yeah. I haven't heard Tank say that. Woman, we're going to move back to Kentucky where it's legal for me to hit you. It's really not legal to beat your wife at Kentucky. Okay. I can't imagine that being appropriate. Fun. Just not appropriate. So those are our junior Myspace fans. Unfortunately, we did not get any new reviews this week. I too. Well, that's definitely a guaranteed motivation to make them want to leave reviews for us. Thank you. That should be the new motivational things, the curves. You suck. Fatty. Are you out of breath yet? You've only done one exercise. Right. Chocolate is the devil. Exactly. Boys won't love you. Fatty fatty two by four. Can't get through the sauna door. They have a son of them? No. You know, I have understood the appeal of sitting in your own sweat, quite frankly, the whole dry heat. I don't know. It's just, I'm sure to those who now like the eucalyptus steam rooms where you can sit and your pores are open. Okay. Fine. But to sit in your own wall or in your own. In the eucalyptus rooms, aren't you pretty much sitting in your own sweat? Probably. I know. I guess it's because when you walk into a sauna, all the wood benches are dry. When you get up, there's like the little half moon, bay, gross little, I, it's disgusting. The whole idea of it's gross. I know. It's, it's awful. I went into this sauna like when I was, you know, 25 and I said, oh God, I never need to go here again. I became low. I was just like, oh God. No, no, no. But I love the steam rooms. They're okay. Pretty much. Have you ever had sex in a steam room or a sauna? No. Have you? That's like a shocking comment. I made out in one. I never actually have like penetrative sex. That's right. Is that like groupative sleep? I'm a Christian. I just let him stick it in my ass. Like when Lindsay Wagner talks about the sleep mattresses, she goes, I know because I wasn't getting enough recuperative sleep. I'm like, who the fuck says recuperative? I have no idea what recuperative sleep is. I barely know what sleep is. I barely know what sleep is. I'm recuperative sleep. I don't know. It would be to recuperate. Oh. Great. Oh. Oh. When are we going to have Mal and woman back? She's actually talk this time, bitch didn't even open her mouth at the time. Okay. I'm sure she's going to be beating down the door to come and talk to us. Yeah. Again, the motivation to come. Bitch didn't even open her mouth. Work on that. I will. I will tell her. Apparently, we might be having a weekend excursion coming up soon. So maybe you will not be able to attend, but there's a chance I might attend to maybe we'll be doing a roving taffy interview podcast with Mountain Woman and Lola and Drum. And John Goodman might be there. Well, that is going to be my concern is that if John Goodman is there, then John Goodman is going to be saying, what are we doing? What is this for? And then you're going to have to tell her and then she's going to hear that we called her a big fat whore. I could tell her it's a deck of cards, but you have no clue. Why are we talking into the deck of cards? That's the way she talks. I don't understand. Did I ever tell a muscle story? Yes. Okay. We never told the big story though. That's going to be our Christmas episode, a very special, but it's my co-pilot. We have one big story about John Goodman and it's amazing. We are saving that nut for... Yeah. That's going to be like the 50th episode or something because stay tuned. We can assure you it's worth every day. You have to wait for it. That might be told in a round robin style, very Rashomon-esque. That may have to be told in a round robin style. That'll have to be you and I and Lola and Drum because we were the witnesses and accomplices to this story and oh, it's very bad. And we have art that can go with it as well. We just might have to black out some things. Oh, God. And by things, I mean her face. And not her couch, which makes an appearance in the art. That's all we're going to say about that one. All right. Well, I think that's it. That's it. I mean... People love us, but we're done. Yeah. All right. All right. Well, so as always, you can go to our blog, which is potismycoapilot.com. You can email us at potismycoapilot@gmail.com, or you can go to our MySpace page, which is MySpace.com/potismycoapilot. Backslash. Backslash. Backslash. Yeah. So this is Taylor. And Tappy. Bye, everybody. Bye. Bye. [MUSIC PLAYING]
