Pod Is My Copilot
PiMC: Episode 9 - Tell The Latino Leather Daddy He Can Go Home
FINALLY! We're back - but not without some slight technical difficulties.... Anytime we talk about Math within the first 10 minutes, you KNOW we're in trouble. Rodan has good news...and bad news...Taffy makes fun of Taylor, and oh yeah, Taylor pulls out not one but TWO more embarassing stories this week. I'm tired, so just sit back and enjoy....Pod Is My Copilot....
[music] You're listening to Pot as my co-pilot with Taylor the Latte Boy, Taffy Carlisle Huffington, and Rodin. [music] Hi, this is Taylor the Latte Boy, and you're listening to episode 9 of Pot as my co-pilot. We're back, bitches! Woo-hoo! Woo-hoo! I am joined, as always, by the lovely and most beautiful and talented Rodin. Oh, hi, hi! Taffy's here, too. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Kiss my ass. So, how are you guys? We miss everyone. I know. It has been driving me crazy, not taping a podcast the last couple of weeks. Oh, yeah. That's a short trip. Dealing with Taylor over the last couple of weeks when he's trying to work, yes, no. It's better to be able to just talk out to the ether and not get responses back. So, he needs an outlet. I do need to know. I need to express my feelings in an appropriate forum as I write in children's notes all the time. As I stated on the blog, what feels like about nine months ago, I had some computer issues and have been going back and forth as far as trying to figure out what kind of computer I want and if I wanted to buy a Mac or if I wanted to stick with Windows Vista, I ultimately decided to stay with Windows Vista and we'll probably end up cursing myself when I take the Mac back later this weekend, but for now, it seems to be working and we have figured out a way to tape the podcast using both Rodan and Taffy's computers and I will be in charge of editing. So, we're so, we're so electronically, what, superior? I don't know. Savvy? Yeah, that's, that's the ticket. There's only one thing worse than someone who thinks that they're technically advanced and that's someone who's partially technically advanced. And we're all partially technically advanced, I would say, so because any psychopath can come up with two plus two and come up with five, Jesus, I don't know. Well, you know, the, I know, I know, I know, I am, I am, but you, you have to understand, I am a complete math atheist, the idea of taking one number and then adding another number and then pull if we have a brand new number is, and then you get into things like, you know, fractions and multiplications and then quadratic equate, I don't understand. I have to have my freshman try to explain to me what quadratic equations are and by, you know, the second step of the, of the concept, I was going, kill me, just kill me now. I'll just run a knife through my head because I want to kill myself. I can just picture you like eyes glazed over drool coming out the one side about. I don't understand, I, I never have when I was in high school and I was in college the whole idea of math in general. Now geometry fine, chemistry, great, but physics, chemistry, chemistry was a worse chemistry was just memorization. There's, that's a no brainer. I mean, you know, that no, with the periodic chart and the, these numbers mean the number of neutrons and these numbers mean the number of electrons or whatever. Yeah, that was that's memorization, though, could not work. I could not wrap my, but yeah, but then when you had to add certain numbers, you had to add elements. And then when the numbers got added, they changed and became another element. And yeah, that I couldn't do it. But things like algebra and quantum physics, but that is magic. You know, when you add in letters, it's all bullshit. You know what it is. And the whole, I just, and the whole idea of this is the problem. This is the answer. But that answer is wrong because you didn't go through step one through twenty four to get the answer. But you know what? I got the answers. What difference does it make? Well, no, we have to say steps. Shut up. It's wrong. Talk about it after two weeks away, we're going to talk about math. Apparently. So, I don't want the trigger to taste a gun in the middle of my mouth. In other words, like asking you for the square root of 81 is kind of like asking you for the square root of cat. It's nine. Okay. She had to think about it for a second, though. No, I didn't. Yes, you did, because I had to think about it for a second. Okay. Tell yourself that. Daily, you're trying to change the subject. Keep on moving. Okay. Oh, anyway. So computer, I finally have a computer. The computer seems to work. We're back to the computer again. Yes. Wow. Yes. Again. It's been two and a half weeks. What have been the show notes? The last computer update. Let me just talk about it for three more friggin seconds and we'll be done. Okay. So, I'm sad. Am I will be done? He means for the next three and a half minutes. So finish. Please tailor. I can edit both of you out and talk about computer issues for the rest of the episode. And that's all of your listeners will go away as well. Yeah. We're listening with baited breath. No, no, no, no, no, no, talk about whatever you want to talk about. That's fine. I'm done. So, so we're dead. He goes and gets a computer and we stand there and we look at it and he decides, you know, maybe I don't want this one. So now he's thinking of taking it back, but he's probably going to regret it anyways. Well, at this point, I mean, there's no way to be a hundred percent happy with the decision because it's, it's just all mucked up. So if Bill Gates himself came into his office, created this fabulous new only for Taylor. How is it that I'm not allowed to talk about my computer right now? The two of you can talk about my computer. Because we know you're seething on the inside and that makes us giggle. That it really does make us giggle. Wow. We're sorry. We'll never say another word about your computer again. Welcome to Pada's My Co-Pilot with love a head and drum Riley Calhoun. That sounds better and better every time we tape one of these. Yeah. Okay. You love us and you know it. I do love the two of you. And that is the only reason that I put myself through this every single week. Do you realize, uh, Rodian, that if you and I were like morphed into one person, we would be the perfect person for Taylor to love? Oh, yeah. No, absolutely. And if we wanted to be the perfect nemesis, it would be both of us and his sister. Whoa. That is true. And then, and then it would just be like, you know, are we really going to start talking about families? Because I got shit on both of you. I didn't bring up family. He did. That should be the, that should have been the original name of this podcast. Let's torture Taylor. Yeah, let's search Taylor. He is a troubled, twisted soul. And we just twist it more. When it comes to suffering, he's right up there with Elizabeth Taylor. Okay. So, give your last computer update so we can move on. I'm done. I'm done. I have a computer. I can't play City of Heroes on it. It's the one thing that bums me out. Okay. You can play City of Heroes on it. That's what I just said. I can't play City of Heroes on it. No, you can. You just have to do the little thing. Sprout had to do something similar for World of Warcraft. And it was like three seconds he was done and he was up and running. So read the little form thing and do it. So it's not that he can't do it, it's that he's not willing to do it. Yeah. I'm gonna get through. Oh my God. They're talking about me again. Like I'm not here. Stop talking about me like I'm not here. Oh now she's making sense. If you don't stop talking about me, I'm gonna leave. I'd love to see you try. Okay. You've lost me completely with whatever reference that is. Ah. Still make noise. How did I lose that reference then? What kind of homosexual are you that you don't know? Are you lying from Steel Magnolias? I have no idea. Taffy's a bigger homosexual than you because she knows every line from Steel Magnolias. You know that I am a drag queen trapped in a normal girl's body. I just can't help it. Normal girl? Well, guess my ass. Anyway, so Rodan, yes, I've had quite interesting week. You have had quite the interesting week. You've mentioned little bits and pieces of it on the blog, but I think for those of us that don't check out the blog, why don't you tell everybody what's going on. Okay. So last week, Thursday, it kind of starts there. I was flown up to Louisiana for a day of job interviews where, you know, we missed the airport because of the landing strip plates, the guy who was in charge of turning them on, apparently went home early before the last three flights arrived. And when I got to Monroe, finally, I find out that this isn't the first time that this happens. They're on a regular basis where they have to divert flights to Shreveport to refuel and come back once they get ahold of whoever it is who turns on the lights. Once the cow throws the circuit. Yeah. Because he wondered out of the field. Yeah. The planes in this airport go to two places, Dallas and Atlanta. That's it. So it's not exactly the most urban area. Good lord. Sorry. Yeah. Apparently Taylor has not figured out how to use the mute button yet. So anyways, Monroe does not exactly have the biggest airport and sign exactly the most urban center. It's a little country. And apparently you say it as a Munro Munro. So it's not Munro, it's Munro. Like the guy from too close to comfort. Oh my God. We have a Jim J. Bullock reference, ladies and gentlemen. Okay. Not in the eye. Oh. I have Queer Duck in my head. In my head now, too. Okay. So anyway, so I had a full day of interviews flew back the next day. Oh God. I can't get too close for comfort out of my head. Oh Lord. What was the name of the puppet quick, quick. What was the name of the puppet? Oh, the cow. The cow. The cow. Was. Cosmo. No, what kind of? Cosmic. Cosmic cow. Cosmic cow. Okay. I need help. We were close. Cosmo cosmic. That's pretty damn close for a 70s TV show that we watched only in syndication. Okay. So anyway, so came back Saturday, hung around, did nothing. Sunday decided to be productive. I got my fat ass up on the roof. I was cleaning. I was spraying the stuff on the roof. I was up there for about an hour, decided to come down. What stuff were you spraying on the roof? It's a. Oh God. No. It was a GSP. I decided to be productive by masturbating on my roof. Oh. Okay, so sprayed the stuff on the ceiling on the roof, decided to come down, let it soak in before I rinse it off with the brand new pressure washer we bought last week, coming down the stairs and I'm about four steps down. I'm thinking I'm about six steps down out of my eight step ladder. So I just kind of like hop the rest of the way. Yeah. I was about five feet up in the air, land on the ground, pop, pop, goes my ankle. Oh Lord. And I roll on the ground and lift my leg up and my foot just flops. You should be on scars. So yeah, so I broke my ankle in two places. But the worst part about that is that I was stuck. It was we call an ambulance or we get some buddy to help. And if anybody knows where I live, it's not safe to ask somebody for help. Because I'm a, I'm a cried in the ghetto and so sprout calls his boss who's nearby who, you know, I have not met yet. So I get to meet him. I'm wearing, I have not showered since Saturday because I'm going to be up on the roof and we'd be sweating, blah, blah, blah. So it's like noon. I haven't showered. I'm like in it just a t-shirt and like a ratty pair of gym shorts and sweat and porn and down. I'm in pain. I meet his boss for the first time ever who is a leather dad? We decided today that Taylor is a power bottom, but go ahead Taylor wishes he was a power bottom. That's exactly what he said. So they carry me in. We have a title like episode Taylor wishes he was a power bottom. Go ahead. So Latino leather daddy comes and gets you. Latino leather daddy comes and gets me. They shove me in the backseat of my car and drives my car. Latino leather daddy follows us and then apparently we just kind of leave him. I just didn't even pay attention. He came into the emergency room and waited for like an hour and Drought and I were just hanging out, you know, and I like room waiting for someone to pay attention to us and he's out there, you know, just waiting. That was nice of them though. It was very nice of them. And so eventually I remember he's there, sprout completely forgot. I'm like, go tell a little detail of the daddy can go home and go tell them God actually that actually the title of this episode. So basically, isn't he Eric Astrada? No, no, no, he looks now here in a ponytail, he looks like a Eric Astrada. Maybe Eric Astrada now, but so yeah, anyway, so I'm in a, you know, emergency room and they forget what room I'm in. They apparently put me in a completely different wing of the hospital than where the emergency room rooms are supposed to be and they forget about me for an hour and a half. Oh dear. I'm in pain. And every time a nurse does come in, which is, you know, random in about 30 minutes apart from each other, they're like, oh, that looks painful. How do you do it? Oh, I'll go have someone bring you some pain meds. Yeah, no one ever brought me pain meds. It wasn't until they finally wrapped my ankle and made me walk on the crutches until they brought me a pain meds. Nice. My arm and shot beat, you know, they put, they gave me a shot and the place where they shot me hurts more than the pain med came pain killer killed pain. So, and how many of those are you on now? A couple. And I finally got, you know, they split me up. They send me home. I go to the doctor on Wednesday and he yells at me because apparently they didn't tell me the things to do right. And I hadn't been lifting my leg up high enough, which, you know, is not an only problem for me. But hadn't been lifting my leg up high enough and my foot had gotten swollen so they have to wait till Monday to operate. You know, between you and Taylor, you both have had leg problems this past year. Yeah. At least yours was, at least yours was self-inflicted. Yeah. Well, that's some random seas. And by the way, Rodeon, just so as a side note, Monroe, Louisiana is the birthplace of Delta Airlines. Yes. And the first place they bottle Coca-Cola west of the Mississippi. I know. And there. I have looked this up. They have an average population of 145,000. Now, considering there's a million people that live in Pinellas County, I think that's pretty cool. And their average temperature is 65 degrees. This place is sounding better and better. Actually it's actually a nice place. It's very country. And we're country, y'all. We're country, y'all. But everywhere I went, everyone was so nice to me. That's because you're the first gay person they ever met. They probably thought you knew Ellen. No. There's a gay bar. There's a gay bar in Monroe. And it's called-- Really? Monroe's. It's called Jim J. Bullock. No. It's called the Bangkok bar. Oh, no. Yes. Well, but the bar we have here in Palm Beach County is called-- Roosters. Roosters. Oh, my Lord. Oh, my Lord. Help him. I'm trapped at a cockfight. [LAUGHTER] So yeah, so-- oh, but then-- so all this happens. And on Tuesday, I get an offer from the company in Monroe. Excellent. Congratulations. Yes, it's wonderful. So I am no longer jobless. I'm just waiting to start my new job. When will you be making that move, permanently? Not sure yet. We have not quite decided. The relocation package is very, very complete. Like, they pay for everything. And they give me cash in my pocket, so-- That's awesome. Yeah, so I'm excited and freaked out all at the same time. So the last time we had to make a move, we had two weeks' notice to make the move and plan everything out. Now I've got, like, eight weeks' notice. And I have no idea what to do. And all I can do is lay here and obsess about it, because I'm on total bed rest until the operation. Now when is the operation going to be? Monday at 1.30. OK. Yeah. And apparently, I'm not allowed to drink anything from midnight until 1.30. That's standard. That really knows me. I know, but midnight to 1.30. I have probably a gallon of water in that time period every day. So I'm going to be a miserable bitch by the time I get to the operating room. Poor thing. Yeah, sorry, I know, right? Oh, I have to just lay here and watch DVDs for the next week and a half. Oh, God. Oh, God. I know. So what did you say to me the other day on Instant Messenger? Who? What was that conversation that we had? Were you asking me some question about a sequel? Sequel. Oh, about Conan the Barbarian. Oh, my God. Random. Now, is the second Conan the Barbarian supposed to be better than the first one? Because that's what comes up on my computer screen. I'm like, are you kidding me? Is that Kevin Sorbo? No. Who was he? It's Arnold Schwarzenegger. No, it's not Conan. It's got-- OK, the second one has Arnold Schwarzenegger and Grace Jones. Awesome. And she plays some half man half man half man. She's not like Nubian Prince out there. Yeah. Who wears, like, Pelt around her butt or something? What other character would Grace Jones play? She's not going to be the sexy receptionist. Let's get her real. No. Grace, the only thing I-- Grace Jones, I just remember her from Boomerang. Oh, see, I don't remember from Boomerang. Strong J. You two kill. I remember her from a view to a kill from the James Bond movie. When are we going to fuck? Oh. Strong is saying pussy. Pussy, pussy, pussy, pussy, pussy, pussy, pussy. Oh, that's a good movie. Oh, OK. Love Poots. Yeah, so steal vagina after bath. Bath? No, bath. B-I-O-T-H. Do not make fun of me. I don't even know where to start. It stinks so good. I don't either. Yeah, so I've been watching DVDs pretty much nonstop just to try to catch up with my hundreds of thousands of DVDs that I've got. Love Poots. Anything good? Besides, you know, gummy bears. No, I haven't watched any gummy bears. I haven't done any TV shows, just movies. I watched Oklahoma yesterday. Because we've been down to the playing. That's right. And the wave and wheat, it sure smells sweet when the wind comes right behind the rain. On the rain, yes. And the lazy-- or hawk-making lazy circles in the sky. I was in Oklahoma, by the way. Not the state, but the show. I was too. What role did you play? I was Ado Annie. I was Ado Annie. And I was just a girl who can't say no. [LAUGHTER] Yeah, I can buy that. Can't seem to say it at all. Of course. Yep. Yeah. All the songs and half of my-- almost all my lines came back to me as soon as this show-- Oh, yeah. I was like-- Did you do a lot of musical theater when you were in high school? No, that was the only musical I was in. Because I really can't sing. Oh, god. I love musical theater. Go figure. So I did a lot of theater in high school and college. I've been out a lot of musical theater. Taylor, did you ever do musical theater? I did in elementary school. I was the-- I had a rival in elementary school. Oh, you know what? I believe I have heard this story. Please tell it. Rick Brown, who was one of my friends. And he is now an editor-- I think he's an editor for Lifetime TV up in New York City now. Please don't sue us, Rick Brown. Go ahead. I'm not saying anything bad about him, but he was always the one who had theater in his blood growing up. And he was always the one who got the leads in all of the plays, right up through high school. Like he was the fiddler on fiddler on the roof and all that sort of stuff. But when I was in elementary school with him, we did our first thing that we ever did was a Christmas carol. He was Scrooge, and I was an instrumentalist. So I played instruments in the orchestra, a pit, or whatever you want to call it. Right. And then-- What did you play, triangle? The only thing that I remember playing is the thing that kind of a shaped like a fish that you rubbed the stick at the woods wood, and you rubbed the stick against it. Same thing as triangle, yes, go ahead. Yeah, it was pretty much, yeah. I had a very important role. Yes, the show could not have-- The show could not have gone on without any of you. Anyway, so I was in that. And then I also was-- and he was Scrooge, like I said. And then we did George Washington, a man in his times. And he was George Washington. And I played King George the third. And I had a purple cape and a crown that I wore. Over with my Tuscan jeans and my Philadelphia Eagles t-shirt probably. That's your war last week. So I still have the cape. My mom made the cape from scratch. So I still have the cape and a box in my closet in my room. And then we did Robin Hood. And I wanted to be Robin Hood so bad. You did a little John. He got to be a kiss my ass. He got to be Robin Hood. And I ended up being Sheriff of Nottingham, which pissed me off, except that-- and this just speaks volumes as the type of person I was as a child and how this has followed me through adulthood. I went through the script and counted all of the lines. And I ended up having more lines than Robin Hood did. And I was in every scene but one. So in a way, I feel as though even though the play was called Robin Hood, it was really about the Sheriff of Nottingham. And my mother made me an orange tunic out of felt with a little tiny yellow and orange shield. And I still have that as well. Please tell me you were tight as well. No, I wore jeans and probably my cowboy boots. But I talked to my jeans and the cowboy boots. They look like actual boots. And may have had construction paper around the top of them. So they look like the folded over. So-- OK. This is why, again, I love your mother. Yes. Yeah, I know exactly. I may have to take pictures of my cape and my tunic and post them on the blog. Only if you're currently wearing them with a jig. I can guarantee you I can wear the cape, because the cape would just have to fit around my neck. The tunic, I look at the tunic sometimes. And when I'm like, don't clean it at my closet. And then I find the box and I go through it. And I'm just sort of like, I can't believe I was ever this size. Because it's tiny, tiny, tiny. And I am, how shall we say, not tiny, tiny. But I also remember during the final night of Robinhood, when you do when you take your bow at the end. And I remember walking across the stage. And even halfway walking our stage realized I'm walking like Shirley McLean accepting a lifetime achievement award. I pretty much did. I just did. I pretty much did a motherfucking runway walk across the stage. And then did the big bow and probably an eric. And how old were you when you realized that you're walking like Shirley McLean? Last week. It was like, that was fifth grade, because it was a fifth grade flight. OK, so yeah, you've been gay since-- I've been gay since first grade. I'm sure I was gay when I was first grade, because I remember having a big old crush on Robert Credit. Who in middle school was the first boy to get chest hair? In sixth grade, he had chest hair. Wow. And all you wanted to do was lick it. I don't think I wanted to lick it, because I didn't quite understand why I would get these funny feelings in my pants when we would get changed to the gym. Oh, god lord. Now, he was very, very cute. Total Guido. Total, total Guido. Was he a Gody boy? He was a Gody boy. He was a Gody boy, but circa 1984, '85. Oh, lord. Who was your first crush on Rodin? A guy named Jevin. Jevin? He was-- yeah, he was blonde. He's very cute. He's in the military now, though, so. But yeah, he was very militaristic, most of his, like, in high school and everything else. But when we were in middle school, he was just so cute and so nice and pretty. Pretty. He's pretty. He sure had a pretty mouth. Who was your first same sex crush on Taffy? I never had a same sex crush, except with you. [LAUGHTER] That's not very nice. I'm sorry. You're right. I'm so only supposed to be nice. I forgot. Yes, you're supposed to be nice. No, my first crush crush was with Johnny Cole in the first grade. And I could remember my mom had really, really long, straight hair. My mom would put it up in a bun. And I would chase him around the playground. By the time I was done, all my little hair would be falling out of my bun. And I always had to have the little white sweater that, like, had the one button by your neck. And when I would run after him, it would flare up behind me like a big cape. And I thought that was cool. So you were a drama queen, even in first grade? Yeah, you're special. But now I had a big crush on Jennifer Hands too. So it wasn't just-- I must have been by when I was in first grade, because I always like Jennifer Hands. And I like Jennifer Hands all the way through up until about middle school. And she was very wholesome and very-- she was very nice. Did you ever get to, like, kiss her and dance with her or anything? Did you ever ask her out? Well, OK, this is another one of these embarrassing stories. But I'll admit it anyway, because what the hell? Jennifer Hands is the first person that I ever did drag for. And it was in first grade. And it was in first grade. We were going to do any-- Did she ask you to do this or do you just volunteer to do this? No, I don't remember how-- it probably I volunteered to do it, because I thought it would be funny. Put makeup on me. We were both huge, Olivia Newton-John fans. And for the-- which, right there, anybody you do. I was gay if you did that. Who are your favorite people? Olivia Newton-John and Stevie Nicks. Yeah, that should have told anybody then. So we did a talent show for our class for the end of the year, because we were all going to middle school and all that sort of stuff. So we decided that we were going to sing "Summer Nights." Or we were going to lip sync "Summer Nights" for the class. But she ended up dressing up like John Travolta, and I dressed up like Olivia Newton-John. But that pretty much meant I put on a poodle skirt and my cowboy boots and my jeans underneath. And I swear, I think I just had on a creepy wig. And that was it. Because look at you, you're Sandra G. Of course, now I'm just trying to picture that with you now. No, it works. It works. Now, again, I looked like I ain't fine. But you have to believe you are magic. Nothing can stand in your way. They have the billboard-- She just walks in, and I'm suddenly a hero. They have the billboard up for Xanadu. Where? Yes. They have the billboard up for Xanadu in Times Square. Oh, I think it's going to be a tampon. I'm like, what? No, no, no, no, no, no, in New York. Yes, I know, because the cute cast of boys are going to go see it. They found a way to get tickets for half-price. So they are getting to go for about 50 bucks a pop. And I am so jealous. I'm so entirely jealous. Hey, I'm not the one who was blowing a cop before Mr. Well, actually I have. I didn't know he was a cop. He was saying he was an insurance salesman. Oh, OK. I'm as a tellser. You blew a cop. And you thought he was an insurance salesman? OK, all right, all right, all right, OK, OK, OK. Now this is-- we are, we are, Larry. Well, I have a question, I have a question. What's he in uniform? So I am online one night. This is back in my AOL days. And I set up a booty call with somebody down at the Sun Coast Resort who says he's in town for a couple of days. And he's, you know, so I'm like, all right, fine. So this, so I go-- I leave my roommate-- my poor roommate, Amy, because I was constantly always, like, leaving her alone in the house at, like, two in the morning to go. You know, I have random booty calls with random people. So I go to this-- Always a safe choice. Yes, I go to this guy's room, and we end up doing what people do on booty calls. So-- Bad fucking. I know, there was no-- Oh, there was no-- You weren't there. You don't-- I mean, there was no bad fucking game. No, no, no, because I think this is pre-cherry being popped, right? So fast forward to about six months later. And I-- 34. No, I only had one. I only had one, because he said he was from out of town, and he was insurance salesman, and all that sort of stuff. So I said, OK, fine. So-- Because clearly, since he's not an insurance salesman, he was telling the truth about all that. So fast forward to about six months later. And I am working for the city-- I shouldn't say the city I was working for. I was working for a local city in their senior center. They had a senior center, and I was-- the one who would set up for P. knuckle tables, and set up for bridge tables, and everything, so they could do these evening activities. And then I would close the place up at night. Well, I was feeling really under the weather, and I was driving home, and I did like a-- I didn't-- I sort of yielded at a stop sign rather than then stopped at a stop sign. So all of a sudden, I see the cop lights behind me. I pull into a parking lot. The cop pulls up behind me, and he is a city cop. So I said to him, you know, I was coming, and he said, well, did you see the Germana star in the stop sign? I said, yeah, I said, I'm not feeling well. I work for the city. I just closed up. I just want to get home. This is my boss's name, blah, blah, blah. So he says, OK, and he goes, you look kind of familiar to me. And I sort of looked at him, and didn't really think anything of it. I just sort of said, oh, OK, maybe we've seen each other at staff meetings or something like that. So he takes my license, and he wanders off in the back. And I'm just sort of sitting there, and then eventually it comes back up, and he says, do you have your city ID with you? And I said, yeah, I handed my city ID, and he looks me, and he gets this look on his face. Like all of a sudden, he realizes who I am. And he says, well, I'm just going to let you go on a warning. He says, but just stop it every night, and just get home safely, and I hope you feel better, and all that sort of stuff. And I said, OK. And he goes, I couldn't help but notice you have-- because I had a cartman sticker on the back of my car. Because the zoom shot was pretty big. And I said, yeah, and he goes, oh, I'm a big fan of him. Because the little cop respects my thigh thing. And I said, yeah, and he goes, that's actually what I have on my computer. And he just sort of says, he focuses on my computer. And I went, oh, well, OK, well, have a good night, officer, or something like that. And I start to pull away, and I realize it was the insurance salesman. Oh my god. But he apparently didn't want anybody to know. So I have had sex with a cop, which has always been a fantasy of mine, and I didn't realize it. Now, I would have sworn-- I thought he was one of your regulars back when you were-- Well, I didn't have his mastercard number, if that's what you mean. No, he was not one. He was a one-time fang, which kind of sucks, because he was kind of hot. But alas, no booty calls. No more booty calls. Yes. Yet. No, we were talking-- Rodan and I were talking a bit that earlier. I'm probably not going to be doing booty calls very often. Very often. Very often, thank you. Not the night you weren't going to use this. Why are we talking about my booty calls? Because it's better than talking about my booty calls. Talking about my booty calls back in the day. Oh my god. Yeah, right? He was classified by the Navy as a friendly port. [LAUGHTER] It was more like, four day and not row day. Oh, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, right, huh? OK, hey, tax year, questions week. I do, but now I'm thinking about vastly changing it after all this. OK, my question for-- well, my question actually was job related for you. It was going to be a job related question. And I wasn't sure actually if I had asked it before, but it just seemed like it was apropos, was that if you could-- what would be your dream profession to have other than the one you have? Because I think Taylor would say the one he has. Didn't we kind of answer this question during the first episode when we talked about-- That's why I thought we might have covered that. Why don't you ask another one? Yeah. Fine. I think I shall. Fine. I can't believe I told a booty call story. OK, if you had to actually accurately guess the number of partners you have had since you turned 21, how many would it be? Well, because usually what you do before you're 21 probably doesn't count too much, or maybe it should. I don't know. OK, since you're 18, how's that? How many? What would be your number? You know how everyone has their number? What is your number? Well, I kept a list, so I know the exact number. But I kept the list since I was 16. OK. Well, probably give it-- well, why-- Taylor can go first. You only asked if we could guess them if we knew the number. Yes, I can guess the number two. But I don't feel comfortable telling the number. Oh, OK. I told a story about below in a cop tonight. I think this gets me off the hook for a question like that. My number is pretty small. My number is 7. Well, what's your number? Yeah. My number is 21. Well, I've been married since I was 21. So I would hope it would be somewhat small. So you've been sexed with six people. Prior to getting married, yes. In your 21st year? And it was all at the same time. No, no, no. No, no, no. Oh, if I were 21 on, then it would be 1. OK, that's what I was going to say. I was like, what did you pull a train on? [INAUDIBLE] Yes, that's what it was. Her bachelorette was just one big orgy. No, my number is over 100. And then only one for the last seven years. Well, that doesn't seem ridiculous. Not for a gee. She's saying that while she's trying to find her eyeballs on the desk and she's [INAUDIBLE] No, actually, I know women who've had 100 partners. So I really don't think that that's ridiculous. And by the way, I have started a new thing on our website. It's called The Definition of the Day. I have just posted one, just for those of you who need to go look right now. So there is a definition of the day on the blog. I had to look up the definition of something that I sort of knew what it meant, but not really. And now I know. And now it makes me giggle. You're an ass. A power bottom is a man who enthusiastically takes it up the butt. He enjoys it, never winces, and is aggressive participant, and usually begs for more. They are a treasure and must be showered with admiration. [LAUGHTER] [LAUGHTER] Oh, god. I think our bottom is so bad. What's prohibiting you? OK, why? I need a top for that. [LAUGHTER] Hey, you keep telling stories like this. You don't have them lining up at the door. Somebody on the pot of my co-pilot, one of the episodes recently said, if you're looking to get laid, start a podcast. [LAUGHTER] [LAUGHTER] Wow. I think-- go ahead. Do we want to talk about anything else tonight? I'm good. [INTERPOSING VOICES] We can't talk about blowing a cop. I'm pretty much blowing the load, so to speak, so. Oh. OK. So how about if we wrap things up and then do the question podcast tonight? OK, that's fine. So what we're going to do is we are going to say good night for now, but we are going to continue recording. We're going to record our question episode and release that later on in the week. So it's a two-for-one this week. It is a two-for-one. There will be the very special episode, which I haven't decided if we're going to call that one episode 10 or if we're just going to say the question cast or something like that. But we'll figure that out later. And actually, real quick, I think anybody who's listening probably should go back and start over. And every time one of us says, OK, or so-- Oh my god. They'll be plastered by the first 10 minutes of the first podcast. A pod is my co-pilot drinking game. I love it. Rodan, you were in charge of making the official first thing in on the blog, which is OKSopodcast.blogspot.com. How sweet. Or you could be our friend at MySpace.com. Or you can check out our ever-growing and ever-popular blog at-- oh, no. What did I just do? I'm sorry. Once again, she chopes at the-- I chubed the helm. All right, re-rined. You can email us with your wonderful questions and lovely, lovely comments for all of us at podismicopilot@gmail.com. So for the cast and crew of Pod is My Co-Pilot, this is Taylor. And Taffy. And Rodan, see you guys later.