Creative Pep Talk
026 - Why It's Not Working
Hey y'all, just a quick heads up. The episode you're about to listen to is 8 to 10 years old. Now these episodes were intended to be evergreen and I still believe there's a lot of good information in these early episodes, but I do want to let you know that some of my ideas have evolved over time. Times have changed since we made these episodes and ultimately I'd like to think I've grown a lot as an artist and a human and that these don't necessarily represent my best work or the best of the podcast. If you're new around here, I suggest starting with the most recent episode or at least go back to around 300 and move forward from there, enjoy the episode. Okay, it's time for another pep talk, time to get stoked out of your minds. It's the creative pep talk podcast with me, Andy J. Miller, I'm an illustrator with a background and graphic design and things, other things, I guess, and I'm really excited about today. Of course, you know, I've realized I've kind of gotten to my groove with this podcast and I've kind of realized that I want to be saying the things that I feel like are being said to me, you know, like I want to say what I feel like I'm needing to hear the things that I'm learning or reminding myself of the truth that I need to hear now and try to just pass that on rather than, you know, taking a topic and trying to rip on that. I want to, you know, just, I want to like be in that moment and I want to make this almost like a journal of the things that I need to be thinking about. I need to be hearing and then passing along to you and maybe in some kind of weird serendipity or synchronicity, you'll be needing to hear the same things that I need to hear right now. And so that's kind of what it's like. I feel like that's where I'm at. Maybe it'll change, but right now, that's what the podcast is like. And so this is literally the podcast that I needed to hear today and that, you know, I feel like I've been getting these messages in all kinds of different formats throughout the week. Just the, just the stuff that is kind of ringing true to me, stuff that I need to work on and yeah, that's, that's what this is. Let's get straight into it. Before that though, however, I just need to mention that you can find this on illustrationage.com/creativepeptalk. I love my partnership with them. There are some great people who run that. So today's episode is why it's not working. Now that is a title that I would want to listen to because I get so obsessed sometimes. You know, I love my career in the commercial arts. I love making art. I hate doing other things for money and so, you know, I'm always wondering, you know, the things that aren't working in my, in my career, the things that I'm not happy with, I'm always wondering what is it that isn't working and, you know, I found myself in a place recently where some of the things that I've been trying to do just are not progressing in the way that I want them to progress and it ends up, I end up becoming obsessed and I thought of that Oscar wild quote which is we kill the things that we love. We kill the things that we love and I think that that is so true and it got me thinking about it. I almost named this episode "You've Got a Dead Mouse in Your Pocket" which has, it's been a long time since I read it but it's, you know, of mice and men, there's a character Linney and he has this pet mouse and he loves the mouse so much that he squeezes it to death. You know, it's like, I feel like so often that is my art. You know, I love it so much, I want it so bad that I squeeze too tightly and it dies, you know, or you dissect it. You know, if you dissect something, it dies on the table and so if you're just, if you're too obsessed, if you grasp too tightly then your practice dies and it can't breathe, it can't live, it can't flourish because you're strangling it and that's what this episode is about today. This episode is about why it's not working. Maybe you're just a little bit too obsessed with it working so I've got five things I think here that I think are things that I've been trying to work on, things that I'm always trying to remind myself of and when I pour, when I get in the morning and I get into this place, I get these things aligned, man, I'm so much more productive that day and I'm so much more giving that day and my experiences with other people, whether it's with clients or students or family or whatever, I'm present and I'm giving them, you know, I'm stamping that day at the end of the day with like I did what I was supposed to do this day and that feeling is such a liberating feeling and it's so different than trying to push a boulder up an everlasting hill that never, you know, that never ends and you feel like you're struggling and, you know, I said this on the other podcast, I've been thinking about this so much this concept of like spinning your wheels or flailing, it's like if you push the gas too hard, the wheels just spin or if you're out in the ocean, you're stranded, you have to find that place where you're racing as you're swimming as fast as you possibly can but not so fast that you're flailing because then you're stomping and it's about finding that balance and I think that that's what this episode is about is that going as fast as you can, pushing as far and hard as you can, working hard, being dedicated but not going so overboard that you end up spinning your wheels instead of going somewhere and I feel like so often I find myself in that place, that busyness, I'm like so busy doing nothing and I feel like if we would just tear back the stuff that's getting in the way, clear our motives, get some self-awareness, get some distance from these obsessions and interests in our own desires and work that actually will be way more productive if we approach it that way and, you know, obviously this is my creative pep talk, I feel like sometimes I get on here and I'm preaching man, you know, and I feel like so often that could sound, that could sound, that could come across like I'm trying to talk down to you but honestly, this is, it is a self-talk, it's like I'm trying to motivate myself and try to preach at myself to like come on man, like get this stuff together and it's the, and I want to almost put it down in this podcast as like a journal, like remember these things so that you can actually implement them so it's just as much for me as it is for anybody else, it helps other people like, you know, you guys are writing me and stuff and saying that it is helping so I'm super grateful for that but if all that I achieve is remembering some of these things, I want to remember and work on these things that, you know, I'm always having to work on then that's fine too. I'm a believer in the idea of dressing for the job you want, not the job you have and I have applied this to my creative practice too which means if you want professional results, you need to present online like a pro and that means going beyond social media and having a professional website that reflects your style and looks legit. I rebuilt my site this year with Squarespace's fluid engine and was so happy with how easily I could build my vision without coding that when they approached me to support the show, I jumped at the chance because I love and use this product so go check it out Squarespace.com/peptalk to test it out for yourself and when you're ready to launch your site use promo code PEPTALK all one word all caps for 10% off your first purchase. Thanks goes out to Squarespace for supporting the show and supporting creators all over the world. Hey, in case you don't know, we have a monthly live virtual meetup every last Monday of the month with supporters of the show from Patreon and Substack. We have so much fun on these calls and they are the warmest, most encouraging creatives that I have ever met and we also talk real creative practice stuff. We have authors, illustrators, lettering artists, picture bookmakers, fine artists, musicians and folks that work in video and film as well and we have people that are just starting out, people super established in their creative careers and everything in between. For the rest of this year, we're going to chat through our new Journey of the True Fan series exploring questions and ways to apply these ideas to your own creative practice so that you can leave 2024 stronger than you came in with more visibility connection with your audience and sales. Sign up to whichever suits you best at either patreon.com/creativepeptalk or AndyJPizza.substack.com and I hope to see you at this month's meetup. Alright, let's get on with it. Number one, this is a point that I said in my short little talk, I did an icon conference in it's get a life. Get a life and I, you know what, here's the first thing I want to just clarify, this doesn't mean, this doesn't mean go party. Alright, I'm not a party person. I'd rather take a bath than go to a party and that sounds like ridiculous but it's actually true. And I've always felt like this weird, whenever I hear people have this social pressure to like be at the scene and have fun and be wild and let your hair down and all that stuff. I always think like, I don't understand what the pressure is to appear like the type of person that's wild and crazy. That doesn't appeal to me, I don't understand it, whatever. That's not what it's about. That's not what I'm saying. I'm not saying get a life like go out into clubs on Friday nights. I'm not talking about that. I'm talking about how your life doesn't exist within your work. Your life is everything other than your work and your work should be about life. Your life shouldn't be about work. And my thing that I keep going back to, I don't think I've ever ever heard anybody say this. I think it's just something that I don't know kind of occurred to me. But correct me if I'm wrong, an artist without a life makes lifeless work. If you don't have a life, you can't tell stories about profound relational experiences if you don't have any. I feel like so much of this episode is about tearing down these false narratives that the culture has told us that, I don't know, that we think an artist is. And I think sometimes we think of the artist as this person locked in their studio day and night, the hermit artist that is just pouring away at the canvas over and over and over. And I just think no. I think we know those bands, right, who took a whole lifetime to write their first album and it was brilliant because it was based on life. And the second album is failing because it's about music. The next album is just about music. And I think about this all the time. Art about art for other artists is so lifeless and dead. And I think it's so easy to get in your little, you know, online communities and start trying to like, I don't know, just making that art that you know, that your peers are going to like, you know, I'm guilty for that. You know, like I, more than anybody do I love when I make something and in one of my, you know, a hero from five years ago is liking my stuff online. You know, I'm guilty of that. Like that feels great because it's like validation from someone you respect. But sometimes I think like, it goes too far where you're like, you're making work to please your peers instead of pleasing, you know, people, you know, like, I like this idea of like making something your grandma could appreciate. You know what I mean? Like, I feel like so often we have that art about art for artists. And it just, and it dies on the table. It doesn't lacks that life. And I feel like if you're only, if only thing you start to enjoy is work, you're not having a life. This weekend, you know, I've had a busy year and I'm super grateful for that. But I, I've had a busy year and this weekend I had a, my first real like proper weekend this year. You know, I've had days off and stuff here and there, but a real weekend. And I found something, you know, I was dissing video games two weeks ago even. So just saying, you know, I'm busy, I got kids. I just don't see the value in video games in this point in my life. And the funny thing is, is that, you know, on Saturday, I was just in that. I was so, my mind was just full of work. And you know what I did? I sat and played Mega Man for an hour and a half or something like that. And it like unlocked my brain. And I always think about it's important. If you love your work and you love doing this stuff, it's important to spend time doing things that make you not want to go back to work. Like, I'll explain that. So, you know, I say this to, I've got someone who's close to me who has a really time, a really hard time resting or taking breaks. And I just thought, like, look, like what you need to do is you need to go on vacation those first three days. You love your work. So the first three days is going to be hard to let go of your work. But you need to go on a long enough vacation to where you don't want to go back to work. You need that feeling. You need that feeling like I would rather be living life than working. And I do think we need to work hard. We need to work, you know, it needs to be a big, the biggest part of our lives, you know, our work. I don't believe in like being idle and that stuff. But I feel like you need to get in that place where you're a human and not a worker. You need to have that space in your life where you're just a person. And the joy you're getting is not from accomplishments or achievements. It's from your kids. It's from your relationships. It's from your friendships. It's from your family. It's from enjoying a meal. It's from enjoying, you know, an experience or a book or, you know, something that has nothing to do with your work. Because if you don't have in those experiences, your life will be dead. And I just told, and this is for me, because I get, I think the hard part is if you want to do art full time, you've got to give it everything you've got when you're in the moment. It's like, you know, okay, pro athletes have to give more. I'm not going to compare myself to them. But just as an example, it's like if you want to win the gold, when it's time for the race, you've got to be there and everything's got to be there. You can't be thinking about other stuff. You've got to be in the moment, in the zone. And I feel like commercial art is competitive and art is hard to do. And if you're going to do your real work, your best work, when you're there at the page, you've got to give it everything that you've got. And the hard thing that happens is when that, when that, when it's like, you know, it's like when you're in that battle and the battle's over, it's hard to take your mind out of it. Because you just, it's hard to switch gears when the game's over. It's hard to switch gears because you, you went so hard that direction. But if you don't make any, if you, if you're not intentional about switching gears, I really feel like at least for me, if I'm not intentional about it's weekend time, and I need this, even if I feel like, you know, I'm so, it's, even though it's a hard thing to do to switch gears, I'm going to, I'm going to make the effort. I'm going to like, I'm going to switch gears from the work, and now it's time to, to do life. And I have to do that every night, you know, I have to get into that zone. And I think that intentionality of, I need a life, I need to, a life outside of, and don't let that be dictated by culture or by whatever. Don't let, don't be a life be, make it your own thing. Because for me, it's like, my life is about my kids. It's about my wife. It's about my extended family, and a few really close friends. That's what my life is about. But that'll be different for you. And that's okay. And, and it's different for me than other people. And that's okay too. All right. Number two, trust the process. Now, I feel like maybe I told the story recently on the podcast, but I just want to reiterate it a little bit. I'm not going to go into all the details, but you know, when I graduated college, about a year after I got this dream job fall into my lap, and it was something that I was like desperate to do, like desperate to do. And you know, it was almost like the path was like, okay, you think you can handle this right now, go ahead, go ahead here, have that thing that you're so desperate for. And when I got it, I crashed and burned. I did. I did a terrible job. Why? Because I was not ready. And I realized that you can have this like will to like have this thing that you want so badly, even though you know it's you're not ready or you're not it's not the time or everything's telling you no. And you're like, no, I refuse to hear it. I'm going to force this thing to happen. I want this thing so bad. I want it right now. And you force it to happen. And you get it. And you get it when you're not ready, you're going to fail. And honestly, I failed that project. And it was a dream project in every way. Now the great thing, the good news, the silver lining in my story, is that like five years later, six years later, a very similar project came around when I was ready. And I knocked it out of the park, at least in my own in my own terms of success. I knocked it out of the park. And I got to actually it was so good that I got to relive that experience several times. I get that that client kept coming back to me because I'd done such a good job. Now the first time round, I don't even think they used to work. I still got paid, but they didn't use it. And that's embarrassing. But it was that obsession. Like I need this thing now and I was trying to rush and trying to make stuff happen. And I feel like it's kind of like Matthew McConaughey. Like he's like, can you imagine Dazed and Confused? Matthew McConaughey, like desperate to win an Oscar. And he's like in that role that Dazed and Confused role. And he's like trying to be instead of trying to be funny and trying to be in that role, he's like trying to be dramatic. And he's trying to like really sell the performance and really like see like what's the motivation behind this character. If there isn't motivation, it's a stupid high school movie, right? Like imagine that like or imagine that Matthew McConaughey of that time is like trying to do Dallas Buyers Club. He hasn't lived the life. He hasn't had the experience to be able to play that role. You know, it's he wasn't ready. He's not ready for an Oscar. And I think so often we get this idea of this thing that we want. And we want it so bad and we don't care how it happens and we don't care if we're ready. And all we care about is that we get the thing. But if you get it before you're ready for it, you're going to blow it and you're going to and it's going to be terrible. It's going to be devastating. And it was, I remember wrapping up that project early on right out of graduation and thinking, I blew it. And I couldn't even have worked harder and just made it work. It wasn't about working harder. I just wasn't ready for that job. And I'm really lucky that several years later, I kind of got another crack at it. And so I think what you got to do is that thing that's not working, the thing that isn't going the way that you want it to go, or that thing that seems so unattainable, just look at the path. Like try to figure out where you're at on the path. There's some project that I've been really desperate to do recently. Like really, really wanted to make it work. And I just realized that I was so desperate living in the future, living in the five years from now, that I was ignoring the things that I needed to be doing right now. There was opportunities coming at me right now that was going to prepare me to do that work later. I needed to do that groundwork now. And because I was so focused on the future, I was ignoring the work now. And so that work will never get done. And I'll never progress past this stage because I need to do the work. I need to do the prep right now. It's like wanting to be a surgeon and you're in school and you're so desperate to open up a body that you're not practicing on the dummy. You're not doing the, you're not in, I don't know, I have no idea what surgeon school is like. I don't know what, I don't know, the cadaver or whatever it is. Like, I don't know what it is, but it's like that. It's like, you're so ready for the game that you're not doing the practice. You're not learning the steps. You're not actually getting good at the thing. You're not, you know, the opportunities that are coming at you right now, you're ignoring because you're so focused on the future. And I feel like that, that's how it doesn't work. You need to be grateful that you don't get the thing too early because it's way worse to get it early and not be ready and be devastated than it is to not get it early. Trust me on that. I know from experience. So what is the thing that you want so desperately that you're, you really want that you've got, you know, that all the signs and all the things are saying that it's a good direction to go, what are the things that are trying to prepare you for that right now that you're ignoring and you're, because it's not the perfect situation, you know. Maybe it's, maybe it's like you want to do illustration, you want to do the cover of the New Yorker, right? And you're at some, you're getting these illustrate, these spot illustrations for some local magazine, you know, and you're so focused on this cover for the New Yorker that you're doing a terrible job at the jobs that are coming in the email inbox, but those jobs being true to those, figuring out how do you make work that works on a printed page, even if they're tiny spot illustrations. Because you're not being true to that, you're going to have to live this lesson for years and years and years because you're not paying attention to what it's trying to teach you right now. So what is it? What is that goal that you want, that you want to attain so badly, that you're missing the process right now. So number two is trust the process. All right. Number three, let's see, check yourself. That's number three, check yourself. Because if you're trying to attain something that you haven't earned, if you want something that's not rightly yours, I think you need to check yourself. I think you need to think about why, ask yourself why. Why do you want, why do you think you should have that thing that you haven't earned? Why do you think, you know, I feel like most of the time where you go on a side road that you shouldn't be on, away from the path that you're supposed to be on, the thing that you're supposed to be doing. But most of the time when you go and you go down a road that you should never have gone down, that takes away from and it makes, makes your work not work, makes your path slow down. You know, most of the time you go down that side road, I feel like it's birthed out of wrong intentions, wrong motivation, wrong motives. Like, I think most of the time that you go down the wrong path, it's because you want something you shouldn't have or you don't deserve. I think it's like, um, for me, if, uh, you know, I was talking with a close friend the other day and, you know, he has, um, he has, he had a really good childhood, he had his parents were there loving and supportive and, you know, I didn't have the worst childhood. I'm not going to pretend like I did. It could have been much worse. But, you know, I grew up, um, with, uh, a mom that wasn't there and she, you know, she has a slew of issues and problems and reasons why she wasn't there. But she wasn't there from her early age. I think she ended up leaving when I was about one and, and giving me and my brother to my dad. And, um, then it, you know, at the very least, you know, I was much more like my mom in a lot of ways. And I felt isolated at home for lots of reasons. And, um, you know, the things that my, that my talents, for instance, like she was, she was the creative person in my parents' marriage. She was the person that, where I got the drawing thing from, you know, she was, uh, she loved to draw, you know, even as, as an adult, even through all her problems, she had like worked on some ideas for kids' books and stuff like that, even though they never panned out. Um, but my stepmom and my dad were not nothing, not, not creative at all. You know, type A kind of accountant finance, human resources, they're in all these kind of areas and, um, all my siblings are too. So, you know, it was really the odd man out and, you know, I didn't have any, you know, all of my weaknesses were the things that they were good at. And so that, and all my strengths were things that they didn't know how to value. And I feel like, you know, uh, that it made me insecure as a kid. And, and those same insecurities were brought into my adulthood. And I've realized that when I allow those insecurities to drive my path that I end up on side roads that I should never have been on in the first place. I realize that when I'm looking for validation in ways that I don't need it or shouldn't look for it or even looking for validation outside of myself and outside of my, um, my, my spirituality and my family and, um, and my friends, when I'm looking for it from somewhere else, where I'm, you know, if I'm looking for that and I'm trying to, and it usually comes out of that place of like looking to fill those insecurities. And I'm not the only person that's insecure. And if you had a good upbringing, you still probably have insecurities. And I think whether it's jealousy or greed or, um, I don't know, just trying to go out there and attain something that is not yours, that, that, that you don't, you haven't earned. Uh, I think it's important to ask yourself, why is this thing so important to me? And if the answer is because you need something to tell you that you're good or something, you need to, you know, you need that badge that says, I, you know, I'm good at this or I'm, I have, you know, I've got, you know, I think when you're going out there and trying to attain those things based on those principles, you're going down the wrong road. Now the other side of it is, you know, I've got this, it's like this podcast, you know, I could easily do this podcast out of this feeling of like, I need to like, uh, you know, I need people to tell me that I'm helpful and I need people to, uh, like me or I need people to, and I'll tell you this podcast is not a way to get people to like you. It's a very like, vulnerable thing and it's a polarizing thing I imagine. Like some people probably really love it and some people hate it. And that's okay. And I feel like that's the work you should be doing. Not the stuff that, um, is stroking your ego, but the stuff that you have to do out of, out of the good motives, out of the motives of like, life giving, like, I, I need to do this podcast because I feel it in my bones. It's like, I'm desperate to do it. It's that I keep going back to that Kate Bingham and Bert thing, where she said those side projects that you're going to die if you don't do them. Those are the things you need to do. And if the wards and the accolades and the affirmation come alongside that feeling and that passion and that thing that you want to do, awesome. I'm not against awards. I'm not against people affirming what you do. But if you're doing it for the wrong reasons, I almost always believe that you're going to go down a path that you shouldn't be on. And I think about, um, it's like these bands, you know, when you, when a band does an album that's like a cash grabbing thing, you know, they, they go with the trend, you know, they're doing this, maybe they're doing authentic work and then somewhere out of the way they start making music that is totally not like them. But it's because you can tell they're trying to hit a trend. They're trying to make that cash and that's coming from this greed. And you, it's so disgusting. No one wants to hear that. No one likes that. No one can enjoy that when they feel like it's got this dirty motive to it. Nobody can enjoy that art. I think it's like, it reminds me of like, I love that company. Tatli, Tina Roth Eisenberg is definitely someone who is very inspiring to me. And I love all the things that she does. And I love Tatli, which is a temporary tattoo company. And I think I love it so much partially because it was birthed out from an authentic place. You know, she, she, she saw that her kids were bringing home these ugly tattoos and their party bags of their gift bags from like birthday parties. And she wanted to make something, she wanted to take this format and instead of complaining about it, do something about it, make something awesome out of it. It came from an authentic place and that company feels authentic. And I, and I think that's why you can enjoy it. But you can't enjoy it when Walmart notices that Tatli is making a bunch of money or whatever. And they think, I'll have a piece of that. And they start trying to do trendy, cool, temporary tattoos and they're next to the candy bars when you're checking out. I don't know. I don't think they have it. I don't really go to Walmart. But that's just an example. Like when you see those there, it's inauthentic. You know, it comes from a purely cash driven place and it's gross and you don't want it, right? And so you have to let yourself rid yourself of those things where you're trying to cash grab because every time you're going to end up on a side road that you shouldn't be and it's not going to work. That's one of the biggest reasons why things don't work. All right. Number four. Open hands and open ears. Let's, let's pretend right now that Christopher Columbus that his mission was all good and true even though it wasn't. And there was all kinds of terrible things that happened from his voyage. But just as a hypothetical analogy, let's just think about it like this. So open hands, open ears, right? So imagine he's trying. I don't know the story, but as far as I remember it, something like he's a Spanish guy. He does a quest. They sail these boats across the ocean and they're trying to find a quicker way to go to Asia or Africa. And so they think they can just go around and he ends up in the islands in the Americas, right? Now, can you imagine if he had that tight clenched fists and he's not listening to the path. He's not listening to what's going on. He's not keeping eyes open, hands open, ears open. He's going to think, Oh, this isn't Africa or this isn't Asia. I'm going around the other way. I'm going, let's go back. We hit some other thing. I don't know what this is. And it's like he would have missed that opportunity. Obviously, there's much more to that story that we're not going to go into that, you know, lots of philosophical debates could be, you know, talked about within this story. But it's like, can you imagine he gets there and it's like, Oh, this is an Asia, turn it back around, right? Can you imagine you're going to look for, let's say you're going to excavate dinosaur bones and you're digging and you find some lost civilization or you find buried treasure. And because you're so obsessed with finding the dinosaur bones that you throw the treasure chest into the garbage, right? I feel like so often, this is another big reason why things don't work is because you're so obsessed with finding your thing. You miss what you found on the way. And I, and I feel like having a vision for what your future is for what you want to do is so much more about having being present in the moment and listening to that voice that's telling you go this direction, go towards, say it's go towards editorial illustration or go towards packaging and you go, you head that direction and that's the it's like for the season you're in, that's the vision for the season. And being true to that vision in that season is so important. But the next season, you're going to be an opportunity is going to come up right in that next season that you need to seize. And now it's time to shift gears. Now it's time to go a different direction. And if you don't have those open ears and open hands, you're going to miss, you're going to miss it. And I feel like in our culture, we have this false narrative, right? That says that we that the people that achieve things, great things, that they have a vision when they're five years old and then they work like crazy and they work so directly at that singular goal, year after year, minute after minute, they never give up, they never look away. It's like those people, you know, that are on the I feel like the people that should be pitied the most. And you know, I feel like sometimes I've been in this category a little bit, those people that try out for American Idol, you know, and they can't sing, but it's been their dreams since they were five and they have that false narrative in their head that you just got to keep working at it. You just got to keep going. You just got to keep pushing. And one day you'll get it if you do that. And I just think that's not true. That's not the way it is. I feel like so often if you go, if you want to learn how greatness happens, don't go to the movies, go read interviews, go to thegreatddiscontent.com, go go to interview magazine, go read these long form interviews, get in touch with these people that do great things. The story you're going to find almost nine times out of 10 as they started down one path and this opportunity came and it took them to a different path. And it looked like zig zagging, but eventually it led to somewhere awesome. And I don't think that means you need to have ADD and be like letting every opportunity throw you off the direction that you're on. But I do think you need to have that open hands, like when something's given to you, a vision for your future or something about the next steps, when that's placed in your hands, just keep your hands open and let it sit there and be glad it's there. Don't clench it and kill it. Like the mouse, like Lenny in the mouse. Because don't squeeze it and don't let anything take it away from you. Keep it open because life might come and take it and give you something even better. Have your open ears to wear that thing that you've been desperate for and that you've been working hard for for years. While you went for that, you know, I was just reading this book about kids authors, Maurice Sendak is one of the people and and then I can't remember who said this one. There's it's a bunch of different kids book or kids publishing authors. And one of the people just said that, you know, he was going for something and while he's looking for that, he found something else. And it was that something else that ended up being his thing. And I feel like if you if you close your ears and you close your hands and you squeeze tightly and you grasp so tightly to this thing that you want, you're likely to miss the thing that, you know, it's like if I told you, you know, go down to Florida, if you're in Ohio, go down to Florida and you head that way. And on that way, there's this amazing thing that happens halfway down. It says, if you go to Texas, that's where the real thing is. But you're but you're like, nope, he told me go to Florida, I'm going to Florida and just head down there with all your might and all your strength and you just ignore the signs, ignore the things that ignore what's happening. You're going to miss the best things. And I just think that you've got to have that open hands, open ears thing because I feel like so often when you grasp something so tightly, you end up killing it. You end up, you're not enjoying it anyway because you're trying to, trying to hold on to something in life I feel like is never about grasping something tightly. I just don't think that that's true. I think that it's almost like the universe has this way of anytime you want to squeeze something and say nothing will take this from me. It's almost like the universe has to prove you wrong. Ah, the holidays are here. You've got to find a unique gift for Uncle Derek and your sister, Catherine, and her kids, Jetson and Jeddah, and Jeffrey, and Jacob, and another two Jay kids. There's so much thinking, so much searching. Plus, there's the ethical thing. You've got to shop small. It just, it's a lot, but it doesn't have to be. Uncommon goods makes all of this simple and straightforward. For real, the site is chock full of unique and interesting gifts that also support small businesses. My fam loves advent calendars. 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So I feel like you always need to be asking yourself what's working and have your finger on the pulse of your art career and say, what are people responding to? What am I enjoying that I didn't expect? Like, what's surprising me? That's a big question. What in my career right now did I not expect? I'll tell you one thing for me is this podcast. I thought I'll do this podcast. It'll be kind of like my writing. It'll be something that I really enjoy doing. It's something that I feel like I'm cut out to do this kind of thing. Maybe it'll lead to some public speaking stuff or whatever. And it honestly has spiraled out into something I never expected. I'm going to have to put some of the other things that I was planning on doing on hold a little bit because I'm going to be true to this thing that's happening right now. And I think that that's what you've got to ask yourself that. You've got to not be so obsessed with that one thing that you thought you were going to do. I really think that that's the story of successful people. People that go do great things are the people that have that open, like letting things happen the way they need to happen. And they're always making effort. They're always trying to be intentional. They're always trying to be true to the vision and to what they're doing. But they're not so obsessed and they're not so clenching that they miss the great things that happen. I feel like so often, you know, I've had I've thought I really want to work with this type of client. And then three weeks later, the client that's very similar to that client comes along with the job. And I almost ignore it because it's not the one that I initially pictured. But the work is like the same, the project's the same, the outcome's the same. But I get so fixated on this one idea that I miss this opportunity. And I feel like you've got to have that open hands and kind of let it surprise you. I feel like when you're when you have that attitude about life in the universe like no surprises, it's almost like it's not fun. Like if life doesn't happen the right way, when you won't just say, look, I want to go this way, but you won't let the wind direct you a little bit. It's like the wind's like, fine, I'm going to blow straight against you until you get it. You're not in control. And I feel like if we if we approach our art careers that way, that's the it's the it's the sure way to be spinning your wheels. All right. Number five, last one. This is recognizing patterns. We've talked about this before on the show. It's kind of my definition of wisdom. And I don't know if that comes from somewhere else, but that's it's something that I've you know, thought up, I guess, and it's that wisdom is the ability to recognize life's patterns. You know, I feel like you have to be able to see the signs for all of these things. It's like the biggest lesson out of all of this is to understand when something's not working. And I think that it there's a lot of things, but you need to look at the patterns and your feelings and your gut like when your gut's telling doing that thing that's saying you're you're on a side road. You're doing work that you shouldn't be doing. You're you're trying to get validation that you shouldn't be getting. You're trying to go some you're trying to force something. You're trying to get something you don't deserve. You're trying to do these other four things that we just talked about and you got to be able to recognize when these things are happening. Another thing another pattern is people are going to start saying the same things to you that they said you know, a year ago when you were in the same place when you were in that same place where things weren't we're starting to not work anymore. And I feel like it's like, you know, that episode on I keep thinking about this on the office. Some big office fan where Michael Scott uses the GPS and it tells him to drive a certain way and he goes straight and drives into a lake because it tells him to go that way and he doesn't question it. And I think about this idea. If you drove and if you drove, you tried to drive to your grandma's house and you end up driving into a lake. It's like you need to be able to see the signs before you drive into the lake, right? Like you just say, ah, hmm. Yeah, I remember seeing that house last time and I remember seeing that sign that billboard and hmm. What happened next? Oh, I was in a lake. I feel like that's what this is like. Like you have to recognize that the best thing that you can have happen is you'll probably never get to the place where you don't get close to that zone where things are all the gears are locking up and things aren't working anymore. Like you're probably going to get to that place again. You're going to do it over and over probably year after year. But the best thing you can do is to get better at recognizing the patterns. And so I feel like I've been in this place before where I've recently gotten to that place where things were locking up and like I wasn't being productive and I wasn't doing my best work because I was doing, I wasn't doing these things. But I feel like I'm better at recognizing that pattern than I used to be. Like it used to be. I used to catch it way down the road where things were really buried in a side road that I couldn't get off of that was hard to turn the car around. And I feel like that's the best thing you can do is like recognize these patterns when things are starting, not working. Like when you find yourself feeling all stressed out and anxious about work. Noticing, oh I have a bad motive here. Like oh I recognize, I remember when I go down this road I get somewhere I don't want to go. I'm seeing the signs. Ask yourself stop your tracks and say what is it that I'm doing right now that's not working. Check yourself. Think am I doing something out of bad motives? Are my hands clenched tight on a project that I need to let breathe? Do I need to get a life? Do I need to take some time off? Am I just not trusting the process? Finding those things and realizing there's a pattern. I can recognize something's not going the way that it needs to be going. All right that's it for this week. I kept it kind of shorter and sweeter this time. I feel like this is the podcast I needed to hear badly. It's some of the stuff I've been trying to put more into practice recently because I've kind of gotten stressed out and obsessed with certain goals and all that. And you know I not be that type of person but I think everybody goes through some of these things where we let those things that we want lock us up instead of having that freedom to enjoy the journey. So I really appreciate people listening to the podcast and if you sent me an email or commented or something and I haven't gotten back to you, I'm on it. I'm trying. I'm working my best to do all that. I really love to have conversations with you about stuff like this, about stuff that I talk about on the podcast because this is obviously the stuff I like to think about, the stuff I like to talk about. So I really appreciate all the feedback and I really appreciate that the reviews on iTunes keep piling up and that means so much to me. It brightens up my day when you do that because you know it definitely affirms this thing that I'm doing. I believe in this thing. I believe this is something that I'm supposed to be doing and I love doing it and I feel like I'm doing it for the right reasons. And so also I want to thank you for the people that continue to buy the Do Not Be Afraid poster on my shop. That's awesome. You know I like that poster. It you know got offset printed feels really nice. It's something that I kind of you know it's nicer to make something that's not a screen print that's not a print but a poster something that feels a little bit less precious and something you can just tack up onto your wall you know and it can give you that kind of it's kind of like those it's the updated version of those those posters that used to be at my dad's office you know the mountain that says patience or the eagle that says understanding or perseverance or I don't know whatever it is. I like that. I like I'm doing my a new ridiculous version that has pizza and hamburgers on it instead of an eagle or a mountain. So yeah I appreciate you guys buying that. That's definitely something that helps me justify spending half a day on this a week. Um I've been thinking of other ways of uh of uh you know making related products and stuff that help um fund spending this time and just fine doing this time and you know turning down work doing other work that I could be doing at this stage and I don't say any that to guilt you or anything because you know this is a gift but um yeah I'm thinking about that stuff and actually I've been meaning to write this uh book for a while and you know I'm not really an author so I'm not really planning on I actually have a side book that's a different type of book that's related to creative pep talk in the works that I can't talk about and it's a actual published book but I've actually been thinking about writing a book about um finding your sword in the stone and you know let me know if that's something you're interested in. It's gonna be some kind of crazy list book with all kind it's like one of these podcasts podcasts but times 10 um and I have all the ideas for it I've written out the list I just don't have a lot of time uh to pursue it at this minute but if I knew that was something you were interested in um I think I would just do it digitally some kind of digital publication of some kind um that you could read on your phone or uh e-reader on your computer um so if that's something that sounds like something you'd be into let me know I'm gonna keep working on it and tinkering at it I'm gonna try to figure out some kind of way of justifying uh taking time to do the podcast every week as well as uh start writing on this on this book more um so yeah I don't know if you have any ideas you can send me those ideas too uh so yeah I would love to do that I feel like that's something that's been on the back burner in my mind for a long time and I've got all this information I want to put out there I just don't I need to figure out how to how to make that work um yeah so anyway thank you for listening thank you for sharing the podcast I appreciate it so much you don't even know this has been this podcast has been um such a uh an awesome thing uh to uh to to find in my in my art career it's like definitely feels like one of my master swords I love doing it I love that um you know it gives me more of a sense of purpose than just the work that I do um and so yeah I really appreciate all this I don't know the kind of community and excitement that's gathering around um these topics and uh I just couldn't be more thrilled about it so thank you uh keep staying in touch with us and um with me I guess uh and um yeah thanks and if you want to listen to this online go check it out you can you can find on my website I've got a link in in my in my nav bar now um but yeah a great place to go listen to it is illustrationage.com/creativepeptalk and you can also find all kinds of cool inspiration and articles about illustration uh right now so thank you illustrationage for doing that um I really appreciate it and yeah until next week stay peped up if you have to listen to this episode five times in a row to keep that motivation going then that's fine I'll be your coach somebody called me I don't remember what it's called but somebody called me the coach from punch out this week on twitter I'm the I'll be that coach I'll be the bearded male Oprah of illustration and a fine art and commercial art I'll do that I'll be that guy that's me um yeah let's do do whatever it takes to keep making that work stay peped up this week thank you for listening see ya [Music] hey y'all one more quick thing earlier this year I rebuilt my website using square spaces new fluid engine and I was so pumped about how it turned out that I have been really thrilled to find as many ways to partner with them and tell you about what they can do and bring you discounts as possible with social media going haywire I think having a site that feels as unique as your creative work is essential to building trust with your target audience or your clients I have had several clients point out how cohesive and fresh my site looks lately and if you want to check that out and what I was able to do without any code check out AndyJPizza.com if you want to test it out go to squarespace.com/peptalk to test it out yourself and when you're ready to launch use promo code PEPTALK for 10% off at your first purchase thanks Squarespace for supporting the show and for supporting creative people do you love hair raising allegedly true stories about the paranormal then some in the podcast scared to death it's the popular horror series with more than 60 million downloads and is co-hosted by me Dan Cummins and me Lindsey co-host and also Dan's wife each week on scared to death we share bone chilling tales from old books and creepy corners of the web and some submitted by our listeners all designed to make you sleep with the lights on think you can handle the horror tune in to scared to death every Tuesday at the stroke of midnight to find out