Creative Pep Talk
008 - Self Awareness
(upbeat music) Hey y'all, just a quick heads up. The episode you're about to listen to is eight to 10 years old. Now, these episodes were intended to be evergreen, and I still believe there's a lot of good information in these early episodes, but I do wanna let you know that some of my ideas have evolved over time. Times have changed since we made these episodes, and ultimately, I'd like to think I've grown a lot as an artist and a human, and that these don't necessarily represent my best work, or the best of the podcast. If you're new around here, I suggest starting with the most recent episode, or at least go back to around 300, and move forward from there. Enjoy the episode. The holidays are upon us, and finding the right gift for your kids, nieces, and nephews, and partner, and family members can be super difficult, but it doesn't have to be. Go check out Uncommon Goods. Sophie and I were checking it out the other day, looking for gifts for our kids. They have a make your own storybook kit, which we love. There's this cardboard tool kit, with a cardboard saw that's safe and connectors, so you can build cool stuff and forts and whatnot. They also got these building connectors where you can connect sticks and make them for it. Mainly, I just like forts, but there's tons of cool, creative gifts that will inspire your kids to go make stuff, but we could also easily have just bought stuff for each other, or even ourselves. This curated selection of goods means you don't have to scour the internet for something unique and exciting, and you're supporting artists and small businesses at the same time, which you know I love. To get 15% off your next gift, go to uncommongoods.com/peptalk. That's uncommongoods.com/peptalk. For 15% off, don't miss out on this limited time offer, uncommon goods. We're all out of the ordinary. (upbeat music) - Hey there, everybody. It's the creative Peptalk podcast with me, Andy J. Miller. Commercial artist, illustrator design, kind of guy. I don't know what it is I do. I do a lot of different things. If you wanna look at any of those things, take a look, www.andie-j-miller.com. You can see some of the stuff that I make. So, I've done a few episodes. I've been thinking a lot about what makes, what's the strengths and weaknesses of it, and what I like and what I don't like. Some of the things I've kind of realized is, I like that it's casual. I like that it feels like a conversation. And, you know, I like it to be a little bit regular. So, those are the kinds of things I really like. And then, thinking and digging deeper into what the purpose of this is for myself and the purpose for other people. I've been thinking about, you know, if I understand the purpose of what this is and the kind of vision of what it's supposed to do, that's gonna make it easier for me to come up with good content and kind of be able to recognize ideas when I have them that fit. So, that's kind of why I always reiterate what I'm trying to do with this. I think it's partially just so I can kind of dig deeper and understand myself what it is this is supposed to be doing for other people as well as for myself. And so, I think that what I'm realizing is, is that I, what I wanna do is, I identify areas that are important things to think about for commercial artists, help give you ideas on how to gain clarity in your thinking regarding these areas to enable breakthroughs in your career. So, that's kind of what this is about. And on the surface level, that looks like it's a kind of pep talk just saying, like, if I think what happens is if you're hitting roadblocks or you're getting discouraged or you're kind of in a funk, you might not even realize it, but maybe if I can breathe some fresh wind into your sales and maybe identify something that you haven't really worked on yet or you haven't been thinking about, even if it's just a reminder, then you can leave feeling like you have new work to do that can kind of maybe revitalize your thing or maybe give you some ideas on how to make a breakthrough and the path that you're on. So, that's kind of what this is about. And I apologize for reiterating it so many times, but every time it's a little bit different because I feel like I'm kind of carving away what this thing is supposed to be for myself and for you. So, today, what I've been thinking about, something I've thought a lot about and I'm interested in is self-awareness. Now, every time I talk about self-awareness, I feel like I'm, I don't know. So, I sound like some kind of weird spiritualist Zen master and it sounds like such an egotistical thing to be like, I've gained self-awareness and now it's your turn. That's definitely not true. I don't think, I don't know what level of self-awareness that I have. There's some areas I think that I'm like Michael Scott, probably where I think I'm being really funny and really helpful and witty and really everybody's rolling their eyes. And I think about, I'm sure there's areas in my life where my self-awareness is at the level of Michael Scott. And then, I think there's other areas that I've worked really hard at trying to develop a deeper self-awareness. At the end of the day, I don't think it's about whether you're extremely self-aware or not. I think it's about whether you're growing in your self-awareness. And I think that that's the key to developing your career, one of the main keys. And so, the problem is this, I think that if you lack self-awareness, then you are living a lie. Because if you're not self-aware about who you are and what you're actually doing, what you're good at, what you're bad at, when you're offending people, when you're lifting people up, when people are really responding to what you're doing, and when people aren't, these are all things that fall under being self-aware. And I feel like it's so easy to think that you're winning in something when you're really not, or think that you're failing when you're really not. Think if you're not self-aware, you're not even gonna know when you're being successful. You're not even gonna know when you are being, when what you're doing is fulfilling. You're not even gonna know when you're finding your thing, when you're doing something that's right in your zone, versus something that's way off on a side road. Now, this brings me to kind of my main point about what the problem with a lack of self-awareness really is. And I think it's, the biggest problem is that, if you don't have a level of self-awareness of, and I think that also means you don't have a level of like, what's authentic for you and what's not, the biggest pitfall is that you could spend your whole life on a side road that's a meaningless kind of... I'm a believer in the idea of dressing for the job you want, not the job you have, and I have applied this to my creative practice too, which means if you want professional results, you need to present online like a pro, and that means going beyond social media and having a professional website that reflects your style and looks legit. I rebuilt my site this year with Squarespace's Fluid Engine, and was so happy with how easily I could build my vision without coding, that when they approached me to support the show, I jumped at the chance because I love and use this product. So go check it out Squarespace.com/peptalk to test it out for yourself, and when you're ready to launch your site use promo code PEPTALK, all one word, all caps for 10% off your first purchase. Thanks goes out to Squarespace for supporting the show and supporting creators all over the world. Hey, in case you don't know, we have a monthly live virtual meetup every last Monday of the month with supporters of the show from Patreon and Substack. We have so much fun on these calls, and they are the warmest, most encouraging creatives that I have ever met, and we also talk real creative practice stuff. We have authors, illustrators, lettering artists, picture bookmakers, fine artists, musicians, and folks that work in video and film as well, and we have people that are just starting out, people super established in their creative careers and everything in between. For the rest of this year, we're gonna chat through our new journey of the true fan series, exploring questions and ways to apply these ideas to your own creative practice so that you can leave 2024 stronger than you came in with more visibility, connection with your audience and sales. Sign up to whichever suits you best at either patreon.com/creativepeptalk or antijpizza.substack.com. And I hope to see you at this month's meetup. - Side thing, where you're doing something that you should have never been doing, that you're not the best at doing, that isn't really developing. You're not living your real life. You're living a side road life, a life that maybe you are never meant to live. And I think if you're not self-aware and you're not picking up on how you're feeling, how you're thinking, how people are responding to you, you're likely to end up on a side road and spend a lot of time there. And that's just wasted time. So, for those of you that are familiar with this podcast, you know, I like analogies. Good ones, bad ones, everything in between. And you know, I already talked about Michael Scott. You know, I think about how Michael Scott, to me, is the epitome of the lack of self-awareness. You know, there's episodes, like if you think about the episode of "The Office," if you're not familiar with Michael Scott, he's the boss in the show "The Office," it's Steve Carell. If you think about his, there's a few episodes where the office is trying to schmooze Michael Scott. One of them's when they're trying to get him to decide whether to use the surplus in the budget for a new copier or for new chairs. And so everybody's trying to win his affections. And in that time, he's walking around and everybody's giving him high fives. Everybody's laughing at all his jokes. Everybody's thinks he's really attractive and all that stuff. And I almost felt like when I watched that episode, I was like, "This is what happens every day in Michael Scott's mind. This is what he thinks the office is like most of the time." 'Cause he talks about how he thinks he's hilarious and everybody thinks he's hilarious. And, you know, he has a chance with all the ladies and all that stuff. You get the sense that this office environment, which is completely different, where everybody is really trying to butter him up, he thinks it's kind of like that all the time. And although that in real life would be really sad, it's really funny in the office. But, so to me, it's like really not understanding what the environment is telling you, what the industry is telling you, what your friends and family are telling you, what yourself is telling you. It can lead you to live just a life that's just not, that just lacks reality. And so, it made me start thinking of Truman from the Truman Show. Started thinking about how living on this side road and being unaware of it. The best example I have for that is like Truman. If you've seen the Truman Show, the idea is just that every moment of his life is a show, and he's unaware of it. So every relationship he has is fake. Every moment in his life was planned, and it's filmed as reality TV, but he doesn't know it. Now, I think that is so much like a life-lacking self-awareness. I feel like if you go through your life and in your art career, you're not aware of who's being fake to you, and who's how you're feeling about things, and you're not present in the moment, and you're not aware of how other people are perceiving you, and aware of how you're feeling about things. You're going to not realize that all these people around you are just going through the motions. You know, I see this sometimes when there's a critique of people's work. I think especially when people don't really like, generally like the work isn't going well, people will find something small that they do like about the work, and then everybody will repeat the same thing, and it'll never change because it's the go-to thing. It reminds me of the episode of Friends where they're watching Joey. He's an actor, he's doing a new show. I think it's the Mac and Cheese show where he's like acting with a robot as like a detective or something, and it's like the worst thing that all the other people had ever seen, and when he goes out of the room, they're like, what do we tell him? Like, what do we tell him that's good about this? And they have all the same feedback that they always use, because nobody wants to be like, look, what you're doing is terrible. You're totally in the wrong game. Like I imagine, I think I've talked about it before, it kind of reminds me of Michael Jordan playing baseball. Can you imagine even the baseball league as a whole, being like, no thanks, Michael Jordan. I know you're probably maybe the greatest athlete ever when it comes to basketball, but no, we don't really want you. Like, he wasn't good at baseball. Like, how many people on the team said, look man, you're in the wrong game, you know? But I guarantee he got the sense of it. He got how really people really felt, because he eventually got out of the game, and I feel like that's partially what self-awareness is about is being able to pick up on feedback and see the cues, and I think what Truman showed, if you think about it like this, self-awareness to me, I think it's about how everything, including part of your brain, wants you to believe the surface level. They want to kind of keep the truth away from you, even just out of being polite, or out of survival, or out of keeping the peace. And I think what you have to start looking for in your work, and in feedback, and your interaction with clients, and people's response online, and your friends and family, and your peers, and your mentors, you have to start looking for those little moments, and you have to start identifying those little moments like when Truman starts seeing, he starts seeing the same cars drive around the block. Even though that's probably happened to him his whole life, he's just been oblivious to it. He's not noticing those little things. He starts noticing people deflecting, and cars stopping in front of him. And he's starting to get a sense like, "This isn't my real life." And I think the more self-aware you are, the more you reject the superficial side roads, and the more that you push onto what your real path is. And I think that the reason why self-awareness solves these problems, I think partially it's because when you're self-aware, you're very aware of your emotions and your thoughts. And I think that this is so key to developing a real taste, a taste that goes beyond trends, goes beyond popularity, goes beyond your environment, what people like that I think especially to the people that live in big cities, that's a big problem. That's something that you're gonna have to fight really bad. If you live in New York City, and you're surrounded by 15 other illustrators and designers every day, and you're in this bubble, it's gonna be hard for you to know what your taste is to differentiate it from other peoples. And if you can't figure out what really moves you different to other people, your work is gonna be watered down. You're gonna be doing the side road thing. I think it's so important to be aware of when things are moving you. You know, when I graduated college, I felt like I really needed to, I felt like my work just wasn't as original as I wanted it to be. I never thought it was completely derivative. I never thought that it was bad. I just felt like it didn't feel as honest as it should be. It wasn't passionate about these things in a really deep way. And so I started to try to take a log of when something really emotionally, when I was having a visceral reaction to something, not when I thought, that's cool, or this kind of cool, or I'm kind of like digging that. That's all like superficial. When was it that I saw a movie in my heart, and I had a feeling, a strong feeling? What was happening during that time? What was it about that that moved me? When did I read a book? When did I see an image or a song that it spoke through my superficial self, and my persona, and what I think is cool, and it hit me down on a deeper level, and I couldn't even help but be emotional? When were the times when I heard a story that made me cry, and I was trying not to cry, you know, I was trying to fight my feelings, and start picking up on those and cataloging them, and understanding like, I'm getting, when I encounter these things, this makes me really emotional. That's the type of work I want to make. So being self-aware of taking account of when you're feeling something, when you're thinking something, I think that that helps you develop your taste. Another way that I think being kind of present, and aware of yourself, and then also aware of other people and your surroundings. Yeah, I think some of this maybe breaks out of self-awareness, and some of it's about, being present, but I think self-awareness can mean a lot of different things. It can mean being aware of yourself, and what's happening in you, and who you are, and what you're thinking and feeling also, being aware of how other people are perceiving you. But yeah, the other thing I think that's really important to kind of have that in the moment presence, and in that kind of awareness of what's going on within you, is starting to identify when you're having an idea. I think that this is such a big deal, because I think we all have ideas. I think that all of the ideas that we have are already in us somewhere, and it's a matter of, I think, a big part of the difference between people that are successful with their ideas, and then people that aren't, are people that are aware when they're having a good idea, and noticing what the circumstance is. So not only being aware, I just had an idea, and I need to get it down, I need to draw it down or sketchbook it, but also being aware of what circumstance, when did I have this idea, what things led to that idea, what thoughts, what feelings did I just eat, that I just wake up? Is it night, is it morning, was I on a walk, was I in bed, was I in the shower, was I sat in front of my computer, was I sketchbooking, noting all of that stuff is gonna maximize your ability to create good work. I think one of the biggest things about self-awareness when it comes to your work, and why this is such a big idea, is that the ability to know when something is working in your work and when something is not working. I've seen so many people, and I've experienced it myself, we get stubborn because we think we figured something out that we didn't figure out. That is so huge to know the difference when you really have solved a problem, and when you really haven't. When you've made a development in your style, and when you really haven't, but you've convinced yourself that you have, that kind of denial and delusion is so detrimental. When you think that something in your work is something that your work is all about, when it's really not you being you, or when really it's not as good as you thought it was. Or maybe someone responded to it, but you weren't aware enough to notice that they weren't genuinely responding to it, they were just mirroring your emotions. That's huge, that's scary huge. Can be kind of scary how deep you can get in something and how much you can convince yourself that something's working in your work that it's not. I don't think you should cause this point, or you should let this rethink everything that you're doing, and I don't think you trust me that much or respect me that much to do that anyway, but just as a caution, don't make that scratch everything that you've ever done, but just I do think it's worth thinking about. You know, I think, for instance, in my work, I thought about, I convinced myself that I didn't wanna do animals and people for a long time, that I didn't wanna do them, I didn't like doing them, I only wanted to do kind of creatures of my own invention. But the truth is, when I got quiet, I'm gonna talk a little bit about some of the ways I think you can kind of increase your self-awareness, and I listened to the real voices, and I did some experiments and I tried some stuff, I realized that I hadn't really figured that out, and my work wasn't really about not doing people and animals and doing real figures. What that really was about, I think on a deeper level was maybe some insecurity, like worried that I couldn't do them well, which is not true, or that it's part of my style, like it's part of my thing, and I think that if I did any of those things, it would water it down and make it too much like other people's, but really, that wasn't true. And so, that thing in my work wasn't working, and actually, I was missing out not only on the enjoyment of figuring out how do I draw people, how do I draw different animals, and doing the abstraction there, and reference, and all that, I love doing that stuff, and I've been doing it more and more. I had to take stock of like what was working and what wasn't working, and be honest with myself, and I did, I went through some of the processes that I'm gonna talk about in a minute. The last thing that I think, the last thing on why I feel like this really works, or why this is really important, is that you have to understand it's about voices. So, you have to be able to, there's so many competing voices in your own heart and mind, and then in your life, with your friends, your family, your peers, your industry, Twitter, everything. There's all these voices constantly telling you, do this, do that, and they're all competing, and they're all contradicting. I think you see this with students all the time. Students are constantly complaining. This teacher said this, and then this teacher said something else, and then blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. You're like, here's the thing. Yes, no one's gonna give you the same answer. They're gonna conflict. What you have to do is get quiet in your own self, and what a self-awareness does, it allows you to know which feedback to use. Now, the more self-aware you are, the more authentic you are, the more you understand what your values and aspirations are. And when you get a sense of those things, now when I go ask someone for feedback, I know why I'm asking them, because I think I'm gonna ask you, because you are really good at this one thing that I really want. Now, when that person starts giving me a bunch of feedback in other areas, I still listen to it, but I go, but I filter it, and I think, okay, I hear you, but I'm gonna take it with a grain of salt, 'cause what I was asking you about was color, and now you're telling me about figure drawing, or what I was asking you about, I don't know, I can't come up with another thing, but you get the point. So these are the reasons I think it's so important, okay? So here's a few, I've got a few things that have helped me get a clearer sense of self-awareness and understanding of who I am, and how maybe other people are responding to me as a person in relationships, and also responding to my work. One of the things, one of the top things, number one I think is like solitude, and I think for some people this is easier than for other people, but I think one of the biggest things you can do is spend time alone. And now I think beyond spending time alone, I think in that solitude, a really good practice is some form of free association. And I think this was developed by Sigmund Freud about like letting your subconscious just go. Now, some people like to write, and just write three pages, no judgment, no worry, just spitting out whatever comes to your pencil, just writing it down, and doing several pages of just writing, and not, and just letting it all flow. I like to do it, I do it with these podcasts a little bit, but I actually record a lot more of these than I actually publish. And sometimes usually when I start on the topic, I'll just start talking and record it and kind of see where it goes. I don't publish those ones, but that's usually how I get to the bottom of what I really think, and then I'll try to write about it, and I'll just write and write and write, and try to write about all the different things that come to me. So I think that that really works. I think that, and you'll have to, excuse me, I think I've got a little bit of a cold going on, so my breathing's kind of crappy, but stick with me. So I think that, I think that stream of consciousness, free association, just brain dump, in any, I think trying to do it a bunch of different ways, another way of doing it is going on to Pinterest. Going to Pinterest and just create a pin board that's a free association, and just go down the rabbit hole of Pinterest, and pin anything that moves you, or then make another pin board of everything you absolutely hate, but just go down, don't judge it, just go, go, go, go, go, pin, pin, pin, pin, pin. Why I think that's important is my next point. So, I think it's Jess Lively, she was on Grace Bonnie's podcast, and she talked about this practice of lift trusting your gut, and kind of getting past your ego. I think this is such a big deal when it comes to self-awareness, maybe the most important point. So the second thing I think that's a big action step is, either when you're doing the free association, or when you're spending time alone, I think what's really important to do is understand, there's two voices in your head predominantly. One is, I think Seth Godin calls it the lizard brain. This is your animal brain. There's a part of your brain that's just like any other animal in a lot of ways, like it's your instincts, and it's driven by those core feelings of fear and instinct, and it's risk averse, it's competitive, it's survival of the fittest, it's animalistic. Now, as a human, that's a basis thing that you need, but it's not the thing that's gonna make your art amazing. That's not the thing that's gonna make you transcend it as a person, because that's your animal voice. And some people, I think it's almost synonymous with your ego and your personas. It's, I think that you gotta break past those things. You gotta, I call your persona your Facebook self. You gotta move on past who you one other people to think you are, and you gotta dig deep into who you really are. You gotta not cling to this Facebook self, this pretty version of the trendy self. You can't cling to that, you gotta push past. If you're gonna do the right art, if you're gonna do your real path, if you're gonna do the good stuff, you gotta push past that Facebook self down to your gut. And you listen to the voice that's, I feel like it's almost more in my gut than my head. And it's a quiet voice, that's the thing that sucks. It's quieter, it's just like on the internet, the trolls are louder, right? The haters are louder, they're the loudest voice. Just like that, that's your ego. The thoughts you have in 90% of the time that are the loudest, that are the most obvious, that's your lizard brain telling you protect yourself. Don't risk, don't stand out. Those are the opposite things that you need to do for a really powerful, successful art career. So I think the practice is, go be alone, it's kind of like meditation, where that ego's gonna talk, and maybe you just don't judge it, you just let it just speak, hear it, take note of it. Like part of me is wanting to do these things. Then ask yourself, what do you really feel about those things? And get quiet about it, think about it. Listen to that deeper voice, the more truth self of who you are. I think that's the biggest way to kind of gain some clarity and some self-awareness. I'm gonna come back to that in a little bit at the end. The third thing that I do is personality tests on a regular basis. I like the Myers-Briggs test, that works for me. And every, maybe twice a year, I do it. I kind of update the kind of new things that I've realized about myself, and how maybe I'm thinking about myself and in the season of life that I'm currently in, and read through that and remind myself of some of the kind of natural tendencies I have. Myers-Briggs, you can do that test by just going through Google. There's a lot of different personality tests, everybody has their favorites. I'm not talking about any of the ones that are on Buzzfeed. I'm not talking about which Game of Thrones character you are. I'm talking about real psychoanalysis tests that have some kind of substantial evidence in their favor. And I'm thinking, understanding knowing, I'm an introvert or I'm an extrovert, or I'm a little bit of both, or I tend to be an extrovert. But when I get under stress, I'm more of an introvert. Understanding whether you're someone who responds to art in an intellectual way or who responds to an emotional way. I personally respond to art in an emotional way. And the truth is, a lot of the stuff that people find as clever, when it comes to art, doesn't move me at all. But I wasn't always aware of it, and it caused me to make some of that kind of stuff, but I didn't do a good job of it because I didn't believe in it. I don't like pithy little things. It's not that I dislike them. It doesn't do anything for me. I like stories. I like narratives. I like emotion. I like the visceral response to something. But I know that because I know I'm a feeler and not a thinker. And so, it's stuff like that that's helped me gain some clarity in my path. Like, I'm not gonna make these little pithy, kind of novel idea pun stuff, and there's nothing wrong with those things. I totally embrace and support, and I'm excited about people that are more like that. I think that's great for them because lots of people are obsessed with that stuff. I'm not. That's not me. Doing that works not authentic to me. You know, I know that what my comedy taste is when it comes to comedy. I know I like absurd things, but I like absurd within reality. So I know that a movie that's like a comedy that has absurd, absurdist humor, but within the spectrum of the real world, I really like that. I don't like when it's an absurd world. So it's just like, that's where my taste has grown. That's where I've narrowed down who I am and I'm aware of how I'm feeling at all these times. So I think that's really a good thing to do. The fourth thing I think that's really, really helpful is peer and mentor feedback. People, I think the people that you see as like peer mentors and then mentors that are ahead of you, you should be choosing those people really well and you should know them really well and you should understand what kind of feedback you're looking for when you go to them and that's gonna take time to develop. But I think it's so important to have these people that you trust that can be really honest with you and say, look, that work you just made, it's not you or that work you just made, it hits something new. I've got a few friends that they know me, they know my work deeply. And when I do, when I make a breakthrough, they know it and they respond to it and they're like, look, what you just did, you just hit on something totally different, new, next level. Most people don't even pick up on that because the truth is most people aren't paying attention that closely and they don't know you that well. But those people, when they recognize that stuff, there's also times when I think I make a breakthrough and they don't respond and that helps me think, maybe I didn't make a big breakthrough as I thought I did. So I think that kind of feedback from the peers that you really trust and the mentors that you really trust, that's where you start developing and understanding in a dialogue on who you really are. I think it's those close relationships that I've had, one of the things that I've struggled with, struggled with self-awareness in the past is, when I can be such a, I can be, I can get so in the moment and I can say so, I can talk so much that I end up saying stuff that really defends people and I never mean it to. And I think that in the past, there's been times when I've really upset people that are close to me without realizing it or meaning to at all and it's through those relationships and picking up on having a self-awareness that says that person seems a little bit upset and I'm gonna ask him, did I upset you? And that actually grows it, grows my self-awareness 'cause then they say, yeah, you know when you said that thing, that offended me. That helped me develop a more nuanced approach to relationships and understanding what types of things I say and do that can upset people and it's helped me be more diplomatic in ways that are important. So, another example of that is, in the past, when I would do interviews, I would unintentionally dis people or dis places or things or say things that are extremely hurtful and one of the ways that would work is, you know, my mom, she never, she doesn't have the internet, she doesn't have any way of like following any of my stuff and I never really thought about some of the times that I've said some really harsh things in the past about her in interviews or in personal kind of interactions and then I've realized how to be more kind in the way that I talk about her and I talk about my own experiences in ways that I'm still being really honest and maybe even more thoughtful and more true with and being less hurtful. So, those are the kinds of ways that I think picking up on feedback can really help you but then I think it helps, you know, I don't tell you all that to like help your personal life, I tell you all that 'cause I think it relates back to your work. So, understanding when you made something that people really genuinely responded to versus they were just trying to be nice or trying to, I don't know, network, whatever, like being able to pick up on the differences in the nuance of way people genuinely respond when they don't. - When you need meal time inspiration, it's worth shopping king supers for thousands of appetizing ingredients that inspire countless mouth-watering meals. And no matter what tasty choice you make, you'll enjoy our everyday low prices plus extra ways to save like digital coupons worth over $600 each week and up to $1 off per gallon at the pump with points so you can get big flavors and big savings, king supers, fresh for everyone, fuel restrictions apply. - The fifth thing is I like to think of my life in seasons and I think the biggest thing for this is I think when you think of your life as one whole chunk of things. You know, I think when you look at science, it's like, I don't know what the timelines are here, but you know, I know in science it says that with science, I like speaking of it and it's broad like science said that that's how little I know about science actually but I do know that I don't know if it's like every 30 days or whatever your skin is a totally new skin. It's made of no parts that your skin was before that and then every seven years, every cell in your body is different than it was seven years ago. So technically you're a totally different being in a lot of ways, in a physical way and I think that when you think of your life as this whole thing, you lack self-awareness so you think of yourself like you've always been in the same way and you're doing the same things and you're shooting for the same things. I think you're missing the nuance of living your life season to season. Like in this season, I'm about something and I'm aware of what I'm thinking and feeling and doing and I think that you see a lot of, you know, I never wanna be this musician, I'm not a musician, but I would not wanna be one of these musicians who explodes and has this innovative, amazing career in their 20s and 30s and then keeps doing the same thing forever and never does anything new after that. It just feels like such a waste and I think part of that is it's like getting too sure about who you are. Thinking, I figured this thing out about myself and I'm going to be this way for the rest of my life and I think that's what when thinking of your life and seasons actually really helps. So thinking about, okay, at one point, I was all about line work and my illustration and that was true to me and that's what I wanted to do. Now if I blindly stick to that for the rest of my life, I might miss out opportunities because later on, I realized actually what I like is collage and shapes and it's okay to change that because I developed and I grew and my taste actually became more refined and some of the things that I realized, some of the things I was trying to do with lines, actually it's way more effective to do them with shapes and so I think it's that kind of thinking of your life and seasons that really helps kind of develop a nuanced, growing version of self-awareness that's not entrenched in your persona or you think you are. The last one, so six is thinking and facts. Now there are no real facts, I think, when it comes to art because it's all subjective but I do think that there's something about taking note of some of these things. Now I think you can take this to an extreme degree and really do some negative things but I think it helps like when you made a poster or you made a print, say you made five prints and I see them kind of like experiments and tests and I try not to think of it like driven by the market like the one that sells the most is the best for me and I'm gonna kind of give you a disclaimer about that in a second but I try not to think like that, I try to think like, say I have five of these posters and I think of it a little bit like of a science experiment and I'm always under the impression that the most successful me will be a combination of things that really, really fulfill me and people really, really respond to it. Now it's a combination of both of those things. So if I sell, I've got five posters, right? And I'm selling them over two years, let's say and I take them to, you know, art shows and I take them to, you know, online shops and different venues and, you know, I'm taking them across a long period of time. It's not just a short period of time 'cause I think you have the long period of time so big testing range, diverse group of people, different opportunities and then over time looking at the sales. Now there might be one poster that just sells the best but also really doesn't feel good to me. Doesn't feel right to me. If it doesn't feel right to me, I get rid of it right away. So just take that one out of the equation. Now you've got four more posters. Now the facts are this one sold the most but this one sold the second most. Now that second most sold almost as much but I loved making it way more. Now I think having the awareness and the analysis to say to pick up on people really, really respond to this or having the self-awareness of like maybe that third poster that I loved making that sold almost as good as the one that sold the most thinking people in person responded to this one the most. They really loved it and maybe a poster just wasn't the right place to put this type of work. And so I'm gonna shift and say that work was the work I like making the most, people responded to most even though it wasn't the most sales and I'm gonna turn it into maybe that's gonna work better in a book or in a zine. So I think taking the data. I think data is actually important. I think it can be a little bit misleading because if you just purely go off numbers and say this poster sold the most but you hate making that work and maybe it's derivative or something that data can mislead you but if you're self-aware and you say you take in all the information about how you're feeling and then how other people are responding and then also what the numbers say I think that can also apply to your social media. Everybody knows you're gonna put something on Instagram that you didn't really like that people go wild for. There's actually parts of my business that are like that that I've actually closed down 'cause I just don't like doing them. I'm just not enjoying it and I try to have a level of self-awareness to realize there's something about this even though people love it I'm not gonna do it because it just doesn't feel right to me, to who I really am. So I think it is important to look at the data, look at the facts but do it in a way that's nuanced and self-aware. So I wanna come back to Truman real quick and just say I feel like I think it's Ed Harris plays Kristoff. He's the director of Truman's life. He lives in the moon on the set of Truman and I look at Ed Harris as your ego, your lizard brain. He's the person that's in your mind that's trying to make all the decisions and they're all based on whether people are affirming you, they're based on pleasure, they're based on fear. And all of those things that Ed Harris are doing is trying to keep you from doing your real work to living your real path as a creative artist. I think that there's a part of you that's fighting against you, finding your real thing. Some of the biggest decisions I've ever made have been led by the quietest voice in me. And sometimes it's a persistent voice, that's the good news. So sometimes there's this little itch that keeps saying you might wanna try this, you might wanna try this, you might wanna try this. That's the only thing I think that's good about that true self of view or the thing that actually works and the thing that's not so scary is that Ed Harris, Christoph, the guy in the moon, he shows himself sometimes the ego because he's the loudest voice. Sometimes they're so loud and your ego and your lizard brain is so loud and so in your face that you notice that it's the lizard brain. And I think there were times in Truman's life when I think about when he's trying to drive away and he's trying to drive to places he's never been in the ego that uses fear. And in this case, it's Ed Harris, Christoph, he's used a fear of water for Truman against him from recognizing his true self and his real life. So he knows that Truman won't wanna drive over any bridge. So he puts him on an island so he can never get out. And when Truman finally goes over the bridge, then all of a sudden a series of these crazy unrealistic events are happening where these people in the hazmat suit and there's a fire and there's a crash and then there's just all this stuff that's trying to stop him from finding his real self. Sometimes that's living your true life. The signs are fear, the signs are there's a million things trying to stop you from doing this thing or trying to get you to spend time doing the type of work that you should really do. Sometimes when I'm doing really important work, that's when there's the most distractions. And usually what happens is it goes from like a mild level distractions where they're just kind of distracting me to where it's so over the top that I recognize I must be doing the real work that I'm supposed to be doing 'cause the resistance has totally shown itself. The lizard brain has made it clear 'cause he's gone too far and I caught him. I think that so often it's like that. Now I think that self-awareness is a lot like you and you finding what your real path and who you really are and what the work you're really supposed to be doing is so much like the end of that movie with Truman and he's facing his fear, he's on the water, the waves are crashing, Ed Harris, the ego, the lizard brain turns up, the water and the waves to 11, Truman almost dies and it's such, I love that movie. I love that part where he crashes into the horizon 'cause it's a wall and he sees that staircase and that door is the door into his real path off the side road, off the persona, Facebook self, all off of the, where the lizard brain has got him, that's that door and he steps up those doors and he says, and in case I don't see ya, good morning, good afternoon and good night or something like that and I love that. I just think it's just such a good moment, such a good triumph and breakthrough and I really do feel like as cheesy as it is and is kind of over the top, I feel like that true thing, your real voice, whatever your real thing is in your art career. That thing is this one thing or there's this path that you have that's gonna hit the inflection point that it's gonna meet a demand from other people that other people are gonna respond to and it's gonna fulfill you and it's gonna be your thing. I think that that exists for everybody that has a creative professional path and I think that such a big part of it is being able to recognize who you really are and what you really think and feel and how other people are really responding to and ignoring the things that are making you afraid or causing you to not take risks. All right, I got sufficiently peped up in emotional which means that I've done my job on this podcast and you know, I'm just gonna reiterate what I always say. The people that have come and reviewed things on iTunes and given me feedback and all that, it's been so good because this is, does feel like my real self. It does feel like me putting my kind of vulnerable thoughts and ideas out there and being met with encouraging feedback has been super helpful and it's helped me keep it going. So I really appreciate it. Thanks for all the feedback and I'll try to be back soon with some more creative pep talks. Thanks. (dramatic music) (dramatic music) (dramatic music) (dramatic music) (dramatic music) (dramatic music) (dramatic music) (dramatic music) - Hey y'all, one more quick thing. Earlier this year, I rebuilt my website using Squarespace's new fluid engine and I was so pumped about how it turned out that I have been really thrilled to find as many ways to partner with them and tell you about what they can do and bring you discounts as possible. With social media going haywire, I think having a site that feels as unique as your creative work is essential to building trust with your target audience or your clients. I have had several clients point out how cohesive and fresh my site looks lately and if you wanna check that out and what I was able to do without any code, check out AndyJPizza.com. If you wanna test it out, go to squarespace.com/peptalk to test it out yourself and when you're ready to launch use promo code PEPTALK for 10% off at your first purchase. Thanks Squarespace for supporting the show and for supporting creative people. - Do you love hair raising allegedly true stories about the paranormal? Then some in the podcast Scared to Death. It's the popular horror series with more than 60 million downloads and is co-hosted by me, Dan Cummins. - And me, Lindsey, co-host and also Dan's wife. Each week on Scared to Death, we share bone-chilling tales from old books and creepy corners of the web and some submitted by our listeners, all designed to make you sleep with the lights on. - Think you can handle the horror? Tune in to Scared to Death every Tuesday at the stroke of midnight to find out.