Creative Pep Talk
003 - Pain
(upbeat music) Hey y'all, just a quick heads up. The episode you're about to listen to is eight to 10 years old. Now, these episodes were intended to be evergreen, and I still believe there's a lot of good information in these early episodes, but I do wanna let you know that some of my ideas have evolved over time. Times have changed since we made these episodes, and ultimately, I'd like to think I've grown a lot as an artist and a human, and that these don't necessarily represent my best work, or the best of the podcast. If you're new around here, I suggest starting with the most recent episode, or at least go back to around 300, and move forward from there. Enjoy the episode. The holidays are upon us, and finding the right gift for your kids, nieces, and nephews, and partner, and family members can be super difficult, but it doesn't have to be. Go check out Uncommon Goods. Sophie and I were checking it out the other day, looking for gifts for our kids. They have a make your own storybook kit, which we love. There's this cardboard tool kit, with a cardboard saw that's safe and connectors, so you can build cool stuff and forts and whatnot. They also got these building connectors where you can connect sticks and make them for it. Mainly, I just like forts, but there's tons of cool, creative gifts that will inspire your kids to go make stuff, but we could also easily have just bought stuff for each other, or even ourselves. This curated selection of goods means you don't have to scour the internet for something unique and exciting, and you're supporting artists and small businesses at the same time, which you know I love. To get 15% off your next gift, go to uncommongoods.com/peptalk. That's uncommongoods.com/peptalk for 15% off. Don't miss out on this limited time offer, uncommon goods. We're all out of the ordinary. - Hello, this is Andy J. Miller, and you are listening to the Creative Peptalk Podcast. Hey, well, okay, here we go, it's episode three. Now, I'm really loving this format. I feel like my ridiculousness and my, just my all over the place kind of way of doing things. It just feels right on this format, and I like to do something fast, something quick, something direct, and something where I can just really be passionate, 'cause I think sometimes in my writing, I can't quite convey how passionate I am about helping people find their thing in creative professional pursuits. So, all right, so we talked about strengths last episode. The episode for that, we talked about hustling. This episode is about pain, pain. Nobody hates pain more than me. I'm such an emotional guy, I'm just ridiculous. Now, I'm so emotional that I'm highly compassionate when someone close to me is sick. I feel sick, I'm so emotional about it, and there's nothing I hate more than pain or seeing someone in pain. I just absolutely hate it, I'm just kind of weak in that way. But, and for a long time, I feel like in my creative endeavors, I was running away from pain, and I think there's an element of that that's really fantastic. There's a really, there's a good thing about like, you should love and enjoy what it is you do, but I think always running away from pain or always running away from negative things in general actually can be to your detriment. That's kind of what I wanna talk about today on the podcast. So, that's the theme. Now, you know, if you've listened to the other episodes, I like to kind of have an analogy to run with. This one is kind of obvious, but I feel like it's so powerful. So, my analogy today is childbirth. And maybe as a male, I don't have any grounds to talk about such things. But, you know, I've got two kids. I've actually got one on the way. I'm, you know, I'm not Amish, but sometimes I feel like I am. I feel like, you know, yeah, we're kind of crazy. We're gonna have three kids. But I feel like, you know, the first time when my wife gave birth, I told her, I don't know if we could do this again. Like, I don't know if I can do it again. And I didn't even give birth. I hated watching my wife in pain. It was so hard for me to do. And I understand how crazy that is in comparison to what she had to do. But, yeah, I'm just, I'm so compassionate that I, it's pain to watch my wife in pain. And actually, though, what happened is over the years, you just realize that pain pales in comparison. Even my wife would say so. And she's the one who actually felt the pain. The pain pales in comparison to the joy and the beauty and the awesomeness that is having a daughter. And a few years later, we did it all over again. And, you know what? We even did the crazy natural childbirth. And it was a bit nuts. Both times were pretty much natural childbirth. Watching it the second time was just as painful. But when the moment comes, that triumphant moment, when your baby comes, the joy in that moment, even though when you're in the middle of it, it looks so dark, it looks so hard that nothing could be worth that pain. And as soon as you're on the other side of it, you know, I think it makes sense. And actually, the pain almost is part of what makes it so much more beautiful, actually. And I hate that about it, really. But, you know, I think it's true. And actually, I think that applies to maybe life in general. You know, I think as an emotional guy, I get down pretty easily about all the pain in the world. And I think some of it, you know, there's just no reconciling, it's so bad. But, you know, I like to believe in an optimism that says there's a purpose to life and that there's a greater purpose to humanity. And I want to hold on to the idea that all the pain, no matter how terrible it is, that the greater purposes prevail. And there is a reason, and there is, you know, that the joy to come could surpass all of the pain. And I don't know if that's true, but I like to believe it. I'm getting a little off topic, but I feel like that analogy really works when it comes to creativity. You know, there's a great talk on the website 99u.com by Jad Abumrod. And he's one of my favorite people, one of my favorite humans out there, actually. He, because he's the co-host of one of my all time favorite podcast, Radiolab. That talk is actually about gut churn. That's what he calls it. And that's kind of what I'm talking about, the pain of gut churn. And he talks about finding his way and finding a unique voice as a radio program for Radiolab in that talk. And he talks about the science behind when your gut is churning, you're having that pain, and you're working through the problems. That means you're doing the good work. I'm a believer in the idea of dressing for the job you want, not the job you have. And I have applied this to my creative practice too, which means if you want professional results, you need to present online like a pro. And that means going beyond social media and having a professional website that reflects your style and looks legit. I rebuilt my site this year with Squarespace's fluid engine and was so happy with how easily I could build my vision without coding that when they approached me to support the show, I jumped at the chance because I love and use this product. So go check it out squarespace.com/peptalk to test it out for yourself. And when you're ready to launch your site, use promo code PEPTALK, all one word, all caps for 10% off your first purchase. Thanks goes out to Squarespace for supporting the show and supporting creators all over the world. Hey, in case you don't know, we have a monthly live virtual meetup every last Monday of the month with supporters of the show from Patreon and Substack. We have so much fun on these calls and they are the warmest, most encouraging creatives that I have ever met. And we also talk real creative practice stuff. We have authors, illustrators, lettering artists, picture bookmakers, fine artists, musicians and folks that work in video and film as well. And we have people that are just starting out, people super established in their creative careers and everything in between. For the rest of this year, we're gonna chat through our new Journey of the True fan series, exploring questions and ways to apply these ideas to your own creative practice so that you can leave 2024 stronger than you came in with more visibility, connection with your audience and sales. Sign up to whichever suits you best at either patreon.com/creativepeptalk or AndyJPizza.substack.com. And I hope to see you at this month's meetup. (upbeat music) The pain actually comes from doing something, going out on a limb, doing something nobody else has done is painful, it's scary. But that's actually where the good work, that means you're on the right path. And actually I think, I wanna do a separate episode about fear, but I think you can kind of take this in that direction too that says when you're doing a project you're starting something, you're going out on a limb or you're trying to start your creative career. You might be afraid, and instead of seeing that fear as something to run from, see it as a sign that you might be going the right way. And I think that when you look at pain like that, as an indicator of, okay, this is painful, this work, I'm learning, I'm trying something new and it's kind of painful and it's hard to do. Sometimes that's a better indicator of, this thing's gonna be successful, this endeavor is gonna be useful than something that feels really great. And I think always putting yourself through pain and doing painful processes in your work that you hate, that's not what I'm talking about because I think you should love what you do, you should end up really enjoying that. But I'm reminded of, there's this great little video online of Ira Glass, another one of my favorite podcast hosts, or radio program hosts, talking about why so many creative people give up on their dreams. And actually, he talks about that they have, usually they get into an endeavor because they have good taste, but then they start making stuff and because that taste still applies, they realize what they're making isn't good. And that's pain, so they give up. But the truth is that pleasure of doing what you love, like that comes from getting in your flow, that's another thing completely, which is getting in the zone, that's where you're gonna find the pleasure, but you can't get in your zone until you're really good at something. And so until that point, you gotta practice and that practice is pain. And so, doing what you love, that advice is incomplete because you gotta go through the pain first. And I think that that's a really good thing to think of. Another side way to look at it, that pain is jealousy. Recently, I was listening to Grace Bonnie of Design Sponge talk about how the jealousy, everybody's always saying, don't be jealous, don't look at other people's work and all of that. But she's talking about how there's a lot of talk in the creative community about not being jealous and all that, but she makes a really good point that actually, even though I don't think jealousy is a good thing, I do think competition is a good thing. And I think looking at other people and thinking, man, they're doing these awesome things and seeing people achieve things that you wanna achieve, that feeling initially is a painful feeling, but it converts, it can convert into motivation. And I think running from all those feelings all the time and only trying to feel good and only doing what you love all the time is actually short-sighted and you're not really gonna get to where you need to go. Now, I've been working on a children's book for a few years, it's taken a lot of different forms, not exactly the same book, but I tell you what, even though I don't have a publishing deal yet, I've been talking to a publisher that I have a relationship with and they're giving me good signs, but even though I don't have the deal yet, what I'm sitting on, I'm working on the pitch right now, is I feel really good about it and I'm really loving where it's going. But I'll tell you this, I've been working on it for a few years, and the past three months is the first pleasure I've got out of it. Every step along the way has been pain. It's been uncertainty and second guessing myself and whether I should even be pursuing this thing the whole time, but I tell you what, the version that I've got going for me right now, I am so happy that I kept going because I love it so far and I don't know where it's gonna lead, but I will say, I'm glad I went through the pain of learning how to get better at writing and learning what makes a good kids book and trying it and trying it again and getting feedback that was terrible and then trying to get and get a little bit better feedback. So yeah, this episode, I just feel like what it's about is not rejecting pain. I think creative people tend to be more emotional, not always, but that can be true. And I think, I know a lot of creative people that wanna run from painful things, but I really feel like so often, it's the painful things that help us grow into the thing that we need to be into finding our thing. It's so rarely that it's these pleasurable things that actually are the catalyst for finding our thing. And so I'm gonna wrap it up. I hope that helps. Again, if you wanna reach me, Andy-J-Miller.com is my website and you can find my email on there. I'd love to hear from ya. I'd love this thing to be a conversation and not just a one-way street of me talking at you. So you can go comment on blog post on my site and you can email me. And I'd love to hear about how this might be impacting you or questions you have or ideas for topics. Thanks for your time. I hope this helps you. And see you soon. (upbeat music) (upbeat music) (upbeat music) (upbeat music) (upbeat music) (upbeat music) (upbeat music) (upbeat music) (upbeat music) (upbeat music) (upbeat music) (upbeat music) (upbeat music) (upbeat music) (upbeat music) (upbeat music) (upbeat music) (upbeat music) (upbeat music) (upbeat music) (upbeat music) (upbeat music) (upbeat music) (upbeat music) (upbeat music) (upbeat music) (upbeat music) (upbeat music) (upbeat music) (upbeat music) (upbeat music) Hey y'all, one more quick thing. Earlier this year, I rebuilt my website using Squarespace's new fluid engine and I was so pumped about how it turned out that I have been really thrilled to find as many ways to partner with them and tell you about what they can do and bring you discounts as possible. With social media going haywire, I think having a site that feels as unique as your creative work is essential to building trust with your target audience or your clients. I have had several clients point out how cohesive and fresh my site looks lately and if you want to check that out and what I was able to do without any code, check out AndyJPizza.com. If you want to test it out, go to squarespace.com/peptalk to test it out yourself and when you're ready to launch use promo code PEPTALK for 10% off your first purchase. Thanks Squarespace for supporting the show and for supporting creative people. Do you love hair raising allegedly true stories about the paranormal? Then some in the podcast Scared to Death. It's the popular horror series with more than 60 million downloads and is co-hosted by me, Dan Cummins. And me, Lindsey, co-host and also Dan's wife. Each week on Scared to Death we share bone chilling tales from old books and creepy corners of the web and some submitted by our listeners all designed to make you sleep with the lights on. If you think you can handle the horror, tune in to Scared to Death every Tuesday at the stroke of Midnight to find out.