Geekscape

Geekscape 31: I am SAM

Guest Co-hosts: Brian and Ben cover the news this week while Jonathan brings you some special guests - What can we expect from Harry Potter 7 from two specialists? Jonathan goes gambling with his mom! Reviews: Harry Potter 5 and Superbad! News: Farscape Webisodes! Comics: The Luna Brothers' Girls! Video Games: An E3 wrap up! And a special guest drops into the studio! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Broadcast on:: 17 Jul 2007
Audio Format:: other

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

"My dad works in B2B marketing, he came by my school for career day and said he was a big row ass man, then he told everyone how much he loved calculating his return on ad spend." "My friend's still laughing at me to this day." Not everyone gets B2B, but with LinkedIn, you'll be able to reach people who do. Get a $100 credit on your next ad campaign. Go to linkedin.com/results to claim your credit. That's linkedin.com/results. Terms and conditions apply. Linkedin. The place to be. To be. George Clooney and Brad Pitt's new movie "Wolves" is on Apple TV+ September 27th. "That's where I want you to be now." So if you want to see George Clooney and Brad Pitt, go to Apple TV+ "You got to start the story there?" Or if you want to see Brad Pitt and George Clooney. Go to Apple TV+ "I am enjoying the show." And if you want to see their new movie "Wolves" "You can't do it, I'm gonna help you." "I can do it." "Do it." Definitely go to Apple TV+ "The minute is cool." "Okay, fine, it's very cool." "Wolves" Okay, this is my mom. We're here at the... Where are we mom? We are at the casino dean of the mountain gods. Okay, we're at the inn and the mountain gods here and now. Isn't it also? Lovely New Mexico. How much money do we have on this mom? Oh my god, no enough. How much money? Just like $50. Okay, we've got $50. We're gonna go in there. We're gonna play the slobs. The penny machines. The penny machines. And we'll let you know how we do when we get out of here. I hope we do well. Do you want us to walk out millionaires? Yes! Say that word. We'll come out and say we're millionaires. Millionaries? Yes. Not right. Okay, how much should we win, mom? Oh. This mush. That's what we walked out with. You see that? That's what we walked out with. 10 cents. No one. How much should we win, mom? Are we millionaires, mom? No way! [Music] Come and smoke is pretty good. So that we're going to freedoms, freedoms. For us here, honeybee. As in to the kicks, can we? And the world behind. All your friends are waiting. Wow! Wow! Wow! Wow! Wow! All your joys in this sort of show. Awesome! Harry Potter, spoiler warning. What's up, Geekscapus. Welcome to a new episode. I'm joined with two of my favorite people on the planet. Introduce yourselves. Hi, I'm Kemper. And I'm Bryson Pissner. And I asked you guys to be on the show because you guys are the authority on Harry Potter, right? You guys are like the biggest Harry Potter experts I know. That you know that we... You've read all the books? Yes. Twice. Twice? You've seen all the movies? Yes. Okay, well we're about to review the new film, the fifth film, and a little bit. But I brought you guys out here to talk about the upcoming book, the seventh book. What's it called? The Deathly Hallows. And we'll know in a week what happens on this book. But what do you guys think is going to happen? What do you want to have happen? What are you looking forward to? And you're going to be there at midnight, right? Yes. Okay. What do you think is going to happen in this new book? Well, personally, I have my doubts about Dumbledore's death and Snape's betrayal. Now, Snape is a skilled Aquaman. He can go into people's minds. What if he was able to discreetly plant the image of Dumbledore's death in his betrayal into the minds of the surrounding death eaters and unwittingly Harry? Though he did not know he was there. Okay. And that Dumbledore is not killed by the Avaracadavrakas, but is instead in a sense suspended in limbo waiting to be returned. Carrot. Now, Camper, what do you think about that theory that Dumbledore didn't die at the end of the six book? He did. I haven't read anything. He dies at the end of the six book supposedly. Yes. All right. Don't worry. I'm going to put a big spoiler warning at the beginning of this. What do you think? Well, I kind of agree because one, Dumbledore trusted Snape so much. Even though he used to be a dictator, there had to be a reason for that. Okay. He couldn't have been that bad. Dumbledore trusted him for a reason. So you think that's going to happen in the seventh book? Okay. What about some of the things that you want to see happen? How do you want to see this finish up? Well, I want all the people like Ron, Hermione, Jenny, Harry, Neville, people like that to live. I don't want any of the really nice people like Hagrid to die. However, I doubt that's going to be the case. So what do you think? If someone's got to go, who do you want to see it? Who do you think is going to be? Who do I think it's going to be? Well, Voldemort's going to die. But how many people is he going to take down with him? Will he take down Harry in his own day? Or do you think Harry's going to sacrifice himself? No, I think Harry might be killed by Voldemort. Yes, but here's the thing. For those of you that have read the books, it is the prophecy, which will be mentioned in the fifth film, stated that one of two people would be the ones that killed Voldemort. Harry or Neville Longbottom? What if it was actually Neville's role all along? I don't really think so, because Neville wasn't the one that ended up fulfilling the prophecy. Harry hasn't fulfilled it yet. No, but he wasn't the one that survived the curse. Neville was never attacked. But he didn't survive it, like it said in the prophecy. Okay, what do you want to see happen in this movie? Oh gosh, there's so much. In this book? Well, it was kind of sad, in my opinion, that Harry ended up breaking up with Ginny at the end of the book to save her. Miss Voldemort would have killed her to get to Harry. Exactly, but I kind of want to see them get back together at the end. But at the same time, I want him to get together with Hermione, because Harry is exactly like his dad. He looks like him, he has a knack for trouble, and well, he's just a lot like him. Hermione, she's also a muggle-born like his mother. She is also the smartest witch in the grade, in the school, actually. So it would be like history repeating itself. How old are you? Eleven. And my dad came up with that thesis. Yes, but I agree. Okay, um, wow, that's a lot of information, the process. However, I have a sneaking suspicion that it may just be Ginny Weasley, that ends up in a grave. Now, is there an anti-Cootie spell? What? You know, is that how he's able to kiss these girls? No. Wouldn't you need that to kiss a girl, if you're a wizard? Girls don't have cooties. Right, so what do you think? You're crazy. Okay. To put it plain and simple. Yeah, yeah, yeah, have you kissed a girl? No. What? No, I know you haven't. That's just silly. Um. That'd be disgusting. So you guys will- Yes. Yes, it would. Delete this. You guys are gonna go see the fifth film? Yes. Okay, we have a review coming up. But why don't you guys say goodbye to everybody on the show? Bye. Goodbye. Bye. This is Bryson and Kemper. We've got episode 31 coming and what are you doing back there? Nothing. I don't trust you guys. I've got two people back in LA who treat me like this. [Laughter] Don't look at me, I'm not doing anything. Okay, enjoy the show. Bye. Bye. Hey guys, welcome to episode 31 of Geekscape. And I'm here. My name is Brian and I'm Ben. And what movie did we just see? Well, we saw a couple this week. Should we go with the one that's out or the one that's coming out? We should go with the one that is out and get out of the way. Okay, so we saw Harry Potter, me, Brian, and our very own Vijay. We went to see a midnight screen. We went to see a midnight screen. And I... We were so excited. Now, before we start this, to be fair, I fell asleep through little parts. No, of the first 20 minutes. Just little parts in the first 20 minutes. But I did get the gist of it. And I wanted to know, Ben, what did you think? Well, you know, I've read all the books. I've seen... You've read all the books? Yes. Okay. I've read all the books. I've seen all the movies. I think it's an interesting, you know, series. I will say this. It's a good Harry Potter movie. It's not a good movie. But it's a good Harry Potter film. Well, now, what do you mean it's a good Harry Potter film? Well, because they've generated, they've become their own. It's a series, you know? It's the same as... I'm not going to be judging it. I'm not judging it at the same level as any other film. But you should. That's a thing. See, this is the thing. First of all, okay, Ben and Vijay. What did I say? What was the first thing I said after being groggy? After being groggy, come in here, Vijay. We got Vijay, am I in frame? Yeah, you don't need to see my ass. I don't know if the audio is right. Bad ass. Because I haven't been listening. All right. So, Vijay, what's up? Can you hear me? Can you hear me, Vijay? All right. What's the first thing I said when we walked out of there? Harry Potter's for girls? Yeah. Harry Potter is for girls. That's the first part of my review. We walked in and there was a ridiculous... It was all just teeny-boppers. No, it was older people. And yeah, with their kids. No, I don't like it. And it makes me feel... It's like 20-year-old girls. Yeah. They look like all of that. And it just makes me feel like... A lot of those girls are just in there for Daniel Radcliffe. You know? Like, I feel like they don't even really like the books and it's not so much of a thing, but it's just like... I feel like it's more the Harry Potter is an icon as anything actually being of substance. Because personally, I don't know about you guys, but I've read the first three books and I stopped. Because I don't give a fuck about Harry Potter. What about you? Like, as a character, he is like the most uninteresting character. What is that? For you audio listeners, John just put "Welcome to Cheatworld" in front of the screen. Yeah, you wish. We're not playing the game, so it doesn't count. We're playing no games. All right, so what are you saying? So I'm saying... Obviously, you don't know that many 20-year-old girls. At least it's not as many as I can. No, no, no, he only... Oh! What? Bring it up. You don't have a closet full of 20-year-old girls like I do. I'm not even so sure about the younger kids, 'cause I get a lot of people think it's overhyped or it's overdone now from the younger generation. But for the generation, that's around 20-21, they're all into it. That's me. I know, but you're a guy. These are my peeps. You say that the girls don't even like it. I know a lot of girls are just... No, no, I know girls who like... The biggest Harry Potter freak I know is 23. Yeah, I know people who are taking days off. I don't know what you're saying about it. Oh, they don't even like Harry Potter. But what about Harry Potter as a character, though? Like, he always just kind of bitches his way out of stuff. It just all of a sudden happens like, "Oh, hey, it happens that I have the power to just point this and close my eyes and all of a sudden something that nobody else can do I can do." Like, it seems like it's a huge, huge cop-out, like whatever he does. And even in this movie, you think that there's going to be a lot of action. Like, he's training like an army, you know? And you think that there's going to be a huge stuff, but it always just comes down to once again, just the "stupid fly!" and then all of a sudden everyone's... I know the name. Yeah, it's funny. And it's just like, "Come on, man." It's that's not action. That's not something to look forward to. I mean, supposedly this was like a setup for the next two movies. That's what I heard. And then the one before that was a setup for the other ones. I mean, why not just make all of them of substance? Like, why not just write an actual story in which something happens? Because that's what the books are. You can't expect like the same thing from the movie. No, but the thing is that the books are more so... The books are like, they're all actual story. I've read the first three. He's read all of them. The books are actual story, right? Like, for example, the order of the Phoenix, I talked to my friend Mara, who I met through Sarah complicated, was she ran me through basically everything that was wrong with this movie. Yeah. And I'm like, "Wow, that sucks!" There's a lot of action sequences in the book that were completely cut out of this film. And one of the things I wanted to touch on that really like, I'm not, hopefully I don't give, I'm not going to give anything away. I'm not going to give anything away. Let's just say that the very end sequence, if you haven't read the book and you've seen the movie, it's supposed to be a lot more heartbreaking. I mean, the person who this all this stuff happens to, I mean, this is a pivotal character. And in the movie, I didn't care. It's like, oh, he fell backwards. I mean, you don't even know what happened. Yeah, no, exactly. You should have been certain what happened in the book. But at the same time, you're supposed to care about it. Right. And the whole last action sequence was a huge cop out. There was no action. Yeah. It was just a sequence. I mean... I mean, the director sucked. Yeah. I mean, that's the thing you have to kind of, I don't know. I forgot. I meant to look him up and up. I mean, whatever. Like, that's the thing. I don't think actually anybody really, like what you're saying, I think they do actually care about Harry Potter. I don't think they actually care about the movies. I care about Ron and Hermione in the movies and the books. No, I'm saying not even about the characters. I don't even think they give a crap. I think mostly the movies are kind of just academic. Like, they're just following what's going on in the book. Because nobody is actually going to wait for the book. Right. Wait for the movie to find out what happens. But remember what Ben just said, though? I mean, that's the difference between the books. And that's the difference between the books and the movies. The movies go through the overall plot. But the books actually give you the story. Like, they give you a reason behind what's actually going on. Like, they basically go into the depth of, dude, I actually care that this guy dies. Or like, this woman. Like, okay, you know the bitch that takes over the school Hogwarts? Umbridge? Well, originally, they had a bunch of time. The Ministry of Magic gave Hogwarts and Dumbledore a bunch of time to actually pick one. But they couldn't. Oh, really? Because, yeah, you know a lot of the adversaries in the Harry Potter movies are like, uh, defense against the dark arts teachers. And they're all like the bad guys. Like, get a fucking better screening process for that job. What the hell are you doing? No, I mean, you can't really say that. I mean, that is true. But also, like, if, like, Snape was like a Death Eater and like the guy Igor Kargorov, if he was a Death Eater, how can he be like the leader of his school? I mean, you have to kind of give it that leeway. Like, a lot of people don't like the acting. They're like, oh, the acting sucks. The acting is as good as it could be with the spirits. Acting is as great as it can be. It's just the style of the film. Right. It's semi-like, it's unbelievable. So, I mean, but Umbridge was put in then, they ran out of time, uh, and then Umbridge was then put in by the Ministry of Magic by default. It's not like they chose her and then all of a sudden, but in the movie, she's just there out of nowhere. So there's like the intricacies that make that into, that make all the books into interesting stories that aren't there in the movies. And that's why I don't like the Harry Potter movies. So do you think that they cop out? That's a great movie. Do you think that they cop out? Because they figure that if you're going to go see a Harry Potter film, you're going to have read the book because it's such a phenomenon. So what we're going to give you is basically the cliff notes version instead of actually giving you the full movie. Because granted, it was like, you know, an 800-page book. Yeah. You can't put 800 pages into a two and a half out. And I thought that was really interesting what you brought up before we saw it. Is that this is, that was the longest book, and yet it is the shortest movie of all one of them. Well, I know that my girl, 17, she's almost legal, the girl who plays Hermione, she had a bunch of stuff like, I don't want to be in this movie. And she almost wasn't in the movie. And so they had to tailor the script in a lot of weird ways that maybe she's not in it as much. And the script went through a lot of crap to give their credits and do. But overall, she did pull a Hallie Berry. She didn't show her tits for $2 million. Or it's probably not even worth it. Yeah. Dude, she did pull a Hallie Berry, Hallie Berry, and then X3 sucked multiple cocks. And this movie-- [INAUDIBLE] But OK, so how do you guys rate this? First, I rate it as I like Goblet of Fire movies. Just movies. I like Goblet of Fire, Prisoner Ask a Band, this one, and then the first two. I hated the first two. Why do you like Goblet of Fire that much? I loved Goblet of Fire. First of all, once again, don't give a fuck about Harry Potter. I do like the action in it. And remember the fucking mermaids? The mermaids are my favorite part. No, no, no, no. But the thing is that this is a largely part of the reason I like to Pan's Labyrinth. Because do you guys remember how every-- you know how Disney has fairies and has Tinkerbell, and they all look kind of cute and stuff? If these creatures actually existed, I would think that they would look kind of scary and creepy as hell, just like the mermaids do in Goblet of Fire. So that was one of the biggest reasons. Those mermaids look like Snorks. No, yeah. John just said that the mermaids look like Snorks. Well, I would say they didn't have snouts, but they looked awesome. I thought they looked awesome. I would definitely say that the new one is probably the worst. Wow. OK, I could go with it. And then I would say after that Goblet of Fire being the next worst. Ooh, then which one did you like last? I didn't even like the first one. The third one, directed by Alfonso Orhan. Corhan, yeah. It's one of my favorite directors. And I mean, that's the only one I think that actually stands up as a film. Like you were saying, it should be a good film. I mean, that's like the only one where you actually have to sit down and watch it. And the direction is really specific. And it just flows. You can't just watch one scene. I do like Goblet of Fire, but it's all segmented into the different things. And there's the ball. So I mean, it's good for viewing as like-- if you just want to have it on in the background or something or just watch like quick clips, it's good for that. And like the first two, I think, both directed by Christopher Columbus, they're like really good. In terms of following the stories. Yeah, they feel more like kids movies. And it feels like they're just going through every scene that they can that's in the book. So that's why I'm saying, in a Harry Potter movie, you have to expect that basically they're paying tribute to the book because everybody who likes the Harry Potter universe or I guess that's what they think is going to have already read the books. It's going to want to read the books more than they care about the movie. So I mean, every single person who watched the movie or whatever is probably going to go and get a book this weekend and read it. Yeah, actually, I promise someone I'm going to read Half Blood Prince before the book comes out because I actually-- it's a huge thing. I don't want it spoiled for me. I'm going to go ahead and read the last two fucking books, whatever. Ben, what do you think? How do you rate it? Oh, we're going to be writing it with other movies. I'd say that I'm going to go with yours because I do think that Prisoner of Azkaban was the best because technically, and it beautifully-- There's nothing happening about that. The most happens. You think me? The last scene or whatever, they go through-- I don't know. It's like the climax of whatever takes like 30 minutes or 40 minutes long. I mean, that's really original, I think. OK. Yeah, so I'm just going to go with Vijay's because I do think that Prisoner of Azkaban, number one, Goblet of Fire 2, and then this latest one because the first two for me, they're kid films. Yeah. There. So that's Harry Potter. That's Harry Potter. It's like, what did-- Let me see. So Ben and I went to a screening. And it seems like they're doing a lot of screenings. Did you see this on Myspace? I don't know if you guys saw it. But on Myspace, you have-- I don't know if it's still going on, but you have an opportunity to see the movie Superbad from the producers of Knocked Up and 40-year-old Virgin. I think it's only for the people in Southern California, do you think? Yeah, OK, that's what it says. Anyway, Ben and I saw Superbad, and we thought it would be a great idea because it was a fat guy, really, really cool guy and a combo, and so it's like-- Fat Jackass, really cool guy. This would mirror-- OK, Jackass, cool. Right, OK, anyway. But it's seriously-- I'll go first this time, I guess. I adored this movie. I loved this movie. I think it's the best and most genuine thing that the Judd Apatow crew has done since Freaks and Geeks. OK, we'll get into that. I thought it was a good movie. I think that everyone-- I think everyone who's watching this podcast should definitely go see it. I wouldn't say that it was-- I wouldn't say I adored it, but I won't say I hate it. OK, but I really-- That was me. Better? Go, OK. Yeah, so let me first start off. The reason I didn't-- I won't say that I adored this film is because, at least for me, I didn't start off loving the characters. You didn't start off loving the characters? No, no, no, because-- Now, in case you guys don't know, Superbad is about two high school students. And these two guys-- It's the last-- Jonah Hill. And what's-- Michael Sarah. Michael Sarah from Arrested Development. They're just two buddies, and they're both desperate. They're both kind of geeks, and they have nerdy friends. And then there's a cool party going on. And two hot girls, each respectively to the guys, ask them to bring them alcohol because their friend's going to get a fake ID. And what I love about this movie is that nothing happens, but it's thoroughly engaging the entire time. It's just them trying to get alcohol. And I don't drink, I don't smoke, I don't anything. And I usually kind of hate movies that have moments. They hate that have moments. You hate movies that have moments. That have moments like, oh, dude, oh, smoking's the best. You know, it's very much like glorifies pot smoking, and everything else that's just kind of like college, frat culture, but I feel like-- And it seems that everyone's just playing characters and stuff, but this comes off by far the most genuine. It's more genuine than anything. You actually feel like these aren't just knocked up, for example. It was wrapped up inside of a huge, very cliche, romantic comedy with witty banter here and there. 40-old version, a ridiculous thing that could never-- it's kind of ridiculous, this guy, all that stuff. These guys are characters. Like, I fucking care about these guys. Well, I think I'm thinking that you like this character's more than the other characters in the Judd Apatow movies because you connect with them more. That's true. I did connect with them more. And that's absolutely-- you can do that. Personally, let's just say the two main characters, Joan Hill and Michael Sarah, both of those actors, it's nothing new for them. It's absolutely-- It's what they've been doing. They really are doing what they've been doing. They don't bring anything new for themselves. But the writing and absolutely everything that happens-- what I hate about this is that what I hate about 40-year-old Virgin and what's it called, and knocked up, I thought they were both severely overrated. And they all just had caricatures. And they all just had people, at least one character, that you're like, fuck this character. I hate this character. Like the wife and knocked up, was his face-- Apatow's wife or-- Well, it's Judd Apatow. Right. It's probably mirrored after his wife or something. Yeah, the chick from George of the General. Right, but that's Judd Apatow's wife. Yeah. I didn't know that. That's why she's in all those movies. But anyways, they're all just caricatures. There's not a single character that I don't love in this movie. OK. I'll tell you because there's two storylines going on. There's the guys going to get the drinks for the party. And then there's McLovin and his adventures. And it looks lame from the previews. Yeah, but let me tell you, when that character first came on the screen, I loathed him. I hated this dude. I loved him. He was fantastic. Over the course of the film, and I think that they actually-- you know, it's written this way. He becomes the best character in the film, him and the cops. Why? Because he's developed. He develops. Every single character develops. It has great character development. Yeah, you know, the two main guys, they develop at the very end because I figure they have to because they're the heroes. They need to-- apparently I need to suck some. Sucks some mic. But yeah, the two main characters, apparently, it felt like they didn't have an out. So at the very last 10 minutes, it's like, OK, we're going to change them completely. Jonah Hill's going to stop being an asshole. And Michael Sarah's going to grow some balls. No, no, no, see, here's the thing. It wasn't so immediate. I didn't think it was that much of a comp. But I saw that comp. There was an evolution that was because it's not like a bunch of shit happens. And oh, they're-- it's not like a Harry Potter movie. It's like, dude, it's like shit happens. And shit after shit, it builds to the point where you're like, they get to a breaking point. And they're like, I've learned from everything that you've seen me go through, audience. And I think, I don't know. I just think it was a great movie. All 10-- all teen comedies have sucked since "Can't Hardly Wait." I think I'll say that. And I'll say that this is the best teen comedy since "Can't Hardly Wait." And watch it. Absolutely watch it. With a bunch of friends. And enjoy it. August 17th, it's coming out. And now, what have we got now? What's up, guys? We've got our baby to hear. So I just want to let everybody know that netriver.net is the kick-ass sponsor of GeekScape. You guys should go visit netriver.net right now. They've sent up for some hosting. They've got great hosting plans, great prices, worth 100% powered by netriver.net. Can they get a discount? They can 100% get a discount by putting in this man's name, this hunk of burning love, Gilmore. I'm feeling his-- He actually is touching-- It's hard rock up against my shoulder right now. And more of like a rag stuffed in a cup right now. That's right. And you type in Gilmore. You get 10% off all your hosting deals. Go over there, tell them GeekScape sent you by putting in the code and netriver.net, man. Thanks. You guys want to talk briefly about movie news? Movie news? All right. It's actually television news that has been really excited. What is it? Farscapes back, baby. They got Farscape episodes. Let me sit down. Oh, God, I love you. Sorry about that. Wow. How'd you like that? I love that rub action. Yeah, but you did. Oh, what can I say? I bet you did. It's been a while. OK, so I want to know. I didn't actually read any of this stuff. I saw the little thread on our forums at geekscape.net/forms. But are they going to be the actual characters? Are they creating new characters? Are they going to be the Ben Bouder or Cynthia Black, all those characters? You know what? Let me tell you what I went through here. You want to hold this? Let me tell you what I went through when I found out that they were the Farscape episodes. This is literally what happened. I'm on the internet. I click it, you know, some news. I see Farscape coming back as eight original episodes. I don't even click the link to find out the details. You just fill the cup right then. I just start freaking. About 10 seconds later, our good friend, Ian, who's been in the first episode. He's on a Spider-Man episode. We might see him at Comic-Con coming up. He'll definitely see. He starts calling me. And I'm in the middle of New Mexico with a bunch of Native Americans doing peyote on the middle of nowhere. And I can't pick up my phone. It has no reception. So I know what he's calling about. I know what he's calling about, because we saw the news at the same time. But Ian's the guy who got me into Farscape. Farscape's great. Ian buddy, I didn't even click on the link. I don't know anything about the episodes. It's good enough for me, baby. You know, if Cynthia Black comes back, if Ben Bouder's back, you know-- You know who my favorite character was in that? You know, I was trying to think of-- Don't be spoiling shit. If you haven't seen the Peacekeeper Wars, but go for it. Yeah, my favorite character was Do With The Mask. What was his name? Oh, I got you. Yeah. Watch it. Awesome. Awesome. Dude, amazing. And I'm blanking on his name right now, and it pisses me off. Do With The Mask. So-- Dude With The Mask. Here's my BS answer for the week. Let's talk comics. Let's talk comics. Because-- because this is what happened. I'm in New Mexico, middle of nowhere. You know those small towns, I called him from a strip mall. It was the last time you saw a strip mall that had a Kmart. Well, we weren't that far. We were in El Magordo, New Mexico. And you know, those plays that had the nasty fountains. Like, come get your fucking portraits and stuff like that. They had the shoe circus stuff. Yeah. It's a much important-- No, that was that. Army recruiting? Of like, dolling. They have like an army recruitment office. Oh, that's so-- I almost went in there and joined up. No, I didn't. No, not at all. So I'm in there, and there's a bookstore. And they have a used section. What's really amazing is that in the middle of New Mexico, they have a bookstore. Get out of here with that. They have to read the glyphs on the alien spaceships. That's right. So we're-- It was these Hispanic border crossers. So I'm in this place, and they have a trade paperback section, and a lot of it's used. I picked up the first trade of Alan Moore Swamp Thing. I've never read it. It's great. I'll let you borrow it. I know. I've been looking good. And then I picked up something that you recommended to me, which is "Girls" by the Luna brothers, which you recommended to him, and he recommended to me. I can see why you like it. And I can see why you recommended it to him. Thanks, V.J. Here it is. Thanks. V.J. just reached in from Chee World to hand me this. But let me say something about "Girls." Some of you guys might have seen this in the store, because this is a hot girl. Like all the covers have at least one of the hot girls. A lot of them have a hot girl. Can I just say, you won't be more embarrassed buying this with your mom's boyfriend, which is what I was doing. I was with my mom's boyfriend in this bookstore. And he's like, he's like, what is that? And you said it's a hand guide. Because if you're picking this up and around someone who knows nothing about comic books, and it's just like a drawn naked girl, and it says "Girl." Yeah, it says "Girls" on it. It's just like, that's the best this guy can do. This is as close as he gets. Anyways, actually pick it up. This book is amazing. And one of the things that I liked the most about it-- and John said this to me, and it's almost verbatim I thought in my head after I read the first one that Ben Let me borrow. I love how you're rubbing my leg. Their "The Dialogue" makes me jealous. I wish that I would have written dialogue like this. I think it's really honest. And at the beginning of the first trade, when you guys go pick this up, because I really suggest it to anybody. The book's about-- I can't say-- you guys have read the full series. I've only read the first one. I believe it's an alien invasion in which the aliens take the form of beautiful women in this small town. I may not be right, but those are the kind of mysteries that-- I mean, it really reserves itself story-wise. It paces itself really well. So I don't know what it is about where these girls come from, but all I know is that this small town in which the hero is 100% our very own Brian Gilmore, which I thought immediately upon the first introductory scene of this guy where he's masturbating, I was like, oh, now I see what I've been recommended to his friend. I can see what I've been recommended to Brian. I can see what Brian recommended it to me. This move-- What do you say? If you compare me to that character's friend, I swear to God. His best friend is actually retarded. So I can see how you guys love this book. I'm the dick cop. So here we go. Now you're the Asian mom. This guy has a ton of frustrations with women. Yes. There's another thing you don't understand. There's a scene early on. This rant early on where he loses it and yells at everybody in the town is the kind of dialogue that in reading something like Ultimate Spider-Man, when you have Bendis writing Peter Parker in a high school frustrated rant, he wishes he could write dialogue dishonest or that a book that commercial would allow him to write dialogue dishonest, because it's very indie and it's very good. Yeah, a lot of the time when you're reading Ultimate Spider-Man or even in the earlier ones, don't you feel like it was trying too hard to be too hard? Like it was trying to actually come off like it was kids. They would say all this slang that is just like-- It's a care of some form of the mirroring. In general, I'm reading Runaways right now and-- Runaways? Runaways. Well, Runaways is written by-- It's Bendis. Runaways? Yeah, first, isn't it? No. No, it's weeding it now. No, weeding is now. Brian Kavon. Oh, no. B.S. answer number two. Let me tell you about-- It's Brian Kavon. Brian Kavon is 100% legit. Yeah, he's amazing. I saw that homeboy in the Disney cafeteria, and he speaks drive. Yeah, OK. As long as he speaks the drive. He's a good guy, and I actually do like his writing. Bendis, I feel like his young dialogue like writes an Ultimate Spider-Man. Can't wait for that book to come to a Knight's conclusion with this latest issue. So I can hop ship, because I just feel like it's really hollow. This stuff, this is the way somebody would feel when they're frustrated. And then when the crazy shit starts going down-- Yeah, it's Bagley's last. Just came out. Is it Bagley or Bagley? Bagley? I say Bagley. This is the last issue. So all you guys who have been waiting out Ultimate Spider-Man, I'm going to hop ship. OK, so back to Curtis. Artist and writer run since Stanley and Kirby. They beat him, working together forever. They are that comic. I don't see how it's going to go after that. Well, I felt like it was. I felt like Ultimate Spider-Man's been treading on, you know. I feel like it's been running in place for a while. I haven't-- I'm not cut up for the past four or so issues, but I hate what they're doing to Kitty Pride. I love Kitty Pride. Kitty Pride is, I think, my favorite X-Man. You know what? I just see the Ultimate Universe as running out of steam. I mean, you guys were reading Ultimate Marvel stuff, like Ultimate X-Man and the Ultimates and stuff. I really feel like the Ultimate Universe is coming to its conclusion. It's a secondary universe. And just like M2 and all those other ones, it's 2099. You know, it comes to its natural conclusion. It runs out of-- there's only so much you can parody and reinvent stories that have already been told without giving it the strong roots to grow new stories. So it's done. It seems like a reinvention of best of moments from the other stuff. That's all I told you. And you run out of them. Definitely. And anyways, going back to girls-- Let me say this about girls the second time we've almost done that. I don't know anything about them. I'm kidding with you, Ben. You actually share some of their anatomy. [LAUGHTER] I'm kidding. Give me some milk. Give me some of that milk. Give me some of that milk. I will pop. Jesus Christ. This is 100% in man meat right here. Give me some of that milk. All right, you did my mouth. That's why I love this guy. Here, girls, let me tell you. You guys, I think you're going to have a better experience than I did with this book, because you're reading-- shut the fuck up. OK, enough. All right, so yeah, you're going to have a better experience reading it through trades than picking it up. I've read it since, like, issue 7. So I picked up the first two trades to get cowed up. And I loved reading the trades. But when you get it caught up, when I had to read issue to issue-- Oh, that must have been painful. It's really painful, because the way the stories are written, they do. They pace it out really well. But they pace it out through, I think, it's 24 issues. They're 24 issues. Yeah, so since it's all spaced out, read the trades. Read the trades, and you'll love it. In those six issues, after those six issues-- I mean, I'm guessing the cliffhangers continue to be good, because after that first trade, the cliffhanger at that first trade-- Oh, the splat page on the end of every single issue. What? It's wonderful. I recommend it as to people that don't like comics. My stepmom read this book. I let my stepmom write this book, and liked it. My ex, who-- You did it with someone? No, yes. Who verbatim said-- 40% of the reason we broke up is because how much you like and talk about comic books. Oh, I hate her. And I hate her. She liked this book. And the other 60 was that he liked a girl who was 13. If I like a book, I will pass it across-- I will be like, all right, I'll pass it across the bed to Laura. Right. And this is one that I passed to her. This is how fruitful it is. My stepmom read it in two nights. And her one concern was that the Luna brothers seriously have female issues. No, they really do. It's another thing I believe that you do. You definitely have female issues. You have female issues. They have a bunch of really accessible-- this is what I hate about them. Where did she touch you? Yeah, they're working out some horrible aggression. What? Horrible aggression. But-- All right, no, no, no, but in all seriousness-- You guys read this up. Right. In all seriousness-- All right, so we're going to do E3 in just a second. But in all seriousness, this is great. The only bad thing about the Luna brothers is that their art is very-- I don't want to say repetitive. I want to say consistent. If you read the only other two things that they've done-- one, ultra. Ultra-- Highly recommended. Highly recommended. Two is spiderwoman origin. Everything looks the same. All their characters look really similar. Yeah, all their characters look really similar. But when you read it, when you read it, it's really interesting to see what they do with-- Well, it is image. Well, when you're reading it, it feels like you're watching stills from a beautifully colored and drawn animated film that takes itself seriously. So pick up girls. It's fantastic. You'll love it. E3. E3. All right, so last weekend, E3 happened in Santa Monica. And let's go over some talking points on it. As most of you know, E3 used to be huge, taking place in the LA Convention Center for the last-- I don't know how long. But they decided, I guess, the producers of E3 decided that it got too commercial, so they cut it down in size and moved it to Santa Monica. But there was more coverage this year than I've noticed any other year because the people who could cover it did cover it to a nauseating extent. And I'm talking about G4. Anyway, so there was a bunch of different stuff that came out through the different press conferences and the different hands-ons. Read it off. With Microsoft, of course, it's all Halo 3. A lot of it was Halo 3, which looks gorgeous. AKA Graham's future girlfriend. It's really true. What else do they-- everyone knows about Halo 3. They didn't introduce anything new. So at least not that I know of, not that I covered. So talk about it on the forums if I'm wrong. What was that? Halo RTS. Oh, yeah, the real-time strategy, the Halo Wars. I didn't see anything on that, but they've been talking about that since-- Halo RTS. OK, so forever. What else I got? They also went over Bioshock, which I've been watching the little videos that's been coming out the developers' journals. And this game is insane. Oh, is that the one with the trailer where you're underwater and you're going in? That looks fucking brutal. Like, very often when you see video game trailers, you see the video game trailers, and they're mostly like, boom, this is going to be the fucking awesomeness thing in the world. But then you play it, and you're just like, I'm lost for two hours. But this feels like it's going to be awesome. With this game is that there's too much. At least that's what they're portraying to me. Too much what? They're promising so much. Too much what? Well, you can inject yourself and get different powers, and each thing that you're supposed to do changes the way the game plays. And that's awesome for really hardcore gamers. But I'm not really a hardcore gamer. I'm a casual gamer, and I think that the casual gamers are going to suffer on this game. I want to get it just because it looks gorgeous. It looks like it's fun. But if it gets too-- it looks like it might be so difficult, like it's so intense that I might not have fun with it. Really? That's just-- Wait, it was so intense, like you're going to have too much-- like you're going to get too into it? I'm going to pee like this. It's like, OK, so I have to hack this robot to do this, and then I have to change the-- But do you always have to do that shit in video games? You always have to go, it's like, I have to get the stone shaped like a unicorn, and bring it over to the thing that looks like it has a whole shape like that. Right, but this is all like one sequence there. I'll show you this development-- OK, if you guys can go out and watch the Bioshock trailer, forgot who, but someone on our-- I point there because that's where his computer is. That someone posted it on the forums, and this I'm not too big of a gamer. I know you guys probably noticed. But I will definitely come over to play this. Watch me play it. And then the next two are, well, one Mass Effect is the next one, which the reason I actually bought a 360 was for this game. Right, you've been talking about this for a long time. I love the concept of this game. It's putting out by BioWare, who did nights at the Old Republic, Star Wars. KOTAR. KOTAR. I know it is KOTAR. That good, good. But they really know how to make an RPG that is interesting. How are we good? I love the Final Fantasy series and all that. But really, the only reason I play the Final Fantasy series as a casual gamer is the same reason most people do is for the visuals back when they were FMVs, full vision videos. I can't do the Final Fantasy series. No, and I can't fucking do it. You know why? OK, this is why, by the way, my favorite video game of all time. I can play video games when I can afford it. But I'm like, I'm Guatemalan. I'm Guatemalan, so I'm poor. You know what? That was actually a really fun game. Don't knock Aladdin for Genesis, because that was fucking good game. But actually, kind of related, Kingdom Hearts. Kingdom Hearts is my favorite game that I've ever played ever. I cried at the end of the second one. Whenever you have turning points and shit like that, they have new characters that they develop and they have, and they're fantastic. And the cool part is that it has all the best parts of the Final Fantasy series and even some Final Fantasy characters in it. Has cloud, it has-- Sephiroth. Yeah, it has all these fucks. And I was like, coolest guys. But the thing is that you actually run around. And actually, when you see enemies, you're like, you know what? I'm going to hit them, because at Final Fantasy, it feels like I'm going to go home, think about it. OK, let's say you're fighting with some guy in high school, you're like, you and me, let's go. Ready? And then you-- No, no, but it's based on-- But then you run home. It's based on the paper. Will you roll the dice to-- That's what Final Fantasy has all the RPG to do. I can't get into that, because it feels like you're running home, writing down what you're going to punch them, handing it to them, and then doing it. It's not real action. No, it's not that. But that's the thing. You can have both elements. And if you let me finish, just shh. So the reason I liked the couture and what BioWare did was because they eliminated that to an extent. It was more towards real time, but you still had the ability to pause it, the action, and then set up what you wanted to do. But then they get a little bit further away from that. I mean, I never did that, because I'm all about instant gratification. So I'm just hitting fucking x, x, x. That's just me. But Mass Effect, episode 31, all about the masturbation movements. But Mass Effect, if you've seen any trailers for this, you know that it just looks gorgeous. It's the first game on a next gen system that I actually feel is next gen graphics. Because they really make you feel for the characters, because all the characters have emotion, their faces portray emotion. From what I've seen so far, their lip sync is really good. And-- So Mass Effect, fucking get it. Absolutely. What do we got? Then, of course, Assassin's Creed. Assassin's Creed is coming. It used to be just a PlayStation 3 title when it was announced last year in E3 now. But of course, because PlayStation 3 is suffering horribly, Ubisoft has now gone and made it cross-platform to the Xbox 360. Nice. Yes. And they've actually showed some footage, and they did a full hands-on demo in this. People are just jumping ship with that system. Well, good. They should. Jesus Christ. I don't know if you actually saw any of this, because you're not a big gamer, but in Assassin's Creed, you will cream your pants. I will cream my pants. Assassin's Creed should be called. Fantastic. Do you ever play any of the Prince of Persia games? I play the first one, and I try to get through it. But you're not talking about the first one, like the one on the computer, I'm like-- I'm talking about the first one for the PS2. Oh, OK. The Sands of Time. Right. Right. And so you're running-- But you're all the physics of it, right? Yeah, it looks pretty cool. It's great. It just wasn't a type of game that I could get into. I like games that I feel emotionally bound to. What if I told you that they took those formats, the free-running style of-- Right, and put it into a-- And put it into a open sandbox, sort of like the GTA series, where you can go anywhere, do anything. Part of the whole thing is that you're an assassin, so you have-- Yeah, but the thing about all those games that are like, dude, hey, you can now do absolutely anything you want. Like, they always fall short. It's always just like, oh, let me go in this building. This building is a wall. Well, you know, anything that we're saying right now, how great these games-- Bioshock, all these other games. You know, give it a few months. Give it to September when these games actually come out. I'm very skeptical about these games. And then, you know, and I am too. I get excited, but at the same time, they're just video games. But at the same time, I like reading, watching. The reason I liked "Watch It's Fuck"-- super bad, so much reason I like "Girls"-- because I fucking connect to that shit. But when you have shit, I'm a god manning a bunch of demons, doing all this type of medieval random shit. I can't get into those types of games. I like games where there's a love interest involved, or because I'm hopeless romantic. And there's an app-- Fuck you, BJ. That's all right. I love BJ. It's just like, he's a-- No, you're not. You're a liar. I'm just flat out. But I love stuff that you can actually feel like you're living it, and not like you're playing a character that you don't even give a fuck about. I'll lend you Indigo Prophecy. Really? I'll lend you Indigo Prophecy. Indigo Prophecy? Yeah. Should I get that? Well, I'll lend it to you. OK. See what you-- All right, what have I also got? Let's go back to this. So we-- also, let's see. Let's just cover a basis. PlayStation 3 had some announcements. They showed Metal Gear Solid 4, which looks gorgeous. I'll say this about PlayStation 3. The graphics on that system look insane. But the problem is, is that I'm not going to spend $600. And it's ugly. Yeah, for a system that takes up half of my, you know, my counter space. Yeah, it's as tall as, like, my mom. That's right. They showed some stuff for Ratchet and Clank, which would be the only-- Did you ever get into the Ratchet and Clank series? I love other ones. Really? What do you like some-- I mean, it seems like it really does have a lot of, like, comic, like, it's very fun. It's really awesome. It's really well written. They have a great-- was that them with the great fucking-- with the great fucking ad campaign, where they have all these kids bring with these random weapons. Yeah, the suck gun. Yeah, it has that dark-- Oh, Jesus. [SCREAMS] Yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh. What's that? You don't feel your balls. That's right. That's right. You can't feel my balls. Why, because I'm a man. Let me tell you something geekscape as hell, yeah. Hell, yeah. I just came out of this freaking jungles at Guam to bring you guys tons of news. What are you guys talking about playing hanky-panky? My name's Sam. Are you going to stand for super action, man? Hell, yeah, I'll be a comic con. I heard there's going to be a big commie insurgents over there. I'm the only guy who can stop it. All right. So will we see you there? Shut the hell up. You won't see me there. Behind the scenes, bitch. That's the way I do it. You think the Viet Cong saw me coming? No, I don't think so. Not until they felt the blood flow down their chest when I slit their throats from behind. I'm like the fucking wind, bro. Like, I can hear you over there, OK? Chubby checkers, don't be trying to pull no bullshit on me. All right, man. What the hell you guys talking about? All right. We were almost done with E3 here. We're talking about video games. Ben was ranting about video games for a little-- What is that? Pinko missile? The hell is E3? Ben, give it up. Were you almost-- were you done? What are you going to do now, super action, man? What are you going to do now? Like-- like-- like-- like-- like-- like-- like-- like-- like-- [GRUNTING] You got to use their weight against them. You got that. I learned that against a big-ass Russian motherfucker came against me on the top of the Berlin wall. Oh, my god. Well, that's pretty awesome. Super action, man. Can I ask you a question? Yeah. I noticed that the top half of your body is very baby smooth. And yet, you have the hairiest legs of any baby I've ever seen. What is that? Is that-- is that something for your missions? The actual baby is what I'm getting sick. Hey, Yogi Bear, shut the hell up. You got to learn how to put them down vocally and physically. This is called keeping warm. If you open your mouth again, I'll be keeping myself warm in your fat carcass. Now, a super action, man. Who's your hero? Why don't you pick up the mic, dumbass? What would you say is one of your heroes? Because you guys have the other one. Smart guy. Give me a mic. Why don't you follow it? This is going to sound shitty for a second. You guys in blood, brownies now. Who is this guy? I'm sitting on this. This whole thing probably sounded terrible. So, uh, "Surraction, man. Who is one of your heroes?" Well, thanks for the-- A lot of fakers out there. Thanks for the slap, by the way. It felt nice. Chucky N, one of them. Chucking Norris. I think that guy's full of-- You know what, Miss Chucky N? That's damn right. More like Chucky Cheese, a little wimp. Now, could you kick Chuck Norris' ass? I mean, I've heard he can level mountains by blinking and shit. If I stared at Chuck Norris, he would run. Do you understand that? What are your feelings on Steven Segal? I heard you guys had a rivalry. Steven and I are good friends. Really? Yeah, he's not what I heard. No, shut your mouth. What the hell are you been listening to? Well, he has his own energy drink. What do you got? My jizz is my own energy drink. You hear that? I'll slap a couple of sauces in your mouth. See what happens? You'll probably blow your balls off. Oh, man. I'm the hardest thing this side of-- I don't know. There's nothing been this hard ever. I saw a rescue dawn last weekend, and it took those guys, like, maybe like a year to escape from a camp in Vietnam. How long do you think it would take you? Do I got two picks? Oh, no, all you've got is-- Give me two picks. I'll get out on the more mills. All you've got is your body and your clothes. And a single nail. OK, first thing I do is I shoot the nail at my re-throw. I get myself super pumped on Roy's, and I shoot that thing through the wall, taking out a couple of those nips in the process, making my way over their bodies. Probably use one of them as a disguise as I float down the river. It's how I escaped that opinion. All right, we doing a show? Are you guys just going to play grab ass? All right, you wanted to talk about the Wii. Let me tell you about the Wii. This new gun they've got out? Hell yeah, bro. Let me tell you why the Wii is the best system ever, because you feel it. You have to live it every time you play. I hear you guys play Tiger Woods sitting here like this. Uh-uh, I send that ball for miles with a real swing. And this new gun that comes out, man, if they ever bring out duck hunt, it's going to be duck massacre. That's the way I play, OK? It's going to be-- shut your mouth. We're going to be eating poultry for a long time if they bring out some duck hunt. All right, they got this new Metroid game. Hell yeah, I'll shoot some it. I'll kill some alien ass. That sounds like fun to me. What are you looking at, Wadi? That's true for watermelon. You like that one? Go eat something fatty. All right. Here we are. We fit-- what is this? We fit. This is like a-- this is like a power pad. Look. Look into it. OK, what else we got? Mario Galaxy. I've been one side of this galaxy the other. Ain't no ass. I can't stick my foot in. OK, there's a couple of things I want to tell you guys. Johnny's over there crying because you guys haven't been buying enough t-shirts. Start buying t-shirts so I can rip them off your bodies when I kick your ass. All right, go to the geekscape.net store and geekscape.net and go to the web store. Start kicking some ass, man. Hey, dude, are you a Simpsons fan? What's up with the Simpsons? Well, we're going to go see-- I don't know about you, but I mean, John and Ben and anyone else who wants to come, we're all going to go out at the week of Comic-Con. And Friday night, we're actually going to be watching the Simpsons movie. I think we're catching an eight o'clock screening. And did John tell you the theater? Yeah, dumbass. It's the gas lamp 15 at 8.15, OK? That's the Simpsons screen we're going to. There's more information geekscape.net on the forums. You check that out. Yeah, and so-- Get your crap together, all right? That mission briefing was pretty easy. And so make sure that you guys hit up the forums to find out more information geekscape.net Not only that, Johnny's going to be doing a panel. There's also going to be a show on Saturday. If you guys are going to be in San Diego, I might be. I might not. And you want to check geekscape.net, especially the forums, and find out all the info. Johnny's going to post it up when he's done crying about his t-shirt sales in Mexican Java coming to eat his ass. Eat his ass? That sounds gay. So also, make sure to-- I'll show you. You'll show me gay. Absolutely. When I turn you inside out, you got a nail? Give me a pink balloon. You want some energy drink? OK, so also make sure to add us on MySpace at myspace.com/geeekscape.net. And-- Dude, well broke. And I'm sure that there is a Facebook-- there is a geekscape Facebook group for those of you that are on Facebook. Get on that. It's called Geeks Do It Better. And yeah, thanks. This has been episode 31 of-- Ben, you did a great job. Don't you point that thing at me, man. I'm going to have a flashback. I'm going to have a freaking flashback. And then I'm going to rip in your spine. Oh, man. You better turn that camera off. Because this crap's going to be the ultimate YouTube. Let me tell you this thing. You're lucky this thing wasn't an AK bullet, bro. Because let me tell you-- He's lucky that it's not an AK bullet. It would have bounced off my high and ended up in your eyeball, bro. All right. My name is super action, man. Sam, for short. I kick ass. Will you see me in San Diego? I don't think so. I think you'll feel me before you see me. All right. Have a good one, guys. OK. [BLEEP] [LAUGHTER] [INTERPOSING VOICES] [INTERPOSING VOICES] [LAUGHTER] [INTERPOSING VOICES] [LAUGHTER] What's the language? [INTERPOSING VOICES] [BLEEP] What kind of music do you guys listen to? I listen to some country. Favorite artist? Carrie Underwood, I think. Or Kelly Clarkson. Kelly Clarkson. And she likes Elvis, too. I like oldies myself. Do you hear Elvis again? Carrie Underwood's hot. Do you think Carrie Underwood would go out with me? In your dreams, maybe. Seven years. Yeah, she might have set you up with her. Can you make that phone call? Yeah. And a few minutes later, she'd whack you on the head with her violin. She doesn't play the violin, Dumbo. Hey, whoa, whoa. No need for Dumbo. OK, her microphone then. There's no need for Dumbo. A paparazzi camera. OK, can you make that phone call? I could try. All right, you call-- As long as this stays on. How would you sell me to Carrie Underwood? I would lie. [LAUGHTER] I agree. [LAUGHTER] [BLEEP] You want to know my training regimen? Yes. All right, man. Let me tell you, you want to get ripped like me. Couple of things you've got to do. First, don't eat anything but combi brains. Don't eat anything. Second, look at shit until it explodes. That's a power I've got, all right? I can literally stare into your soul and make it explode. Don't you start crying on me, soldier. We're not through with this yet. [ Silence ]