Travis Billy Ross Outlaw Country Show
Episode 8
(upbeat music) - I got the whiskey. - Let me have a drink here, whiskey. - Gonna get out of here. (upbeat music) - My name's Ken and I clean Willie Nelson's under hole. - Under hole. (upbeat music) - I know you don't agree, but I think he's the king of country. - Get the fuck out of here. (laughing) - Get out of my studio. - I'm scared. No, hell no. (upbeat music) - From the Ramona Radio Studios, it's the Travis Billy Ross Outlaw Country Show. (upbeat music) - All right, welcome to the Outlaw Country. So I'm Travis Billy Ross with me today as always. Sweet curbs. - Hey, hey. - Hey, hey. And then we also got Cassie Goforth with us. - Hello. - How are you, Miss Cassie? - I'm doing good. How are you today? - Doing good. And also with us as always, Eric Goforth. - Hi. - Hi. - Hi. - Hey. - Hey. (laughing) - That's a hot part mean. - All right, so today's episode's brought to you by. (laughing) - Today's brought to you by Outlaw Barbecue. - Dean, Outlaw Barbecue. We love you, man. We love you, Barbecue. He does all kinds of crazy events. - Speaking of hot stuff, right? Outlaw Barbecue. - Hot stuff. Heck yeah. Give him a call today, eight, five, eight, three, five, four, seven, seven, one, two. Book your next event, party, Barbecue. Always the good stuff. - Divorce. - Nobody wants to party with salads. They gotta have the meats. - Cut stuff. - And Dean's got 'em. - All right, so today's was gonna be a very special show. Unfortunately, there were some shipping issues if you listened to our last episode. Sweet curbs won the contest as always, which is bullshit. (laughing) - It's really benefited me this time. - Yeah, right. - This was a good one to win. - I know, I wanted that one. - All right, so unfortunately, due to shipping issues and tattoo gun needles, they're hard to come by these days, I reckon. No, not really. - No, the post office just closed today. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - Holding my step hostage. - The post office. - It's always closed on Sunday. - It's always closed office, closed on Sunday. - We didn't plan ahead. - Yeah, we should've got it yesterday. But you know what? We are procrastinators, and that's what we do. Because we drink a lot. (laughing) - Your father's day gift is there, too. (laughing) - And the stupidest ideas are usually spontaneous. - Right after drinking. - Right after these. - About hour one, 15th into the show. (laughing) - After even drinking a lot. - But I do want to say that I've become a little more educated on exactly what I proposed last week. - Okay. - And so, I'm really, like, I'm a little nervous. - Let's dive into that, Eric. - Yeah, okay, so. - Yeah, if you hate it, how about this? - What did you think was gonna happen with your tattoo? - Well, so I don't know why, but I kind of thought. (laughing) - I, yeah. (laughing) - At some point, I remember here Kirby talk about this new tattoo thing that she's got going on, and you and her and Travis and Kirby were playing, and we thought that was a little silly, and then somewhere I heard that it isn't tattoo, but it really only lasts like a few weeks. - Well, I did say that because some of mine are very shallow 'cause we didn't know what we were doing yet. We've been practicing. - So you can imagine my, well, two surprises. One, I was surprised why you guys were making such a big stink out of big tattoos, so. - Yeah, you want a giant tattoo, but I'm like-- - Yeah, where is my murder? - I don't know, the size of a half dollar, a whisker, I don't know. - You get a big one, what a big one. So funny, when I saw your face, when I was telling you, I was like, no, bro, these are permanent tattoos. This is like needles and real ink and shit. - The best twist, he refused to prove you. - He was thinking I'm joking whether he's like, get out of here. - We will be bonded for a life area. - Yeah, so let me tell you why some of these things fade away. Like a couple of the ones that I have is because they're on my hands. And usually the, you know, like if you do a palm tattoo, that doesn't last very long at all. - A lot of tattoo shops will not do your palm, or even I have a ring on my finger, and my tattoo artist would only do the top part of my finger. He wouldn't do in between or around the back. - Yeah, because-- - 'Cause he said it's a waste of money, it's gonna fade out. - They wear off, they fade off, 'cause your skin grows really fast on your palms. And you're always using, you know. - Right, right. - I think you got confused there, Eric. So good thing for you, the tattoo gun needles didn't show up on time, so we're not having-- - Or at least I know, at least you know, now we're to pecking to your finger. - Yeah. - But you know what, you know what-- - He's still committed, he's still committed. - You're gonna do it. - Shame on me for not asking all of the pertinent questions. I thought you guys would've been kind enough to say, hey, look, before you propose this. - Eric's tattoo is just gonna say, is this permanent question mark, right? - They will be talking about-- - I'd like you guys heard the surprise in my voice, but he decided that was the deal, so I'm like, I'm in. - I would've expected Travis to say, you know, they'll be talking about this in your, you know, in your eulogy, you know, or something, you know. But no, he didn't bother, he just sat there and let me, you know. - You know what, man, the way I feel about it. - But you know what, I'm a man of my word. - Yeah. - I lost, actually I didn't lose, I don't know how, I didn't lose or win. - You just see, we volunteered the whole team. - Yeah, Kathleen, I just got suckered in, we just got pulled in. - Hey, but you know what, it's really cool. Here's the way I think and feel about tattoos. I feel like, you know, it's, if it means something to you, part of your life or whatever, a thing that you're going through in your life or any, whether it be fun or bad or good, it's just something to remember this time, you know what I mean? Like, it'll be there forever and this has been a great time doing this show with you guys. And I think getting a tattoo all together in the same thing. I think that's freaking amazing. All right, so we're not doing tattoos today, so sweet curbs, I'm going to leave it-- - Tune in next week though. - Yeah, we are doing it. - We should definitely, definitely tune in next week 'cause we are going to get the correct needle. - So now the dilemma is, does Travis get a penalty or do I get a reward? - For today? - Yeah, for today. - Yes, for today's show. - What would you like sweet curbs, a reward or do you want me to be penalized in some way, shape or form? Do I have to say-- - George, stretch the king. - Well, no, that's old news. We have to think of something else. Like my girlfriend's shining star in the world and-- - Oh, I'll say that anyway. - Oh, look at you. - Ah, yeah. - Stupid. - Points, that's called getting points. - I don't know. - It wasn't in our manual. - But what would the reward be? That's what I'm saying. I got to know to weigh the pros and cons. Do I want to reward? What's in it for me versus-- - Queen Kirby is how he has to open every segment. - Oh, wait, I have to call you Queen Curb. - No, I don't want that. - Queen's sweet, sweet. - 'Cause he already calls me Sweet Curbs, which is so sweet. - Sweet Curbs, which is better. It really is better. - Sweet, Queen Curbs. (laughs) - No, that's not me, though. I'm just Sweet Curbs. - All right, well, let's play a couple of songs. Let's-- - We will discuss in the studio. - We're gonna mold that around. - Yeah, we'll mold that around. We'll play a couple of songs and Sweet Curbs will think about what she wants to do 'cause it's your day because you won. - Some ideas are spinning, so we'll be back. - All right, so what are some good songs? Let's do some songs about tattoos, yeah. - Oh, well, we'll find some. - We'll find some. - We'll find some. Let's give it a little sign. - Let's give it a little sign. - Oh, there we go. Whiskey river. (upbeat music) ♪ Don't let her be afraid ♪ ♪ Lost to me ♪ ♪ Whiskey river, don't run, run ♪ ♪ Where all I've got to care of me ♪ ♪ Oh, whiskey river, take my mind ♪ ♪ Don't let her be afraid, talk to me ♪ ♪ Whiskey river, don't run, run ♪ ♪ Where all I've got to care of me ♪ (upbeat music) ♪ I'm drowning in a whiskey river ♪ ♪ Bathing my memory in the wetness of its soul ♪ ♪ Feeling the amber current flowing from my mind ♪ ♪ I'm leaving hard you left so cold ♪ ♪ Whiskey river, take my mind ♪ ♪ Don't let her be afraid, talk to me ♪ ♪ Whiskey river, don't run, run ♪ ♪ Where all I've got to care of me ♪ (upbeat music) ♪ I'm drowning in a whiskey river ♪ ♪ Bathing my memory in the wetness of its soul ♪ ♪ Feeling the amber current flowing from my mind ♪ ♪ And leaving hard you left so cold ♪ ♪ Whiskey river, take my mind ♪ ♪ Let her memory, talk to me ♪ ♪ Whiskey river, don't run, run ♪ ♪ Where all I've got to care of me ♪ (upbeat music) ♪ Whiskey river, take my mind ♪ (upbeat music) ♪ Whiskey river, take my mind ♪ (upbeat music) ♪ The only two things in life that make it worth living ♪ ♪ Is guitars too good and firm feeling women ♪ ♪ I don't need my name in the marquee lights ♪ ♪ I got my song and I got you with me tonight ♪ ♪ Maybe it's time we got back to the basics of love ♪ ♪ Let's go to lookin' by Texas ♪ ♪ Whaling in where the end of the boys ♪ ♪ This successful life we're living ♪ ♪ Got us feelin' like the hat fields in the course ♪ ♪ Between angry lips, pain songs ♪ ♪ New barriers, train songs ♪ ♪ Blue eyes cryin' in the rain ♪ ♪ Out of lookin' by Texas ♪ ♪ Ain't nobody feelin' that no pain ♪ (upbeat music) ♪ So maybe let's sell your diamond ring ♪ ♪ Five some boots and faded jeans and go away ♪ ♪ Those broken ties jokin' mean ♪ ♪ In your high society you cry all day ♪ ♪ We've been so busy keepin' up with the Jones ♪ ♪ Four car garage and we're still buildin' up ♪ ♪ Maybe it's time we got back to the basics of love ♪ ♪ Let's go to lookin' by Texas ♪ ♪ Waitin' in where the end of the boys ♪ ♪ This successful life we're living ♪ ♪ Got us feelin' like the hat fields in the course ♪ ♪ Between angry lips, pain songs ♪ ♪ New barriers, train songs ♪ ♪ Blue eyes cryin' in the rain ♪ ♪ Without a lookin' by Texas ♪ ♪ Ain't nobody feelin' no pain ♪ ♪ Let's go lookin' by Texas ♪ ♪ We'll end well on that call ♪ ♪ This successful life we're living ♪ ♪ Got us feelin' like the hat fields in the course ♪ ♪ Between a pack of Williams, pain songs ♪ ♪ And jerry just train songs ♪ ♪ And blue eyes cryin' in the rain ♪ ♪ Without a lookin' by Texas ♪ ♪ Ain't nobody feelin' no pain ♪ - All right, that was a good one, man. I liked that one, Luke and Bob Texas. - And it was such a good one. - Yeah, good one. All right, sweet curbs, have you come up with a decision here on what you wanna do, a reward or punishment? - Well, we discussed it in the studio and we came up with a mutual reward for me. I don't know if I'd call it a punishment, but we're gonna make Travis play a song live in the studio, but he's gonna play one of my favorite songs that he sings and that is Outlaw Women by Hank Williams Jr. - Oh, God, I got you. - I think we're all winnin' on this one. - I know. - I think it is live. - Live. - I don't know what I'm playin'. - I mean, are you not used to it before? - I mean, this is new for me. I've never played in front of people before. - No warm enough. - No, close our eyes, babe. Everyone close your eyes, please. - Everybody, everybody, look that way. - No. (laughing) - All right, hold on. - Shit, he's like, wait, I usually at least have a stage. That's what it is. It just needs more of a spotlight. - I was not prepared for this. - It's hard. (gentle guitar music) ♪ Well, she works in the band ♪ ♪ And she works in the store ♪ ♪ And she don't go ♪ ♪ That old stuff anymore ♪ ♪ She likes to get high ♪ ♪ And listen to the band ♪ ♪ She likes to make love ♪ ♪ With her kind of man ♪ ♪ Peace ♪ ♪ Outlaw willing ♪ ♪ The first of their kind ♪ ♪ Outlaw willing ♪ ♪ They got here right on time ♪ ♪ Outlaw willing ♪ ♪ They don't need any gums ♪ ♪ Outlaw willing ♪ ♪ They're just out for fun ♪ (gentle guitar music) ♪ Well, in a way ♪ ♪ She's a lot like me ♪ ♪ She don't give a damn by society ♪ ♪ She might be a little rich girl ♪ ♪ Or she might be a fool ♪ ♪ She might be a married woman ♪ ♪ That needs a little more ♪ ♪ Peace ♪ ♪ Outlaw willing ♪ ♪ The first of their kind ♪ ♪ These outlaw willing ♪ ♪ They're right and high in '79 ♪ ♪ Outlaw willing ♪ ♪ They don't need any gums ♪ ♪ Outlaw willing ♪ ♪ They're just out for fun ♪ (gentle guitar music) ♪ Some call her lady ♪ ♪ Some call her other names ♪ ♪ But you won't ever call her ♪ ♪ That around me and my gang ♪ - All right, there you go, sweetheart. - So cool, thank you. - I appreciate your reward. - I appreciate your reward. (laughs) - I think you should do that a few more times tonight. I'm just saying. - Oh, man. - Yes. - Get out of here. - Yeah, no, we're gonna have to make welcome, highlump, like, during regular. (laughs) - I have to make that a regular career. - Is that the first time you've performed live in the studio? - Yeah. - Wow. - Yeah. - It's so silly. I mean, you're like the country artist in the whole region. - You gotta get out of here. (laughs) - I love you, man. (laughs) - I've got a little TBR right now. (laughs) - There's a few of them. - There's a lot of love floating around. - I'd ask Kirby to share, but she beat my ass. - Oh, my God. - Well, it wouldn't be sharing with just me. Like I said, there's a few bromances brewing out there with the whole TBR. - Right. (laughs) - I'm a man's man. - No. (laughs) - That was awesome. That was really cool, man. Thank you. That was cool. - Yeah, thank you. Yeah, shit. Thanks, sweet curves. I appreciate that. - Well, don't act like you enjoyed it so much. It's supposed to be a punishment, please. - She might come up with another one. - I like that. - Now you have to say George Strait's a king in country. - No. - At the beginning of every segment. - Say it. (laughs) - I'm just kidding. - Square one. - George Strait's a king of country. (laughs) - I'm just kidding. - You gotta say it regularly. - All right, say it like you made it. No. (laughs) - That's right. - All right, sweet curves, quick question. If you were stuck on an island somewhere, right? Let's say there was like a time thing, right? 10 years. You're stuck on an island for 10 years, and you had one song that you could listen to or bring with you, one drink, one food, and one person. What would those four things be? - Well, you would be my person. - Aw, you'd be my person, too. - He has kids, you all think about that? No, I'm just kidding. (laughs) - They're grown. - They're grown up. - They're grown up. - They're grown up. - I'm totally kidding. - It's just point they wouldn't be choosing him either. - So you, I promise. - Probably cheese, 'cause I love cheese. I really could eat cheese every day. - Cheese is delicious. - That's so good. Drink, Tito's and soda. - Tito's and soda? Okay. - And if it has to be just one singular item, probably like law or truly something like that? - If it can't be a mixed drink, you mean? - Yeah. - Oh, okay. - I mean, yeah, do we get the ingredients for the drink? - I mean, so you're there for 10 years, so there's like, let's say 150 gallons of something, like, do you know some sodas? - Sorry, I'll take 75 soda water, 75 Tito's. - I know, I'm like, hopefully I'm somewhere where there's limes growing. (laughs) - If all she's bringing, if all she's bringing is cheese with her, we're gonna have to parachute X-laxing. - Something here. (laughs) - Well, hopefully there's coconuts on there. - There's coconuts on there. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - That's a naturalizing. - Drop that all in. (laughs) - And then, artist or one song? - One song, it's on repeat, 24 hours a day. - 24 hours a day. - Oh, that's tough one, isn't it? - Oh, one song. - For 10 years. - One song, wow. - Now it's on repeat all day long, or I can just play it whenever I wanna play it. - No, repeat. - Okay. - It's over these mysterious loudspeakers you can't see. They just-- - I feel like any song on repeat for 10 years, you're gonna eventually just hit your head on a rock. - You have to. - Yeah. - All right, let me say, let me say. - I think the options should be whenever you wanna play it. - Nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah. - That would go insane after about three weeks. - That's what they call torture. - Yeah, that would be torture. - That's called torture. - Yeah, I mean, I love, you know. - Honestly, that's my song would be, 'cause I could listen to it forever, and it's such a fun song is, double went down to Georgia. (laughing) - From a previous episode, we know that you've already done that. (laughing) - And I know all the words, so we're good to go. (laughing) She has nothing left to learn, though. Like, maybe choose a new one, so at least you got 10 years to learn it, right? - A passion to fit a lot of like palm leaves and a stick and then learn to do something-- - I'm playing along. - I'm gonna come visit her island for the show. - Oh, man, that'd be great. So, okay, so you sit here. - Can I have one extra item, like just a luxury item? - Like one miscellaneous item. - Of course, yeah, I don't know. - Because if I'm on an island, I'm an Irish redhead, I'm gonna need some sunscreen. (laughing) - Yeah, I-- - Mud, mud, mud. - Mud, mud. - Yeah, yeah, I be covered with mud. - Man, yeah, that's a, you ever watched that show, where they're naked and they're naked and afraid. - Naked and afraid. - Naked and afraid. - I never understood it, I don't understand why it couldn't be called like bikini and afraid. Like, why do you have to be naked? I understand stripping you down completely, but if you're in a bathing suit-- - 'Cause do you know pretty bathing suits? - How many things you could use that bikini string for? - Yeah, you could. - Well, so maybe the rule is you don't need to use any of it that is just your cover. - Well, I don't know, they do provide 'em stuff. Like, they have a satchel and stuff like that too. - Yeah, you get to choose two things. - You get to choose two things. - You get to choose two things. - Six and four knives. - Six and three knives. - No, it's always flint in a machete. - Yeah. - Yeah. - Yeah. - Oh man, yeah. - The best one though, is like speaking of being on a deserted island, the people, you can use whatever washes up on shore. So like shirts washed up, they put shirts on, they got a water bottle, they used it to make like a filtering thing. - Do you know how much stuff there is in that ocean, right? - But on that same episode, the poor gentleman was a redhead and the lady was from Hawaii. - Oh, that's over there. - And he was so sunburnt in the first day because think about parts of your body that aren't normally exposed to the sun and your buck make it out in the elements. - And that blisters. - Yeah, no we don't know. - Yeah, he got, he was like out of commission for like after the first day for like three days like recovering from like severe sunburns. - Sunburns and poisoning, oh. - Oh my God, yeah. - All right, so you said Tito's and Sota's the drink. - You, Tito's and Sota, cheese. - Cheese. - Definitely went down to Georgia and sunscreen. - And sunscreen. - Ladies and gentlemen, Kirby's perfect life. - I'm a simple lady. (laughing) - Oh my God. - But if you're with me, you get your luxury item, I mean, you get all your items too. - I know, I'm like wait, so we got a double up. - So what would I think? - Yeah, what would you have? - Okay, so, well you already know my drink. I want some whiskey, that'd be great. - Perfect varieties, the spice of life. - I like some, I like about 150 gallons of gentleman jack. I'll be good. Let's see, something that I can bring. Oh, if I was able to bring a guitar, I would be music forever. - Okay. - But is that enough? - So you can still only play the one song on the guitar. - Yeah, you can play one song. Double went down to Georgia or your song. (laughing) You only get one song. - Now we get to play one song, that's lame. - No, you don't get to come up with a workaround. - No, no workarounds, right? Okay, so no guitar, obviously, so. And that would suck. - But where's the music coming from? Is this like a-- - It's just a ethereal-- - What's the call of the-- - It's kind of the slough. - Hidden camera situation where we think we're stuck and there's like speakers in the farm, so yeah. - It could be coming from the house. - Like the Truman show. - There's a monkey in the tree with a boombock monkey in the tree. - No, song. - Who really likes country music. - Song, I think I would probably pick country boy, can't survive, Hank Williams Jr. - Sweet. - That'd be a good one. All right, so you would be my also, my next pick also. - What would your food be? - Potato. - Cheese and potatoes are delicious together. I'm down with it. - No, you would do it with cheese and potato. - I might wait, do we get to share if-- - You guys can do the same? - Yeah, if I get a potato, I can make pretty much anything. I can make fries, I can make mashed potatoes, - Couldn't we use a potato in filtered water? - It'll be like that scene for fours go. - There's a lot you can do with potatoes. - You know what you can do with it. - Grow more potatoes. - You can do shrimp. - Yes, you can. - Grow more potatoes in the potato. - Jumbo shrimp. - Cut those eyes right off. - Barbecue shrimp, barbecue shrimp. You can do that all with a potato, too. Yeah. - All right, what else? What was the fifth one? - I think that's it. No, that's it. - You said guitar, me, potato. - Okay. - Country boy can survive. - All right. - What else? - Jack Daniels. - No, yes, gentlemen, Jack, okay. - So that you got your luxury item in there. - Yeah, that's all I need, man. - All right. - And you know what, I think that's all we would need to make a good country song. - Potatoes, gentlemen, Jack. - All right, potatoes. - I got this guitar. I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna. - No, I'm just kidding. (laughing) - We'll break up the song. - Yes, song. - I'm gonna make it. - About potatoes. (laughing) - Potatoes, a deserted island. Country boy can survive, and Jack Daniels whiskey. - Oh man, that's a country song right there. - All right, but, all right. So obviously you would take your spouse. I would take mine as well. But you couldn't, what? Maybe a celebrity. - Now Cassie, you're in an awkward situation 'cause if you don't wanna take him. - Oh, no, Cassie. Cassie would. - I kind of like my long time. - Yeah, no. - Cassie has to make somebody with her. - Yeah, Eric's fine, but you know, there's a. - I kind of like my little son. - Cassie with him, other things. - Cassie's like, I would find a deaf mute guy on the street. - I had to get a walkie talkie so I could talk to him every once in a while. (laughing) (laughing) - Cassie, I would like Helen Keller to go with me. (laughing) - Somebody that doesn't talk. - Do my animals constitute? - Oh, how bad is it if it was my animals? I don't know if I would take Titan or my turkey. - That's a problem. - That's my dog, by the way, our dog. - I would probably take Titan because he could probably learn how to hunt, I mean, he was a stupid-ass dog and he doesn't know how to do anything. - But the turkey lays eggs. - Oh, that is true. We have food. - I do taste like chicken eggs, y'all. I've tried 'em. - No, I've tried 'em too and they taste like turkey. - But that might end up having to be your food then, so you'd have to give up your cheese and your potato. - Yeah, but the only problem that is- - Well, the naturally just produces that I can't. - Well, how long do turkeys live? 'Cause we're there for 10 years. - Well, when it stops producing eggs, eat it. - When we got our turkey, I looked it up and it said domestic turkeys, males can live seven to nine years and females eight to 10 years. - Eight to 10? All right, so we're going long. We're going, hopefully this week turkeys aren't gonna last 10 years. 'Cause I'm eating eggs, I'm eating one egg a day. - Five, babe. - Can you survive off of a half of a frickin' egg a day? - Best diet I've ever been on. - Oh my god, can you imagine what the cave would smell like? - If we're just eating eggs, come on. - Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god. - Oh, wait a minute. - Oh my god. - This whole segment just took a full-on left-hand turn to ruin it back egg. - It always does, it always does. - It always does. - It always does. - It always does. - Welcome to the Travis Billy Ross Outlaw Country show. (laughing) - All right, what if you had to bring a celebrity, one celebrity? - One celebrity? - Kirby can't go, she's got a prior engage. - Do they have to be alive or live or dead? - No, a live or dead. - Anybody? - Anybody? - You guys spent 10 years. - Ah, with a celebrity. I like Cassie's idea of somebody not being able to talk. (laughing) - Charlie Chaplin, man. - No, Beethoven, man. - No, baby. - He was dead. (laughing) - I can play him songs all day. - That's true. - That sounds correct. (laughing) - He's like, I'm getting a musical mentor. - Thumbs down, good up, good up down. (laughing) - Oh my God. Where are we at? What the hell, what is this show about? - Oh, I don't know. - What are we doing here? - I thought I'm not sure any of us know a little more. - All right. - Yeah, all right. - Let's listen to music so we can. (laughing) - Right. - Figure out another topic here. 'Cause that was actually a good one. I appreciate that one. - All right. - I've also thought about stuff like that. - All right. (upbeat music) (upbeat music) ♪ There's two black marks on that county road ♪ ♪ Where we dragged raised our pick-ups ♪ ♪ And mustangs and weathered on ♪ ♪ All the sun and rain ♪ ♪ And to this day up on that overpass ♪ ♪ Even underneath the new paint ♪ ♪ You can still see ♪ ♪ The valley will, you marry me ♪ ♪ Let's take a ride and look around ♪ ♪ And there ain't no doubt ♪ ♪ It sure left its mark on us ♪ ♪ We sure left our mark on it ♪ ♪ We left the world no way we're here ♪ ♪ With everything we did ♪ ♪ We made a lot of memories down ♪ ♪ Like tattoos on this town ♪ (upbeat music) ♪ There's still a road burn on that old branch ♪ ♪ That hangs over the river ♪ ♪ I still got the scar ♪ ♪ Swinging out a little too far ♪ ♪ There ain't a corner of this battleground ♪ ♪ That we ain't left or cried on ♪ ♪ It's where we loved to live ♪ ♪ And learn real loud stuff ♪ ♪ It's everything we're made of ♪ ♪ We sure left its mark on us ♪ ♪ We sure left our mark on it ♪ ♪ We left the world no way we're here ♪ ♪ With everything we did ♪ ♪ We made a lot of memories down ♪ ♪ Like tattoos on this town ♪ ♪ With tattoos on this town ♪ ♪ Everywhere there we are ♪ ♪ This is me right in my heart ♪ ♪ We sure left its mark on us ♪ ♪ We sure left our mark on it ♪ ♪ We left the world no way we're here ♪ ♪ With everything we did ♪ ♪ We made a lot of memories down ♪ ♪ We'll always be hanging around ♪ ♪ Like tattoos on this town ♪ ♪ The tattoos on this town ♪ (upbeat rock music) (upbeat rock music) (upbeat rock music) (upbeat rock music) (upbeat rock music) ♪ There's still black marks on that county road ♪ ♪ Where we dragged raised our pickups ♪ ♪ And mustangs and weathered all the sun and rain ♪ ♪ And to this day up on that overpass ♪ ♪ Even underneath the new paint ♪ ♪ You can still see ♪ ♪ In the alley will you marry me ♪ ♪ Take a ride in the ground ♪ ♪ And there ain't no doubt ♪ ♪ We sure left its mark on us ♪ ♪ We sure left our mark on it ♪ ♪ We left the world no way we're here ♪ ♪ With everything we did ♪ ♪ We made a lot of memories down ♪ ♪ Like tattoos on this town ♪ (upbeat rock music) ♪ There's still a road burn on that old bridge ♪ ♪ That hangs over the river ♪ ♪ I still got the scar ♪ ♪ Swinging out a little too far ♪ ♪ There ain't a corner of this battleground ♪ ♪ That we ain't left or cried on ♪ ♪ That's where we loved ♪ ♪ Lived and learned real loud stuff ♪ ♪ That's everything we made of ♪ ♪ We sure left its mark on us ♪ ♪ We sure left our mark on it ♪ ♪ We left the world no way we're here ♪ ♪ With everything we did ♪ ♪ We made a lot of memories down ♪ ♪ Like tattoos on this town ♪ ♪ Like tattoos on this town ♪ (upbeat rock music) ♪ Everywhere there we are ♪ ♪ This is me right in my heart ♪ ♪ We sure left its mark on us ♪ ♪ We sure left our mark on it ♪ ♪ We left the world no way we're here ♪ ♪ With everything we did ♪ ♪ We made a lot of memories down ♪ (upbeat rock music) ♪ We'll always be hanging around ♪ ♪ Like tattoos on this town ♪ (upbeat rock music) ♪ And tattoos on this town ♪ (upbeat rock music) ♪ Like tattoos on this town ♪ (upbeat rock music) ♪ Like tattoos on this town ♪ (upbeat rock music) ♪ Like tattoos on this town ♪ (upbeat rock music) (upbeat rock music) (upbeat rock music) (upbeat rock music) ♪ You've come to tell me something ♪ ♪ You say I ought to know ♪ ♪ That he don't love me anymore ♪ ♪ And I'll have to let him go ♪ ♪ You say you're gonna take him ♪ ♪ Oh, but I don't think you can ♪ ♪ 'Cause you ain't woman enough to take my man ♪ (upbeat rock music) ♪ Women like you, they're a dime ♪ ♪ A dozen you can buy ♪ ♪ Anywhere ♪ ♪ For you to get to him ♪ ♪ I have to move over ♪ ♪ And I'm gonna stand right here ♪ ♪ It'll be over my dead body ♪ ♪ So get out while you can ♪ ♪ 'Cause you ain't woman enough to take my man ♪ (upbeat rock music) (upbeat rock music) (upbeat rock music) (upbeat rock music) (upbeat rock music) ♪ Sometimes a man's talk looking ♪ ♪ Had things that he don't need ♪ ♪ He took a second look at you ♪ ♪ But he's in love with me ♪ ♪ Well, I don't know where that leaves you ♪ ♪ Oh, but I know where I stand ♪ ♪ And you ain't woman enough to take my man ♪ (upbeat rock music) ♪ Women like you, they're a dime ♪ ♪ A dozen you can buy ♪ ♪ Anywhere ♪ ♪ For you to get to him ♪ ♪ I have to move over ♪ ♪ And I'm gonna stand right here ♪ ♪ It'll be over my dead body ♪ ♪ So get out while you can ♪ ♪ All the U.A. and woman enough to take my man ♪ (upbeat rock music) ♪ All the U.A. and woman enough to take my man ♪ (upbeat rock music) - All right, oh man, good old Loretta Lynn. In my opinion, also Queen of Country. Ma, I'm just gonna get Dolly, get out of here. - I mean, you know what, she was like, she was up there. No, no, no, I might take Dolly on an island, honestly. - Dolly, does it not like Queen of Country, but if someone else had the Ritalin, I couldn't dispute it. She's amazing, she's a close second, I love the Ritalin. - Close second, yeah, okay. Did we get to you, Cassie? - No, we kind of have joked. - What would you bring on that island, Cassie? - Well, yes, Eric, of course. - Eric, of course. - No, I said, I need my me time. - You guys are so cute. (laughing) - Oh gosh, but. - What if it's a celebrity? What celebrity would you take? - I think I would take Dolly. - I really would, she's just the sweetest person ever. - Yeah. - And she's not gonna be a pain in my ass, so. - I just read a, it was like a story about Dolly Parton, and it was on Facebook, so I don't know if it was true, but it, based on what it was, it sounded like it was, and it was funny, it was, she was doing a concert and this drunk man in the back of the auditorium wherever she was playing yelled out. I love you, Dolly. And she said, yelled back, I love you too, baby, but I told you to wait in the truck. (laughing) Yeah, I don't know, that wouldn't suck. Out of all the celebrities you can think of, there's a lot of prima donas out there, man. - That's funny, that's awesome. - All right, so Dolly, what about your drink? - Oh yeah, you're your one food item. - The drink, come on, you gotta get the drink. - My drink. - What was your drink, Eric, 'cause she's got a plan. - Yeah. - Really, and I wasn't ready. - Eric's all, Eric's all, Eric's all, Eric's all. I've drink twisted tea. (laughing) - He probably just picked straight tea, and then I'd have to get vodka, so I could make myself a twisted tea. - That's just right, it would be true, yeah. (laughing) - Were you still ordering in restaurants with things that might put you down? - I got 10 years, I would just be out there making sun tea all day. (laughing) - Tea? - Tea? (laughing) - Yeah, he'd bring ice tea, and I'd bring vodka. - You can ferment anything with any kind of sugar in it, right? - Yeah. - So, I would, you know, back in the trees, I'd have all kinds of stuff. - So is your food sugar cane? - Yeah, sugar cane, yeah. - Oh, you'd have a whole moonshine back in there. (laughing) - This has happened. (laughing) - That was a brewing prologue bite. - It started with figs. Let me see. Yeah, no, if you're bringing sugar, that helps. - Yeah. - But I have potatoes too. - Hey, we can make vodka at potatoes, you know that. - True. - Yeah, oh, potatoes. - Oh, there you go, but I already got Jack Daniel's song. - But, and you do still need some form of sugar to get that fermentation, or some yeast. - Coconut, you're on an island. - Coconut. - Coconut. - Coconut. - Coconut vodka, that doesn't sound bad. - No, no. - Coconut vodka. - Coconut vodka. That doesn't sound bad. - No, no. - Coconut vodka. - Coconut vodka. That doesn't sound bad. - Coconut vodka. - That's like coconut rum. - Oh, yeah. - Which actually leads kind of to my song. - If there's sugar cane and coconuts, you're making rum, for sure. - Oh, rum's getting made. - Oh, rum's getting made. - Which is actually probably my go-to drink. - Rum? - Spiced rum. - Yeah. - Oh, and then you can do rum in the coconut water. - Right. - It gets hydrate, electrolytes. - Do you see it? - Yeah, it's a very good one. - It's a very good one. - It's a very good one. - It's a very good one. - It's a very good one. - It's a very good one. - It's a very good one. - It's a very good one. - It's a very good one. - It's a very good one. - It's a very good one. - It's a very good one. - It's a very good one. - It's a very good one. - It's a very good one. - It sounds weird. - It is good. - Try it. - I just prefer some pineapple juice. - Pineapple juice. - Now, the most versatile, I think, is still vodka. Just vodka goes with anything. - Yeah, you can make that taste like butter. - I was on a business trip once, and me and my buddies went out to the bar for a while. We came back, and we started saying that vodka goes with everything. - Yeah. - I got pictures of us drinking vodka milk. - Oh, yeah. - I do remember that. Oh, my goodness. - I would venture to say that either one thing. - Yeah. - It doesn't go in exactly. - Yeah. - Yeah, bad decisions. - No, you're talking about, what do you call them, white russians? - White russians. - There are cream-based vodka drinks. - But there's sweetness in that, does vodka milk sounds terrible? - No, there's vodka, kaloo, and milk, right? - I think that that point vodka quite literally could have gone with anything, and we would have celebrated it. - If Bill was the last taste test you did, yeah, I was probably like, "By the time you were doing that experiment." - By the time you were doing that experiment, the whole vodka experiment had been going on. - That was, like, for a couple of hours. - Yeah. - Everything tasted good. - To my buddy Chad, if you're out there, I still remember, my friend. - I still remember. - Some of that pool water, we're going to try this out. - Oh, it would still be great. - Oh my gosh. - Vodka goes with everything. - But see, now what am I going to make you listen to forever? - Yeah. - What song would you do? - Knee deep. - Knee deep. - Zack Brown. - Is that Brown? - Yeah. - That's a good song. - It's a good island song. - I love the island country kind of thing, right? - Have you heard Zack Brown that song down in the island? - Yes. - I like that one too. - I like that one too. - Yeah. - If you want to goop. - Yeah. - What is the other one you guys say? - I got a beach song. - I'm a big Zack Brown guy. - Some beach. - No, it's Zack Brown song. - Oh, toes? - Toes. - Oh, start over. Yeah, that's a good one too. - Yeah. - Toes is also a beachy guy. That was when Zack Brown kind of went into like his, his, you know... - Jimmy Buffett era? - Yeah. - He went into the Buffett era and Alan Jackson got in there. - John Hancock was saying, what was he calling it? - Beach Country. - Yeah. - Yeah. That was when Zack Brown kind of went into that. - That's... - Good stuff. - I'm a Zack Brown fan. - All right. - What about you, honey? What are you going to torture me with? - All right. What are we doing? - Well, yeah. Drink, I think we covered the drink. What else? Oh, food. We got a food thing. - Yeah. You said sugar cane. What? - Yeah, sugar cane. - What song are you going to torture me with? - Probably this one. - All right. - So we've been told that... - Do I really still have to say... - Is this a pro? - Curtis. - Kermit the frog. - Kermit the frog. - Yeah. - So do I... Can I change my mind? - Yeah. - Take a doll. - Yeah. - Take a doll. - It's Kermit the frog, sing a rainbow connection. - See, I'm very shocked that it wasn't Millie Vanilly Blame it on the rain. - I thought it was going to be Millie Vanilly too. - I thought it was going to be Millie Vanilly too. - Yeah. [laughter] - There you go. Welcome to my island. - Oh, my God. - Yeah. It'll be just Kermit singing. - Just Kermit the frog. - Just Kermit. Yeah, no. - It's a Jim Henson stuff. - Yeah. Yeah. - You can just laugh. I would laugh so hard. - So we got Kermit and Zach Brown, but we've also got sugar cane. - You can make fun. - We can make whatever we want. - Yeah. - Ten years. - Yeah. - Yeah. - People are going to come visit our island just because we got a sugar cane we can make rum. Yeah, you'll have rum after six months. You're set. - Yeah. - We're set. - Yeah. - We'll make a rum. You'll be fine. - It's funny. - Gotta have some kind of way to make a still. Oh, man. Have you ever made beer? - Oh, yeah. - Oh, I had a big brewery for a while. - Yeah. - Oh, yeah. - Yeah. - Yeah. - It's pretty fun, actually. - I really liked it. The science of it. The whole deal. Oh, yeah. I had the, you know, the scopes and the. - Oh, yeah. - Oh, yeah. - Remember how we were talking about mad scientist last week? - Yeah. - Yes. That's why I said this fits. You don't even understand. - Yeah. Yeah. I got my American pale. I got it down so good. - Yes. - You should make a marijuana radio as fast. - A Ramona radio brew. - Yeah. - We should do it. - We should commission that. - All right. - Not to know how. - Yeah. - I know how you know how to do it. We both know how to do it. - Well, yeah. - We still have some of the equipment. We don't have the big equipment anymore. But we have the small equipment. - I still have a much, yeah, I still have most of the gear. - Let's just use one of those. What are they called? The low voice? - Yeah. We've got that. - The glass jokes. - Car voice. That's for the fermenting. I'm not going to do it. I don't have the time. You don't have the time. - But we do know. - But if somebody wants to make a beer for the Ramona radio, I'm a paleo guy. - Natalie, Mike, are you listening? - Yeah. - I know. I think we have some friends. - So if you want to commission a beer, we will get behind you 100%. - Oh, yes. - It'll be cool. It'll be fun. - Anyway, Mike. - Yeah, we're throwing it out there. - My good friend Ian Zubon. - You have to share your recipe and see if they can replicate that one, honey. - Right. Yeah. Anyway. - I digress. - All right. So we were all talking about hypotheticals and whatnot. And I think that's going to be kind of the theme to the show because the next hypothetical. - Yes. - Let's just imagine for a second that there's 10 days left of the world. - Okay. - What are you doing? What are five things that you would do in those 10 days that are left? Let's say there's a meteor coming for the earth or something like that or whatever. Who knows? - Well, I'd hope both of us would go to Texas and see our family. - You want to see family for people? - That's cool. - Absolutely. - Absolutely. They go straight to the heart. We're doing stupid shit. - Yeah. - Yeah. You know what I'm saying? - I want to try $3,000 Jack Daniels. You know what I mean? - Well, you can do that with your family. - We do. We've had some of these strange conversations. He just wants me to dream with him and be silly and I'm like, no, I have to go see my family. I have to get in touch with my kids. - Okay. - I have a lot of stuff to do. I've got to make sure that my parents are in order to family if I was alone wolf in the world. - Yeah, there's a lot of land Rover. - Buy a land Rover and only be able to drive it for 10 days. - Well, who cares? I don't have the money to buy it anyway. - She would steal. - Oh, I know her. She would be fault on my credit and say screw it. - No, you know what I would do? - No. - Because I wouldn't buy a land Rover. - No. - I would buy. This is actually what I would do. - I'd go steal a land Rover. - If I had no family and no ties to hold me down. - I would buy like a giant luxury motor home and I would just drive all over the country for 10 days and do all the little bucket list shit all over the world that I mean the country that I've always wanted to do. Go see the world's biggest ball of twine, world's biggest frying pan. Just stupid shit. - Really? It's so great. They are. - The world's biggest cookie. - Yeah, all of it. - Things like that. - Yeah. - The world's what's that one? The world's biggest mud ball or something like that. - Yeah. - I'm sure it's somewhere. - Yeah, I'm sure there's something somewhere. - Oh, there's something that's biggest. - There's all the twine thing at that you mentioned. - I don't know. - So the only reason I know that is because there's a movie with John Travolta. It's called Michael and he's an angel but he's like a weird quirky angel and he does all this stuff and they go see the world's biggest ball of twine. Let's look. - Yeah, I remember that movie. It was called. - It's all from all over to see that Baker thermometer, right? - Oh, that's Baker. Yeah. I try to buy that all the time when I go to Las Vegas and I've seen it many times. - And that's a huge draw. It's crazy. - It's like the world's biggest thermometer, right? - Yeah. - It's always freaking hot. - And it's always freaking hot. - Every freaking time I've driven through there, it's always at the peak. - Yeah. - Do you know what I would do? - The world's biggest ball of twine is in, I think it's pronounced cocker, C-A-W-K-E-R, city, Kansas. - I'm cool with that. - But here's what we're saying. If I have no family, what else am I going to do? - She says if I'm a lone wolf in the world, that's what she's going to do. - But realistically, at this moment, I found out there were 10 days left in the world. I would get on the first plane to Texas. - And then I would get all of my friends and go square dancing. - Square dancing. - Yeah. - He wants to Alabama left. - I would like. - Swing your partner, don't say no. - Tie the yellow river round. - My sister. - My sister. - We do that right now. - I know. - Swing your partner round and round, grab him by the button, boogie down. - Yeah. - My sister and I, that was our fourth grade version of knowing how to square dance. - I remember that in like second grade doing the square dance and stuff. - I did it in fourth grade and I never got to do the recital because like we learned them all and it was supposed to be a thing in our auditorium with all the fourth graders and our parents are going to come. - Yeah. - And then I got strep throat and I didn't get to go. - Oh Kirby, have you not ever squared out since? - No. - Okay. - Two patients. - Okay. - I can Dosey doe like a mofo though. You just wait. - I've been waiting for the perfect opportunity to showcase. - Dosey doe like mofo. - We are going to host a square dancing night. - I've been practicing for it. - I can see it like 28 years. - So that might be day two on the second day of the 10 day of the last day. - Yeah. - That's funny. - Day two, square dancing. - Yeah. - We got square dancing. - Bucket list, square dancing. - I mean Kansas City, if that seems like a pretty country place, if I go see the world's biggest ball of twine, I'm sure there's somewhere I could go see Dosey doe. - I'm sure there's somewhere I could go to square dance and Dosey doe. - See? I started something. - I like that. - My ideas aren't that dumb. - See there? I like it. - You know what I'm saying? - Nah. I dig it. Yeah. [music] I could spray paint, I love you on that bridge or in the sky. And I could spray when you see it to me, there's a good chance I could fly And I might, it seems like, yeah, if it's gonna be any night might as well be tonight. There's this thing that you do, you don't know that it does something to me, yeah. It's in the way that you sway, that you talk, that you touch, that you kiss, that you breathe, that I need. Look at me, girl, you're shaking things up like you wouldn't believe. Crashing my comfort zone, set me free. It's a fool who thought never dreamed, can't play. Your name, your name sounds so good next to mine, just saying. And I think, I think, I'm gonna put it in on my rhymes, baby. Swear to you, I'm gonna do quite a few things that I never thought I would do. Your name, your name, your name, be a good tattoo. Be a good tattoo, be a good tattoo. It can't end on my skin, tie me up, make it last against the time. This is more than a picture that fades up our first date, Friday night. It's uneraseable, uneraseable, hey, everybody wants to know. Now I think I know I'll wear it with my sleeve, I gotta let it show. Making it prime and exit, never want to go. Your name, your name sounds so good next to mine, just saying. And I think, I think, I'm gonna put it in on my rhymes, baby. 'Cause we're you, I'm gonna do quite a few things that I never thought I would do. Your name, your name, your name, be a good tattoo. Oh, my life, all I got is this one heart to give. Oh, my life, all it's time I've been searching for this. Oh, and it looks like I found it. Your name, your name sounds so good next to mine. And I think, I think, I'm gonna put it in on my rhymes, yeah. 'Cause we're you, I'm gonna do quite a few things that I never thought I would do. Your name, your name, your name, be a good tattoo. Be a good tattoo. Only you, baby, only you, no, only you, no, no. I'm married to the good life, I said I'd be a good boss, and I put on history. I drive a number of ladies, flakin' us with the ladies, and by all the finer things. But all that don't mean nothing, but when you can't get a good night to life in. Oh, little rock, think I'm gonna have to slip you off. Take a chance tonight and I'm tired and locked. There's more to life than more to I got. Oh, little rock, you know this heart of mine just can't be bought. I'm gonna find some more that really cares a lot, when I slip off this little rock. Well, I wonder if you miss me, he doesn't even kiss me, when he comes home at night. He never calls me honey, but he sure loves his money, and I'm the one who pays a prize. But when he finds this ring he'll sing, he keeps everything about me. Oh, little rock, think I'm gonna have to slip you off. Take a chance tonight and I'm tired and locked. There's more to life than more to I got. Oh, little rock, you know this heart of mine just can't be bought. I'm gonna find some more that really cares a lot, when I slip off this little rock. [music] Oh, little rock, think I'm gonna have to slip you off. Take a chance tonight and I'm tired and locked. There's more to life than what I got. Oh, little rock, you know this heart of mine just can't be bought. I'm gonna find some more that really cares a lot, when I slip off this little rock. [music] Down on the corner by the traffic light, if a bite is looking as she goes by, they turn their heads and they watch her till she's gone. [music] Lord have mercy, baby's got a blue jeans on. [music] Up by the bus stop and across the street, open up their windows to take a peek. How she goes walking, rocking like a rolling storm. Heaven help us, baby's got a blue jeans on. She can't help it if she's made that way. She's not to blame if they look her way. She ain't really trying to cause the same. It just comes naturally. Now the girl can't help it. Well, a full main street by the Texas stand. There's a crowd of people and a traffic jam. She don't look bad. She ain't doing nothing wrong. [music] Lord have mercy, baby's got a blue jeans on. [music] She can't help it if she's made that way. She's not to blame if they look her way. She ain't really trying to cause the same. It just comes naturally. Now the girl can't help it. Down on the call by the traffic lights. Everybody's looking as she goes by. [music] Lord have mercy, baby's got a blue jeans on. [music] Heaven help us, baby's got a blue jeans on. Can't expect it here, please. [music] All right, that last song was, "Baby's Got Her Blue Jeans On, Mel McDaniel's." It's a great song. Sweet curves. It's a cool contrast song. Sweet curves has got her blue jeans on. Well, I got my leopard grade jeans on. All right, so where were we with our topics here? We were talking about 10 days left. What would you do, babe? Man. Yeah. 10 days left. Well, you don't like you said, though. You said you would go to your family. But then what would you do? Would your whole family get together and go do something? Well... Like what would your expectations be? The entirety of my immediate family is in Texas. My brother, my sister, my niece and nephews, my mom and dad. So we would probably, my sister's house is usually the meeting point. So we'd probably just all hang out in my sister's house for 10 days. That's it. You wouldn't go do anything like... No, what others come to do? What's to do if it's the end? I want to spend as much time as I can with my family. Take some square dancing. Yes. Swing your partner, Dosey Doe. Elementor left. We can Dosey Doe in the living room. That's fine. They got a sound system. Dosey Doe in the living room. What would you do? You know what? I like that. I do like that. When you just listen to music for 10 days. I think that's... So wasn't the family part that caught you as the music for 10 days? Well, I'd have the family with me there as well. I'd be like, "Go sit over there. I'm going to sit and listen to the living room." Nobody talked. Nobody talked just sit over there. No. Cassie, what would you do? What would be one of the one besides going to the family? Yeah, no. I mean, the family is huge. What would you do together as a family? If that's what you want to spend in a family, what would be a fun thing to do? I don't have those crazy ideas. We're going to get the whole family and jump off some 200-foot cliff into the ocean. No, we're not. We're going to have some cocktails and we're going to talk. Actually, I am going to try to break the Guinness Book of World Records for hugs. Hugs? I'm the hugger. Is there a thing? What's the record? I don't know. But I want to know. But I think on Mondays, I strive for that every time. For sure. It's hypothetical. But if there's 10 days left, does the whole world know there's 10 days left? So everything's inundated. Like, you couldn't go do something if you wanted to. You know what I mean? That's interesting. We only got 10 days. Yeah. And if everybody in the world knows that there's only 10 left? You know? Well, that's just, didn't they? Well, then I feel like I was going to say, I was just about to say that. Yeah. Then we have a whole other situation because it's only 10 days. And people are just going to go crazy. Yeah. You got, like, at our bars on your doors and, like, military guards blocking your house. No. Why would anybody want to do anything bad like that if there were something? Because there's no consequence. There's no consequences. Yeah. So, well, Kirby was mentioning she might get her teardrop tattoo. Oh, you said face tattoos, so we go. I got a gun. I know a guy. I know a guy. I know a guy. So she's going, okay, you only get nine days. So you'd get a face tattoo and finally get that teardrop that she follows. Well, here's the thing. Supposedly, you got to do some dirty deeds to get that. And I wouldn't want to do that to anyone. No. But, I mean, I might do some things that, like, maybe you've always wanted to do or question doing, but, like, I got to live the rest of my life with that. Yeah. I would drink a glass of wine on the beach in San Diego, huh? Yeah. Lawbreaker. Lawbreaker. Break in the law. You know what I would do? I would wait for the last four seconds and I'd get up in an airplane and just jump out with no parachute. Just go fly through the sky. Yeah, there's only four seconds left. Yeah. Just fly. Just fly. And then it's over with, right? Boom. Yeah. Yeah. I'd probably try vodka and milk. She's like, "Everything's on the table." Oh, man. So you're telling me you'll never try vodka and milk unless it's the last couple of seconds. Yeah. Probably not. No. I'm talking day nine, hour twenty-three, fifty-nine minutes. Yeah. Oh, my God. Nah. Nah. That's a good one, so I try vodka. Oh, my God. Yeah. This girl's freaking hysterical. I love her. Eric, what are you doing with ten days? With ten days? I'd probably finally get my clothes off the floor. Yeah. I don't believe you. No, I might be. I don't believe you. Like, finally. Like, this is the last thing for you. Would you go on a final flight? Like, would you go on, like, one last? You know, I... Yeah, I probably would. I would fly. I mean, a small plane. I would take the last, you know, three hours or so. He'll fly me to see my family. And just fly west. No. No. Just fly west. And like, don't even worry. There's no gas left. It's whenever it's over, it's over. No, you're talking about, like, the last ten hours then. Yeah. What would I do before that? Ten days. Ten days? Um... Good Lord. I would re-enact Sundance and, you know, was it... Braveheart? Fudge Cassidy. Fudge Cassidy. I'd like to. Yeah. I'd just get on a horse and go around Robin Banks. Yeah. I mean, again, there's no consequence. Ten days. But I wouldn't hurt nobody. And I'd walk out the front door and then walk back and go, I'd just kick things. I'd give a back. You know, please. What do I do with the money? I got a ten day. I don't need it. You don't need it. But I just wanted to rob somebody. Yeah. Okay. I'm just kidding. Here you go. If you pull out your gun, I'm just kidding. I'm just kidding. I'm just kidding. I'm just kidding. I'm just kidding. I'm just kidding. Just let me have an experience. Just let me live this out, okay? Yeah. I would actually slip her a note. Act scared for a moment. It's fine, though. You're actually safe. You're fine. Yeah. Hey, calls ahead and makes a reservation with the tellers. There's only four days left. Don't worry. Just be a man, you know, La Mesa, can I come rob you today, please? It would be fun. Well, we said this fantasy of robbing a bank. Yeah. We got four days left. Why not? Curvy and I are going to go and drink with our families. And this one's robbing banks. You know what I would like to do one time before the end? And this is going to sound really freaking weird because I've never done this. And it's a very common thing, actually. I've never surfed. And I don't know why. I've lived in San Diego. Well, I shouldn't say my whole family. My dad and both my older brothers surf, and they're pretty good. My middle brother was semi-professional surfer for a little while. Never been. Never tried. Yeah. Never tried. You know what I think you're right. I spent my last 10 days trying to do all that. Trying to do things that I've never done. Shit that really never appealed to me, but everybody seems to like it. So let me find out what I'm missing. You know what I mean? Go surf. Skydiving. You know, I haven't actually flown a plane before. My friend had a Piper Cub, but he's like, "Hey, you want to fly?" I was like, "What do you mean?" He's like, "Just grab the stick because there's the front and back." Right. Right, yeah. He's like, "Grab the stick." And I'm like, "What do you..." So there's like two pedals. Yep. And then there's the stick. And he's like, "All right. So what you want to do is look left or right, whatever, and just try to keep the wing in the horizon. Right, right. Keep it level. So it doesn't go up or it doesn't go down. I was like, "Okay, I got this. I'm like, sweet." So I'm flying the airplane. And he's like, "Try to make a turn." I'm like, "Dude, I don't know. What do I..." Like, "Wait, how far do I push this stick?" So I kind of lean a little bit and it's like, "Rrrr." I'm like, "How do I do a barrel roll?" And he's like, "Don't do a fucking barrel rollness because this is a Piper Cub and you'll fall out." You don't have near enough days, my friend. No, I mean, dude, it was crazy. The window was open. Like, there was windows open on the airplane and we're just, I'm just like video editing. Free flying, man. Yeah, man, that was a great time. That was a good time. I actually did get that flying a little bit. I'm going to take you guys to go flying with me. I'll go flying with you, but I'm being in control coming from the girl that didn't get a driver's license till 29 seems terrifying. I'd be like, "Nope, I'm good. You're the pilot for a reason?" I'd be like, "Nope, sweet girl." Yeah, you're going to say that now. Grab that stick and either turn it left or right. Are we talking about an airplane, still? A little airplane. Oh, wait, what are we talking about? [laughter] Come on, sweet curves, your mom listens to the shit. But off, Bob. You and Wendy are. I would say you're a stick. But as you said, just grab the stick. You and Wendy are on schedule to go do a little lunch in Catalina. When? We got to figure out a day that someone lets me know so I can actually market it in my book. Because details, right? Yeah, I'll take you guys flying with me. It's going to be fine. All right, nerd. Nerd. Nerd. Nerd. All right, here's your friend. Yeah, let's do a couple of songs. So I'm going to play a song by Albert Gary Lewis. Okay. He's a musician up in Julian. Oh. Actually, so I really dig it. Oh, I know you're talking about me. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Julian Albert. Yeah, let's play with him. We'll do that. [music] [music] [music] [music] [music] [music] [music] [music] [music] [music] [music] [music] [music] [music] [music] [music] [music] [music] [music] [music] [music] [music] [music] [music] [music] [music] [music] [music] [music] [music] [music] [music] [music] [music] [music] [music] [music] [music] [music] [music] [music] [music] [music] [music] [music] [music] [music] [music] [music] [music] [music] [music] [music] [music] [music] [music] [music] [music] [music] [music] [music] [music] [music] [music] [music] [music] [music] [music] [music] [music] [music] [music] [music] [music] [music] [music] [music] [music] [music] [music] [music] [music] [music] [music] [music] [music] [music] [music] [music] [music] [music] [music] [music] [music] [music] [music] [music] [music] [music] [music] [music] [music] [music] [music] [music] [music] [music] [music] [music] [music] [music] [music] [music] [music] [music] [music] [music] [music] [music] [music] [music] [music] [music] [music] [music] [music] [music] [music] [music] [music] [music] [music] [music] [music] [music] [music] [music] [music] [music] [music] [music] [music] [music] [music] [music] [music] [music] [music] [music] [music] [music] [music] [music] [music] [music] [music] [music] [music] [music] [music] [music] [music] [music] [music] [music] [music] [music] [music] [music] [music] [music] [music] [music] [music] ♪ Somewhere ♪ (clapping) - All right, great job. - Sorry, I fucked it up sweet curves. (laughing) - That's right. - That's all right. - Sounds good. - You live. - You know what? This is how you know it's a truly live performance. - Yeah, it is. - It's a live show, yo, all right. (laughing) - It's fantastic. - We have no scripts. - Unless we edit it and make it perfect, but we won't do that. - We won't do that. - We don't ever do that. - Nobody wants perfect. - No, it's perfect. - In the words of my good friend, Bill O'Reilly, we'll do it live. (laughing) We'll do it live. - I got no glass to cheer. Ice left in my glass to-- - Oh, you need ice? - I think we're-- - Yeah, I need ice too, and I need more whiskey. This is-- - I'm for a cheers, for a saloon. - Mm-hmm. - Saloon. - Saloon, bro. - But I can't do that yet. Hold on. - We need a little clink, clink, clink. - I need some ice cycles. - I can clink, getting. - Ice, icles. - All right, where's my whiskey at? Where's the whiskey? - All right. - Hold on, hold on, hold on. - Definitely gotta get the whiskey. - Bam. - Voila. Okay, now you're clink, clink, clink. - Clink, clink. Everybody drink. (laughing) - Clink, clink, everybody drink. - Clink, clink, everybody drink. - Clink, clink, clink, clink, clink, clink. Whoo. - All right, you were gonna ask me something. - Okay, all right. - Nerd, what? (laughing) - And I call you nerd because I'm a nerd too. - Mad scientist, I think it's the appropriate. - I like the mad scientist. Okay, it is, here's scenario. - Okay. - I'm ready. - All right, and this is really more of a, go forth kind of thing, but you guys feel free, sweet curbs and Cassie, feel free to chime in on something that you might wanna bring to the table also. All right, so, the year is 1509, okay? The year 1509. - Very techy here. - Great fashion back then. - Right, 1509, right? - And you're not even in the United States, you're in like Europe, London, somewhere over in their area. Okay, somebody drops you off right now, in the mind and everything that you know in your life, right now, the things that you know how to do in your life, you know all the history, but you just got shipped back into 1509, dropped in the middle of the city or whatever. Okay, you're 20, let's say 20 years old, right? What would you do and what would you invent? - So you guys get to pick something that we know is modern day people? - Yes, you know everything you know today. - Oh, got it, so you don't have to choose what you're gonna invent that you know of. - What would you invent? - I got it. - Okay, what would you invent, sweet curbs? - Plumbing, I'd be like you don't have to pee in the street. - Okay. - No more throwing your crap out the window. - You know how plumbing works? Like what would you, sweet curbs, plumbing's been around a long time, they've had-- - But 1509? - No, 1509, they were peeing and putting in the street and they had pots. - In rivers and poop pots. - That's why the water was so contaminated. - There was irrigation, like you know, you think back to the ancient Romans, so it was irrigation. - Okay, hold on, everybody slow down. - Thawkward afternoon. - That's true, there was plumbing, there was, but generally speaking in the major cities, they all pooped in their pots and they threw 'em out the window. - Chamber pots were a thing for-- - Chamber pots, yes, going back to the Romans, they had basic irrigation. - You didn't tell me after no how it works, you just said what would I invent? In my mind, I would know how it works and I could invent it. - But you'd have to like make it, like you'd have to-- - You'd have to go show 'em. - You'd have to show 'em, like what would you, I mean who, but who would you even show? You'd have to create it and invent it yourself. - I bring like a blueprint from somewhere. - Sorcery. - You draw it out. - Sorcery. - You'd say draw it out and be like, "This is what needs to be done." Okay, I got you. Eric. - Or even she's a witch. - What she's got to do is put a pop on the bottom of a bowl that goes downhill. - Yeah, or don't throw it out of their window, like collected in one area maybe. - It kind of can be that simple, right? From your chamber pot to the chamber pot outside. Hold on, I stole it from Eric though. What would you, what would you do? You got dropped off. - What would I do? - What would you invent? - What would I invent? I, honestly, I would not invent the damn thing. I would find every, all the inventors I know about and I would back 'em up 100%. I'd invest in them like crazy. - All right. - Let's go come and get you a business man. That's a great idea. - I'd like to give you one, yeah. Like what would be like a-- - Oh, you're talking 1509. - So we're talking, that's even that's a little before Marconi even, but I mean, we're talking like pre-rail road. I mean, all that kind of stuff, back in the 1500s. Well, I would probably invest in the witch trials that was very profitable. (laughing) - Power, power of any sort. Power to propel, right? - Like you asked people this and they were like, "Oh, I'd invent a cell phone." - Yeah, I mean, you're talking about the Renaissance. - No, you wouldn't. - No, you wouldn't. - No, you wouldn't. - No, you wouldn't. - No, you can't. - You don't have to build a cell phone. - Those materials don't exist. - I mean, yeah, right. - You gotta talk Renaissance times, right? - Yeah, you gotta go back. - So maybe like a pocket watch. - You know what I would really do? - First, what I would really do? - What I would really honestly do if I will go tomorrow. - The first, last, toilet, 1596. You're only 100 years off. - So you can make a toilet. - She would be the first person to make the flush toilet. - I totally understand how a toilet works. - 15 hundred, it came 100 years later in 1596. - To answer your question, I would reach my pocket, pull out my big lighter, flick it, and everybody would worship me. And that's what I would do. - There's a store on your cell phone. - Yeah, people would literally just-- - But do you know how to make a lighter? - Oh yeah. - You know how to make a plastic. - Yeah, that I could do it. - Like do you gotta get the plastic? - Well, plastic wouldn't be invented yet. - Exactly, you guys, so you gotta end up plastic first. - But no, no, you don't have that plastic. You just have to get flint, right? - Like a zipper. - Metal, flint, right? Some sort of flammable liquid, which they had, you know, tar, anything like that. - Put it in a small little container. - Pinsaf, or-- - Yeah, put it in an acorn. - I would make an acorn lighter. - A flint, you gotta get a flint, and that's natural. - Even matches, right? - You know what I was thinking. - Until 1680, so you are ahead of the curve there, without being too scary, but a lighter might be witchcraft. - You'd be the king in no time. - Yes, you know what I would invent? - A square dancer. - A pencil, a pencil, a pencil. I would build and make a pencil. - Oh yeah, you put quills out way ahead of time. - Right? - Like a pencil, that's easy. I know how to make a pencil prior to that. - That wouldn't be that hard, really. - That'd be easy. - This was charcoal. - That'd be the easiest thing ever. I would make a pencil. - Didn't the caveman have something like a pencil? - Well, yeah, it was just charcoal. - It was charcoal, but like a pencil that you could actually-- - But you could have charcoal inside a trick. - And cut the wood and make it so that you can write. If you think about it, like, they dipped frickin' feathers in an ink tank. - A quill. - Quill, in an ink, and they would write with that. - How cool would have been in 1509 to have a pencil? - Did they not? - I don't think they did. - Listen, you can make a battery out of two potatoes and lemonade. - I know that. - You know what I'm sayin'? - You make a battery. - I would make a battery. - Oh, so, lemon's back to the other subject. - Oh yeah, I could do it like that. - Put your item. - With glass, you can just make a lady and get picked up. - I gotta figure out what tungsten. I gotta figure out what the nearest tungsten mine is, but-- - Where do you find tungsten? Nobody even knows what that is. Like, where would you find that at the time? - I know what, I've heard of tungsten rings like the scratch proof. - Yeah, that's what I have. I have a tungsten carbide ring. - Yeah. - Well, there you go. So that's what I would do. I would invent a battery. - A battery, okay. - You know what they have? - Electricity? - Actually, I would-- - Nobody knows what the battery's for. - That's true. They believe they had batteries all the way back in the ancient times. - Yes, or gold plating. - Yes. - Yeah. - But, I would harness electricity to 300 years early. - Make like a, yeah. - Yeah, I know how to make it. - That's easy, right? - You eat copper and you eat it. - Magnet and cinnamon. - And you rotate it and you get it. - Right, super simple. - Turn it into, yeah. - I'd say sorcery again. - I would invent radio beforehand. - They might burn you at the state for so many years. - The cultural, the cultural Renaissance awareness has to come along with that. Or yes, you're being burned at the state here, which-- - Goody Proctor saw Eric spinning. - Did I-- - And it's spinning rocks on the forest. - I'm the first-- - This man holds fire in his hand. - A sword. - Nah, nah. - Barn up! - No, I would have been able to communicate remotely to the Pope and the Pope would say he's fine. Leave him alone. - Wasn't it? Wasn't it super power? - Wasn't it in Tesla that, or is somebody that-- - Oh, Tesla, yeah. - And then in one of those remote control boats that he convinced all the people that he was able to control that boat with his mind. - His mind, yeah. - But it was remote control. - We used to tell our children that when we had like cruise control insurance. - Yeah, we talked about that. - Or the Rubik's Cube. I would be ahead of the game on the Rubik's Cube. - Oh, I could, yeah. - Travis is getting a Rubik's Cube. - I can solve it. - See, that would be a good one. - I would be bucks. - Big bucks? - Yeah. - Dude. - All the gestures would be out. - We just have our first three. - All right, ladies and gentlemen, this is 1509, no coming at you. (laughing) - You got the little midget playing the loot, he'd be out. (laughing) - No loot, no gestures. - No dancing. - He'd be the one with the good drugs for your music. - Bigger's belly dancing. - Ain't got nothing on my beatbox. - No, I would show my nice, my over the top 19 A's break dance moves. You know? It would be huge. It'd be huge. - You didn't do the word. - I'd be the hit of early America. - This one? - Yeah. - Oh, the lawnmower? - The sprinkler. - The sprinkler. - I'd show him the answer. - I'd show him the answer. - It'd be like, what is this nonsense? (laughing) - He's possessed. - All right, we're running out of time, friends. We're gonna play a song, and then we're gonna come back. - We're gonna discuss over the song. We're gonna listen to a song. - Someone's got us. - We're gonna come back and break it all down. - All right, I'm gonna break it up. What are we listening to? Tracy Lawrence, I like Tracy Lawrence. - Yeah, Tracy Lawrence. All right. (upbeat music) ♪ Sister cries out from her baby bed ♪ ♪ Brother runs in, feathers on his head ♪ ♪ Baba's at her room, learning how to sew ♪ ♪ That is drinking beer and listening to the radio ♪ ♪ I ain't William Sings, Elijah and their John ♪ ♪ Time marches on, time marches on ♪ ♪ Sister's using ruse and clear complexion soap ♪ ♪ Brother's wearing beads and he smokes a lot of dope ♪ ♪ Baba is depressed, barely makes a sound ♪ ♪ Daddy's got a girlfriend in another town ♪ ♪ Bob Dylan sings like a rolling stone ♪ ♪ Time marches on, time marches on ♪ ♪ The south moves north, north and south ♪ ♪ A star is born, a star burns out ♪ ♪ The only thing that stays the same is ♪ ♪ Everything changes, everything changes ♪ ♪ Sister calls herself a sexy grandma ♪ ♪ Brother's on a diet, I could list her own ♪ ♪ Mama's out of touch with reality ♪ ♪ Daddy's in the ground beneath the maple tree ♪ ♪ As the angels sing at old Hank William's song ♪ ♪ Time marches on, time marches on ♪ ♪ Time marches on, time marches on ♪ ♪ Time marches on, time marches on ♪ ♪ Time marches on ♪ (upbeat music) (upbeat music) (upbeat music) (upbeat music) ♪ There's an Elvis movie on the marquee sign ♪ ♪ And we've all seen at least three times ♪ ♪ Everybody's broke, Bobby's got a buck ♪ ♪ Put a dollar's worth of gas and just pick up trucks ♪ ♪ We're going 90 miles an hour down a dead end road ♪ ♪ What's a hurry, son, where you gonna go ♪ ♪ We're gonna, I'll have to move ♪ ♪ Shoot out the light, it's a small town Saturday night ♪ ♪ It's a small town Saturday night ♪ (upbeat music) ♪ Lucy's got a lipstick on a little too bright ♪ ♪ Bobby's getting drunk and looking for a fight ♪ ♪ Lick around his breath, the trouble on his mind ♪ ♪ Lucy's just a kid along for the ride ♪ ♪ We got a six pack of beer and a bottle of wine ♪ ♪ Got to be bad just to have a good time ♪ ♪ They're gonna, I'll have to move ♪ ♪ Shoot out the light, it's a small town Saturday night ♪ ♪ It's a small town Saturday night ♪ (upbeat music) ♪ Bobby told Lucy the world ain't round ♪ ♪ He drops off sharp at the edge of town ♪ ♪ Lucy you know the world must be flat ♪ ♪ 'Cause when people eat town they never come back ♪ ♪ Big old nine and miles are now too silly to leave ♪ ♪ It's time for the pedal to the nettle ♪ ♪ They change their mind, hey I'll have to move ♪ ♪ Shoot out the light, it's a small town Saturday night ♪ ♪ I'll have to move, shoot out the light ♪ ♪ It's a small town Saturday night ♪ ♪ It's a small town Saturday night ♪ ♪ It's a small town Saturday night ♪ (upbeat music) (upbeat music) (upbeat music) ♪ Saturday night and the moon is out ♪ ♪ I'm gonna head on close to the twist and shout ♪ ♪ I'm trying to step hard to rent a cage and beat ♪ ♪ When it dips me up I'm gonna find my feet ♪ ♪ Out in the middle of a big dance floor ♪ ♪ Now give that little one a back to mode ♪ ♪ Wanna dance to a band from Ellusia tonight ♪ ♪ And I'll never have a wonder down the New Orleans ♪ ♪ Never have truth to identify you stream ♪ ♪ But I heard that music on the radio ♪ ♪ Then I swore someday I was gonna go ♪ ♪ Down a highway tank has a lot of yeses ♪ ♪ They're back on rouge and I won't forget ♪ ♪ To send you a card with my regrets ♪ ♪ 'Cause I'm never gonna come back home ♪ ♪ I heard that night and the moon decided ♪ ♪ I wanna head on over to the twist and shout ♪ ♪ I'm trying to step hard to rent a cage and beat ♪ ♪ When it lifts me up I'm gonna find my feet ♪ ♪ Out in the middle of a big dance floor ♪ ♪ And I hear that little one a back to mode ♪ ♪ Wanna dance to a band from Ellusia tonight ♪ ♪ Hey ♪ (upbeat music) ♪ They got a alligator stew and a crawfish pie ♪ ♪ A golf storm blowing into town tonight ♪ ♪ Livin' on the dump that's quite sure ♪ ♪ They got hurricane parties every time I close ♪ ♪ But here I thought that's a cold cold rain ♪ ♪ And there ain't no cure for my blues today ♪ ♪ Except when the paper says both and lays ♪ ♪ I'm coming into town maybe let's go down ♪ ♪ It's Saturday night and the moon is out ♪ ♪ I wanna head on over to the twist and shout ♪ ♪ Why'd I just step hard to rent a cage and beat ♪ ♪ And when it lifts me up I'm gonna find my feet ♪ ♪ Out in the middle of a big dance floor ♪ ♪ And I hear that little one a back to mode ♪ ♪ Wanna dance to a band from Ellusia tonight ♪ (upbeat music) ♪ Bring your mama, bring your papa, bring your sister to ♪ ♪ They got lots of music and lots of room ♪ ♪ They play you a vaults from a 1910s ♪ ♪ You're gonna feel a little bit young again ♪ ♪ When you learn to dance with your rock and roll ♪ ♪ You learn to sweat, let go, say go ♪ ♪ But you learn to flop, let the fados go ♪ ♪ When you hear a little showin' to flop ♪ ♪ Saturday night and the moon is out ♪ ♪ I wanna head on over to the twist and shout ♪ ♪ Why'd I just step hard to rent a cage and beat ♪ ♪ When it lifts me up I'm gonna find my feet ♪ ♪ Out in the middle of a big dance floor ♪ ♪ And I hear that little one a back to mode ♪ ♪ I wanna dance to a band from a Lucy Anne tonight ♪ ♪ Hey, yeah ♪ (upbeat music) (upbeat music) - That last song was Mary Chapin Carpenter, "Twist and Shout." - Oh, "Twist that time again." - Okay. It's that time. - 'Kay. - Bop, bop, chicken, bop, bop. (laughing) - Not that time travel. - Bro, different time travel. - 'Cause I'm ready to lose, not win. - I need some ice. - Whiskey. Man. - All right. - I can't believe this. We've almost gone through this whole entire model of "Gentlemen Jet." - That was a week here though. - It was just tonight, folks. - Yeah, not just tonight. - Well, it was a handle. - It was a lot. - That's probably about four episodes worth of "Tech Daniels" right there. - With guests. - With guests, too. (laughing) - There will be a refill. - Sweet curbs, you go to your knee to another refill, you look a little empty there, and we'll dry. - All right, small changes to the game. - All right, what are we doing now? - Casa's gonna break it down for us. - New updates. - Okay. - New updates. Because as we've listened back over the episodes, we're like, we could do a little better. All these ties where y'all chime in around the same time we can't figure out who really came in first. So, name is your buzzer. - So, you know the song that's on your face. - So, when you're gonna answer her. - I would say Kirby. - You have to say your name first. That is how you buzz in. - Oh, God. - That gives you the opportunity to answer if you don't know it, or if you get it wrong, it goes to the other person. - All right. - Okay, then that five second timer starts first. - All right, but we're real quick. What if it's a Travis Trit song? And I say Travis, Trit. - Now. - How? - Nope, you're done. - Are there any Kirby songs? - You have to say Travis, Travis Trit. - Also, if you buzz in, if Travis or I say our name. - You got the gist, right? - In five seconds go by and we can't name the name or artist, obviously that's a pass as well. - Then it goes, so that's what starts the timer. Okay, also this week because of our shipping issues that we've had with tattoo stuff. So, this week is bragging rights only. - In other words, we're gonna start piling. - Okay, so there's no. - We might make Travis sing in the studio again, but bragging rights only. - Yeah. - That might not be so much of that. - I have to sing another song. - Possibly. If you win, maybe I'll sing a song. Maybe if you win, I'll sing heartache with you. - What? - Oh, I'm done. I've done. - I gotta sing. - You gotta sing a song. - The Tal's been thrown down. - If you win. - If I win. - Yeah. - All right. - Okay, well that can be her punishment scene. - There we go. I like it. - Trust me, it won't just be a punishment for me. It'll be punishment for all your listening ears. So. - All right, last new change because we've kind of varied in the number of songs that we're doing based on timing and everything. No, we're doing 10 songs. - 10 songs. - 10 songs. - That's the total. - That's when we determine the winner. - Cassie's are a trusty song and scorekeeper. - So there's still two points per song. You get the artists over the-- - Yeah. - That's on one. - Two points. - That's all the same. - So we're gonna get our friends Wendy and Mark to come in here with you in a little referee shirts. I want them in the pinstripe shirts. - Oh, I love that guy. - Yeah. - Yeah. - When they come over and whack. - He's coming back in the country. - He's coming back in the country. - We'll get him a whistle. - He can have a whistle. - Yeah, we'll make him stand right behind you guys and like just like if you screw up, wanna be a whack on the side of the head, it'll be fun. - Oh, I like that. - Yeah. - The illegal procedure on the offense. - Yeah, illegal procedure. - Now you're gonna do it in European exit on the offense. - Yeah. - You can throw like with the balls at you everybody? - No, we'll give them each a pool noodle. - Yeah. - Whack. Whack. - They can whack you. All right, let's get to work. - Okay, let's do this. - We've got things to do. - Let's go. - We've got things to do. Ready? - Yes. - All right, here we go. - Travis. (upbeat music) The Jets. - You got five seconds, do you know the name song? - Why not me? - There you go, there you go. Hey, I think we might have this down. - No, it is, to nothing, Travis, with our first song. - Here we go. Next one, you ready? (upbeat music) - Hmm. - No guesses? - I'm gonna say right now, I don't know. - You, Travis. (bell dings) - Oh, sorry, go ahead. - Dolly Barton. (buzzer dings) - No, never mind. - No. - All right. - Do you think I would know if that was Dolly? - I know. - I'm gonna say, I can't believe this. - Who will sing with me? - That's why I didn't hear you. - Okay, we are still two songs in, so we're not adding another song here. - No, just 10 total. - 'Cause he didn't get it. - Okay. - All right, here we go. (audience applauds) (upbeat music) - Travis. - Go ahead. - Go ahead. (buzzer dings) (buzzer dings) - Kirby. - Go ahead. - Barbara Mandrel, cut train when country wasn't cool. - Oh, oh, nice. - Ladies and gentlemen, we are tied at two two. (upbeat music) - Wait, I have a question, though, with the new rules. If he misses it, do I still have to say Kirby, or can I just-- - Nah, no, he doesn't have pretty much a video. - If he misses it, it moves too. - You get five seconds. - All right. (upbeat music) - I almost got over here, this song, obviously. - It's a great song. - All right, here we go, ready? - Yeah. (upbeat music) - Travis. - Go ahead. - Randy Travis. (bell dings) - Forever, never a man. (bell dings) - There you go. (upbeat music) - All right. - See, I said I want Travis. - Randy Travis. (laughing) - It wasn't Travis, no, it wasn't. - It happened. - All right, ready for the next one? - All right. - Let's go. (upbeat music) - Lone Star. Kirby. - Grr. - Oh, it goes to Travis. - Five? - Yep, Travis, you get a shot. Five seconds. - Lone Star. (bell dings) (laughing) - Starts over again. Anybody. - Travis. - Travis. - Kenny Roger. - Good, you know the name of the song? - You've got tonight. Or we've got tonight. - There you go, good job. - That's good. I thought it was. - Good job. - What's that song you don't like, Eric? The Lone Star song? - Oh, amazing. - That's what I thought it was. - It's that wedding song. - Amazing. - It's that piano, like. Okay, we are four songs in, it is two, six, Travis. (laughing) - All right, you guys ready for the next one? - Song number five, halfway there. (upbeat music) - No guesses? ♪ Don't tell me no stories ♪ ♪ I don't wanna handle life ♪ - All right, give you five more seconds. ♪ The reasons are excuses ♪ ♪ Don't tell me no stories ♪ - I know the song, but I don't know it. - Oh. - No, that's it, now it's later. - Martina McBride. Life number nine. - Oh, gosh, darn, I need that. - All right, here comes the next one. (upbeat music) - Travis. - Travis. - Randy Travis. (bell dings) - Five, you got five seconds. You want to go to the name of the song? ♪ Amazing grace ♪ ♪ I heard a nice song ♪ - And it ties us up. You got a guest Kirby? - No, I don't. Listen. ♪ When I heard you ♪ - Here it is. - Whisper my name. (laughing) - Oh yeah, you don't get it. - No, I don't, that's fine. - You don't get it, that's fine. (laughing) - Yeah, no, the voice doesn't go. - It actually does. You're within your five seconds, and he gave it to you at that point to him, so. - I did the five minutes. - It is 3-7 Travis. That was so number six. - She's watching the clock. All right, here we go. - Travis. - Go ahead. Travis, what you got? - Ray, Alan Jackson. (bell dings) - Good, got it. - Chasing this neon dream. (bell dings) - Oh, actually, I'm going to pull that back. I'm going to pull that back. You get strong, you got five seconds. - Neon rainbow. Chasing that neon rainbow. - There you go. - Oh, come on, she got it wrong too. (laughing) - Four to eight, Travis. That was so number seven. - She did get it wrong. She just didn't say the whole title. You got the whole title wrong. (laughing) - You said, what did you say, look at a rainbow? Do you want her or something? - I think you said you'd say. - Chasing that rainbow or whatever. - Chasing the neon something. - All right. - All right. - Here we go. - You're song number eight. - Travis. - Go ahead, Travis. - Who is it? - Travis Red. (bell dings) - Here's a quarter call, someone who cares. (buzzer buzzes) - Huh? (upbeat music) - All right. Nobody got it. You still get a chance, it, anybody? I'll give you five more seconds. - Whiskey. - Whiskey, working anymore. - Got it. (laughing) - No, we timed. - I said it completely before you did not. - Yes, I did. - All right. Her before Travis and I, that was song number eight. - All right. Here we go. (laughing) - All right. Here we go. (upbeat music) - Kirby. - Okay. - Faith Hill Wild One. (bell dings) - Wow. She got both. - Six to nine. - That was song number nine. - But there's only one more, so he won. - Well. Just for fun. You don't want to be a total loser. Look, we try to close up. - That's fair. - Here we go. - She goes, "This one's bragging rights anyway." - Oh, I'm skipping this one, 'cause you literally just said. - Shelly right, shut up and drive. - That's true. - But I'm skipping that one. - But you didn't say, "Name is your brother." - Do you know the reason I know this song? - Why? - 'Cause my mom told my little brother not to say shut up to people when he was a baby, 'cause there was a bad word. Every time this song, which I'm on to be like, "Mom." - Shut up. - It's a bad song. You gotta change it. Yeah. That's only reason. (laughing) - All right. Here we go. Here's the actual song, "10." I'm gonna override the "10" rule, 'cause I boogered up. - All right. - Kirby. - Go ahead. - Trisha Yearwood. She's in love with the boy. - There you go. - "8 to 9." That sucks. - 8 to 9. - Oh, by one point. You lost by one point. - One or three. - Sweet curves. - Bragg and rates. - I love you though. - No, I gotta sing with them. - Oh, did you actually put that on there? - Yeah. - Okay. - Right now? - No, we gotta go home and practice for the next episode. - No, I wanna do it right now. - No, we gotta do it right now. - I'm not doing it right now. - We're doing it right now. - We're doing it right now. - We're doing all the words. - I'm grabbing it. - All right, I'll try. Refill her whiskey. It's happening. ♪ Her boyfriend, Tommy ♪ ♪ Is laying on her walls ♪ - I gotta look up the words now. All right, let this play through while she gets ready. - All right, you guys get set up. We'll be back up if you have the song. And Kirby's gonna pay her punishment right now. ♪ I'm shorting by this dude ♪ ♪ The kid is young and makes you just don't care ♪ ♪ She'd follow Tommy anywhere ♪ ♪ She's in love with the boy ♪ ♪ She's in love with the boy ♪ ♪ She's in love with the boy ♪ ♪ And even if they have to run away ♪ ♪ She's gonna marry that boy someday ♪ ♪ Katie and Tommy are driving me ♪ ♪ Parking the very last road ♪ ♪ They're too busy holding on to one another ♪ ♪ To even care about the show ♪ ♪ Later on, I find the taste he frees ♪ ♪ Tommy slips something over here ♪ ♪ He says, "My husband won't have to do ♪ ♪ 'Til I can buy a wedding band ♪ ♪ Her dad has said he ain't worth a look ♪ ♪ When it comes to crazy, got the shorting of a stick ♪ ♪ When Katie's young and makes you just don't care ♪ ♪ She'd follow Tommy anywhere ♪ ♪ She's in love with the boy ♪ ♪ She's in love with the boy ♪ ♪ She's in love with the boy ♪ ♪ And even if they have to run away ♪ ♪ She's gonna marry that boy someday ♪ ♪ Her dad is waiting up till half past 12 ♪ ♪ When they come sneaking up the wall ♪ ♪ He says, "Unlaid, get on up to your room ♪ ♪ Call me and junior, have a talk ♪ ♪ Mama breaks in and says don't lose your temper ♪ ♪ Wasn't very long ago ♪ ♪ You yourself was just a H.C. plow boy ♪ ♪ Didn't have to go to home ♪ ♪ My dad has said you wasn't worth a look ♪ ♪ When it came to bring you got the shorting of a stick ♪ ♪ He was wrong and the honey you are too ♪ ♪ Came and said, "Tommy, I can still get you." ♪ ♪ She's in love with the boy ♪ ♪ She's in love with the boy ♪ ♪ She's in love with the boy ♪ ♪ Once meant to be, we'll always find a way ♪ ♪ She's in love with the boy ♪ ♪ She's in love with the boy ♪ ♪ She's in love with the boy ♪ ♪ What's meant to be, we'll always find a way ♪ ♪ She's gonna marry that boy so ♪ - Back, you lost, and now you gotta sing a song with me. - I said I would, I will do it. - All right, I've never even, I think I've done this song once in my life, but we can try to do it together. - You got your lyrics up there? - No, I don't need lyrics, we curves. - He's lying. - I know all the words, so I might screw 'em up every once in a while, especially on a live show. (laughing) All right, so this is Jamie Johnson's song. It's called, "Heartache." - Heartache. (gentle guitar music) (coughing) (gentle guitar music) ♪ I was born by fire in a cold dark cave ♪ ♪ In the age of a dinosaur ♪ ♪ When a caveman caught his cave woman ♪ ♪ Loving on a missing leg, living next door ♪ ♪ There was kind of screaming ♪ ♪ And wardrobe was beaten in a wave of violence ♪ ♪ But none of them folks survived but me ♪ ♪ I've been hanging around ever since ♪ ♪ I'm a hardy, never seen me coming ♪ ♪ I'd always take you by surprise ♪ ♪ I'm a hardy, hungry honey ♪ ♪ But someone I can't eat a lot ♪ ♪ By the time you know I'm on your body, it's too late ♪ ♪ I'm a hardy ♪ ♪ But I watched you taking off the night ♪ ♪ And I knew you were headed to ♪ ♪ I saw that sweet young thing ♪ ♪ You made it that dirty old motel room ♪ I'll say it. ♪ You know I'm gnawing on your pretty little wife ♪ ♪ Waiting up for you at home ♪ ♪ And you don't even know it yet ♪ ♪ But I'm just saving you for later ♪ ♪ I can get you all alone ♪ ♪ I'm a hardy, never seen me coming ♪ ♪ I'd always take you by surprise ♪ ♪ I'm a hardy, hungry honey ♪ ♪ But someone I can't eat a lot ♪ ♪ By the time you know I'm on your body, it's too late ♪ ♪ I'm a hardy ♪ (gentle guitar music) - To Anthony and Cleopatra. - Samson and Delilah. - Elvis and Priscilla. - Jackie and JFK. Charles and Diana. I'd say I've had some pretty good days. (gentle guitar music) - You might not even know it. We're about to have some real fun. It's not coming, it's not coming, it's not coming. ♪ I'm a hardy, never seen me coming ♪ ♪ I'd always take you by surprise ♪ ♪ I'm a hardy, hungry honey ♪ ♪ 'Cause I'm one I can't eat a lot ♪ ♪ By the time you know I'm on your body, it's too late ♪ ♪ I'm a hardy ♪ (gentle guitar music) - Thank you guys. Hope you have yourselves a great rest of your week. Happy Sunday, but also, have a great Monday and a good rest of your week. We're Travis Billy Ross, out of our country show. God bless you, good night. (upbeat music)