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The Unmistakable Creative Podcast

Life of Purpose: Emily Fletcher | How to Stress Less and Accomplish More

Join us for our Life of Purpose series this month as we revisit some of our most impactful episodes. Dive deep into expert insights and practical strategies on health, performance, and community, helping you achieve personal and professional fulfillment.


In this episode of Unmistakable Creative, we are joined by Emily Fletcher, the founder of Ziva Meditation and the leading expert in meditation for performance. Emily has taught meditation to over 40,000 people, helping them to stress less and accomplish more. Her best-selling book, "Stress Less, Accomplish More," debuted at #7 on Amazon and has been translated into 12 languages, making her a worldwide authority on the subject.


Emily's journey from Broadway performer to meditation teacher is both inspiring and relatable. She shares her personal experiences with stress and anxiety and how meditation became her number one tool for dealing with these challenges. Emily's approach to meditation is unique, combining mindfulness and manifestation with traditional meditation techniques. This combination, known as the Ziva technique, is designed to manage different kinds of stress and has proven to be effective for thousands of individuals.


In this enlightening conversation, Emily offers valuable insights into how to go from being full of need and seeking fulfillment, to being fulfilled and looking for need. She provides practical advice on how to incorporate the Ziva technique into your daily routine, regardless of how busy you are. Whether you're new to meditation or looking to deepen your practice, this episode is a must-listen. Discover how to stress less, accomplish more, and unlock your full potential with Emily Fletcher.

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Duration:
1h 2m
Broadcast on:
11 Jul 2024
Audio Format:
mp3

As you probably noticed this month, we're bringing you our "Life of Purpose" series and revisiting some of our most transformative episodes, tune in to explore expert insights and practical strategies on help, performance, and community well-being, all aimed at helping you achieve personal and professional fulfillment. If you sign up for the newsletter, you'll not only get recaps of the key ideas in each interview, but at the end of the series, you'll receive our free "Life of Purpose" ebook. What you have to do is go to unmistakablecreative.com/lifepurpose, again, that's unmistakable So I would call this, I think, it's the same concept of what I call the "I'll be happy when" in the syndrome, right? Like, I'll be happy when, like, the carrot keeps moving. I'll be happy when I get a bike, I get a car, I get a car, I get a girl, I get a job, I go on vacation, I have Wi-Fi, I get $1 million, I get $100 million, I get a jet. And by the time you have $100 million in a jet, you just miss the days that you could get high and go to the park and, you know, not have to manage your money all day, because then you've got to carry around suitcases of money if you're attached to it. So the carrot's always going to move, right? And actually, hilariously, two days after my book came out, and it was going so well, we, like, debuted at number seven out of all books on Amazon. My publisher was like, "Hey, let's start talking about book two." And I was like, "I want to punch you in the face." So certainly, I was, to some degree, in this "I'll be happy when" in syndrome, right? "I'll be happy when this book is launched, I'll be happy when we make the New York Times." And so the fact that I had that reaction to her when she said that with "Let's talk about book two" was a big flag to me of like, "Hey, you're working on sustainably." I'm Sreeny Rao, and this is the unmistakable creative podcast where you get a window into the stories and insights of the most innovative and creative minds who started movements, built driving businesses, written best-selling books, and created insanely interesting art. For more, check out our 500 episode archive at unmistakablecreative.com. Emily, welcome to the Unmistakable Creative. Thanks so much for taking the time to join us. What a joy to be here. I'm stoked to see what unfolds. Yeah, it is my pleasure to have you here. So I, you know, was introduced to you through way of our mutual friend, Clay Haber. I also met you in person, and I know that you have this new book out that is just absolutely crushing a chances are that everybody here has probably either already heard of it or picked it up. But before we get into all of that, I want to start asking, what is the very first job that you ever had, and what did you learn from that job that you've applied to your life going forward, and how did that shape who you've become and what you ended up doing? So my very first job, I was 15 years old, and I was a busboy. I don't think they have a term for a busgirl, but I was, you know, cleaning plates and glasses and tables at a restaurant, and it was where my sister had her bridal shower. And she's seven years older than I am. I was 15 years old attending the shower, but I was wearing a white suit. Nobody told me that it was rude to her white to someone else's bridal event. And the owner thought that I was the bride, and she's like, "Oh, are you getting married?" I said, "No." I'm 15, and she's like, "Do you want a job?" And I said, "Yes." And so I started busing tables, and then I ended up becoming the manager of the restaurant at like 16 years old, which is hilarious. But what did I learn from that job that I've applied to the rest of my life? I actually love working in a restaurant, and I always love being a waitress, because I was an actress for a long time. And to me, I love it because there's a calm before the storm. There's a team of people in the restaurant that's all working together to execute this experience. You get to meet new people, you get to put on a bit of a show for your table. And then at the end of the night, there's a calm after the storm. And to me, it's very similar to theater. But I think the thing that I brought with me was kindness, outgoingness, making friends with all of my tables, and then feeling like I was a part of a team. I think those are things that I knew that I liked very much. And I took that with me into my theatrical career and now into my team at Ziva. Yeah. What surprised you in that experience and what, if any, were lessons in human behavior that you took away from it, that most of us wouldn't have even thought of to observe that are going on in a dynamic like the restaurant? And obviously, you talked about the teamwork. I wonder what are the things that people who are interested on are not noticing? Well, if I extend it past beyond that first job, it was my first job in New York City. I was, again, a waitress and I moved to New York about three weeks before September 11th. And the day after September 11th, all of New York, it was kind of like a, this is going to sound like a bad word, but vacation, because no one was going to work. So half the people wanted to just be home and by themselves, but a lot of people wanted to be out and among other people, so our restaurant was packed. But not all of our staff could get in, you know, because of transportation and they lived far away. And so it was my second day, like, by myself, having been trained and I had half the restaurant to myself. And I did the lunch shift. I was when way over my head, I was overwhelmed, I was freaking out. And then in between lunch shifts and dinner shifts, there was a break and the manager came back and said, Hey, Emily, can you work the dinner shift? And I wasn't supposed to. He said, you know, someone can't make it. And I remember I started crying, like a single tear rolled down my cheek. And I said, yeah, I'll do it. And to me, the lesson there was, you know, I was scared, I was overwhelmed. I didn't know how I was going to do it. I felt like I was doing a bad job, but I knew that they needed me and I knew that I was able to bring some joy, bring some human connection to the people I was working with. And so I just said, yes, and it ended up being strangely a beautifully healing day in that restaurant. And with all those humans having just experienced something so intensely traumatic to create a space, even if a tiny little drop in the bucket of healing. So when you witness something like September 11th, that effectively what is the beginning of your adult life, I wonder what kinds of decisions you made about how you would live your life going forward, having been so close to something so traumatic and tragic. Well, interestingly, I felt safer in New York City than I feel like I would have been anywhere else. Because I thought, well, it's not going to happen again here right now, you know. So I actually never felt scared. I never felt like it was going to happen to me or that I was in danger in any way. I remember how beautiful it was, you know, the sun was shining and its blue skies and the birds were chirping and the kids were out of schools, it was kid playing. And I walked from my restaurant where I worked was on like third Avenue and 37th Street. And then I remember I walked up to 96th Street and West End Avenue, so it's like basically almost the length of the whole, well, not the whole, the long way. And I remember I don't know if this is a choice or if it was just my nature. But I was like, I'm not scared. I'm not going to choose to live my life in here. I don't feel like my life is being threatened right now. And I actually felt grateful to be in the epicenter where like everyone or the world's attention was being focused. I felt grateful to be a part of it and to be a part of the healing and the rebuilding. And I was young, you know, I was like 22 or something and I was an aspiring actress. And so it wasn't even yet on this sort of spiritual path. I didn't yet have a meditation practice, but I just felt safe and I feel grateful. And then hilariously, maybe not so hilariously, but I moved to Moscow and I did the world's first American musical to go to Russia. And then six weeks after we were there, there was a terrorist attack on a theater there on a musical. And so my poor mother, I mean, God bless her. She's like, you know, I just moved to New York and then 9/11 happens. I moved to Moscow. This terrorist attack happens on a theater there. And so I could tell how everyone around me was very scared, but something in me just knew that I was safe and knew that I had big work to do on the planet. So I don't know if I'm answering your question, but that's I know you are. How old were you when you realized you wanted to be an actress? I was in fourth grade, I was sitting on the floor of my mom's bathroom reading the newspaper. She was in the shower and I saw an ad for a place called Young Actors Theater. And I pointed to the ad and I was like, oh, mom, I'm going to need to go here, I'm going to be an actress. And she was like, okay. And she put me into class. And so I started when I was in fourth grade and thank goodness for this place. I'm Tony Hale is from there, Cheryl Hines, like all these amazing actors came out of this tiny little theater in this tiny little town. And I got to do a voice and dance and acting classes every day after school and we did like four or five shows a year. And again, that sense of teamwork and that sense of creativity. And I just I loved it so much. And then I had a great program in my high school, like I went to a public high school in Tallahassee, Florida, but our teachers were incredible. And we put on this big musical every year. And it was when I got into high school that I was like, oh, I'm definitely doing this. Like I'm going to go get maybe a fan musical theater and and then yeah, I was just this knowing this. It wasn't even like, oh, I wish or I hope or what if it was just like, oh, I'm going to be an actress. I'm going to move to New York. I'm going to be on Broadway. It's very decisive. What was the conversation that you had with your mother about this reason I'm asking this is that you know, I recently wrote an article about how to talk to your kids about pursuing a career in the arts because my sister and I were listening to this podcast called off camera with Sam Jones and he was interviewing Josh Radner. For those of you who don't know, Josh Radner is the guy from how I met your mother, Ted. And it was interesting to hear him talk about this because he had this conversation with his parents, particularly when you have parents like, you know, mine and his, you know, my dad's a professor, his, you know, dad was a lawyer. And to tell your parents that you want to pursue a career in the arts is never an easy thing. So I wonder what your mom encouraged, what she discouraged in that and how she talked you about what you were getting yourself into. Well, very much to her credit, she just said, yes, she's always said, yes. She wasn't a stage mom. She is on what she wanted for me necessarily, but she never put any fear or any doubt or any. There was no like reality check. It was just like, yes, yes, yes. I think she trusted me implicitly and always believed in me and never second guessed me. And so I never second guessed myself. And I just want to gift, you know, even you asking that question makes me realize what a gift it was that I had her and my father, which, you know, he was challenging in a lot of ways, but he was building the sets at my high school and making it rain on stage for singing in the rain. And so they always, it felt like implicit support always, yeah. When you use SAP Concur Solutions to automate your business finances, you'll be ready for anything except the new office dog running off with your lunch. With SAP Concur, you can be ready for almost anything. Take control of your business finances today at concur.com. 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You can see the savings for yourself because Whole Foods Market has great, everyday prices on customer favorites like responsibly-farmed salmon, no antibiotics, every chicken breasts, organic strawberries, organic blueberries, and more. And you don't have to sacrifice quality to save. There are so many ways to save at Whole Foods Market, and now you know. Well, I mean, you've spent time in this field. If you were, you know, a lot of parents are listening to this. What would you say to them based on this experience? I think that it's scary for your kids to go into something that feels so uncertain. And I think that there's a reality, there's like a financial reality to the world where you don't want to go into something that's so, so much supply and so little demand. And I get all those very valid concerns, but just like with manifesting, if someone has a real desire and it's a real desire, their happiness does not lie on the other side of the acquisition of the desire. But if the desire is there, I think we have to trust that nature put it there. And so whatever unfolds on the way of them doing that is what's meant. And so, you know, I did Broadway for 10 years, and that's not where I stayed. You know, I quote, unquote, like I'm a failure as an actress because I'm not doing it anymore, but it wasn't a failure. Like it was a great career. I loved it. And it gave me so many skills that I now apply to being an entrepreneur and a speaker and an author. And so I think that it's their human skills. And I think any creative endeavor is going to develop someone's humanness in a way that oftentimes traditional professional paths do not. And so I think that that is valuable in a way that we can't necessarily quantify it in the short term. Wow. So speaking of things that you learned from your time on Broadway that have applied, I mean, I, to this day, credit, you know, life as a musician for the discipline that I have as a writer, because I learned how to practice and I learned how to get better as something that I had no natural aptitude for. And so I wonder for you, what are the things that you have brought from that, you know, what happens in terms of discipline, habits, ritual, routine, when you are somebody who is a Broadway actress? Hmm. So many, so many, but the top, top ones would be that I'm very much putting on a show. Like when I teach meditation, or if I give a talk, I make no qualms about it. Like it's a 10 hour one woman show, I try to make it as entertaining as possible and as interactive as possible. And there's so much improv because it's based on the questions of the people and the room, but so that, that level of mental and physical preparation, I feel like that has really helped me. I will, I will warm up my voice, I will do breath work, I will, if I get nervous, I'll do guided visualizations that I used to do before I was a performer, even if I'm giving a talk that I've given a hundred times before, I just, it's almost in me that I have to prime my brain and body to be the best that it can be. You know, if there's three people in the room, or it doesn't matter, it's like, you always want to show up as the most amazing version of you, but really, to do that, you have to be a vessel. And I think that actually one of my shortcomings as an actress and as a performer, is that it was, it was almost a very left brain experience for me, because when you're performing at someone else's words, the music's already been written, the choreography's already been set, and you're doing the exact same thing again and again, and it is quote unquote a performance, right? So it was almost turned into a left brain, like almost like a puppet, versus now when I perform, or when I'm speaking or teaching, I actually feel like I'm able to be a vessel. I feel like nature, creativity, divinity is able to move through me and speak more directly to the people who are in the audience. Now I think the best actors, the best performers can do that even with someone else's script, with someone else's choreography. I don't know that I ever got there, but I didn't find meditation until after I really left acting, kind of. So it'd be interesting to see how, because the whole point of meditation is that we're marrying the right and left hemispheres of the brain, so you're merging that left brain memorization, kind of like outcome oriented piece of you with the present moment, intuitive, creative vessel part of you. And I feel like just now, I feel like I'm really starting to fire on both cylinders simultaneously. But to go back to the original question of what else I brought with me, I think, timing, you know, just like comedic timing, the ability to intuit what people need to hear when, what they're ready to hear. And the big one is just the bravery of putting yourself out there. You know, when you're an actress, you're auditioning day in and day out, week in and week out, sometimes five, six, 10 times a week, you audition and you get rejected. And that I think has really served me as an entrepreneur of, you know, hey, can, do you want to publish my book, hey, can I speak at your conference? You know, hey, can I be a speaker at this? You know, so you just keep putting yourself out there and with lots of people saying no. And it's like it doesn't phase me at all when people say no, I just move on to the next. And then the other feedback I get is that when people watch my videos specifically, because I think meditation is decidedly challenging to communicate via a book or a video, it's a very visceral experience. And I think the fact that I've been in front of a camera my whole life has allowed the message and the energy and the teachings to really move through the lens and into people's hearts and minds in a way that it perhaps wouldn't had I not been in front of a camera so long because inevitably, when you get in front of a camera, you get nervous, you get weird and like this. And that doesn't really happen for me anymore. So I'm able to really connect with people through the lens and people say that when they watch the videos, they do my online training, it feels like I'm with them. And we have a crazy high completion rate, like 43% completion rate, I think, which is the average degree percent. So I think that's been very, very valuable. So we know a lot of you have been listening to us for years, and it means the world to us. What we do here at the unmistakable creative wouldn't be possible without the support of our listeners. If the podcast has been valuable to you, one of the best ways you can support us is to subscribe to unmistakable creative prime, which gives you access to transcripts, all of our courses, monthly coaching calls, live chats with our guests in an incredible community of creatives, and it costs less than you spend on a cup of coffee every month. For the school teachers and people in our education system, prime is completely free to help you with this transition to teaching online. We've packed it with a ton of value and actionable content, and we hope you'll check it out. Just go to unmistakablecreative.com/prime to learn more. Again, that's unmistakablecreative.com/prime. So I think that, you know, this will make kind of a perfect segue into talking about the work that you do out in meditation. So before you and I hit record here, we were talking about the fact that your book is just absolutely crushing it, and we got into this conversation about control, which is something that you really don't have when it comes to a career in the arts. So yeah, somebody who has, you know, both studied meditation and teaches meditation and had this very long career as an actress, how do you think about that idea of control when it comes to things that we have no control over? Well, I definitely call myself a recovering control freak because it's one thing that I love my illusion of, and I have loved my illusion of my whole life. And I think that's sometimes if you grew up in an unstable household, like a lot of adult children of alcoholics tend to be control freaks because if you have any sort of an ad edge or alcoholic in your life, your life is so variable, it's so unpredictable, so anything that you can control you want to. But really, any form of control is ultimately an illusion because we're human and we don't have all the information. We're not nature. Right? We're not divine. I mean, there's a piece of us that's divine, but we are just a piece of divinity. We're not nature itself. We don't have all of the information. And so my favorite analogy on control is, I feel like we humans, when we think we're controlling our lives, we're like a little kid in the grocery store who's driving the plastic shopping or the plastic car on the front of the shopping cart, you know, thinking that we're driving the car. And then meanwhile, the mom is pushing the cart and being like, oh, look how adorable my son thinks he's driving. And I think that's how God looks at humans. You know, we're all like, think we're white knuckling our lives and we're like, I'm controlling. I'm going to sell this many books. I'm going to make the New York Times and I'll get married at this age and I'll make a million dollars by this age. And then God is like pushing the shopping cart of our lives being like, look how adorable that human thinks they're driving. And so I just, whenever I find myself white knuckling my life, I try to remember that God's pushing the shopping cart and that it's not exclusively mine to control. I think if you look at the human brain, it's 50/50, you know, it's 50% left brain, 50% right. That means that I interpret that as 50% individuality and 50% totality. So it's not like you just sit back and get high and play video games and just secret your dreams. You don't have to do stuff, but also you have to leave room for nature to deal with the when and the how. And yeah. Yeah. Wow. Well, I think that that actually makes a really perfect segue to talking about meditation. And I think I want to start with this quote, even though I have a ton of other ones, but this one in particular struck me said, when we allow our brains to recharge and defrag, we're actually building our mental capacity and increasing our creativity. If you think of your job chores and demands as the race you're running in life, meditation as you're training, the mental fitness that allows you to achieve a high level of mastery in every aspect of your life. And I think the reason that struck me was, you know, I drank the Encinitas Kuwait and I decided to go see an energy healer. And for the longest time, I thought she was, you know, the whole thing was just nonsense. But one of the things that we had a conversation about in our last session was meditation. And she's like, I think you think you're too busy for this. And I said, you know, I was willing to do it for five, 10 minutes, whatever. When I went to see Stephen Kotler and do his zero to dangerous training, which was all about flow and high performance, and he said 20 minutes of meditation a day. And it was amazing how quickly I was able to say, you know what, yeah, I'll do it for that reason. It was amazing that just the context could change my perception of that much because I thought, oh, you know what, if it means high performance, then yes, I'll do it. If it, you know, means all this, you know, new age nonsense that I can't quantify, then I don't give a shit that much. And, you know, that's kind of an observation. So I wonder, you know, how, how does this all be? I mean, how, one, what do you have to say about that? Well, it's the exact reason why I wrote this book, why I spent three and a half years of my life basically highlighting all of the science behind why stress is making a stupid sick and flow as a species and basically taking the very powerful medicine that is meditation and wrapping it in the candy coating of like, hey, it's going to help you make more money and have better sex. Oh, and also you'll be less of a dick. So why are you not doing it? So it's like making it so, so practical. And so it speaks to high performers, high achievers, people who are too busy to meditate. Because if it's, if it's not quantifiable, if it is woo-woo, if it is hippie-tippy and ultimately, if you're not getting a return on your time investment, then you are too busy. No one has time to waste. Our time is our most valuable resource. And so the big argument that I make in the book in the first seven chapters are all the science behind what I call the selfish reasons why people come to meditation. So there's a whole chapter on like, why it will help your sleep, why it will help your sex, how it can reverse your body age, why it can improve performance and increase your income. And the cliff notes to all of that is that stress is killing us. You know, stress is responsible for 90% of all doctors visits, according to Harvard Medical School, and doctors are calling it the black plague of our century. And because we're so addicted to it, and because we think that we need our stress to get ahead, because that's been our habit and it's what's the cultural norm. I'm just trying to introduce a new paradigm in that like, hey, if you can run a marathon with that stress, imagine what it would feel like to like take the rock out of your shoe. You know, it's not going to take away your ability to run a marathon. It will be much more enjoyable and much more sustainable. Yeah. Well, I mean, I think that, you know, I wrote about this a while back, I said, I think we're as a culture addicted to achievement, but, you know, being addicted to achievement isn't like being addicted to heroin, you know, it's not like you're on street corners, you know, putting needles into your arm on the surface. We celebrate people's addiction to achievement, you know, we put them in covers of magazines. We give them medals. We give them awards. We give them money. And so when I when I hear that, I think to myself, all right, yes, absolutely. You know, we do have to find a better way to go about this. One thing that you said is that meditation can help you make more money. There's no way I was going to let that go. Tell me how. Well, no matter what your job is, if you are stressed, right, then you're going to be more myopic in your vision, you're not going to have as great of intuition, right? Because if you're stressed and all your mental and physical energy are going to an involuntary flight or flight stress reaction, and when you're in fight or flight, then a lot of your mental energy and blood in your brain is going to the amygdala, which is the fear center of the brain. So by necessity, you don't have as much blood and energy going to create creativity parts of the brain. You don't have like a level of like brain cohesion that you would have if you weren't stressed out. Also, your actual physical body is not functioning as it's meant. Your immune system is weakened, your sex drive is lowered, your in acidity increases. And basically, it's like you're just wasting your mental and physical energy preparing for an imaginary tiger attack. Our modern day demands are 99.9% of the time, not predatory attacks, right? And if you do get attacked by a predator, get stressed. It's not bad for you to get stressed. It's terrible for you to stay stressed. And because of our modern demands of modern life, most of us are living in this low-grade chronic flight or flight thing, and it's this low-grade chronic stress that's leading to inflammation, which is the basis of all disease, it asks the thing that's making us stupid, sick and slow. And so the argument is basically, if you will use the most effective stress relieving tool we have, which is meditation, right, that it stands to reason that you may in fact be able to perform better if you're not wasting so much mental and physical energy. And to me, it just seems so obvious, right, that if A plus B equals C, why does it seem so incongruous for people? And I think that the answer is that because a lot of people are doing the free apps out there, they're doing 10 minutes, like you said, well, I'm willing to do five or 10 minutes of this thing. Now, the reason we even had that negotiation is probably because whatever you were doing was not giving you an exponential return on your time investment, right? Like, if you're like stressed at work, you do 10 minutes of headspace and you feel okay afterwards, it's like, okay, that was fine, but it's not like making more money or helping me have better sex. And so what I'm offering in the Ziva technique and what I teach in the book and in person is that it, because it's not monastic meditation, it's not designed for monks, it's designed for people with busy minds and busy lives, that it actually helps you, you need less time of it, first of all, if you need to invest less time in the meditation itself, and then you get this exponential return on the time investment. Yeah. Hey, I'm Ryan Reynolds. Recently, I asked Mint Mobile's legal team if big wireless companies are allowed to raise prices due to inflation, they said yes. 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So I mean, I think that you effectively said, you know, when you dioxide something you create or when you create order in your cells, the stress can start to come about out in a way that allows your brain to use more computing power for the task at hand instead of wasting energy managing old stress. So I think that, you know, you mentioned headspace, I've been using the calm app. So now, you know, it's funny because I read this and I was like, okay, I knew that we were going to have this conversation. So walk us through, you know, the practical application of this, like, how do I apply the Ziva technique? And also, how does it differ from what we see in the apps like calm and headspace and all those things? Yeah. So that's a great place to start is like, you know, what, what is Ziva? What makes it different from like an app? And I'm not, I certainly do not want to put anything down and I'm not trying to be disrespectful or insulting. And I have nothing but respect for these massive companies that have introduced meditation to millions of new people. So I have only gratitude and I want to educate people on the different types of meditation because it can be confusing if we're just lumping all everything under this one blanket category of meditation, just like there's millions of types of food that do different things to your brain and body. There are also different types of meditation. And so the way that I categorize them is in the three M's, right? So we've got mindfulness meditation and manifesting, which all three of those elements are a part of the Ziva technique. But what most people are practicing out there are some version of like a free app. And most of the apps out there are teaching exclusively mindfulness. Now I would define mindfulness as the art of bringing your awareness into the present moment, which is beautiful and necessary and powerful. But mindfulness, as we know it, is sort of derivative of types of meditation that were originally made for months, right? And this is actually why a lot of people think that meditation is hard because they're trying to do something that wasn't designed for them. It was designed for a month. And none of us will do anything for very long that we feel like we're failing at. Now, I also think we kind of fetishize monks a little bit in the West because they think, well, whatever monks are doing must be so much more powerful because they must be like floating or vibrating or levitating, but it's actually the other way around. If you have a job and kids and stuff to do, then you have less time in your day with which to meditate. So you actually need a practice that's more powerful. You need something that's going to go in and be extent the nervous system like you mentioned so that you can come out and deliver the most amazing version of you to your family, to your job. So the meditation portion of the Ziva technique is very good, not only at getting rid of your stress in the now, which is what mindfulness does, like a state change. This meditation is creating a trait change. It's actually going in and getting rid of your stress from the past. All that stuff that we've been storing in our cellular and now we know epigenetic memory. It's going in and getting that stuff up and out. And it is that old accumulated stress. That's what's bogging us down. That's what's making us stupid, sick and slow. So if you do a practice, it's very restful that's going in and basically inducing this verifiable fourth state of consciousness, then not only are you more awake on the other side, but you also have eradicated some of that backlog of stresses. And that's ultimately what's increasing your cognitive performance. Hmm. Wow. Well, let's talk about how we actually do that then. Okay. Cool. Which part? Well, I mean, how we start, you know, if I were to begin the practice tomorrow, where would you have to start? So the cool thing about this is that meditation really is like any other skill. And because it is simple, a lot of people think that they should already know how to do it, right? It's like, oh, I just missed that day in school and where they taught meditation, everyone seems to know what they're doing. So I'll just pretend and I'll just sit in this chair and try and clear my mind. And so if you think the meditation means sitting in a chair and trying to clear your mind, I got news for you, you're always going to feel like a failure because the mind thinks involuntarily, just like the heart beat involuntarily. And this is again, why everyone thinks that meditation is hard because they're judging themselves based on misinformation. So step one is just know that it is a skill. It does take some training and we don't want to confuse simplicity for weakness, right? Because the power in this practice actually comes from the simplicity, just like the most profound truths are the simplest. I think that the most profound techniques are oftentimes the simplest. So what I teach in the book and what I teach in Ziva online, basically, we move people through a matriculation so that we start with the mindfulness. And the technique that we use is really simple, but very powerful. It's called come to your senses and we basically use all five of the senses as a tool to bring ourselves into the body, into the now, to break up that right brain. And also as a bit of a hack to like include all of the things going on in your awareness in the experience, because a lot of us think, well, I have to have a quiet space to meditate, not with Viva. A lot of people think like, I can't do it on a bus or on a subway or with my kids in the next room. But the reality is anywhere you can think of thought, you can think these tools. You can use these tools. And so you can meditate. You don't need headphones or white noise or gongs or a dude playing a drum in your chest in order to meditate. Like you just close your eyes and dive in. So we start with the mindfulness and then we move into the meditation. And that's probably the most different than what most people think of, because a lot of people think they have to focus or concentrate or have fancy fingers or an erect spine. And with Ziva, it's kind of like the lazy man's meditation. Like all you need to do it is a place to sit and it feels more like a nap sitting up than it does like anything with effort or concentration. And then we move through into the manifesting. And this I think is actually the most relevant piece to you and to your work because the manifesting is basically consciously creating a life you love. And it's about getting into the feeling space as if your dream is happening now. And where this becomes a bit of an advanced practice is that we have to keep reminding ourselves that our happiness does not come on the other side of the manifestation of the desires. The happiness isn't going to come on the other side of manifesting a husband or a kid or a best-selling book on the New York Times list or a million dollars. Like our happiness is always found now and it's always found inside. And yet that doesn't take our desires away. And so to me, as we start to move into mastery and as we keep daily practice, we start to both actively go after our dreams and develop total detachment from them. And that is admittedly a lifelong practice, at least for me. Yeah. I mean, I think that it's something that I've come to realize is that, you know, everything that you're attached to basically imprisons you and everything you let go of liberates you. It's funny because I think about it. So if you literally think physically of being attached to something, right, let's say that you're attached to a million dollars and get it, but you're physically attached to it. You have to carry it around with you everywhere you go in a briefcase, you would see literally how imprisoned you are by this thing that you wanted so that. Hmm. That's great. How about that? I love that. Either why. I started in the conversation to somebody who was interviewing me for their podcast and I was like, huh, I think I need to write about this. Yes, please do. So you know, I get the mindfulness piece because I think that's where most of us begin our practice. So what is happening, you know, when we make the transition between each of these three phases, how long do we spend in each one? How do you know that you've made the transition from one to the other? What is going on? Like, yeah, I mean, how do you know and how, you know, how can you be aware that you've made the transition from one to the other? Mm hmm. What? So we start with the mindfulness and that is very much where you're directing your focus, right? And like you said, this is what most people are familiar with. So any quote unquote guided meditation, most of the apps, most of the YouTube videos, most of the drop in studios are teaching what I would call mindfulness. And what's happening in the brain is that it's a smaller part of the brain is lighting up, but very, very bright. And this is different than what happens in meditation and specifically Ziva where the whole brain lights up, but not as bright. And so a cool byproduct of that is that if the whole brain is lighting up, you start to strengthen the corpus callosum, which is thin white strip connects the right and left hemispheres of the brain, which is powerful because that's the thing that's balancing masculine and feminine, creative and critical individuality and totality. And yeah, so in the mindfulness, we're sort of focusing in the meditation. It's much more surrendered. It's much more about letting go. And you'll know that you've transitioned because you're the one making the transition. Like that's, that's what I teach people how to do it. You know, you're actually timing it, you have a timepiece near you and you're looking at the time and like, oh, I'm going to spend this long and mindfulness. And really we think about it. That is almost like the appetizer to the main course, which is the meditation. And then you're just checking the time and you're like, oh, the certain time has gone up depending on, you know, which, which training you do, then you would move into the manifesting. And there is magic in manifesting right after the meditation, because the right and left hemispheres of the brain are talking to each other because you have the excited, your nervous system and sort of connected to source energy or connected to your own higher power, whatever you want to call that. I think that manifesting from that place is so much more powerful than doing it from your waking state, left brain, middle of your day running around craziness, but easier to both hear your intuition, it's easier to hear how nature would like to use you. And I think it's a more powerful place to set your intention to, like, I'm liking it to placing your order with the cosmic waitress at the cosmic restaurant, you know, like, you know, nature is willing to take the order, but a lot of us aren't even placing it. You know, we just go into the restaurant and sit down and be like, oh, I'm so hungry. I'd love some food. And the waiting was like, yeah, what would you like? You're like food. I'm starving. I'm like, when am I going to get my food? It's like, just place the order and be specific. How long do you have to do this for? So I recommend with Ziva online, it's 15 minutes twice a day. So it's like you would do the first one, like before coffee, breakfast or computer. And then ideally you do that second one at any point before dinner. So like when you would have had that cup of coffee in the afternoon or you would have maybe been reaching to the chocolate or the nap, that's when you want to do your second meditation and, you know, people think like, Oh, gosh, I don't have 15 minutes in my day, but we think we don't have 15 minutes because if we're stressed, then we're not functioning as optimally or as efficiently as we could. Uh huh. So one of the things that you say is the point is not to throw out your ambition, but simply to be wary of allowing your ambition to control your fulfillment and believing that you have to be unhappy now in order to be happy someday. The reality is that there's no need to make yourself miserable pursuing a dream. Happiness is only ever found in the present moment. And the reason that that cut my attention is because I was writing something about hedonic adaptation this morning and how that this sort of pursuit of everlasting happiness really is kind of a foolish errand because there's literally nothing. You know, I imagine day one, even maybe now you hit the New York Times bestseller list and it's, you know, cloud nine. I bet if I asked you a year from now, do you still feel exactly the same about that? You probably wouldn't because the carrot will have moved. So how do you mitigate hedonic adaptation? Which maybe there's no answer to that question. I figure since I have you here, I should ask you. And so can you define, I want to make sure I understand hedonic adaptation. It's the, it's the quest of constant pleasure, eternal summer. Yeah. We all know that there's a hedonic treadmill and people have come to unmistakable freedom. They've talked about it. You know, the same, the very same thing. I remember Sasha Heinz told me. She said, go and look at the Olympic podium and she said, you'll see that the bronze winner is the one who is usually smiling. The gold winner is usually smiling and the person who has the frown on their face is the silver medalist because the bronze winner is just happy to be on the podium. The silver medalist doesn't see it as a success. They just see the fact that they didn't win a gold. Yes. I get that. Okay. Beautiful. So I would call this, I think it's the same concept of what I call the I'll be happy when in the syndrome, right, like I'll be happy when like the carrot keeps moving. I'll be happy when I get a bike. I get a car. I'm in college. I get a girl. I get a job. I go on vacation. I have Wi-Fi. So I get to my work emails again. I get $1 million. I get $100 million. I get a jet. And by the time you have $100 million in a jet, you just miss the days that you could get high and go to the park and, you know, not have to manage your money all day because then you've got to carry around two cases of money if you're attached to it, you know, like your $1 million analogy. So the carrot's always going to move, right? And actually, hilariously, two days after my book came out and it was going so well, we like debuted at number seven out of all books on Amazon. And two days later, my publisher was like, Hey, let's start talking about book two. And I was like, I want to punch you in the face, right? Because it was, I would have been like, that would be amazing if I got that email from my publisher. Yeah. Yes. So it was, it was such a gift, right? It was such a beautiful thing and it was an indicator of two things. One that I had been like working unsustainably, right? Like I was hitting it arguably very, very hard and I also had a baby in the middle of this book launch. So I was birthing a book and a baby at the same time and nursing every three hours through the launch and which, you know, in hindsight, it was really, really a lot. So certainly I was to some degree in this, I'll be happy when syndrome, right? I'll be happy when this book is launched. I'll be happy when we make the New York kind. And so the fact that I had that reaction to her when she said that with, let's talk about book two was a big flag to me of like, Hey, you're working on sustainably, which, you know, on the grand scheme of things, it's fine. I knew it was going to be like there's seasons of life, you know, and I knew this was going to be an intense season. And right now I'm actively resting, you know, I'm down shifting, I'm, you know, replenishing the soil. But the point of the story is that like if you think you'll be happy once you publish your book, well, then there might just be another book deal right behind it. If you think happy, you'll be happy once you get married. It's like the reality is if you don't have the ability to find your happiness inside of you right here, right now, it is not coming on the other side of any person place or thing. And so the trick is it's like we've been, and I think that's where that addicted addiction to achievement comes that addiction to accomplishing comes, because it's like, oh, well, it's like we're searching for the happiness everywhere that it isn't. Like looking for love in all the wrong places, where we have to start to look for happiness in the only place that it resides, which is inside of us. And that's actually paradoxically why I think the meditation is so transformative because it's the only tool, not the only, but I'd say it's the simplest and the most easy to implement tool that actually gives you access to your fulfillment internally. It's flooding your brain and body with dopamine and serotonin, which allows you to feel that fulfillment, that satiation, that complete, that contentedness right here, right now. And interestingly, when you come out of the meditation, it does not take away your ambition. It does not take away your desires. What it takes away is the illusion that your happiness will come on the other side of the acquisition of your desires. And this is a big shift that happens for meditators is that it changes them from being a bag of need looking to be fulfilled, either through money or relationships or accomplishments or Instagram followers, and it turns you into fulfillment looking for need. And so when you start to ask questions of like, where can I contribute? How can I help? How can I show up? How do I want to feel versus, you know, how can they help me? How can this person further me? What can I get from them? You know, so we stop being energetic vampires and we turn into being energetically generous. So I have to ask you, do you think that our use of technology, particularly social media, plays a negative role in all of this? I think that it's a very powerful tool. And I think that a lot of us are very addicted to it. And I think that just like when we watch videos or movies of people smoking cigarettes in the 50s inside and on planes and pregnant women smoking and drinking martinis, like just like we didn't really fully understand how addictive cigarettes were in the beginning of them existing, I think that we don't yet fully have a grasp on how addictive and what exactly it's doing to our brains. And so we're all just smoking in public and smoking when we're pregnant. And you know, we're just doing it insatiably right now and cloaking it under the mask of productivity. And so I do think that there is definitely a danger to it. But I think that's any tool, like you can poison yourself with water, you can meditate as a drug, you know, the devil's in the dose, you know, and so I think that it's a tool that we collectively would be wise to acknowledge the addictive benefits of it and to put some real parameters around when we allow ourselves to do it and when it's socially acceptable to do it. So I know for myself, I tend to have, I would say I have a bit of an Instagram or social media addiction. And I think that when I was, I had a very challenging postpartum time, there's a lot of physical complications and emotional, you know, it's just a huge hormonal shift. And I was going back to work and publishing this book and anyway, and I was like an excruciating physical pain. And I remember posting about it on Instagram and I was like, it's genuine call for help. It wasn't just like faux authenticity, it makes me a little nauseous. But I was actually in pain and I was like, Hey, I need help. Like, what did you guys do when you were nursing? Like please give me all your tricks and hundreds and hundreds of people commented. And it actually made me feel less alone. And so many of the ideas were good and I tried them and they helped to satiate the physical pain or abate the physical pain. And so I was very grateful for it in that moment. And, and like our Facebook groups, like we have these beautiful, huge global communities of meditators and I just got off a call with them right before this. And there was thousands, you know, thousands of people in there that have done the trainings. And that's a place for us to connect and to continue the conversation to get to port. So I think there's a lot of good and healing that can come from it and there's a lot of. It's a huge paradox for the very thing that often isolates has made you feel connected and less lonely. And in one context and in another, it's the same thing that could make you feel incredibly lonely, miserable about your life. But look, that's just like every party. You know, you take one person who's dealing with depression and anxiety and put them in a party, that thing is going to be torturous for them. You put another person who's happy and has just meditated and just exercised and feeling great and you put them at the same party and they're going to enjoy it. So the question is like, is the social media making us feel more lonely or are we bringing our anxiety and depression like to this social party? And I think it's a bit of both. Well, I think I really appreciated that you said the devil is in the dose. I think that, you know, when I when I heard one of the things that Steven Collar talked about when I went to his training was he said, you know, you look at sort of the way typical self improvement works. And you know, you basically what he does, he said that what you're doing basically is you're taking people and you're putting them in flow and effectively just deactivating the prefrontal cortex. And then you're like, yeah, sign up for my hundred thousand dollar mastermind. And I think that that's where we kind of, you know, don't think about the dosage and we become what he said effectively or bliss junkies. Mm hmm. With that. Such, I mean, we could probably talk about that for two hours. Mm hmm. Yeah. He was like, I don't know if you ever into, well, I, yeah, that's the whole rabbit hole. I don't want to, I don't want to go down that. I don't want to talk about it. I've been very mindful, even when I held an event, because I remember that one of the very last things I said to the people at our event, I said, okay, you've been here for two days, you probably feel this incredible high right now. You should know that's going to end probably by tomorrow morning, it might last until Monday. And I don't think we make people aware of that. And as a result, they make really bad decisions. Mm hmm. Yeah. I mean, I'm, I don't think I've totally solved for that. But when, when I teach, you know, my, my live training, it's two hours a day for four days. And so we do the math on that. I could do it in one day for just looking at time, but I break it up so that people start to create their own habits, their own discipline. So they have time to go home, practice and come back with questions. And then once people graduate, they can come back anytime they want to for life. And part of that is so that you're not just on some like high of like, I'm meditating with 50 people and Emily's telling me how awesome it is. And then you go home on Monday and just quit for the rest of your life. Because really, like if people take my training, but never meditate again, they're no good to me. Sure. They're not going to make any other meditators. They're not going to refer anyone to me. So like selfishly, from a business perspective, they're not referring people, but energetically and cognitively, they're not contributing bliss and fulfillment to their families, to their corporations, to their companies, to their towns. And so I have a vested interest in making sure that people keep up with this habit in the long term. And so for me, it's not just about like creating how much dopamine and bliss can we hit with them in one weekend. It's like, can we make this sustainable? Can we make people self-sufficient so that they actually keep meditating? Wow, well, this has been amazing. I have one final question for you, which is how we finish all of our interviews at the end. What do you think it is that makes somebody or something unmistakable? What do I think makes someone unmistakable? Do you mean, can you clarify, like unmistakable, like so uniquely them? Yeah. I mean, that's, that's, I defined unmistakable as so distinctive that nobody else could have done it, but you, whether it's your work or you, it's immediately recognized to the point where you don't have to put your signature on. That's how I defined it for the purpose of writing a book, but I've asked a hundred people, you know, hundreds of people, this question, and they all have their own definitions. Okay. Beautiful. So, fascinatingly, I think that the more specifically you, something is, the more intimately just nuanced and specifically you, it is the more universal the reach is. And this is something that's very hard to grasp as an actor, because you think, well, I want to reach so many people and the more general or broad the emotion is the more people or reach, but it's the opposite. It's like, if you just try to be angry as an actor, it doesn't work, it doesn't affect anyone. But if you think about like the sound of the saliva popping in a loud mouth to or in your ear, if that makes you crazy, if that specificity, like lights up something inside of you, it can have a massive ripple effect. And so, I think basically, it's like we want to be so unique, so specific, and the same paradigm almost works in reverse, because I think the way to be unmistakable is actually by tapping into creativity itself, by tapping into your higher power, by letting source or nature or creativity use you as a vessel, then interestingly, it becomes so unmistakably you, even though it's not your word, it's not your ideas, it's you being a vessel. Well, I can't thank you enough for taking the time to join us and sharing your story and your insights with our listeners. This has been really thought provoking and eye opening, and probably you will make a lot of meditators out of our listeners. Where can people find out more about you, your work, the book, and everything else that you're up to? Yeah, so the book is called Stress Less, Accomplished More, it's available basically anywhere books are sold, and then all of my stuff, my live and online trainings are all at Ziva at Z-I-V-A meditation.com, and we're all over social at Ziva Meditation. Awesome, and for everybody listening, we'll wrap the show with that. Hi, this is Jonathan Fields, host of The Good Life Project, where each week I talk to listeners about investing in their future by increasing their own vitality, but when it comes to those financial goals, whether it be saving for a home renovation, growing your child's college fund, or travel, life can make it difficult to stay the course. By working with a dedicated Merrill Advisor, you get a personalized plan and a clear path forward. Having the bullet your back helps your whole financial life move with you, so when your plans change, Merrill's with you every step of the way. Go to ml.com/bullish to learn more. Merrill, a Bank of America company, what would you like the power to do? Everything involves risk, Merrill Lynch, Pierce Fender, Smith Inc., registered broker dealer, registered investment advisor, Member S.I.P.C. Why don't more infant formula companies use organic, grass-fed, whole milk instead of skim? Why don't more infant formula companies use the latest breast milk science? Why don't more infant formula companies run their own clinical trials? Why don't more infant formula companies use more of the proteins found in breast milk? Why don't more infant formula companies have their own factories instead of outsourcing their manufacturing? We wondered the same thing, so we made ByHeart, a better formula for formula. Learn more at ByHeart.com. We all have somewhere we're trying to get to. 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Join us for our Life of Purpose series this month as we revisit some of our most impactful episodes. Dive deep into expert insights and practical strategies on health, performance, and community, helping you achieve personal and professional fulfillment.


In this episode of Unmistakable Creative, we are joined by Emily Fletcher, the founder of Ziva Meditation and the leading expert in meditation for performance. Emily has taught meditation to over 40,000 people, helping them to stress less and accomplish more. Her best-selling book, "Stress Less, Accomplish More," debuted at #7 on Amazon and has been translated into 12 languages, making her a worldwide authority on the subject.


Emily's journey from Broadway performer to meditation teacher is both inspiring and relatable. She shares her personal experiences with stress and anxiety and how meditation became her number one tool for dealing with these challenges. Emily's approach to meditation is unique, combining mindfulness and manifestation with traditional meditation techniques. This combination, known as the Ziva technique, is designed to manage different kinds of stress and has proven to be effective for thousands of individuals.


In this enlightening conversation, Emily offers valuable insights into how to go from being full of need and seeking fulfillment, to being fulfilled and looking for need. She provides practical advice on how to incorporate the Ziva technique into your daily routine, regardless of how busy you are. Whether you're new to meditation or looking to deepen your practice, this episode is a must-listen. Discover how to stress less, accomplish more, and unlock your full potential with Emily Fletcher.

Subscribe for ad-free interviews and bonus episodes https://plus.acast.com/s/the-unmistakable-creative-podcast.



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