The Unmistakable Creative Podcast

Redefining Ambition with Amber Rae

Amber Rae is on a mission to redefine ambition. This mission has resulted in a journey through well known startups, a successful co-working group, The Domino Project, and The Bold Academy. She’s worked with CEO’s of 100 million dollar businesses, traders in Hong Kong, photographers, artists and wide range of people design their ideal life.

Living for the Question of What You Were Put on the Earth to Do
How Amber Landed Many High Profile Startups as a Clients
The Process of Inquiry Necessary to Identify Underlying Fears
Why You Shouldn’t Judge Yourself Before You Express Yourself
Launching a Co-Working Movement That Spread to 25 Cities
The Ebbs and flows of an incredible journey
Accelerating the Innovator Instead of the Innovation
The Biggest Mistakes You Can Make With Experiments
Why Thinking too Much Keeps You from Taking Action
Key Learnings from the First Launch of the Bold Academy
Give Something and Expecting Nothing in Return
The #1 Question You can Ask Somebody
How to launch a MVP and eliminate the unnecessary
Working as the Chief Evangelist for the The Domino Project
How Your “Why” Continually Evolves
The 3 Key Pieces of Amber’s Creative Process
Why You Have to Setup a Proper Environment for Creating
How Writing by Hand Changes the Experience of Writing

People and Resources Mentioned

New York Night Owls

The Domino Project

Steven Pressfield

Anything You Want by Derek Sivers

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Broadcast on:: 08 Jan 2014
Audio Format:: other

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Give it a try at Mint Mobile.com/switch. $45 up from payment equivalent to $15 per month. New customers on first three month plan only. Taxes and fees extra. Speed slower above 40 gigabytes of detail. Hey there, it's Greenie and Hembo, and we are back and better than ever. Got your answers is for sale, and if you are interested in winning every sports debate you have for the rest of your life, this is the book for you. We take the 100 biggest sports debates and answer them, settle them once and for all. Meanwhile, Hembo, what's your favorite part of the book? 100. Sneaky Hembo trivia question. All that and a whole lot more, it's called Got Your Answers, it's available anywhere you get your books right now. Amber, thanks so much for taking the time to join us. Aw, it's my pleasure, and I'm thrilled to be here too, I really appreciate you inviting me to be part of this. Yeah, absolutely. So I'm going to ask you the very first question that I ask everybody, and that is, can you tell us a bit about yourself, your background, and how that has brought you to doing the work that you're doing today? Sure. Wow, where do I begin? I, let's see, I was, I'm thinking, how far back do you really want me to go? Now let me actually start with the kind of overarching why and message that really drives me, and then I can tell a little bit about how I got here. Okay, perfect. So I'm really on a mission to redefine ambition and to shift the conversation from one of getting ahead to one of coming alive. And what I mean by that is, how do we shift from fear-driven to heart-led, from self-doubting to self-expressive, from competitive to collaborative, in control to in the moment, and really having a draining life to one that's self-sustaining. And this has really been a journey that I've taken myself on, and that I've had the privilege to work with hundreds and thousands of others to help them to make that shift from getting ahead to coming alive. And it, I'd say, I'll start with a pivotal moment that happened when I was about, I think I was, gosh, I have no sense of time anymore, I think I was 22, living in San Francisco, and I basically was waking up every day saying, "I don't want this life. I don't want this conventional job title." And I should be grateful. And it was the middle of the recession. I had a job working for a technology startup, yet day in and day out, this life that on the outs, side to friends and family, they're like, "Oh, you're in a great job to success." It just didn't resonate with me. And when I tried to talk with people about it, they said, "You should be grateful." And I was grateful, but it wasn't working for me. And so I really set on a journey to, over the past, I think it's been, I don't know, four or five years, and really it's been part of my whole life to really figure out what ambition means to me and to figure out the path that makes me come alive. So that's really the heart and soul of what I do and what I dedicate myself to day in and day out. Awesome. I love it. So a ton of stuff there. So let's do this. Let's talk about the journey that has led you to this mission and this message, because I know there's a ton of stuff that has brought you to this point. Yeah. I mean, I think the first moment in the journey was really the journey before the journey, which was all of self-doubting and the questioning and the feeling of the pain of really, this is not my life. This is not the life I want to be living. And then making the decision to finally do something about it, which was sparked through a conversation with a friend, Amit, actually. This was, I think, in 2009, I'm not entirely sure, though, somewhere around there. And I basically sat down with him and told him that I wanted to follow my heart to New York and really figure out what made me come alive. And he was the first person who really said, "You should go. You should go do that." And up until that point, every time when I talked to other people, they would ask me 12 questions and tell me it was the worst idea on Earth. So finally, to have someone be like, "Oh, you totally can do it. I trust you, and I have faith in you. And why not?" It was really refreshing. And so he, through that conversation, he pushed me to basically, in a 48-hour period, quit my job, sell everything I own, book them one way, take it to New York, pack my life into one suitcase, and to go. And that was really, that to me is probably, it's that pivotal moment. And there was tons of the journey of leading up to me being a 22-year-old girl, obviously influenced that. I was raised by an entrepreneurial mom, and I was starting on my magazines when I was 12. I worked with Apple throughout college. So there were a lot of things I think that prepared me to really go. But that was really that first moment in the journey. And then it was a whole lot of exploring and experimenting, and a lot of not knowing what the hell I was doing, and falling down a lot and tripping and standing up stronger and continuing to explore and experiment, and really a lot of ebbs and flows. And so when I got to New York, so when I decided to do this whole four-day-hour move and I got to the airport and I told no one about it, I didn't even tell my mom and my mom and I are super close. But I knew that she might talk me out of it, even though she's really encouraging of kind of my wild ideas, I thought this one may be a little too much. But I got to the airport, I called her and told her what was going on, and she was very supportive, which was amazing. And then I decided to write basically a blog post about what I was doing, why I was doing it, and basically my whole notion of this journey was I'm going to live for the question of what was I put on this earth to do, and how can I contribute most to this world. And I'm going to give myself the space to experience those answers. And so I wrote about that, and when I landed in New York and turned on my phone, I was shocked by the number of text messages, emails, and tweets, and Facebook posts that I'd gotten from people who got whiff of this blog post. And that really was, that was a moment for me because I think the CEO of some venture capital firm sent it to a CEO listserv, so I was getting emails from the CEOs and different digital agencies. Wanna hire me? Yadda yadda yadda. You know, I was kind of in a place where I don't, I'm not looking for a job right now. I want to just like explore an experiment. And so the first thing I really did was I convinced Amit, who helped, he started photo JoJo, I was like, hey, let me be your East Coast creative sidekick. And if you introduce me to the different startup founders that you know in New York, I'll go in and try and figure out how we can create a meaningful collaboration with photo JoJo so that we can, you know, build community ample side, spread the word about photo JoJo and sell more stuff, ideally. And so, you know, he introduced me to the team at Tumblr, he did Vimeo, busted T, Squarespace, and you know, it was, it was just a whole lot of, just like kind of, you know, making it up as I went along. And we ended up with Tumblr figuring out this 30-day photo challenge where, you know, every day there was a new, there was a new photo theme, a new judge, and a new gift, and that, you know, that went on for 30 days and thousands of people contributed photos with Squarespace. It was the most money I ever made in five minutes. I walked in not knowing exactly what I, what was going to happen, but I basically was like, yeah, you know, the photo JoJo audience was like this and yeah, yeah, yeah, just talking to him. He's like, great. So can I get like a 15 or $20,000 ad deal? And I was like, uh, sure. And so it was a lot of kind of that. And then that ultimately led me to starting something called New York night owls, which was this late night co-working group. And I really wanted to explore, you know, bringing techies and creatives together late at night to get shit done. We worked from 9 p.m. till 3 a.m. And that concept really took off. It was, I think it was so out there that the New York Times wrote a post about it. We were on the, you know, we were on the Sunday business section, ABC World News at a story, and we ended up spreading to like 20 or 25 cities around the world in a couple of months. And again, like these weren't things that I wanted to do forever, but it was just more about exploring and really through experience figuring out what it is that I'm good at and how it is that I can serve others. And I think the most, you know, what was most impactful is that I kept writing about the ebbs and flows of the journey. So the blog is really the thread that ties it all together. And it was through writing and through sharing, vulnerably of my experiences and, you know, my struggles and what wasn't, was not working, that I started accumulating, you know, just people, tons and tons of emails from people sending me their life story and asking me what they should do. And it ended up getting to the point, it was actually, when I was working with Seth Godin on the Domino Project, we were creating this publishing experiment that was powered by Amazon, he helped kind of bring more attention to what I was doing, of course, Seth Godin. And that's when I just liked the amount of emails I was getting became overwhelming. And a friend of mine over a beer one day was like, well, this is a business opportunity, Amber. Like, why don't you figure out a program in which you can serve them? And because it was, you know, writing and really helping people to make that shift from getting ahead to coming alive and really designing their ideal life was what I was always most drawn toward. It's what lit me up, it's what I would spend my, you know, days and nights helping friends figure out for themselves it, you know, it's just where I kept going back to. And so eventually I launched something called the Passion Experiment, which was this one on one coaching program. And that was, I think that was about two and a half years ago now. And so since then I have helped, I think, you know, over a hundred different, whether it was a CEO of a hundred million dollar business to, you know, a trader in Hong Kong, to social entrepreneurs, designers, photographers, writers, a whole range of people really to rethink and redesign every aspect of their life. And that then led to starting something called the Bold Academy, which was this Life Accelerator program. And that was really influenced by, there's all of these tech accelerators out there. And I had been working for a bit with the Unreasonable Institute and they accelerate social entrepreneurs. And what I ultimately realized is that I was less interested in the acceleration of the innovation and I was more interested in the acceleration of the innovator and why they're doing what they're doing and how, what their optimal rhythm and flow looks like and, and all of that. So that led to Bold and there were a whole lot of learnings there. And now there's some more, there's more exciting things in the works. Wow. Try to, try to make that as short and sweet as possible. No, I'm really glad you didn't. I'm already thinking we're probably going to have to do two interviews with you just because there's so much here to cover in an hour. I'm seriously blown away. So let's do this. You've given me a ton of material to work with. So let's, let's start actually at, at the beginning of, of this conversation, you know, one of the things that you said early was that you said, you know, you realize that you didn't want the life you were living, but you're also plagued by the same things that all of us are plagued by, which is fear, self doubt. And then, then of course in, you know, you make that 48 or our, or our bold decision to just suddenly leave everything and go. And a lot of people are not going to have that option, but they're, you know, wanting to make drastic changes. A lot of people listening to this and they're plagued by all the things that you were plagued by. But when you work with people, how you get them past that, because I feel like so much of what holds us back is not our ability to execute things, but our baggage that's emotional and all these false stories. Absolutely. Absolutely. And that's, you know, that's exactly what it is. So process of inquiry and really like diving deeper and deeper and deeper to know the underlying, like, so, you know, maybe it's, maybe it's a fear of not being good enough or a fear of rejection. Like, we have to, it's, it's a process of really identifying what that underlying fear is. And then going back to the story that started it. And what I typically do with clients is I actually even get them to like name that person or that like that part of them that is plagued by fear, which is I, I call the fear voice. And so my fear voice, her name is Grace. And Grace is actually just really interested in making sure that I'm composed and I'm like graceful and I'm having it all together. And like, you know, she's kind of the perfectionist tendencies and the, but, you know, she ultimately is here on my side, but, you know, Grace sometimes will get in my way. And so it's, it's all helped clients to really identify with that fear voice and know where it started and know the memory, like, what's your first, like, what was the first moment you didn't feel good enough? And like really going there, which is, it's really scary work for some people. But like, you know, once you get there and once you have that moment and once you can identify it and once you can actually talk to it, so a lot of it is like, how do you have that conversation with the fear? So, you know, over the last month, I've been putting myself in this writing hole and I even on my fireplace mantle, I have this, this, this mantra, this note, this is, you know, get out of the way and let the creative force work through you. Show up at the page and write down what you hear, ease drop rather than invent. You don't have to be in the mood just right because you aren't doing it. And the whole idea was I was, I wanted to accumulate more pages and not judgments because sometimes when I write, I can get into editor mode, which is when Grace shows up and wants it to be perfect. And what, what happens is that I judge myself before I express myself and then I don't write anything at all. And so, you know, I think that's a micro example of what I think shows up in other people's lives. And, you know, and so I end up all sit and be like, okay, Grace, what is it that you need for me? Like why, like, and I'll, I'll talk to her and I'll reassure her and I'll make her feel comfortable and then that will, that will usually give me the faith, the trust to really like to move forward because it's, it's really, it's about completing the incomplete in your past. Love it. It's just genius. Yeah. I would completely agree. It's funny, you know, my block cast FM backstage, Coach Greg Hartle and I have talked about this. He said, you know, he said, as you let go of baggage and false stories, have you noticed that suddenly all these things start working out in your life? Totally. I, you know what it is, I think that all the things that you're talking about, like the fear, the doubt, you know, the anxiety, all these things, like it, what, what happens is we fill a space in our lives with these things and once we get rid of them or once we let go of them, that space is open to create something that doesn't exist. And that's been probably my most profound discovery of this whole entire year. Like every time something like goes away that I thought was good or bad, I realize, okay, there's an open space in a blank canvas. That means anything amazing could fill that space. And the last 60 days have been clearly indicative of that. Yeah, absolutely. And cheers to you for that. That's amazing. Yeah. Well, let's do this. Let's shift gears a little bit and let's start talking about kind of, you know, you hit the ground in New York and one of the things you mentioned is that, you know, you conducted a lot of experiments and you fell flat on your face in some of them, some of them work. I do want to get into specifics, but talk to me about sort of lessons learned from the experience you conducted, how people can conduct their own experiments and how people how they can make sure those experiments are useful and learn from them, and then we'll get into some more specifics around the things that you've worked on and been a part of. Sure. So, you know, I think starting in any experiment is what's the hypothesis, like what are you hoping to learn and gain from here and in what? And so I guess to take a step back, the biggest mistake that I've made in experimentation is just going fully all like, you know, I'm an all in or all out person and I would go fully all in without maybe doing a little bit of thinking in advance, which I think, you know, I guess trying to figure out how to answer this. I think there's, so first off, I think it's you need to act first, reflect later and then iterate. And so a lot of why I'm editing myself here is because, you know, I think if I wouldn't have gone all in and kind of fallen flat on my face, I wouldn't have had that space to really reflect and then iterate and create something better in the future. So it's, I think that what holds people back actually is if they think too much but try to make it perfect, they actually won't take action. And so it's allowing yourself to wherever you're at right now, you're ready to keep taking action and knowing that however you fall on your face, which I believe that for the rest of our lives, we're going to continue falling on our faces to some extent in some way, you know, you're going to continue to grow and improve from that from that place. So it's first to start wherever you are. And just remember the thinking of act now, reflect later and then iterate. And I think, you know, like a good example with, with old Academy is, you know, I think there were really like three key learnings for me. And the first was that, you know, well here, let me talk about actually what didn't work. What I realized that didn't work is that it was a 10 day program. People came in and it was so powerful that they left their place of comfort to step into a house where they didn't really know anyone. They didn't know exactly what was going to happen. They were committed to really becoming their boldest self. But what happened is that when they left bold, you know, they went back into their, their environment that they were comfortable in. And so I don't think it worked from a long term support and sustainability and change perspective. You know, it was really a catalyst that created the spark for transformation. But ultimately what I realized through bold was that, you know, I want to go deeper. I want to dive in over a period of time, build lasting relationships and connect the dots for a more sustained period of time. So bold was really an experiment for me in figuring out what is the, the curriculum that drives facilitation and like, how can I engineer a community such that I can make sure that the right people in the room to serve each other in areas of weakness and to help each other grow in the ways that they, they really hope to grow. Mm hmm. Awesome. Okay. So we'll come back to bold because I definitely wanted to get into a lot of detail around that as well. But let's start with a lot of the projects that you initially worked on when you got to New York starting with photo Jojo and I guess the question for me around this is, you know, a lot of people are going to hear that and say, okay, well, Amber happened to be connected to a lot of people that could help her make this happen. And I, to me, that's, that's not really the point here. The point is that that's accessible to anybody because we all have networks. We all have contacts. So if you're guiding somebody who literally hits the ground fresh in a new city in that same situation and wants to find opportunity or create opportunity for themselves or create demand for themselves, how do you get them to do that? Yeah. And it's funny. It's like, I wasn't connected to anyone and then I was connected to people. You know, it's everyone makes that, makes that, that shift. And I think it's all about, it's about all about contribution and giving. So giving before you asks for something in return. And so even with Amit, you know, I didn't, I was just like, Hey, let me figure out, I wasn't like, Hey, you should pay me. I was like, Hey, like, I'm really excited about what you do. And I would love to help further your brand and message. And I accidentally made money along the way, if that makes sense. And it wasn't anything significant. But for me, it was more about how can I add value? And that, like, that's the number one question to ask yourself. How can you add value to this person? A lot. This is actually something Charlie home. I learned from him at TEDx because we both spoke at TEDx together. And he, this is how he had a split in the door with Tim Ferriss. And so it was basically, and I've actually guided several of my clients with this who, you know, they've worked with Skillshare, different record labels. They've landed like these dream clients all by saying, Hey, here are three ways that I could see, you know, here are three ways that I can see your business improving. Here's how I'd like to contribute. Here's how it works. And I would love to, you know, work for you for free for the next month to see how, to see what that looks like and to, you know, to figure out if there's maybe something further for us, you know, down the line. And what's happened again and again and again is either one of two things. So one, the client goes in and it's their dream client. Oh my God, they're so excited. They work with them and I'm like, Oh, this isn't what I thought it was going to be. I'm not really interested in actually working with them. So it's, it's amazing that it like it takes the like dream like this out of it and actually allows you to experience what reality is. So while, you know, on terms that aren't going to hurt you or them, because it's this 30 day experiment and you're, it's all about contribution and exploring how your gifts can serve them. And so, and then the second thing that happens is, Oh my God, wow, this is even better than I can imagine. I'm contributing so much value that they actually want to bring me on and start paying me. And so time and time again, you know, I've seen one of those two things happen. Well, you know, it's funny you brought up, Charlie, because we've had him here on the show and we've had that exact conversation with him. I'll link it in the show notes for those of you guys listening because he goes into like insane depth of exactly how to do this. So I'll make sure to link that up. And yeah, he's brilliant. One thing I think that you brought up that is absolutely critical that people understand is this dream versus reality mindset. Because I think that it's really easy to think that you want something without really understanding all the things that come with it. I remember somebody somebody put on Facebook the other day, like jokingly said, I want to be screening when I grow up. And I was like, you want to be 35 and living with your parents? I'm like, I want to rethink that one. It's, you know, I think that, you know, I've said this before. I think we judge the package by the wrapping paper because, you know, when we're on social media or any of these platforms, we're presenting the perfect versions of our lives in a lot of ways. And and the thing is that I think that it's really easy, I used to think that my dream job would be to end up at a place like Facebook or Google only to realize I would hate having to go to the same place every day. Totally. Good point there. Well, let's do this. Let's let's start talking about New York Night Owls Domino project and the other things. I mean, one of the things that I love about the way you approach this is that there's nothing that is forever is one of the things that you said. And I really appreciate that. And I want to I want to actually start expanding into that. But so talk to me about how, you know, one, the launch in the creation of New York Night Owls, what went into it, and then, you know, how you brought the lessons from that into each endeavor. Because it seems like it a lot of ways I like in your journey to a wave, like things just keep connecting down the line, totally. And you know, not to be super cliche, but Steve Jobs has that quote, you can't connect the dots looking forward, you can only connect them looking, you know, looking behind at what you've done. And it's amazing now to see like, oh, that's why that happened. Oh, that makes so much sense now. And, you know, like to see how it all intertwines when in the moment, I'm like, where is this going? I am so uncertain. I have no idea like, holy shit, what did I get myself into, then like quickly, like this is the point of being alive. And you know, that whole that whole ebb and flow journey, which I think is forever. But so night owls actually. So great point. And I have never actually thought about this. And you just you just illuminated something for me. When I like one night, I think tweeted that, you know, I was working late at night. Is anyone else working in this guy Allen tweeted back or somehow we had some, you know, exchange on Twitter. And he ended up, he was a designer and developer. And you know, I, it got to the point where I was like, hey, I can find the co-working space because I had a friend of mine who had started Tony Botchikalupo, it started New York, New York City. And I thought, you know, why don't we bring people in late at night that gives them more foot traffic and gives them more exposure. And you know, we can use their space while promoting this idea and bringing people together late at night. And what Allen taught me very quickly was he basically went from idea to website and I felt like two days and went from idea to website in two days to our actual first meetup a week after our first tweet. And he really showed me the power of like MVP, get it done, start it, go. And I was amazed at how quickly we were able to turn around and have the first one and have 35 people show up. And so it was, you know, he really showed me of like, how can we cut out everything that doesn't matter to get this first iteration up to see if it resonates and to see if people are interested and whether or not it has potential is an idea to spread and impact people. And you know, I think he was really huge in and showing me kind of how that process works because, you know, what happened is that the idea to take off and really did catch on. It didn't have like, you know, a clear business model. It wasn't sustainable, sustainable in that sense, but people were really drawn to the idea. They wanted to meet people like them who were crazy enough to work from 9 p.m. till 3 a.m., which was, you know, totally goes against the conventional working hours. And you know, and it really ended up, you know, again, 20, 20 cities in three months. So that was, that was the power that he taught me in that first experience. I love that. And it's, it's funny. I mean, it's almost the exact sort of thought process behind how we brought the instigator experience to life. Like we threw up a landing page and were like, well, let's see if anybody actually wants to come to this thing. And of course, you know, here we are now and, you know, I think as of today when we're recording this, we're almost at 50 paid attendees in full and there's only 60 spots and it started basically as a crazy idea. I think, you know, and Greg Hartl and I've talked about this as well is I think that we really underestimate, we overestimate how long it takes to do something and we underestimate how capable we are of creating something really quickly. Totally. And that's, I think again, it kind of takes us back to something we were talking about earlier. It's that whole conversation around fear and self doubt and moving past it. Yep. And in one thought there, so I know I mentioned earlier kind of the fear of rejection. And so if it's like, if you're self doubting or like, if the root of that is that, oh my gosh, what do people reject me? Like, I was actually working with someone yesterday and I said, okay, so your goal this week is to get rejected five times, go. And we then identified five ways that she could put herself out there and potentially get rejected. And this was less than 24 hours ago and she's already on number three. And it was amazing to see how once she, because like for probably the last three weeks, she hasn't been taking action. And finally we were like, okay, let's dig in. We need to go a little deeper because there's something, you were fully capable of taking action and kicking ass because you've kicked major ass in the past. But like, what's preventing you from taking action now? And you know, there's, there's always like one of two things. The other are intuition and that procrastination is intuitive hesitation that tends to be one thing or it's some deep rooted fear that we're not conscious of. And what we ultimately identified as I was a deep rooted fear, she wasn't conscious of now, which was all around rejection. And so like, how can you turn it into a game for yourself if you're afraid of getting rejected, you're afraid of it not being good enough? It's like, okay, so, you know, Seth, go ahead and ship daily, you know, you know, how can you actually put something every day in order to grow in order to actually, you know, gain confidence in taking action? Yeah. Discover Hydro, the best kept secret in fitness. Hydro is the state of the art at home rower that engages 86% of your muscles delivering the ultimate full body workout in just 20 minutes. From advanced to beginner, Hydro has over 500 classes shot worldwide and taught by Olympians and world-class athletes. 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And so I think this was right when I moved to New York, I started, you know, sharing his stuff and reblogging some of his posts and adding, you know, my perspective to it. And one day he reached out to me, he was like, why don't you come over for tea? And I was like, what? Why is Derek Sivers inviting me over for tea? Okay. So I went over, had tea with him, and he ended up like introducing me to Seth, I think, a week or so later, and I ended up getting tea with Seth, which I think was the most nervous I have ever been in my entire life to meet anyone. I like suddenly like couldn't talk or speak clearly, like it was, it was a really interesting experience and it still, still makes me, so it still makes me like, what does it shutter a little bit? But, you know, he, so that's how I was introduced. And then I really started following Seth Moore and then later that year, the Domino Project was announced. I applied and I was selected for the last round, went in there and then I was, I think there was like 20 of us and then he picked seven of us and I'm still to this day, I'm not sure if Derek actually said, hey, you should, you know, if he like, referred me or actually how that happened, but yeah, that's, that's how it kind of, it all went down. Cool. So talk to me about the things that you did. I mean, a couple of things I'll ask about. One is, you know, the application process for the Domino Project, mainly because I'm always interested in looking, I think that this must have happened and Domino Project was in 2010. Right? If I remember correctly? Yes. Okay. So I remember Seth saying one thing very specifically, he wanted people who weren't looking for a job because he told me this when I interviewed him, he said, yeah, he's like, people who are looking for a job are like people who want to live forever. So I'm curious kind of, you know, what you felt was the sort of stand out of your application? Like what allowed you to stand out? Because I'm sure there are tons of people vying for these opportunities to work with him. And then what you actually did while you were there, like the role that you held in, and then we'll talk about kind of how that's influenced everything going forward. Sure. What stood out of my application? You know, I don't know, to be honest, but I would guess that at this point, I had, you know, made that leap and I had started the New York night off. So we saw that I could spread ideas. It went on to the New York Times and ABC. So he saw that like, I think he probably saw, okay, this girl knows hot and I worked with Apple throughout college. I was very evangelist and I helped bring our university to number three in sales at 467 universities. And so I'm going to guess that it was the combination of those experiences and perhaps how I responded to, because the interview questions, I don't remember them now, but they were, they were so random. It was like something about a turtle and I don't even know, like that like two animals are in a race and who wins or something. And like one was about, would you, if you could, if you had a superpower of flying or being invisible, like they were like, just really random. And so I don't know if, I don't, if it was anything in my responses or just like combination of experience and then, you know, what happened in person. So I'm going to guess it was some of the experiences that I thought he thought could add value to what we were creating, which is ultimately books are about spreading ideas. So perfect. I think that makes us set up to talk a little bit about kind of the work that you did while you're at the domino project and then we'll start getting into a bold academy, your creative process and all the things that like, I'm very, very interested in too. Sure. So my role at domino was I was their chief evangelist and basically my, I was responsible for figuring out how can we spread this idea as far as possible, the idea of the author. And so I built a street team of 50 different online influencers and, you know, people with blog range from like, you know, 10,000, I think some people had up to like 100,000 and it was all about basically giving them a sneak peek into the domino project, giving them some, you know, access to Seth and to the authors and to the ideas and, and, you know, like Stephen Pressfield, like did a whole interview for just the street team and, you know, giving them, making them feel really a part of what we were creating and they would then help us, you know, they were committed to helping us spread the ideas. They got access to the books before everyone else. They got the Kindle, you know, right, right, when we had access to the Kindle, they had access to the Kindle version. And so it was just, you know, for anyone who's passionate about, I mean, people were obsessed with Seth, so many people applied for this and we picked 50 people. But it was for anyone who's passionate about books and ideas and any of Seth's work, you know, this was an opportunity for them to really, you know, feel involved. And so, you know, what would happen is that every, you know, when a book went live, they would, they were committed to, you know, posting an Amazon review, which having 20 Amazon reviews by noon is a good sign, you know, for the book. And then it was other, you know, different digital strategies for the different authors and helping them really figure out, like, how can we get people talking, sharing, and buying the book? It was ultimately what my role is. And then I was also the CEO, which was talk about, like, full circle, Derek Sivers, then ended up becoming one of our authors. And I then was the CEO of his book and it was anything you want. And it just, it was amazing working with him. Very cool. So, a couple of questions around this, around tactics, I mean, you talked about talking, sharing, and getting people to buy, which really, I mean, getting ideas to spread. I think that that's kind of the core of what everybody who's listening to this is trying to accomplish in some form or another, whether they're selling a physical product, whether they're selling services, or, you know, whether they're selling digital goods. I'm curious, you know, what are the lessons that apply, like, you know, to the world that we're living in today in terms of how we make ideas spread, like what, you know, when you're guiding somebody on how they make their ideas spread, how do you, you know, what advice do you have for them? Yeah. I think that the one thing that I'm most passionate about in terms of spreading the idea is the actual message of it, and really nailing that message, and in part, that's the vulnerability and the deep authenticity piece, and getting that person to be comfortable with sharing and allowing themselves to be seen, all sides of them, because that's what makes them human and that's what people can relate to. And so, Derek did an amazing job with that. His book was, you know, "Anything You Want" is basically about 33, I think, I don't know, I think it was 33, some number, mistakes that he had made in the path to entrepreneurship and in the path of selling his business for $30 million. And what I loved is, you know, how open he was, and people, you know, really appreciated that about him. Like, that's one part is actually, like, the message and the content. And the second thing is, you know, well, why do people care about... 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So it's all about the value creation piece, but I'm not super into internet marketing tactics and all of that. Part of it feels unauthentic to me. For example, we reprinted Rolf Wlder Emerson's book Self-Reliance. For that, we ended up doing a 30-day writing challenge where every day a new influencer online shared a writing prompt and it took basically, it was crazy how many people. I think 7,000 people ended up signing up in the first week, it was insane. It was totally unexpected and we took them on this 30-day journey of really getting in touch with their inner self and really bringing the concepts of the book of Rolf Wlder Emerson's book to life and matching that with different influencers and more contemporary people who resonated with the ideals of Rolf Wlder Emerson. One day, something went wrong with one of the prompts going out and Willie, who was in charge of this, was like, "Oh my God, he would get so many of those, where's the prompt today?" And so it's really building something that people wanted and craved and needed and through that, actually then linking to the book, which was this, it was almost something that would inspire their journey of self-reliance. So that's an example. I love it. Beautiful. You're speaking my language and I love that you're about up, you're not a big fan of internet marketing tactics, 'cause neither am I. And this is a big part of why I wanted to have you here, 'cause I knew, just from the way you write, I had a feeling this is kind of what our conversation would be like. So that actually, to me, makes a perfect setup to tying a lot of these sort of threads together. One of the things you said is that the blog is sort of where it ebbs and flows from. And through all of this, speaking of messages, you kind of came to this core idea of redefining ambition and redefining the meaning of it to coming alive. And so a couple of questions around that in terms of one, you look at all these threads and obviously this is not the easiest question to answer, but it seems like you got a lot of clarity from all these different things that you've done. And I love that you said that the blog is sort of where it ebbs and flows, but you're not limited by that one thing. It's not the one and only thing that defines you. You have all these other projects. So two things I'm curious about, one is how you come to or arrive at this mission and message of yours and how other people do it, and then how you escape being defined by that one thing. Like you're not just a blogger, you're not just the CEO of the Bold Academy. Like you have all these projects, which somehow this is a Seth influence to me, hasn't been lost here. Now I can see where it's coming from when I'm talking to you. And it's strange because I think that we have this idea that we're forever defined by this one thing that we do, and as a result, we hang on to it for dear life. Totally. Yeah. And I think to answer your second question first, it's not about what I do. The what I do changes, but the why is super consistent. And so, and this is Simon Sinek, he wrote the book, Start With Why No One Cares Well, and they don't buy or they don't care what you do, they care why you do it. And I think what is also important, but the why has been if you look at anything that I've done, the why I'm doing it always matches and grows and deepens and expands as I'm evolving as a human being. And so, you know, I think at one point it was like to help people realize their full potential. But I was like, no, that's not really it. And I, you know, as I, more and more experiences, it was around human potential, it was around transformation. And then it was actually, so to answer your first question, I met with this woman, Sam Horn, who's brilliant, and she is, she's known as the intrigue expert, and she's actually the mother of a good friend of mine, Andrew Horn. And she has this whole thing called the eyebrows test where like within 10 seconds you can know whether or not someone's interested in your idea by their eyebrows. And if you, you actually go to her website, I think it's intrigue agency.com, you can watch a video of her where she helped someone who, you know, they were like in the medical device field and they could not, for the life of them, explain their message or what the value of the pitch of the product was. And she's, you know, she helped her nail the pitch, which was something like, you know, imagine that, you know, something like there's 1.8 million needles that are used every day. Imagine, I'm not going to say this right, but 1.8 needles used every day of those needles, you know, 80% of them are reused. Did you know that we're perpetuating the very diseases that we're trying to prevent? Well, we have the solution. And this woman ended up raising like millions of millions of dollars of venture capital on the spot because she was able to nail that message in that pitch. And actually I went through a period this summer where I literally like, if I don't have clarity around that message, I literally feel like a lost puppy because I'm such like a, I'm such a message person. And I was having a hard time like really articulating what is it the shift that I'm trying to create. And so I, when I sat down with Sam at the end of October, she took me through like this two-hour process and at the end of it, she was like, Amber, everything for you is about redefining ambition, everything. And that's when we like, we're like, because I thought it was around like a liveness because I really believe, you know, liveness is our natural state. And we have this, you know, years of conditioning and schooling and societal expectations that take us away from our most alive self. But like part of what she's great at is that she has these like seven C's to what makes a message spread, and I think she, I connected to her with Fast Company because I work for them. And she published something about how to like smash her next TED Talk, which gives the basically like these seven C's. And what I think, you know, she really brought with this idea of redefining ambition is that she said it's much more commercially viable than coming alive. And she's like, that can be part of the message, but like if you want to really like everyone wants to be ambitious. So how do you then, you know, help them redefine what ambition is in their own life? And so, you know, it's really been a process and a constant evolving of the message. And I have to say that when I left that meeting, it was like a fire had been lit under me because I finally had that clarity on from getting ahead to coming alive, redefining ambition. And then I began to think about what are really the transformative shifts that I hope to evoke in someone. And you know, it's just been like explosion since. Well, I love this, because to me, you know, one of the things that I think is fascinating about the way you approach this is there's like the central message or central ethos, but everything else that you work on is an expression of that. And that's kind of the way AJ Leon operates too, like, you know, asked, I said, you know, he said, yeah, we do misfit, but he said everything we do is an expression of the misfit ethos. Like they're making T-shirts and they're a design agency, or they're, you know, their next product is a set of ties, like neckties and, and you know, I think that the more that you can get around this. I think that what's cool about this is that it actually is one of the great escapes from this path of mimicry that I keep seeing online is like, to me, how we escape this mimicry epidemic is to get a message or get this ethos down and then express ourselves in different ways. Because I think what's happened as a byproduct of the fact that we get so much advice and, you know, best practices from people online is we just copy it and we don't add our own sort of ingredients into it, whereas once, like, you can do whatever you want with that message. And I think that that has been lost. That's like not nearly as much of part of the conversation in the online world as I think it needs to be totally, which makes me think of so do Roo, who is a CEO of clean and clean is they are, they've pretty much brought the detox main stream. It's a detox program and they're based out of LA, but he is a great writer and I love his little, you know, musings on Facebook. And he wrote something recently that, you know, your calling is not the same as the expression of your calling. And so often we are trying to find our calling and make sure that our life, like, fully is that calling. And he gave a great anecdote about how his calling is really community. And you know, he grew up, he is Indian, he grew up with a family that was really focused on, you know, family and community and bringing people together. And so that's his calling, but he's not like necessarily leading some community. He's, you know, the CEO of this clean product. And through that, he's able to facilitate community and bring people together. So clean ends up being clean. This project is an expression of his calling. And so we often, I see people get caught up in trying to make their calling everything that they do when it's knowing that calling, knowing that message, knowing the why, and then making your life a representation of that. Love it. I think it's genius. I mean, it's funny to think about kind of all the things that I've created this year. Like the instigator experience, you know, I had Simon Sinek here and he said that my why is I'm completely enamored and obsessed with people who are good at unusual things. And then he said, look at it. He said, that's what you do. You find, like, that's the story of our show, you know, hence the reason to name the unmistakable creative. And it's interesting because I look at the instigator experience, I look at the art of being unmistakable. Each one of them is an expression of what I'm trying to put out into the world. So speaking of expression, I want to start talking about, and I want to spend a little bit of time talking about your creative process and your writing because, like I said at the beginning, I mean, to me, you have one of the most poetic, poetic voices on the internet. I mean, everything you write is just beautiful. And I love what you were talking about earlier when you said, you know, we get in the space of judging our words when we're creating. So I'd love for you to talk about sort of your creative process, how you've developed such a compelling voice that stands out above the noise and, you know, what other people can learn from that. Sure. Yeah. Well, I mean, if I look at my writing, I've been writing for a while. Literally, I was a five-year-old girl that had 17 journals in my drawer next to me. And now I'm a 28-year-old woman that has 17 journals on the table next to me. And so it's been a process of consistency and just continuing to get in. For me, it's all been like getting in touch with my inner voice. And so I'd say, you know, in terms of my creative process and my creative rhythm, there's really, I'd say there's probably four things. The first is really showing up. And that's, you know, that's the symbol of scheduling and prioritizing it. If it's not on my calendar, it's not going to get done. And so from when I typically wake up around 9 a.m. till noon, I have nothing on my calendar. And that's when I really do my morning ritual, like, green juice, shot of wheatgrass, I light a fire, I turn music on, so that actually goes into the second thing, which is ambiance and energy, which, like, for me, it's music, candles, fire that I have this cat and this mantra on my fireplace. It's creating the environment that makes me feel alive and then showing up to actually perform the task and prioritizing it. And knowing that, like, you know, Tuesday, Wednesday, and Thursday are typically my super creative days. And so typically I don't schedule any appointments. I'm making a special exception for you. And, you know, and everything goes in rhythm. So like November was in, like, I literally met with close to know people because I was in this hole of finishing basically the final touches on a book that I'm working on. And you know, I really have to focus on that. But now that that I've kind of, you know, closed that chapter, I'm able to open myself up a little more. So that's the showing up piece. And then, you know, the third is really a process of, I think so often people focus on the output, which the output is actual, what the outcome you want is. And I've found that focusing on the input is just as powerful. So it's the ounce of taking in and letting out. And so taking in is like knowing what is going to spark me to write like an ad woman. And I know it's a few things. Like if I am reading a book on psychology or human behavior or I love memoir pieces, I'm going to read something that like sends my, connects all the dots in my brain and makes me like start writing like crazy. And so, you know, it's knowing what really inspires and influences you. And also like I have weekly dates with myself where I love the artist's way, which is a great book for tapping into your highest creative potential. And she has two things in there, one of which is the artist, which is these artist's dates. And so every week I'd take myself like whether it's, you know, go to the moment, check out the art museum, I paint, I, I went on a three course vegan meal. And it was all about engaging my senses. It's all about like, you know, taking myself on dates and allowing myself to really feel inspired. And then, and then I also do morning pages, which is every day I'll write three pages, handwritten. And that's, that's really about getting the ego out of the way and again connecting with that inner wisdom. And really that's, that's a base for me to talk to my doubts. And like all of these characters have showed up in my life now, I have like Mama Jenny who is this like 80 year old black woman who is like my soul sister and like biggest fan. I have no idea like, and then I have Grace who is this like fear voice. And so I've started actually naming these characters because it allows me to have a dialogue with them. And it really helps with my, they're like almost my like guardian angels with my creative process. And then the, the second is letting out, which is, you know, through filling myself up in that way, I'm able to fully let it out and express it. And that's where, you know, Elizabeth, Elizabeth Gilbert talks about this. It's, you know, you know, we aren't, I've really come to believe that like I am not actually doing the writing. I'm a channel for the writing to come through me. And when I get caught up in trying to invent clever words, I don't write authentically. When I just eavesdrop what I'm hearing, like it's like this wave comes over me and I'm able to really fully, you know, express and sometimes I'll get done writing something. And I have like goosebumps. I'm like, I'm like, I have so much energy and like my heart is like getting fast and I have no idea what I just wrote. And then I read it and it's like, you know, where did this come from? So that's, that's part of the process. And then the last is really, you know, getting out of my own way, which is again, talking with the fear voices and just being aware of it and acknowledging them rather than ignoring them or trying to numb them. I don't really even know where to start on commenting on that. I don't think I can touch it because I don't really have anything particularly insightful to say. That's brilliant. It's genius. There are two things that really stood out to me. One is that you create non-beyonds that gives you the energy that you want. And I think that that's really overlooked. I mean, I'm kind of like you, I mean, I have my thousand word a day routine and it makes a world of difference. I think that that's just a craftsman part of it. Like that's how you become better at it by just doing it a lot. I love that you brought up that it's handwritten. That's something, you know, I'm very curious. Like, if I had your handwriting, I'd want to see it all the time. Unfortunately, when I write my hand, I'm like, wow, this is really ugly. So I can't write three pages of my own handwriting, but I'm curious, which is exactly, you're judging yourself. Yeah, no doubt. That John's going to show up in your writing, whether you're conscious of it or not. So I would encourage you to keep writing and to fall in love with your chicken scratch. Let me ask you, is writing by hand like a conscious choice because of, you know, how inundated we are with inputs in the digital world? I mean, because I feel like writing my hand would allow you to tap into your inner voice a lot more. Oh, totally. It's a completely different experience. And it's funny because like if I'm working, I tend to write blog posts on my computer, actually, because there's something about my fingers on the keyboard, but I have this program called Write Room, where basically it looks like a white canvas that takes over my entire screen and I have no idea what's going on behind the computer. And that's when I'm in like inspired, ready to write and express something so that I can share it with the world mode. But the mode of like getting in touch with me and like in that inner wisdom and inner voice, there's something really unique and special about what happens in the written hand. And often the insights that I have in the written hand are what I take to the computer screen. I love it. I think I'm going to have to crack open my moleskin again. I've stopped that habit after, you know, I definitely have done it and I noticed some of my best ideas definitely have come from stuff I've written by hand. I mean, a lot, you know, the instigator experience literally started in my moleskin. So definitely value in that I, you know, no question in my mind. Well, you know, Amber, this has been amazing. I got to say, I am really, really glad we got to have you here. I'm like 98% positive, like actually, if we get 100% positive, we're going to bring you back because I don't think we like, we can do justice to your story in one interview. There's just so much here. It's really mind blowing. And so I'm going to close with my final question, which you've probably heard me ask Nisha and Danielle since there's the interviews you listen to. You know, there's like, I look at the world and, you know, one of the things that I keep seeing is there's a sort of dichotomy between people and the web. People who all have the same resources, but people will accomplish at the level that you do or that, you know, people like Seth do or people like Danielle do. And then the people who don't quite get there. And what I'm curious about is what you think distinguishes those two groups. What are you giving? This would be my question. How are you contributing? What are you giving? Rather than focusing on what you can get or where you need to go, letting go and surrendering to the fact that you have no idea where you're going, because honestly, I could have never imagined or predicted the path that I've come down, never. Like I couldn't have in my imagination come up with what's happened over the last five years in the life that I like, I wouldn't have pictured this. And it's better than what I could have imagined. And it all was focused on focusing on how can I give to others and what do I have to contribute. And if you don't know, to continue to, you know, to find gaps that interest you and to offer your services to close those gaps for other people and to start there. And through that, you know, to build and to build and to build until you have something that, you know, is a full expression of you. Yeah, I love it. I mean, I couldn't agree more. I mean, I think that once you make that shift to, you know, what is it that you're providing for other people. And you know, James Altager talks about this is like, you just give and give and give with no idea what you're going to get back in return. And you don't know when either. But what I can tell you from my own experience is that it'll blow your mind. Totally. Yeah. Well, I think that makes a perfect way to wrap up our conversation. Amber, first up, let me say it's been my absolute pleasure to have you here. You have been fantastic and poetic, which is no surprising at all to me considering your writing. And I can't thank you enough for taking the time to join us and share some of your insights with us. Yeah, absolutely. It's been my pleasure to be here. All right. And for those of you guys listening, as I've mentioned at the beginning of the show, check out our new website, lots of things have probably changed since 2013. Visit the instigator experience.com. We might have a few more tickets left and we will wrap the show with that. Thanks for listening in on another candid conversation at the unmistakable creative. Embrace your inner misfit, express your creative voice. And remember, the goal isn't to live forever, but to create something that will. Let's talk about something that's not always top of mind, but still really important. Life insurance. Why? 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Living for the Question of What You Were Put on the Earth to Do
How Amber Landed Many High Profile Startups as a Clients
The Process of Inquiry Necessary to Identify Underlying Fears
Why You Shouldn’t Judge Yourself Before You Express Yourself
Launching a Co-Working Movement That Spread to 25 Cities
The Ebbs and flows of an incredible journey
Accelerating the Innovator Instead of the Innovation
The Biggest Mistakes You Can Make With Experiments
Why Thinking too Much Keeps You from Taking Action
Key Learnings from the First Launch of the Bold Academy
Give Something and Expecting Nothing in Return
The #1 Question You can Ask Somebody
How to launch a MVP and eliminate the unnecessary
Working as the Chief Evangelist for the The Domino Project
How Your “Why” Continually Evolves
The 3 Key Pieces of Amber’s Creative Process
Why You Have to Setup a Proper Environment for Creating
How Writing by Hand Changes the Experience of Writing