- Welcome back to, well, welcome to my family home. Welcome to my basement. We, a disaster struck, the studio space has been flooded. A pipe burst. The, what are we gonna do? Well, we made the most of it, we scrambled. We put together, we, a little corner of the Hintai Hideaway has been sequestered off for hanging out and having a good time. Can you believe it? What a miracle. - What a miracle. - Noah? Danny Butt-Dubs, I would like your help today in welcoming one of, I can't imagine more, a higher level of esteem that we could have for a guest. This guy is a bright light in my life. He's a warm spot in my heart. He's an incredibly funny fella who just really seems to, seems to glance at things and understand them in a way that makes sense to me in a very fucking funny way. He's a motherfucking zoo legend. He's a co-host of Chrissy Chaos Podcast. He's one of my favorite guys in the entire fucking world. I want you right now, in the factor you're working in, to assault whoever's in charge of safety regulations on the job site. I'm screaming and scaring my children right now for the motherfucking legend himself. Mike, fucking kidding. - I wanna run through a wall, dude. Oh my God. - Let's go, I'll patch it. - I'll patch it, dude, aim for right near the fist. I was like, I had to fix it anyway. - Man, thank you for making the time to come down and see us and this is like kind of an urgent, like get down here quick because you're about to have your second son. - That's right, yeah. - Your time's gonna be kind of-- - A month from today. - A month from today, dude. I'm so fucking happy for you. - I'm excited. What have you done to prepare yourself for the second one? - More or less kind of just panicked, thought through every possibility of death before he gets here once he gets here, all those sort of things. - Yeah, doesn't that suck? Doesn't that suck wondering what would happen if I died? - Yeah. - Yeah, it really does. - Since my wife already seems so overwhelmed, the idea of me not being there to support her. I mean, everybody's dead. - Yeah, what a switch to flip. I don't know about you, but I had a hair trigger. Like, any big disappointment in life, I would just be like, it doesn't matter, I'm gonna kill myself. And then you have kids and you're just like, I have to fight through this with everything I have. (laughing) - Yeah. - I'm gonna grow from this. (laughing) - This is so important for me. (laughing) I'm so lucky to get an experience as kind of rejection and failure. (laughing) - The weathering, yeah, the weathering internal anxiety and your own trauma in an attempt to give your son patience or not those things is a struggle nobody will ever fully understand. - When I'm going through a prolonged period of challenge and I know my family is just like, is he good? That's when I wish a carjacker would cut my throat. (laughing) That's when I wish I would stop at a red light and a guy would hit me in the head with just the heaviest thing he could find and kill me. (laughing) - Or the realizations that these things come from also you, you know, how you were, like any time my son complains or something like that, there is a very natural instinct in me to kick his head off his head. (laughing) Like to literally just punt it directly off his shoulders and that obviously stems from any time I made a noise as a child, that's what my parents did. - Yeah. (laughing) - Oh yeah, oh fuck dude, oh my god. Dude, like my dad's like such a super warm guy and I try to like really, I take so much from him but like there was like a lot of shit I definitely don't like that I try to leave behind him. Whenever I notice myself even veering toward those, I go, "Damn, come on dude, what the fuck are you doing?" That, you looked at him like that? You gave him that glance? That's crazy. (laughing) He's fucking savvy, man. (laughing) The amount of times that I have nothing, like pretty much nothing interactions with my son but then I walk away and convince myself that I've set him on a path of, you know, schedule one narcotics and murder. I then come back to apologize to him and he's since moved on or not even registered as an offense. - Yeah, well you also forget, 'cause you can't relate to it anymore because your parents have absolute authority over you. So it is kind of just like, "Damn, I guess I did fuck up." Whereas like if someone spoke to you like that now, you'd be like, "I'm gonna bite your throat." (laughing) - Exactly. - I don't get, like never. We were just talking about, and I put a pin in it because this is the, I don't know, I wanna explore this, but we were just talking about when couples almost get divorced and they kind of recruit you on one side or the other or you have to step in and like mediate somehow. - Yeah. - And you go, "Oh my," like, "Ah man, "this guy's really going through it "and I'm just trying to be the best friend I possibly can be "and like I can't believe she would treat him that way." That's fucking crazy. And then they stay together. (laughing) You're just like, "Hey!" - Oh, oh good. - Oh, that's so good to see you. - No, I wasn't set off on a test, a compile evidence for, you know, to suit him and then divorce proceeding. (laughing) - Yeah, I didn't help him figure out how to record conversations. (laughing) I was just, I'm just his friend and we play Xbox. - I certainly didn't tell him to visit every lawyer in town so that they can't represent you as a conflict of interest. (laughing) - You're an actor. - That's crazy, I don't know anything about that. - No, it's, no, I didn't. - No, that's crazy. I can look at it if you want. - Yeah, did you bring those devil eggs? (laughing) Tell me something, did you bring those devil eggs? (laughing) Like a prequel? - I got a hankering. - I could probably eat 12, 13 devil eggs right now. - I don't want to talk at all. I just want to eat devil eggs right now, so. (laughing) - For the first 10 minutes, I can't talk 'cause there's devil eggs right now. And then after that, I'm in the bathroom until I get in the car. - Do you have any more paprika? - Any more paprika. - Don't talk to me until I've had my devil eggs. (laughing) - Yeah, so that's just brutal. - Yeah, sure is. - I mean, we were talking though tactic in terms of how to then reintegrate. And you brought up something because I think I was like, I was looking at it all wrong. I thought that there should be just as like an equal and opposite campaign to bring them back in and reintegrate and be like, "Hey, everything's okay and I'm sorry. "I flipped my wig, all that stuff." But I think now that you said it. - Like you gotta make you fall in love with her too. Like don't understand, man. - Exactly. - Let me show you why we stuck why I stayed, dude. - Kinda, right? - Yeah. - So that's my first impulse, or instinct. And then once you said like-- - Dude, the head is crazy. (laughing) The head is fucking out of control, man, okay. I tried. - But how about how I feel? - I mean, how about how I feel a little bit? - But I don't get to get that head. - I don't get head. - Dude, I made an okay Cuban dude. She just sucks, but you still fucking good. (laughing) - I would be more okay with that than just like, look, man, I just don't know how I could get past it and being a co-parent. (laughing) - I'm a new man. - Yeah. I think a lot of dudes also, you know, it's funny because the major complaint in divorce or whatever is that the woman wants to keep her quality of life or whatever. But I know a lot of dudes that also don't get divorced because it would dip their quality of life. Like they don't want to move out of the house that they bought. - They want to move out of the house. - I get it. - They want to pay, you know, I can't afford child support, dude, you know, ugh. I can't afford, you know, alimony or whatever. Oh, you know what I do love though? I love a guy with a terrible alimony story. I love, well, I don't love that for the guy, but if a guy goes like, man, she fucking bent me over the barrel, I go, tell me, oh God, please. Please, and it's not like I'm enjoying the story. Like, yo, dude, I've heard some fucking nightmares from these guys. And I think I, maybe I get a kick out of like, being supportive in that way. Hopefully that's what it is and it's not something you. - No, you love the tea. - No. (laughing) - You're the cos queen, dude. - I'm the best friend of the entire world. - You're rubbing your nipples and going, yeah, how much is it a month? (laughing) - Ugh, that must be so bad for you. Ugh. - But he's so much older. (laughing) - And you didn't, there was no warning, so. - There were, oh man, so she just dragged it out as long as possible. - Oh, that's crazy. (laughing) - And you went back to couples counseling. That's what's really nuts to me. - And that took a waste of a couple months for you. - If you think about it, you know. - And the whole time, you know, she's probably, you know, setting money aside. She's probably like, "Wait, he's ready." - Waiting for an opportunity, oh man. - She was lying inside. - Did you, dude? (laughing) - Real road. - That's not fair, man. - Just think she ripped your heart out. - Did you find a good lawyer? I mean, I know they're expensive. - I know they're, I mean, that alone, you know? But it's like what you spend on that, you kind of like save on like the support and the stuff after, like the cut the-- - And the check you cut the heart. - Yeah, yeah, and what's the time with your kids' worth? You know what I mean? So like, God bless you, man. (laughing) - Good on you. - Keep me updated, dude. I'd love to see you. - Oh, you're back together. Oh, well that's great. - That's all, hey, okay. - Oh, perfect, all right. - Sure. - All right, well you could stay in the house. - That's cool. - Yeah. - I guess go clean the bull, man. - Yeah. - That guard's nice, dude. It's looking nice. - Oh, it's so good to see you. (laughing) - For a bit, I haven't heard anything about you in the last like three months, I don't know. - I don't know. - Good, good, yeah, yeah. All right, well, yeah, let me see what the kids are doing. (laughing) - It's brutal. (laughing) - I'm not fully joining it 'cause I don't wanna get a detail that would tip off who I'm talking about. - I know. (laughing) - And I've, and I've seen enough of them that this is all apocryphal. I guess that if I'm using that word right, this is a mishmash. I mean, it always ends up being the same story. - Totally. - And I am, and I'm saying, dude, I know, I know probably 40% of our listeners are in the boat right now. And it's like, this is me, this is my compassion. I see you guys. I understand you. (laughing) You know? (laughing) - Rest in peace. - My brothers. My brothers. God bless you. Just, you know. Keep trudging forward. - Just think about the fucking kids, man. Well, dude, I talk about this all the time, but I know a guy who got put through the ringer like that, and he ended up being schizophrenic and murdered the baby's mom. - Oh yeah, at the walla. - The baby mama. Yeah, he killed a lady at a custody exchange and inside of a walla. - Oh, wow. - Inside of a walla. - So was the divorce the event that triggered what would otherwise be dormant? - So based on what I read in the case, and what I know about the guy, in hindsight, he did have some pretty unpredictable behaviors, but I thought he was just like a funny guy. - Sure, yeah. - He spent a lot of time together. - I mean, that is the tough thing. - And I was just like, this guy, guess me. (laughing) - He was a funny guy, liar. - Yeah. - What if we were just crazy guys together, dude? - I bounced around a couple different friend groups all through high school, and I still keep touching with some people here and there, but I never really totally fit in anywhere. And then me and my boy, Brian Kennedy, just fucking locked in and chilled for the last couple years. - Oh yeah. - And that brutal when it's also the guy whose behavior makes you feel normal. - Yeah, we're like, okay, well this guy at least is out there, he's doing his thing, so I'm good. - Yeah, I'm just like, okay. Like, yeah, maybe I fucking test people's boundaries, but like, he's almost out of sight. (laughing) - He's a chef, I'm a cook. - Yeah. (laughing) - He's doing something, you need training for that, you know? - Yeah, so they got divorced. And I think it was just a normal custody battle. Like, I don't know that anything crazy went on, but he just went like, it sent him over the edge. - To the point where he did it publicly. - Publicly. - In front of the kids. - In front of the kids. - Now he left the kid. He left the kid. - And he seemed like a fucking loving father. - Wasn't it a custody exchange? - Yes, he left the kid. - Wasn't he a loving dad. - Oh, he dropped the kid off and then pulled up. - Yeah, but I don't know. Well, I, you know, I've, I mean, that's, that's just, you know, that's just crazy. - A lot of over the hogies, dude. - That's crazy. - I think, I think about that, though. - Yeah, it's all over the brawlers. That's a hogs, dude. Oh, man. - Apple printers are ruined. (laughing) - I think about the sizzlies. - He just made me bullfrog. (laughing) - What were you saying you think about? - I really think about that. Like, if there is an event like that, that would set me off on that pack, you know, on that path. Where it's like, oh, is there just something that could trip something that I'm unaware of? Right now. - I'm assuming everyone has something. - Yeah, no. - So even if it's like so unlikely and so like deep, and you know, deeply rooted, everyone's got something that I think will make them, or maybe they don't and it's, you know. - Yeah. - Stay on top of that. - There's a couple of things that could drive me to just make my own rules. - What do you, what do you, what do you think? - Harm to my kid. - Oh yeah. - That's like, you know, even my wife, I'd get over that. - You know what? I think. - Yeah, without seeking retribution. - When, yeah, someone physically harming my child, that'll make me spazz. - Yeah. - But someone being like rude to my wife, that makes me go crazy. - Yeah. - That makes me like really lash out, and part of it is I know that she gets charged up when I overreact. (laughing) And by the way, if you ever like, if you ever annoy a guy's wife and he starts getting like aggressive, just let him get it out, you don't have to fight. - Yeah. - If you just back down, he doesn't want to fight. - No. - He doesn't want to fight. - He's kind of jerking off. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - It's just angry masturbation. - Yeah, let him freak out. And like, you know, honestly, if you're a good dude, first of all, you bothered someone's wife. Admit that. - Yeah. - Play the part a little bit. - Yeah. - You know what I mean? Just be like, hey man, you know what I mean for a dude. - Yeah. - Just be like, that's your apology. - Control your girl. - Don't. - Oh, dude. - And then let me go. - Make up biggest heels in. - Set for like 90 seconds and be like, "You're right dude." And then walk away. - Yeah. - My bad. Sorry, ma'am. I'll be out here. - Oh my God. You hit it with a sorry, ma'am. And then you wink at the dude. It's like, that's my homie for the rest of my life. - You meet up with him. - I was like, "Hey man, that was really cool of you." I would really appreciate that. - This is the new task rabbit. Me and to your girl. She fell up. Make you look like a hero while also allowing you to vent your frustration. Yeah. And honestly, dude, if we just start linking up online and planning it out, I think we can get pretty efficient with it. We just, 'cause believe me, I bet I have an innate ability to just bother people's wives. - Yes. - But by the third style mustache, they'll be like, "What's with this guy following us?" (all laughing) - 3P customers. - You only get one. And honestly, she doesn't want more than one. After it becomes a pattern, it's like she might start swinging. - Yeah. - Once she gets comfortable in it, she might try, like she's gonna try stuff out. - What is it about me? - I think it's about the fuck I think I can do. - Don't try me. People try me all the time. (all laughing) - And she's getting into the fun world mode sometimes where it's just that paranoid delusion that the world is completely after you. And then I just snap it like a barista for no reason. - Yeah. Yeah, this lines up perfectly. Nothing's going my way because everyone's out to get me. (all laughing) And you go, "No, people are just so selfish "that I'm kind of an afterthought." - Mm-hmm. - Yeah, I get it. - I know. - See, I wish I had you around just to kind of diffuse it, even in that, that just like makes me feel like such a wiener for even being mad in the first place. - I know. - Do you think I don't get mad? People think I don't get mad at stuff. I get mad all the time. I fucking, I internally freak out. And then I go, "No, I'm probably at least half wrong here." - Really? - Yeah. - And no part of you feels like that's then compiling somewhere like in a mad bank that's gonna come out. - Well, well, I certainly hope not. (all laughing) That's why I try to like squeeze out. I suck all the air out of my brain with video games so that there's no room for anything new. So I have a hard time learning new things, but at the same time, it's like, I don't really have any, I'm looking around for somewhere to put all the bad stuff and... - Well, and you do jiu jitsu. - Sorry. - Yeah, I do jiu jitsu. So I'm constantly humbled and emasculated. - Yeah. - And my kids and my wife see it a lot. And that's really tough. That's really tough. You just feel like that guy is better than me at this and I tried really hard. - I've actually never considered that to have your kids watch you lose a fight. - Yeah, and organize fight. - You get up and you're huffing and puffing in your faces red and your hair's completely saturated with sweat and you're just like, "Are you guys getting there?" I'm just, "All right, I'm gonna get a couple more in real quick." (all laughing) You're like, stretching out your elbow 'cause he got cranked. She's like, "Nah, it's just an old thing." It's not that that guy just beat me up so bad that it hurts really bad. But I'm gonna complain about it in the car. (all laughing) I'm gonna complain about it in the car with no music playing. (all laughing) - Yeah, shit sucks dude. (all laughing) - I love it. - Yeah. - Do you have any conversations with them about it? - You're the kids. - Like about how you're still the alpha no matter what or do you-- - Ooh, no, I mean, I'd be lying to them. - Yeah, it's clear that you're not-- - I know, but do you see my impulse? Like, I'm such a weak person that my impulse is still to paint a false narrative, even though the evidence says not the wrong way. - Yeah, I mean, you gotta get creative with that though. - Mm. - And that's very much like dad losing a fight at the carnival and being like, "You fucking sucker punch me." - Yeah, exactly. - If you didn't fucking sneak me, I probably would've fucking knocked him out. I would've fucking jawed him and he'd be on the ground, but he fucking got me from behind, dude, or something. I don't even know, man. - You fucking asshole. - That's where the task ground can come in hand too. You need a guy to come up and be kind of annoying that you can yell at in front of your kids. - Yeah. - Yeah. - Like, "Hey." - Yeah. - I still got it, 'cause I knew it. - Oh, dude, Mary Jo thought she got, I bought a knife when I was in Arizona because Mary Jo was convinced that she was being followed. - Really? - Yeah, well, we read-- - 'Cause M.J. Schizophrenic, does she have a gang stalker? (laughing) - I win, obviously that's my assumption. - I do my sword to the table, there it is. - Sorry, my Kershaw. We flew into Phoenix, and we drove up to Sedona, and it was the best ever, obviously, but we stopped at Walmart to get like, you know, hotel supplies and shit like that, and we she'd read on the way down there that Phoenix is a hub for human trafficking. - Oh, no. - Yeah, so she was like, keep an eye on the door of the ladies' room. I'm going to the bathroom, I don't want to get human trafficked. And I said, "Yeah, no problem." And obviously, I just went back looking at my phone, but when she came back out, I was just like, all clear, right? (laughing) So we're in Walmart, and she's walking around shit, not the ladies' section, but like the travel toothpaste and shit, and these two, and let's just, I'm ballparking this, Mexican guys. - The bald twins from Breaking Bad? - Oh. - Yeah. - And they're slinking around, there's two of them, one of them's carrying a basket, and I'm separated from her because I'm probably looking for, I don't know, whatever I need, and maybe I'm an aisle or two over, and she comes up to me with the cart, and she's like, "I think two guys just started following me, and I turned around and came back, and they didn't see us together." But she told me where she thought they were, and I went and I peeked around an aisle, and they were definitely pretty weird looking. And they saw her before they saw me, and they started walking toward her. - Wow. - Yeah. And then I just planted myself next to her, and they kinda just kept it moving. Dude, they went through the entire store. They were walking around aisle to aisle, not going too far. - Wow. - And then they left with almost nothing in the basket. - Damn. - Yeah. - Holy shit. - They were up and down every aisle, and if I couldn't leave Mary Jo's side, they would get closer. - Wow. - And I'm saying maybe coincidence may be imagined it, but I went over to the knife counter, and I said, "Ma'am." I said, "Ma'am, I have exactly $40 to spend the whole night." I'll take the Kershaw, please. - Ow. - Yeah. - Did part, I mean, did Mary Jo take that as a compliment? - Oh, yeah, dude, she gets so charged when I do that kind of thing. - Oh, not even that. - No being followed. - As a fact of being followed as a traffic. - No, she was so scared. - She was so scared. (laughing) - She was very scared. - Yeah. - And she's a pretty sturdy lady mentally. She yaps at people. She is very much like a small dog, where any offense that she takes, she'll pop off. And this was a moment where she was just like, "I'm worried right now." And I was just like, "Whoa." So I took it pretty seriously. - Damn. - So we could say, "Yeah, so I fucking, just know, I got that thing on me, everywhere I go forever." - I used to think it was funny. - What a big deal. I got my Rosco on. (laughing) - You know, you think, I grab her all the time. I'm a big self-defense guy. I could tussle in the street, but then I was like, "There's two dudes here. All they need to do is grab her and run. My backer, it's pretty bad." I better fucking get. I better get strapped up, you know. - Is there anything worse than having a nagging injury when a potential conflict arises? - There's nothing worse than you. That's when you feel like prey. You feel like a deer. - Yeah, yeah. - But then maybe you'll have like pregnant lady disease, you know, where you'll get like really strong 'cause of the adrenaline. - Yeah, but then the whole time, you're just like, "I better not fight too hard because it's going back, so it's going to pop off." - Yeah. - When I did the pinata fight at Gangfest, I tried to, I clinched a fat guy and I tried to shove him. And I twisted it and I threw my back out and I couldn't walk for weeks. - Damn. (laughs) - So anyway, I got the thing on me and now I'm all about EDC. Well, starting right now rather, we got, oh, by the way, part of this is also the battle jackets subreddit. No, put me onto this. And this is EDC adjacent. - Yeah. - Because there is a level of expression to it. - Okay, yeah, yeah. - It's all expression actually, but I'm unfamiliar with all of this. - Okay, cool. - So these dudes are just like, rate the jacket, dude. - And they make jackets and vests for when they go to concerts? - Yeah, and just kicking it around, right? - This is the retarded guy equivalent of ladies dressing off as the different eras of Taylor Swift, for the eras for it. This is what they do. - By the way, this is going to be me at Gangfest with my new sewing machine, bro. (all laughing) Everybody's merch has a quilt. (all laughing) - Is my cannibal corpse fitted hat? I embroidered myself. Yeah, this dude made a blanket. - I have a Sam talent satchel. (all laughing) - Yeah, I made this myself. - I didn't even buy it. (all laughing) - Finished for now, my dungeon synth black metal jacket. And it's like, yo, what's more black metal than the fucking sewing dummy? (all laughing) This is white metal. (all laughing) - Yeah, but it's like-- - That's pretty fucking brutal stuff. - That's awesome. - That's badass. - Yeah, I would feel like a, I mean, this is almost glam. - Yeah, yes. - I'd feel like such a tool in this. (all laughing) - Dude, I would feel so bad. - I would feel like a fucking super Nova millionaire. (all laughing) - I'd feel very comfortable at the Renaissance fair. (all laughing) Outside of that, it almost like anywhere else, it. - Yeah. - But Noah has a good, oh, first of all, by the way. Hello, everybody. We want to share my second vest, sewed on East Drummond jacket, waiting for new patches. They were on way to me. (all laughing) - Opinions? (all laughing) - And it's like, okay, well, it's a start. (all laughing) - Seems pretty basic. - Cannabis corpse. (all laughing) - Acid wish, that's cool. - Yeah, I mean, waiting for new patches, it's like, all right, well, maybe hold off, I'm posting. - Oh, the back's cool though. No, they love to show the DIY-- - Working progress. - That's the VIP. They love the WIP on this stuff. It's all about the process. - Yeah, I guess, so this one's like, yeah, you know, I could see where you're going with it. It kind of, you know-- - I mean, it kind of looks like Arby's flair though. - I was gonna say, man, yeah. It's just a linear, it just goes down. - This could have been suspenders. It doesn't need to be a shirt. (all laughing) But still cool. Hey, great job. - Yeah, nice. - WIP. - Advice needed. So far, I have ghost, and was that Lemmy? - Yeah. Oh, and then Metallica on the back. Oh, no, those-- - Not even on yet. - Not even on yet. - This is so fucking, this is normy. Normy Battle Jacket. Get out of here. - What do you think Ilu-V-T sounds like? - Some fucking-- - I'm gonna say-- - Gaelic rock bullshit. - Yeah. (all laughing) - Yeah, it's gonna be Evanescence meets drop kickmer. - Yeah. (all laughing) - Yeah, all right, Kevin. Welcome to, you know, stuff to this guy. (all laughing) Hey, man, it seems like you're new to stuff. And welcome. So happy to have you. I've been into stuff for a very long time. It's so cool. Yo, everyone's so nice. Yeah. (all laughing) - Welcome, dude. So happy to have you here at Stuff. This is just a shirt. - Yeah. - Oh, yeah, so-- - Nothing else. - That's a long sleeve tee. (all laughing) - A patch that's too big. What to do? So I got the back patch for my first battle vest, and it's slightly too large for my vest. What should I do? Cut it or leave it as it is. I really have no idea. (all laughing) And I just wanted to pull the group and see what would be the most brutal thing with a V instead of a U that I could do with this patch that's too big. - Is it hardcore if the patch is dangling from the bottom a little? - Oh, that's not bad. - That's not bad. - That's not bad. - I think that's cool. You can-- (all laughing) - More like a cape. - More like a cape. (all laughing) - Yeah, I like this answer bulk up and get a bigger vest. (all laughing) - Yeah, get yourself to about 225. I mean, that's the assumption that this guy's not fat. My first jacket, symmetrical build. - Ooh, okay. - Cool. There we go. - So we've got, I mean, Metallica, Foo Fighters? Smashing pumpkins? - Tool? - Okay. (all laughing) You know? - Foo Fighters seems a bit soft for that, right? - Yeah, I guarantee there's like a Linux patch on here somewhere or like some sort of other tech company that he got at like a conference. Three days grace, okay. - It's like, okay. - Pink Floyd, the offspring, and Limpiskit. - Carl Jan. - Hold on, let's rage. - Lincoln Park. - Lightning McQueen with the rest of your head. - Yeah, true. (all laughing) - Limpiskit, this is the definition of stuff. He has the Tampa Bay, like name both of us. - This guy's into stuff. - This guy loves stuff. - I know a stuff guy when I see one. For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms, Ephesians 612. - I could see whoever wrote that wearing a blockbuster vest. (all laughing) - That might be a Bible verse. (all laughing) - Hold on, let's check Ephesians 612 real quick. - Where we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places. - Seems odd to quote the Bible. - And change it with that. He kind of paraphrase, yeah, you know, you get the gist. - Oh God, some ash, is he writes his own book? - Mm-hmm, come on. (all laughing) - Damn Lincoln Park. - Yes, mastodon shine down. - Jesus Christ. - Either. (all laughing) Florida. - Tampa Bay Lightning. - No, he has a double Tampa Bay Lightning. - Okay, cool. Yeah, so Ryan Shainer would be into this kind of stuff. - He has battle jackets. - Yeah, he is a battle jacket. (all laughing) He was born for this. So what I'm getting to, all right, this one's a mess and I like that. They should be kind of a fucking mess. - Yeah, I like the pins and kind of how you can see it was cut out from shirts. - Yeah, I hope it smells bad. - Definitely does. - It has to smell bad. It should be on kind of a chubby guy with bad hair. - Yeah. - If I have my choice, you know, I mean, this guy stinks. This guy fucking smells. - Mm-hmm. - This guy smells so fucking bad. - Do you think most of the, are things worn underneath these? - Unfortunately, probably black t-shirt under these. - I like a white beater. - Yeah, and if it's up to me, I think you get a little bit chubby and hopefully you've got the kind of hairy nipples. And you just rock this kind of thing and stink up to. - The stomach up too. - Stink up the bar. Yeah, oh, dude, the belly rocker. - Yeah. - Oh, yeah. Yeah, and you just stink. - If I was committed to being large, I would get that kind of like bizarre from D12, like that giant stomach tattoo. - Yeah, yeah. - Just the centerpiece. - A prominent belly. - Yeah. - Yeah, because, you know, as is, I don't really want to draw anyone's attention to my midsection. - Right, right. - But if you have a piece of art, then you'll feel more confident about me. - I guess so. - I love a belly tattoo. - I went up right there. - Yeah, you're at the perfect don't gain or lose anything. - I know, right here it'd be sick. - Yeah. - Well, I got my chest tattooed and then right before I got my chest tattooed, my artist did a giant, like gorilla stomach tattooed on a big fat guy and it just looked so sick. - Yeah. - And ever since then I was like, that's the move. It's so cool. - Yeah, I wonder if that hurts. - So bad. - Yeah. - This was like a shocking, like right here, really hurt my own. - I think that's probably on one of the hotspots. - Yeah, there's not a lot of pain. - I didn't realize it's on bone. - Yeah. - Like your veins. - I'm making any noises, did you go? - I really like. (laughing) - Everyone's in a while. - No, I'm good, I'm good, I'm good, I'm good, I'm good. - Anytime you try to talk to me and I have to answer, I'd have to like get the first syllable out with a gulp. (laughing) This is a bill actually. - Yeah. - No, they book it before you. (laughing) - People asking you how you book your gigs on the road? - Yeah. (laughing) - You're a legend, doesn't it? - I didn't get a cut. - After that. - It's 10%. - It's gonna be lower. - We're busy and have to save time anywhere we can. So factor is a godsend. They're no mess, no prep meals take just two minutes. Throw one in a skillet or in the microwave and you're all set. 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(laughing) - But Noah said that there was a battle jacket on here where they go, first of all, this sucks, dude. Square patches, all square patches is crazy. - Yeah. - Finished for now. It's like, no, dude, it's not. (laughing) Start over. First of all, now anyone that doesn't have a lightning queen is kind of a poser to me. (laughing) - Get that out of here. - I mean, the back looks better than the front. But the front's a fucking nightmare, dude. - The front looks like a shitty car with too many bumper stickers. - Yeah. - It's not thought out at all. - Yeah, and then it's like, come on, dude. Oh, fuck pop though, I like that. I hate fucking pop, dude. (laughing) - When you fucking hate pop, I'm one of the biggest queefs on earth. - You love pop. - You pop. - You love fucking pop, dude. - I really can get down to some pop. - Bro, it's like, it's like, meaningless, like, fluff made for the masses, though, dude. - I know. (laughing) - And I'm, I'm, it's targeted moron. And you're like fucking dancing and shit. (laughing) - I was the guy, I like, I didn't. - You like stuff that's like easy to listen to in a group and like be around people or whatever? - Do you wanna know how much you would have hated me in high school, is I did the entire dance break to dirty pop, NSYNC's dirty pop in front of the whole school at my junior year homecoming. - Did it kill though? - Yeah, sure did. - Oh, it despised you. - It sure did, it's like Jesus Christ. - Yeah. - I would have been like, anyone can make everybody like them and impress them. It's fucking loser shit. (laughing) I like cool stuff that I have to listen to alone because it's unpleasant. (laughing) - Because people don't like it when you play it for them. - People can't stand when I get in the fucking car holding a tape. (laughing) I mean, that's me with that minute. - That's what's cool. - That happened to me on the way to New York, Japan, and then now you may be turned off to get off the ox. - I'm kicked you off the ox. - I'm kicked me off the ox, he hated me. - No. - He hated me and then Dylan was there too and Dylan was really egging him on being like, "Dude, it's so fucking bad." He was like, "Why did you play on an American song dickhead?" - What were you showing them? - Just like, "Cool shit, dude, I don't know. "I was just showing them the coolest shit." - What were you showing them? - I don't know, I had a bunch of stuff. I don't like, well, it was a lot of like, like, "I didn't play a song from like 1927." (laughing) - They were like, "Dude, you fucking suck." - Your radio show is good, but you can be an ox punisher for sure. - For sure. - You go, "This song's funny." And you go, "Yeah, I was kind of trying to feel nice though." (laughing) Yeah, thanks, yeah, I guess that is pretty funny. I thought he did that in that song. Anything that kind of like, is soothing? (laughing) - Yeah, I think that was my problem. - Well, 'cause I was like the, I was going no sing-alongs for a little bit. And I think that was really killing people. (laughing) - What do you mean by no sing-alongs? - I don't know, it's just songs that they weren't singing along to. I could have sang along. - No, my God. - But they were. - To the fucking, you're playing them songs that they base the ice cream truck music off of. - Yeah, I know, like literally. - They're just like, "This is the original." (laughing) - Yeah, sounds good on a xylophone, but check it out with the entire band, yeah. - Yeah, I'm sure, I'm sure. - With a full breath, man. - Aw, man, I hit like a, I hit a, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah. - That would have been crazy, that would have been crazy. That's what I'm saying, that would have been good. - There's that dancing on the audio recording. (laughing) - I threw like a 20 minute, like Fela Kootie song on. (laughing) They didn't like it, but it's so good. Technically, it's so good. (laughing) It raps, he's so talented. (laughing) - And don't re-litigate it now. - Well, this is exactly what was going on in the car. I just kept going, no, he's so talented. You guys are re-tards, please. - Wow, that's nuts. - Well, I think that's why I like pop those. I never had you, or, like, I've never had somebody show me deep cuts when I was a kid. - Yeah. - Then I was putting on like, like filter, and I was putting on like-- - Filter. - Yeah. - Hey, man, nice shot. (laughing) - I was playing, I was playing like, like, all sort of good. - Do you think black guys wanna hear "Hey, man, nice shot"? - Well, I was trying to get, I was trying to get Rob, at least on my side. But then Rob, oh man, the nail in the coffin was, I went to go talk to Rob, and I saw that you put-- - Like, dude, you're playing fucking Zilter for Naeem, and probably sounded like a guy coming for half of it. Rob was listening to a podcast on his headphones in the back seat, so that's when I really gave it up. I was like, I can't see it. - Jesus Christ, man. - Yeah, it really made me feel bad. - What a worse lawyer. (laughing) - I was just trying to have fun. I was just trying to say, guys, I just want you to check out this cool stuff that I like. - I get that impulse, obviously. - Yeah. - You know, work on it, you know? - I know. (laughing) - Think about who's receiving it. - I know, and then we put on Big Booty Mix for like the last hour, and that was a hit. - Yeah. - Yeah, I'm sorry, guys. That was on me. - Jesus fucking Christ. - And that was on me, and I'm sorry. - I wanna get back to the battle jacket that you told me about, no, over the guy. - That one's cool, actually. - I kinda like that. - It's from like, I think, three days ago, right? - Whoa, look at the Pokemon badge. - Yeah, hell yeah. - Look at the Pokemon red cover. - That's sick. - This is a good one, see. - Yeah, my favorite one so far. - And I like how the squares kind of come into each other and stuff, like it looks more like a collage, and I just slapped on. - Yeah, I do. You're 100% right, the overlap of the patches on here. This is beautiful. Great job. How do we get out of this? - He used the space well. - Yeah, great job. I wanna get down to the guy who said that bikers keep beating his ass. (laughing) - It's like one or two to keep going. - No, that's a Ryan Shainer. - That looks like Ryan Shainer is wearing that. (laughing) - How's it going, dude? Pretty good, man. Everyone's a fucking idiot. - Cool, cool, cool, cool, cool. - Pretty cool, 'cause everyone's a fucking jackass. (laughing) - Okay, this is a guy who got straight A's and maybe had greasy hair, but it's like, come on, man. Get off of the grid. - Yeah, he was like a goth via Linus. - Yeah, but nice patches. Okay, all right, what the hell? How do I use these studs? Ooh, a leather, ooh, now that is something. Everything's black and red. This is great, this is great. Cohesion, oh, you got buttons. Could you ever be a leather jacket guy? - In a million trillion years. - No. - Could you ever be a leather jacket that I own is my grandfather's from the '40s. And I wore that like eighth grade day. - You know what style it is? - It's a long trench kind of mid-thigh thing. It almost looks like a blazer more than it looks like. It's definitely not that. - Like a SS lieutenant? - Like something what David Boreana's wore on Buffy. - Okay. - So big similar to that. - Let me see. - That's insane that I had that name on my tongue, dude. - I didn't even say Angel who we played. - Oh, like this kind of, oh, yeah. - Yeah, not quite the biker thing, but like that, like that exactly. - So that's, yeah, that's nuts. That's a promo shot. You're not even thinking like an episode that's burned into your mind. You're just like, I was standing in line of the supermarket for a long time once and I just stared at this fucking thing. - That's kind of a, what would you describe that as? 'Cause it's definitely not, there's no attitude or edge. This is kind of like a touch of class. This is almost, you know, refined, but. - I used to wear it, I used to wear it when I dressed up for like varsity basketball games. Like when we would have to wear a sweater with a tie. - Wait, did they film you guys walking into the arena in high school? - No, but we would have to wear like our clothes. (laughing) - They definitely do that right now. They definitely do it. - There's dudes who film every pickup game they play and upload it and like highlight it and shit. - Yep, there was. - Without joke. - I think that a full series. - Without jokes. - No, no, no, no, that was incredible. There's dudes who are not editing. They go, here's my entire session and you're gonna see here, I check here and I'm trying to like gauge his movements. I'm watching his hands and then here, I try to cross him up, he takes it from me. You know what I mean? - That's so good. - I love that. - They do it in Jiu Jitsu too. Every activity has a guy that uploads the entire thing front to back and commentates it and it's just like, I, maybe, maybe I can get sucked down his rabbit hole, but like dude, - I feel like I should get deeper into that world. That's like more earnest content that I think I should give a chance to more than like highlight shit. - Yeah, for as much as you play basketball and how funny it is that you're still like playing leagues and stuff, you should just be constantly. - I'm done by the way. I can't. (laughing) - That's even better. - I cannot play competitive. - It's funnier than to be doing it for pick-up. (laughing) - Well, yeah. All right, I'll send you some links. I'll show you some guys that you should kind of emulate and do it in a very funny way. I can't believe you pulled this jacket. (laughing) That's fucking crazy dude. (laughing) - David Borianna. - I really nuts. You're just fucking crazy. That's really crazy, dude. (laughing) (laughing) - It's like the exact year I had it too. That's why. - You didn't watch Buffy when Angel lost his soul because he had a moment of happiness once he came inside Sarah Michelle Geller. - No, but that did tell me on it a little bit. - Yeah. Good show. - There he is. Why did this biker fucking check be? (laughing) And he says, mods delete this if it's not allowed, but why did this biker fucking check me, dude? And that's the back, I see an arrow, bands. - This literally looks like chip chippers in this jacket. (laughing) - Death master or devil master. Better, better. - And then, oh, yeah, that's cool. August Burns Red, hmm, crown royal, that's neat, dude. - A patch that says patch. - White out? (laughing) I mean, I can get into this. - I kinda like the white out, yeah, the white out's cool. - I mean, honestly, so he's looking for an explanation for why this biker fucking checked him. And let's see what people are saying. - I don't like the patch that says patch. - Where is that at? Oh, right there. - Oh, yeah, that stinks. - Yeah. - Oz. - It's like, stop being fucking ironic. You're wearing a battle vest. - Okay, so no explanation. He just posted the picture, the top comment is, I'm with the rest of the comments, either you met some unfortunate, motorist. - No, he wrote a thing, I thought. - Maybe. - It's under the, under the phone. Oh, where is it? - It's not there. Oh, wait, there it is. Jesus Christ, I'm sorry. I'm sorry. - The audio listeners are gonna love this. So I was hoping to wait a while before I posted my battle vest, but this fucking asshole checked me and ran me out of my hometown last night. (laughing) Because my vest is really disrespectful to the biker world. And he was threatening me with gang violence, saying stuff like, you don't want me to press this button. The only reason I was able to leave is because my friends got in the way of the guy that wasn't letting me leave that was trying to take my battle vest. I looked this up everywhere, and all I can gather is that the diamond patch may, the diamond patches may have been a problem, except for the fact that the diamond patches, I do, wait. The diamond patches I have do not have 1% around them, as you can see. And maybe my back patch could be interpreted as sporting colors, except for the fact that it's fucking yin-yang. - Idiot. - I'm just so lost on why this happened. Somebody please explained if this was justified or not. And what I should do if this happens again, because I'm sure as fuck, not letting someone take my battle vest. (laughing) - So, is this guy being ironic? Or do you think this really happened? - I think this is genuine. - Well, here's the thing. And this is right now, this is what I really sink my teeth into on Reddit. I assume every post is fake, but they all get earnest responses and comments. - Yeah. - And so it's like, regardless of whether or not this is real, a guy had to put himself in that headspace and go, I'm with the rest of the comments. Either you met some unfortunate MC prospect right after he and his girlfriend got in their millionth argument, or you met someone who has a fundamental misunderstanding of subculture, like some mid-air collision of poserdom and stolen valor. Bro. - Okay. - Man. - I might start taking people's colors. (laughing) If I see battle vest, I would start taking colors. (laughing) - You can't wear this, dude. - I mean, I might just start going to dive bars and walking out with like 10 or 11 patches on my arms. (laughing) - You start wearing them around a necklace? - I'm going to have four vests on each arm. Yeah. - You've got to start wearing the patches around a necklace. (laughing) - Like their teeth. - Yeah. - It's like a citizen's arrest. - We're going to run you out of town. - You start tattooing tally marks on your arm. (laughing) - Well, damn. Well, just, I know we've got a battle. I've met you guys in real life. I've been to Scankfest. We've got battle vest guys. - 100%. - Let me just say thank you for your service out there. - They're safe. And that was all just a segue into the world of EDC. So you're not familiar with EDC. - I'm not, no. - It's every day, Carrie. - Okay. - And it is basically, you know, what's your kit? You know, what do you carry with you every day? - Oh. - How scrappy are you? - You know what I mean? - Well, it's not even necessarily about weapons. - No, it's like strapped in. - It literally can be, yeah. It could be anything. Like this guy, this is a very, what a great example this is. Here's this guy's watch, a knife, a Swiss Army knife. Probably a mechanical pencil that if you asked him, he would go, this is the only mechanical pencil you should ever buy. - Yeah. (laughing) - And I'll tell you why. And it's because check this out. Listen to this, ready? You hear that? It's dual action, okay? - It's got a bump stock. - When the phrase, yeah. (laughing) The recoil is crazy. - Yeah, and then a Field Notes book, which he's probably never written anything in, aside from like, you know. - Swastic, as well. (laughing) It's just doodling. (laughing) - But this is a perfect example. - Wow. - So, all right. So you, you. - I have a bag though. Like I have a sling bag. - What do you keep it? - I mean, I have a hard cover way too big to be of everyday use comedy notebook. I have then like little, like I don't know if you have like a mothership notebook and then like it's little UFOs that you then take out with you into the world. - I have incomplete notes in an app. - Yeah. I mean, I have a notebook that I carry with me and I mostly just stare at it and stress and I go, I'll come back to this later. (laughing) And I'd never leave it anywhere. - Yeah. - Yeah. - I mean, I've lost so much, but I have those. - Okay, so that's good. That makes sense for you, EDC. - I have like, I have a lot of edibles in my bag kind of at all times. - Yeah. - And then don't know if they're crucial for survival, but if you got the space, okay? - Yeah. - I mean, for an everyday thing, I do have kind of an emergency break glass if you need an idiot. - Then it counts. - You had to. - Dragalizer, yeah. So I have that and then I guess keys, cell phone and pens. - Now, how are your keys arranged is an important question. - So I've just for the first time in my life, what is it called? Kind of like taking... - You've gotten rid of, you dekeed. - Dude, I didn't know you could like, I forgot that you could kind of change your life to make it easier. I just, I forgot. I just live life and I'm like, well, that's tough. I guess I deserve that. And then I just keep going doing that. My keychain looked like a fucking king rat. Like it had so many different, different like... - Dude, things just that weren't really even connected to other keys, most of the keys, you know, I'm like, well, maybe that'll just, you know, open up a box that has $20. - I don't want to yell. If I get rid of this, then I'll remember what it was for someday. - Exactly, exactly. But, and I still kept that. Like the keys that I got rid of, they're still in my drawer just in case. - Ooh, is it a key drawer? - It's, I mean, it might as well be. - I mean, how much, because I have a drawer, right now if you told me if you handed me a key and said, hold onto this and it wasn't going on my keychain, I know with the drawer, I would put it in, man oh man. It's got bills, it's got chords, it's got probably guitar picks, it's got loose change, it's probably got some Social Security cards, you know. (laughing) - Yeah, I have what drawer with like, way too many official documents kind of loosely strewn about. - A broken Nintendo Switch controller, I'm sure is in there, but yeah, that's my key drawer. - An old vape pen. - Do you have any solutions to like keys or do you have like a special wallet or anything like that? - I have air tags in my wallet and I have an air tag attached to my keys. - That's smart. - Because I, I mean, dude, it's necessary every day. - Normal, normal wallet, like this is my wallet. - Yeah, mine's really fat, I think. - I've had this, Mary Jo got me this, probably 20 years ago, I don't know. Yeah, normal, no, I think, I think young people will consider us boomers for home. - Yeah, totally. I mean, I had, if there's any numbers on that, can you block it? (laughing) I had one of those ridge wallets, but that like kept banging me in the dick, like from my pocket guy, yeah. And it kept like cornering my ball. - That's the thing with ball shorts though. - Yeah, like you try to do anything with your phone in your pocket and your one nut is getting me dragged. - Yeah. - What do you do? - So you, you're a back pocket. - Well, I, I, I'm a fanny pack guy. - Yes. - But now even that feels bulky. So now I'm, I'm getting pretty serious. I might, I might see if I can get like an aftermarket cargo pocket and just, 'cause I like all my shorts. - Wait, it's like, like how a chicken or wedding - My battle shorts. - I'm gonna sew on a cargo, cargo pocket. - I'm like an embroider went on for you. (laughing) - Yeah, I'm gonna, I'm gonna get your car wrapped. I'm gonna get my shorts car-goed. - Yes. - You know, don't even, dude, don't even get it for your shorts, get it for your life. - Get it for the thigh. - Yes. - Just a thigh cargo short, cargo pocket. - Like a wire crop. - Yeah. - Like a hookers business. (laughing) - You have it on the car. (laughing) - My shorts are so short. - I can't do that. (laughing) - Yeah, for the guy that wears five inch shorts, but wants to carry more. - Oh my God. - True, yeah. - It's not about carrying more. It's about carrying the essential. - Officially. - Yes. (laughing) - All right, so all right, so we put a pin in that. I don't know, maybe thigh holster, maybe aftermarket cargo pocket. - Yeah. - But yeah, I've got eye drops. I've got wallet, I've got keys. I've got, I keep a pair of disposable contacts in my pouch, just in case like I have an opportunity to go swimming or something. - Yeah. (laughing) - That's real. (laughing) - I had it, I had it justified to assume myself until just now, there was a day where I was like, we might go swimming today. And I put two contact lenses, dailies, disposables in my, in my fanny pack. And I went, okay. And I still keep them all, like a fucking condom. - You said, "Hey genius." - Like I've been going to swim in something, dude. - That is the most beautiful hope to carry in your heart with you at all times, dude. Like I'm just going through my life and who fucking knows what I'm gonna do a cannonball. (laughing) - Who fucking knows? - Yeah. - I love that. - Man. - It's very optimistic. - Thank you. - Yeah. (laughing) - Is it a chapstick? I don't carry a timepiece. - No, I don't either. - I wonder if there's any justification for it aside from if you're like a watch guy. I don't know. Can they do something? - If you're a diver. (laughing) - You can go to crazy, yeah. - Yeah, I can tell time under water, I guess. You can also just leave it on the dock. - No, and I guess we're so far down. You got to time yourself. - Oh yeah, you got to have time. - Well, and air pressure. And I guess all the watches that what they can do now, if you're monitoring your health on a really intense level, then I guess that can do it. But just a basic. - You see a lot of these guys have a analog timepiece, and I'm wondering-- - They can stay off their phones. - They probably stay off their phones, but they probably also just like, this is for if there's like a EMP event. If there's a detonation in the lower atmosphere and that interferes with electronics, I'll still know what time it is. - I do have a knife actually in my car. I have a fish knife. It's got to be on your person at all times, even when you're in restaurants. Especially when you're in restaurants. - Yeah, what if someone tries to traffic you? - Yeah. - What'd you go take a piss? And a guy goes, nice dick. Why don't you come with me? - Get away from me. - I'd probably-- - Get away from me. - Okay. - No funny business, mister. Hey now, I have a trout. 'Cause here's the thing, I can't really talk tough to people. Like I am a, whoa, hold on, what are you doing? But if you say, now hang on a second, and you're holding this, that's a completely different. You don't get your voice down here. You can't, I bet you do. - You'll get away from me. - Yeah. - That's my wife. (laughing) - I need her. Stop it. Help. You see this? Apologize to her now. - Don't disrespect my wife. - I sing. (laughing) Apologize. (laughing) - No, I can't, I don't have a tough inflection. - Yeah. - The lady said no. (laughing) - But I can, you know, I can wolverine this thing out. - Yeah. - And say, hey, hey buddy. - But that's also because you're like, your voice doesn't even have to be the scary thing. Like I, I come from like a point where I have to make, I'm like a blowfish. Like I have to make my voice as scary as possible because what comes behind that, it doesn't matter. You know, the anger is the facade. - You have kind of like a refined guy with his shit together head. (laughing) - If you match the rest of like your wardrobe and your body to your head, I think people would just listen to you. - Okay. Fuck dude, is that it? Is that what's missing? - Yeah. - I started laughing really hard at that until it kind of hurt my feelings. And then it also, because it's right, you're exactly, I know it is. And it's right, but I don't see myself as that. - I see myself as a free spirit like you. - I think clearly it's not that way. - No, that is your spirit, your head. You have a head. - But I have a business head. - Yeah, I mean, it's an advantage, I think. You know what I mean? You don't have to fucking buy into it. You just gotta turn it on. - Yeah. - Should I wear a suit? - No, there's a thing. - Maybe. (laughing) - That could be cool, it would work. - I'd go, whoa, that guy, that guy. - Yeah, it's timeless, there you go. - Maybe he doesn't work in a cool office, but he's cool in the office. - Okay. (laughing) - Mm, yeah. - The Buffy Leather jacket, dude. (laughing) - Buffy Leather jacket. - Yeah. - And you can just talk like yourself. And people will go like, oh, all right, man, this guy's probably got a lot of money. (laughing) Dude, I should go back to his full wardrobe just those like, the Comedy Central presents Black Slack with the square toe of his lip on. - Way too big, yeah. - Lock, dude. This is probably closer to what I do, except phone instead of watch. And guess what? You look at this and you go, someone thought to share this? - Mm-hmm. - I'm sure the belt is like, yeah, this is nylon, okay? I chose nylon because check this out. And then he does something with it. Turn a kit. And you go, cool, awesome, man. - It also strains Lakewater. (laughing) - Like, wow. - Yeah, check this out. The lens on the watch, actually, if you position that with the sun, it'll boil. I catch the rainwater in the belt. I boil the belt with the watch. - Yeah. - And when I get really hungry, I'll kill myself with the knife. (laughing) - Then I start cutting off toes. - It's a little smoky. - I start eating myself. (laughing) - That's the ultimate on live, and the producers are watching your guys start to eat himself. They have to be like, I don't know. - Hey, buddy. - The doctors are pretty worried and you're just like, I'm getting all the calories I need, you're holding them. - I'm fine. (laughing) - You've only got a flare gun in the knife. I'm, check the calories. I'm good. - You're in the middle of cutting off a toe. (laughing) - Yeah, sorry. - No, I'm kinda killing you. - You make TV, man. I survive or I get back in the helicopter. - I'm feeling outta here. - You feel weird. - We are not the same. (laughing) - Thanks. I'll let you know when I'm ready. - I used to have a flash drive on me. - Was that how it felt? - Really? - Yeah. - What did I do to the guy? - Oh, yeah. Oh my God. Yeah. I couldn't go anywhere without a fucking flash drive. - Yeah. - A thumb drive. That was already too full, and I lost the good one. So I'm carrying the one that's like kind of finicky. - Totally. It takes forever to transfer files, but I remember the, I think my first one was like a 30 megabyte or something like that. - Yeah. - Wow. - Dude, I rode the wave from fucking 512 megabyte up to, you know. - Terabytes, bro. I lived the whole fucking thing, man. I was there. I was there, dude. (laughing) - I was running the fucking staples to grab those fucking things. - Yeah. - And that was me in the trenches. - I read the company's staple cards just buying up hard drives. - I was the one bugging the WB Mason guy for a free promotional thumb drive. (laughing) That was me. - I walked a tech surf. - Damn, check out this dude's EDC. First of all, oh boy, let me read the cat. This might be, yeah, paramedic EDC. - Nice. - Now, here's the thing. Do you know about paramedics? Have you ever met one? - Recently. I got a hit by a car. - I thought that they were doctor race car drivers. - Mm-hmm. No, they're doctor diner waiters. (laughing) - That's what they are. They have no bedside manner. - And not only do they not a bedside manner, they don't have like the credentials to really back it up the attitude. - Oh, no, they have like an associate's degree, maybe. - No, they have six weeks of EMT school and some of them have to take it two and three times. (groaning) - And like the series seven. - It's, I, it's dude. It's dudes who couldn't pass the police fitness exam. The waiting list to become a firefighter was too long. I'll just do this until Fire Department opens up and it's just like, whoa, man, EMT school's harder than I thought. (laughing) - You gotta know bones. (laughing) - So, and then, and then very quickly they switch into this guy. First of all, check out the fucking, - Those look like sick BMX clubs. - Yeah, oh yeah, absolutely, yeah. It's like, the exterior of the knuckles are protected. Some of those door frames are pretty tight when you're carrying a gurney and you can pinch your knuckles. Safety goggles, you know, in case they started spraying on you, this is my key chain with an elastic thing that I got from my mom who's a nurse and a pharmaceutical company dropped it off and now I have it and the tactical. - Nice. - Emergency casualty game. (laughing) - The tactical EMT guy with biohazard badge and the ax body spray. (laughing) - Just to, you know, cover up the knuckles smell. - It's necessary to throw. - Yeah, I mean, you never know when you're gonna be fucking pulling a hot lady out of a fire or a Narcanning one. (laughing) - You never know when you're gonna be Narcanning in a seven. (laughing) - Hey, so does this have me a little time? - Yes, I saved you. - It's like Mad Max. You're playing with the hand? - Witness me, witness me bitch. - Let's see, let's check out the stickers in the water bottle, which he definitely spikes with, you know, a flavored powder. - It's got Propel in it, the Gatorade water. (laughing) - Oh, here's my stethoscope. Here's my, what's this? Well, I hope he's from a different company because I'm seeing a lot of German looking stuff. And honestly, in your first responders, that's usually pretty troubling. - When they're German. - Yeah, when you start seeing German stuff, and they're just like, well, I'm just the big history buff. (laughing) Yeah, maybe he's a comedian. He's got two notebooks. One, the paramedic pocket guide. - Oh. - What's in here? Credentials, I guess. Ooh, a little bit of rope. Tourniquet, maybe? - Yeah. - Kinda looks like it. - Pepper spray, repelling. I don't know what that is. - Is that a bowl? - Red pepper drill. - Is this a bowl? - It kind of looks like one, right? - That's a bowl. (laughing) - I guess, cool. - I spoke with you guys. - Any idea what this is, Noah? - No. - It looks like a wedge. That's a wedge, like a doorstop. - Or a tow tag. - And then, I don't know what that is. - Is it either? - Dan, is it cool if a lot of your stuff, like people don't know what it is? 'Cause first of all, this is too bulky. Maybe, oh yeah, he is European. - That's in the bag though. - He's European, look. - Eww. - There you go. - Yeah, I guess it all does fit in the bag. Now, is it cool if people can't identify what you have? 'Cause then you get, now it's a conversation piece. - Yeah. - I don't know. - Now I think that is part of the point. - No, actually. (laughing) - I don't know. - It's a conversation starter, but then also it's kind of like, okay, you're pretentious. - Totally, and I think it's also supposed to show just how different his life is than ours. Like, we are not the same. I have to be prepared for life and death at all times. - Yeah, you're just a guy. - You got key for the kid. - But like, I think, I think your EDC should be a personal expression though. - Yeah, it is, for sure. - It should be, you know, like your battle vest. - Pop off if you can. - It should show people who you are. And that's the, so this, starting today, I am all my EDC shit. I will get my myself buttoned up, and I will know that I'm ready for any fucking situation. (laughing) - Best carabiner for Geeze. (laughing) - It's just like, yeah, pretty much whatever the brewery tour gave you at the end. (laughing) - Yeah, it was like, whatever it gave you at the end. - Yeah, I mean, you're not climbing with it, so. - Those are your local piece of shop. - Oh, man. - Yeah, oh, the, the, the. - The Nipex. - The Nipex, Cobra, Ex-S, sheath. Oh, they love wet leather. - Yeah. - What can you possibly be doing with that? - Ooh, three knives. - That's cool. - How many knives do you usually carry? I have three today. - Why do you need three? - Why does that one not retractable or have a sheath? - That's a tiny samurai sword. - Yeah, that's for-- - That's a tiny katana. - That's for the fence. This is for survival, this is for stopping someone else from surviving. - Yeah, yeah. - And then this is just for doodads or whatever. - Yeah, go check this out, it's like a plane. - I think this was army. (all laughing) - You're in a plane. - Ooh. (all laughing) - That one's actually a comb. (all laughing) - Yeah, this was army knives are so out, dude. Instead, you know who I really like? This is my, I know guns and they just have guns. (all laughing) I was scrolled right by. Is that a steam deck? - Yes. - Is that a switch? It's an internal switch. - That's a switch, that's a switch and a gun and a knife. - It's all switches. - It's all switches. (all laughing) - Damn, the phone, the phone with the cover showing. So you can see it's all black, dude. He's black and red till he dies. - Yeah, yeah, this guy's pretty fucking cool. - He loves the Falcons. - Well, yeah, there's Altoid container EDC guys and I think those are like... - I want to start carrying a Zippo. My sister and my brother-in-law got me a nice Zippo for my birthday and I just never have filled it or started carrying it and I feel like that's gotta be a... - These guys love Zippos. These guys love Zippos. They love flint rods. This guy's a butter knife. I'm assuming this is a, oh, this is a joke. (all laughing) - He's got a gun and his daughter's stuff. (all laughing) - It's like great, dude. Very cool, man. - You fucking weirdo. - That's tactile. That's good. You can hide that anywhere. Now that's too much. - Bag and pocket dump. There we go. - This is in in the EDC. (all laughing) - Yeah, this, so... Man, this guy's ready to flee the country, two vapes. (all laughing) Dude, I mean, a bag of tongue scrapers. (all laughing) - Do you guys want to see everything I own? - Not the inhaler. - Oh, I do have those teeth picks in my car. - Yeah. - Is that a thermometer? - EDC. - Yeah. - Yeah, throw that in there. - Big Sharpie, that's cool. - Pick set. - Yeah, so, uh... - Tongue scrape every day is wild. - Hit me with your EDC tips, guys. Friends at home, watching. I, I'm dying. This is it. This is my new phase. I'm announcing, I'm announcing my new phase. My new phase is, I'm gonna be a remarkable EDC guy. And, you know, I'm gonna contribute to the community. I'm gonna be involved. Get ready. - Are you gonna post? - Yeah, get ready to see me on the subreddit. Making real posts. - Oh, I can't wait. - And, you know, does any tips point in the right direction? - I'm gonna follow along. - Danny just gave me the high sign. We have to take a break and we'll flip over. You can, you can join us over at patreon.com/timbutterly. We're gonna keep hanging out. I didn't even get a chance to tell you about my fucking trip to the desert. (laughing) The whole, the whole thing I wanted to talk about, completely, I mean, I saw some remarkable stuff and some cool things and I haven't, I haven't reflected enough yet. So probably, I probably thought some dumb stuff was cool and that'll be funny. And so I, Mike, I can't thank you enough for making the right down here to hang out. - This is the best. - I'm having a great time. - Thank you so much, man. Just to instruct them to follow you on the way out here. - Oh, yeah. Yeah, so I have specials on YouTube already but I got another one coming out in September. I think it's gonna come out on Krista Stefano's YouTube page. He produced it. So be on the lookout for that. I'm on Chrissy Chaos as well. And then all tour dates are at mikecannoncomedy.com doing a big fall tour with Chicago, Nashville, Detroit, Vegas for Skankfest, which is gonna be awesome and a ton more, so Mikecannoncomedy. - Yeah, I can wait for Skankfest, buddy. - Oh, yeah, me too. - You should come see me on the road also if you're watching this. You should consider coming to see me. Check out my dates on TimButterly.com. Starting in mid-August, I'm gonna be pretty busy and I'm so excited. I can't wait to see all your stupid fucking faces and bother you for weed. I'm coming to August 23rd and 24th. I'm in Louisville, Kentucky. And then the next day on the 25th, I'm in Columbus, Ohio. A couple of weeks after that, I'm starting a little New England run. I'll be in Portland, Maine on September 12th, Boston on the 13th and New Britain, Connecticut on the 14th. A couple of weeks after that, I'll be in Janesville, Wisconsin shortly thereafter. I'll be in Tacoma, Washington with plenty more. We're gonna keep them rolling in. So follow me on social medias at TimButterly on everything and I think that's all the information that's all the urgent stuff I needed to convey. If that's okay with everybody, no, I'm dying to see full. No, thank you first of all for pivoting. Obviously that's not your normal medium. - Yeah, I'm covered in chalk, but it's okay. We're good. It's all part of it. - I mean, what a professional. Let us know what you're working with here. - I'm making an EDC, or not an EDC, a fucking battle jacket. - Yeah. - I'm gonna be a fat guy with a battle jacket. So I gotta fill in the battle jacket stuff. - Ooh, I can't wait to see what you pick. - That's great. - Is this gonna be your representations on a battle jacket, or are you kind of creating a guy? - I'm creating a guy. - Ooh, I can't wait to meet him. - I'm creating a guy. - Hell yeah, patreon.com/TimButterly, meet us over there. Thanks guys. - Bye.
