Cloak and Dagger Broadcasts

Quiet Please - Kill Me Again

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Duration:: 26m
Broadcast on:: 15 Jul 2024
Audio Format:: mp3

Well, it sounds like the tenants hit your rental property sure know how to throw a great party. You just wish they wouldn't throw so many parties on Tuesdays until 4 AM. And if they could pay the rent on time, that would be nice too. Being a landlord can be stressful, but it doesn't have to be. Let renters warehouse handle the hard part of property management for you, like finding quality tenants you can trust. Renters warehouse manages thousands of single-family homes and specializes in locating reliable tenants at the right price for your property, usually in a matter of days. Because if your tenant defaults for any reason, they'll replace them for free up to 18 months under their tenant warranty program. From rent collection to maintenance coordination, their best-in-class property management professionals do it all. All for one flat, monthly fee. Get a free rental price analysis at renterswarehouse.com to find out how much your home can rent for. That's renterswarehouse.com or call 303-974-9444 to speak to a rent estate advisor today. What's next? At Moss Adams, that question inspires us to help people and their businesses strategically define and claim their future. As one of America's leading accounting, consulting and wealth management firms, our collaborative approach creates solutions for your unique business needs. We leverage industry-focused insights with the collective technical resources of our firm to elevate your performance. Uncover opportunity and move upward at MossAtoms.com. Quiet, please. Quiet, please. Quiet, please, for tonight is called, "Kill Me Again." You ever hear anybody say I'd sell my soul for this, that or the other? Not very many people really mean it when they say it. Unfortunately, I did, and I found a buyer. Well, nothing very exciting, no crashes of thunder, no red fire. Now, the doorbell just rang, and when I opened the door, there was a worried little looking man standing there. I said, "Well?" "I understand you have some property for sale, Mr. Davis." "Who are you?" "I'm Mr. Hellman, Mr. Davis. May I come in?" "Mr. Hellman came in. Mr. Hellman sat down nervously. Mr. Hellman didn't have much time, it appeared, but Mr. Hellman had the million dollars in currency that I had named as my price for my soul, and he also had a bill of sale neatly typed in triplicates." "No, it didn't seem odd at all. That's why I suggest you never mention aloud that you'd be willing to dispose of your own immortal soul for this, that or the other thing. Oh, Mr. Hellman gets around, and he's a mighty sharp business man for always apparent nervousness." "So, Mr. Hellman got up and went to the door." "Well, good night, Mr. Davis, it's a pleasure to do business with you, sir." "Thank you, Mr. Hellman." "I'll be seeing you as soon as." "Hey, close the door, Mr. Hellman." "But Mr. Hellman had gone on out, and me with the million dollars in currency, will I? I hopped the door to close it fast. Not fast enough, though. Well, there were two men there with the revolvers. I didn't get a chance to say a word, they both fired, and I saw him run down the hallway with my beautiful new million dollars, and I tried to yell, but I couldn't, but I turned around. I was lying on the floor all bloody." "Mr. Hellman spoke to my ear." "Well, I, yes, you can come along now, Mr. Davis. I kept them my bargain, now you keep yours." "So, that's how come I was sitting a little while later in a little dark room with Mr. Hellman. There wasn't much light in there. What light there was seem to come from way up high near the ceiling, sort of flickered, like the light that comes from a fireplace. Mr. Hellman was sitting at a desk looking at me, and his eyes seemed to dart all around the room, so maybe that was from the flictering light. He didn't say anything for a long while, but sat there and met his fingernails. And then he spoke." "Well, well, well, Mr. Davis." "This is a dirty trick you pulled on me." "The contract didn't say anything about you're keeping the money, Mr. Davis." "Oh, yes, but I assume." "Now, now, now, Mr. Davis, you must never assume things when there's a written contract. You should have read it." "Well, I hadn't any idea you were going to pull this kind of a trick." "Most people who deal with me haven't." "Well, I won't stand for it." "You won't." "Oh, I won't." "If you can't do anything about it." "Well, that contract wouldn't hold up in a court of law." "What? Court of law." "Well, I... Now, now, come, come, come, come, Mr. Davis, you're going to be here a long, long time. And you might just as well get used to doing, as I say." "Well, what do I have to do then?" "Yes, well, I must confess I acted rather hastily in your case." "But you mean you're going to let me out of here then?" "Oh, my, no, no, no." "But I haven't done anything." "Well, that's what's got me puzzled, Mr. Davis, my, my, my, my, why don't I think?" "Take what?" "Well, I may as well confess. You see most of the people who make an arrangement with me about their souls, as you did, are due to come here anyway, eventually." "I don't get it." "I mean, they've already committed a crime or a sin or whatever you like enough to qualify them for our little institution, and so the transaction really doesn't mean anything except to expedite their arrival. Do you see?" "You mean you cheat 'em, you'll chip 'em." "Oh, come, come, now, Mr. Davis, business is business." "Oh, I suppose so, but what's that got to do with me?" "Great deal, Mr. Davis, in your soul belongs to me according to the terms of our contract, you see. But you haven't committed any sins according to my records, so you're in a very strange position." "I don't get it." "Why, you see, you're a regular inmate now, Mr. Davis, but I transcend you out to the fire department or any of the other departments, like the rest of our guests, because you're not qualified. Yes, it's very, very disgusting." "Yes, it must be." "Yes, it's very, very, very, very disgusting. I am really ashamed of myself." "I feel awful sorry for you, Mr. Hellman." "Dear me, I've been running this place for so long, and I've never had a slip up before. Believe me, if this gets around, Mr. Davis promised me one thing." "What?" "And promised me you'll never say a word about this to anybody around here." "Well, that depends on how I'm treated, Mr. Hellman." "Oh, dear, I knew you'd take advantage of me." "Well, I'm a businessman too, Mr. Hellman." "Dear, dear, dear, dear." "You said that you never had a slip up before?" "Never, never, never once, never once in there, never so many years, never, never once." "Well, how about Dante? He was down here." "Dante." "Dante, oh, oh, you've been that Italian fellow with the long road." "Well, reap the leaves on his hands." "Oh, yes, yes. I remember him. I remember him quite well. This place was a mess for weeks after he was here." "How do you let him out?" "I had to. He was a visitor. You see, he was alive." "I see." "And you know what that man did? He wrote a book about this place, and what that book did to business. Why do you know business fell off 13 percent for the very first year?" "That's awful, Mr. Hellman." "You have no idea what I went through." "I, uh, fell, uh, writer, too." "Mr. Davis, allow me to call your attention to the fact that I have a very special department in this place for writing for, uh, very, very special department. Yes, to remind me to show you some day the lovely little apartment in there that I fixed up especially for Mr. Dante." "Well, isn't he here?" "That's sissy. He didn't have the basic ordinary human decency to afford me an opportunity to welcome him back. Not Mr. Dante. He lived an exemplary life and died full of virtue, but coward." "Well, well, well." "Yes, but that doesn't, uh, solve my problem with you." "I can wait, Mr. Hellman." "Yes, well, uh, doubtless I'll find something for you to do, Mr. Davis, and in the meantime just feel free to go anywhere. I'll let you know when I want you." "You won't let me out there." "Oh, dear, no, no, no, Mr. Davis, dear, no, business is business. It's the same here as everywhere else. Yes, it's the very devil, isn't it, Mr. Davis?" "Yes, well, uh, bye-bye, uh, I'll see you later, and don't get into any, Mr." "Now I felt quite perky as I wandered around, Mr. Hellman's remarkable institution. Well, it wouldn't. I'd had a pretty tough time on that. There were plenty of times when I wondered where the next meal was coming from. Well, I had had a million dollars, even if it was for only a few minutes, and there aren't very many people in the world that can say that. Then, now, here I was, a non-paying, permanent guest, and Mr. Hellman himself admitted he couldn't do anything about it. Just that alone was enough to make me feel pretty smart, and, yeah, pretty smug. Especially when I catch Mr. Hellman's expression occasionally held a corner of an eye. "You know, Mr. Hellman's a very hard person to outwit. Well, people have been trying to do it ever since, uh, well, ever since. And now, look who did it. Little old Joe Davis, the guy that never had a nickel, the guy that sold his soul and made a profit on it." "Well, uh, I was smart to do my laughing early." "No, Mr. Hellman's ingenious. When I think of some of the things he had people doing, well, well, well, I'd seen enough of a place to decide that I was a very, very lucky fella, and also the wish I never made this deal. So, I can say definitely that I wasn't happy. Mr. Hellman saw that, too. Dandy, talk to me about it. "Mr. Davis, you're not happy." "No, I'm not, Mr. Hellman." "Well, I'm not either." "Yes, but you can do something about it." "I can." "You're a disturbing influence here." "Well, I can't help that. You brought me here?" "You're ruining the morale here." "Oh!" "Well, you keep telling my staff members how you outsmarted me on this deal." "No, I don't. I tell them how you outsmarted you, sir." "Well, I want you to stop it." "Uh, Mr. Hellman, I'm an unwilling guest here, you know." "Don't I know it?" "Well, why don't you do something about it?" "I want you to stop carrying tales about me or--or what, Mr. Hellman?" "Well, Mr. Davis, you want to get out of here, don't you?" "I certainly do." "Now, Mr. Davis, if I let you out of here, would you stop being mean to me?" "Oh, trying to bribe me, huh?" "Yes, I am, Mr. Davis, on a purely business basis, if you understand." "Okay." "Okay, what's the basis?" "Well, of course, I should expect something in return." "Well, I said I wouldn't talk about you if you'd let me out." "You have to do a little better than that." "Well, uh, anything within reason." "Good. And now, uh, see here, I, uh, do have a contract with you, don't I?" "If I forget that." "Yes, quite. Quite we--we mustn't forget it. Now, Mr. Davis, tell me, have you ever considered murder?" "Murder." "Exactly." "No, I've never considered murder, Mr. Hellman. And if you think you're going to suck me into committing a crime so you can put me out there with the other boys and girls, uh--" "Oh, no, Mr. Hellman, really, uh, I did think you were smarter than that. Why, even after the way you messed up this other deal?" "Don't rub it in, Miss. Well, I mean--" "You see, I could give you leads. All you'd have to do is appear on Earth, and sort of, uh, uh, stick around. You're giving these various people an opportunity to murder you, and--and then, well, you see, they automatically qualify for a place here." "Well, I got murdered once, thank you." "You're quite welcome, I'm sure. Now, what about it? It solves both our problems, doesn't it?" "Well, what happens after I get murdered?" "Oh, you've come back here until I have another assignment for you." "I--come back here." "Of course, I want this to be a home for you, Mr. Davis." "No." "You have a--a very nice, comfortable apartment, Mr. Davis, and no work whatsoever to do, you know?" "Yeah, I don't like it, though." "Why, Mr. Davis, you might have to give up your comfortable apartment, you know, if you're not cooperative." "Oh, threatening me, huh?" "No, no, no, no, no, but the shortage, you know." "You kicked me out the cold." "Oh, not the cold, dear, dear, no, Mr. Davis, not the cold." "Well, I don't like it." "Mr. Davis, and do you remember what the strawberry shortcake tastes like?" "Oh, gosh." "Oh, gosh, do you remember the blue sky with white, greasy clouds floating in it on on a summer afternoon?" "Green grass trees?" "Remember the sound of dogs barking at me." "I'm going swimming in the ocean, and so beautiful, white snow." "Rae, lovely, lovely, cool rain at the end of a hot office." "A new suit of clothes, apple pie." "This means a music with a beautiful girl by going fishing a tomahawk lake." "Radio, movie, oh, oh my, I shouldn't have said that." "Cool, glass of beer." "What do you say, Mr. Davis?" "Mr. Hellman, you've sold a bill of good." "Just sign here, Mr. Davis." "Why?" "Why, Mr. Davis, you're back so quick." "Why, Donna, I never had a chance. Is this the kind of a deed you made with me?" "I'm done, Hellman." "Oh, Mr. Davis, but you did, beautiful." "I just opened the door and the guy plugged me." "No, he was much tastier than I expected." "I didn't get a chance to do a thing, just bang, bang." "That's all I'm saying. Hello, Mr. Hellman." "That's too bad." "Well, I haven't been gone 15 minutes." "Well, you've got excellent results. He'll be down here before you know it." "And you and him will have a good many laughs over it." "Before I give him his assignments." "Well, now, shall we try again, Mr. Davis?" "We shall not." "Oh, but Mr. Davis, I'm afraid you'll have to." "What?" "Why?" "You signed an agreement, Mr. Davis." "My, my, my, will you never learn to read things before you signed." "Well, this time it wasn't so bad." "For a while." "Well, I was smart." "I never went near the fella for two months." "Then I lived like a king." "I will say this, Mr. Hellman." "He is generous with an expensive cop." "Of course, some people say that all the money there is belongs to him." "But, well, they're willing to take it regardless." "Mr. Hellman's all right about it, he didn't rush me." "And I'd begun to wonder how long I could get away with it." "Well, I'd say I had a lot of money." "I went a lot of places, putting this thing off as long as I could." "I was having fun." "I got ideas." "Well, you see, I'd met this girl." "Oh, sure, a girl comes into any story sooner or later." "I never had a girl in my previous life before, Mr. Hellman, so I..." "I was nuts about this one." "I remember I got very sentimental with her." "Kind of forgot, I guess." "It was a beautiful night with a million stars." "We'd been dancing on an outdoor terrace." "I really did forget who I was." "Sure is a beautiful night, isn't it?" "Just reach up and touch it." "Make you feel romantic?" "Kind." "Me, too." "Let's stay out here a while." "I was hoping you'd see that." "You were, why?" "Don't you know?" "Because it's cool." "No." "Because you're tired dancing?" "No." "Why?" "You." "Me?" "Yes." "I love you." "Oh, no, look, don't be ridiculous." "No, I'm not, I love you." "Oh, listen, dear." "I love you." "Listen," I said. "Well?" "Look, you're nice to be around with and you spend your money and you take me places and I am kind of fun with you." "That's as far as it goes." "Well, no, no, no, skip it." "Why do you have to be so serious?" "No, spoil everything." "But I thought you--" "I know what you thought." "You thought I was falling for you." "Well, I'm not." "Darling." "I want to marry you." "Marry, you." "Why, you old wolf." "Marry, you." "Nolly, please listen to me." "Look, Pops, I don't want to be mean to you, but after all, you're old enough to be my father." "I don't want to hear any more about it." "No, you want to go back in and dance?" "You want to get me a taxi and let me go home." "And as she stood there laughing at me, I--" "I thought I heard someone else laughing and sounded like Mr. Hellman." "You're all wasting time, Mr. Darius." "Better get to work, hadn't you?" "So I went to see my prospect." "Dad, it wasn't very hard feeling the way I did." "I moved enough to be her father, am I?" "That wasn't very difficult to taught him into drawing a revolver." "So I got murdered for the third time, and Mr. Hellman had a new inmate." "Yeah, it didn't hurt very much after all." "And I--" "Well, I wondered how that girl felt about it." "Well, I had a nice apartment down there in Mr. Hellman's place, but I didn't get much time to use it." "That's one thing you want to remember about making a bargain with Mr. Hellman." "Well, the bargain part of it is always on his side." "I brought in 26 new customers." "Well, and I thought it was time for a vacation." "Well, after all, were you trying getting murdered 26 times?" "Well, I had scars all over me." "So I spoke to Mr. Hellman. Mr. Hellman I said I need a vacation." "I've been working awful hard, Mr. Hellman, and I'm worn out." "Well, Mr. Hellman, I said I've got so there isn't any place left to shoot me without going through an old bullet hole." "Well, I'm awfully sorry, Mr. Davis, but a bargain is a bargain." "But look, I tell you!" "Well, Mr. Davis, but business is business. You cost me a million dollars." "But I never got a sale of that." "I'm sure you realize that that's not my fault, Mr. Davis." "Are you sure about that, Mr. Davis?" "I don't care to discuss it, Mr. Davis. Now here is another very good prospect that I want you to see just as soon as possible." "Well, I won't do it." "Mr. Davis, must I take steps?" "Now I'm out of this black laundry shop." "Well, I hadn't had any rest for so long. I was so fed up with this, Mr. Hellman, and the job he forced me into." "I said to myself, I'm going to double-cross you, Mr. Hellman. I'm going to get some rest of them." "Somehow, shall I walk into this black market to his office?" "He seemed to be around a nice fellow." "How do you do, young man? What can I do for you?" "I don't want anything." "I don't want anything." "No thanks." "Well, a washing machine." "Now, what can I do with a washing machine?" "I changed a thousand dollar bill for you?" "No." "Well, an apartment, maybe." "An apartment?" "Say that I could use." "It's a deal, sir. Just look at this. Four rooms." "Bath newly decorated, daily-made service, mud and kitchen." "Find us department in the city. How about it?" "How much?" "That we sell in price, sir. Long term lease." "I'll take it." "But, uh, hmm, yes?" "You'll have to buy the dry press in the apartment." "Oh, that's all right. How much?" "Oh, that'll be, uh, let me see, ten thousand dollars." "I was standing over him with a smoke still reading his way up out of my revolver, and he was as dead as a doornail on a thick green rug." "A door opened, and I turned her out." "Well, well, well, Mr. Davis." "Hellman." "Mr. Hellman Davis, well, now you have been and gone and done it." "Did you hear what he was trying to sell me?" "Did Davis, I hope you realize that your days as a guest in my institution are over." "You mean I don't have to go back now?" "My, certainly, is dead. You're a very good shot, Mr. Davis." "Oh, he made me so mad." "Yes, indeed." "Well, what were you saying about not having to come back?" "Oh, uh, did you mean I don't have to come back now, Mr. Hellman?" "Why, Mr. Davis." "What?" "Why, Mr. Davis. Don't you see what you've done. I knew eventually you'd do something like this." "Tempa, Tempa, Mr. Davis." "What are you talking about?" "My, Mr. Davis, I knew someday you'd commit a crime. Commit a sin, Mr. Davis." "Why, certainly, you're coming back, Mr. Davis." "After the law gets through with you." "Mr. Hellman." "Listen, uh, listen, sir." "I'm afraid you're never going to be a business man, Mr. Davis." "I have such interesting things for you to do the next couple of million years." "Who's that?" "Why, and that, Mr. Davis, I suspect is the, uh, officers come to take you to jail." "Well, they will eventually send you back to me." "No." "No, I'll be seeing you to Mr. Davis." "Kill me again." "Kill me again." "You have listened to Quiet Players, which is written and directed by Willis Cooper." "Mr. Davis, the man who spoke to you, was Curtis Chapel." "And Mr. Hellman was played by James Monks." "The girl was played by Peggy Stanley." "And the black marketer was Pat O'Malley." "Music for Quiet Please is composed and played by Jean Grazo." "Now I'll put a word about next week's Quiet Please. Here is our writer/director, Willis Cooper." "Next week's story is a simple story of a man and a woman who loved each other and what happened to them." "It's called In Memory of Bernadine." [Music] "And so, until next week, at the same time, I am Quietly Yours, Ernest Chapel." [Music] "Quietly is came to you from New York. This is the mutual broadcasting system." [Music] "Well, it sounds like the tenants at your rental property sure know how to throw a great party." "You just wish they wouldn't throw so many parties, on Tuesdays, until 4 a.m." "And if they could pay the rent on time, that would be nice too." "Being a landlord can be stressful, but it doesn't have to be." "Let renters warehouse handle the hard part of property management for you, like finding quality tenants you can trust." "Renters warehouse manages thousands of single-family homes and specializes in locating reliable tenants at the right price for your property." "Usually in a matter of days." "And if your tenant defaults for any reason, they'll replace them for free up to 18 months under their tenant warranty program." "From rent collection to maintenance coordination, their best-in-class property management professionals do it all." "All for one flat monthly fee. Get a free rental price analysis at renterswarehouse.com." "To find out how much your home can rent for, that's renterswarehouse.com." Or call 303-974-9444 to speak to a rent estate advisor today. How dangerous is it to unwrap a burger at 40 miles per hour? More so than you think. In a little over two seconds, your car can travel slightly more than 117 feet, which is the same length as 20 bicycles. Anything that distracts you while driving is dangerous. That's why driving while texting can be deadly too. So put it down. It can wait. Don't drive distracted. Shift into safe. A message from the Colorado Department of Transportation.