Amos N Andy Daily
Amos n Andy - Amos n Andy-Tuxedo Rental Business
https://www.solgoodmedia.com - Listen to hundreds of audiobooks, thousands of short stories, and ambient sounds all ad free! Join us every day for Amos n Andy Daily, where we revisit the humor and social satire that made Amos 'n' Andy a staple of American entertainment. Each episode offers a unique glimpse into the lives of the show’s beloved characters, from the comedic escapades of Amos Jones and Andy Brown to the bustling community of Harlem. Ideal for listeners seeking a blend of laughter and a snapshot of historical societal commentary through timeless radio comedy
- Duration:
- 29m
- Broadcast on:
- 13 Jul 2024
- Audio Format:
- mp3
The Takono Music and Spirits Festival returns to Centennial Park, Saturday, August 3rd from 2 to 10 p.m. And it's free! Live music from The Warren Treaty! ♪ Live music ♪ Chris Daniels and the Kings is Callie and More. Enjoy a Spirits Competition, Kids Zone and Fireworks presented by Oxy and the City of Dacono. Admission and parking are free! The Takono Music and Spirits Festival brought to you by Breckenridge Brewery and City of Dacono. Go to thecityofdacono.com for more information. Looking for a financial institution that has fewer fees, better rates, and gives back to the local community? As one of Colorado's largest credit unions, Belco offers great rates on products like our free-boost interest checking and lower rates on loans, including our home equity choice line. Bank virtually any time, anywhere, through online banking and our mobile app. Becoming a member has never been easier. Visit belco.org or stop by any Belco branch. Membership eligibility required. Equal housing opportunity, all-own subject to approval, insured by NCUA. Belco, thank you for everyone. ♪♪♪ Anthony, you know what that music's a? Yes, sir, Amos, that music's a good health to all from Rexall. The stores with the orange and blue sign. ♪♪♪ Yes, 10,000 independent Rexall druggers, set the stores with the orange and blue sign. Bring your transcribe the Amazon Andy Show, written by Joe Connolly and Bob Mosher, featuring Ernestine Wade, Johnny Lee, Amanda Randolph, Leo Cleary, Jeff Alexander's music, yours truly, Hall of Wilcox, and starring Radio's all-time favorites, Freeman Gosden and Charles Corell, Amazon Andy! ♪♪♪ How do you do, ladies and gentlemen? I am Charles Corell. I just want you to know that you have our warmest and sincerest wishes for a happy and satisfying new year, from my partner and myself and our 10,000 independent Rexall druggers who will bring you this program. And I hope that you'll drop in on your own Rexall druggers early this coming year. If you haven't already done that, I can tell you from my own experience that a friendly Rexall family druggers is a mighty good man to know. ♪♪♪ Lately, there's been much excitement at the home of George Kingfish Stevens when the morning paper arrives. The local papers have been running a Lucky Buck contest. Every day, a serial number of a dollar bill is published, and the holder of that bill receives a $500 prize. Well, this morning at breakfast, the Kingfish's mother-in-law got to the paper first, and the Kingfish waits impatiently while she reads the news. Oh, oh, damn! Oh, me! Oh, oh, oh! What's the matter with you, mama? Is you're reading some bad news there? Or is that tight camisole pitching your liver again? (laughter) Quiet, George. What's in the paper that upset you, mama? Oh, look at this. Man kills wife's mop. Why did it happen, mama? Last night, this man stopped his automobile and asked his mother-law to go around and see if the taillight was working. And when she was bending down to look at it, he done backed over. Well, tell you one thing. If I had a car I'd be owed right now, numbering up that reverse gear. What'd you think, George? No, no, no, no. I'm just dreaming here. Look at your mama. Oh, would you please hurry up and finish that newspaper there. I won't see you today, serial number on the Lucky Buck contest. Huh. You ain't got no chance of winning that. Well, everybody's playing it. Yesterday, me and Amos and Andy, we're down to list the serial number of all the dollars we had. I got the list right here, and I just want to check the thing. Well, all right, here it is. Yeah, let me get the list here. Today's Lucky Buck is serial number Q99717023G. Well, I guess we didn't have that. Hmm. What's the matter with you, George? Your eyes is bogged out. Yeah. You look like the time of the picnic when you're sleeping under the tree and the bullfrog hopped in your mouth. Well, I just looking at the list here. Q997023G is the serial number of one of the bills that Andy's got. Oh, that's wonderful. Andy will win $500. Yeah, where's my hat? George, you ain't thinking of trying to get that bill away from Andy, is you? Well, you know the old sin. Money is the root of all evil. And I just going down and pre-form a little tree surgery on the boy. Well, I think I'll get into large audience. I'll see what the kingfishes are. Hmm. What's this sign I got on the door here? Official government agency, counter-inflation division. George Stevens, head deflator. Man, I guess the kingfishes deflate in heads or something. Yeah, I better get in here. Well, well, come in there, brother. Hey, kingfisher, is you disconnected with the government or something? Oh, a sudden, Andy, don't you see the official genuine American eagle sitting right down on my desk? Eagles. That look like a stuffed owl to me. Well, it is an owl, Andy. When his eyes and howl give me the appointment, he couldn't send me no eagles. You see, eagles, there's egg stink. Egg stink? Well, all them dead birds give that wave. They don't stick them on ice. Playing to me, what are you doing for the government, kingfish? Well, you see, brother, Andy, uh, I has been appointed, uh, uh, uh... The end of it, before we get into this, too deep here, is, uh, you read the morning paper yet? No, it ain't. Good, sit down now, sir. You see, Andy, uh, the new administration wants to deflate the dollar. Oh, they're going to get out a smaller bill, huh? No, no, Andy, uh, you is here that today the dollar is worth only $0.60, ain't you? Yeah, I hear that. Say, by the way, how come that that is the situation? Well, it's mostly on the counter to the farm problem. You was read where the government has been buying up the weed in the corn and storing it away? Yeah, but how did that make the dollar worth $0.60? Well, in the old days, Andy, behind every dollar bill, there was a dollar in gold. But things are different now. There's ain't generally no wood, but right now, in Fort Knox, standing behind every dollar bill, there's 50 cents in gold in the air corn. [laughter] Oh, it's mackerel. They must be loaded with corn down there. Oh, sir, it is. Matter of fact, days who stuck for storage space, they were thinking to turn into Washington Monument into a silo. [laughter] Yeah, well, listen, I still don't see how the government is going to deflate the dollar. Well, now, Mr. Eisenhower, say it, instead of having the dollar worth $0.60, then he won't make it worth $0.80 right now. Yeah. And that's what I do in here in this agency, ain't it? Every time somebody turn in the book, I authorize to give him $0.80. [laughter] Now, wait a minute, Chair Kingford. [laughter] Listen, if I give you a dollar, and you give me $0.80 back, and I lose the money, no, no, and the dollar you've given me is only worth $0.60. [laughter] I have given you $0.80 for it. [laughter] Right there, you 20 cents a year, you see? Yeah, but I was just thinking here, if a dollar is only worth $0.60, ain't $0.80 only worth about half a buck. [laughter] Now, you're not playing that, Chair Boy. You see, so far the inflation is only hitting the folding stock. [laughter] Now, the financial experts, they ain't found out the way yet to fade up the loose change. You see what I mean? [laughter] Yeah, well, I still don't get this whole thing. Well, Andy, look here. I'm just going to have to give you a practical demonstration here of your government in action. Uh, has you got a buck on you there? Yeah, if you'll. Yeah, here's the dollar. Okay, now I'll take the dollar, and I'll give you this $0.80. Now, consider yourself deflated. [laughter] Uh, let me look at this buck here. Hmm. Wrong dollar. [laughter] Some wrong king thing. Oh, no, Andy, tell you what, uh, to give you a real picture of this thing, I think I better deflate another buck for you. Got another one on you, then? Yeah. Yeah, here you is. Mm-hmm, fine, here's your $0.80. Yeah. Hmm. Wrong buck again. [laughter] Oh, Andy, uh, so that you really get a good picture of how to thing operates, uh, I think we better deflate just one more dollar. No, no, no, no, thanks, kingfish. All this flating done give me the headache. And on top of that, I just noticed that one of the quarters the government give me here is made out of lead. [laughter] Now, where's Mr. Andy? You can't, uh... Oh, hi, Amos, hi. Hi there, Andy, how are you, kingfish? Well, hello, brother, Amos. Hey, what is you so excited about, Amos? Well, Andy, uh, ain't you seated the morning paper? The morning paper? Well, Amos, when you get on out of here, can't you see we as bender? Why don't you drive your cab on over to Jersey? Something you might pick up a fail, but... Wait a minute, now, wait a minute. What is this about the morning paper, Amos? Well, Andy, I done looked over the list of serial numbers that we done copied down, and you has got one of the lucky bucks. It's worth $500. Your dollar bill is? Holy mackerel. What must I do to get the money, Amos? Well, according to the rules, you caused the newspaper, and they send the man around the next day to verify the serial number, and then they pay you the money. Oh, boy. This is show a lucky break for me. Data kingfish? Well, uh, wonderful break. Ha-ha-ha-ha. Well, Andy, if you were smart, you would put that lucky buck in a safe place. Yes, sir, Amos, I'm going to go hide the thing up in my room and sit up there until the man comes up with the money. Fine, Andy, I'll drive you over to your room. Yeah, thanks, Amos. Go on. No, me. Man, they go hide that lucky buck in his room. Well, it looks hopeless, but so did building the Panama Canal. But as Teddy Roosevelt says, there's ain't no time to stop digging. Come on here. Good evening. This is your Rexall family drugist, one of the 10,000 independent drugists who have made the word "Rexall" part of our own store names. We've done that because we recommend and sell Rexall drug products. Among our most attractive drugstore displays are the golden top containers of superb and della field cosmetics. These luxurious beauty preparations are Miss della field's own formulas, and my women customers tell me they are most effective. For example, the and della field all-purpose deep cream provides complete complexion care in one single sensible cream. Other and della field preparations are the powder with the foundation built in. Lipstick, eye makeup compact, cologne, and skin freshener. And the I suggest you try all of these luxurious and della field cosmetics, sold exclusively at Rexall drugstores everywhere. Oh, me, I gotta find some way to get that lucky buck out of Andy's room. A man from the newspaper gonna pick it up the first thing in the morning. If I could only, uh, well, hi there, Calhoun. Hi, you king, fish. Oh, Calhoun, what you doing over in this neighborhood? Well, I've been having trouble with my eyes. Come over to see him a doctor, and he done something to my glasses that improved my vision a hundred percent. That's fine, Calhoun, what do you do? Put lenses in him. Yeah, that dude help all day. Yeah, you know Calhoun, I glad you here. I got a problem, that's worrying me to death. Now, look here, Andy got one of them lucky bucks that the contest they're running in the newspaper. Now, he got the thing hitting up in his room, and I gotta figure out the way how to get that lucky buck. Well, I know that Andy keeps all his variables under that loose board in the floor. Why don't you just slip up there when he ain't home and remove the object in question? Well, I can't do that 'cause Andy goes stay up there in his room and guard it till the man comes from the newspaper tomorrow. Well, a situation like this calls for the letting procedure known as "Marvius" Phil Titus. Well, Phil Titus. Yeah. What do that mean? Nab the thing while he's asleep. Yeah, well, I could think of some excuse for spending the night with him and get it in. Yeah, yeah, that way to work out fine. Yeah, yeah, that's a good idea, you guys. Well, I gotta be going, uh, having dinner with McCut and Megatron. Oh, you mean Megatron to be Bob Hipster? Yeah. He in town again? Yeah, yeah. I run into him today over at the big department store. He owned Megatron with the escalator between the 4th and the 5th floors. Only trouble was, he was walking up on a down escalator. [laughter] Walking up on the down escalator. Yeah, I watched him for 20 minutes and he kept walking and walking and wasn't getting no place. So I hollered up to him, I said, "M Megatron, you ain't never going to get to the 5th floor doing that." And he hollered back, "Man, I know, but there ain't nothing on the 5th floor, I won't know how." [applause] No, so like I said, and this, how far the mama's done going away for the weekend, so I thought I'd drop over here and spend the night with your parallel pal. You know, kind of keep each other company. Yeah, well, glad to have you, Kingfish. You was always welcome to my hospitality. Yeah, well, I figured that we could kind of talk a while and then go to bed. Yeah. How you been, ain't it? I've been fine. Well, that's enough talk, let's go to bed. [laughter] Wait a minute, it's only 7.30, what are you talking about? Yeah, it's only 7.30 here, but in London it's 12.30 here. And in India it's 2.30, and in China it's 4.30. Holy smoke, we better get to bed, it's almost daybreak, ain't it? He might as well turn in, ain't it? Oh, man, it'll feel good to lay down. You know, I went to a wedding today and they really tired you out. Oh, yeah, went to a wedding, huh? Yeah, let me get my shoes off here. Mm-hmm. Boy, that feels good. I just got these shoes today. Hey, wait a minute, ain't it? Them shoes don't match. There's both of their foot. Yeah, I know, but you can't be too choosy when you cut 'em off the back of a car. [laughter] Well, that's all set ya in there, let's hit the hay boy. Wait a minute, ain't you taking your clothes off? Well, I don't dare to take 'em off, ain't there? So it happens that I as a sleepwalker, and when I start walking I really gets around, boy. You does, huh? Oh, yeah, I remember one Sunday or the last April that really hit me. They found me walking in the east to parade 'em underwear. [laughter] Yeah, man, we ordered a few and everything. Oh, yeah. Well, at least you're gonna take your shoes off, ain't you? No, ain't that do a lot of sleepwalking in the house, isn't I? I don't want to step on no broken glass, cutting my toes and nothing. No, no, no. There you go. Let me pull down the bed, bitch, here, and we'll get in bed. There we are, there, uh, the end there. What is that pile of chicken fellas at the head of the bed there? What is that? Oh, Dad, well, that's my pillar. Yeah, the case and don't split open on me a couple of weeks ago. Don't sneeze on it there, it'll look like a snowstorm in here. [laughter] Yeah, and look at this tone sheet you got here, and look here. The stuffing is coming out of the mattress. And I see oysters that had better beds than this. [laughter] Oh, stop complaining, will you, Kingfish? Now, here's your share of the feathers. Get the sleep. Yeah, okay. Uh, turn out tonight, ain't it? Good night, Kingfish. Night and night, Andy, old pal. [music playing] [snoring] [snoring] He really ripping it off there. [snoring] This is like sleeping next to a hog with the sign of trouble. [laughter] I guess he did to the world. I can get up now and find that loose floorboard and start slooping around for that lucky buck. Well, I guess it ought to be over here some, please. Oh, I think I done found the board. Uh, Kingfish, is that you over there? Oh, yes, Andy, just standing up here shaking the wrinkles out in my suit chair. Don't worry about nothing. Yeah, well, you don't walk me up. Well, I'll get back to sleep. Yeah, sleep, old boy, just shaking him up. Oh, me, I was really tired. [snoring] Boy, that was a close call. He almost caught me. Well, I'll try it again. What was that? I had to decide to take my shoes off. [laughter] What was that screeching noise? Tight shoes. [laughter] Wait a minute, wait a minute. Let me turn on the light here. Kingfish, what are you doing? You're down on the floor there on your hands and knees. Well, well, so are yous. I must be the sleep crawler, too. [laughter] Get on back to bed, Andy. Don't you know no better than the terrible man when he's crawling in his sleep? [laughter] Yeah, last, sorry. I'll turn off the light again. Well, that was close. Let me get my hand in here. Hmm. Here we are. Now, I'll look at this money by the street light through the window. Yeah. It's the lucky buck, all right? That dog, let me get out of here. That must have been the kingfish. Oh, me, that poor fella is worse often than I think he was. He done turned out to be a sleep runner. [laughter] What is this, Andy? You say your lucky buck is done gone out of your room here? Yeah, it was. I had it hit under the floor. And when I woke up this morning, it disappeared. And I don't see how it could have happened. Because if anybody had come in here, either me or the kingfish would have hear them. You or the kingfish? Yeah. The kingfish slept up here last night? Yeah, but he didn't get much sleep. He was sleep walking and crawling and everything else. Mm-hmm. Save us. I want to ask you a question. Uh-huh. Do you think by any chance the kingfish could have something to do with my lucky buck disappearing? Well, I'm afraid he did, Andy. What is he going to do? What is I going to do? I'm going over and really put that kingfish to sleep. And this time, the only one that'll be doing any walking is his paw barrel. Yeah, it is. [applause] This is your ex-old ruggist again. A customer came in last week with a problem that may bother many of you during winter months. I've got to have some cough drops right away. This cold makes my throat tickle so I can hardly talk. Well, madam, I suggest you try these Rexall throat lozenges. Loza thracin. Loza what? Loza thracin. The antibiotic throat lozenges that give two-way relief from throat irritation caused by colds. You see, the loza thracin formula combines the pain relief of aspirin with the antibiotic action of tyrothracin. And I might add, these lozenges have a pleasant cherry menthol flavor. The packet is convenient to carry, too, right in your purse. See? Mm-hmm. Loza thracin. L-O-Z-O-T-H-R-I-C-I-N. I'll take it. Very well, ma'am. And remember, loza thracin is sold on the famous Rexall money back guarantee. At Rexall drug stores, everywhere. ♪♪ Well, I got this lucky book. I'm gonna get out of the large hall here and take it down to the newspaper office, and, uh, holy mackerel. Look out the window. Here come Andy with his sister. Well, up he got a stick in his hand. Hm, he looked like, uh, Rocky Machino coming out of his corner. Yeah, yeah. He got me trapped. I got to think fast. Yeah, too late to hide on me. Oh, well, uh, let me get on the phone here. Yeah. King Beach, I want to see you. I'm gonna beat you to a pump. I'm gonna take you and I'm gonna beat you. Oh, no, just a minute, brother, ender. Uh, I was on the phone here talking to a mortician. Uh, excuse me, ender. Uh, hello, Mort. [laughter] Uh, say, Mort, uh, just putting me down for that six-handle naughty pine job. Will you please? Yeah. Yeah, that's right. Uh, the one that only opens the lid, uh, halfway. Uh, uh, only half the lid opens, that's right. Yeah, that way you can just put the satin where it shows and burrow up the rest of the way, you see. Yeah, well, if I'm able, Mort, I'll drop over this afternoon for a final sittin'. Yeah, thank you, Mort. Well, that's a song, and I do mean goodbye. Now, brother, ender, old pal, old friend. Uh, what was this about beatin' up on me? Well, kingfish, uh, what is this? You talkin' to the mortician? Is there somethin' wrong with you? Yeah, then, on the sea of life, I was afraid that the old kingfish is outward bound to greener pastures in the old corral up yonder. Oh, mackerel. I didn't know you was ready to nibble on that big fish fry in the sky. Yes, and then, if your plan is to beat up on me, I suggest that you act fast, and, uh, rigor mortis, liable to sit in on me here any minute. And I'd hate to see you bruise your fist on me, is he? Yeah, well, this is all news to me, but it doesn't happen to you anyway. Well, ender, I didn't want to worry you and none of the other large brothers, but sometime now I've been sufferin' from a rare disease. What is new to Syracuse's of the hobgoblins? That's the botanical name, Andy, but the common name is Undertaker's Delight. That's a shame, kingfish, but, listen, if you was this bad or off, why did you jip me out of my lucky buck? Well, ender, I'll admit that I did it, and in my last minute's year, I was ashamed of myself. Yeah, but I only did it to finance my going-a-way party. You mean you needed $500 for that? Yeah, then, uh, I wasn't thinkin' of my own comfort, boy. I just didn't want the affair to be no disappointment to the other large brothers, you see? Yeah, well, I understand that. You wouldn't want no cheaper fare, no. Oh, of course not, and, uh, wanna go first class. Yeah. I pictured the large hall meetin' room with me laid out at one end, and the buffet's up a laid out at the other, you see? Everything will be first class, and, uh, an account on you to deliver the eulogy. Yeah, well, I'll take it anywhere you want. No, no, no, or eulogy, and, uh, that's where you make up good stuff about to bum the just past, no, and you know one of them things. Oh, yeah, yeah, I hear that, yeah. I tell you what, and, uh, maybe we better rehearse the thing. Uh, I only guess one shot at it, and I'd like to have a good one if I could. Yeah, well, what are we gonna do? How you doin'? Well, now I tell you what, Andy, I gonna get up here, now let me get up here, and stretch out on this desk here, and just kind of give you the atmosphere. Yeah, let me straighten out my clothes, that's it. Now, I'll cross my hands over my chest. Yeah, that'll look like it, all right. Yeah. Well, you stand in front of me, Danny, and I'll close my eyes real tight. Mm, lay it on thick, son. Think on your feet, boy, think on your feet. Yeah, well, let me see here. Uh, dear friends of our decreased brother, some folks has said that the kingfish couldn't be trusted. But if I looked at him, layin' there, stiff as a poker, now I would trust him with anything I got. And furthermore, my friends... Uh, say a kingfish, I've just dropped in here to see Andy. What's goin' on here? Oh, Calhoun, I'm just makin' a eulogy over the kingfish here. Eulogy? Yeah, I didn't know nothin' hadhin' to the poor kingfish about impassin' on. Calhoun, would you mind cruisin' that do I layin' here in a draft? No, I don't understand it! [Laughter] Well, okay, I know that's enough practice. I tell you what, you come back in the morning, we'll have to dress rehearsal and be all set for the big event. Okay, kingfish, I'll see ya tomorrow. Take care of yourself now. Oh, what a dummy that boy is. I'll go right down to the newspaper office now and get that $500 in person. [Music] Um, here's the newspaper office. Oh, and there's the sign. See what I say there. Lucky buck contest that I done. Yeah, get over here. Excuse me, Muslim. Yes? Uh, yes, you, the lucky buck editor. That's right. Oh, yes. Ha, ha, ha. Well, I got the lucky buck here that I'd like to collect the $500 on. The one that was in yesterday's paper. You have the lucky buck? Oh, yes, sir. It's, uh, right here in my pocket. Uh, it's, uh, right, uh, I mean, uh, I think, uh... I'm afraid you're mistaken. We just paid the $500 to that man over there. Pay it to that man over there. Well, I'll see ya about this. Uh, see ya, fellow. Yeah, King Fish, uh, wait a minute. Would you mind not bothering me while I'm counting this money here? And there, how in the world did you get that lucky buck? Well, King Fish, when I was making that eulogy, you told me to think on my feet. And that's just what I done. While you was laying there with your eyes shut, I done picked your pocket. Oh, now, wait a minute! Yes, sir. Oh! Friends, this is Hollow Wilcox with a tip for every one of you who has a cold or may get one this winter. Rexall Anapac relieves a cold at any stage from the first warning sneeze to the headache, muscular pains, and fever of a full-fledged cold. You see, the Rexall Anapac formula combines at a histamine with well-known APC compound. That's aspirin, finacatin, and caffeine. That's why you get all-round relief with this one product in convenient tablet form. So, friends, before another cold starts coming on, be sure to have your Rexall Anapac on hand. That's spelled A-N-A-P-A-C. Anapac sold on Rexall's famous money-back guarantee at Rexall drugstores everywhere, the stores with the orange and blue sign. Yes, ladies and gentlemen, rely on your Rexall family drugist. And when you visit him, would you be kind enough to tell him that Amos and Andy sent you? Thank you, and good night. See you next Sunday. ♪♪ The Dakono Music and Spirits Festival returns to Centennial Park, Saturday, August 3rd from 2 to 10 p.m. And it's free! Live music from the Warren Treaty. ♪♪ Chris Daniels and the Kings is Callie & Moore. Enjoy a spirits competition. Kidzone and fireworks presented by Oxy and the City of Dakono. Admission and parking are free. The Dakono Music and Spirits Festival brought to you by Breckenridge Brewery and City of Dakono. Go to thecityofdakono.com for more information. ♪♪ Ready for an audio experience like no other. Dive into the world of infinite sounds with crystal clear high fidelity. Only on Sahl Good Media. Visit SahlGoodMedia.com today and start exploring the boundless universe of sounds that will soothe, inspire, and revitalize your senses. Start listening today and experience uninterrupted serenity at SahlGoodMedia.com. ♪♪