Amos N Andy Daily
Amos n Andy - Hospitalization Plan
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- Duration:
- 30m
- Broadcast on:
- 09 Jul 2024
- Audio Format:
- mp3
5280 Exterior's James Hardy sighting is a low-maintenance sighting made primarily of cement that resists flame spread and repels wood-borne insects and woodpeckers. Through the month of July, you'll receive free, rigid foam installation with the purchase of whole-house sighting. That's installing additional insulation behind your sighting, or free. But only for the month of July. Call today for more details or visit 5280exterior's.com. 5280exterior's.com, a James Hardy preferred contractor. 5280 Exterior's. The Altitude of Quality. The Dacono Music and Spirits Festival returns to Centennial Park Saturday, August 3rd from 2 to 10 p.m. And it's free! Live music from the Warren Treaty! Chris Daniels and the Kings is Callie and More. Enjoy a spirits competition, kids' own and fireworks presented by Oxy and the City of Dacono. Admission and parking are free! The Dacono Music and Spirits Festival brought to you by Breckenridge Brewery and City of Dacono. Go to the City of Dacono.com for more information. James Sennandi Show, a full half hour of entertainment with all the aim of Sennandi characters, plus Blood, Bloodkin and his orchestra, Lando Seamus, Captain, Rhythm Ball. [Music] Well, it's 11 a.m. and the Stephen's home and the Kingfish has just finished breakfast. Suggesting it will be another thing, because his wife, Sapphire, is showing him the monthly bills. Well, now we're a minute, Sapphire, dear. The way the truth is is to put all the unpaid bills in one fire right here, then put the paid bills in another fire. I've already done that, and we've got only one fire. You know, honey, in all of the 22 years of our married life, I never see so many unpaid bills. Now look at it, look at this one right here. What is your music, five dollars for organists? That's the man to play five wins. [Laughter] He's still living, huh? [Laughter] Now here's something important. This is a bill from the electric company. It says last and final bill. Well, I'm glad to hear that. I thought they were going to keep on sending them things over. [Laughter] Judge, we've got to think of something to pay these bills. These utilities must be paid. Honey, I just ain't got the money. How about selling our automobile? You ain't going to sell that car, bar on it or nothing else. All right. That's all the pleasure I got, and I ain't going to give that up. Well, now don't worry, honey. I'll tell you what I do. I'll take care of the utilities. I'll go down and see Henry Van Fort and Boston money on one of my insurance policies. How much do you think you can raise? Well, I think I can get enough to take care of all the long, fair, due bills. Oh, that'll be a wonderful feeling, George. Yes, and then we can start with a clean slate to master birth. [Laughter] 1942. [Laughter] [Music] Hello, Pinkfish. Come in. Well, hello there, Henry. Come down to see you, Boston, Susan. Goodness, hey. Well, you'll have to excuse a look to my office, Pinkfish. My secretary stepped out for lunch, and she ain't back yet. No, why don't you step out? She stepped out, sir. My work, she's been gone a year. [Laughter] Oh, well, now, look, Henry, me and stuff, I was in parity for now monthly bills. A budget done buckled up on us and everything else. And I was here to try to borrow some money on one of my insurance policies. Yes, well, let me get your policies out the file. I look in the teeth. Why are you looking in the teeth? They like what? Oh, here we are, right here on top. This is under the very teeth. Oh, there he is. [Laughter] Hey, I'm sorry old chap, but your policies have been borrowed up to the hill. Well, now, wait a minute here. I'm with him. Doesn't there happen with my burial policy? No, Kingfish. That burial policy is done also lapsed up for non-payment of premiums. You don't know what Kingfish, but the only way that you can get buried is to die in an open grave. [Laughter] Well, now, about that accident policy I got, I've been paying on that for years, and I ain't had with one accident to be able to pay it off on it. Well, that's just the point. They paid you off on one accident already. And this type of policy, you was allowed only two accidents. And the second one must be fatal. [Laughter] Henry, you mean to say that my insurance ain't got no value, no more? Well, Kingfish in common everyday parlance. I'm telling you that you can't get no money on your insurance. That's definitely, huh? Indeed it is. In fact, my friend, if you were to die today, your wife would owe us $46.20. [Laughter] Well, Henry, I just took the money to pay some important bills. The utilities over at my house now are cutting wires. They're snipping right in the left over there, you know what? Well, why don't you go to work selling insurance, Kingfish? Look here, we got a hospital insurance plan. It's very easy to sell. Yeah, I know about that plan. And it's very possible because we don't have to pay many claims. It's profitable, huh? Yeah. Wait a minute. There's my chance. Why are there still this hospital insurance for you? I know what I'm going to do. I'm going to start my own company and keep the money for myself. [Music] Hello, Kingfish. Good morning. Well, hello there, brother. How are you feeling? Oh, I feel very well. Yeah, glad to hear it. Of course, the thing like that can't last, you know. What do you mean? Well, I got some good news for you, Andrew. Me and several rich multi-millionaires is then started the Stevens Hospitalization Insurance Company. It's a mutual company, too. What do you mean, mutual? Well, if you get sick, you will start. If you've got to go to the hospital. And if you go there, my company got to pay the bills or to feel a mutual to see what I mean. [Laughter] Well, what is the deal on the thing? Well, Andy, if you as one of our policies, especially the ironclad one, which is only a dollar exit. And if you get sick, you will see your free hospital service and medical care. Yeah, but like I told you, Kingfish, I never get sick. Oh, listen, Andy, with all the germs and microbes and bacteria that's flying around in the air, you can't catch something you ain't trying. [Laughter] Wait a minute, Chair. Why must I try to get sick? Why, of course, with the free medicine we give you, you can't afford to see well. And besides that, our parts also include operations. Oh, Jonah. Oh, yeah. And you know they're co-ops. You know what they're co-ops, don't you? What? Well, the doctor nowadays won't stick a knife in you for less than $50. [Laughter] Uh, just look at what it calls "aimers" in the hospital when he had that kidney stone operation. That kidney stone is bad, you know. Yeah, well, I don't like being sick. Andy, don't talk like a fool. In addition to everything else you get in the hospital, they got good food there. Yeah, but if I was in the hospital, I don't know if I was going to want no food. Oh, listen, Andy, if he wants to sleep at supper time and the nurse comes in to even wake you up, you feed you while you're sleeping. Wait a minute. How should you do that? Well, they got the scientific way of doing it. Yeah, they feed you what they call an "intra-genius-less." [Laughter] Yeah, they just stick the hyper-contact needle in your arm. [Laughter] And a needle is full of vitamins, calories, q-rex, pyrex, no, that's it. [Laughter] Well, that sounds all right, but suppose my girl drops over and I want her to sleep at supper. Well, that kid in the earth brings two needles. Oh, they can't have everybody over there. [Laughter] Yeah, I'd say what you mean. Yeah, the whole setup is great, Andy. Well, I tell you, still the hospitalization plan is the greatest thing since Madame Curie discovered the radio, you know? [Laughter] Well, listen, I don't think I need a kingfish. I feel good, and I ain't going to have no accidents. Andy, does you realize that the statistics show that in this country, one man has acted there for three minutes? Well, then sell the thing to that man. He really needs it. [Laughter] Listen, I look better than I ever did. Yeah, you say you look better than I ever find. I think they say you look better. 30 you look better on the outside, but on the inside is what counts there. No, no, kingfish. I don't want none of your insurance. Okay, Anna. Sometimes when one of your friends goes laying in a nice comfortable hospital with a broken leg or a fractured skull, and you were sitting home in that stuffy old room of yours, don't blame me. [Laughter] Listen, kingfish, there ain't nothing wrong with me. You might find a lot of other people that feels bad and it's down in the dump. But not me, son. I am happy. As I look around me, all I see is Luca, smiling at me. Nothing but blue sky. Do I see? Bluebird singing a song. Nothing but bluebird. It's all day long. I never thought of sunshine as old bright. Never thought me going to write. I know the day's hurrying by when you're in love. My heart may fly, gluting. All of them gone. Nothing but blue sky. Do I see? Bluebird singing a song. They know that nothing is wrong. There's nothing but happiness all day long. I never thought of sunshine as old bright. Never thought me going to write. Those days go hurrying by when you're in love. I'll be my blue day. All of them gone. Nothing but blue sky. Do I see? I would do if I could be. Every day would play for me. But now I'm one who I'm gone to start. George, what is he going to do about these fields? There's nothing in there, we've got to get a new drawer there. What is this thing in this big envelope here? One of the members of the largest technician for X-ray doctor, and while I was over his office collecting them doers, he just took a sample X-ray of my stomach. Look at that hole up to the lake. See that honey? There it is. There's my belt buckle there with my initials on it and everything. What are you going to do with it? Oh, just go it in the way of basket. It ain't worth it. It ain't worth it. Wait a minute. I've got our idea. That shows the inside of it, don't it? See you later honey. Well, I've got to actually sit you in the closet. Now I'll set the camera right about here facing the closet door, and I'll stand and up there against the closet door there. Well, hello there brother. And what are you doing over here? You said to drop over? I did, huh? Oh, well, forget about it. Forget about sit down. And getting back at this hospitalization plan, you might look all right on the surface, but if you ever see yourself on the inside... No, my skin has always been in the way. And look, I've got what you call a portable x-ray camera here. How about taking a picture of you in front of me there? Yeah, all right. And then you'll see that there ain't nothing wrong with me. Go ahead, take it. All right, tell you what I do here. You stand up against that closet door in there, and first of all, take your coat off or take that off. Wait a minute. Why want me to take my coat off? Well, of course, the coat is made of the herringbone cloth, and the bones will show in the x-rays, you know what I mean? I've got to take off your shirt, too, isn't it? Yeah, I'll take it off, too. Yeah, ain't you going to take your necktie off for us? Well, the necktie comes right off of the shirt. You see there? Throw it on the collar. Yeah, you really got some holes in that underwear there, ain't you? That's kind of a lacy design, isn't it? You want me to take that off, too? No, you know, you've got to fight your way out of that thing. Oh, you never find the right arm holding that thing under there. Now, tell you what, if you live up that lacy shirt there, and let me get a clean smack at your stomach there, but it's actually such... Yeah, okay. But tell me this, I can't understand how you're going to take a picture of me on the inside. It's dark in there. Well, just for us, never don't want you to open your mouth, let a little light in there, I don't want to do it. Well, go ahead, shoot it. All right, you've got to get the door there now, already? Smile. Okay. There we go, that was perfect. Now, brother, Andy, you get dressed while I open the closet door here and goes into the x-ray room and develop the film. Well, that was... Well, yes, we turned out to... Turned out fine, here it is. All righty. Yeah, when a stomachs in bed, cheap, they come out pretty fast, all right? How do it look? Well, now, let me hold it up a little later, let me see here. Let me look at it, too, wait a minute. Hey, what is this long thing there? Run straight up and down, right in the middle of the back. Let me see, you've been eating any bananas, ladies? You look like a banana stalk in there, ladies. Bananas? Oh, wait a minute, we didn't want to know what that is, now it's just your spinal column. Oh, well, it looked like it's broken. Look at the cracks in it there. Yeah, that's a bad spinal column already. That's why I used to see a columnist right away. Yeah, what else you see in the picture? Well, let's hold it up here and notice you've got a floating kidney here. I am, huh? Yeah, that goes swan again, look at that moving around. Well, hold that thing still, one of us is floating here. All right, see what you're living at, too, instead of being on the right side, it's on the other side. Amanda, you've got a left hand at some of you, you know that. Hey, look at that, what is that thing right there? Oh, that's the other glottus. Yeah, what's this thing down here? That's the lower glottus. Hey, look, look at that, look at that. Look down here at the bottom of the picture there. It looked like a belt buckle. It looked like a gut mission on the thing, too. G.F. Amanda, that ain't old belt buckle, that happens to be part of your anatomy. Yeah, what is that G.F. on there? Stand for gallstones, you got it? Listen, I didn't know I had gallstones. Yeah, well, it stays so red on the belt buckle there. Yeah, well, I thought you know it when you got those things. Well, not always, tell me this, do you eat a lot of mashed potatoes? Oh, yeah, I eat a lot of them. Well, that's the reason you don't go to gallstones to mashed potatoes, keep them from rattling, you see them? You know me, I was a sick man, I feel bad, all right. Well, you better sit down that chair, Amanda. Now, about this hospital insurance, you give me $10 now, and you ain't got no more words, and you're the contract for you to sign. Yeah, but how do I know if I got to go to a hospital, if you're going to be able to pay these bills? Well, tell me what I'll do, I've got to order a mobile, I'll put it up in the contract, that you can take my car and sell it if I don't take care of the hospital. OK, put that stuff but the car, and then I'll take it. Here's the $10. Yeah, you can have the X-ray picture. Get a good frame for it, set it on your dresser, look good up there. Come on, come on, come on, come on. Come on, come on, come on, come on. Well, Andy Opal, how you feel today? Oh, and if you was looking at Amanda's on his last leg. Yeah, what's the matter, you look all right to me? Yeah, on the outside, but you ought to see me on the inside. Yeah, well, there's something to matter with you on the inside, I don't know. Oh, yeah, for one thing, I've got a floating banana stock inside of you. What is he talking about? Oh, my final column is out of shape. I've got to see Walter Winchester, some of them columners. Oh, everything is wrong. How about your liver? I've got that too, with mashed potatoes. Andy, I don't think there's anything to matter with you, you ain't sick. Well, if you don't believe me, I'll take you home and show you the X-ray picture that the kingfish took on my stomach. I've got it framed on my dresser. Yeah, well, I wouldn't believe anything the kingfish tells you, though, Andy. Listen, if you think you were sick, why don't you get yourself checked up by a regular doctor? Amherst you is as right as two rabbits. That's just what I'm going to do. I'm going to make a pointer with a doctor right now. Well, what do you think, doctor? Well, Mr. Brown, I'd like to make a thorough examination of you myself and give you a few tests. Then I'll let you know if you need an operation. Let me talk it over. Let's talk it over. Before you tell me you're through. Why can't we sit together and pick you wherever this is the right thing to do? I hate the thought of sending lights all along. Missing the thrill of nights that we've known. Can't we talk it over? Before it's over. Before you whisper goodbye forever. Let's talk it over, dear. Now, Mr. Jard, we were so in love that they love stars. Who would think that we would soon be partners? I just can't believe it's too stop I just. I'll make this appeal to you. Can't we talk it over? Let's talk it over. Before you tell me you're through. Can't we sit together and pick you wherever this is the right thing to do? I hate the thought of sending lights all along. Missing the thrill of nights that we've known. Can't we talk it over, baby? Before it's over. Before you whisper goodbye forever. Let's talk it over, dear. Thank you. Well, King Fish, I see you was really in a mess. You so landed this hospitalization policy, put up your automobile and now you might need operations. Yeah, he go home into the whole deal. Well, in the smart set, King Fish, the fashionable thing is to have the operation whether you need it or not. Sure, no? Yes. Oh, yes. Mr. Worthington, the pastor of the 125th Street Deficers had his appendix took out twice. Twice, huh? Oh, yes. The first time he was too late for the Sunday Society column. Do you mean the state has any operation of stylish? Oh, yes, indeed. Mr. Deficers' incision was such a curiosity that he had a cellophane wind to put in his shirt tail. I guess that was a high clear thing for the place. Very high class. Even the doctor wore a sterilized stuccino for the operation. Well, this whole mess is my fault because if I had something of not to scare Andy with that x-ray of mine, and tell him both him and his kidneys don't, he wouldn't go on to the doctor in the first place. Well, if he goes to the hospital, it's no telling how long he'll be there. Yeah, well, uh, you know, uh, I got this contract with him, I certainly hope he gets well, or something. Well, I'll tell you, King, face my advice to you, is to get a good loophole lawyer. Hey, that's a good idea. You know a loophole lawyer I can get? Yeah, but Gibson then gone out of town. Well, why not go to see LaGuardia Stonewall? He's known as the eel of the legal profession, I guess. Hello, LaGuardia. Hi, Steve. Uh, I want to see you about the legal matter and understand that you was a loophole expert. Man, that's my specialty, but if the last one I had, I tried to get him to a loophole. Did you get him through? Everything but his neck. Well, uh, I hope you had a few pleasure to handle that care for me right now. I might be this afternoon, I got to go down and flee the case again. I've been fleeing the same case every day for months and months. Mm, what is the nature of the case? It's time to get me a telephone. A telephone, huh? I must have got one. Excuse me, brother. Hello. Here, here, good-bye. That was my wife. LaGuardia, it looks like I'm going to get him some trouble, and I don't want to go to this jail and haul him. No worse, skip the jail out there. I think I can get you sent direct to the penitentiary. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, LaGuardia. Here is a contract that I made with a friend for this hospitalization plan. Now, look at it and see if you can find an illusion. Okay. I'm going to stay there. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. A contract between Brown and Steve. Mm-hmm. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, that's a terrific loophole. Oh, great. You really got a good loophole there. Oh, I'll say. With this loophole, we can make this man Steve must pay a fortune. Wait a minute. I'm Steven. Oh, man, it wouldn't be good, would it? Oh, look here, LaGuardia. Can't you come to no opinion on the thing? Yeah, I've had a opinion. What's that? Well, a friend is man Brown over by the other hand, on his side of the kitchen. Yeah, but you were handling my side of the case. Wait a minute, Baba, got an idea. Did you have a license to sell insurance? Well, ladies and gentlemen. Well, the parties you saw wasn't legal. It wasn't fair enough. You was in trouble for violating the law. No license. I was in trouble. See, wait a minute. Give me your idea. I think I can handle it from here on. You see, Buzz? Yes, a little thought like that sometimes doesn't say. It happened with me just last summer. The same thing. What do you mean? I had a client that wanted to get his style over and get out of town. How did you come out? I'm happy to say that after I gave him the one thought, the child was over, and my client ran down and caught the night both over me. Over there? Yeah, but he had to get off of anything. [MUSIC PLAYING] Come in, King Phage. What's on your mind? Oh, Andy, I just come from talking to LaGuardia soon while the famous lawyer, and you was in serious trouble. How was I in trouble? How for buying insurance from my unlicensed insurance company? Carried a two-year jail sentence. Here, in the opposite law, I was running a fraudulent insurance company. Well, wait a minute, I ain't done nothing. Oh, yes, you is. Here, I was running a perfectly legitimate fraudulent business that you had to step in and ruin everything. [LAUGHTER] Well, wait a minute, Sheriff. If I bought insurance from you and you didn't have no license, you was the one that's guilty. Oh, no, I ain't. You see, I put these ignorance. Yeah. [LAUGHTER] Why can't I play the ignorance too? Why? Of course, the insurance association only allows one ignorant party to a deal. [LAUGHTER] [LAUGHTER] The more thing you know, you'll be reading that false note on the policy. [LAUGHTER] [LAUGHTER] [LAUGHTER] I sure have gotten myself in a spot here, you know. Yeah, yeah. You get one good break, Joanda. Here, take care. I was giving you back this $10 you paid me for the premium. Do the law make you do that? No, I'm a conscious of making me do it. You see, by giving you back the $10, the $10 flies and avoids the policy which automatically knocks another six months off your jail sentence. Well, I'll send you something. I certainly appreciate what you were doing for me, King. Oh, don't mess them, Andy. I just wish that I had a good friend like me. [LAUGHTER] Well, she can't, Andy. We're all in the clear of each other now. Yeah, we're all in the clear of step. I gotta go to that doctor and find out about those tests to see if I need operation. Yeah, well, I hope you don't 'cause it's gonna be very expensive for, you know. Hey, tell you what I'll do. I'll walk over there with you. OK. [MUSIC PLAYING] [LAUGHTER] Well, doctor, what is your diagnosis of this animation? Mr. Brown, I can give you a clean bill of health. I can find nothing wrong with you. Oh, that's great news 'cause I was certainly scared. Yeah, and you can't blame Andy for being scared, doctor. Oh, by the way, that X-ray you brought me was not of your stomach. If you can find the man that belongs to, get him to a doctor immediately. He needs an operation for a kidney stone. [CHEERING] [MUSIC PLAYING] [MUSIC PLAYING] [MUSIC PLAYING] [MUSIC PLAYING] [MUSIC PLAYING] [APPLAUSE] [MUSIC PLAYING] The MSNBC show has come to you through the worldwide facilities of the United States Armed Forces Radio Service, the voice of information and education. [MUSIC PLAYING] [MUSIC PLAYING] 5280 exteriors James Hardy sighting is a low maintenance sighting made primarily of cement that resists flame spread and repels woodborne insects and woodpeckers. Through the month of July, you'll receive free rigid foam installation with the purchase of whole house sighting. That's installing additional insulation behind your sighting for free, but only for the month of July. Call today for more details or visit 5280 exteriors.com, 5280 exteriors.com, a James Hardy preferred contractor, 5280 exteriors. The altitude of quality. The Dacono Music and Spirits Festival returns to Centennial Park Saturday, August 3rd from 2 to 10 p.m. And it's free live music from the Warren Treaty. [MUSIC PLAYING] Chris Daniels and the Kings is Callie and Moore. Enjoy a spirits competition. Kid Zone and fireworks presented by Oxy and the City of Dacono. Admission and parking are free. The Dacono Music and Spirits Festival brought to you by Breckenridge Brewery and City of Dacono. Go to thecityofdacono.com for more information.