Amos N Andy Daily
Amos n Andy - The Loan Business
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- Duration:
- 29m
- Broadcast on:
- 05 Jul 2024
- Audio Format:
- mp3
Hey there, it's Solomon from Saul Good Media. A lot of our listeners have asked how to get ad-free access to our podcasts. You asked, and we answered, we're offering an exclusive one-month free trial to our ad-free streaming platform, packed with over 500 audiobooks, meditation sounds, and engaging podcasts. No strings attached, just pure listening pleasure. Sign up today at Saul Good Media dot com and dive into a world of stories and sounds that inspire and relax. Don't miss out on this limited time offer. It's your gateway to unlimited audio enjoyment. That's Saulgoodmedia.com. S-O-L-G-O-O-D-M-E-D-I-A dot com. Check it out, we hope to see you over there. Hey there, listeners. Are you ready to unlock a world of captivating stories, soothing sounds, and enlightening lectures? At Saul Good Media, we believe in the power of audio to enrich your life. And now we're offering you a chance to experience it all for free. For a limited time, you can get a one-month free trial to our premium, ad-free service. Imagine having unlimited access to over 500 audiobooks, meditative sounds, and exclusive shows, all at your fingertips. Just head over to Saulgoodmedia.com and sign up to start your free trial today. No ads, no interruptions just pure, immersive audio content. Don't miss out. Transform your listening experience with Saulgoodmedia. Visit Saulgoodmedia.com and start your free trial now. We can't wait for you to join our audio community. Happy listening. Andy, you know what that music's saying? Yes, sir, Amos. That music's a good health to all from Rexall. The stars were the orange and blue sign. Yes, 10,000 independent Rexall drugists. Set the stores with the orange and blue sign, bring you transcribe the Emerson Andy Show. Written by Joe Connolly and Bob Mosher, featuring Ernestine Wade, Johnny Lee, Amanda Randolph, Roy Glenn, Will Wright, Jeff Alexander's Music, yours Julie Harlow, Wilcox, and starring radios, all-time favorites, Freeman Garston and Charles Carell, Amos and Andy. Good evening, ladies and gentlemen. I am Charles Carell. I wonder if you know that there actually is a difference in brands of aspirin. Well, there is. Every Rexall aspirin tablet contains five full grains of pure aspirin. What's more, there's no faster acting aspirin than Rexalls. Just thought you'd like to know why I always say Rexall when I ask for aspirin. You might want to keep that in mind the next time you get aspirin at your Rexall drugstore. About six months ago, George Kingfish Stevens and his wife Sapphire borrowed $500 on their furniture. Ever since then, the Kingfish has fallen farther and farther behind on the payments. The loan company has resorted to every known device to collect the money, but so far, the old Kingfish has been able to stall them off. George Stevens, you're going to have to do something about it. Another man was here today from the finance company. Yeah, what gimmick did that boy use to get in? Did he claim he was a census taker or did we done one day Irish cheap steaks? What was that? No, this wise guy told us he was from the Arthur Godfrey Show auditioning singer. Yes, and I was in the middle of the last rolls of summer when he pulled a foul notice out of his violin case. Yeah, this is a real sneaky outfit, but I asked you smart from him, you know that. Oh, George, this time they'll take our furniture. Now all the neighbors will know we're in debt. Oh, just see. I'll wait a minute, mama. The fact that we isn't there ain't no secret around this building, you know, how about the other day, mama, when you throw the collector from the gas coming down the stairs? He fell on the landlord. It was coming up to collect the rent. Well, I don't blame mama for that. He was nasty too. Yeah, well, they need the first time it happened. We got to find some way to stagger the collectors and the process servers, so they won't keep falling over each other on the land. Well, you better do something about the finance company, George, because they really want their money this time. Oh, don't worry. I'll think of some kind of stall. And if they give me two of a time, I'll really fix them for good. I'll let them take our crummy furniture. They get so low that this flop house provincial, they'll really go out of business. George, this is a tricky outfit. They're gonna get you sooner or later. Listen, I know every trick that they can pull. I wise that these people, actually, I know as much about the loan coming to businesses they do. I ought to make that in my racket. Why, I could, I could, uh, uh, uh, hey, wait a minute, sir. Why couldn't I go in the loan business? What are you talking about? And where would you get the money to start? Well, Andy got a lot of capital in the bank. Maybe I could talk him into going in partners with me. Huh. You all fine, Andy, putting up the money so easy. You don't stun him too much in the past. Listen, a smart beak and even getting nectar from a thorny rose. I didn't have no trouble getting the honey from a big fat dimwitted petunia like Andy. No, sir, Kingfish. I ain't gonna put up my money for us to go in a, no loan company now. Well, now look, Andy, you'll be the president of the company. I'll be the chairman of the board. It'd be a great thing. No, sir. I'm gonna keep my money right in the bank where it is. While it's in there, the government guarantees the stuff. They're standing behind it. Well, what's so good about that, ain't it? Let's analyze the thing. Who is the government? The people. And you is the people, ain't you? Yeah. Well, there you is, Andy. In other words, you is guaranteeing your own money. You certainly don't want a deadbeat like yourself being responsible for your $500. Well, I see your point there, Kingfish, but we could lose my money in a loan company. Now, wait a minute. There ain't no risk, Andy. First of all, we only loan the money to responsible people. We make sure that they owns a home, has an automobile, has a bank account, and is work instead of it. That's the kind of customers we want. Yeah, well, if they're doing that well, they got their nerve coming in here and asked a couple of bums like us for money. Oh, no. And if I naturally, at the moment, they might be temporarily decomposed. You know their assets might be frozen. Frozen? Well, I don't like the idea of waiting for no hot spell to get my money back. Yeah, I guess lucky, Andy, we ain't in the business loan out brains, or we'd be bankrupt here before we started. Well, I like the idea of making money and compounding interest and all that business, but I still don't see how we can't lose our money. Well, now, let me explain to you how it works. You see, we checks on the people first. It's like, well, suppose you take a beautiful gal out to buy a expensive dinner. Before you lays out all that dough, a smart fella talks to some of the lover boys down at the pool hall and gets her done in Brad Street right in the smooching department. Oh, yeah, well, now you're talking my language. I'm glad to know this business is tied up with smooching somewhere. Look here, all you is getting is, is just in trouble by not going into this business. Now, look here, you understand the loan business now. What do you say, boy? You got $500 in the bank. You put up the money and I'll put up the brains. Well, okay, I think I'll take a chance on the thing. You put up the brains, but I ain't going to put up my whole $500. I only going to put up 300. Well, all right, Andrew, if you want to do it that way, all right. But would you only put enough $300? I reserves the right to use one third of my brains for outside ventures. That's what I'm going to do. Well, Andrew, we've been in the loan business here, boy, for two hours now. Oh, yeah, yeah. Yeah, great name we got for the company too, isn't it? The super friendly, crudious, convenient neighborhood personal loan company of America. Oh, yeah. That show is a long name to have printed on the door, though, ain't it? Yeah, the painter managed to get it all on, though. I want to travel this with the open door half of America's days on the door jam. Well, I sure hope that we get a... Come in. I saw your sign. Is this the super friendly loan company friend? Yeah, friend. And I was friendly, Lyndon Stevens, and this year's Easy Payment Brown. Fine, I'd like to borrow $300. Yeah, now, of course, we'll have to have some information first. Information? Yeah, sir. We've got to know a few smooches or not. Okay, no attention to Easy Payment, your mother. He knew in the business. Oh, sit down here now. Tell me just first, what is your name? Name? Longshot Harrison. Yes, meet him as long as you are. And you address? I live in an apartment at 437 East 169th Street. 437. Excuse me for protruding, mister, but... Ain't that practical in the East River? Well, now that you mention it, the first three floors are a little damn. Oh, yeah, natural, natural, yeah. Yes, and now tell me this. What did you want the money for? I want the money to make a down payment on a little rose-covered cottage in the country for my dear old mother. Oh, night at night. Well, that's a legitimate reason. Now, our interest rates are 2%. 2%. Is that by the year or by the month? By the hour. Well, that's high, but I'll only need it for a week. No, I said, well, uh, get out the money, innit? Uh, mister, you can sign right here. Very well? All right, they're on the dotted line, right over them dots. That's it. There you are. And here you is, $300. Thank you. I remember now, you're going to return to $300 plus interest in Karen charges a week from the day. Very well. See you then. Well, innit, we got our first customer, boy? Yeah, but I don't know. Yeah, something makes me uneasy about lending money to a man that wears blue suede shoes and an orange polo coat. Good evening. This is your ex-old family drugist, one of the 10,000 independent drugists who have made the word rexol part of our own store names. We've done that because we recommend and sell rexol drug products. One item many customers request right after Thanksgiving is the Andela Field Reducing Plan. This plan is not just one reducing aid, but a complete and scientific method of removing excess weight safely and surely. You get a complete kit containing and inspiring menu and reducing book, protective daily vitamins, and the Della Field Appetite Reducing Wafers. And now there are two Andela Field Reducing Plans, a plan for men, a plan for women. So if your doctor says your excess weight is not organically caused, ask for the Andela Field Reducing Plan, available exclusively at rexol drugstores. Oh, come on in, brother, end us it down. Yeah, say the week is up. This is the day that that Mr. Harrison is coming in to repay his loan. Oh, yeah, and with the interest and current charges and everything, we're going to make a clear profit of about $150 bucks on the boy. Oh, yeah. You know, we as a couple of smart guys, you know what? You think the man is coming in soon, came for sure, ain't it? Don't matter what time he gets you, as long as he keeps the money to move interest, he can move us. He is, huh? Oh, yeah, ain't it? Both of you got hit by automobile or something. While he's laying up there in the factory war, the interest is compounding in our favor. Well, if the fella gonna have to suffer, it's nice to know he's suffering in our behalf, ain't it? Oh, we got a great racket, your boy, wanted to greet us out and never see it. Oh, yeah, well, we'll just sit here and wait for him to come in and pay the money. We's in the money. Oh, do, do, do, do. Oh, do. Oh, do. Oh, me, I want to watch keeping him, King Faith. Well, any him and his sweet old mama is probably watering the roses around the vine, come and cut it. Yeah, well, while we waiting for him to finish watering them flowers, I think I'll go in the back room and get myself a cold drinker's up. You call me if he comes in, will you, King Faith? Oh, you like that, ain't you? Getting nervous, boy, doesn't miss the Harrison. Come to think of it, that boy is slapping an awful lot of water on them roses. I wonder if, uh, hello, a super friend alone, come there. Hello, this is Longshot Harrison. Oh, hello, Miss Harrison. Yes, sir, yes, sir. You better get over here with the money, cause your late charges is mounting up on you. Well, I'm very sorry, but I'm not going to be able to pay back that loan. I'm stone broke. You broke? Well, that's just too bad, cause we gonna have to foreclose on the collateral. Sorry, but I don't have any collateral. Where do my job? What about that rose covered cottage in the country that you gonna make the down payment on? That cottage ran out of the money at Belmont. So long. Hello, uh, hello, hello, hello. Holy mackerel, I don't loan the money to a dead beat. Me of all people. Oh, me, this is like a rattlesnake getting fanged by a cobra. I gotta get out here before Andy finds out what doesn't happen. Uh, hey, kingfish, uh, did that Mr. Longshot get here with the money yet? Uh, no, no, ain't it? No, no, no, no, ain't it, uh, oh, yeah, boy, it's show costing him a lot of money, stayin' away like this, ain't it? Yeah, yeah, it costs them, uh, a lot of money, ain't it? Yeah, you're right, uh, yeah, the poor boob don't know. We're sitting here compoundin' the interest on him, do it. Just thinkin' here, Mr. President, uh, with the business like we got here, ain't no use, uh, tying up all this man power sittin' round waitin' here. Well, uh, what you mean, Mr. Chairman? Well, uh, instead of both of us sittin' round waitin' for Mr. Harrison, why, we could divide the waitin' and shifts. Shifts? Yeah, uh, uh, Mr. President, suppose you take the first shift? Well, fine, uh, how long must I wait you? Well, we evaporate on regularly eight-hour day, uh, five o'clock now, uh, you just sit here at one o'clock in the morning and I'll come back as Chairman of the Board and take over from then on, you see? Wait a minute, wait a minute, well, you mean I gotta sit you all night? Well, that's the law, ain't there? You gotta be open 24 hours a day, alone come near, and an all night bean rip both come under the claws of the Constitution, you see? Oh, if that's the law, okay. Well, so long, and I'll see you later. Well, wait a minute, just a minute, King Fish, come here. Suppose while I'm waiting here, somebody else comes in to make a loan. What'd I do? Well, I'll tell you, Mr. President, there's 38 cents in the desk drawer, that'll just make the best deal you can, boy. Oh, May is quarter to two in the morning here. That King Fish show is late, gettin' back to take over to the next shift, and I wonder what happened to that Mr. Longshot. He's gonna ruin them roses with all that water. Uh, come in. Is that you, Mr. Long? Oh, hi, Amos, hi. Well, Andy, I was going home in my taxi cab when I see Delight on in the large hall. What is you doing up here at two o'clock in the morning by yourself? Well, me and the King Fish is running a loan company and I gotta sit here all night under the baked bean amendment. I don't know what kind of business he was running there, but it don't seem right as you sit in here all night, do it? Oh, no, Amos, this is great for the business. We loaned a fellow $300 and the longer it takes to pay back the money, the more interest we're gonna charge. You know, I was figuring here, if he never comes in and pays us back, we're gonna be millionaires. You loaned a fellow $300, and you were still waiting for him to come in and pay you back? Yeah, that's right. The King Fish say he's coming back and take over the next shift, but he ain't showed up neither. And if you ask me to ask something fishy here, you better get ahold of that King Fish and find out what's going on. Yeah, I'm gonna get ahold of him the first thing in the morning. Well, I'll drive you on home now, son. Come on. No, no, no, Amos, I'm gonna sit you another couple hours. Maybe that missed a long shot and his mama done lost their sprinkling can. Yeah. Oh, good morning, Safar. Honey, is my breakfast ready? George Stevens, I've been waiting for you to get up. I want to talk to you. Wait a minute now. What is it, Safar? Has you got any money to pay off the finance company? This time, they ain't taking no stalls. They'll be around any time now to repossess our furniture. No, honey. Well, I did have a deal all worked out to get some money, but it fell through. But I'll take care of it somehow, though. Huh. And another thing, Andy Brown called you up this morning. I don't know what he's mad at you about, but he said if you didn't get right down to the lodge hall, he was gonna beat up on you through the next two shifts. Well, I better get right on down there then. But George ain't had your breakfast yet, and I got a nice beef steak for you. Well, never mind cooking it. Just give me the beef steak, bro. I'm gonna need it later for my eye, I think. This is Harlow Wilcox with a time-saving Christmas shopping tip. Look for the Rexall Christmas color ad in this week's life. Look, Collier's Saturday Evening Post and the current country gentleman. You can do your Christmas shopping in advance and save with this big two-page ad that gives you 39 full-color illustrations and more than 70 gift ideas for men and women, boys and girls. You'll find dowels and drums and charming toys for children, caranone, colognes and beautiful gift sets for women, popular stag toiletries and smart gift packages for men. You'll find chocolates for the family, stationary, leather-billed foals, toys and treats and jewel-tied treasures that will save you trouble, time and money. Thanks to Rexall drugists everywhere, you can plan your Christmas shopping in the un-crowded comfort of your own living room with the Rexall Christmas color ad. In the current life, look Collier's Saturday Evening Post and country gentleman. Well, good morning, brother. Don't good morning me, Kingfish. You realize I've been sitting here all night waiting for that Mr. Longshot has to come in with the money? Well, Mr. President, I got something to tell you. Oh, something's gone wrong, ain't they? Well, you is here at the old expression that money brings a fellow nothing but sadness. And you was never happy. Tell you, get rid of it. Yeah, I has heard that. Well, sit down, son and have a good laugh for yourself. Kingfish, something has done happen to my 300 bucks, ain't it? Well, and as chairman of the board to the president of the company, we have been wiped out, by one of the unforeseen hazards of the loan business. What's that? A lame horse on a money tract, hasn't it? Now, wait a minute, Kingfish, you just talk me into this. Now, either you give me my money back or I'm going to beat up on it. Now, wait a minute, sir. No, sir. I'm going to punch you so hard your stomach's going to go one way and your sack really act the other, I'll tell you. Andrew, you wouldn't hit a sick man, a man would hide the phobia. What are you talking about? The only dogs get hydrophobic. Well, that you is. You lay a hand on me, and I'll get you for cruelen animals. Okay, Kingfish, I'm going to start punching. Now, look, Andy, there ain't no use resorting to no fister-cuffery here. I sort of a way to get your money back from that Mr. Harrison. Yeah, how's that? Well, Andy, we is running a legitimate loan company, and the man done thwarted us. Now, the thing for us to do is to get our lawyer, Algonquin J. Calhoun, go down to the courthouse and swear all the ones for the man's arrest. Yeah, you know something you was right. Yes, sir, we is in the right this time. Yeah, Andy, every time before we've been in court, somebody done drug us down there. Ah. Just time we is in the right. Going to give us a chance to see how the other half lives. Now, Judge relax, boys. The judge say he going to see us in his chambers in a few minutes. Well, you think we're going to get the money back, Calhoun? Yeah, and I hope it don't take too much time because I'm getting the courthouse shakes already. Now, just take it easy, boys. Don't worry about nothing. When we get in there with that judge, I'm going to get some action. I'm going to wave my fingers in his face. I'm going to stab my feet. I'm going to holler, and I'm going to yell. I'm going to pound my fist. I'm going to jump up and down. Calhoun, what happened? Pick me up, boys. I don't know who rehearsed myself here. Kind of watch it there, Calhoun. You know, you've got too much jurisprudence there for your backbone to handle. Don't worry about me. I'm going to be all over that judge. Good morning. I'm Judge Clarkson. Did you wish to see me about something? Does we wish to see you? We is yeah for action, not talk. We is citizens. We is taxpayers. The time has come to rally around the coast, to get around a piece of justice, to plant the seed of humanity in the breasts of men, everwhere. I adore Stevens in this year, then, to Brown. Oh, oh, I see. You two want to have this other man committed. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, Your Honor. No, no, no, he ain't no maniac. This year's our lawyer. And let me do the talking here. Your Honor, look at these two men standing there. Look at the pitiful expression, "The moon full expressions in their eyes, and the sad, beaten stoop to their bodies." Your Honor, ain't they a mess? Now, tell me, just what is all this about? Uh, Your Honor, uh, somebody done frauded us out of three hundred dollars, and we wants to have them arrested. I see. Well, just how did this happen? Well, you see, uh, they was running a loan company. Uh, well, has your client's license to operate this loan company been approved by the state? Uh, you want to, we ain't got no license. No. Mr. Calhoun, do you mean to say you're a representing man here who are operating a loan company without a license? Well, I... Don't you realize that's a direct violation of the law? Well, uh, uh, uh, Stevenson Brown, what are you trying to pull here? Yeah, you heard it, Judge. What are you trying to pull here? You don't... Wait a minute, uh, we didn't know we were supposed to have a license. No, all we done was a loan to fellow three hundred dollars a week ago. Yeah, and he was supposed to come back yesterday and pay us four hundred and fifty dollars. Good, heaven. That's fifty percent interest. The legal rate in this state is ten percent. We used the legal rate, only we used it five times. Chancellor, do you realize your clients are guilty of usury? You don't have to tell me the law, Your Honor. I know what they are guilty of and on top of that, if you file the bill of particulars, you can get them for grand theft. Shut up, shut up before me and the judge throw you two loan charges into clink. I asked you one question here. Yes, yes, what is it? Are you on, uh, uh, would you give us permission to drop this whole mess before our lawyer starts booking us into the death house? Well, if you want to drop the charges, that's perfectly all right with me. Yeah, well, so long, Your Honor. Yeah, but don't either one of you crips leave town. We might want to get you on that usury rep. Oh. So, Andy, you done got your money back from the kingfish, huh? Yes, Amos, he done pawned that gold watch the brothers give him for twenty-five years of loyal service and he paid me back. Yeah, well, this is something the kingfasts decided to go in the loan business so he could pay off the loan coming that was hounding him. Yeah, well, I guess he just ain't had as much experience collecting money as they have. Yeah, well, at least you got your money back in and I hope you don't let it get away from me again. No, sir, Amos, I don't put it in my sock and I don't change them enough for temptation to get much of a crack at me. That was the stupidest thing I ever heard you do, losing three hundred dollars trying to open a loan company. Yeah, of all the crazy things you ever pulled eggheads. Well, I was just trying to get the money so we wouldn't lose our furniture. We're gonna lose it anyway, George, because this is the day the collector said he was coming back. Here's chocolate. Oh, wait a minute. Oh, me, that's him now. And here goes our furniture. Yeah, well, I better talk to him. Maybe I can find out how it runs a loan company so successfully. Oh, it's you, Mr. Longshot Harrison. Oh, so you come back to pay me the loan after all. No, I came up to give you a receipt for three hundred dollars. You see, I posed as Longshot Harrison to get the money you owed my finance company on your furniture. Oh, wait a minute. Now, here is your Rexall family drugist. Naturally, we all want to enjoy the holiday season to the fullest, yet these are the very weeks when many of my customers are trouble with a nasal congestion caused by winter colds. For effective relief, I recommend the antibiotic nose drops nasal thrison. This new Rexall formula provides two-way relief. First, nasal thrison quickly reduces congestion, opens up a stuffy nose, so to speak. Second, the antibiotic tyrothricin in this formula inhibits many bacteria. So if a cold in the nose threatens to hinder your holiday enjoyment, I suggest you get a bottle of Rexall nasal thrison. That's spelled N-A-S-O-T-H-R-I-C-I-N. nasal thrison comes complete with dropper at Rexall drug stores everywhere. Yes, ladies and gentlemen, rely on your Rexall family drugist. And when you visit him, would you be kind enough to tell him that Amos and Andy sent you? Thank you and good night. See you next Sunday. [applause] Boys and girls, many Rexall drugists are running a special contest for you right now, with a beautiful Schwinn bicycle as grand prize. See if the Rexall drugist in your neighborhood is planning a boy and girl contest. You may win one of the big prizes. Be sure to be with us at this same time next Sunday, when your Rexall drugist will again present the Amos and Andy show, transcribed and directed by Cliff Howell. Stay tuned for the Bing Crosby program, which follows immediately over most of these same stations. [applause] This is the CBS Radio Network. [applause]