Amos N Andy Daily
Amos n Andy - Christmas Show
https://www.solgoodmedia.com - Listen to hundreds of audiobooks, thousands of short stories, and ambient sounds all ad free! Join us every day for Amos n Andy Daily, where we revisit the humor and social satire that made Amos 'n' Andy a staple of American entertainment. Each episode offers a unique glimpse into the lives of the show’s beloved characters, from the comedic escapades of Amos Jones and Andy Brown to the bustling community of Harlem. Ideal for listeners seeking a blend of laughter and a snapshot of historical societal commentary through timeless radio comedy
- Duration:
- 31m
- Broadcast on:
- 03 Jul 2024
- Audio Format:
- mp3
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Get a $0 delivery fee for your first three orders while supplies last, minimum $10 per order, additional terms apply. It's The Amazon Andy Christmas Show, brought to you by Rinso, the only soap that contains Solium. On this Christmas Eve of 1950, leave your brother's company the makers of Rinso with Solium. Again, brings you the Amazon Andy Christmas Show. And now here they are with their Christmas cast and Jeff Alexander and his orchestra and chorus, radio's all time favorites, Amazon Andy! Well, this is Sunday Christmas Eve, but let's go back to yesterday morning. Andy's out with Amos's little girl, Arbadella, on their annual tour of the store window. Well, that's looking good for Uncle Andy. Yeah, they sure got a lot of toys in there, anything. I've never seen so many toys. This is like something you dream about. Yeah, hey, there's something cute there. There's a paint set. Look what they say, they're junior, paint set, $12.95 complete with easel. What's an easel Uncle Andy? Easel? It's one of them things. Well, all artists have got them, they can't do without them. What do they use them for? Well, where's them under half? They've got a little cast along and it keeps their head warm while they're painting. Well, Uncle Andy, you know everything, don't you? Well, most everything. A couple of things might have slipped by me. Oh, no, that's cute. What did that say? That's a baby doll set complete with pre-ambulatory. Hey, what's a pre-ambulatory Uncle Andy? Well, it's just like one of them measles, but it ain't got no tassel on it. Oh, no, Uncle Andy. Here's what I've been waiting to see. Here's the one in the corner. It's that big doll there. Yeah, that show is a pretty doll, Avadilla. Yeah, that's a talking doll. That's the one I wrote last night. A card to bring me. The daddy said I wrote the letter too late. You see, I only wrote it two days ago. Yeah, well, maybe your papa ain't got the money. I mean, that ain't give a Santa Claus much time. You got a writing before that. Oh, you think this is pretty doll, Uncle Andy? Daddy said Santa Claus would bring it to me next Christmas. Oh, sure. You see, that'll give me more time. We're having a good time today at me Uncle Andy. I like being out with you. Yes, and I like being out with you too, Avadilla. But they no sense of standing outside just when I've balling that doll all day. I guess we got to get on home now. Oh, Uncle Andy. Well, now just look at the talking doll once more. Oh, sure, Avadilla, go ahead. That sure is a pretty dress you've got on. Yeah. But when Santa Claus brings it to me next year, I'm going to make a lot more pretty dresses, pink ones. I can hardly wait till next Christmas. It's only a year. Oh, come in, kinky. Oh, well, well, well, well, the end of my Christmas beatings of the seasons. Hey, what you doing stretch out in bed there? Oh, I'm just laying down for a minute. I got a little woozy while I was on Christmas shopping with Avadilla. Yeah, well, you don't look too good around the gills. No, no. You look a little like a flounder that's just been gapped there. Yeah, I've got those little stringers on Christmas shopping for all your dear friends. You want to remember space at this time of the year? Yeah. Yeah, well, I don't know what's wrong with me. I don't took my temperature a few minutes ago, and the thermostat went up to 101. 101? That ain't good, isn't it? Well, did that mean I was sick? Well, I don't want to alarm you nothing, but I had a cat once that had a temperature of 101. The next thing I know is you started foaming at the mouth. And you drove through the dining room window, landed on the street and climbed 40 feet up a 20-foot tree. And a half hour later, you had a little kitten, too. Yeah, well, I don't think that I have sex. Well, Anna, like I said, you probably wore yourself old with too much Christmas shopping. So I'm going to do your big favor, boy. Instead of having you come all the way up to my house with that big present that I know you don't board for me, I'll just take the thing with me now and save you the trip. See, Anna, all we are thinking of you. What kind of a power would I be to let a sick man look at that big box up to my house on Christmas Eve? Yeah, you've got to think of your friends on Christmas. It's the spirit of good cheer of people on earth and mistletoe and all that. Uh, kingfish. Yeah, just eating. I kind of choke up, Anna. I still wear the spirit of friendship and brother-in-law. Uh, kingfish. Well, what is it, and the old power? I ain't got no present for you. How would you like to have a punch in the mouth? Listen, kingfish, don't you say nothing to me. I give you that pen and pencil set last year and you didn't give me nothing. Well, then like I said, I tell you what I've done now. I done bought you a box of fine sea guards. You know, corona corona. And I wanted them to be perfect for you. And I thought I'd puff on one to see how they were. And the first one seemed to be a little too dry. So, wherever I finished that one, I decided to puff on another one. And that one was too moist, you see. So, I thought I'd try another one. Well, anyway, between the puffing and the drying and the moisting. Well, the next thing I know, your Christmas went up and smoking. Well, kingfish, you see, it was all I could do to manage the scrape-ups up and for Amazon as kids. I was too broke to get you anything this Christmas came through. Well, Anna, I was just thinking now, if you want to go down to the friendly lawn coming on the corner, here's the plan to let you have one. Come in. Oh, hi, I'm lightening high. Good morning, my friend. How are you, brother, kingfish? Well, lightening, I'm glad you dropped by. I was just thinking about you. You know, you've got to think of your friends at Christmas time. It's the spirit of good cheer. Peace on Earth. This time of the year when the spirit of friendship and brother in those spreads throughout the world. Kingfish, if you don't get out of here, I'm going to punch you right in the nose. You hear that? Great, all right, it certainly is a fine attitude to take it Christmas time. Good-bye to both of you, bums. Well, lightening, I see you don't wrap up them presents for me like I asked you to. Oh, yeah, I don't wrap each one of them separate. Yeah, well, that's good. But wait a minute here. How am I going to know which one is the crayon? Oh, well, that's several, Ms. Andy. You see, on the crayons, they are put a key. Wait a minute. Lightening, don't you know that crayons starts with a C? Yeah, do. Certainly. They are O-U-T-O-N-F crayons. [laughter] Well, you ain't giving away many presents this year. Here's the Ms. Andy. No, I got a little something for Amos and Ruby. These toy soldiers I got for Anna's juniors, all right. But I don't know if Abadela's going to like these crayons or not. Oh, sure she'll like them. Anyway, what do you know what you like and what you do like, Ms. Andy? Well, there's a trouble, Lightening. I do know what you like. Well, don't make no difference. You flat busted anyway. Yeah, and that's what's troubling me. I was broke and say, "Lightening, what time is it?" Oh, here's about one o'clock, Ms. Andy. One o'clock? I'll just get an idea here, Lightening. Let me get up here. I think I'm going to take a walk down to that department store on the corner. ♪♪ Come in. Do you want to see me? Uh, I guess so. Is you the gentleman to do the hiring for the department store? That's right. My name is Simmons. Yeah, well, I was wondering if you needed any extra sales help for this last minute rush this afternoon. I was worked hard. Well, we did need extra help up until this morning. But I think we can get through the rest of the day with the sales people we have. Oh, well, thank you just the same. Say, wait just a minute. Uh, yes, sir, yes. Maybe you can help us. Uh, what's that? Well, one of our Santa Claus helpers was called home. His wife was taken ill suddenly and, well, we could use somebody to take his place. Do you think you could do it? Uh, be Santa Claus's helper. That's right. Well, I had never done it before and I don't, uh, show, show, I can do it. Fine, fine. You'll go down to see Mr. Walker on the fourth floor. He'll give you a Santa Claus suit and whiskers. And come back here and I'll tell you just what you're supposed to do. Yes, sir, thank you, sir, thank you. Well, Mr. Brown, you look very well in that outfit. Yes, sir. I see you've got that pillow in there just right. That ain't no pillow, that's me. Well, I think you're going to make a fine Santa Claus, Mr. Brown. Now, you just put on these whiskers and hats and you're all set. Yes, sir, now, what must I do, Mr. Simmons? Well, uh, you can get into the toy department right through the back door of my office here. The Santa Claus chair is right there, and that's it. And I just sit there and talk to the children, huh? That's right. You just have the children come up one at a time and if you run into any difficulties of any kind, just call the floor walker. Yes, sir. If I were in trouble, I'll call the floor walker. Good luck, Santa. Right through that door there. Thank you, sir. Thank you. Well, there's the Santa Claus chair. A lot of children are waiting on little children. Oh, they don't spot them, ain't they? Hey, quiet, quiet, quiet, dear, quiet. Wait a minute, wait a minute. I've got to sit down here and get started. All right, Sonny. Ha, ha, ha. You is first. Come right up here and sit on Santa Claus' lap. Ha, ha, ha. That's the boy. Now, tell Santa Claus, uh, what did you want for Christmas? I won a hop-along Cassidy hat, a hop-along Cassidy shirt, hop-along Cassidy's purse, hop-along Cassidy's belt, hop-along Cassidy's gun, hop-along Cassidy's boots, and a hop-along Cassidy toothbrush. Well, and tell me something, little fella, just who is your favorite cowboy star? Roy Rogers. [laughter] Hey, uh, you was a nice little boy. You know what? What is your name? Sammy Jackson. Well, tell me something, Sammy. You've been a good boy? Yes. I ought to know that, but I'll ask him. Ha, ha. You look like a smart little fella. I bet you were smart in school. No, I ain't. You ain't smart in school? No, I ain't. I bet you try hard, though, don't you? No, I don't. Well, uh... [laughter] You gonna try hard after you go back after the vacation, though, ain't you? No, I ain't. I ain't. Never gonna try hard 'cause I hate school. And there ain't nothing you can do about it. Oh, floor walker! [laughter] Can you come over here, floor walker? If I get everything I ask for, I'll try hard. Never mind, floor walker. That's a good little boy, Sammy. You just hang up your stock and then everything gonna be alright. Okay, thank you, Santa Claus. Yeah. Am I next? Yeah, you was next. My mind. Say, you was a sweet little girl. Now, what can Santa do for a pretty little girl like you? Mommy said, "When I came up here, I could sit on your lap." Oh, sure, yeah. Let me lift you up here. Hmm, there you is. You as light as a fella. What's your name, honey? A Trisha Washington. Mm-hmm, that's a pretty name, too. And that's a pretty little coach you got on there. My mother made it for me. She made my hat, too. Well, Patricia, I suppose you come up to tell me what you want for Christmas. No, Santa. I wrote you a letter about that. I just came up to visit with you. Oh, well, that was nice of you, yeah. I get when you've been out to live in presents all Christmas Eve. When you get home, you must be awfully tired, Santa Claus. Uh, yeah, guess I is pretty tired of that, yeah. And I'll bet your little girl comes up to you and throws her arms around you like I do when my daddy comes home tired. Well, uh, no, honey, my little girl don't do that 'cause, you see, I don't have no little girl. I live by myself. All by yourself? All by myself. Then, just for the day, I'll be your little girl. Here. Oh, thank you, honey. Thank you very much. I...I... My Santa Claus, didn't you like it having a little girl hug and kiss you? I noticed there's a kid running down your cheek. Oh, no, honey. I like that more than I could ever tell you. But don't you pay no attention to that, dear. It's just that at Christmas time, your eyes are liable to do funny things to you. And I'll tell you something else, too. Santa is really gonna come to your house there here. Thank you. Merry Christmas, Santa Claus. Merry Christmas to you, honey. All right, who's next? I'm next. Come right up, Sonny. What's your name? Jonathan Waldorf Curtis Higgins. The third. Yeah, well, I'll just call you Johnny. Now, what do you want for Christmas, Johnny? Wait a minute. Before I tell you, are you the real Santa Claus? Well, uh, I have Santa Claus as a helper. Well, I guess that's okay. But I don't like doing business with no middleman. Oh, ha, ha, ha. You know, talking to me is just like talking to Santa yourself. I got to slay and the reindeers and everything. Oh, yeah. Well, all right, then. Just what are the reindeers' names? Uh, you want to know the reindeers' names? Well, if you're Santa Claus' helper, you ought to know the names. Yeah, well, there's, uh, Donna, Blitzen, Thunder, Francis, and, uh, uh, stinking blank in the knot. (LAUGHTER) What do you want for Christmas, Johnny? I want to let you train. I want to bicycle. And I want to model their playing with the real gasoline engine. Yeah, well, that's all pretty expensive stuff, but... I don't know if you're going to get all of that. Oh, you don't, huh? No. Say, ain't over here a minute. Got it. I mean, uh, well, well, what do you want? Now, listen, Bert. Do I get that stuff, or do I have to punch you in the noodle for all these kids? Oh, flow walker! (LAUGHTER) Uh, well, Sonny... Do you see this, Visc? Uh, never mind, flow walker. Okay, you'll get the stuff. I'd better. Yeah, all right, all right. Uh, who's next? I am Santa Claus. Oh, step right up, Sonny. Yes, sir. And what's your name? William Smith. Yeah, well, William, I suppose a big fella like you want a cowboy suit for Christmas, too, huh? Nope. Electric train? Nope. Bicycle? Nope. Fair box of gloves? Nope. Well, tell me, William, what would you like? A baby sister. (LAUGHTER) You want a baby sister? Yes, how can I get one? Oh, flow walker! (LAUGHTER) (LAUGHTER) Well, you're looking a little worn out, Mr. Brown. Oh, yeah, I had a little tired. I never talked to so many kids in all my life. These days cute, though. You did very well. All the children seemed very happy, and the parents were just standing there beaming. Yes, sir. Well, thank you, sir. We certainly appreciate it. Have you here this afternoon? Yes, sir. Well, I enjoyed it, too. And, of course, like I told you, when I made the deal with you, I'd done it for a special reason. Yes, and here it is, Mr. Brown. I had the stock boy take it out of the window. The talking doll. (APPLAUSE) The instant Andy Christmas show is being brought to you by the makers of Rinso, the only soap in all the world that contains sollium. (MUSIC) Well, that brings us up to this evening, which is Christmas Eve. Andy, with his arms full of presents, has come up to Amos's apartment. Well, come in, Andy. Merry Christmas, boy. Hey, Amos. Is the kids around? Oh, no, it is all in bed. The last one, she just went to bed a few months ago. Yeah, well, I didn't want the kids to see me come in with these packages. Let me put them down here under the tree. Oh, gee, you got a lot of stuff, Andy. It looked like you didn't forget nobody. Where's Ruby? Well, she and Obama went to church for Christmas Eve services, and I kind of babysit them with the children tonight. Well, I got a present here for you, Amos. Oh, thank you, Andy. And here's something for your wife, Ruby, and here's something for a mama. And I got a box of them toy soldiers here for Junior. Oh, that's wonderful. What you got in that big box, then? Oh, that's a special gift, Amos. That's for Abadella. Abadella? Yeah, I didn't put no card on it, so just tell her that this is from Santa Claus. Oh, Andy, she was wonderful to the kids, not only on Christmas, but all the time, boys. Well, you know, Amos, I ain't never had none of my own, so I guess the next best thing is kind of being an Uncle Andy to all of yours. Yeah, why are you headed for now, Andy? Well, I'm going to spend Christmas Eve with the Kingfish. We're putting on a little dinner party. We done bought a 12-pound turkey. Oh, that's nice. How many is your hair going to be? Just me and him. Well, Amos, I'll be running along and wish everybody a Merry Christmas for you. Merry Christmas to you too, Andy. I going back with Abadella now. I see she's asleep. You know how kids this is on Christmas Eve? Yeah, well, so long Amos. Thanks again, Andy. See you tomorrow, Merry Christmas. (Singing) Well, Abadella, look at you. I thought you'd be found asleep by now, and that you was sitting up in bed. Oh, Daddy, I'm so excited. I don't think I can sleep tonight. Yeah, well, honey, everybody's got asleep tonight. Of course, Santa's coming in the morning, but you can't stay awake all night. He won't come if people will stay awake. How long before you'll be here, Daddy? Well, I tell you, you put your hair down on the pillar and go to sleep. Now, if you will sleep, it'll only seem like one minute before Santa will be here. All right, Daddy. I'll try. Are you giving me an excited go, Daddy? Well, I guess all little kids are excited tonight. Daddy, can I turn on the little radio before I go to sleep? Well, just for a minute or two, I'll snap it on for you. Yeah, you did. Now, let it warm up for a few seconds. We don't want to wake up your little brother and name us, Andrew. Come, you've never wake them up, Daddy. Well, let me just straighten your cover down a little bit. Did you set your prayers? Mommy's with my prayers before she went out, Daddy. The Christmas choir continues with the Lord's Prayer. Well, now get under the cover, honey. Daddy, could you get some Christmas music on the radio? Why, darling, this is the very best Christmas music you could get. There's going to sing the Lord's Prayer. Well, I can sing the Lord's Prayer with Mommy. She's been teaching it to me. Yes, I know she is. What does the Lord's Prayer mean, Daddy? Well, it means an awful lot, and with the world like it is today, it seems to have a bigger meaning than ever before. Well, what does the Lord's Prayer really mean, Daddy? The Lord's Prayer, well, darling, I'll explain it to you. Well, where you going? Yeah, now you lay down and you listen. I. Now, the first line of the Lord's Prayer is this. Our Father, which art in heaven. Now, that means Father of all that is good, where no wrong can ever dwell. And then it says, "Halle would be thy name." Now, that means, darling, that we should love and respect all that is good. And then it says, "After that, thy kingdom comes, thy will be done in earth as it is in heaven." Now, that means, darling, as we clean our hearts of all hate and selfishness and fill our hearts with the love, the good, the true, and the beautiful, and earth where we are now will be just like heaven. That was wonderful, Daddy. Then it says, "Give us this day our daily bread." Now, that means to feed our hearts and minds with kindness, with love, and with courage, which will make us strong for our daily task. And then, after that, the next line of the Lord's Prayer is, "And forgive us our debtors as we forgive our debtors." Do you remember the golden rule? Well, that means that we must keep the golden rule and do unto others as we would want them to do unto us. And then it says, "And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil." Now, that means, my darling, to ask God to help us do and to see and to think right, so that we will neither be led or tempted by anything that is bad. For dying is the kingdom, the power, and the glory forever, all men. Now, that means darling, and all the world, and everything, and it belongs to God's kingdom, everything. Your mommy, your daddy, your little brother, your sister, your grandma, you and everybody. And as we know that and act as if we know it, that my darling daughter is the real spirit of Christmas. That's good, Daddy. Well, now I get out and cut off the radio and let you go to sleep. Good night, Daddy. Good night, sweetheart. Daddy, we'll leave the little radio on when I go to sleep. All right, I'll leave it on, and you can listen to some Christmas music. Hallelujah! Hallelujah! Hallelujah! Hallelujah! Hallelujah! Hallelujah! Hallelujah! Hallelujah! Hallelujah! Glory to the newborn King. Some call him one day. I think I'll say Emmanuel. Glory to God. Glory to the newborn King. They're taking him on their shoulder. They're taking him on their shoulder. Glory to the newborn King. They're taking him on your shoulder. Glory to the newborn King. She's asleep. Merry Christmas, my darling. Hallelujah! Hallelujah! Hallelujah! Hallelujah! Folks, speaking for everybody in our show here, the cast, our writers, Joe Connolly, Bob Moja, and Bob Ross. I'm musical director, Jeff Alexander, his orchestra, and chorus. And for Levi Brothers Company, the people who make friends so it's all. You and Andy want to wish you a very Merry Christmas to you, your families, and the finest new year ever. Merry Christmas, everybody. Good night, folks. See you next time. [applause] Today millions of men, women, and children of Europe and Asia are still under nurse. In spite of the aid given to our government, the continued help of individuals is needed to combat malnutrition and disease. You can help these needy people by sending a food or clothing package through care. Why not send your contribution today to the care office in your community? And make sure to join us again at the same time. Next Sunday New Year's Eve, when Lieber Brothers Company, the makers of Renzo with Sonium, will again prevent the aidless at Andy Show. This is Ken Niles speaking. Ryan Seacrest here. When you have a busy schedule, it's important to maximize your downtime. One of the best ways to do that is by going to chumbacassino.com. Chumbacassino has all your favorite social casino games, like spin slots, bingo, and solitaire that you can play for free for a chance to redeem some serious prizes. So hop on to chumbacassino.com now and live the Chumbalife. Sponsored by Chumbacassino. No purchase necessary. VGW Group. 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