Amos N Andy Daily
Amos n Andy - The Stolen Car
https://www.solgoodmedia.com - Listen to hundreds of audiobooks, thousands of short stories, and ambient sounds all ad free! Join us every day for Amos n Andy Daily, where we revisit the humor and social satire that made Amos 'n' Andy a staple of American entertainment. Each episode offers a unique glimpse into the lives of the show’s beloved characters, from the comedic escapades of Amos Jones and Andy Brown to the bustling community of Harlem. Ideal for listeners seeking a blend of laughter and a snapshot of historical societal commentary through timeless radio comedy
- Duration:
- 29m
- Broadcast on:
- 01 Jul 2024
- Audio Format:
- mp3
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Okay, to join me is sponsored by Chumbak Casino, no purchase necessary, VGW Group, void were prohibited by law, 18 plus, terms and conditions apply. The A-M-S-A-N-D show, with Francine White, Loub and Johnny Lee, Jeff Alexander, his orchestra and radio's all time famous, A-M-S-A-N-D, brought to you by a leaver by this company, makers of new 1950 Rinso with Salium, the soap that gets you to clothes wider and brighter than you. A few weeks ago, the kingfish came into possession of a rather ancient automobile, which he's now trying to sell. The US car dealers laughed, the newspapers wouldn't even accept his ad, so finally he's fallen back on what he knows of experience is his most likely customer. Well, there you is, Andrew. Yeah, isn't it a beauty? Yeah, tell me, you haven't seen a car like this before? No, I can't say I is. Sorry, I was only 42 years old. Well, Andrew, just coming in, oh, you know, it was one of the last models that was made in 1926. It was a great ship. It's had 300,000 miles of careful garbage. Look at it, a nice, light blue color with a yellow playground. Yeah, you know, I've been looking at the thing here. Just what make is this, kingfish. It don't look like nothing that I've ever seen. Well, I'll spend that for you, Andrew. You see, over the years, this beautiful car has got to be a combination of the best features of a lot of different make. Well, it is. Is that a romantic? Well, certainly, where else is you going to find a car with a such bare cat motor and a lot of ethics, we're in. Look at your hands, tell you what, why don't you hop in the car there and start to move it up there and listen to some nice running. Yeah, I'll get around over here. Hey, kingfish, there ain't no door here on the driver's side. Well, they're supposed to be in there with the emergency exit. There's about 105 department, the other feed door is open at all, you see. I'll go ahead and I'll sit behind the wheel there and start up, son. I'll push the button and listen to a purr. I'll crank it at the same time to push there, go ahead. You know what, it sounds like the bear's trying to claw its way out to me. Tell me this, how come it's stall like that? Oh, ain't nothing serious, animals like to dig gasoline in one of their muck hands must be jammed in the fans' mission day, you know? I don't know about this car, I like them new ones, but I go a right-of-drive on them. I'll tell you what, though, my percentage of the price was right. How much you want for it? Well, I know it appears price is $20, but if you want it, it's like the motor in the wheels is running up there. Well, that stuff be $400. $400? Kingfish, I ain't interested in the car. You mean? No, definitely not. I don't want no part of that car, and don't ever mention it to me again, neither. Keep an open mind on it, eh? I'll tell you, sleep over the thing overnight, we'll request it again tomorrow. No, all right. Why are you going out, Kingfish? Well, let's see what time it is, uh, six o'clock. I've got to take Sapphire to some dance tonight. I think I'll step on into Lord Ford here and take a little catnip. You know I was a little tired, isn't it? [Music] Oh, must have left a life on. Wait a minute. That life's coming from the outside. Must be the northern light. [Laughter] Mm, maybe that's the Aurora Boric ethic going on. [Laughter] Oh, let me look at my wife here and see what time it is. Holy smokes, it's five o'clock in the morning. Where is I? I've got to get home. I've got to take Sapphire to a dance date hours ago. [Laughter] Oh, me. I'm late. What'll I do? Now, let's see. Wait a minute, that's funny. My car ain't in front of the law, it's all here. Well, that's it. I wonder who. Holy smokes, it's way down the end of the block. Who in the world has been using my car? Well, I can't worry about it now. I've got to get home and get there quick on me. [Music] Well, I'll get on in the house here. Good, ain't no lights on. Thank goodness, Sapphire is still asleep. I've got to be careful. This is like going into a cage of wild bears. [Laughter] Is that you, George Davis? Oh, the old Chris was awake. [Laughter] Good morning, sweetheart. I thought I'd hit the wall early this morning. I got dressed and made my bear up and everything. Just even though it's... Don't do Jimmy's bear. Why don't you get on that? Well, now, look here, honey. You wouldn't believe me if I told you. I will believe you, George. I tell you, you won't believe me. I will believe you. All right, I told you stop at the law. I didn't wake up till now. I don't believe you. [Laughter] Well, but that's the truth, honey. I was there for 11 hours. It was one of the deepest doses I ever had. [Laughter] Looky, I had three cups of coffee before. I went under. I still be going. [Laughter] Not only that, George Davis, but you were supposed to take me to a dance last night. Yeah, I know. I had to go to the same. I had sorted and nobody danced with me. It was your place to be there. Well, that wouldn't have done no good. I can't force nobody to dance with you. [Laughter] Hey, I was tired a lot of times there. Made a lot of animals that way. Say, there's some other way as you. By that chance, did you come over to Loy's Hall and use my car to go to that dance? George, you must be out of your hair. I wouldn't go near that old car. Well, that's paying somebody to move my car. I parked in front of the Loy's Hall this morning and I found it a block away from there where I parked it. Listen, I ain't interested in your old car. And what's more, you certainly got so nervous. I'm coming home at this hour and expecting me to believe a trumped-up story like that. Why don't you think I am? No, how? Listen, if I told you it would only start another argument. [Laughter] I don't want to talk to you no more. I'm going in the bedroom, coming in here with a crazy story like that. You are the fine way. All I does is ask for a little understanding and I don't get it. I'll tell you one thing, Sapphire. It'll be a dark day before I ask you for anything again. That's just me fine, you think, Bob? [Laughter] Well, I made up that expression about a man, but I have. I ought to get a load of her. [Laughter] Well, I ain't going to be able to go back to sleep now. I'll just sit up here in the front room. I'll turn on the radio. Oh, me. Well, you've really got its problems already. The current developments on the European front up to this moment. Now for the local scene. Considering pre-dawn robbery, a lone gunman fertilized the Robin's jewelry store on Lennox Avenue. A loss of over $2,000 in jewels was reported. The only clue to the identification of the gunman is that he made his getaway in a light blue sedan with a yellow stripe around it. The store on the driver side was missing. Oh, me. What do you say? The police have started a city-wide hunt in Washington, the Congress. Oh, let's move. So that's what's happening in my car. Oh, me. It was used in a robbery. They can't send us on me. They could be, uh, or candy. Oh, me. Sapphire, I've got to talk to you. I need your help. You need my help. You've certainly got a short memory. Only a one minute ago you said it would be a dog day. But so you have asked me for anything again. Only the eclipse is here. (Applause) (Whistling) Happy little birthday song! For what's that title entitled and new? Rinto what is Rinto new? Rinto what? Why did it end you? Rinto what? Right it end you. Rinto what? Rinto what? Rinto new? Rinto new. Rinto new. It's the amazing fact. 1950 Rinto was soleum gets white clothes whiter, washable colors brighter than new. Rinto new. Even on rainy days Rinto put sunshine in your wash. No other soap can make your wash so white, so bright. Because no other soap contains the scientific sunlight ingredient, soleum. 1950 Rinto gets out more dirt. Yes, gets out more dirt than any other type of wash day product. Yet Rinto is so safe for clothes. So kind your hands. Rinto today see your wash become whiter, brighter than new. Rinto, Rinto, Rinto, Rinto. Rinto new. Happy little birthday song! (Music) Oh come in Hunter. Hello King. Hey what's wrong with you? I never see you look so worried. Well I hear Hunter but I just can't tell you about it. Oh King Frank, you can confide in me. After all, I have been your intricate friend for years. (Laughter) If you read in the paper book that you wrote to Robert. Yes I did. Well Henry, my car was used in that robbery. The police was looking for the car. The thing is, I was asleep in the large hall doing the robbery. So I ain't got no alibi approved as I didn't pull the job. Well again, nobody that could testify that you were sleeping there. Nobody's seen me, I ain't got no witness. Yes, she was in the pit of a jam. On top of having no alibi, your absence at the dance last night had everybody talking. They did, huh? Oh yes. Sapphire tried to cover it up by saying you was working. That's brought down the house. (Laughter) Henry, this thing is closing in on me. What must I do? Well, the only way to take and make you with the crime is through the car. The obvious thing is to dispose of the car. Yeah that's right, dispose of the car. I think I know just that the spools are unit to use. Yeah. I'm going to get rid of that car fast because they can convict me and that you were so robbery on certain financial evidence. No one. Yes they could. Why isn't it nothing, huh? Yes I'd say you were a King Frank. Now listen, Henry, you don't buy no chance. I think that I committed you with so robbery, don't you? Oh no, King Frank, I've known you for a long time. I know your habits and your character. You would never commit any such crime. Thanks, Henry. Doesn't make me feel better. By the way, when the heat is off, I hope you let me have first crack in that jewelry. Yeah. Well, come in, brother, Henry. Hey, Kingsley, you don't have a message up at my place for me to come over here. What do you want to see me about? Well, an old pal. Hold it, hold it right there. Whatever it is, I don't want to hear about it. Yeah, well, what's the matter, then? Listen, I don't want to hear nothing to start out with, and the old pal. I can never afford it. Oh, and I asked you to come over here to do you a film. Oh, what's that? And I don't reconsider about that car, mind. I don't care what you've done. I ain't paying no $400 for that junkie. Well, that's what I'm just getting at, Andrew. All right, that's what I'm just getting at, Andrew. I just don't share the price a little. If you ask for it, you can have the thing for $2. $2? Well, I don't know, Kingsley. Would you take the car off? I'll give you $2. That is the truth, Kingsley. Would you take the car off? I'll give you $400. Listen, Kingsley, the thing I want to know is why is you so anxious to get rid of this car all of a sudden? Well, Andrew, I can see that you ain't hear about the economic conditions of the country. What you mean by that, now? Well, you remember last year I had automobile business money from a seller's market to a buyer's market? Yeah, I hear something about that. Well, yesterday the thing took a turn for the worst. It's now what they call a giver's market. That's it? You'll mean the thinking, Fish, you want to give me the car for nothing? Yeah, and I know when I was like, boy, you really got an overbarrow. Yeah, you really sense the trend at the time, you know? I did. Oh, you're still playing dumb on me. Ha, ha, ha. You was a slickier. [LAUGHTER] I know when I was feet, Andrew. Yeah, look here, I got a contract all filled up here. I don't know where to sign my name on it. Right there, we're just victims. See there, there's my name. [LAUGHTER] Oh, yeah, well, I guess I was pretty smart all right. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Take the pen, put your John Hancock right there, right on them dots, right on top of them. OK, Kingsley. Hey, look here, I just noticed them. You don't date it this thing wrong. This is dated last Wednesday. Well, yes, Andrew, now I had to make the things retroactive so that you owned the car as of last Wednesday, you see. Yes, he does this Sunday. And Sunday's always been illegal business for everybody. It's up to delicate tests and stories, you know, something like that. [LAUGHTER] Right right there, and right on them dots, right on top of them. Well, all right, all right. Put them in full name there, there. There you is. Andrew Hogg Brown. [LAUGHTER] Congratulations, Andrew, now full fled, retroactive car. What do we do, kickback? Yeah, you know, Kingfish for a minute there. I think he was trying to kick me. But like you say, I was too smart for you. [LAUGHTER] Oh, hi, Amos, come in. Come in. Hello there, boy. Hey, Kingfish. I just saw in the Hinder Van Porter, that's terrible. You'll call being used in that hole up last night. What was that? Don't bring both your car down there. And if there's any way I can help in your trouble, just call on me. See you later. Hey, Kingfish, you sit right where you are. You ain't going no place. Yeah, well, now wait a minute. Let go of my neck. You sit back down there. Oh, well, let's now take it easy. Kingfish, I'm going to beat you to a pulp. Then I'm going to beat up the pulp. [LAUGHTER] Now, wait a minute, Andrew. You wouldn't hit a man who weighed 130 pounds and was shorter than you was, would you? Yeah, I'd enjoy it in the man's shorter than I had. All right, then. You and Amos, right. I'm going to get out here. OK, all right. That's it, Kingfish. Look at him. Nothing, boy. Look here. There ain't no time to fight. Whoever holds that car ought to go to the police is saying the thing. Yeah, well, why don't you take it as it was? And Amos is going to help you. Now, listen here, Kingfish. And believe me, you will be the owner of the car. Hey, is that right, Anna? I don't know, Amos. I just signed a radioactive contract. [LAUGHTER] All right, put my John Hammock on it and everything else. [LAUGHTER] All I know is, boy, is that whoever holds that car better go to the police and get the same Satan out or there's going to be real trouble. So long, fellas. Is that Amos going to the police? Why do he always want to do things in a roundabout way, hasn't it? [LAUGHTER] Kingfish. Now, about me being revolved in this thing. Now, don't try to back out of it, Andrew. You was already signed a contract on top of that. You was revolved in another way. You remember about two weeks ago, you was with me when I bought them seat covers for the car? Yeah, well, what about it? Well, you saw me buy the material, didn't you? Yeah. There you were, you were the material witness. [LAUGHTER] [LAUGHTER] [LAUGHTER] Wait a minute here. Now, just a minute. [LAUGHTER] Listen, Kingfish. Oh, not only that. But you was with me when I bought the horn for the car. So you was obsessed with it, too. [LAUGHTER] [LAUGHTER] And you was in this thing, having dozen different ways. [LAUGHTER] You know, Kingfish, I can get more trouble doing nothing than anybody I know. [LAUGHTER] [LAUGHTER] Well, don't worry, Andy. Well, I go stand by in your time of need. That's the stuff. Now you're talking. What can I do to get out of this mess? Well, Andy, I kind of been mulling over the same for a while. I've been talking here. I think it doesn't boil myself up angle here. Sure. Well, yeah. If the ponies are looking for a light blue car, why don't we paint the things in some of the colors? Yeah, yeah. You got something there, King. Yeah. Then the police, you never catch up with us. What color do you think we ought to paint it? Well, we don't want to paint it. No color that's going to attract attention. No. We don't want to use them today, because pictures, you know. Yeah. I tell you, we'll paint it that dark red color, that's what they call it. Oh, that's a great color. Let's call them macaroons, yeah, yeah. [MUSIC PLAYING] Well, Andy, we showed on a nice paint job on that car. Look at that. You don't look bad standing there at the curb doing it. No, no, that's a nice shade of macaroon, all right. [LAUGHTER] Yeah, the police ain't ever going to come after us now, is it? Oh, no, they're looking for a blue car, you see. We got a red one. We used it in the clear already. Oh, yeah. Oh, the macaroons. What's the matter, Andy? Look who's riding down the street here on one of them new two feet of tandem bicycles. Mm-hmm. Sorry to bother. Now I have seen everything. Well, hello there, Georgia. Where are we? Down, down the hoodie. Imagine. I never expected to see. I'll be-- I'll be-- I'll be-- I'll be-- I'll be-- I'll be-- I'll be-- I'll be-- I'll be-- I'll be-- I'll be-- I'll be-- I'll be-- [APPLAUSE] Hey, uh, Georgia. Georgia, that's-- uh, tandem bicycle you got there. That is really something. Oh, yeah, yeah. Me and my dad have been having nice rides here. Whizzing around, calling for everything. Oh, by the way, fellas, I'd like you to meet my dad. Uh, come here, we'd be able to do this. It gives me big pleasure to see you. Hey, uh, how's it up? Well, well, well, well, well. Wait a minute. [LAUGHTER] Yeah, you must, uh, launch the offer there someplace, Georgie. Yeah, well, that's life. [LAUGHTER] Uh, thank you, Inspector. Didn't this car, no, it used to be light blue. How come you're playing with it? Well, now, look, Georgia, keep your big mouth closed for this. But somebody used this car in the jurisole robbery. Is that car complete? That's right. Whoa, whoa, then. The blue fellas is in awful trouble. Well, what do you mean, Georgia? Well, not just a twin twin fellas, but the janitor of the Leonard Farm apartment in, uh, everybody. He was up in my barbershop this morning. He-- he was telling me that a woman that lives in the apartment is 622 in that building. She-- she-- she sees the robbery. You mean that a woman in apartment is 622 sees the robbery, Georgia? Oh, yeah. [LAUGHTER] Yeah, it seems that she managed to get the last few numbers of the license plates, and she decided to pay the information over to the police for the first thing tomorrow morning. And you know what that means, then? Yeah, I hope I get outside cell, that's all. [LAUGHTER] Sorry, tell me this. Who is this woman? You know anything about her? Well, all I know is that the janitor will tell me that he has always entered all kinds of contests that were at last prior to win five wins. And those contests are-- see, wait a minute. You know where in them? Yeah, we were to get this woman out of town where she couldn't go to the police tomorrow. And I think that contests are-- give us an angle we need. Yeah, if she gives the police that license, then we're going to be in terrible trouble. You know that. Oh, what? You tell me that don't be silly. He-- he-- he-- he-- he-- they put you in there. They-- they-- they couldn't keep you there. Oh, they couldn't show us? No, no, you-- you could-- you could get a bad bear bomb from it. You could-- you could get out on the grid. I'll get a-- you could get out on the grid. You-- you could get out of a heavy-- a couple of years of-- [indistinct chatter] We're about hot sauce. Friends, I wish Amos and Andy were on television tonight because I have here twelve beautiful Christmas cards that I wish all of you could see. They're really handsome, colorful cards. Each a friend of a winter scene by a famous American artist. Now, you'd say the set of twelve cards is a big dollar value, but here's a surprise. You can get them all for just twenty-five cents and a Rinto box top. Yes? Twelve cards would envelope for twenty-five cents and a Rinto box top. But you must hurry. There's only a limited supply. The address is Rinto Christmas card club, Box 30, New York 8. This offers limited to the Continental United States, the last gun of Hawaii. Allow three weeks for delivery, but hurry, avoid the last minute Christmas rush. Ten, twenty-five cents and a Rinto box top to Rinto Christmas card club, Box 30, New York 8. Do it today. Well, Andy, here's a woman's apartment, six twenty-two, a name as Michigan. Now, remember, the whole thing is to get her out of town. Oh, she can't give a cop-down license on me. Yeah, we're going to use that contest. Hang on around. Yeah, that's it. Everybody in town has done enter that Crystal Crunchy Contest. Yeah. And if she plays about contest, she's turned over to be in that one. I'll ring the bell, you know. Don't forget I was the head of the company and I knew it was a cheap contest there. How do you do? Oh, madam, allow me to congratulate you. I was here to tell you that you was the winner of the Crystal Crunchy Contest. Oh, you mean that I won the contest? Well, who did you come in? Well, thank you. Thank you. Well, that was introduced ourselves. I was Mr. Crystal President of the Outfit, and I was Mr. Crunchy couldn't make it today. But this gentleman here is the Judge of the Memory Contest, the famous poet, Henry Wadsworth Brown. A real poet? Oh, how charming. I've always wanted to be a real poet. Oh, likewise. Yeah, he is one of the top men's in the racket. Yeah, he wrote some great poetry under the village, Missy. This whole piece, no laughter. Oh, send him to the stadium, poetry, Wadsworth. Uh, uh, roses, red, violet, blue. I was happy to meet up with you. Oh, that's it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He's a genius, huh? Oh, tell me. I'm sorry. I'm sorry to buy a winner in the contest. Which one of my memories won it? Uh, which one is the... Yes, I said him three. Uh, well, I'll tell you, Miss. Oh, three of them won. You won win, please, the show, yes. That's right, sir. You won the contest right across the board. Oh, this is so exciting. When is it coming, Miss? Mm-hmm. Now, when do I get to $10,000? Well, we brought the... we brought the... we brought... Where you see? That is, uh, $10,000, uh... Don't stand there, Wadsworth. Say something. Uh, roses, red, violet. Uh, uh, excuse me for protruding, Miss. But you said something about the tent. Is that in the table? The first side was $10,000. Now, well, Miss, uh, I guess you read the rules of the contest, but you ain't read 'em carefully enough. You say the first prize was $10,000, or... or trip to Boston. Now, you've done one to all part of the contest. Well, I don't want to go to Boston. Would you care to try for this, won't I? I don't want to go to no place. I just want to get my money. Well, now, look here, Miss. But don't be a soul winner. Now, here, you're taking the Boston train leaves at 9.15, and you'll have to hurry. Well, I guess I'll get some out of this contest, and I do have some friends I could stay with. Well, here's the ticket. Hope you have a nice trip. Oh, yeah, this is the best time to see Boston right now, right away. Well, I'll get packed now, but I wish I wasn't leading till tomorrow morning. I was going someplace with my sister in the morning. Yeah, sister. Yeah, and she saw Roblin. She's going to the police station to give them the license numbers. Uh, me, uh, give me back that ticket later. Uh, why's well, you better take another look at them memories, you know? So long, lady. Yes, yes, yes. What do you think? Roses is red. Violets. The things didn't work, and I think we are through. Andy, when the police gets our license number tomorrow morning, we're really going to be in trouble. Oh, yeah, I was really getting scared, think of it. Hey, look who's coming into the drug store there. Okay, you got a briefcase under his arms. Yeah, the cow who, the politician, come on up here. Hello there, boys. I ain't seen you in a long time. Hey, cow, who is in trouble? Could we retain you as a lawyer to defend us? Sorry, I'm moving right along. We need your help. Sorry, I'm moving right along. We got $10 in cash. I don't come to a boom stop. Listen, here's the thing, Mr. Calhoun. The car we got was used in that big jewelry store, Roblin. And the police got your license number. Well, the thing for you to do with this is with license plates. Oh, yeah, yeah. You mean switch the front one to the back and the back one to the back. Kingfish, I've got a lame ring. Well, this ring, yeah, you've got a compound fracture. Yeah, look, and the cow who's got a good idea there. Look, yeah, I just remembered. Right after this last New Year's Day, one of the large brothers went to Florida and left his car with my customer. His end is not in the back of the large hole. They've been sitting there since New Year's Day. Yeah, we can take our plates off home away and put his plates on alcohol. Oh, yeah, they'll never get to that way. Oh, this is big, Calhoun. But one thing, if the police do catch it, if you've got any experience in defunding these kind of cases. Parents, when one of my biggest cases, I defended a fellow that's telling me. Yeah, well, what happened with the thing? Nothing to it. I asked for a short trial, made a short speech to the jury, and asked for a short sentence. Well, how did your client come out? Oh, no! [MUSIC PLAYING] Well, King Feige, we sure got out of that mess, all right? Yeah, Andy, we're them license plates from that other car on here. We ain't got nothing to worry about now. Yeah, I'm breathing a lot easier now. Yeah, yeah, and you know something my car never runs, but I done had to more to tune up me a little bit. Wait a minute, your car. King Feige, ain't you got the future tense mess up with the past popsicle or something like that? What do you mean, Ana? Well, after all, King Feige, I don't sign a contract saying you give me this thing. And look, I don't mean to explain this to you that that contract was on the base of a quick term option. And you'll find that on first fire, ain't got no more rate than this thing. Wait a minute here, this is the dirtiest thing you don't ever pull off. Well, you were through with the car, I belonged to me. Aw, wait a minute, I don't know what to have nothing to do with you again. Stop this car, and let me get out of here. Well, all right, that's the way you feel about it. It's all right with me, I'll stop the car. All right, get out of here. Come on, you big bomb, I never want to fix you again. Yeah, go ahead. That boy sure is a store here. Ain't no sense of trying to be nice and nobody, that's what we are thinking of. Oh, what is this, what is this here? All right, funny, get your hands up there, don't find anything funny. Well, now, wait a minute, Officer, you got the wrong man. I didn't have nothing to do with that you restore, Robbie. You restore, we cleared up that case this morning. Well, then, you don't, well, you won't be needing me there, huh? Oh, yes, we will. Those lights and plates identify you as a man who held up the United States post office last new year's day. Oh, wait a minute! You know, Andy, in my way, says there's one thing all women agree on. Oh, yeah, well, I suppose I am kind of good-looking. Yeah, but what he meant was that they all agree about Rinso. More women use Rinso than any other wash dates open the world. Rinso gets quite close, finer than you, washable colors, brighter than you, because only Rinso contains solium. Rinso is great for dishes, too. Rinso makes the hardest part of dishwashing easier, pots and pans positively shine. Get the economic of giant size Rinso right away. Stay tuned for the Edgar Bergen Charlie McCarty program, which follows immediately over most of these days. Good night, folks. See you next Sunday. 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