Amos N Andy Daily
Amos n Andy - The Broken Clock
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- Duration:
- 29m
- Broadcast on:
- 28 Jun 2024
- Audio Format:
- mp3
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Right now, the Kingfish is on the platform before the members completing a speech of tribute. Andie is sitting on the stage right in back of him. And so, fellow members, I is proud to pay tribute to our brother here on the platform of St. Andrew H. Brown, who has done dinner now large for 20 years. before Mr. Brown applied for membership with our large. The census of opinion was that Andy was a bum. He didn't have no money. He didn't have no business. He'd never know where he was going to sleep from one week to the next. Now let's look at him now and the progress that he has done made in the last 20 years. The day he is I would say, well, that is well, he's a fine, healthy looking man. So brother on behalf of the membership, we present you as a token of our team. This brand new genuine electric clock would set us back eight dollars and 50 cents. Oh, thank you, brothers, for this beautiful electric clock. It has done touch me. I don't know what to say, but I feel showed that you brothers would like to know my life's history, taking it right from where I was born up to the day year by year. I was born in a little town in Georgia. We lived in a sort of. That was some speech that Andy made last night. I bet he must have talked for two hours. Yes, he was I tell you, I stayed till he was 18 years old and I left. How long did you stay fluking? Well, I stayed till he was 24. That's about all I could take. I wonder how long and it spoke there. Well, I tell you that boy really carried away with herself, don't it? Yeah, you're right, fluking. When I hear Andy get wound up and going to a thing like it done last night. Sometimes I wonder if this country ain't making a mistake by having freedom of speech. Well, the trouble with Andy. Good morning, gentlemen. Good morning. Hello there, brother. Hello, your son. Flukie, get out the way there second with you. I want to plug this clock in there and set up on my desk. This show is a nice clock you boys give me last night for my 20 years and a reverse rate. Oh, yeah. Now, Andy, you got to spin that little wheel in the back of it to get us started. Yeah. Well, don't seem to go. They'll see if you got it plugged in tight. Yeah, the plug is in good. Yeah, that's funny. A clock that won't run. I wonder what she gets if he was only in the lodge 10 years. Well, I can't understand it. That's a $8.50 clock at all the work. Well, I got it plugged in and I don't turn the starter. What else can you do? Say, fellas, you know, I as a scientist, I could take it over to my laboratory and smack it a couple of times with a hammer. Hey, wait a minute. I just found this paper in the box that the clock come in. It's a lifetime guarantee. Look here, listeners, to say here, this clock guaranteed for life against all defects due to faulty material or workmanship and assigned by the Wilton clock company. Come on, ender. I'll take you over to the store where we bought it and we'll show him this guarantee. He got to give us satisfaction. Kingfish, I know you bought the clock here, but it was the last one I had in the store. Yeah, but don't you see the clock don't work. Yeah, and there's a lifetime guarantee that come with the clock. Listen, boys, that's the manufacturer's guarantee. And it so happened that the Wilton clock company is right here in New York. Why don't you take it down after them? You can get some quick action. And it'd look like the best thing to do. Maybe we can get lightning to drive us to the Wilton clock company and aim us to stack together. Right. Let's go. This must be the players that say that Wilton clock company up there. Yeah, this is it. All right. All right. You wait here, Leighton. This ain't going to take long. All right. Well, how is your father? Hey, there sure was a big plan to get you. Yeah, I must take a lot of equipment to turn out clocks that don't run. Well, in there, I think that. That's who you can't be talking to us. That's us. That's us. What do you want? This is a war plant. Oh, oh, well. Ain't this the Wilton clock company? Yes, but it's then converted into a war production of precision instruments. Oh, yeah, that's it. Well, you see, Mr. Soldier, the reason we don't come down here is that I got a Wilton clock that don't work and it's got a lifetime guarantee on. Come on, and let's get out of here. The lifetime guarantee don't mean much if they're going to shoot you on the way in now. Wait a minute. Wait a minute, King fish. Wait, the company must stand back at their clocks here. They must still do that. Mr. Ain't there nobody in there that I could get satisfaction from? Well, Mr. Wilton is still running the plant. I guess you could see him. Yeah. Well, thank you, Mr. We'll be right with you. King fish. We better tell lightning. We'll be a little longer. Look, and why don't we take the clock back to the Harlem store there and exchange it for something else. I don't like the idea of going into a place where everybody read the shoot at you. They don't listen to that. Oh, don't be silly. Hey, lightning, we just want to tell you that we're going to be in this place a little longer than we think we were. Well, what did you come back for, Mr. Ain't it? Well, uh, uh, uh, to tell you what I just told you. Well, they'll see him like a way of the time. Wouldn't it have been quicker if you would have went in there in the first place instead of coming back here to tell me that you're going to be longer than you think you were than the first place? Uh, lightning, uh, just place here is a war plant now. Yeah. Well, if you got to get a clock fixed, then why does you want to go to a war plant? We is going to rob the war plant lightning, but don't tell nobody. Wouldn't that be designer? Oh, lightning. Come on, King fish. Come on. Yeah. You know, 10 years ago, I would have thought that lightning couldn't get no dumber, but he done fooled me. All right, fellas, we go right down this walk here. It's an act by follow me. Oh, yeah, for you. Yeah. Thank you. Thank you. Ralph, I think you've done a wonderful job on this altitude device. Well, thank you, Mr. Worlder. I think if it's successful, it'll be the most important development of the year in combat aviation. The beauty of it is that it can be used in those big B-17 flying fortresses are on the P-38 lightning. I think they're going to try it out on the P-38 lightning first. The principle is very revolutionary, too. The secret of the whole instrument, the actual heart of it, is these two little screws right here. They're made out of that new, highly sensitive metal that we developed right here in the lab. Well, I don't have to caution you about guarding all this very carefully, Ralph. Uh-huh. I should say not, Mr. Wilton. Oh, these are the only two metal screws of this type of existence. This is the only set of plans. So, believe me, I'm taking no chances. Oh, uh, did you say that altimeter clock is on the way? Yes, it should be here any minute. Oh, good. Then I can finish this thing out. I better check with Benson out front on her hand. Benson speaking? Benson is a Mr. Worlder. I'm expecting a couple of men with a new type altimeter clock for those new pursuit planes. Now, you're sending back to my office as soon as he arrives. Yes, sir. Well, by the way, these men are supposed to put some finishing touches on this altimeter clock when they get here. Oh, then I suppose you want them to put on coveralls, as usual. Certainly. You know our rules? Yes, Mr. Wilton. Goodbye. We'll say, uh, Ralph, come down to my office for a minute. I'll show you our new assignment. Right over to this window, fellas. Oh, Mr. Benson. Yes? These two men want to see somebody. Would you take care of them? Okay, Sandra. Of course that you men wanted. Oh, well, we want to see Mr. Wilton. We got a clock here. Oh, yes, yes. I know all about it. Uh, you do? You sure do get around, don't it, Anna? Come in through this gate here, please. Yeah, I get the man to store him with the phone down and told him about it. Um, uh, all right, you take off your clothes right here. Yeah, well, I, uh, excuse me for protruding, but, uh, did you say something about taking off your clothes? That's right. Can't go on the plant with those clothes on. Well, uh, ain't it liable to be a little fast in there, Mr. Wilton? Yeah, this is just a clock factory in it. You ain't running no Turkish bath enough on the side of you. Now, look, I haven't got time to argue with you before you can go back in that plant. You've got to put on coveralls. Uh, coveralls? Look, Mr. We don't want to seem big headed for this thing, but the only reason he is here... I know why you're here and you've got to put on those coveralls. Uh, just to see Mr. Wilton, huh? That's right. You know, King Fish, the more I hear about this fellow Wilton, the more I see why the clock won't run. Uh, uh, uh, say nothing. Uh, when we get all fixed up here, uh, what does we do and where does it go to find, Mr. Wilton? It goes straight down to the end of a passage where he turned left and it's the first star. Uh, thank you. Yeah, well, we might as well get started, yeah. Get off of my coat. Uh, you know something, King Fish, taking advantage of a lifetime guarantee ain't as easy as a lot of people think it is. Well, this is the end of the passage way that he said turned right or left, ain't he? Oh, it seemed to me he said left. No, no, right. Yeah, that's right. Yeah. We turn down here, then he's there at the first door. Well, this is it right here. There ain't nobody here. Well, we just got to wait around, uh, Mr. Wilton most likely be back in the second. This don't look like much of all of us. Look more like a workroom. Hey, say I could use them things right there. Oh, what's that in it? Those two little screws there. Yeah, the looking glass in my bathroom was coming loose. Oh, go ahead, and uh, take them if you can use them. They don't want them. Yeah, they ain't got no use for them. I think this size is 10 for a nickel in the dime stone. Well, slip in your pocket there. They must have millions of them. Sure. See, I was just thinking, uh, we'll have to be in here a little while yet, though, uh, who, uh, we change our clothes and gets out of here. Maybe we better send light in a note and tell them what we're doing, so we won't get jumpy out there. Yeah, that's right. Let's ride them a note and we can get somebody to take it out to them. Yeah, here's a pencil here because I use, uh, just piece of paper here. Wait a minute, wait a minute, there's something on that paper, King Street. Oh, just a bunch of lines look like some guy been doodling with the pencils that are doing his work. One side is blue and, oh, it's weight on the back. I'll write on the back of it. Yeah. I'll say, uh, lighten. What are you men doing here? You know these men around? No, but I know they have no business in this laboratory. Well, you see, mister, what are you doing with those plans? God, God, screws are missing too. Well, well, listen, mister. The only reason we come down here is this. You call me Mr. Milton? Yes. I think we have a couple of dangerous men here. Watch them. I want to go through their pockets. Oh, look, mother, we ain't doing nothing or did the reason we come down here are the screws. They were in his pockets. It's lucky we got back in time. We'd been a minute later. Both the plans and the screws are been gone. And look what they've got written on the back of these plans. Lighten it. Yeah. They even knew these plans were for that plane. Oh, we're the men. Oh, that ain't a plane. That's a man. Yeah, listen. We was just-- I don't know what you two are up to, but this is certainly a matter for the FBI card. Yes, sir. Take these two men to FBI headquarters. And I hope they get what they deserve. Intermission time on the Amos and Andy show. And that means our intermission orchestra directed by Raymond Scott with Dorothy Collins to sing. [Music] [Music] [Music] [Music] [Music] Imagine you imagining that you loved me and started on a family tree. Imagine starting on a family tree. The barber is a man. The mama is speaking. It's love, love, love. It's just a love with a love. It's love, love, love. It's unisso, a knock it in our. It's love, love, love. It's just a like the cuckoo in the clock. It's love, love, love. [Music] [Music] [Music] Well, they've got Andy and the kingfish down at FBI headquarters. The FBI agents are giving them a complete examination and taking them through a routine checkup before bringing them in for questioning. I think that's everything on that, Harris. Brown's weight, 205, height, 5 feet, 11 and a half. Right, Stevens, 191, 6 foot. All right, boys, you can put your shirts on. You know, and I'm getting made sick of putting my clothes on and off here. Yeah, I wish you could come out in our bathrobe today. All right, Harris, take them over to fingerprinting. [Music] All right, give me a hand. Just relax, I'll do it. Look, mister, you don't have to take no fingerprints. We as innocent. We was just trying to check on a lifetime guarantee, honest we was. We wouldn't do nothing to hurt the United States government. Oh, that's right, mister. Look, I got a American flag right here in my buttonhole. Yeah, mine is a mother suit. [Music] All right, Harris, hand them around now. I want to get a profile. Oh, mister, you ain't got to take off pictures. Well, nobody believes us, but we ain't done nothing wrong. Yes, sir, I plead with you, mister. Won't you please believe that I... Wait a minute, what's the matter? My left profile on the side there is much better hole. [Music] Well, Harris, what did you find? Nothing, Chief. Their records are as clean as a whistle. Well, you know, this all was the first time. This is a complete file, fingerprints, pictures and everything, huh? All right. All right, bring them in. Yes, sir. Come in here, you man. Yeah, no, we coming, we coming, mister. Sit down. Uh, mister, we've been trying to tell all your assistants here that they is making a mistake. Yeah, so, uh, just like I say, mister, I wouldn't do nothing to hurt the government. I was a patriotic man. Uh, I was one of the earliest American settlers in our apartment houses. I wouldn't love it. All right, but look, try to remember the jury. Hello. Hello, Chief. We picked up those three fellows from Harlem. You know, friends of the men you've got inside there? Oh, yes. I want to question them. I'll be right out. Mr., you don't really think that we meant to steal that stuff in the work room there, do you? Well, frankly, boys, I don't. But we've got to make these routine investigations to make sure. Uh, pardon me a moment. Yeah, well, that's a relief. We'll wait right here. How do you do, man? My name is Hood. I'm in charge here. Uh, Hennessy, do you got the names? Yes. That's Amos Jones. That's Henry Van Porter. This fellow they call lightning. A man we thought was a plane. Mm-hmm. And your friends of Brown and Stevens, is that right? Uh, yes, uh, to tell you the truth, uh, they are our best friends, mister. Yes, we've known them for many years. And if there's any information you want, we would be only too happy to vulget. Mm-hmm. I see. Well, what about you? You're the fellow that drove them down with the plant, aren't you? Uh, yes, I the fellow that drove them down to the plant in the taxicab. Uh, while I was waiting for them, they never did come out. And I waited for two hours for them. Mm-hmm. And then I whizzed on home. [laughter] I see. Well, tell me, uh, what do you know about these men as far as their reputation goes? Well, mister, I tell you the truth. Uh, I know they liable to get into a little scrape now and then, like, anybody liable to do, but I can tell you just that they would never do anything against the federal government. I know it's that. Why, certainly not. From my own personal contact with them, I know that they has always felt that crime was in sad taste. [laughter] I don't know what they're accused of, mister, but I sure it must be some mistake, right now. Mm-hmm. In other words, you men all feel positive that Stevens and Brown would do nothing against the law. Yes, uh, I would swear to death. Uh, yeah, I've, uh, I've subbed for one thing, but, well, I guess I've been out there. [laughter] What is it? Remember, you've got to tell the truth here. Well, I wouldn't want, uh, uh, I wouldn't like for you to repeat this, or, mister Brown told me not to say nothing about it. But when he loves the cab, he said he was going into Rob a war plan. [laughter] Oh, now we've got something to go on. [music] But, mister, you said a while ago you figured we was innocent. Yeah, most of the police believe us. We wasn't going to steal nothing. Uh, have you got that lie detector all attached, Tennessee? Yes, sir. Uh, take this thing off me, will you please, mister, take it off. I'll tell you the truth. I'll tell you the truth. Brown. I'm going to ask you some questions. If you don't tell the truth, this lie detector will show just when you're lying. Uh, weirdman, uh, mister, that ain't fair. This lie detector don't know nothing about the keys. [laughter] This machine records your emotional reactions. And no matter how hard you try to conceal your feelings, you can't fool it. This machine transposes your emotional vibrations into sound. I'll turn it on now. In other words, when you lie, you'll hear the hum rise. All right, here's the first question. Your true name is Andrew H. Brown. Is that right? Yes, sir. Have you ever used any other name? No, sir. Why did you try to steal those plans? Well, Bob, Bob, Bob, I didn't try to steal them, it's honest, I did not. Well, I didn't hear no rising hum, mister. [laughter] In truth's not, I never told a lie in my life. [laughter] Oh, you, uh, you haven't, huh? Uh, mister, you must have a short circuit in there, don't you? Mr. Brown, I'm interested in your source of income. Just what is it that you do during the living? Well, uh, I, uh, I as in partners with the kingfish here. And, uh, what does he do for a living? Well, he's, uh, he, he, uh, uh, I would say he, uh, uh, just about the same as me. All right, what do you both do then? Oh, well, well, uh, we work hard all the time, if that's what you mean. Well, uh, well, uh, I mean by that, uh, pretty harsh. Oh, mister, is that machine incinerating that my friend is lying? Doing more than insinuating, uh, and to pull yourself together there, son. Brown, Brown, do you still maintain you just went inside that factory to get a clock pick? Yes, sir. And do you expect me to believe that? Oh, mister, I just hope that someday your clock goes bad and you got a lifetime guarantee. But you did go into rob that war plant, didn't you? No, sir. Hmm. Doesn't seem to be any reaction. Brown, I wonder if you could be an innocent accomplice in this thing? Yes, sir. I'd be glad to. Uh, y'all, sir, and I'd be glad to be innocent accomplice who remembers his partner. Oh, no, no, no, you don't quite understand. What I mean is, is it possible that this so-called friend of yours, the kingfish, is a mastermind and is just using you for a tool? Now, wait a minute. Brown, have you ever known the kingfish to do anything dishonest? Hold it, Andy, hold it, hold it. Uh, what's the matter? Andy, before you answer that question, I want you to calm yourselves down there. I want you to get your motions leveled off as smooth as a pool table. All right, answer the question. Have you ever known the kingfish to do anything dishonest? Well... I didn't hear nothing. I did. Well, well, what I was going to say is, I know the kingfish is honest, all right. Well, that is, uh, I think he is. Well, what I mean is, he's honest most of the time. Uh, that is to say, uh, he honest at least half of the time. Uh, look, uh, look, Mr.... Maybe we better get off this question before we blows a fuse here. Well, y'all, uh, I'm going to tell you that machine there is just naturally suspicious. Listen to me, listen to me, young man. Did the kingfish take you into that plant to steal those plants? No, sir, absolutely not. All right, see. What is the chart show? No guilty reaction on any of the key questions, sir. Well, boys, I guess you've been telling the truth about the clock. Looks like we were up the wrong street. Uh, you mean that we can go, Mr? Yes, I'm sorry about this, but we have to check into these things. I guess you were pretty sore at me there for a while, but... Well, I'm not such a bad guy, am I? Oh, no, sir. I think you as a swell fella. [SIREN WAILING] I tell you, Amos, I'm going to split this whole thing wide open. Let people know what's going on here in this country. But I'll take it easy, Andy. Take it easy, nothing. I get the electric clock with a lifetime guarantee. The clock don't work. I try to get it fixed and nearly end up in the electric chair. Andy, will you please calm down? Listen, I have done already a bit of letter to President Roosevelt. Tell him how his citizens are going to get pushed around. Oh, now, look, Andy, if President Roosevelt don't handle things like that... Yeah, well, somebody in the government ought to do something about it. What is I paying all these taxes for? That I would pay, if I was paying in it. Andy, what did you write to President Roosevelt? Well, you see, all this happened because the clock didn't work in the first place. So I read him to the order to see that the clock companies make good clocks, with good wire in them, and good cog wheels, and good everything else. Oh, I don't think you ought to done that, Andy. Well, why not? Like I say, if that clock would have worked in the office this morning, it would have saved everybody a lot of trouble. Oh, wait a minute, come in, lightning. What'd they say, lightning? Well, move, Andy, I took the clock over to the electric company, and if there ain't nothing wrong with the clock, it's you. Me? Yeah, you a paid your bill for two months, and your electricity's been turned over. Hey, Mr. Andy, we'll be back with you again next week. Looking for excitement, Shumba Casino is here. Play anytime, play anywhere. Play on the train, play at the store, play at home, play when you're bored. Play today for your chance to win, and get daily bonuses when you log in. 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