Amos N Andy Daily
Amos n Andy - Brazilian Brass Mine
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- Duration:
- 26m
- Broadcast on:
- 24 Jun 2024
- Audio Format:
- mp3
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Gosson played Amos Jones, a very sober, upright fellow, and Corel played Andy, anybody's fool. And the perfect example of "there's one born every minute." Andy was forever being tricked by another Gosson character, the Kingfish. It never failed, and Andy would have a few dollars that the Kingfish would get one way or another. In fact, the Kingfish became so popular that Amos became a part-time character. This program was first heard on December 8, 1944, and in it, the Kingfish helps Andy make an investment. And did you hear that? Come on, will you? Did I hear what? That whistle. That's the Rinso White whistle. And Rinso means us. That's right, Rinso gets close, Rinso White, and Rinso presents the Amos and Andy show. [Music] Well, a few weeks ago, crossed wires in the home of Mr. and Mrs. George Kingfish Stevens started a fire in the living room, which destroyed our damage most of the furniture. Luckily, the Kingfish had a fire insurance policy covering it all, and at the moment, we find Henry Van Porter at the Stevens home with a check covering the loss. Well, Kingfish, here's your check from our insurance company in the amount of $400. Now, I hope you realize the great value of having insurance. Oh, thanks, and there's $400 and all on account of having a short circuit in them wires. Great thing, them wires. [Laughter] Well, that's what caused the congregation all right. If I started here in the living room under the Davenport, didn't it? Oh, yeah, Henry, I was laying on the sofa, and before I knew that it was burning all around me. Yeah. Well, didn't you notice it? With all that burning, harsh hair, it must have smelled awful. Well, it did, Henry, but I thought it was my wife's stuff while cooking supper, you see. [Laughter] You know, when it comes to cooking, she ain't exactly no Oscar of the rich. Yeah. Well, Kingfish, and going over the list of damaged furniture, one thing that puzzled us considerable at the insurance company office was how two bedroom chairs got in the living room in time to get burned. [Laughter] Yeah, well, now that's what I'm going to explain to you. I tell you, Henry, when I discovered that the place was on fire, my first thought was of the poor insurance company. Mm-hmm. I say to myself, "How can I help the insurance company?" Do you know how I do a hitman? Yes, go on. I runs into the bedroom, and I grab two of them old broken-- I mean, two of them beautiful chairs that I had in there, you see. And I start the camera mode by the way at the front door. And then I say to myself, "I'll cut through the living room here." You see, make a shortcut? Yeah. Suddenly, I trip, and the chairs fly right out of my hands, right into the flames. I tell you, I could have sat down and cried. Yes, well, if you ever have another fire, Kingfish, we would appreciate it very much. If you would forget it for simply insurance company, I'd let the flames get to the furniture by themselves. Oh, yeah, I do that. And now, look, and all I was trying to do was-- Oh, Henry, I didn't know you were here. Hello, Sapphire. Oh, come on, honey. Yes, I just come by to give George the $400 check for the insurance claim. Oh, wonderful. Well, George, now that we've got this kick, I want you to take it right down to the bank of the positive. Because tomorrow, I want to go out and buy some new furniture. Okay, honey, I'll deposit it. Oh, and look at all this beautiful money, $401 bill. Ain't that the most magnificent site you don't ever see? Yeah, show pretty all right. But don't you think you ought to deposit in a bank like Sapphire says that it just catches a check? Oh, I'm going to deposit, but when you get $401 bill, you've got to love them, have a little pleasure with them before you let them go, you know. Well, come on, come on, sit up at the desk here while I can talk to you. Well, hello there. Hi, Amos, hi. Yeah, just dropping by. Can you face, what is you doing laying on the floor there all covered up with dollar bills? Yeah, I think that's a craziest thing you don't ever see, Amos. Oh, look, not everybody has their depressed desires. With me, it's always been to lay on the floor buried in money. And would you mind slapping a couple of more bills on my face? I think I'll be getting the show through there. Yeah, your big piece is too. I got 75 dollars on them and they still ain't covered. Oh, change fees, if that's the insurance money that you and Sapphire's going to buy furniture with, you ought to put that in the bank. Yeah, well, that's what I'm going to do, Amos. I just want to be close to this stuff for a couple of minutes. Boy, look at that. Put your own bill there. He's got a great face, the fall of our country. Kingfish, why don't you pick that money up? Besides, you ain't counted for at least five minutes now. Yeah, maybe I'll butter here. Let me stack it up here. Get it together and kind of pile it up here on the desk here. Yeah, well, fellows, I got to get back to my taxi. See you later, and there's so long been in there. Yeah, so long. Oh, hello, Gavin. Oh, hey, was that the issue leaving? Yeah, obviously, Andy, come here. Come in, Gavin, come in. Oh, well, Andy, Kingfish, that's the against you. How are you, Gavin? I just want to say hello. I just want to say hello. Wait a minute. Wait a minute. Can I beat my eyes? Do I really see George Washington picking at me from hundreds of different places? [laughter] Well, then, Patrick Henry. That's my insurance money. $400. Oh, I see. $400. $400, my, my. Gavin, Gavin, what are you doing putting your face down on the desk in that money? Oh, it's so soft. Oh, my cheeks so soft. Oh, that feels so good. You know, treating you and the Kingfish, you're going to rub all the ink off of them bills. What you going to do with the money, Kingfish? What you going to do? Where are you going to deposit it in the bank? [clears throat] What a shame. What a shame. Putting money in the bank is financial suicide. Financial suicide. You can invest that money and double it overnight. Double it overnight. By tomorrow morning, you would have 800,000 instead of 400. They could invest it overnight again, but March is 1,600. They could donate it again, but March, exactly. It would, March, exactly. It would amount to a large figure. [laughter] Oh, overnight, brother. Gavin, you don't give me a thought there. And, uh, Sapphire, I don't need that money to tell them all. Yeah, and from what Gabby say there, the best time to invest money is at night. That's right, that's right. Be sure you pick the right brokers. Pick the right brokers. Otherwise, they'll have to pick you. You get the wrong brokers and use up against what is known as the cash dividend, the cash dividend. Oh, you think a cash dividend? You give them your cash, they give it up, and that's the end. That's the end. That's the end. That's the end. That's the end. That's the end. That's the end. That's the end. That's the end. That's the end. That's the end. [laughter] That's the end. That's the end. That's the end. That's the end. That's the end. That's the end. That's the end. That's the end. That's the end. That's the end. That's the end. That's the end. [laughter] That's the end. That's the end. That's the end. That's the end. That's the end. That's the end. That's the end. That's the end. That's the end. That's the end. That's the end. That's the end. That's the end. That's the end. That's the end. That's the end. That's the end. That's the end. That's the end. That's the end. That's the end. That's the end. That's the end. That's the end. That's the end. That's the end. That's the end. That's the end. [laughter] That's the end. That's the end. That's the end. one of his clues. Always speaking. Oh, is this Mr. Morgan yourself? Well, are you an investor or investigator? Oh, you are. Well, this is Morgan himself, man. What can I do for you? Well, Miss Morgan, I've got $400 to invest and I'm interested in your overnight profit Dublin department. Yeah, $400. Oh, well, our department is interested in you, too. Well, I have here good things about the house of Morgan, you see? Oh, the house of Morgan. You think I'm, oh, yes. Yes, being for the house of Morgan, I'll be personally delighted to take your, I mean, to take care of your $400. Oh, you come over to my place sometime at your convenience. No rush, say in about six minutes. Yeah, so we'll make it as fast as we can. Well, welcome to the house of Morgan. Sit down, Mr. Stevens. Mr. Brown, make yourself at all. Oh, yeah, thank you, Miss Morgan. The funny thing, this ain't exactly how I pictured a big investment broker's office that was going to look. Yeah, I mean, neither. You know, sub and kingfish, you had to determine the furniture. My office could almost pass with a house of Morgan. Well, now you see, boys, this is the little unpretentious office where I started in business 40 years ago and I've always kept it. Keeps me from getting a big head. And I've also found it an excellent place to get a one. But, Mr. Stevens, let's get down to the man of the money. I'm going to invest for you. Now, the stock I've got in mind for you is Brazilian brass selling at 20 and a quarter. It's a great vibe that you got to move fast. Brazilian brass, don't seem like I ever heard of that. What? You never heard of the brass mines in Brazil? I never heard of brass mines in no place. You've never heard of brass mines. Never heard of brass mines. You're my good man. You believe me, if I told you, I saw these brass mines with my very own eyes. Oh, yes, I would believe you. You would? Yes. I saw these mines on the peculiar circumstances. When it first came known that pure refined brass was being mined in a raw state, it immediately struck me as a great investment possibility. Rather than venture blindly into an unknown field, several other investment bankers, myself, decided to take a trip to the Brazilian brass mines. After weeks and weeks of misery and hardship, our travels brought us to the headquarters of the Amazon. The travel was pretty tough, well, it was until we got out of the United States. Having arrived at our ultimate destination, we lost no time fulfilling the purpose of our mission. And by the way, these mines were actually mountains of solid brass, honeyconed with tunnels. What the picturesque thrilling sight it was that first morning as the sun rose, literally thousands of natives out there polishing the foothills. You mean to say there was a mountain day of solid brass? Mountain, there's a mountain range stretching away as far as the eye can reach. A shimmering line of brass reminded me of a long brass rail. In fact, one evening, I'd had to sip too much of the native goat milk and try to rest my foot on it. Goat milk, huh? Yes. Well, daddy investments sound great already, Ms. Morgan, but along with our only investment overnight, I'd kind of like to keep the money in this country, you see. Oh, yes. I was crazy about brass, Doc, too, Mr. Morgan. Only thing is, we want to invest in something that ain't going to turn green on us. Oh, I agree. Yes, I see. Well, I'll tell you what. Let me call home. You have the latest quotation on Brazilian brass. As I told you, an hour ago, it was 20 and a quarter. I'd like to see you get in on this before it goes too high. What's Brazilian brass? When you hear the tone, the time will be 534 and 1/2. Yes. Well, just as I told you, it's up to 34 and a half. And incidentally, it's getting late. 34 and a half. You think it's going higher? Every minute. Here's my $400, Mr. Morgan. Get me as much of it as you can. And I'll see you tomorrow. Brother Andy, this is the smartest move I'd ever made. Well, the King Fish has invested his $400 with Frank Morgan, who he thinks is a reputable investment council. As the King Fish told Andy, he plans to take the profit from the deal and open up an investment business of his own, taking Andy in with him. It's the following morning, and Andy is already 2 hours deep in the investment business. He's just returned to the office and he's talking to his new part-time secretary. You know, Miss Blue, this investment business is going to make my office here the Wall Street of Harlem. Some of this was any cause while I was open. Yes, sir. That was one, Mr. Brown, a man named Roberts Hall. Oh, great. Yeah. What do you want to invest in? I don't know. All he said was that your laundry won't be ready for four weeks. Maybe I better invest in some underwear and shirts myself. You know, this investment business is show getting off to a slow start. But as soon as we get that money, things will show start rolling around here. Yes, I think money is certainly nice to have in a business. Yeah. Well, what I'm going to do is start lining up some investors. Miss Blue, take a letter to the Harlem bank. Yes, Mr. Brown, I'll get my coat. Wait a minute. No, no, no. I want to write it. Wait a minute. You can take a letter and shorthand, can't you? Well, yeah. Yes, I can if you want me to, but I don't think it's always wise. There'll be a lot of people that can't read my shorthand. But after you get it in shorthand, you could write it on the typewriter, couldn't you? No, sir. You see, I wanted the people that can't read it. All right. All right. All right. Forget the letters. One thing you can do around here, though, is answer the telephone. See, in the big executive, I ain't supposed to answer the phone even when I hear. You have got to take all the calls and then find out whether I is in or not. Yeah, that's it, Mr. Brown. And another thing. Uh oh, wait a minute. Hello? Oh, hello, wander. Uh oh. Hold it, change fish. Miss Blue, what did I just tell you? Take this call and find out of I is in, will you? Yeah. Hello, Mr. Brown, see an octopus, speaking. Oh, what's the matter, did he see it? I'll see if he's in. Yeah, he must be on the floor there. Some players look around there, boy. Is you in, Mr. Brown? Is I in? Yeah, yeah, I guess so. This is a mess. Hello, king fish. All right. Hello, what's going on over there? Oh, I'm just trying to get things organized here. Yeah, well, try to hold yourself in a little, and the way it looked to me, we was over-ogorized now. Oh, yeah. Oh, wait a minute. Miss Blue, you've went in the back office and practiced up on your shorthand, will you? Yeah, I said, Mr. Brown. Uh, hello. What's on your mind, king fish? Uh, say, Andy, uh, can you meet me here at the large hall in about 10 minutes? It's time for us to go down and, uh, see this, uh, fella Morgan and get our money. Oh, yeah, yeah. It ought to be up to around 800, uh, 800 dollars by now. I'll be there, king fish. Okay, and it's all on. Oh, boy. This show is going to be up to us. Hello, Andy. How, how are you? Oh, hello there, shorty. I, uh, where has you been for the last few days? Well, you see, I had the guru with today. I, I, I took the chain. I, I mean, I rode the bus to, but, uh, when, when I got there, you see, I, I had to go get to see, uh, I've been aware. Uh, for a second there, it sounded like you was going on a world tour. Glad you dropped in, though, shorty, because I got some good news. Always glad to hear good news, Andy. Yeah, well, here's the thing. The king fish done bought some Brazilian brass stock yesterday from a fellow by the name of Frank Morgan. Now, the man is doubling our money overnight, and we're going to pick up the profit this morning, and then me and the king fish is going on the investment business ourselves. Yeah. Well, that's a good thing for you to do all right. Yeah. Well, uh, first thing we want to do is to take all the money that you has done earned and invested for you. How much you got? Well, in cash from the bank, I got a, I got a, I got a, in stocks, I got a, in bonds, I don't say that, in real estate, I would get, I ain't got a dime. Well, shorty, get some money when you get some money. Oh, say, I got to go over and meet the king fish and help him carry his money home. Uh, oh, hello, Amazon. Hey, Andy, where you going? Well, I was in the hurry, Amazon. I got to be running along. I'll see you later. Okay, that boy really in the rush, ain't it, shorty? Where's he going? Well, the king fish, you know, they don't invest with some money, and they state they're going double it overnight, and they're going down now to get the money. Oh, he didn't learn yet that you can't double your money overnight. Guys, anybody that would tell him that must be out of the head, or a crook, one of the two. Then with the profit, they're going in the investment business, and he wanted to invest my life savings for me, but I fooled him. I, I threw him off the track. I told him I was broke. Yeah, well, you've done the smart thing, shorty. Yeah, I, I told him that, but, but, but, but I, I really got a nice sense. Now, look at here. I am going to find out about this deal from Andy's secretary, and if there's anything suspicious about it, I is going to the police. Shorty, did Andy tell you what his broker's name was? Oh, yeah, he, he told me, did he say his name was Frank Blair's? I mean, there's more, no, I mean, he didn't say, I mean, he didn't say. Hello, ticket office. This is Frank Morgan. I called up earlier about a reservation to Chicago. When can I pick it up? In about three months. Well, that's fine. I have three months. Well, I'm going to leave town tonight. I should be out here now. Is this trip really necessary? Necessary? Really, brother. You have no idea. I don't want the police. I mean, I now listen here. You young pipsqueak. I, hello, hello. I'm up on me. Maybe I'd better call the bus company and see if they can. Hello, Mr. Morgan. Hello there. Oh, hello, Brown, Stevens. I was just thinking about you. Well, uh, Steve, you got all your luggage here, Mr. Morgan. Uh, uh, going out of town, huh? Well, I was, I, uh, yes, I've got to get away for a while. It's a bad climate here. I've got to go to a colder place. Uh, but it's winter. It ain't hot here now. Well, I know, but it is for me. Well, the one, if you want to hurry, we'll get right down to boom, Mr. Morgan. Uh, we done, uh, come over here to see you, brother thing. You see, you done had the money overnight and we just dropped in for the $800. Oh, yes, $800. Well, there's a little matter. I want to explain to you about this Brazilian brass. You see, your stock being a Brazilian security must be registered prior to resale on the foreign exchange, after which a certificate of beneficial interest is issued in your name and impounded through escrow as a first lean debenture with pro-rated accruals. Yeah, it looked like he got a hold of some more of that goat milk to me. I don't know. Yeah, we better come back later. Oh, look, Mr. Morgan, about the $800. Now, it's very simple, boys. You see, there's also a proxy that's hypotricated upon the refunding equipment represented by the script dividends held in the voting trust and there's non-negotiable fiduciaries. Uh, Ms. Morgan, is you speaking Brazilian by any chance there to us? You mean you didn't understand what I said? Not a word. Well, that side, maybe I was speaking Brazilian, huh? Boys, I'm just trying to tell you that I can't give you your money back. Unfortunately, you're completely wiped out. Well, Mr. Morgan, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. Just a minute, Mr. Morgan here. I got to have this money. Oh, that does fire insurance money that my wife's sapphire going by a new furniture with. I swear to you, also, if you're waiting to buy it now, we don't have to fire up at my place. I live on 135th Street, and she'd kill me if I don't bring that money back. Why, they're always buying furniture as a pity they can't buy any stock. I'm sorry, Steve, it was your wife's house. Oh, but wait a minute, Mr. Morgan, I figured I'd find you here. Oh, hello, officer. Well, luggage. Looks like I got here just in time. You have? I mean, you did? Well, I'll be with you in a minute, officer. Steve, hand me that direct phone, the stock exchange. Oh, this one here? Yes, thank you. Oh, what's Brazilian brass? Thank you. Goodbye. Boy, is your stock made a wonderful recovery. I can give you back your money in the nice profit of a hundred dollars. Oh, it does, please. Yes, I'll count it out here. 100, 200, 300. By the way, also, what can I do for you? Would you like to buy a couple of tickets to the policeman's ball? The policeman's ball. Well, guess what I saw? Well, never mind what I thought. I love to go. For a minute, I thought I might be tied up. Come back tomorrow now by 12 tickets. Okay, thank you. Goodbye. Yes. Well, boys, I've got to be going along. Oh, well, wait a minute, Mr. Morgan, you didn't finish got not the money there. Oh, well, now let's not be too hasty. I have a sneaking feeling about that stock. You know that part? It goes up and down pretty fast. Hand me the phone. Oh, yes. Yes, sir. Yes, it is. Hello. What's the latest quotation on Brazilian brass? Oh, thank you. Goodbye. Boys, just move down again. This time, you're really wiped out. Oh, Mr. Morgan, have a chance of the whole nothing steady till we get paid. Stephen, when you play the stock market, you've got to expect this thing. Hello, Amos. Oh, what did you do now? Hello there, fellas. I hope we are too late. Now, just a minute, my good man. That's, uh, that's Officer with you. Is he here to sell tickets to the policeman's mall? Now, Morgan, I'm here on business. Oh, hand me the phone. No, wait a minute. That's not necessary. I'm beginning to know the trend of that stock. You've got to profit again. Here's your $500. Amos, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, great. Yeah, I'll go tell you something that you bring the policeman here just in the nick of time. Yeah, well, I certainly is glad I did, fellas. And it's for you, Morgan. It looks like this is all straightened out, so I won't pull in. But from now on, watch your step. Oh, now, Officer, you're talking to a reform man. Please, Officer, believe me. I couldn't do anything like that. Now, believe me. From now on, I'll never sell anything, but I wouldn't sell to my own dear brother. Bye, George. I wonder if my brother's got any money. Now, look here, honey. If you're going to start all over again, harping on me for investing that money instead of depositing in the bank. Now, George, that was the stupidest thing I'd have ever heard. But I'll admit a clean price of it, and you've got the $500 back instead of four. Yeah, but you ought to know when somebody's trying to put something over on you. You men's never gets good. Oh, honey, please. Now, you don't bust a door of veers over my head when I told you about it this morning, and I don't give you all the money. I don't have my punishment, so let's forget it. Well, I will this time. Yeah, you say you don't order the furniture already. Where'd you buy it? Well, a furniture salesman just happened to drop by the house, and the way he described it, it sounded so good that I paid him in advance. And we ought to get it in about a week. Yeah, what kind of furniture and who is the man? It's Brazilian furniture, and the man was named Frank Morgan. Be sure to be with us again next Friday evening at the same time when the Lakers are friends all again present the innocent Andy Shaw. Ah, thanks to Frank Morgan who appears to the courtesy of Maxwell House Coffee. For fun and frolic CUNY in next Thursday evening to Maxwell House Coffee time with Frank Morgan, Cass Daylee and Robert Yondie. Save on O'Reilly Breakparts Cleaner. Get two cans of O'Reilly Breakparts Cleaner for just $8 valid in store only at O'Reilly Auto Parts. America. We are endowed by our creator with certain unalienable rights, life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness. At Grand Canyon University, we believe in equal opportunity, and the American dream starts with purpose. To serve others in ways that promote human flourishing and create a ripple effect of transformation for generations to come, find your purpose at Grand Canyon University. 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