Rebel FM
Rebel FM Episode 102 - 05/06/2011
We're sorry. Let's just start there.
This week, Anthony's out and we're joined by IGN's Brian Altano and Scott Bromley. We talk about Portal 2, Minecraft, DarkSpore, Child of Eden, and more, then move on to letters. Or we try, anyway.
This week's music, in order of appearance:
Metric - Combat Baby;
HIM - Katherine Wheel
(upbeat music) (upbeat music) ♪ There's nothing good on the radio ♪ ♪ Once again, I didn't know ♪ ♪ There's your part and truth ♪ ♪ The rapidly ♪ ♪ The rapidly ♪ ♪ The rapidly ♪ ♪ The rapidly ♪ - Hey, fuckers. - Hello. - Hello, hey girl. - And welcome to episode 102 of Rebel FM. I almost-- - Take that carillo de Ville. - Yeah, I can't really even, I see. - Santo Edoff. - Already with 101 Dalmatians. I am Arthur Geese. With me this week is Tyler Barber. - Hey, what's up? - Matt Chanderne. - Mi gusta es es tres sevesa. - And the morons wins. (laughing) Bye now, Tano, and Scott Baldini. - What's going on? - We just came off of a boat solving mysteries. - Stay, let's talk about computer guys. It's a river out motocraft. - His hair lines going from front to back and yours is starting from the middle and moving forward, so. - Well, you don't even have one to begin with. - Have you seen the price of Yamakas these days? (laughing) I might as well crude my own. (laughing) - There's some room. - Obviously, we're here to talk about video games. - What are those? - These toys for babies. - I thought this was the Toys for Babies show. - It is the Toys for Babies show, yeah, welcome. So I played Child of Eden. - You did? - I did play Child of Eden. - Wow, I didn't even know this. - Funny thing about Child of Eden, it's fucking res. - Huh. - In case you didn't know, (laughing) and the build we got is mostly finished. It's four out of five boards. - Boards. - Boards, so that's what they say levels are are boards. - How many man's did you use? - I only used one man. (laughing) One man's. - Did you, did you kick with your feet? - I didn't, so this build is controller enabled actually. So I did it with a controller. And you know, with a controller, it is a lot like res. - With a controller, it would have to be exactly like res. - Yeah, which it is. It is exactly like res with a controller. - I'm totally playing it with connect 'cause like I've already played res. - Right, I mean, and that's the interesting thing about it is to play it with connect honestly to get the sort of movement and the hand motions down. - Yeah. - I am a little concerned about the fact that they're gonna sell this game for $60. - Pretty short, huh? - Uh, res. - Yeah. (laughing) - I mean, res was full price when it came out, right? - Oh yeah. - You can come with a vibrator if you can-- - You can plug three controller, extra controllers in. - Oh, that's right. You can wear the corset. - And then in Japan, like they're, I don't know if they're selling it, but they've definitely made a prototype vest that you can hold the controllers in. - Love it. - I mean, he has three version ships with this. He was a proud owner of the trans vibrator. Love it. - I don't even wanna know where you put that. - $60 isn't that expensive if you consider how much drugs are. (laughing) - I think drugs are a little more effective. - Well, the two go hand in. - Well wait, how much money and drugs do you need to spend to see an Asian girl dancing in front of the future? - Jesus Christ. I mean, that could go anywhere between $5 and $50. - Yeah, it depends what neighborhood you're in. - I would say the, yeah, the average is 60. - Okay, well-- - By seeing, do you mean imagining? - No, I think seeing. - Actually, let's see. - Like actually appearing in front of your eyes. - So basically saying it's like a $60 screen saver that you can move. - No, I mean, it's not a screen saver. There's, it's fun, like it's an action game. You can fail. Like it's not, it's not flour or something. It's not a game where you live forever. - Yeah, fuck flour, am I right, boys? - I didn't, I didn't like flour. - Right, awesome plants. - Awesome plants. - I don't know if I'm going to crucify myself here, but I own the original Reza. Actually, the Reza I bought was the one that released when Xbox Live. I just, I couldn't get into it. Like I was playing it and I'm, you know, like, and I understand a lot of it is like the time when it came out. It was like really, really different. - Yeah. - Sort of take on gameplay. - Yeah. - And the graphics and everything. But I'm just kind of like a kind of simple. (laughs) - I mean it is. - Simple. - I didn't. - We're having weird technical issues where Tyler is barely audible. - Oh. - For those of you missing, he just crucified himself. - Yeah. (laughs) - That's exactly what Jesus went through. - Tap him up at any of the ones. Like I didn't care for Reza, like I put him on the cross. (laughs) Try to connect now, that's all. - Turn up four. - Oh, Jesus. - Yeah. - Tyler speak. - Yes. Speak. The Hungarian rapper. - Turn four a little more. (laughs) - War. - Okay, now turn four down because for some reason they're switched. - Stop, please. - You get to hear the man behind the mast today, folks. Turn three down the tiny bit more. It's because Matt and Tyler are mixed up for some reason. - All right. There's a pretty good mix. - There's a pretty good reason why the Rebel FM sounds so good every weekend. It's because Arthur is a completely anal, retentive asshole without the auto-equality. - Well, I think the audience, granted, not a lot of them, but some of the audience would like to hear what Tyler has to say, so I thought that I would address that. - Yes, cat facts are important. - They are. - Dude, you haven't got a cat fact in way too long. - I know, there's- - He ran out of facts. - They're incredibly sick. - There's actually- - There's not a lot to know about cats. - I'll look up, well, while you guys are talking about video games, I'll look up. - So anyway, so I mean, travel vegan is cool. I'm just kind of weirded out by the value proposition of it. - And I like short games, but I just don't feel like there's very much to it. But I could be weird. - Is it at least worth replaying multiple times, like a score attack? - Yeah, I mean, there's definitely- it grades you on your performance, and there's a completion percentage for actually killing or- - 'Cause I actually don't hate games. - Getting everything? - That kind of reward you to- - Right, I mean, I know that you dug on sin and punishment, right? - Yeah, stuff like that's cool to me. I mean, if I can beat something in an hour and a half or two hours and then get along with my life, I'm happy. - Because we're grown-ups with lives. - Yeah. - Supposedly. - I don't need 95 hours through like, the Thargia, the RPG Land, or not to find somebody's shoes. - I like the first Thargia, but the second one's kind of rough. - I'm kind of all for a connect game that is short, you know? - Yeah, I don't want to- - I don't want to sit around and wave my arms and kick my legs out for longer than an hour. - So here's the problem. - We didn't tend to figure that. That's why they stopped making games. - Yeah. - Yeah. - That's true. - And in Child of Eden, it took me like an hour. - Wow, yeah. - Which seems like it would tire out the arms a little bit. - And that's definitely longer than all of the res levels except for the end one. - I mean, I had to pause it. I wonder if it takes time, it counts the time I had to pause. - You know, who knows? That's always like the conundrum. - Crazy Japanese people. - Did it count the pause time? - Did it not? - Who knows? - But yeah, I mean, I guess- - Is it something that, 'cause I will go back and I'll play res every now and then just play it straight through in like a three hour sitting or something like that? - I mean, it's a very pretty HD res without the video game, man's in front. - No man's. - No man's. - So what kind is it? - It has boards. - It has boards. - Do you use remotes or tapes? - I'm sorry, I'm an 80s baby fucking with you right now, sorry. - I know, I'm an 80s baby. We are basically the same age. - Oh. - Remember? - But you look so much older. - I don't know if that's true. - I love you out there. - I don't go to sleep on the floor of the Yeager mill every night. - You got some sawdust in your hair. - It's from the horses. - Yeah. - What's the, I want to know what about the music though. I mean, I'm honestly a little worried about the music 'cause the- - The music is good. - All conny. - Nonstop. - No, the music- - Don't be like to not like diamonds. - If you dug on res, I don't see why you wouldn't like- - I did dig on this. - I mean, I'm just wondering if the music is all one note or if it changes up a lot. - No, it changes a lot over the course of a level, so no, there's definitely progression. - Does it change based on how will you play? - What you hit and how you hit it and where you're aiming makes different noises that sync to the music. - Cool. - So you're affecting the song in that way. - But you did that in res too, so let's see, what else? I played the red faction Armageddon demo. - What's in the demo? - It's just like a 25 minute slice. - Oh, okay. Like a mission. - It's right after you've apparently fucked something up and let monsters out and everyone blames you and you get chased into a tunnel. - It's like Mario went to hell with weird physics puzzles. - With physics puzzles? - Yeah. I'm not super big into open world games like we've talked about this before, but I really liked red faction gorilla as an open world game because everything you did contributed to progressing and like- - And you like the world was more than something just to drive through- - Yeah. - Well, except when you wanted to literally drive through something. - Yeah. And I miss it, like playing it when I play it, I miss it. The shooting doesn't hold up well enough by itself and the destruction is very confined. - Right. Well, and that was the thing with red faction is that it may not have control of that well but you could blow up fucking buildings. - Right. And I've never really been bored as a guy in a robot suit hitting a button that puts me through walls. Usually that's fun. - How can that not be fun? - I don't know. - How do you fuck that up? - There's a serious problem with our industry that things like that have gotten fucked up over the last five years. - Well. That's also a bummer that like the demo isn't so good because that was one of the things that like turned everybody onto the original red faction was actually had a really great demo. - I mean, the music and stuff and the presentation is cool but I don't know, I'm not really feeling it. But I could be wrong. I didn't really like the demo from the first red faction either. - Oh, I did. That was the thing that made me want to get that game. - This is how you do a demo. My cat's purring is coming over the mic like crazy. - My nerves every day. - Where's the mouse? - What is that swinging in the stores? - Tyler, what have you been playing? - Oh my God. - Oh shit. - There we go. - Lucky shit. - Fucking shit. - I borrowed that. - How was that? - Dude, I took the plunge and I bought Minecraft. - Oh no. - Oh really? - Dear Lord, I swear like-- - Are you have creepers in your house? - Yes. Minecraft is-- I can already tell you it's one of the most addictive games I've ever played in my life. - Really? - And it's perfectly suited for my what I like in gaming too. I don't think it's for everyone. Actually, I can tell you it's not for everyone. - Except for the millions of people that have bought it. - Yeah, yeah. - It might not be for them. But I could see where a lot of people are like, "Ah, there's," you know, 'cause there's not really a particular goal or anything, but what keeps me in it is there's a three-point feedback loop that keep, I swear, I feel like a drug addict with this game. So the three points of the feedback loop are, you know, these are gonna seem pretty obvious. Mining, exploring, and building. - Right. - And each one of those things requires the other to occur, you know, in order for you to do them. So it just, you know, when you're-- just when you're finished building your tower as high as you can go and you're out of materials, you're like, "Well shit, might as well go mine a little bit." Then once you run out of like places to mine, you're like, "Ah, I broke all my axes. I need to make some axes. Time to go get some wood, go explore the above world." - Yeah, this is the fourth feedback point of being a drug addict that is explaining right now, which is make sure you get everyone else to also become drug addicts. - Well, you know, it's funny that you said that-- - I thought this was the fifth where people get tired of hearing you talk about drugs. - This is what you plead after you do drugs. - Yeah. You know, I feel like that commercial from the '80s, the cocaine commercial, so I could get-- - Oh, I learned it from you. Oh. - So I could buy more drugs. - I thought you meant the one about chicken soup. - So I could work more. So I could do more cocaine. So I could, you know, like that's a perfect commercial for Minecraft. Just take out cocaine and put, like, crafting and explore it. - You're really stumbling to me. - You remember that commercial where the kid was in the hallway and the locker and the other guy was like, "Hey man, I got some stuff you just gotta try. What is it? Pot, you know, marijuana, uh, I don't know. What are you, chicken?" - Blah, blah, blah, blah. - And he's like, "I'm not a chicken. You're a turkey." And that was a commercial. And then, like, three years later, the Ninja Turtles are really big. So they put fucking Michelangelo in it all of a sudden. So in the middle, the kid was like, "What do I do, Michelangelo?" And all of a sudden, he was like, "How can you see me? Did you smoke that? Are you, are you high?" You're talking to an animated turtle and then it went back to school and he was like, "I'm not a chicken. You're a turkey." And the drug dealer was like, "Whoa!" - Sorry. - What are you on? - I don't remember that one. - I don't remember that one. - I remember that one. - That might have been a California. - Marya Calabunga to be found. - I remember. - He was in New York. - Oh, that's right. - I remember that commercial. - Yeah. - Fuck, I don't, man. - We also had the New York- - Texans are racist against Ninja Turtles. - Had to cut through the long way home, did you guys have that one? - I don't know. - Oh, man. Every now and then, he's drugged dealers right here. So I have to take a long way. - Oh, yeah! - He showed them, like, doing this, like, fucking dicathlon over, like, he was hopping over fences. - Like a kid parkour, just to get away from him. - Like a drug dealer's tripping out because some elementary school kid won't buy his drugs. - He's like, "Seriously? I don't have money. Let's have this conversation stop today." I'm like, "Now you gotta run over that lady's roof every day." - My favorite, my favorite one is, "I learned it from one. I'm watching you. All right. - Best. - Where did you get these, Michael? - Answer me. - The guys' eyes are so red when he's asking the question. - No, seriously. This pot is better than anything I've ever bought. Where did you get this? - From you, Dad. I learned about-- - I got garbage. - Yeah. So back to Minecraft. - Oh, sorry. - Yeah. Back to the cocaine. - As much as Tyler likes talking about marijuana. - That's illegal drugs. - Oh, boy. - Yeah, speaking of legal drugs. Sorry. - Whatever you gave me, did you do the whole-- - Yeah, I was good. - To get to the good stuff. - Like, I'm ultra-- - It was allergy medicine, people. That's what I hate to do. - Yeah, you gave me a dissolvable allergy tablet, and I'm flying right now. - Yeah. - I just put on the lingerie in the corner and hide under the blanket, but the stars on it. It'll be fine. We'll take care of you. - Shh. - Shh. - Minecraft. - Minecraft. - Yes. - Thank you for your question, Matt. It actually took me-- - That's the worst podcast we've ever done. - Not yet. - It took me a really long time to get down to the bottom because I'm really, like, obsessive over things. And so, like, every hallway and every little sub-cave had to be, like, perfectly cut out, like, well-designed. - This game would kill me, I can tell her. - I love it. - 'Cause I'm just like that. - I have my tower. - It looks like a Frank Lloyd Wright had a massive amount of penis envy and just made this, like, giant fucking ultramodern tower. - It's the whole time you're playing this, like, imagine. - It's a lot of deep-end-- - Can you build, like, an MCS or painting and they just fall out of things, like, ah! - Well, some things can, like, some of the materials can do the trick where you can have it float in the air, like, if you build up to it and then delete what's under it, you could do a little floaty plaque. - So, you need to build a scaffolding to build the floating platform? - Yeah, I build scaffolding to build everything. - I don't want to paint the fucking Sistine Chapel, I just want to play a game. - I know, but I love it. Like, I love that-- you know what it is? I love the control of the world. I love that everything in the world I can control. - Are you playing in build mode? Are you playing in, like, the actual kind of simulation where, like, zombies and shit come around? - Yeah, that mode. - And that's the other thing, too, bless you. I didn't realize that there's an actual, for, like, a real basic ecology in the game. I mean, there's, like, little shit like that would blow me away. Like, I would cut down a tree and, like, these little saplings would drop and if they dropped on a dirt patch, it would, you know, a tree would grow there if it, you know, got rain and sun. Or, you know, like, just those little things you wouldn't even think because it's, like, really basic graphics. - But I mean, there's funny little things, like, any light source will go a tree. So, like, if you're in a cave and you've put a torch down, you can grow a tree as long as you put down a square of dirt. - Just, like, real life. - Just, like, real life. - You know what? - Well, growing pie. - But that's sort of, like, mix of variables like that, like, a light will go a tree. It taps that, like, viva pinata aspect of, you know, of, like, craft, you know, like, mixing things together and see what you get, you know, and even the whole crafting aspect of it was, like, completely lost on me before I bought the game. Like, I really didn't, I didn't understand that you had to make a pickaxe. At first, I was like, "Where the fuck do I find a pickaxe?" - Well, first you have to punch a tree so that you get the wood to make a pickaxe. - I know, and I was just like, "Holy shit!" - Just like real life. - Yeah. - So, yeah, I mean, and basically, since I've bought it, I mean, it's like one of those games where I'm thinking about it constantly, I feel like I'm fucking at it. And, like, all, it's like, all I'm doing is, like, sitting and, like, planning out my, my routine. Like, "Okay, I know I need such and such materials to finish out my basement that goes under the water." Like, 'Cause right now, I'm, like, working on a basement that goes under a lake, and it's, ah, it's, like, so rad. - That is poor architecture. [laughter] - It works. - You're working right now. Those things never go well. - Here's-- - You're building a bar. - Here's the other thing, like, I'm culture paranoid about, like, creepers and stuff getting into my house. So my, my house kind of looks like, it reminds me of, like, what, uh, Soremon's tower must look like or something. Like, 'Cause I have, like, these giant walls erected all around it, and, like, I have, like, all these, like, death pit traps surrounded in case any creepers come in, and I love it. - You're, like, a really paranoid dude in the apocalypse. - Yeah, exactly. - Who's got really great design case-- - Have you got any, any multiplayer servers yet? - I haven't yet. - I'm afraid. - And that's actually why I bought the game, because my, uh, my favorite podcast, they're playing it, and they-- - The rule of thumb was playing. [laughter] - And they, and they want to start a server to build, uh, like, kind of, like, geeky, fancy, nerdy stuff. - Is this Radialab or something like that? - No, no, it's-- - No, it's the Atomics Magazine podcast. [laughter] - Now it's the-- - From the makers of Atomics Magazine. - The Skeptics Guide to the Universe. - Oh. - It's a Skeptics podcast, and-- and I have good ideas that I want to-- - Well, I don't say you make a religion of a skepticism. - I like-- don't get-- all right. [laughter] - You are not a psychologist? - Yes. - Yes. - Except for the fact that the difference between religion is, uh, like, in fundamentalism, there, there's nothing fundamental about being a student at all. - Right, you're too skeptical to even call yourself that, so-- - Yeah, I wouldn't even call myself the rule number one. - Okay, Tyler, let me know when you want some help getting that hook out of your mouth. - Oh, it's in your mouth, you just don't know it. - That didn't make any sense. - I know, it really is, there-- there is no fundamentalism to skepticism or atheism. All that shit is weak thinking, it's weak, short, uh, not well thought out arguments. - What are we debating here? - I don't-- - I don't know, he is-- - Arthur accused me of being a fundamentalist skeptic or something, he-- - Accusively-- - Like, I hold it as a religion, I effectively pushed your button. - I take that very seriously, because to me, I know what I don't know, and that-- and I know the difference between knowing something, and, uh, so to me, like, if I make a claim, I'm making a claim that I know, I'm not like, uh-- - This is, like, the first writers from Sketch for how they ended every genie, they go up - I don't-- I don't put faith into my decisions, I don't put-- I don't let faith direct me. - So you're saying you do believe in not God or not believe in not God? - I'm an atheist, but that's not fundamentalism. - Okay. No, I mean, I'm gonna give a shit eight of those. - There's one thing we can all believe in, though. - Atomic's Magazine, now available for my two. - Dude, it's gonna do that every time. - Oh, God bless you, guys. I personally don't believe in anything. I think it's easier, though. - I've seen that happen, if that's true. - I'm not-- at least. - I don't-- I mean, I don't really care about that. - No, it's just-- it's a frustrating charge. As-- I mean, I'm saying, as an atheist and as a skeptic, we're often charged with being fundamental and like-- like religious people with our claims, and it's a really stupid claim. - It's also, I mean, skeptics, there's nobody more skeptic than an old Jewish man. - I'm still laughing at-- I don't care. - I don't know. - I don't know what you mean by that. - It's quite-- it's quite swollen. You can glue it back and walk away. It's your call. - I know. - I know. - What do you think? - I don't. It doesn't matter. - It's funny you said-- you mentioned the Jewish faith and skepticism. I'm ignorant a lot about the Jewish faith. There's a lot I don't know, but-- - There's your skeptical about it. - Um. - But one thing I often find, like-- because I love to watch debates and stuff, it's always the rabbis that, like, to me, seem to bring the most logic to the table with the debate. - This is my fault. - I don't know. - This is all Arthur's fault. - It's my fault. - Banks Arthur. - I think where this is going, this is fun. - Sorry. - I don't know. I really-- I respect a lot when the Jewish way of thinking. - Oh, yeah. - It seems like things use a lot of logic. - I'm still just laughing at the-- - Because you have to never lose a rap battle. - I'm still laughing at Eltonos. I don't care about that comment. - Sorry. - Sorry. - Did you play any more crisis or have you been to-- - Ben, you know what, Arthur, you mentioned faith. - Here's the thing. You mentioned earlier about being reserved about the value prospect of children of Eden. And I'm sitting here thinking, like, fuck, crisis is, like, what, 50 bucks? - It's 60, 50 pieces. - And Minecraft is, like, what, 20-- how do the Euros translate? It's, like, 30 dollars. - For now. - There's something-- - Oh, wow. I'm on Minecraft back then. - And I'm just like, dude, I'm-- - I'm not that much. - I'm so much more wrapped in Minecraft than, like, crisis too. You know, I don't feel buyer's remorse for crisis too, but it's just kind of like, you know, I'm having a lot more fun with Minecraft and it's a cheaper game. - Right. - I don't know. - It's weird. - This happens to provide yourself earlier. - Was the difference between buying GIJOs and Legos, right? - Legos are fucking expensive. - Well, that's true. - Yeah. - You guys looked at the price of Legos-- - Legos don't break at the penis after six months of using them, like, GIJOso was dead. - Legos are ridiculously expensive, but I still, like, my girlfriend and I were at Target the other day and I was walking by the Lego section and I had to give it a-- I had to give it a flyby. - Right. - I still do that. - Yeah. - I was getting that giant Darth Vader Lego man that they always have in the hall. - Oh, sure. Act like you haven't bought Legos in a while. I saw the fucking gonzo puppet on your desk today. - I haven't-- I always hated Legos. I was one of those kids. - Really? - I fucking hate Legos. - He was a duplicate. No wonder you had such a sad growing up. - You were a duplicate? No one was a fucking duplicate. (laughter) - Legos are the reasons why I'm a cracker. - You got cursed by Duplos. - I was thinking it was like, fuck creativity. I'm gonna buy my toys whole. - Yeah. - That's why parents-- - Okay, well, to be fair. - I'll show you guys by going to art school. - To be fair, I'm that way about games. I don't want to make the fucking game a game. - I'm the exact same way, right? - Like, I was the exact same way. - I paint, I write, I do a lot of other things. I would prefer to play someone else's shit. - Me too. - Yeah, I'm not gonna build Snake Mountain. I'm gonna go fuck them. I'm creative all day. I gotta go home and build somebody's video game. - I'm not gonna make lessons so that some asshole can play it. - This is what I mean. I said earlier, Minecraft isn't for everyone. If you don't like Legos, you probably won't like Minecraft. - I love Legos. - You'll probably love Minecraft. - You know, I just learned that there's no such thing as a Lego. It's only Legos. - That's right. - Oh, it's with an S. - Oh, it's with an S. - Really? - Yeah. - You have a Lego. - Oh, so it's a Lego? It's a Legos. - It hurts when I step on that Legos. - Yeah, I stepped on a Legos. They'd be like, "Well, learn your plurals." - That's just wrong. - And then watch your step. - That sounds like a weird island in Greece shaped like a square. - Were they gonna spang out all day? - Yeah, I'm the little raised divots in the island. - No, in the holes. - You can sleep in them too if Rick Moreno shrinks you. Next. - So nothing but Minecraft. - Dude, nothing. - You completely lost the plot of anything but Minecraft. - He's so far enough. - Well, we'll see you in a couple of months. - It's this bad. I'm not even playing Battlefield when my friends are texting me when I'm playing Minecraft. - Mm-hmm. - Ugh. - It's the true sign of an addict. - Yeah. - But you know what? A lot of people do tell me. - Stop being. - Stop it. - People tell me, "Give it a month and you'll be done with it." - I have people that have done that that they go real hard on Minecraft for the first couple of weeks and then they slowly drift back to games of purpose. - I could see that happening to me. - I'm really sad. You know the last game I really did that with? - Animal Crossing. - Really? - Dead serious. - You're not the only one. - I don't know why. To this day I couldn't tell you why, but I had that kind of Minecraft effect on me. - You always wanted to work in a small craft. - Yeah, I think you would like Minecraft. - Yes. - I'm fucking sure I would love Minecraft. It's the exact same reason I haven't. - I don't know that you would like Minecraft because it's too much like work after you spend all day trying to make stuff. - But it's fun looking. It's so simple and fun looking and inviting. It's like, "Yay, welcome to our wonderful world of Black City." It's so much fun. You can build things. And I'm like, "Yay." - Six weeks later I emerge haggard and covered in scars. No one wants to talk to her anymore because I talk to rats and they live in my eyes. - What? - I don't need that. - But that's the craziest shit with Minecraft is it's like you may not think that you're going to enjoy it, but then you have these, you do some mining and then you have like an inventory full of stone blocks and you start placing them down and suddenly you've made a room and you're like, "Well, I think this room needs to be a little bit bigger. What if I put on a second story? How about I build a staircase?" And like, pretty soon you know you're fucking building a castle and a dungeon and trying to populate it with monsters and like it just creeps up on you. - And you don't even have to pay rent to a raccoon. - Right. - And then you're hit. - It's a department store. - And here's the other thing that really annoys me when you turn off your DS too early. - The game is extremely deep. Like I was looking around on stuff that people were doing, you know, with things apparently you can do shit like breed horses, like what the fuck. - You can also create logic boards like game logic boards because there's this like this red dust stuff and then you can you can apply that to any surface and you can apply on and off switches to it. So I saw a Minecraft video of this guy who made a logic board that's ready for all the proper IO inputs to do computing and like he would walk up and like hit a sign to turn on a switch and he could like add numbers with it and stuff like that. - Jesus. - Wow. - He made transistors in Minecraft. - They should make Minecraft too using that. - How long does it typically take to build your little fortress? - You're a little fortress. - You're a little fortress. - Well, seriously, like if I would play this game and be interested in it, which you know, games like this kind of shit out of me because I lost months of my life to roller coaster take me into. (laughter) - I love that I got a free pass for Animal Crossing, but roller coaster taking is where we travel. - Well, what are we gonna say? - Other than you fucking man, baby. - I lost months of my life. - How many apples do you owe that asshole? - But like how long does it take you to build something to walk away and be like, that's done-ish. - Never. - It depends on how big you want to go. - It's never. Yeah. Arcer's the right answer. - It's pretty much never if like you want to build like a massive fortress. If you just want to build a one room shack, you can do that in an hour. - Yeah. - Well, there you go. - That's what I'm wondering. - Yeah. - Start off with a shack and then build it into a castle. Like how long would it take me to put a roof over my head? - Just to put a roof over your head? - Maybe an hour. - Okay. - Probably less. - You know, it's advisable to kind of like build yourself a little safe shack like right when they get go because it gets dark really quick. And when it gets dark is when all the monsters come out. And at first you're like, oh, these monsters ain't shit. But then when you actually start building stuff that you care about and like a creeper comes along and the thing is when the creeper's touch you, they can make themselves explode like a bomb or whatever. And it blows the shit out of everything. - It's like, why do monsters hate architecture? - No. - No, they can't-- - Are they representing a border? - Yeah. - Well, they can't open doors. Maybe that's the-- - Oh, so they're wrapped in cars. - Mm-hmm. - Are they? - They can't open doors. Oh, they're raptors. - Oh, they're raptors? - Oh, they're raptors? - They're raptors open doors. - Yeah, I saw that movie. - Sorry. - Raptors open doors. It was a hit. - Great film. - No, I always just felt bad for like the guy who rented his summer house or whatever in like Resident Evil and all his windows are broken every time he goes away for the weekend. It's fucking dogs. - All his plants are gone. - Oh. - And the local business contractor who-- - They even took the blue ones. - What's the blue ones? - Who wants the blue ones? - There's ridges tits every summer. - It's not fair. - Like, why can't monsters just leave homes alone? - Matt, save me. Have you been playing anything? - I played somewhere between three and four hours of Dark Spore. - How is Dark Spore? - I'm really liking it. I mean, like I liked it at GDC and it's pretty much the same game that it was at GDC. I'm getting the impression that the plot such as it is is pretty thin and that really they wanted the whole point of that game to be multiplayer and in a bit in a sense it's a little bit like magic in that like you really should be playing it online if you're going to get the most out of it. It's like a co-op and that sort of stuff, but it also, because I was super into Spore's creature, creator and the architecture building and everything. - The same thing that everyone played before they realized that Spore wasn't very good. - Yeah. I mean, like I played hours and like many, many hours of Spore, but all I did was-- - What an elevator pitch that game was, right? - Yeah. - Oh, no shit. But I mean, like as far as building stuff goes, I loved it and like the-- so you go and you get loot and then you can put it on your characters and any loot that you don't want, you can turn it into just like a, you can turn it into like just a window dressing kind of item, like something that's just to put on your character to change it. Like you get rid of all the stats, otherwise they take up specific offensive and defensive slots, like inventory slots in your character, but like I'm having a lot of fun, like, you know, dressing up my characters and putting all kinds of crazy appendages on them and things like that. It's really cool. But like the whole-- - You can do this, huh? - In slots? - Yeah. - No. - I mean, like-- - You're going to be another massive penis monster rush this time around, like six-- - No, you don't have that much control. - Six pairs of tits on it. You don't have that much control. - And people making these like dilapidated cryo tube retard versions of Mario, they always do. (laughter) - In fucking everything. - Quick time out, we do not support the use of the word retard. - I didn't say that. It was like a-- - Fucking ass. (laughter) - Extra-wide chromosomal Mario's are really just digging holes in here. - Tongues and giant fingers, huh. - So dark spore. I mean, what's the point of dark spore I explained to me? - The search for more money. (laughter) - That's space balls too. - Space balls too. - That's a little different. But oddly spot on, 'cause that's what you're doing here. - It's just loot. - Yeah, it's just loot. It's a Diablo-ish loot game. Only what makes it really cool is the fact that you can switch through three characters. You have like a three character party, only one of them's on screen at any time, but you can switch them and they have different powers and depending on who's in your party, then you have party powers that you can access. So there's like your main character has two powers, then there's three other powers that you can access on any time based on who's in your party. And it actually becomes really strategic after a while because you're switching out your characters a lot to save on health and mana. And you're only using certain characters against certain types. If you go up against a character who's the same type as you are, then you take double damage. So you're switching out other characters. And I'll do things like I'll bring down a character which creates a healing tree with an aura around it and I'll hit the tree and then I'll immediately switch to another character and that tree will stay up for a little while healing people while I'm using my tank inside of the tree. So it's good stuff. It becomes like a coordination effort between your mouse hand and your left hand only instead of being, but they made it just complicated enough that it feels really deep without adding a lot of extra shit on top so that you feel like you got all thumbs because you're trying to do too much stuff at once. I felt Altona dying a little inside during that whole thing. I understand thumbs. You can turn into a drinking game if you want every time he says mana, you can take a shot. Oh man. If I had a drink every time I heard mana my whole life I'd be dead by now. I had friends that played magic cards. Oh yeah. Well they actually caught power in the game, but I mean it's way more. It's interesting the whole switching out of the monsters things. It brings a little Tekken tag to it or something. Yeah. It reminded me of trying in a way. There is a cooldown on when you can switch guys out so you can't just do it all the time. And I didn't play Diablo. They didn't do that, did they? No. That one, okay. No. And I haven't played any multiplayer yet, but I'm looking forward to playing some co-ops. Supposedly that's where the best loot drops too. How is the loot? It's good because like every time you drop something you can put it on your character, or every time something drops you can put it on your character. Right. That's how loot works. Well I mean like, oh shit. Oh man. Damn girl. I think I just want more specificity. I'm confused. Tell him. So like, you know, like in an RPG you know only certain pieces of loot will fit on certain characters. Right. And it's like that in Darkspore as well. Only if there's a piece of loot that like you don't need anymore, you can either sell it back to the store for what's the game equivalent of its money. And or you can turn it into something that's just decoration for your character by getting rid of all the stats and then turning it into just a decorative item. I'm just imagining like some weird monster wearing a bra on its head or something. No bra on. But you can't put eyeballs in really weird. You may find armor underwear no fit. But I actually I'm really enjoying the mechanics of it. It's hard to sit hard to say yet if it'll actually hold up. And other than that I played I can't remember the name of the game now Mortal Kombat. I play Mortal Kombat no I did not actually play any Mortal Kombat. League of Evil released an update so I played some more of that. It's got like another 15 stages or so. So and they're really good. That game is awesome. I hope to keep releasing. Because all of their updates have been free. You don't have there's no. I love them. There's just for it. Yep. It's fucking great. It doesn't happen enough these days. Doesn't happen nearly enough these days. Yeah. That's like there's such a market for that that people don't understand that you can totally grab someone for a year by doing that instead of just hitting them every couple of months. Like I mean I get the whole Call of Duty map acting that they do all the time and people buy into that either way because they're trogglodytes but I think there's a smart way of doing that. Really appreciate your tolerance. It's true. No, trogglodyte is something different than Mongolade which is something different than retard. You think I don't know. I do think you know you're assholes. Jesus Christ. I mean speaking of which they've been playing the new map pack at work and it's rare that like I come to work in field dumber. Right. Then when I got there I tried like I mean I think we you know we make a lot of ticket for jokes at IgM but I think we also try to stimulate each other's brains a little despite the popular opinion of message boardites who go around putting journalists in quotes like as if we all have Anderson Cooper's find out when Spyro got delayed to or whatever. Fuckin idiots that we're supposed to have like these well-bred geniuses finding out like if Kratos is gonna have a Bay Ballet or not like we hit the CNN's gonna cover that shit. We write about toys for a living you fuckin idiots. Learn. Yeah when I come in and there's kids playing you know Nazi zombies or whatever six hours straight I definitively the I feel stupider as I leave that day like the new one the new map pack have you seen this shit that has George Romero walking yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah dragging a stage lamp and he's like winning reality George Romero could not lift out that light is fucking heavy like the equipment he's just swinging our water around and he's actually George Romero will never work with a cast like that again no but he zombie George Romero yeah so he's like extra strong now. Oh so like he was three movies ago right oh George it's just tough to watch and then like people buy into it and Scott and I have said enough about Call of Duty to not have to say anymore but I will. I just don't understand and that's why I really appreciate when a company is like hey we have a really big legion of followers who love what we do let's do something in return. Are you talking about Valve and Portal 2? Yes. It's like hey free shit the summer guys why cuz we fucking love you yeah why cuz what are you doing while you wait also because every time we give away free stuff you come to our marketplace and all the other shit we love to see what's up every time we give away free stuff you come back to our marketplace and look at the things we're selling and you buy it yeah true still I'd rather have that than the Activision stance or online service it isn't working right now what time does what do you mean where have you been I don't realize you actually went down a mine shaft to play Minecraft no I didn't actually didn't hear what you said I said it's a bunch of Chilean miners Chilean minecraft I was supposed to pull up some archival trash Hey guys remember the Monica Lewinsky blowjob thing blocks we have enough to go out please make me suppose no I just said they probably a peach rather you said to steam you said I'd rather have that than the alternative and I said which is an online service that isn't working right now yeah Nintendo yeah I don't know I don't know I don't I don't think it counts of it never worked to begin with right oh shit oh shit you hear that shit Reggie see you in the streets bitch oh shit coming for you in your hair you'll be driving in the pote mobile you'll never get near him is in a Mario Kart surrounded by bananas he's pulls a blue turtle show out of his pocket yeah yeah I've been playing anything else other than spore dark spore other than dark sport I'll do evil not really no no no I don't know you don't play games yeah fuck you now I played a little Mortal Comet yeah I did you borrowed my fight pad right I did which I needed to cuz the 360 controllers so well the diva is terrible yeah and the details but yeah um it's fucking I I'm amazed that they took this thing that they somehow tricked us into thinking was cool we were 15 and they fucking made it younger exactly yeah we were 12 and they fucking did the exact same thing again like they're like hey kids do you like I'm my boss I was patient who dresses like an 80s workout lady and then the guy that turns into a dinosaur and then the man made a smoke and we were like yeah it's the fucking 90s like my fucking school pictures full of laser bolts sure I'll fucking take it and then they ask kids again now and kids are like yeah sure yeah are you sure you all have like iPads and three moms and like you don't need this and like no I want the Terminator to rip someone's heart out yeah wait can you get the really bad 80s failed movie actor to which we have no point of reference for anymore oh he's back oh he's he he starts the story campaign oh you play as him for the first 45 minutes yeah sure oh it's $60 again yeah sure yeah sure and they fucking made it again and it's lovely and I don't I to me it fascinates me because I'm playing it against like scorpion kato yeah they got that guy he wasn't working and it's the same fucking game like I played it with my girlfriend who hasn't played Mortal Kombat since Mortal Kombat played Mortal Kombat and she's like it's a while and I'm like yeah what's up so it's been a while yeah it's been a while and I'm like whoa what are you thinking she's like well Sony is back I'm like yeah she's like in scorpion and Luke hang and everybody else like is there anyone like nope not really did you actually have this conversation yes we did and I'm like no there's not really anybody new and she's like well what about what about Barakka and they brought there you know the meanest thing about Barakka is that I went to high school with a girl that we called oh dude she earned it fucked up Barakka yeah there is there's also it really did she have giant knives in her hands this what there is a movie named Barakka really incredible movie called Barakka yeah I mean it's just it's it's totally found he's not the game that they made that game again it's like it's like it's it's I guess it gets a free pass because they fucked it up for the last ten years yeah I thought to try it again but I mean imagine if we're sitting right here and all of a sudden a lightning bowl at the table and a new copy of killer instinct for 360 hit like whoa and a smoke machine filled the room so you get a couple who the fuck is gonna get excited for that I think all of the Nintendo fucking man babies are gonna flip their shoe would I enjoyed the first time of time comes out for 3ds because that's exactly what they're doing you fucking taught me you jerked off over steel diver for three months until that fucking game came out steel diver the 3ds game for 3ds no we were really Scott and I we were shitting on it if we could have rented helicopter shit to shit on that game from it e3 I think we went up and shit on that game and everyone can use on HBO well he used to be an NBC in my mind still diver I think I was on a on NBC right like calling Katie Kirk like a con behind the scenes yeah right whoa that actually happened sure sure like Scott should know and would give us an honest answer if he did he also drowned at the war would you and then willard Scott fucked Katie Kirk mhm Mortal Kombat I mean you want to know the thing that's really gonna make you sad is that Mortal Kombat is very handily out selling portal to at least oh yeah I mean it doesn't that it doesn't make me sad as much as it completely shocks well but at the same time we don't know steam numbers do we know now we probably never will and they said they have no reason to even read yeah that could be a large chunk sure could be yeah I just thought I should bring it up for I still think that Mortal Kombat is out selling it probably like even with steam thrown in for good measure I'm not happy about it like it's because the the because it's got a hook I mean people will play games like Call of Duty see Mortal Kombat in their game stop and they say hey I remember playing that as a kid oh it's even it looks better now and so you think you think it's a test just on people are each them absolutely you don't think there's any little kids there are little kids who are like us when we were twelve they're like whoa that guy got ripped in half cool granted everyone in the office watched every fucking mentality in that game go wow including you two assholes I think the best thing not me not me the one the one I went cool was a whatever the red robot dude we meet sure I think sirens when he shot it out it would it was like his hidden it could be sirens in someone's chest and it goes off and then it spikes out like a scarecrow and all of his all of his limbs are spread out like the Blair Witch stick figure they're just dangling there I told you my idea for a fatality right no Blair Witch Project well basically so one character is about to kill the other and then apologizes to to him like profuse friendship and then they come become friends for like a decade and he meets his yeah he meets his daughter and they fall in love and they spend like six or seven years together and they go on like a really nice three week trip to Venice and he proposes to her on a gondola it's funny because this joke feels like it's going on about 18 years yours is next and then they come back to America and they're at the author and he's about to say I do and then he murders everyone but the father who was in the original Mortal Kombat laughs in his face see that fatality like that would justify the five writers that the game has yes yes also Mortal Kombat had five writers five writers five fucking writers to go K no no have him say five five writers and not one toasty no toasty no there's toasts are there yeah there's toasts oh yeah oh yeah I mean there was the writer who had to go like and then scorpion went into the nether world and found shamed song and took off his mask and all the elderly people it's actually it's fucking if you watch the end needs there that no that ridiculous but what I love is that when you realize that at five writers if you play the story mode which I hope none of you do I know but pretty much everyone will the first ten minutes of it your play is Johnny Cage and he's like hey guys what kind of crazy movie is this and everyone on set is rotting and dying and there's guys with six arms and shit like that and he's like alright when it wins break we're in the caterers coming and then people start fighting and ripping out each other's body parts and he's like that's some CG excuse me sir failed actor and they tap in a shoulder you're in hell this is where you have to be forever now in an internal fight for the life of you oh man are you serious because I thought when I put all my glasses I can see pre-rendered CG I know you're dumb but fucking Van Dam never was that stupid no one of us had stupid yeah five writers five writers even on the set five writers not one of them said you can't see CG in real life five writer and there's people on the side with eight arms that are rotting they're like oh well that's good makeup that's cool it works more than that yeah well okay thanks for you to say thanks for reminding it's what you're talking about at the end and what a portal to I play some portal to you play a couple of hours for portal to you and then you watch the ending I'm an asshole I'm sorry I guess you went straight to the ending I didn't mean to is one of those things where I like kind of rage could a level it actually sounds like you did exactly what you set out to do with your age could a lot and I was in and then got stuck and was just dicking around on Twitter and some asshole site that I hate somehow follow cuz I hate and that's what you're supposed to do you know as a skeptic or whatever and then do they do they do they is it like a video game controller that they spell with the wrong letter the letter no no they're cool um no and then somebody tweeted about the ending of the game so I popped up and I watched it and it's awesome don't fucking tell me about it dude I don't sure are so many cows so many cows it's like the new cake is a lie thing it's now cows so just look for shitty devian art t-shirts about cows for the next six years thankfully I don't think devian aren't actually does t-shirts don't give them any ideas yeah mmm can't wait for that threadless what happened to cafe press they still do shitty merchandise they still do shitty stuff yep oh yeah yeah like that chopping out two thousand eight shirt on the wall over there I don't know that that was cafe press looks like they still make clothes it look like you woke up in an alley with an or like you got your wardrobe at a video game of that what's that you fell asleep iron in your family photos to your stomach cafe press it's like falling asleep in the sun with a picture of your friend we hear cafe press value nothing that's why we set out to make the world's worst everything most of everything we value nothing except your money scott yes did you play anything I have been playing portal to I've been playing out ends no I'm on chapter eight right now I'm taking it out at very slow cuz I love the first game so much that I just want to enjoy every single piece of this one how are you enjoying all the Nickelodeon gak that they put all over that game I love the gak me too I love it too there's they're towards the end of the game at least I assume I'm towards the end of the game now it gets a little tedious where they're like here's some gak here's a bridge here's a tunnel here's a this isn't that and I'm just like oh that's the most awesome part and there's just too much for me to hand you finish it out there yeah would you think of the cows Scott yes but there's just there are parts where you know you're like I know I need to get up there but oh Christ you mean I gotta put some goo here then I gotta put this time I think he used to putting goo there to get places yeah I'm very not in tunnels I would never try and put some goo tunnel that just ends badly takes 18 years to solve that puzzle you didn't unlock the birth control gun when metaphors die and become hamfisted yeah I thought there was like in one of the offices they have a bunch of wire hangers you can take care of the aperture science is way more evolved than that I don't know I love it I love how how the aperture science logo I mean if I'm spoiling that the logo changed shut up what the logo does change it does change but he was going to say what it changes to and people don't know I wasn't gonna I wasn't gonna change no no I'm talking about the fonts that they oh that throughout the throughout the ages throughout the ages I think that's really cool really cool really you had I think one of the coolest things that you said to me when we were talking about portal to is that you had a pretty interesting theory about left for dead yeah I did there I guess I will spoil apart it's it's early on it's early on I know that you're talking yes when Gladys says she's bored she might experiment bringing the dead back to life yeah oh motherfucker she started left for dead cuz I thought like oh Gladys you crazy for this one and then I came to work in Scott was like no she is actually crazy yeah oh yeah crazy for this one yeah I could be crazy but I mean they you know they mentioned I think deep inside we're all a little crazy well there I mean they mentioned black Mesa why wouldn't they why wouldn't they give a little tip of the hat to left for dead also yeah I put it to my Twitter you know I asked people they thought they were connected and a couple people pointed out some interesting things like the the paint cans and left for dead are the same brand of paint cans that you find around portal to yeah I mean like little that just means there's a local hardware star that distributes yeah yeah I mean they got these assets lying around it's very well could just be a tip of the hat by Val could not be you know may not be connected at all yeah but when I heard that but I so fucking wish it was right I know that was so bad ass like if they do anything like even if it's the slightest little inkling of a hint where they they bridge those two games of two or three games with me yeah like I would love to see an Avengers style valve and I'm just wait if there's a tip to Team Fortress 2 in there somewhere it's just like this massive everyone came together in one game well that would just be fucking weird because it's all of a sudden you'd like you'd be running from a zombie and left for dead you know open the door and there'd be a wacky cartoon person for a house where people are shaped differently yeah but they're also zombie and you run into a basement it's like an aperture lab and there's portals everywhere like whoa you close the door behind you like back to the zombies panel I'm out and then you can build a turret yes but I love I love portal to I'm taking my time and I think I'll tell you we've already talked about a date where we're gonna yeah we're gonna we're gonna do call together do that won't actually we already did a great did we did a Scott and I did a video for IGN we did I would be a douche and portal to which relatively fine yeah it was thrown together at the last last one was relatively fun to be on to you should relatively drink more vodka well maybe I relatively should position sucks does it now I love it here I wanna play portal to again just to experience all the fucking one liners yeah right they're endless and endlessly good yeah I was I was my girlfriend still doesn't understand the whole I'm playing this game it's gonna take a while if they're talking on screen now to talk to hear what they're saying so she came in and started oh did you hear what happened at school and I'm like oh really that's interesting like walk off a cliff die did you say what would I hear what happened at school yeah I don't think you said that I don't go to school with you yeah so she I don't go to a man's school yeah a couple times yeah like couple times last night when I was playing it was the first time I'd played in a couple days so you just had to start the world I was like all right cool cool story bro and then she went off to go study again and then I walked my character off off the ledge into the water so I could hear what he actually said right spoilers but congrats on them forgetting another fucking song stuck in my head right it totally did with this game well I can't wait to get there you did you should be you should me the cutscene remember what you do get to it it was like a little Easter like oh yeah you know what I never was so is that the song okay because I found that earlier I mean what's name wrote another song for it okay well what I did was I I showed I showed him because one of the things I'm doing with the game and why it's taking me so long as I'm like every little door that's open or something I was like oh I wonder how to get over there yeah like I'm like trying to find the I found those turrets places behind the wall yeah I found those turrets singing a song and a show it's almost like hey look at this I saw a crazy video of a guy who there's one puzzle where you have to we have to have the three lasers into the into the hole into the oh god yeah I opened up the door some dude did it without any portals what he he shot like he angled one of the boxes to hit one of the receptacles and then he walked he grabbed the other box and walked over to it and used that laser that was hitting it and just kept on tapping the two back and forth and I was back against the door so when the one moment that it opened for a second and it hit all three he just backed in actually it's fucking awesome it's so cool wow I got to try that and then I tried it now no way I could do that one little detail in Portal 2 that I really love like all those little devices like the laser device the jumping spring device even the little light bridge they all make little melodies yeah and they're really cool yeah I love it when you when you come a speed lead through a portal and it's all right and there's even that one section where you line up the three lasers and it makes the national song like actually plays it forms the different layers I heard your joke Althonno you didn't it was a big E reference B.I.G. P.A. I think I still love the first two minutes of the game where you wake up in the bed and it shows the recessed bed the game in for God knows how long yeah 60 years it just looks like the world's saddest New York apartment yeah like where they had a Jerry Springer had a knock down the walls to get the guy out of I want to have we talked about something today at that part where they play smooth jazz I wanted to hear more smooth jazz I wanted to have a whole level with that song playing I just wanted to hear that the whole series the smooth jazz all right we're going to take a break okay now we're going to come back and read some others I'm going to read the back of that I don't know what it's unboxed cause it's a nice thing to speak Come back baby, come back baby, fight off the laughter chain, don't go quietly, come back baby, say you would never give up easy, come back baby, come back Hello rebel FM crew, hello I'm a native San Diego and I've never had a burrito outside of San Diego including on my family trips to Mexico, ignorance is bliss because of what Wikipedia says on the subject of Arthur's recent tweets and comments made by the podcast you locked crew I don't even know what that means, unlocked it's the Xbox podcast on IG on the no one listens to this guy apparently Wikipedia say about burritos I don't know well I think I know where he's gone but I have the package it comes that they were like invented there well there's two distinct kinds of burritos oh San Diego one is from San Gacha there's three actually oh Jesus it's not even a fucking no okay Wikipedia the second section is varieties number one is Mexico number two is United States with subsection San Diego in San Francisco nice anything about New York there it says I have to know not fuck mission yeah fuck miss you are fucking awesome and that is not so that's not true I had a Korean burrito today because I'm smarter than you so Jose has to ask are the burritos here in San Diego really that good or Debrida's everywhere else just sucked that much and I would say that it's mostly the latter actually they really are that good and burritos everywhere else pretty much do suck except for the mission burritos in the mission in San Francisco I it's the tortillas I just can't do them why not you're not going to the right you're not going to the right talk no I've gone to fucking every talkery a motherfucker I have been on an epic quest for decent burritos in the ease in the bay area I guess you're you're now making your own yeah yeah I actually made tortillas yesterday that's the best that's that's the man because like me my girlfriend are from from the east coast and we just got so defeated with pizza out here that we're like fuck it we're making our own there's a really that's when you realize you've hit like the my quest is over and I'm right take the apple seed I will make my own kingdom yes tortillas nothing in the real books as you can't do that although it is difficult to make yeah delicious right thank you it makes sense because you kind of look like you know and you know there guys I really did I kind of look like a what an abolita like a Mexican grandma a tiny Mexican grandma with a beard abuelita means little grandma oh there's more than one hair coming out of my chair so Cass wants to know I've been thinking recently about the state of security and presentation and story or lack thereof this is the wrong podcast right I've been playing games for a couple decades now and I would like to see more games to grow up with gamers like myself the recent coverage of LA noirs peak my interest it looks to be more mature story telling do you guys think more games of this kind will get greenlit in the future I personally have my doubts although I may be just expressing my usual jaded and cynical self PS keep up the great music sound bites in your podcasts I'm not sure I I do know that I I don't really like rock stars games because I just don't like the open world stuff without much in the way of direction and their missions I was always been shitty and I know we've talked about this whole bunch of times but I seriously thought that grand theft auto for started out way on the right foot yes and then completely fell apart well I mean lost in the damned was a microcosm of that it started out really well and just fell apart but I can't really say anything about LA noir but Hillary Goldstein our EIC has played through and finished and more and talking to him you'll have to retweet this right now I'm not retweeting it I'm just saying that you'll say okay why might have to cut this out but hearing him talk about LA noir actually made me want to play it really yes my you know what I I like rock star games a lot but one thing I've always felt about stories and games and rock star does this a lot is I feel like if you're pulling too heavily from the way movies tell story you're doing it wrong yep yep like look at portal to look at Mortal Kombat okay no no you know what people talk about portal to his writing I don't think portal to portal to his story it's such as it is isn't gag right amazing have amazing story yeah portal to has great comedic writing for gags it has excellent world building and it's got one really good character arc but there's the story itself is fine don't virtually not exist take half life to have like once again half life to has a pretty boilerplate story but it has great situational writing disagree about yeah I agree with that point to I mean it's my point being I'm not trying to pick out a specific game that's the most amazing story I'm just saying the best game stories are told through the medium of the video game and not through the medium of the cut scene I think portal to is about the closest we'll get to like a Pixar as I think with a little bit more edge I'd say I disagree because our movies have humanity human they have a lot of heart which I don't think a single video game enslaved I mean we've talked about enslaved a lot last year but enslaved comes really close as far as developing characters that you who express emotion in a believable way other than fuck this bro bro we gotta slice them I mean did you play enslaved bro I'm in the dick dog enslaved what enslaved has the best facial animation of characters that I've seen okay they emote in a very convincing way right but I don't think we've we haven't seen in video games even even in portal to the type of silent character that you you feel you can't look at a video game character and this is this is primarily you know speaking from an animation storytelling point of view one of the primary roles is what is a character thinking and why does he feel that way you need to be able to express that in a single drawing right pose and I don't think we've achieved that with a video game portal to comes close in that regard with the robots because they are pretty expressive in a very simple way but a very clear way sure but I again I just don't think that the story of portal to is that like you go from point A to point B I mean we haven't hit the video game equivalent of the love montage from Wally or the love montage from up we got I hope I don't know if I can take us doing the love montage from up I still cry but you but but we have not achieved that in video games yet what about up the game and that had no that had no dialogue well no man thinking of portal to I will say I think portal to had a great story and I felt like the ending of portal to was incredibly I want I'm not I don't think that the ending of portal to is just something that happened it's no no no no no no no no you're not I'm not talking about the thing that happened but something that happens to a character at the end of it was really really touching and I felt a lot for that character I was like that kind of sucks I don't know that it's touching so much as it's just sad really really sad which already touches it's playing on cheap investment after being around for eight hours now there's one okay because I felt pretty satisfied with the one I saw I'm not saying it's not satisfying I'm just saying that it's not but I say I felt emotion out of the ending other than like a kickass other than fuck yeah yeah it wasn't that it was a this is a triumph yeah press bro to bro again in two years for sixty dollars Dragon Age 2 bro bro I kid I actually didn't mind Dragon Age 2 I thought that parts of limbo were almost close enough to try really close really close and then of course the whole thing as a whole was just like it and from limo falls apart towards the end well about halfway through well we're thinking when he gives only three hours I guess in terms of like what Scott was saying like from like here's a character he's not speaking you're just watching him interact with environment limbo capture that perfectly for the first half hour and it does it with sound oh yeah yeah and just general music right rumbling buzzing wearing noises and that's all you really needed yeah I was the core of the question is like would you guys like to see more more mature storytellers like games are games growing up as we're growing up I don't think I don't think really good writers necessary to to write those stories are willing to work in games yet I define growing up do you mean yet or do you because I think a lot of them tried probably during the wrong time like a lot of adults went and saw fast five myself included did sure shit wasn't a mature story right you know and that's fine there it did not everything needs to be that exactly exactly I think he's just bemoaning the fact that there aren't more you know there aren't more of the opposite of fast fives out there in the video game space but I'm thinking maybe maybe even this is from the ego standpoint of our writer but if you were a writer and you had that adult and that well thought of a story would you want to waste it on a game or would you rather waste it on a movie that it depends I mean when you write for movies really cynical to me I feel like that I've just feel that games have been underutilized because like people don't people don't want to take them in that I honestly wonder if the video games are honestly more collaborative than probably any medium and even movies right and they're also vulnerable to the demands of a production schedule in a way that other media aren't there's just too many people that are willing to make really brutal cuts to the narrative for the sake of getting a game out on time like they're too product driven and they're too well too many cooks to make the kind of story that they're expecting we we we recently what we put an article on braid in our in our second issue so now available in iTunes so well so it's fresh in my head about like all the reasons why I enjoyed braid and it's because it has like the rules set itself has a rhetoric to it if you're paying attention to how the game plays the get you playing with the controller is you telling the story and it's meticulously designed so that if you're paying attention to the motions that you make there are meaning attached in those motions so it's almost like it's almost like meaning and rhetoric and value and heart is written into the code of the game and I think that's when a game is at it's most fundamentally I don't know that's when it has the best use of video games as a storytelling collaboration is when that kind of stuff happens and you know Ian Bogost called it procedural rhetoric and you know that's kind of a um that's kind of a feels like nonsense right or whatever but then but a game like braid really does do that for braid I would for braid I would estimate the for like for every person that was blown away by braid's narrative there were two people that were turned off by how pretentious it was and just played it this one right here loved the game to death skipped over all the reading I don't think it's interesting one that like most of our greatest examples are games that but I'm not talking about the reading like eight hour five hour two hours I don't think that that's true I mean like people cite bioshock as a game with a strong narrative bioshock is like a six hour game no bioshock is like a 15 hour game and that's part of the problem is that most of the time you spend in bioshock is not time spent developing the story right it's time spent doing these things that I have very little to do with the story and that's the problem with games and story in general all of these arguments aside in movies the writer is treated like shit I'm just wondering if the writer in video games is treated worse it's just it's one of those they are because I mean the only time a writer is treated well in the in the entertainment field at least with my experience in talking to people it's in television like you're you're the god in television right however if you write a movie you're a second-class citizen like they do not want to talk to you at all you're you're a piece of shit even though you created everything that they're working on they don't give a fuck about like I remember when they were first selling the show Fringe and they were like JJ Abrams you know worked on loss but then they were like from the writers of the movie Transformers people were like what the fuck but that was okay because it was TV but you never hear like from the writer of that Metroid game they made with the Japanese guys last year that wasn't that good because you had to keep turning the weem out sideways and then it ended but see I think that's actually changing you know like now like Dragon Age the Dragon Age games are written by David Gator right and like Dragon Age is actually both games are really well written and the characters are well written and they're well acted and they're well voice acted with each other you know it's like it at all it that those that's the strongest part of the Dragon Age games and they put him out like front and center written by David Gator you know it's like so you know I think that's the kind of thing that as we grow up and as video games grow up we're just going to see more of it because you want you're you have people that as they get later in life they want to be taken seriously they want to leave behind a legacy they want to change the world they want to change their they want to change things through their chosen creative outlet I also think it's it's for gaming it's kind of a turnoff when you see I don't think guys at the same way but when you see like Sid Meier's Pirates man's name game yeah yeah yeah even in movies first love the title that doesn't happen very often like it never has it doesn't anymore it didn't even back then it was just like PC adventure games and like it was pretty good that happened here and there and I mean I think that's the thing there's within 90s was that there was a lot of um the Sid Meier directors and stuff like big name Hollywood names would attach to things and then you'd never hear from them in gaming game when Shane Acker made nine he was an above the title credit and that was his first movie right yeah well the Sid Meier thing though that came about because of an IP battle between the computer version and the board game version I do a boy and his blob so the other thing is I wonder if we're going to get like there is a part of me that wonders if we're going to get to the point where we will see game narrative take that leap and actually get more sophisticated simply because we are approaching a point where single player seems like less and less of a priority right and those games are having more and more of a difficult time succeeding well the funny the the catch 22 is you'll play a game with like multiplayer is a focus with a really shitty campaign and no one wants to play it yeah but if it doesn't have if it has an awesome campaign and no one wants to play it right now I think the interesting thing too is that movies have taken so much more from video games and video games have been able to take from movies the last decade I'd say I mean they look at this medium and ape it to all hell and then we can't get the concise nature of like start here and here well I mean if the influence because people are approaching it wrong if the absolutely where to fuck out video games as bad as as badly as the influence of video games have fucked up movies maybe we should be glad for that absolutely as well do you think it's something that like because writers know that it's not a start to end point two hours where they will definitely see their name up in like the title scroll that they don't attach themselves to these things no I think that it's the most game and this is after talking to a number of developers and writers on games the game design is in place before the writer ever comes on this includes Bioshock Bioshock didn't have a story before it went until real late like the big daddies and little sisters weren't in Bioshock until like the last nine months of development which is which is actually probably why we will never have a really good story because the great story it's not it's not just happened here's my reasoning because great movies and tv shows start with an idea start the writing comes from the original creator unless the guy who creates the game and develops the mechanics and all that is also a fantastic fucking writer and knows story I don't think we'll get there so here's and so but it's not just that it's also that writing is the first thing to go because the game concept is the most important the mechanics are the most important so they'll if they're coming to a point where they're not sure if tech can pull something off they don't rewrite the story more often than not they'll just cut giant chunks of the game and add like a little bit of dialogue here a little bit of dialogue there and as a patch job so this is effectively our fault um you know it's not just our fault it's the nature of the business is it because I mean as a medium of like a group I mean it's our fault if you believe in capitalism and we don't buy it so it doesn't succeed I'm not going back to Johnny I'm just saying if we're playing a game and all we care about is gameplay as a whole then aren't we kind of devaluing what our industry could be well no because if you're playing a game where the story is awesome the gameplay sucks it's not playing a game it's doing homework what if you're playing a game where the gameplay is awesome the story sucks and it sells for decades then you ignore the story people go on autopilot well I mean the it should fight for some sort of media well the only game in recent memory I can think of where the writer was there from start to finish was enslaved because it was Danny Boyle that wrote the script and Danny Boyle became an executive producer on that game so he was there from start to finish the entire time and that game has the most coherent story and narrative I've played in a game in a really long time well and it's like you know Scott Scott touched on a little bit ago but I mean that's it's exactly the kind of thing that needs to happen is that the the writer needs to think about how the gameplay design how he like he needs to think of it as a collaborative process like I'm designing gameplay that when the person is as an actor in the game is writing this story I I do think that writers the writers I talk to do see it that way it's not about the writer like struggling against the constraints but I'm saying that like you know like Scott said is they need to be there from the beginning they need to be like not just the writer they need to be like with enslaved they need to be a producer on the game well I mean that's that's on the game play at the same time they're writing dialogue like that's it's a bunch of nerds like who are obsessed with making the game that they always wanted to play which is why you have John Carmack survivalist fantasies that get delayed for three years but right now it feels like the way they make like direct to DVD animated movies right Scott yeah where it's like everything's done we just get a writer in it the last minute to throw in jokes off screen right or like say something like this and then it's finished well I mean downloadable games are probably the thing that we're going to see pushing the boundaries of story and games like limbo that's always that like we have to rely on like ten dollar games that take two hours to be to get to another example another example of a game with strong writing that still had problems because of the nature of the game was Alan Wake yeah like that was a very strongly written game but it still had some issues you know and that's because the game was supposed to be even like worshipful of the act of writing itself right and it was and it succeeds in a lot of ways but the game completely changed over the course of five years well it took way longer than anyone expected to prefer to be completed I just think that there are a lot of things that get in the way of writing in games like and and you guys I think could attest to the fact that the more people that are involved in the writing process oh it's the more fucked up it gets it's the same thing with the less people when you have like just well you need someone to tell you when something sucks of course yeah yeah let's try it but then when you have everyone saying this is awesome and then everyone wants to put their own idea and then and then you have no one to say it sucks all right next letter this one is from Michael it's also a little less heavy yeah Michael says hello rebel FM this is Michael from beautiful Fremont California oh shit I'm sorry and I have a question about paying headphones how's Fremont Ford right now I would like to purchase some gaming headphones but I'm a total audio is hard does that does that violate our policy I don't think if you could not say Tard and stuff that'd be good but okay but I but I'm a total audio neil fight I would like so I'm sure there's that's a joke what about those fights man I would like some that are compatible with my ps3 and pc and I have narrowed down my choices to two different types of gaming headphones what is the turtle beach px 21 and the other is the dpx 21 these gaming headphones are almost the same except the dpx 21 has a simulated 5.1 7.1 surround sound while the px 21 has amplified stereo the dpx 21 149 the px 21 is 79 so my question is is it worth to pay around 70 bucks more for simulated surround sound I think you get what you pay for I also think the turtle beach headsets I've heard sound like shit I'm not a big fan of turtle beach either I mean like I do really like my Astros and I mean I'm just trying to justify my purchase honestly the only you know I mean I didn't pay I can second the Astros for my headphones yeah like the the a40s are the only gaming headset that I've used that I haven't hated like just that I've just had a visible sound quality I just fucking get that also beats by drag if you want to pay three hundred dollars for just the headphones yeah they do sound good though also earbuds by any apple product don't just use those oh god damn you what someone's asking the Bose earphones what the fuck is my cat doing behind me I had a nice business like three or three years the Bose in your headphones that everyone is like wearing now they're like a hundred bucks are actually pretty good they've got good bass response but those that's not really for gaming but someone asked about it so I thought I've mentioned I use those for my gaming headphones do you yep isn't the cord a little short I had to buy an extension so yes extension extension is like it's good man it hooks me up man but with the bass response you have to have them set just perfectly in your ears otherwise the bass won't carry yeah it's very weird the way works like vibration or some shit well I mean obviously sound of vibration right I know what you're saying Tyler so yes Rihanna is beautiful um yeah I I mean I'm not trying to cost you more money but I am gonna cost you more money did the turtle beach but you know what but the thing is uh you know if they're planning is just to have the headphones a damn it's you're running a fucking daycare in here if they're planning us to have headphones they could just invest into good headphones I mean the whole point of like gaming headphones is they have the mic okay so uh this one I'm not going to read the whole thing it's kind of a long letter it's from Evan um he was just wanted to point out this game that apparently some friends of his or he's working on or whatever but anyway I checked out the trailer it actually was kind of cool it's a side scrolling shooter where you're a guy on a jetpack and uh a little bit like our type but I guess without the options I mean that's what it looked like to me anyway so not at all like our type so not at all like our type but except it's just a side scrolling shooter but the cool thing is that it's actually set and completely synced to a progressive metal album and the music changed a lot throughout the course of the trailer and the game like stayed right along with it it was it was very very strange but it was really cool so I just figured I'd give them a plug it's uh the game is called last chance to reason and it's at lastchancetoreason.wordpress.com not new grounds you have an excellent job of reading that like we didn't just read that email yeah well I'm a faker uh and I will say once again I fake orgasms all the time get a get a domain that's not WordPress how do you do that fake orgasms as a guy yeah you just it's pretty fucking sad happened oh oh that's your faking one I don't even want to hear it when it sounds like when you have ties into thinking they're vaginas no they just grab a you just grab a thing elmer's glue be like all right then you're then you're there forever you're like an elephant hanging upside down from our trapeze yeah best stuff really works pretty much throw some video on it so this one i'm not going to read his name because he said please keep anonymous in all capital wow oh so he brought down the psn yeah and then this one is specifically for you well done who guys uh scutt brine yes all right here we go miss what up guys what a love blow jobs blow guys suck it's worse now what stop yelling okay so i'm 20 years old live at home with my parents along with my hell yeah cool all right party with about your mama's tits who knows how to hang yeah this guy all right go to your house kegger and your momorators let's drink your dad's vodka and then fill it up with water who let back a six pack of hooches kegger and your momorator oh shit your mom's got a shitload of zima let's drink it seriously it's not like a really good so uh so anonymous is 20 years old and like i said lives at home with his 28 year old brother whoa man your old brother his name's chas and he knows magic oh shit he can buy us beer a bit of history last year my brother last year my brother moved out for the first time but it only lasted four months hell yeah chas later on he started dating a lady with a girl of her own Prager's at 17 he convinced us like the guy that gets turned into the pile of shit and weird science he convinced our folks to see if they could move in they can convince him he's a magician he stayed with us for five months he changed his name to david copperfield now for some seedy shit i don't think my brother ever had dreams in terms of career before he was 18 he always talked about how he was about it 18 now he gets mad with my mom tries to enforce rules on him blah blah blah blah basically this guy just goes on for like eight paragraphs talking about what a loser his brother is and his girlfriend is and totally not cool dude yeah and uh then he starts talking about her daughter i'm just not going to redeem it all right uh show us your pants nothing more attractive than a what i thought we did sound check for this very purpose no we're in a fucking apartment not a soundproof podcast that's a very good job tell you're with a chaz i hope he pursues his dreams and i love him because actually funnier than all the yelling you just did stop yelling arthur i like your mp4 now back on my brother i am losing our respect for the man calling him a man isn't even a title that fits in he really just he's really disrespectful disrespectful disrespectful to me did you breeze over the part where he touched the daughter is that no he just talks about how the little girl is kind of a bitch and of course her parents are a fucking nightmare i know exactly and then says uh one time on his birthday he invites his friends on a week night to drink and play card games one of his friends brings his two friends they start to cry and he shows them in my room right when i was going to go to sleep what he texts while driving the way he drives is an accident way to happen not cool why he drives you see this stuff he has a he has a douchey fraddish attitude doesn't really have any respect for me or parents he still thinks of me as inferior the only comeback i can think of is moving out as soon as possible and just not care about him anymore i admit i am unemployed a.k.a writer i have actually taken bromley's tip to heart and finished my first script last month good now write another one exactly and make it concise unlike this letter yeah yeah this letter is any indication finding editor as a point of comparison it's supposed to be 300 pages oh blah blah then he talks about his other brother who's actually a good guy and has his ship together uh anyway with him can i not like my brother question mark i don't like you redeeming the factor and try to have and i try to have the shortage even when i try to have the shortest of conversation with him your take please so he just wants to know if it's okay to not like his loser right can i answer this yeah go ahead all right so i think one of the worst things that has ever happened to humanity is that we feel some sort of inherent necessity to love those that are family i don't know hear me um i think it's a fucking crime because i think it's not fair anything outside of family we're allowed to pick and choose those who we love and who love us and like our friends and stuff like that like we get to decide who surrounds us i mean aside from like you might go to work and you might hate it there you might go to mcdonald's and the guy behind the box with the fryy letterface is yelling at you and you're not cool dude but your family are these people that you're supposed to like you're forced to love forever but a lot of people in your family probably really fucking suck like i have ants and uncles that suck and like i don't want to be hanging out with them i have to see them for like six hours a year yes terrible yeah but you turn into a black preacher i'm just doing arthur right now with someone's on a roll i'll just break it like when did you turn into this when did you turn into that oh yeah i know i trample all over all your fun am i the only one that could ever reach you well does that sound of a preacher if you try no but i really think that that's one of the biggest crimes is that we have to feel right now in society as and i hate talking like in society as a whole but that we feel like we have to be tangibly tied to people who have the same blood as us forever right well like you have shitty people in your family i have a twin sister that i don't get along with at all yeah and i mean he's a twin sister right well but i mean if you have a brother that sucks don't worry like listening to way this guy describes this guy by the way you're terrible at writing please don't have to write better um your brother will finally wrap himself around a tree in a moped one day and then you'll be like oh man he had good qualities like the time chass like filled the pool with Kool-Aid and it was fun and my dad came home blame me but for the most part this guy sucks and just because he's your brother doesn't mean he had to be friends so stop being friends and leave him alone and then like 10 years down the line your wife will be like how come you're not friends with him you'll be like shut up bitch you have people in your family you don't like either and she'll be like you're right and then you'll kiss also when i said i don't think that's what happened also to this kid when when i when i said hey finish your script and write another one i didn't mean don't do anything but write your script have a job and write your script on the side if it's your passion do it at night you will find the time to no Scott he also he also wrote us a letter that's true it was close to a script it's true the uh so one last one here is it about banging sort of yes uh this one this one's from Kyle hey Kyle what's up uh so he says something big is going on my family there right now and i could use some help oh i got that jerk uh i have come to very much respect all of your opinions mistake yeah that's not again and feel that you offer good advice wrong regardless that this is the podcast mainly about a hobby that we love for the past two years my younger brother has been questioning his sexuality oh i'm 21 and he's 19 this has actually been to my understanding and on and off thing that he's been going through uh what makes this situation difficult is my brother's refused to open up to anyone else about this besides me and my father my dad is a staunch conservative christian so i'll let you feel in the details on he feels on how he feels about this as my father and i were discussing all the details i have no idea what's that mean yeah same guy that believes that an old man put two of every animal on a boat because God smited the earth with water yes same man who believes that there is a little man with a pitchfork so he says his mother found out and snakes then he says that my mother just keeps reiterating how he should deal with it i corrected her several times and told her we aren't dealing with anything since that kind of talk has such a negative connotation to it and only we simply needed him to acknowledge what he is and help him go through it my brother's by no means a bad person and his sexuality isn't something that will affect my relationship him as a student however from the information that's been presented to me i believe his frustration with his orientation could impart be linked to stressful extraneous events and not just a pure sexual desire the last time this happened from what i aware of he was attending continuation school for his high school diploma who was likely worried about whether or not he would pass need to roll for another year so he's saying like stress causes his homosexual no his problem is brought away now let me let me let me let me try cause by having an asshole brother who questions anything he does no let me finish he kind of redeems himself here uh... he said he suggested to my parents over the course of the discussion that he needs to stop pretending that these feelings are going to go away just because he doesn't talk about them we agreed on this thankfully i'm planning on taking and i'm planning on talking to him about the idea of him actually going on a date with another man to see if he could potentially see himself pursuing a relationship with a guy my ultimate problem is that my parents do not want to encourage his potential homosexuality but at the same time they don't want to repress it and see his frustration turning into drug or alcohol abuse what i would like to be able to go to the smack i don't know eighties psa tapes could write into your show yeah so he said i would really appreciate any and i'll input from you guys and i'm just 18 he's 21 and his brother's 19 no pun intended but maybe i should butt the fuck out of his sexual orientation don't be an asshole right yeah i mean i know i mean it's like he's fucking 19 right like he doesn't need your guidance anymore he needs your support be careful i mean like you know my uh real close cousin to me it is like uh if you would ask me i knew my whole life he was gay but it's like when he came out to his parents you know they sent him to all these therapists to try to un-gayify him and and he did uh i mean he's in a serious drug rehabilitation place now i mean it you know where he lived he was surrounded it was not only texas but deep east texas like way in the deep bible belt and uh you know so maybe you should convince him to move well that's that doesn't i mean that sounds slightly well that's not the first time that i've heard of you know somebody who's in that kind of situation ended up returning to drugs you know no i mean like people search for an escape for all kinds of different reasons but i mean this doesn't seem to be quite that bad i mean it's clear that his family actually cares about him even if they're going about it in a rear in a weird way but i mean i think the kind of like what you were touching on brian i think like my when my girlfriend was going through chemo a few months ago like she was saying the hardest thing is for people to not want to try to fix things all the time right like they always want to like help you do something and and like and when you're you know when you're super down in the dumps and feeling like shit for months in a row sometimes you don't want anybody to try to fix things you just want them to be there for you so like just show your little brother support and let him figure it out on the shit i'm the same way when i when i get sick for four days like i don't want anyone waiting on the hand and foot i don't want to feel like i'm a sympathy case like let alone like if if if you're homosexual living in america in this day and age to be treated as like your disease and that you need curing and you need to be dragged into like homes to keep you from falling on drugs as if like that's a gateway like i mean shit i'm gay for peanut butter snickers like it doesn't mean i've seen him fuck him it's true i start through i haven't had i haven't had chocolate in two weeks it's not pretty it's not pretty i mean it doesn't mean i should be like whoa i'm going to go suck a dick behind the alley for heroin no i'm just gonna not be a better snickers until i can get them again almost fit and also don't don't try to convince yourself that people are not born gay they are born that way they don't it's not a choice made a guy go roll a whole song about it yes you don't make a choice to be gay she steals everything but yeah i totally get that like the whole i mean i i don't think that yeah i think he's trying too hard to fix his little brother just like i figure it out right and like give it your fix it's the operative word it almost sounds like he's using his little brother as an excuse to fight with his parents right yeah the best way to help him is to not help him at all or support just support you know what i mean don't look like you like you said don't don't be like i'm gonna help you through this situation that hey it just seems like where he is is not a good place for him whether that means around your parents and you or where you live that maybe it is not the best place for him i mean it's sad to say like i just watched all six episodes of of last season of nova a pbs science show and uh in this one particular episode they were talking about all they were talking about biofuels and uh so there's a guy that lives out here in the bay area and he's really um trying to promote switch get switchgrass is a biofuel because it grows really tall he's really it's a lot better than ethanol lube yes but the the thing is it's like the guy you know he's gay and he had to come all the way out here from small town america because he didn't feel accepted there and it's like you know all all you mainstream and now he's following everybody about switchgrass it's beautiful no no i mean that's a good thing but it's like you know like all these main street america places you know if you're pushing your best and brightest out of your cities you know like who are you going to have to hold up you know that a mid america town could have a great scientist to say hey this is the home of him but no like they can't have a baby kick them out of here you know so that's not where that goes that's not doesn't go there you can't get a baby out of your butthole i'm sorry maybe i'm spoiled as fuck as someone who like lived in like new york in san francisco but yeah we'll take them can we have all your smart people because i'd rather have them here than in states where they're gonna get shit on but not too smart because the really smart ones are assholes yeah just don't start a fucking doc um like last meeting yeah don't start some don't start some fucking social media company called i don't path yeah like i don't care how much dick you suck but if you come out here and you're like oh man i'm gonna link you with your teachers forever i started a new site i'm gonna be like go back to texas and knock because you're gay because i hate my teachers i started a brand new social networking site for dogs it's called candles called pause they're all high-fiving it's a picture of two dogs high-fiving yeah it's called it's a social networking for dogs it's called pause but it's spelled p-a-u-s-e on pause there's only one tennis ball and every dog can share it and then i'll rip it up and it never falls in the sewer it's called pause hey dog you hey dogs do you like snipping other dogs butts but want to do it around the world hook your dog up to pause virtually yeah yeah i mean in what i still refer to as the flyover states and i'm sorry to say that but as long as they're pushing pushing progressive people as long as they're pushing progressive people away towards progressive states i'm going to be like yes i welcome you with open arms because i i want to live on one of the coasts yes welcome to water enjoy smart things happen near it um i i i don't think it's fucking smart ever happened there that's true even the Mississippi River is trying to leave clean water scot oh yeah i mean i i had to leave fucking texas i felt like i was going crazy there i don't blame you man i don't think if you're in texas i can see why unless you live in austin in which case you found the oasis right man enjoy that draft house i'm still on the uh fucking shitty social networks that are all over san francisco you just fucking go down yeah street and soma and you'll see the like the doucheous name of a company no i know exactly what you want to get anything in this apartment hey man there's a fucking there's a company that's in beta and they have like the nicest font ever and it's like the fucking eyes upside down and the dot is a flower they may in fact have an office in our building yeah it's like oh what's your company oh we're called kite sock yeah oh what are you hey isn't that a codename for assholes no it's not oh this is about liberating um people who have only one arm but the other arm is really good at waving like wait you made a sight out of that shut up yes we did shut up shut the fuck up we made it we've got an ipo kind of a popcorn machine suck my dick we have we have a pop-down machine we do all our interviews on tiger he's the one rare couch have you ever have you ever had the problem where you get too many stuffed animals we our company shoebox can handle all of that for you it's called animals it fits all your stuffed animals it's one giant animal that fits all your stuffed animals all 700 of them are you one of those crazy cat lady beanie baby people that collected over 600 beanie babies connected with others other crazy beanie baby like i'm crazy on and i use yes i hear you i feel like this is the manifest though that gets us to idiocracy we're getting oh we're getting there or so i mean if you if you look at how just even through a social network and say like no fox social network this is what you need to figure out that it actually is actually happening remember when you were five and you were thirsty and you went to the store and i want to drink and you walked in the store and there are five drinks you're like cool one of these you know it was the orange thing it was like the sunny d commercial like grape stuff that's crazy and everyone was sweaty um and now you walk into a store and there's like nine aisles of drinks and you can't tell what you want but you find out they're all owned by coke and pebsey yeah well and you know we're also headed towards wallie because every every person on the planet including in this room has their giant screens that they take with them at all times yes i have them up in their face exactly screen i know you love people love their screen i love it it's like it's like herpes at work more and more people are getting those goddamn things okay well that's right i'm saying you have herpes well then also let the people know that i pulled my tick out first but with the okay wow okay we pulled your tick out first but but and we we've talked about this before on our on our podcast the games by debriefings whichever one should list too uh how american language is just deteriorating because of laws xd omg like people kit like the letter r is not a fucking word it's a letter i love letters you evolve into the old timey man corner no it's to show you i show you can't you too many words not enough words i follow the the scientific american blog observations and i actually they had a they posted a little exert from a study that people have done on texting and they're saying that it's actually making us better spellers is it really yeah people are writing more now than they have in a hundred years yeah we'll find that out in ten years when people can't type in the observations it may make us better spellers but we're still spelling every other word every other letter is capitalized yeah that's weird that's why when did that become a thing that that seems like it's more i don't see that much anymore i don't know i don't know i don't see it as much as i used to art enough like i do over on that note it's totally different podcast schools get now ladies it's prom season is there a website for all right do the clear source of website i don't know i think we need a fucking exorcism to clean those things bullshit let's get hard it's the end yeah come on can we hit a mark if you like game magazines but not the paper what very fives contributes to this awesome new thing called atomics that you can buy on ipad so i don't know i just i just like so so you work so you work you're working on magazine right but it's for it's for the ipad so yeah but it's a gaming that if you would like to send us letters you can send to letters at east dash sleep dash game dot com but also how did you send letters without stamps hey should put a gaming magazine shut up you can follow arthur on twitter at a e g i es don't do that you can follow tyler at dirty tea like the drink i'm talking orange brian agent bizzle agent bizzle oh yeah it's got on her square bromley yeah and brian and i uh i plugged it earlier i'm gonna plug again go listen to the games by debriefings on uh on iTunes also scott and i might have a new show is called bad news yeah watch it on it's a new Facebook page it's fucking it's actually fucking hilarious and once again check out atomics on the iTunes store so what is it so what is this atomics atomics is a thing we've talked enough about it's a magazine for ipad about games of what what's an ipad thank you for listening what's a game we will not see you next week because you're not here what's a magazine what's a here next but we'll record what's a record without the apple what's an apple what's an apple what's an apple what's an apple what's an apple what's an apple what's an apple what is an apple what's an apple yes we will not have any feel continue gonna have my pretty some magic i'm gonna be bossing tonight pussy on the pedestal baby pussy on the tightrope who left that pussy in the elevator i ain't gonna put that pussy on a step ladder you have some letters are here uh hey kids stop really i see you did that that's hard label that's what i heard i mean i could be wrong this door just opened down this check check check check check check check hey scott no talk oh hey what's up guys i uh whoa everything's going loud and crazy you want to tap yourself down tiny but you're too everything's going loud and crazy whatever happened to video games i don't really know can you move the arm they don't make them anymore yeah i like turn the knob and scoot it further forward it's further back the black knob on the stand yeah i loosen that pull that the arm closer to you and then tighten it again extend the penis yep and then tighten it oh yeah oh that's a lot better oh girl so basically go like that so basically just make love to the screen yes make love to the screen and you can look at your boyfriend what you're telling me that's how i preserve my chairs that when i'm here i'm constantly licking the screen like a cat yeah it's like making out with the start anyway uh tyler hey whoa comic books look at them every time i have sound check oh yeah spines spines oh yeah um matt this is me talking in about my average voice that i normally talk to people at and this is me getting really loud oh fuck that i don't know how do that sound can you tap him down a tiny bit please don't tap me down jesus christ no no i want to be loud you are allowed uh raise your voice again this is me raising my voice whoa look out hey don't look at me like that brian jesus christ talk normally this is me talking normally so yeah i played this game last night it was just game with this thing and uh you know yeah i like this i like this game a lot because it was like all gamey and everything but that other game that was before the other game that game wasn't nearly as gamey uh five i think is muted uh brian you want to speak hey guys video games everyone loves to play those things they have got buttons and like crazy all right cartoon noises kapao kurzak uh kaboom kurpunzel kazooch talk normally hey how's it going arthur i love to be on your show for babies so we got to talk about games like old ladies you almost rammed is that a rhymed do you think baby's and ladies that rhymes uh raise your voice one more time yeah brat brat brat dj author in the house house uh turn him down it's honey a bit more because when he does that he clips turn me up on my mic oh shit all right you just need to make sure that you're talking into the oh okay oh do the dj how am i doing now oh no god you're good i really really don't know it's a screen videos slow do it do similar do it sexy do it sexy are you tired of video game magazines well video games these are boring what's with all the paper ah what happens if i try to light it with a match all my hands and those hundreds of subscription cards that fall in your toilet oh what am i gonna what are i live a bird cage donnie did you clog the pooper again yes i did because i've been eating magazines well buy an ipad you fat zilch how much does that cost too much what can i do with this ipad um angry birds and the other thing these guys did one of them has glasses the other one i think he worked on it too wow that sounds so much better than a magazine what's a magazine it's the future what's the future someplace and time we haven't been yet does it have subscriptions cards fuck no fuck yeah try the new video game app for app magazine app fans who hate app magazines who love magazines but hate apps but have an ipad and tarmac's magazine coming soon to the i-store from the makers of atomic bombs no quick herney get in the fridge i hated that movie it's non-canon i i think we're sounding what's a canon you guys have a commercial now yeah it's something they only said atomics once at the very end atomics oh that was awesome on the radio you guys are my heroes uh everybody talk at once please i love you baby um you were so crazy apparently it's important for mexico mexico looking at you post heroes it looks like this one i wanted you to cook you but i already showed up what go out on ads that's all i said tap title we're up a tiny bit mexico three yeah and then we're good mexico