Rebel FM
Rebel FM: Episode 88 -- 01/04/11
Join IGN.com's News Editor Jim Reilly and Area5.tv's Ryan O'Donnell as we discuss a bunch of older games. OK, OK, it's not all old stuff, as we eventually dive into our question of the week, touching upon both our own GOTY and our audience's selections. We also discuss your picks for games that were still great, but not quite GOTY quality. And finally, we close with your letters. Enjoy!
(upbeat music) (upbeat music) (upbeat music) (upbeat music) (upbeat music) (upbeat music) (upbeat music) (upbeat music) (upbeat music) (upbeat music) (upbeat music) (upbeat music) (upbeat music) (upbeat music) - Hello and welcome to Rebel Thome. Episode 88, "The Demon's Souls Sucks Edition." - I don't remember coming on this podcast. - My name is Anthony Gallegos. With me is Arthur Geese, who's currently defending-- - I'm gonna kill your cats. - Pussy warfare. - Yeah. - There's area fives, Ryan O'Donnell. - A.O. - And then there's IGN's news editor, click my stir, Jim Riley. - I apparently saved tonight's show. - It's true. - You did. Masha and Janae had to back out unfortunately last minute and we couldn't find anyone. And Arthur was like, fuck man, ask Jim, ask Jim. And so I asked Jim and Jim-- - You're just lucky I live a block away from me. - It's true, 'cause I was like, did Jim go home? Fuck. So. - Did he? - Yeah. - You would have up over him or something or? - I had our coworker hit him up over him nonetheless to get him. - Yeah, you're too scared I am, I think. - No, I didn't, never mind. I just didn't see online. - Do not have Jim's screen. - I do, anyway. - Should we read it off on the podcast? - Video games. Yeah, if you wanna send a message to Jim, it's called Demon's Soul Lover 98, because Jim's loved Demon's Souls even since he was-- - Even the 2009, 2010 and 2011. - So video games that we've been playing, I'll start off, Auditorium talked about with this, this originally a Flash game, but if you're looking for a cool PSN game and more importantly, if you're looking for something to play with their move, it is a really cool puzzler. It's basically, there's light coming through space and you use these various little spears to bend the light so that it touches specific boxes, these boxes in the level and the boxes have to fill with the light and as they fill with the light, it plays an instrument part of a song. And so around certain levels, there'll be like four boxes and to make the song play with its full instrumentation, you have to light up all four to go through. And so it's kind of like this little trial and error thing to try and get the light to bend in just the right way, which is like, I don't know, it's just kind of like, it's strangely delightful to play. - Delightful? - It is delightful. - It's soothing? - It's soothing and it's like, and you feel like such a sense of gratification when you do it and the PS3 one, if you are like, why would I play this if I played it on a flash game for free is the PS3 one has like way more complex puzzles and it has a lot more levels. - I have not played the PS3 one, but I played it obviously the flash one and then on iOS and yeah, I would say that's the great thing about it is that it's available in numerous different ways for a variety of prices. - It's out on PSP as well. - Yeah, you reviewed it today, didn't you? You posted it today, would you give it? - I gave it a score wise, I gave it 8.5. I liked it a lot. - Sounds reasonable. - I mean, I thought it was, it's $10 I think. So you play it for a long ass time, man. And I don't know, $15 is starting to be the norm for downloadable games. - I'm surprisingly interested in games like that, like Enigma, it's another iPhone and game similar thing. We're like incredible machine, like the games where you have a variety of objects to solve a puzzle. - Basically, yeah, I liked the whole trial and error thing. Just like there was a game on PSN a while ago called Elefunk, which was another one that I liked that was kind of a trial and error. Like, oh, I see how I failed. But in this one, it's a, on like Elefunk where it was like a trial and error like you failed, you start all over kind of thing or just, this one is like you're constantly adjusting 'cause the light's always flowing. So you're just kind of doing my new little changes in the light to see how it changes it. - Could kind of brilliant thing about it versus some of those other games is that it does a lot with a little. You know, like they're just light rays, like particle effect beams that all look the same except they're a different color and you know, all the icons for the tools, basically. - They're super basic, yeah. - Yeah, and the music doesn't really change all that much. It's probably what, like-- - There's like, in the PS3 one, there's like 12. - 12, okay, but so it's like-- - But each song only has like a four bar loop that just repeats and repeats. - But it doesn't get old when you're playing it because you're constantly worrying about, you know, bending the light the right way. And so, yeah, I guess that's what I said to begin with. It does a lot with a little. - That's what I love is that, you know, you play all these other games and so many games these days like beat you over the head with the tutorial and stuff like that. And this one, you don't ever need it 'cause every time they introduce a new tool for you to use, it's just introduced in such a way that you're like, it just dares you to like play with it. And then you're like, "Oh, I get this." Like it just works. - A jime moustet and you just go on with it and win the game. - What is a jime moustet? What is it? Like, what the fuck does it? - My engine spit it out. - I actually don't, I actually spent a long time since I took one Japanese class and failed, but I think it, oh God, I don't know, cut it out. - No, no, that's staying. - Oh, God. - Nothing sells like embarrassment. - Yeah, Anthony, you said the move controller. - I just remember that's the great one. - Yeah, and if you're gonna play it, you can play it totally without it with just a six axis. It works just fine. - But you can cheat. - But you can cheat with a move controller because you can move certain parts of the tools around way fast and they can gather the light and move it in ways that it should not be able to move with the six axis, but in some ways it's cheating and in some ways it kind of feels awesome. It's like a different way to play the levels because it almost feels like at times when you're doing it and you're swishing the light around in ways that normally win almost feels like you're conducting the music when you're using a move controller. So. - Have you? - So it's Wii music for adult. - Kind of except it's just like a really cool puzzler at the same time. Like the game is not like aesthetically pleasing. Like, I mean, it is actually, but I mean, it's not like, it doesn't have like, you're not gonna be like, "Ah, the graphics." But, you know, the way that it does things with like colors and sound, you're like, "Oh, this is still really pleasing to like play." - I didn't even know that was out on PS3 until you mentioned it, but. - I don't think a lot of people do. Like it came out of, you know. - Last week, the new Echo Chrome came out which uses move and like you will use it like a flashlight. - Yeah. - Meaning to try it, but it's $15 and I'm poor and I haven't broken down the body yet 'cause I've been buying lots of other dumb stuff. - So basically, you're like, "Why would I buy that for $15?" I'm like my $15 one dollar iPhone or iPad games. - Maybe, but no, I just haven't done it yet. I plan to purchase it, that's another game. I'm just wondering if you'd play it yet, but. - Nah, I've been thinking about it. Christmas break has also been the time frame for people to catch up and I know Jim has been playing some oblivion. - Oh yeah, I just put it down though, I think for good. - Really? - No. - What character did you make? Did you make a custom character? Did you use one of the presets? - I forget what it's called. I would just to do with a sword. Strength, strength, dude, it sounds like oblivion. - Yeah. - I don't think it's called a barbarians. - I made a custom character and he ended up being like as absolutely bad as it could be, like he was terrible at everything. - I thought your character was good at everything. - By the end of the game, I had so much damage reflection gear on that I could just let people hold my shield out and people would kill themselves hitting me, so, but at first he was terrible. - Every fantasy game I always go for like to do with the sword, I never go. - Well, so sure, so do I. - Well, a safe choice I think for that genre. - Yeah. - Why did you stop? - I like chopping stuff. 'Cause the game crashed all the time. - Really? - Yeah. - Well, not all the time, but it was just like annoying, like it crashed at the title screen, or really, you know, I go to load, or I'd, you know, sleep, it crashed during that. It was just, like, there's even a message in the game loading screen that's like, you need to be sure to save often. It's like, you should be saved often 'cause the game crashes a lot. It's a good way. - It doesn't say it crashes a lot. - No, I know, but it turns you to save often 'cause. - He's saying it should say that. - As a, as a, just like a hint or a reminder. - I mean, GI Joe may come into your fucking house and tell you that way you're playing, but they damn sure don't. - But he should have said save often 'cause the game crashes a lot, so. But it's, I like, I played it after I played Fallout 3 and completed that. - That could take the guilt off a little bit. - Yeah, it's not as good, but I liked it, it's just, I feel like the game just throws so many quests at you all the time just from talking to people. And I look at my quest list and I have like 30 quests that stuff to do and I feel just a bit overwhelmed. I really don't know where to go. I even know what is the main quest line at sometimes. - I just felt, I liked feeling like I had meaningful options on what to do next and to live in. - Yeah, I mean, I played in spurts, like I played it for like 10 hours, uninstalled it, came back to it, come once later, played it for a little bit. So I might, I might end up doing that, but. - Wait, you installed it? - Yeah, I installed my 360. - You know, I wonder if that has anything to do with its additional instability. - I know, I know why I installed the expansions, like the title screen it takes. - Well, you have to install the expansions. - Okay. - But I mean, Fallout 3 is actually one of the few games I can think of that performs a little worse when it's installed to the hard drive than it does reading off the disk. - In my time with Fallout 3, I don't recall a ton of times where it crashed, right? - Oh God, I've fucking had problems at the Wazoo. We've followed. - And the combat and the living, and we were talking about this, it doesn't really feel fun to chop stuff with the swords in that game. It's kind of, you're just mashing the-- - I do kind of go into spazz and spazz until I get low in health and then hold out my shield. And then I also played it heavy rain again, but I don't want to talk about that as much as that I played it with the move controls for a while. - Yeah, I've dabbled in that. - Yeah, and I have to say, like every other experience I've had with games that have move and normal controller support, like first party, like big games, like I play it and I'm like, yeah, this is interesting, but I would never play it this way. Like I don't, like I wanted to try it because Ryan Scott had told me like, oh man, I finally want to play heavy rain because the move controls are so cool. But to me, I was like, man, like a lot of these, like it has a really steep learning curve for people that are used to a controller. Like maybe if I'd never, like if I was like showing it to my mom and stuff, she would be like, oh, this is really interesting. Like Ryan doesn't play a lot of PS3 games. So maybe that makes sense to him. But to me, I was like, having already played it with the six axis, I'm like, oh, these are just awkward. Like it's that fact, the fact that it's a little difficult to do it that might make me continue playing it with move because you're too much of a badass with a controller? That's kind of, I mean, I wasn't going to say that, but in order to get in different, it's true. In order to get a different ending in the game, I need to basically fail quick timer events. And with a controller, like I just have to let my, like let buttons flash and let myself not press anything. Whereas with move, I could actually just miss them. - Yeah. - Yeah. - Or with a point in heavy Ryan's life cycle where people are just blowing off David Cage as far as his, what I recommend is you only play it once, like ever. - I know, well-- - Did he say that? - Yeah, he did, because he basically said-- - Your story is your story. - Your story is your story. I want you to only play it once. And then you can talk about your story with other people and just like compare. But he doesn't think people should play heavy rain more than once. - I've only played it once, but I like watching other people play it. - I got all the trophies and stuff. I get all the endings, which is-- - I mean, if that's what I wanted, he shouldn't have given the ability to load chapters. - I mean, I'm pretty sure that I'm never gonna play heavy rain at this point. - The thing that I also tried to never rain that really bugged me though is it really bothers me that they charged for the DLC for it. 'Cause the DLC, like I bought it, 'cause I was just curious 'cause I've never played at the taxidermist, it's your-- - I didn't buy it, I got it for free 'cause it was-- - It's $4.99, it's five bucks, and it's like 10 minutes long. Like it is so short, there's-- - It does have a lot of, it has, I think it has more density of options and things that can-- - Sure, but it seems like for something that was basically like, they cut out of the story because it would have been redundant, basically, like-- - I mean, I think the plan from the get-go was that it wasn't going to be in the game. - I think it was, but there was already a part where that character encounters like someone in a horrible situation similar to that. So it would have been like, oh, she's gonna do it twice in the game, that'd be stupid. - I think they'd develop the taxidermist part first. - You shut up. - Anyway. - But anyways. - I got that for free as-- - Regardless for five bucks. - How do you have it for free? - I'm trying to remember, it was a pre-order bonus or something like that. - I was gonna say, 'cause to me, it feels like it should have been one of those things, like I played it and I was like, oh, this is really cool. Like it is a really cool little story element, and you're right, it does have some really cool options. But I was like, man, this should have just been something they did to reward like players who got bought the game like new. Like, I haven't-- - Like a project $10, can I guess? - This is what I'm saying is that it sort of was that, but I don't remember the particulars of it. It may have been like just a pre-order bonus or something like that, but there was a way to get it for free. - And all it did too is it like, you know, it sucks because built into the menu, they have this thing for downloadable content, and that's the only piece they've released. - Well, I guess all of it is the move control of the controllers, Sony asked them to put move control support-- - Right, but it just seems like-- - I don't know. - I don't think it's so well enough to justify a bunch of extra development time. That game was in development for a real long time. - Yeah, I just want, man, I want more of the, like they slayed it, they call it like heavier in chronicles, like there's gonna be these other ones. - There, but there's not gonna be any DLC for any game. Unless, I mean, does anybody carry over into the main game? - Oh no, this is basically something that was like cut out. - I mean, they've said that the move patch will be the last thing that they do for heavy range, didn't they? - Yeah, I'm pretty sure they're moving on to whatever they're doing next. - Yeah, I definitely got the impression. - I mean, they're hiring for a new game. - I'm pretty sure that's what they've said, it's been a while. I looked at their hiring thing and they're hiring a bunch of new people for a new game. So. - I wonder if that'll be PS3 exclusive. - I don't know. I, you know, they've only made like three games and yeah, I think that's their only. - Right, but Sony was very integral in getting that game made and published. - Sure. - I was under the impression that all parties involved with it were very pleased with, you know, the results. - All the over a million copies? - Yeah. - So compared to what they were expecting. - I just don't get that mindset. We're expecting this game that we've spent five years and tens of millions of euros developing to sell shitty, essentially. - I think they, that's the thing with heavy rain is that it's just, you know, it's not the same as anything else. I mean, it's a very sort of different experience. - I mean, I'm talking about simple economics. I'm just, I don't understand that mindset. - Yeah, it's a, I mean, I think it's a good showpiece for the system. I mean, I've shown that game to specifically to non-gamer types. People who used to play games much younger and were like, "Hey, show me what games can do now." And it definitely is something that blows minds. It's kind of, I think as hardcore gamers, it's easy to forget that it's really, really, really impressive. - The only way that game blows my mind isn't how poorly acted and written it is. - I played in French, though, I don't know. - That was the other thing is that I wanted to, I thought maybe the move controls would have like better movement 'cause, you know, all the movements just mapped to the stick now instead of having to hold R2. So like, you know, hit the gas in your character. And yeah, that's what it feels like, right? But yeah, it's still awkward as fuck. - The tank controls. - Yeah, it's still very tank-like. Even with the move, it doesn't matter. But I'll say that, I've just been playing a whole lot of WoW. - You traded in your little car for a real mount. - Yeah, cataclysm. Yeah, yeah, you know, I still love that game. I still think it's fun, but man, I have this slight old man tendency in me when I find out something else. Like, what, they changed that? Now you get, you do this now, like they've made that game. Anything you ever wanted in WoW, you're like, maybe if you played like two years ago and you're like, "Man, I'm gonna quit for this reason." They fixed it. - That's what I really want. 'Cause it's taking you on a tour of the chocolate factory or something. - Yeah, it basically is. If you wanna be paradise, they fixed whatever you wanted. If you were the type of person that was like, "Man, I used to have to do all these mods "to get things I want in WoW." No, they've added 'em. Like, those are just like a master of like, "Oh, people seem to be doing all these third party things. "We'll just put it in our game." Like, they make everyone else obsolete as much as they can. And they are masters at it. - I think I out casual do on my Christmas break. - Yeah, well, you played Connect games, right? - Well, that isn't what I'm talking about, but I did play some Connect. I played a shitload of Bejeweled 3. - Nice. - Well, I've been playing Bejeweled as well. Ever since Jeff came on the podcast because I realized I've never played a Bejeweled game. - Really? - Outside, outside, kind of puzzle quest. What's the closest I've ever come to? - Which Bejeweled game did you play? - Well, I bought, it was only 9/7 on iPhone, so I got Bejeweled 2 Blitz. - So, here's the thing about Bejeweled 3 that gets me is that there's this faux epic seriousness to it everywhere. - Yes, well, like when it's like, - Totally ridiculous. - Level 2, Bejeweled 3. - And then like all the backgrounds are like these epic fantasy backgrounds. - Yes, even on the one I have, it's like a desert with lightning crashing in the back and you're like, what? - A black hole in the middle of a fantastic-- - It's like you're on an epic fantasy adventure and it's like, what the fuck is going on here? - Yep. - I have Bejeweled 3 installed, but I haven't started playing it yet 'cause I kind of want to wait 'til it comes out for the Iowa stuff. - The quest mode is what I'd spend a lot of time on, which is basically just like, oh, on this one, you've got to get, you've got to clear 15 blue gems and 15 red gems, but if you clear too many blue gems, these scales will tip all the way down and kill you. So you have to make sure to get them in about the same amounts on both sides, otherwise you'll fail. And then as each tier goes on, it ramps that up and ramps it up and like another one is, well, you've got to destroy these panels, but you can only destroy them with special gems. - Man, I should really get that game. You just made me think I should really get one of those games for my parents 'cause my parents are always looking for video games to play in. - That sounds like sort of like the Clash of Heroes puzzles, or-- - It could be, I mean, basically I have a press count and Bejeweled will run on anything, and I have my work laptop. So I was just like, boom, loading. - Nice. - Yeah, I don't know. I definitely think like games like Bejeweled, man. They're just so special. - I mean, I'm sort of past the whole kind of casual, Bejeweled kind of stuff. - I do, Bejeweled is just so fucking charming because it's so goofy. - Yeah, I'm not saying it's like battery and I just, I can't get into them anymore. - It's just goofy in a different way than the other pop cap stuff is. - It's a game where, you know, my girlfriend has one of those footphones from back in the day, like she's, that's still her phone, and she plays that a lot and she definitely is in the game. - Good Java version of Bejeweled? - Yeah, exactly. And, you know, if you asked her if she plays video games, she would say, "Hell no." Like she really doesn't think of herself as anyone who plays games. - Well, what should she surrounded by? - I know. And then I can get just, you know, I got just as sucked into Bejeweled when I played it the last time I got into it, and that's the magic of Bejeweled. - So yeah, I also played some connect over Christmas break. Not a lot. I mostly let other people play. There's just interesting watching normal people quote unquote, play connect and get into it. Connect sports is still really fun. - I haven't, I hadn't seen, seen touched or played any connect until, I don't know, halfway through December. You finally got to connect in all the games. And, you know, just the only, okay, so let me rephrase that. The first, the only time I saw connect was at the Cirque du Soleil. - Oh, good. - Connect when we all became-- - You didn't actually see it at E3 though? - I walked by someone playing Dance Central, but I didn't get a chance to play it myself. - 'Cause there was always a fucking ridiculous line of like-- - Oh yeah, and you could have seen behind the glass playing. - Exactly. So I hadn't, I basically was expecting to not like it and expecting that Dance Central would be cool but that I wouldn't really give into that. So, you know, there wasn't gonna be any software that I cared about. - Long story short, you're about to give it a blow it up. - Basically. Like I, this, we played even the connect racing. What is it? - Joyride. - Joyride. And Jay and I were playing it. We're like, this is kinda, it's kinda fun. And like, you know, that was after like three or four days of having it and leaving the games that we thought were the bad games still in the shrink wrap. Like, they were just sitting on the shelf and finally we were like, hey, should we bust open a new one? And we were having fun with that too. I'm still like, I'm still blown away by how-- - You're very fortunate to have to live in the house that you do because I would totally play some connect games. There's no way I can in my room. - Oh man. That thing, it requires, I made a space for it. Like push our couch back far. - Sure. - I swear, I mean, they say what, eight feet is what-- - Six feet? - I mean, it depends. - I swear I gave it 15 feet, like a lot. - That's too much. - I know, I know. - If you're too far away, I can't see you. - No, no, no, but it was, it was where it was-- - Which I actually dealt with where I was playing it because we were playing it in a family room, which is basically a basement with a projector. Like, so there was about 10 feet between where the projector was in the couch and we had to move the connect forward to actually get two people. And it's still like certain games just with two players were super janky. Like connect adventures was super janky. - I mean, the winner for me clear, like far above any of the other stuff was the connect table tennis, or the table tennis in sports is like, so insanely awesome, you just can't believe it. - Have you played paddle panic? - Paddle panic, which one's that? - There are mini games. - Oh, the mini games. No, I haven't done much of the mini games. - So paddle panic is you with a paddle in each hand and them hitting balls at you faster and faster and faster. - Oh, that sounds lovely. - See, the things like that always sound really cool to me, but it doesn't sound enough to spend the money to get it. Like, the only reason for instance, I have a move as someone who just talked about, I have a move is that I got one for cheap from a Sony employee. Like, I just, like, I don't know. I want to play these games, but-- - Do you expect to be playing that game a month from now? - I think I could put it in whenever. - Like when friends come over or something? - 100%, my girlfriend who I said would classify herself far and away as not a gamer. I tried to get her into playing the table tennis one 'cause I was like, oh, this is a no brainer. It's like fun, it's easy to get into. And she played, like, you know, four points or something like that and was not interested. And then a couple of nights later, I had, there were like three or four of us over at the house and we started playing the connect bowling. And I never got into the Wii bowling at all. - That was like the only Wii game. - Yeah, most people, that was the only one. But for some reason, and when I started playing the connect one, I didn't think I was gonna like it that much because I kept rolling strikes. Like my first four shots were strikes or spares. - And you're like, oh, this is dumb. - I know this is dumb. Like, you know, if I can't miss what's the fun of it. And then I started to like try harder or something. And the rest of the game was awful. And at the end of the game, the score was about the same score that I would have gotten if I had actually gone bowling. And I played a few more games and that turned out to mostly be true. And then we had like three or four people over playing it at one point. And the fact that we were like walking out, like our setup, there's a computer right behind our couch. - So what you're saying is it actually felt like real bowling? - It was straight up real bowling. I was like walking around and sitting at my computer, which is where the like score display would have been if I was at an actual bowling alley and then getting up and walking back onto the lane. And yeah, I think that's the one my girlfriend got into. She like really, really likes the bowling. - Walking in that game is surprisingly immersive as far as sucking you into the experience. - A hundred percent, yeah. The only time is if there's a, you know, a little jankiness at the ball release sometimes, but it's rare, you know. - I mean, it's not perfect. Like there are problems with that. Like running in place sucks. Like I'm, god damn, they need to just come up with something like some better way to run in place, I don't know. Like maybe that's an invention whose time is not yet come. But yeah, like the volleyball is super fun and people can jump. Table tennis is a lot of fun. - There's something magical about seeing your avatar do your moves, like talking trash to an AI controlled character that doesn't actually exist by like, you know, gesturing and mimicking at them and like doing funny dances. Like, I guess I'm just, I'm surprised that it works as well as it does on like at release. You know, like the first software that comes out for it totally shows, if that's like what comes out when it launches, what is it gonna be like? And you know, what's the next generation of that hardware gonna be like, what are we gonna be doing 10 years from now? Like it, I don't know, it seemed like such a giant step into a awesome direction that the Wii controllers and the Move controllers aren't really doing. Not that I'm taking it, like those, I think are great for totally other, you know, different experiences. But the fact that no controller play works as well as it does right now is, I don't know, I was not expecting to like it as much as I did. And I played, I even tried to connect them, you know, I played all of the games and I was-- - I mean, Connectimals is very clearly not for us. - Oh yeah, I will not go back and play that, but if I was a kid, I think I'd be super into it. - Yeah, it's a babysitter, essentially. - Yeah, Connectimals is very cool. - Say I played some Connect, restarted Mass Effect 2 because I hadn't played any of the DLC. - How did you do it all? - The only DLC I haven't done is the layer of the Shadow Broker. - Well, I still need to play as well. - Yeah, this is what I hear. I did Zayed and I did Kasumi and I did, I just finished Project Overlord yesterday. - Overlord? - Yeah. And I actually, Overlord I felt was kind of ragged in the middle that came together toward the end. Like there's some really cool stuff they do with like the AI and the sort of digital interface overlaying the standard game environment that I thought was really cool. I'm still, like I said, I still need to do layer of the Shadow Broker. I was actually-- - For the, like a few of the environments that are in there are just so really, I mean, and there's, it's the most full featured of the DLCs by a long shot aside from the fact that, you know, the vehicle is in the other-- - I was always intrigued by the Shadow Broker story line, kind of, they-- - I mean, they're-- - Just in and out during the-- - The comic covers the Shadow Broker stuff, I think. Yeah, I'm really, I'm still really led Mass Effect 2. - Yeah, that gives me one more DLC pack at some point. - Yeah, they're, they announced that they're effectively ending the Cerberus news updates, which is too bad because as I was playing over the last couple of weeks, I noticed that they've been updating with new news every day, including a little subplot about the Times Square, New Year's Ball being transferred to the Citadel for Earth New Year's, and someone stealing it by shrinking it. - The Ball? - Yeah. - Nice. - So yeah, I thought that was really cool and I was surprised they were still doing it and then I read they were stopping it and I was a little sad. - So I was in the next DLC, gonna drop closer to like the Mass Effect-- - Yeah, they're gonna use it to bridge Mass Effect 2 and Mass Effect 3, which is pretty exciting if they actually pull off. - They're saying that or? - Yeah, they've said it in the past, I think. - Other than? - Which is-- - It's such a great idea. - It's really cool if it works. And they've done pretty well with DLC on Mass Effect. It's the second coolest DLC that I've played this year, the first being Minerva's Den. - Which I just played through. - Which is great. - The only other thing I played was Dead Space 2, but we can't talk about that yet. - You shouldn't even mention it, little cockties. - I mean, I cockties did on Twitter already, they can live with it. - I, so it's funny, the last two things you've mentioned are the two things that I haven't been playing Dead Space 2, but I did play through Dead Space 1 again. And it was-- - Still awesome. - I love that game. - What was the worst part in that game in your opinion? - I really don't like going back, so it's like chapter five or something is, okay, well, the worst part of the game is the Asteroid-- - Asteroid, okay. - All the same vision. - Yeah, of course, then they've-- - The Medical Deck Decon section sucks. - Which, I just don't like the Medical Deck the second time you go through. I feel like that character-- - You go into the room and it basically makes you go through decontamination and it shuts all the doors, and then all the necromores pour in and you have to kill them and then the doors open again. - Do you have a cool time in the game? - Yeah, Dead Space relies a little too heavily on the kill everything before the doors open mechanic. - Especially 'cause it hardly ever makes any sense, like occasionally it's like, yeah, at first you're like, okay, I guess, but then it just seems so dumb when it's just like, contaminated blah, blah, blah, blah. - Well, the quarantine thing, I guess, makes sense, but it just gets boring. - Yeah, but why does the quarantine lift when you kill them? Aren't they still, like, if it was like detecting, like, fucking some sort of plague or something, they're still right there? - It's a video game. - It's like, that's bodies, exactly, and that's the thing is like, it just feels such a trope, you know, it's like-- - I guess that's true, but I mean, you know, most shooter games do lock you in our little arena where you have to kill off a bunch of enemies before you can move forward. - There are definitely points in Dead Space that it feels like Viserro was finding their sea legs. - I mean, I'm saying this as someone who loved it. - Oh yeah, yeah. - I love the shit I like game. - Dead Space is my favorite game of the year, that year that it came out. - What you're saying is something, there are some really good shit that came out the year. - I really, really like it. And to go back and, sorry, re-answer your question, aside from the asteroid defense system, which is clearly just super poor, I mean, the fact that you move the reticle with the right stick instead of the left stick is insane. It's completely crazy. And so I asked, I was playing with Fresh, who's the, Jay Fresh, Jay Frishet, who's the community manager for Viserro now, who knows all things Dead Space. He was watching me play that part. And he says he actually moves both sticks, just to like trick his brain into thinking that he's controlling the reticle with the right, you know, the right stick, or the left stick, the stick that, you know, he's using his-- - The right, the appropriate-- - The appropriate-- - There are just certain things that these games do sometimes that I just don't understand, like, just like in Dead Space, like, why are there items that you pick up in those games just for selling, like-- - No. - Yeah? - Yeah, there are other-- - Like the Ruby boards and stuff like that. - Oh, you're right, yeah. - So you pick those up and they take a slot just for selling. When you walk to a store, why do I have to manually tell it to sell them? Like, under what circumstance would I not want to sell them? - Yeah, that's stupid, not a trip. - It should automatically sell. - Or they should just be credits. - Yeah. - Why are they taking up Space My Inventory? - Yeah. - To make inventory management, you know, a part of the game. - I'm already shitting my pants over inventory in Dead Space. - So that is the one thing. I played this game like three times in various systems. This was actually my first time through the retail version on PS3 and I had a bunch of DLC because I'm unlike you, I actually do purchase some DLC occasionally. And so I had a bunch of very strong weapons and I had actually purchased an armor as well. - I feel dirty using that shit. There is an annoying thing where if you do load up a DLC armor, you can't go back, you can't take it off. And that's really annoying. - Can I ask you a question? Did you play through Dead Space Ignition? - I did. - Just to get the armor for Dead Space 2? - You don't have to play through all of it. And I'm playing through it now 'cause I'm really just, I know, like I've heard how bad it is and you know, I'm really excited about Dead Space 2 and so I just wanted to see what it was. - It's like you murder some of your excitement. - Yeah, and it's really, yeah. I mean, you know, if you've read anything about it on the internet or played it, that it's not that great. And I'm not done with it yet, so. I think that there's like three or four mini games, one of them which is called Hardware Crack. It's one where you shoot lasers at things and you set up mirrors to redirect the lasers to get into the goal. It's like, I don't know, it's one of the games. The second one was really hard. Like really hard and like I ended up, after I couldn't figure out what to do, I was like, hey, fresh, can you figure this out? And he couldn't figure it out either. And I had him look up the answer for it. And they do this like dick move where they set up all these reflectors in the stage that you're not even supposed to use anyway. It's not good, but I'll probably continue to play it. Dead Space 1 on the other hand, totally great. Totally great. And if the. - And Dead Space Extraction, I got to throw it out there. - Also great. I'm really looking, I'm buying the PS3 version in order to play that on my, with my move later, I will be doing that again. - One of the few games that I always hear people talk about, like how awesome it is, but no one's played it. Is that, is that? - Rightly? - Extraction. Yeah, I know it didn't sell very well, but I know it. - It's so terrible. - I reviewed it on Wii, I went to review it on Wii, back on it's still games, but I remember thinking, fuck, I gotta sign this, it's gonna suck. When I played it, I was like, holy shit, that was awesome. - Well, 'cause they said all this kind of good stuff, but it was the same bullshit we'd heard a lot of people saying about Wii. - And they always showed it before it came out in really terrible places, where you couldn't hear anything. - Right, like weird verbal slices, it packs. - And so you couldn't hear any, like that game? - I don't know what shit parties you're going to. - That game, well, like any EA thing is always like really loud, and that game requires like headphones, really good sound, like it's really creepy to play. - It's also more fun to play with a co-op partner. - See, I disagree on that one. I actually like to play it by myself more. - I think it's fun to play with a co-op partner, but you need to play through it first by yourself. - Yeah, I think it's fun. - Because there's so much story stuff that's ruined by your co-op partner firing white balls at someone's face. - I did do a lot of that myself, but I would have done that. I would have been the one responsible for that. And the person I was playing with was Jay Fresh, who wasn't at the time, but is now, like I said, the community manager for these guys. So he cares about the world and the stories just as much as I do. - I just don't think it's like extractions, like just such a good chunk of dead space. Like you're really going to hear something and like get you pumped for it. It's like such a good story. - And you would think-- - It's really well-acted. - You would think an on-rails game, like what story, like you're like used to bullshit, like time crisis and stuff, but this is like a really cool story. - I just loved walking around the first person. - Killing myself over the weekend and last week, looking at a dolphin screenshots of dead space extraction. Dolphin is the Wii and GameCube emulator for PC, where you can basically run Wii and GameCube games at 1080p. - Like 1080p. - And it looks awesome. - Super up-sampled textures in like way higher resolution and nanny aliasing and all that shit. And it's just like that game looks so good in 1080p. - Yeah, I want the PS3 ones to look. - Are we even seeing the PS3 ones? - I have never seen them. - And I'm concerned, honestly. - You think so? - Yeah. - My guess is that, and I honestly don't know anything, but my guess is that it won't look that much better, but the game already looks so good. - Right, even on Wii, like upscaled through my receiver, it looked phenomenal. - That company, I'm failing to think of their name in space, Eurocom, Eurocom. They do great Wii games. They're also the ones that did the recent GoldenEye. So they just understand how to make the games look all right on Wii, but more importantly, they understand how to do like a first person like experience. Like whenever like, you know, in dead space, when you go up a ladder, you're not sliding, you can always see the guys' hands and it has the camera waggle and stuff like that. - I think extraction is actually the best looking game on Wii, if I had to throw it out there. - That's a hard one. - I should go find it. Anyone can find it for like 10 bucks. - Kirby is beautiful. Sonic Colors is actually a fucking-- - I could say Dead Space Extraction is the best looking realistic looking game on Wii. Like the game that's like trying to do it realistic. Whereas like, you know, Kirby is like being like-- - Metroid, I think it looks great. Metroid three. Metroid Prime three. - I wish I had some sarcastic answers to throw out there when I don't. - Extraction is a true game. - Do you even on a Wii gym? - I do not. - Yeah. - The other, so back to the extraction, like whether or not it's gonna be better looking on PS3 question. What I'm really hoping is that they, you know, they did a pass on the sound. Not that the sound was bad. It was great. - But they can make it uncompressed. - Yeah, you know, if we can hear the sound, even higher quality, that would be great. And I don't have to use my Wii. That's the best thing about it, is that I'll have a PS3 version, I'm much more likely-- - You do have to use move. - That's true. - I think it's gonna be on 360 at some point. - I'm not sure how honestly. - That's the thing is yeah, 'cause I don't know how. - There's no good motion control, sure, but there's no good triggering mechanism for connect as far as I'm concerned. - You can play extraction on PS3 with a dual shock. - Can you? So what it's like-- - I got a virtual comp on-- - It'd be awful though. - Yeah, it wouldn't recommend it. I'm just saying, as far as I know, that's a possibility. - I just don't, I don't see it working very effectively on connect. Which, I mean, makes me sad, 'cause, you know, they'd be cool, but-- - Yeah, I can't imagine it on connect at all. Unless it detects you going pew, pew. - That's the thing, well, that's the thing about it too, is that you might just think of Dead Space Extraction as like this game where it's just shooting, but it has everything, it has Kinesis, it has the, you know, the-- - Stasis. - Stasis, yeah, you have to use all those, which is why on the Wii it uses like every button on the controller and the Nunchuck. - Even when the fact that, you know, you know, it is on rails, 100%. Like, the combat feels mostly like what Dead Space combat should feel like. Like, you stop just like you would in Dead Space when you're shooting a lot of times, yeah. - Not that you have to stop and shoot, you can move and shoot in Dead Space, but-- - Right. - Yeah, Dead Space. I'm super stoked about Dead Space, too. I thought I played the demo like nine times. - Yeah, so the Dead Space 2 demo came out, which we can talk about. - Is that on Xbox and PS3? - Yeah, they didn't release a PC version, but-- - There will be a PC version of the game that comes out the, I believe, day in date with the Xbox and PS3 versions. - PC demos are just a good, or a very common vector for cracks. - Yeah. - 'Cause they reverse engineer the EXE. - But the demo introduces a lot of the little usability improvements in the game. Are the different objective markers in the demo? - I don't know if they are, I don't know if I've ever used, I don't know if I've ever actually hit the button. So, I don't know. - So, I think I can-- - It's been shown in screen, it's been shown, it's been shown. - Okay, so basically, like holding down the, clicking in the stick and putting up the objective line-- - The logo here is what it's called. - You hit the D-pad up and down to cycle through a marker that directs you to the nearest store, a marker that directs you to the nearest bench, and a marker that directs you to the nearest save point. - That's pretty good. I thought the map in the first Dead Space wasn't really useful. - The map in the first Dead Space, I never even turned it on. - It was too confusing to like, you know, rotate it all? - I never turned it on, because you just had-- - Well, I'm not gonna, you know, it was terrible, but you never needed it, because you just had the little line you could beam to see. - Yeah, I used it for stores though. - Like one of the cool things about that, like a little tribute to a bit about that is that, in the first Dead Space, the objective, the waypoint marker was AI-pathing data that was repurposed into an objective marker. So like those lines that you would see are just like, "Oh, well, these are the directions that AI will walk toward you or like their paths for attack." And they just figured out a way to repurpose that, to help people move around. But yeah, the demo is, and like stomping, when you stomp, you stomp forward instead of just stomping in place, and melee attacks are obviously more useful. - And you can stomp enemies to do an additional loot on them afterwards, so that you can get extra loot. - No. - Yeah, you don't get extra loot. - You don't get extra loot. - Well, I think you just mean that you kill an enemy and it falls dead, and if you shoot them one time after that, or stomp on them, loot comes out. - Right. - It will drop. - Oh yeah, no, they can't-- - There's no extra loot. - Hey, sir. - It's just an extra-- - Positive. - It's just a piece of loot, whenever you dismember them after they're already dead. Which you can also do by using 2K to pull a piece off of them, then firing it back into them. But yeah, and I mean, it gives you a taste of the different weapons, and the different weapons are useful now. - He says the F word too when he stomps. - Yes, he does. - Motherfucker. - That was very-- - That was very-- - He's very angry, he talks a lot now. I don't know, I still don't know how I feel about that. It was kind of weird in the first game, he was so silent the whole time, but I don't know. - I can't say anything about that. (laughing) The demo, I can't say that the demo has a bunch of story stuff removed from it. There's some major story stuff that happens around that point. So you don't know what's happening at that part in the demo at all. - I would hope not. - There are things about the demo that I think are funky, like the fact that it starts you in this sort of cryogenic rooms that repeat. - Yeah, it's like a little strange as far as a choice goes. Like you go and you're in a cryo room that's got a path down the left and a path down the right, you choose which way you want to go. And then you get to the end and there's a door and you go through the door and you come out and you're in what looks to be the same room. And then you go through that room and it gets four rooms in a row that looks identical. - I mean, I understand why it's in the demo because that's a kind of environment you never saw in Dead Space. - That's true, I just think it's weird that they, I mean, just for the, that is the beginning of the demo and I think it might be easy for people to get turned around in there on accident. And it's like, it seems like filler content in a way if you're showing the same room. - Yeah, I thought the whole demo was just gonna be the ice rooms for these-- - It's actually a pretty meaty demo. - It certainly is. And I guess that's what I was gonna lead into is that four demo that starts that way. I actually think it's a pretty meaty and fun demo. I played it, like I said, a bunch of times. The only thing that I wish I could play it on higher difficulty after playing it, the first time maybe on normal and locking higher difficulties would have been nice just to see how crazy the AI can get. - You know another game that I checked out, I don't know why you reminded me of that somehow, but I also checked out the Back to the Future game. So I got a copy of that. - It's actually really cool. It takes place after all the movies. - Nice. - And-- - Oh, also what I do over a thing. Christmas was I watched all three movies in a row. - Oh, because there was a marathon? - No, no. - I watched part of them on the marathon, but yes. Yeah, you know, and it takes place after the three movies and they got the guy that does the voice most importantly of Doc Brown. 'Cause you know, there are a lot of people that can come in and do a pretty good Michael J. Fox impression. - Really? I mean, I've heard the opposite, that people are really shocked with how good the Michael J. Fox impersonator is. - Oh, that's what I mean. He is good. As I'm saying is that the impersonator of Michael J. Fox, it seems like it's a lot easier for the Doc Brown voice. It's so specific. - Party! - Yes, they really nailed him, but the game is, it's typical telltale, man. - That's really good. You know, those guys are just really good at doing the episodic-- - So it's an adventure game? - It is very much a point and click adventure game with all the same characters, you know? - I might get around to the point. I don't think I've ever played a telltale adventure game all the way through. - Yeah, I mean, if you don't like their other things, you're not gonna like this. It's straight up Sam and Max or, you know, their other ones to the tee, like, to the dialogue type of trees, and-- - I love that they're doing it, I do. 'Cause they're almost single-handedly preserving a genre. - Sure. - But. - And they're the only people that can do episodic. - Yeah, it's like, yep. - So. - I kind of want to just wait 'til they're all out. - That's the thing, yeah, you can buy them all now and just wait. - Then start to wait for it again. - You only have to wait a month though. It does come out once a month. They are really good about that. - The other thing is the, you know, if the older telltale games are any indication it'll be on like every platform. - I think this one's actually a PC-PS3 only. - Oh, really? - For now, I mean, there's no word on whether or not it'll make it to 360. I don't know if it'll hit Wii either. - Yeah, they just, you know, Sam and Max like never made it to 360, I don't think, you know? - Oh, really? - Yeah, it's just. - But they're on Wii and they're on. - And they're on PS3. - Are they on Wii? Sam and Max is on Wii? - Yeah. - I thought Sam and Max is on 360. - Strong bad is on Wii, so. - Yeah, Sam and Max is on Wii as well. - There you go. - But maybe the first season, I don't know about the second one, but um. - 'Cause didn't they change it up in the second season and make it so you moved Max around? - Yeah, that could be. I don't know, I only ever played on PC. Yeah, back to future, totally out exists. You know, isn't that cool? Like, I just love the fact that that got announced and then like three weeks later was out. - Now I can't wait to see fucking Jurassic Park. - What? - You didn't know this? - No. - Telltale has the right to do Jurassic Park game, which they are definitely doing. - Yeah, their initial announcement was they're doing a back to future in Jurassic Park game. - That is awesome. - Yeah, I, yeah. - As long as it has the music. - Oh God, it'll have the music. - Yeah, of course. - I mean, back to the future, the Telltale one starts out with you recreating the beginning of the first movie and you can play it, you can do all the audio, like dialogue cues and do it exactly like the movie or you can fuck it up and do it differently. - Wow. - So, and it has the total, it has the music. I mean, the back to the future music is just a little bit. - It has to, yeah, it's so iconic. - Yeah, and I, same time with Jurassic Park. They got out of the Jurassic Park. That makes me really excited. I don't know. Wow. - Do you wanna talk about Minerva's generally quick? - I can talk about that. I can talk about Metroid, other Amn as well. - No one gives a shit about Metroid. - All I'll say is that there's a, that I decided to finally play it and it's the worst Metroid game. But it's-- - Damn. - But it's a reasonably good team ninja game. Which I guess what I mean is that if, if it wasn't Metroid, if all I was thinking about is the controls, the way that the dodge system works. That, some of the puzzles, like those things are good. But it's because it's got the Metroid name attached to it that puts it on this pretty, you know. - So it's like up there with the Sigma games, I guess? - It's, okay, the one I was thinking of comparing it to is the DS ninja guiding game. - Oh, Dragon Sword? - Dragon Sword, which is great. - I really don't play that. - Oh, it's good. - I own that game and I haven't played it. - Oh, you should play it. - I own every ninja guiding except for Sigma 2. - I don't have Sigma 2 either. - 'Cause Ninja Gaiden 2 was enough. - After Ninja Gaiden 2, I decided that-- - So you think it's more like Dragon Sword? - It reminded me of that. You know how it's an entirely different combat system. - You're like, I recognize that this is a team ninja game, but this is not like Ninja Gaiden. - Yeah, it feels more like, it's not that it's not a Metroid game, it's that it's a bad Metroid. You know, comparatively speaking, it's a bad Metroid game. It's very linear. The graphics are not good. They ruin the character. She's like, at least in the first, I haven't finished it on probably-- - She's a whiny bitch. - Yeah, I mean, she's supposed to be the fucking strongest, craziest bounty hunter in the galaxy and she's, you know, worried about impressing all of her, you know, her, the other Marines. - Her coworkers. - Yeah, her coworkers, basically. And this thing, you're all working together. And the, you know, a lot of people complain about games and Metroid in you, you know, when you start the game with everything and then they take all your stuff away from you. - God of War, becoming the most obvious culprit over the last several years. - Yeah, so in this game, the way it works is that you're, there's this, you know, military captain or whatever that's there who's above you on the game. - Oh yes, he's granting you powers. - Exactly. - The permission to use powers. - You use, it's like, oh, use your, whatever beam now. So you, like, one of the final parts I played before I decided I'm done with this, for now at least, was a sort of lava stage. I had to run a lot of running towards the stage and running away from the stage and that sort of thing. But you, you know, you run towards this volcano in classic Metroid fashion. Your health starts to take down a little bit and you make your way up until this crazy fire boss and you're fighting it for a minute. And then after you've been running around in the fiery rooms for, I would say good five, 10 minutes, your guy calls on the comments as like, Samus, you should turn on your various suit. I'm authorizing the use of it now so that you can, you know, avoid the heat. I'm like, dude, where the fuck were you 10 minutes ago? - Not to mention you're fucking bounty hunters. Wouldn't she just be like, fuck you. - I'm gonna do whatever the hell I want. Yeah, so the whole narrative structure of it and the way that they, the authorization thing is total bullshit. And afterwards I put in Metroid Prime one and three from the trilogy and played around with those for a bit and just cleansed the palette and... - Where's your palette cleansed? - It's so much. Those games are... - Would you say they're as good as Citizen Kane? - You know, when you compare them to Metroid, other than they sort of do look like Citizen Kane. No, but, you know, I think they're really good. I think, or a retro is a very, very good developer and the fact that they did what they did with that series. - I really wanna play the Metroid trilogy games too. - Yeah, I own it on Wii and I've never even taken out a shrink wrap. - Oh, you really should. They are so good. - You shouldn't and you should sell that shit on fucking eBay. - They don't make it any more. - The fact that Metroid Prime one and two, you know, the fact they get the Wii controls is good 'cause they're better than the game controls that were already pretty good. But just having them on the widescreen is really, really, really nice. - I wish they'd just add fucking dual analog controls to that shit and be done with it. - I don't think it needs it. - Fight. - Oh, is that it? - Oh, there's plenty of that later. - I'm a nervous den. - Oh yeah, I'm a nervous den. - Nervous den. Yeah, so I haven't played, I haven't finished Bioshock 2. I think I played to the first little sister, first second little sister battle on PC and then-- - Yeah, I really need to. - And then dropped it. And when I heard about my nervous den, I really wanted to play it, but I just was playing on PC and I wanted an Xbox version to play on. So I was at GameStop the other day and realized that they were selling it for like 1799 used or something like that. And I was like, fuck, I'll just get that and play some Minerva's den. And J Fresh had the same idea. So we sat down, bought it and played through it. - There's not a lot you can say about it without spoiling. - I will say it is. - Is it a single player? It's a single little-- - It's a campaign. - Campaign. - Campaign. - It's a totally separate campaign. - I am never going to. - The set up is that you are going, it's about the central computing area of Rapture. You're investigating the, I don't wanna say much about it, but basically you're going into an area of Rapture that you've never been into before. And the story is good and it comes to a really good conclusion. I think they did a really great job with that. But what's interesting about the game is not the story stuff to me. It's a very long experience, number one. Like I think we played for probably, I mean, we weren't keeping track or anything, but it's probably like seven hours. - Like four or six hours. - I was gonna say like six, we go slow and we got stuck at one point looking for one objective and you know how that can be. It's like a Metroid style or Zelda style game where you have like a hub area and a bunch of doors, some are locked, some aren't, and you need to go and gather up items and abilities to be able to make your way further into the areas. Which is essentially how Bioshock is too, but it's condensed, the fattest cut out. You're constantly getting new weapons. Like every 10 minutes, you come upon a new item mobility or weapon that you didn't have. So you feel like you're getting so much stuff in the game. It's really rewarding. And they give you stuff in weird reverse order. So there was a lot of times where I would get and what are the-- - Plasmid. - Plasmid. I would get a plasmid that I never used in Bioshock one or when I played Bioshock two. - You have to use it. - Because it's all you've got. - Yeah, they, I know when I talked to one of the guys that's made some of the other DLC like, you know, they made like multiplayer DLC. They did a lot of that intentionally because they kind of got tired of the fact that they realized so few plasmids got used. That they've been searching for ways for a long time including the challenges they released and this DLC to force players to think differently. - Yeah, it was a brilliant move. Like I was, I mean, the first one I give you, I think is like security, one of the security plasmids. - I think TK. - Oh, TK first. Yep, and then security. And those, just having those two and like one weapon that will get the job done but is not. - So the eye-on lands that you start out with, I think? - Which is a new weapon. - You get a laser beam at the beginning of the game and you have that and you have a telekinesis and the security plasmid and all the encounters are set up beautifully so that those, that you can win with what you've got on you and it really makes you use this stuff that I didn't use when I was playing through the game the first time and but then when you do get the tried and true stuff, when you get drill charge and all the, they're really, really powerful stuff that you would remember from Bioshock one and Bioshock two, it's still just as good and it's that, the thing that I really love about it, aside from the story and the level design, which is really good, very Zelda-ish, very Metroid-ish is the speed. The fact that you're just constantly getting new stuff, it feels like so much faster and the game feels almost as long as, it doesn't make any sense. It's like how am I getting stuff so fast, so compact in this game when the game feels like it's almost as long as-- - And Bioshock really fucking drags in the last third. Like we're Bioshock two, well Bioshock one actually drags in the last third two. I feel arguably the story in Bioshock in Minerva's Den is more emotionally resonant than the story in Bioshock. - Yeah, that's a good argument. - It's like 10 bucks? - Yeah, 10 bucks. - I have two purchases whenever I get to run a plane. - It's worth playing, even if you never played Bioshock two. - Yeah, I still have it, I haven't cracked it open. - Like I said, I bought it and I haven't gotten back into Bioshock two yet, but-- - They are working on it for PC. Originally they weren't going to, but now they are. - That's cool. - Definitely worth playing, 100% would recommend it. - So take a break. - And then we're coming back with topics. - Go, Bi. ♪ There was a mortal club for days ♪ ♪ We couldn't make it to the fore ♪ ♪ Couldn't be a watchin' my imaginary girlfriend ♪ ♪ Bust a move with any other drugs ♪ ♪ Tone up was talkin' 'bout a while then ♪ ♪ I was still caught up with some child things ♪ ♪ Scared up with God who couldn't spare ♪ ♪ A rider was clearly a friend ♪ ♪ Stoned a fire then ♪ ♪ I'm a maniac ♪ ♪ Left a maniac ♪ ♪ Couldn't explain my desire to steal that fire ♪ ♪ Now I add it to my rider ♪ ♪ I'm like, please don't, please don't throw me ♪ ♪ And attach a rider ♪ ♪ Was the best in time ♪ ♪ It was the end of the time ♪ ♪ The sweet council was clueless ♪ ♪ 'Cause I never skipped classes ♪ ♪ Perfect attendance ♪ ♪ Improving acts and speech impediments ♪ ♪ They can never really fix ♪ ♪ And I think that I say some awkward weird classes ♪ - So that, in Demon's Souls 2, so... ♪ One of seven kingdoms ♪ - The topic that we had talked about was people's Game of the Year, and then some games that they liked, but they wouldn't consider for Game of the Year, basically. - They're non-Game of the Year. - So resoundingly in our comments, Mass Effect 2, Game of the Year. - Really? - The first for the Rebel of the Year. - It got to the point where people were commenting. - It got to the point where people were in the comments saying like, "Sorry to be broken record," but Mass Effect 2. But, it's funny too because, you know, like this one guy, Jones, he says, "It's a shame that people tend to forget what comes out "at the beginning of the year when Game of the Year "season rolls around." I feel like that's true, but not this time. - No. - Like, not with Mass Effect. - No one forgot. - I think Mass Effect, according to the neo-gaff media Game of the Year picks thread Red Dead and Mass Effect 2 or even. - You know, it's one of the games that I see come up in some people's comments and I would agree, like, is like a great game, but like, immediately not in the running for Game of the Year is I was gonna say Starcraft 2. - Wow. - Starcraft 2 is like, "I played it." I was like, "Fuck, I loved it." But when people were like, "What's your Game of the Year?" Like, it doesn't even go into my mind. Like, it's a contender. - It's a five. - Or, it's a five. Like, both of those games are like, "I loved them." And just like a... - No, no, don't take it. - No, I was gonna say, "What was yours, Jim?" - Oh, mine is... The correct answer is Darksiders. - Yeah. - Okay, so that is your Game of the Year or is that your Game of the Year that you don't think is Game of the Year that... - That's good. - Right. - I would recommend it to someone. - It's a non-goaty. - Yeah, like, I would tell people like Darksiders fucking great. - Yeah. - Like, I pushed for it to be Adventure Game of the Year. - We get for Fantasy Game of the Year. - Fantasy Game of the Year. That's what it was. But again, it would, like, when it comes down like General Game of the Year, like, no, not a fucking chance, but it's still like-- - Oh, one fantasy game for you guys. - Oh, PS3 was, it was that Darksiders. - It was Darksiders? - Yeah. So I mean, I still think the Darksiders is a fantastic game, but it's like, it's like, down on the list of games you had to have played this year. You know what I mean? I still think it's worth playing, but... - I think to me that this is a really hard question to answer, Mass Effect is easily one of the top ones, and I would say Red Dead is up there too. Also, Heavy Rain. But most of those three games, the reason I like them, so much is 'cause they did things that I haven't seen done well in other games before. So in the case of Mass Effect, it was carrying over all the data from the first game to the second game. - Consequence, I think. - And Red Dead, it was making me like a Western. - No, it was mostly the world I just loved. - Yeah, the environment. - Like a space that's so wide open and sparse, I didn't expect to enjoy every little nook and cranny as much as I did in that game. And I think that the narrative is really good from beginning to end. Like the way that it begins and the way it ends. There's some bad stuff in the middle. I really don't like any of the characters in Mexico or any of the story that happens there. But over the long run, the whole course of the game, I think it's a pretty strong narrative. And, you know, Heavy Rain was just not a game like that in terms of the choices, the way it controls. Like it's like Indigo Prophecy. Like you could see some good ideas in there, but it was like overall just totally flawed. Like hard to recommend to someone that isn't a big. - And it had a really bad interface. Like the interface in Indigo Prophecies is really terrible. Like all the commands are always like up in the top center of the screen, which would take you away. Or like the way they would overlay the Simon Says things like totally took you away from what was going on in screen. And then it's almost like in the last few years they've really learned how to do interfaces to already direct your attention to where the player is already looking anyways. - All right. And the key problem with that game is the voice acting and the writing. So if they can, you know, in the next game they do knock out that problem. And I think they have a bunch of the harder things to figure out, which is how do you make, you know, not that the game play, the mechanics, the controls couldn't be improved from what they are in heavy raid. But they're a lot better than they were in Indigo Prophecy by like, you know, it's so much better that, you know, it seems like voice acting is such an easy thing to fix, relatively speaking. - Yeah. I mean, I think the actors they got were good for their facial animations and stuff. You know, the way they did the mapping and stuff and they went into the actual characters in the game. But I mean, I thought the actors' performances weren't bad. It's just that they weren't very good at being like Philadelphia and people they sounded, they always sounded like, oh, this is someone like trying to be American who's obviously not American. - Yeah, as I mentioned in our show back when we covered this when I still had a show, I played it in French with subtitles. So the lip syncing didn't line up 'cause it was lip syncing to the English voices. But all of a sudden to me then the performances felt right and I was looking down and reading the subtitles during the lip syncing moments anyway. And so to me that is what saved the experience for me 'cause I really don't like the English voices. It really takes me out of it. - So I don't know if I feel like this one's a fair choice. Like so Bill Medrin, like everyone else, Mass Effect 2, whatever. But he says, his like non-game of the year would be Minecraft. - Yeah. - And he says, 'cause he says he, I imagine which games I'll probably remember the most 10 years from now and Mass Effect 2 in Minecraft will fit the bill for him. I mean, I imagine Minecraft will be one of those games we're still talking about a long time from now, but I don't know. I haven't played that game yet. I'm kind of scared too. - It's not really even done yet, doesn't it? - Yeah. - It's really, if you don't like look at a wiki or watch some videos that sort of teach you what the interesting stuff is about it, yeah, you won't, I mean, it's really hard to get into. - I think the best part of that game is just the discovery of like, oh, you can do this. - Cool. - I sort of think right now the best part of the game is watching videos on YouTube of the crazy things that people have done. - Oh, oh yeah. - If you're not the, if you're not the person that, you know, wants to spend hours and hours building 'cause I'm elaborate, whatever. - I'd just like to say that our boss is an ass. I'm done the game of the year voting yet. - No. Oh yeah. - Once you finish, it takes you to never gonna give you up. - It Rick rolls you. - It's Rick rolls you. - Rick rolls you. - That's hilarious. - That's why I don't do that crap. I just ignore those emails. - You ignore the game of the year vote for IGN? - There you go. I don't do that. - That's a great idea. - It's actually, because I like so many games this year, it was easier for me to think about the things that I was disappointed by, that I expected to like. Like, I really wasn't into God of War 3. - I was also really disappointed in God of War 3. God of War 3 and Crackdown 2. - Crackdown 2 and to me, Alan Wake. - Right, Alan Wake, because you're wrong. - Yeah. - I guess so. - And everybody is at the top because you're wrong. - A lot of these people I think misunderstood what you meant by non-game of the year. - That's fine, I mean, we can read disappointments. - They all thought people sucked while people, it's funny 'cause people mentioned Crackdown 2 more than once. I mean, that was like. - I watched people play bait and switch. - I watched people play it enough that I didn't even play it after like the first 20 minutes. And I was like, fuck man, this was like one of the games I was looking to before the most this year. - Yeah, yeah. - I was convinced it was gonna be like the co-op. - We didn't play together once. - Nope, just 'cause it just, we moved on with our lives. - I played it at a preview event for about three hours. They let us, yeah, the game was done. - Three hours, wow, it's a long time to play crackdown. - Exactly, and they put, they just let us go with it and I was-- - Wait, wait, wait. - Ready to go? - Yeah, I was highly disappointed after that play session and I played a bit once it came out, but. - I remember playing Deathmatch at a PAX East last year and being underwhelmed too. And thinking, oh, it's fine. - Yeah, well, it's the biggest player as Dead Rising 2. - Really? - I mean, I played Dead Rising 2. - Did you play Dead Rising 1? - The first game is one of my favorite Xbox games. - And what was wrong with 2? - It's just kind of the same thing, really. - I mean, I disagree. - I don't like the web and creation stuff at all. I don't like doing that. I don't like running back to these rooms, these sheds or something. Where they call them, Arthur. - Did you like running back to bathrooms to save? - The rooms to build your weapons. - Oh, the work stations? Work benches? - I don't know what they're called. Running back there with items, the carrying items. I don't know. It's just kind of the same game to me. It just didn't really hit me as well as the first one did, really. - I felt like they made enough usability improvements to take just enough jank away to make that game playable. I also played on PC and that helped a lot. - Maybe. I just, I don't know. First one was just so good to me. Everything was so perfect in that game. - Oh, wow. - I just really-- - Really? - Couldn't do it again. - He's also in love with Demon's Soul. - Oh, right. - So what do you want? - Okay. I love that respect. I'm not the only one out there. - Perspective, yeah. Demon's Souls is appropriate perspective for this conversation. - So this is a, Tanner makes one for his non-game of the year, which I fucking agree with, is a, not game of the year is Splinter Cell Conviction. Purchased on the recommendation of Rebel FM, I ended up really liking it. Super slick, super polished. It made me feel like a panther. I wish I had someone to play through it on co-op though, which that is a game that was worth playing on co-op. - I never played co-op. - The co-op campaign of that is also excellent. - I love that game. - And the DLC is all good. Like every, that game is, that game is easily one of the better, like experiences I had all year, but I still again, he's right. I would not be like, game of the year. - There are just a lot of really good fucking games that came out this year. Like not just, not just, oh, look actually good, but like this game is sort of generational in how good it is. Like I think Red Dead is that for a lot of people, certainly not for me. Mass Effect 2 is probably my favorite game of the generation. You know, I mean Halo Reach came out. Halo Reach isn't making any best of lists. - Halo Reach is the best Halo game. - It is a fantastic game. I remember when I was, I was playing Halo Reach thinking like, man, that Halo's never been this good. Like it's never been this good. There's so much stuff in this game. I played, I got super sucked into Halo Reach. - You know what? - I hated Halo. - You know, I thought it was weird as a, so this, my girlfriend's son, he's playing through all the Halo games. And his favorite one was Halo 2. - Wow. - For the Arbiter story. Isn't that interesting? - The Arbiter story is my favorite story. - Me too. - Me too. But I just thought someone that had never played the Halo games, they would, that would be like, like that just shows to me that that was really good. - Is the only character in a Halo game whose motivation you understand? - That's what I'm saying. It was such a good thing. And everyone shitted on it. I don't understand why I used to stay. - Because you weren't the math or chief. - Yeah. - Because it's very, it's, the story was good. It's the fact that the gameplay is so similar. You know, it's like, oh yeah, I'm a crazy alien creature and this is basically the same as it would be as if I was a dude in a robot suit. - I guess. - Like what if they had made the Arbiter sections? What if you had gotten to run really fast? I don't know. - Turning invisible wasn't enough for you? - No. - You were fucking invisible. I had active camouflage as a Spartan before. - Invisible. - Active camouflage. - Invisible. - Yeah, say I just don't know 'cause I haven't played the old ones just 'cause you know you guys were saying Halo reached the best Halo arc. I enjoyed the Halo reach, but I don't know. I haven't played the other ones in so long. I wonder if I would-- - It's, I definitely feel like it's got the best pacing by far. - Like your favorites are the latest ones. - I guess they just feel so different too because when you go back and see Halo 1 and 2, they almost feel cartoony with the way the grunts like - And also they're just super easy. - And then the aliens in the new one are like intimidating and kind of evil looking and I don't know. - That's the best thing about reach to me is the changes to the arc direction. - And they made Jackals threatening? - Oh yeah. - I mean, they made everything threatening as opposed to the guys that are like, "He's a demon." - I mean, I was going through it. I stopped 'cause a lot of other things came out, but I was actually attempting to do it on legendary. - I wanted to do that too when I just didn't have time. - And I made it, I made it through, I made it a lot farther than I thought I would before deciding to stop. And it's not that I wasn't hitting checkpoints where I was dying a lot. - Just that it was October. - Yeah. - Nothing was out and I was playing the shit out of it. - So, Reluctant Hero, Mass Effect 2, Game of the Year, certainly spreading, but his not Game of the Year, this is a weird one. I don't think anyone else of this, this is alpha protocol, hands down. - Yeah, that's, you know what? I've seen other people mention all that. - He says the game has quite a few bugs, but if you can get past those technical flaws, you'll grind an engaging spy storyline that implements your choices and the consequences of those choices throughout the entire game. This is truly a diamond in the rough. I don't know, man, I watched Arthur play it and I was like, oh God. Like it was one of those games that actually looked bad enough that I was like, I don't want to give it a chance. - It was, I feel like it was a rough in the rough. Alpha protocol, I did not think alpha protocol had any redeeming qualities. Yeah, it just alpha protocol felt shit out. Like it was delayed quietly, disappeared from everyone's watch list and then just sort of got pooped out at the beginning of the year and no one ever talked about it again. - I like that this year had a bunch of, I mean, I guess this is probably true of most years, but I feel like whatever genre is your genre of choice, there was a fantastic game in that genre. Like if someone told me that their game of the year was super street fighter four, I couldn't really argue with that 'cause if that's what you're into, that game is fantastic. If you like racing games, you know, we had split second need for speed, Gran Turismo, blur, lots of good stuff this year. If you like RTS, you got Starcraft do, you know. - And nothing else. - That's the best strategy you've got to have five. - You have five. - Action games have been a lot of worth it. - Ryan, what about this one though? This guy named the Iron Yuppy. His non-game of the year, a game that he thinks is still truly great though, is Alan Wake. He says, I really dug Twin Peaks feel I got at times and the episode breaks slash cliffhanger slash music. So interludes just rocked. - I agree. - Deadly Premonition, more Twin PC. - I think Alan Wake is on my list for non-game of the year just because I felt like the story was worth it and I felt like the characterization was good. I thought it was funny where it needed to be and scary where it needed to be. - I think it's the best like horror game of the year. Well, for consoles. - Right, then there's Amnesia, which is different. What other horror games came out this year? See, that's the things I'm not-- - Honestly, on PS3, when we were trying to think of awards, we were like fucking lacking. Like people were like, heavy rain. I was like, that's not really a horror game. - It's a thriller. - Well, I guess it could kind of be. - It's a thriller. - But yeah, I mean, really, there weren't that, there weren't really a lot of horror games coming out this year, you know? - I mean, Dead Rising 2 could certain qualify. - Was there a-- - Dead Nation. - But yeah, I mean, we were just having this talk before, you're not a big Alan Wake fan. - Oh yeah, I'm not, you know, I'm not. Like the character, like Barry, I really didn't like him at Barry's, his is his right-- - The Agent. - The Agent, right? At the beginning of the game, I thought he was awful. Just got awful. - And then he wore Christmas lights. - Yeah. - And you thought, I would do that. - It's that, it's that, you know, the one liners, they just keep going on, like he just keeps hitting you with him and it gets the point where you kind of, it's endearing and that, that was nice. I don't really like Alan Wake is a character. I think to me, what I was saying before when Arthur and I were talking about this, I found the level design to be really unfulfilling. I also didn't think it was a very beautiful game, which sounds lame. I mean, to me, it's a shooter, right? It's basically a shooter with good, but not great mechanics and yeah, just, I don't know. It felt like it was in development too long and went all these different places like you get to the parts of the stages where you're driving cars around and you're like, wow, this seems like a relic of an older version of this game that-- - Which it was. - Exactly, that didn't get completed. So that, it just stands out, you know, like when I entered those stages, that's immediately what I was thinking and I feel like I broke the game for myself also by trying to run around the stages to find the thermoses. I fucking hate those-- - You can just drive yourself insane finding all the collectibles in Alan Wake, like, oh, I need to knock all over all the fucking cans that I see and stuff like that. - I ended up, I would run into, you know, the forest environments and find all the invisible walls. - It simultaneously has the best and worst collectibles in a game this year. - What is best about 'em? - The pages, like the pages that change like your understanding of the game. - I feel like-- - I haven't had to think about best collectibles of the year, but I'm sure I could think of ones that were better if I had to think. - I feel like this person that picked the game about to say picked it only 'cause it's the only game they played over the year. Their name is Lunchbox700. And the game they picked was, my game of the year was easily just cause two. I spent over 120 hours on that game and I'm still not at 100%. - I was one of my biggest surprises of the year. - I mean, I thought it was surprising too because of the first one bored the shit out of me. And so I was expecting the second one to be boring and it was actually like, it's like so silly and fun. - We talked about what we cracked down to being a super misfire this year. I think part of the reason it seemed so lame to me is 'cause I was playing Red Dead. - I just caused two. - It just caused two and Red Dead Redemption like literally right before it came out. And so to go from those open world experiences to crackdown was just, you know, a good, to me, a really good open world game, especially one that, you know, not maybe not Red Dead since it doesn't make much sense, but I like it when an open world game has a lot of verticality to it and nothing has the verticality of just cause. - Right, I mean, I agree that it's a cool game, but to make it your game of the year, he said he spent 120 hours, which I'm saying he didn't play anything else. - I don't know, like I was just cause. - The only other game he seems to have played which is his not game of the year is Pac-Man GX, because even though I'm on top 5% on every category in that game, I can't be Arthur. So he says, ha ha ha ha. - I like that game too, although. - I have a pretty good score on that game. Lake from Boston, Massachusetts, that's his name, says amnesia dark descent is the game of the year for me. No other game has enveloped me in such a macabre psychosis and made me go number one and or two in my size 32s. I don't have much time to play to game anymore and I usually turn to gaming as brief moments of escapism. Amnesia dark descent is a master class in the art of immersion. I would, I've only played without it. - I don't wonder if it has played Penumbra. - Yeah, I mean, all their games are good from this particular developer. - I have only played about maybe the first hour or two of that. - Penumbra, the first one isn't worth playing, in my mind. - No, just have them, just have music. - They give you a weapon to defend yourself. They learn that that's terrible. They take that away in the second penumbra and-- - I got an amnesia code from the developers for Game of the Year stuff and it got lost in my email over break. I feel really bad about that. - So yes, everyone should try amnesia. It's not that expensive. And it's for PC and-- - And Mac. - Is it a Mac? - Yeah, it's a Mac. - Yeah, and it'll run on some older systems too. It's not like a super intensive looking game. - What's it kind of like, can you do that quick? - It's a first person game and it's basically, it's horror, but you're always hiding and trying to out smart enemies. And the whole thing is that it's very physics-based. So when you open a door, you like click with your mouse to hold the door knob and then pull your mouse back to open. You can partially close doors and partially open doors. - Yeah, you can like, yeah, it was. - Are you serious? - They know if Falcon was one of the ways you could play it back in the day. - Oh man. - And so the whole point is that you can like, grab a door and crack it open really slowly to see if an enemy is there and then like, shut it real quick. - Man, that makes me wanna know if Falcon just to play that. - It would play excellent. - It would be wacky. - That's funny. - But yes. - This year was a really good game for iPhone games. I could just like list a bunch of them that were good, but I think it's like-- - Did some people actually say deadly permission for their not game in the year? Like, as in, it was still good? I played-- - I'm in the camp of that game that's terrible. - I played it for 10 minutes and turned it off. I bought it because so many people were saying such good things about it. And I played it for 10 minutes and turned it off. - It's another one of those sort of ironic darlings. - But it's not even ironic in a good way. It's just fucking bad. It's not even like, "Ha ha, we made something cut." No, it's fucking stupid. - I didn't play enough of it to be able to make a judgment, but I definitely didn't, you know, I don't think, I think even the people that like it a lot would say, you know, you gotta forgive these bad mechanics to enjoy the good parts about it, but I didn't give it that much of a shot. So I don't feel qualified to say it, but it didn't grab me. - I played about, I wanna say four or five hours of it, and I don't know if that-- - Why did you play so much of it if you didn't enjoy it? - It didn't start out me not liking it. I kind of went in with no expectations and sort of just declined steadily to the point where I just had to stop playing it. I don't know. I usually give stuff a chance for a little bit before I get on it. - Right. But four hours, man. - Yeah, that's what I've noticed is this is definitely the year of, and maybe it's 'cause I'm not in the industry in the same way where I don't have to do reviews all the time, but there's so many good games now that I really don't, if it doesn't grab me, I can't do the, oh, you gotta play the first, you know, 10 hours to really appreciate it. Like, oh, I thought of another disappointment of the year that I seriously, no one mentions it because it's fucking God awful, but Final Fantasy 13. - I was actually thinking of that while-- - It's actually funny, I haven't read 'em yet, but several people in the comments as far as time at this point, it's mentioned both 13 and 14 as like total-- - Oh, we're talking about this team now, yeah, I have no, I don't play 'em at most, so I don't know anything about it, but yeah, I just took a copy of Final Fantasy 13 to GameStop the other day to trade in 'cause I was like, I'm never, I will never ever, I will never go back to this. I played it, I put at least 10 hours into it, probably. - I have no interest in it anymore. I think I'm done with Final Fantasy right now. - Yeah, they would have to really do something wildly different or wildly old, like really appeal to my nostalgia in a way that I don't know, I just don't know what they could possibly do to make it like it. - I wanna give honorable mention too, which is for his Not Game of the Year game, they're still good, this is not crappy one, Dan. Was Prince of Persia Forgotten Sands? This was a solid platformer that nobody played. You can find it now for like $20, and if you like the series, it's definitely worth playing, and I will second that. - I seem super derivative and boring. - I would have to disagree. - If you like the series, it's totally, I thought it was fun, I thought it was a good game. - When I put it, I was expecting to feel that way, so I bought it, and then I put it in, and it immediately felt like a budget game to me. - And the graphics are fucking weird. - Yeah, it does have some points where it feels a little budgety at times, but I still feel like the gameplay and stuff is like, this is Prince of Persia. - This is another one that I will admit to not giving much of a chance. I don't think I made it out of the tutorial. - See, I played it all the way for review, and by the end of it, I was like, man, I really liked it, like I thought it came out really well. - This is another one of the times like Metroid where I played the beginning of it, and I was like, yeah, not into this, and then I put in Sands of Time immediately afterwards, and I was like, that's it, there it is, that's the Prince of Persia. - Prince of Persia 2008 this year, and still haven't put it in, but I really need to play the-- - I do not like that game. - But yeah, I just thought that that was one of the things that you can find every time. - Designed by subtraction has going too far. Like removing, removing, removing, and cutting away until there's nothing left, but a game that plays itself, and Balls on the screen, which is one of the reasons that I think that Enslaved should not be thought of as a game of the year this year, 'cause of the stupid orbs all over the freaking game. - People talk about people, a few people mention that one as a game that people will be talking about in like five years still. You don't think so, huh, right? - Right, so, you know? - No, I mean, I-- - I think it's gonna be a game that is forgotten about, and occasionally people will rediscover it and say, man, this game is really interesting, I'm surprised I've never heard before. - I mean, I've never played a game in a long time that since like, Uncharted 2 and stuff like that, where I just like was playing for the moments where I saw character interaction. Like it's like, you know, like Uncharted did that, and Enslaved the same way, like, I love the character interaction. - I just think the heavenly sword is, I like all the things that I like about Enslaved, which is all the character stuff that-- - Oh God, don't say heavenly sword did it better, it so did not. - What do you mean? - Like the characters of the heavenly sword were so much more shallow and one-dimensional than they were in Enslaved. - Okay, so let me, I'll just say that my memory of Heavenly Sword felt like they were, and when I haven't played Heavenly Sword since it first came out. - Did you play Game Club with us? - I didn't. - Okay, we played Heavenly Sword as of like a year ago. - Yeah, I know. I, Heavenly Sword was great for when it came out. It was a good game at the time. - Heavenly Sword was not great when it came out. - I think it was great. - I've, I, as someone who appreciates games with really robust combat, like, systems, I just don't understand how you could think that. - Because it wasn't the combat system that drew me in. It was the story stuff, the voice acting, the lip syncing is incredible and-- - I mean, again, the facial work they do, but Enslaved has great facial animation and characters. - But I don't think it's, I don't think it's come forward at all. - I do, man, I just-- - And of course, this one was also-- - I think Monkey actively had, like, looks not bad, but I think-- - Yeah, but let's also point out-- - This trip looks so much better than Monkey does in terms of the facial animation that it's weird. - And this game is also made-- - Especially since Andy Serkis is doing that face. - This game is also obviously made on probably a much smaller budget. - And I think that hurts it. - It does, but I've seen, look at Heavenly Sword again, like, go online and look at it. I feel like your nostalgia for Heavenly Sword is-- - So let me put it this way. I don't really, I mean, I don't like Heavenly Sword, I wouldn't think it's the same, to me it's the same as Enslaved. Like, I won't think about that positively, you know, five years from now. - I think the underlying mechanics of Enslaved are much more sound than Heavenly Sword was. - I think Enslaved's badass. That's my profession. - I definitely feel like their people can complain about the mechanics of Enslaved and they totally have valid complaints. Like there are some buggy fucking areas. - It's incredibly mashy. - It can be very mashy. The combat is pretty one note, but I feel like it all comes together just well enough to enjoy the ride through the game. - Exactly, to make it worth playing through to see the next cut scene. - Which is, I'm totally with you. I just don't think that those are the type of games that we should be rewarding in Game of the Year discussions. - Right, oh, absolutely. - But I know, but it's-- - What are we talking about Game of the Year? - Well, no, that's not Game of the Year, that's a game someone really wanted. - I think I just think it's a game that you could totally tell people. Like that was totally worth playing, especially if they found it on the cheap side. Like totally. - Yeah, like $3 was a good-- - I mean, it was kind of hard to review because from a purely, like from as objective as standpoint is I could think of like it was a passable game, but it meant so much more to me playing through it that I kind of erred on the side of giving it a higher score. - Yeah, I mean, that's like that Silent Shattered Memories game, like to go back to that, that was like a game that was like, man, this game has so many fucked up things, but fuck, I enjoyed it despite it. - Yeah, exactly, I was at where I was expecting more so I was disappointed by what I was playing. - But I mean, I would really hope that someone could read the text of my review and understand that like there's some mechanical shortcomings to enslave. Like there's some really crazy input lag like just to start with. - They're mechanicals, they're mechanical. - To me, that is like, that is the key. - It's not as bad as it was in Heavenly Sword, but it's still pretty bad. - I mean, we talk about all the time, but Uncharted 2 had mechanical shortcomings with a lot of the shooting stuff, and I still would have said Uncharted 2 is fucking amazing. - But that's it, if you, to me, if you put in Uncharted 2, you know, and enslaved, I mean, obviously, if the story's totally different, if you're into the enslaved story more than you're into the Uncharted story, there's nothing but, I mean, for, it was clearly inspired by Uncharted 2. - It was inspired by an ancient myth called Journey to the West. - I think presentation is speaking of that sort of document. - Presentation's speaking it totally. - Yeah, that's, that's all. - You're referring to, like, giant-- - The view sequences in the game that do the action sequences, like a thing chasing after you. - I think if, you know, moving vehicle and doing, you know-- - If Ninja Theory had, like, another eight months and another $10 million, then enslaved could have been a much more chip-shaped game when it released. I think it would have gotten better scores. I think it would have gotten more attention. - I just think it's perfectly fine to say the game has some mechanical feelings, but you fucking love it despite it, you know? - Yeah, I guess, like I say, I wanted, because I thought that, for the time, Heavenly Sword was an experience that I didn't expect to like, but turned out to be really cool, I wanted to see a bigger step forward than what I saw with it. - Do you guys play a-- - Or with a monster hunter game? 'Cause this one guy, Benjamin, says that Monster Hunter Tri is his first and only monster hunter game played so far, and is his game of the year out, with over 335 hours played. Nice, 335 fucking-- - I've tried to play a few of 'em. - My favorite line he says though, is it's not for everyone unless you live in Japan. - That's true. - So, I don't even-- - It's the same thing that I said a few seconds ago, where I just don't have the time, I'm not gonna give a game 10 hours before, you know, take to really grow on me. - The PSP, the best-selling system in Japan this year. - It was. - Last year. - Slowly, because of fucking Monster Hunter? - Yep, and the new one just came out there, the new-- - I just don't get it. Like, I've watched Monster Hunter and stuff, I just don't understand-- - Did you ever play Fantasy Star Online? - No. - Wow, that's why you don't get it. - It's exactly Fantasy Star Online. - Exactly, Fantasy Star Online was a right place, right time game, and I would hope that time has demonstrated that at this point. - Oh, I'm not, I totally-- - 'Cause every Fantasy Star online rehash has been fucking terrible. - You know, but none of 'em have the magic that the first one had either, like, after, you know, it's little thing. - The Dreamcast keyboard, you mean? - No, I mean, like, the, you know, it's like art and sound problems. You know, like, the music in Fantasy Star Online was great, the visuals, like, while simple were great, whereas Fantasy Star Universe, the one that came afterwards, like, didn't have any of that crap, that it was crap. And with, when you keep the same mechanics, but then the art in music don't sort of fuel you in the same way, it's not as good. - What about Super Mario Galaxy 2 and Fallout New Vegas? I was kinda, I just stepped low. - I saw a few people mention Fallout New Vegas as they're not Game of the Year. - A lot of people mention it's not Game of the Year, which mostly came down to one of two things, was either that they felt the Mojave Desert wasn't as, like-- - Interesting. - Interesting environment as the DC metropolitan area, or they said, flat out the bugs. Like, people were like, I loved it, but I had to get crash on me 18 times. - That's so funny 'cause I never got any bugs in that game. - So it's funny that you say it because I've seen it in the office, crash on people like five times in like an hour, and then I've watched other people play for like three hours and not experience any bugs. - I didn't have that many game ending bugs, but they were definitely like, I lost Eddie permanently. - Right off the bat, and I'm not the less than that. - No, not right off the bat, like 25 or 30 hours in. - But then you could never get a second-- - I could never get a second companion because I couldn't dismiss Eddie. I just feel like Fallout 3's depth of content goes from like an inch to six feet, and I feel like Fallout New Vegas ranges from the length of a hand to up to my elbow, and that's it. Like, I feel like you get just so far into it, and that's all there is. In the endgame, there are a lot more options for how it can play out, and I know that that really appeals to some people, they like that things aren't cut and dried. There are a bunch of different factions that you can join or sort of take their side, and I get that, but I just didn't feel like it was as rewarding. - What's surprising to me is, sorry. - No, I just feel like the New Vegas sort of crumbles at the end. - It's weird to me, 'cause as I was telling you guys before we started the podcast, in theory, I know how much I should love the Fallout 3 in particular, and I don't know what it was when I was playing, the janky is verging, so I was playing on PS3, or what it was about it, but I just never got sucked into it, and somehow, I know, I know I should go back, but somehow I got into New Vegas, and I just had a blast with it, and it wasn't buggy for me at all. It never crashed once. - Do you press a count? Steam press again? It's on Steam. - Yeah, I know. - I have to do all that once. - I'm slightly surprised that looking at all this, like I'm both surprised and not surprised, but no one has GT5 on here anywhere. Like, not disappointment, not in game of the year, just not even mentioned. - What about Final Fantasy 13? - Oh, Final Fantasy 13 was, getting mentioned. - Yeah. - To me, that's like the most forgettable game of the year. - What game? - Final Fantasy 13. - Oh, I think I pissed a lot of people off. They had to pay for like 30 hours before anything of merit happened. - Oh, really? I've thought a lot of people were super apologists about it. - I mean, they are, but I think that made a lot of people get pissed about it, too. - That game is very much- - But it's just amazing to me that like, no one even is like, man, GT5, what the fuck happened? Or GT5, I love that game, even though it's flawed. - I do want to step back for a moment and go to what you said of, you mentioned Super Mario Galaxy too a moment ago. And like that game, when I was playing it, I remember thinking there's more creativity in every fifth of one stage in this than most games have at all. Like, I couldn't believe how many, you know, you'd go to the next stage and it's a completely new set of enemies. There's so much like art in the game, like every part of it is so like focused in one little area of one little stage and you go to some other area and it's like totally different stuff for some wildly new mechanic that you have to use. I just felt like it was constantly introducing me to things. And I didn't finish Mario Galaxy One. I played like half of it. And so I don't know if a lot of the stuff that I think was all new and wild was actually in the second half of Galaxy that I didn't play, but I thought Galaxy Two was mind-blowingly good. - I'm only gonna read one more to keep us on schedule here, but this one I feel like it was made just to troll Arthur, which is why I'm reading it. Some James Mason, he says, "My game of the year was vanquished." It was an incredible game. It was always fun, always a challenge and always wherever the top. The game was all about moments in gunplay. I found myself yelling, "Fuck yeah, more in this game than any other." His non-game of the year, Mass Effect Two. It was a great game and great storytelling, but the shooting was okay and the dialing options were pretty abysmal. - Yeah, if you play a soldier like everyone else. - Paragon was always paragon and renegade, always renegade. It didn't matter what type of character the NPC, it was always up for paragon points and down for renegade. Still Mass Effect Two was pretty incredible, but. - I just, I feel like it slips by some people that it's not so much whether or not you played the game Super Paragon or Super Renegade so much as your renegade or Paragon decision in that situation is going to affect the way that Mass Effect Three unfolds. Like playing Mass Effect Two, it occurred to me again after going to Illium, like how major the rachnize part in Mass Effect Three could be if you let them live in Mass Effect One. And so just, which was not a good or evil decision, it was a Paragon or Renegade decision. Like do you destroy them because the rachnize proved to be a horrifying plague on the galaxy? Or do you give them a chance because they're an intelligent life form that could change? You know, and there's not a right decision there. Like there's understandable options on both sides. So I just, like the only reason to fill up your renegade or Paragon meter is either to heal your face without paying 50,000 credits or to have more Paragon or Renegade options in conversations. Yeah, like you should play the way that feels right to you at any given moment. Either play the way that you're role-playing that shepherd or play the way you think you would do it. Exactly. Like, I mean, I'm basically playing Mass Effect Two the same way the second time that I did the first with one exception that I can think of, which is that on Illium during Samara's mission where you have to hunt out the location of the ship that her quarry left on. You come across the blue eclipse or whatever. The eclipse mercenary that's hiding in the room that asks you not to kill her, that insists that she didn't kill anyone. You killed her? Yeah. The first time I didn't, and then whatever later you find evidence. She was the person that she was the person that killed the partner of the person that was implicated. So with that knowledge the second time? Gun that bitch down, the second the paragon or the renegade option came up, and then we found the evidence, and then Mordens like, good, that we killed her. You're fucking right, it was. That bitch didn't get away this time. I always thought it was funny whenever I play through on my renegade play through, I had like, your face becomes like, you have like glowing red eyes and these huge scars, and no one like bets an eye at that. No one's like, no one's ever like, man, your face is fucked up. What's wrong with your eyes? Why are your eyes red? I don't know. Your eyelids are in everywhere, I guess. So should we take a break and go into letters? Should we just go straight into letters? Let's take a break and go into letters after I say that Sonic Colors is fucking awesome. We'll be much more people tryin' it. Demon's a little sex. ♪ Johnny Long ♪ ♪ Well he's a little less man I ever saw ♪ ♪ With his badge and his gun ♪ ♪ He'll just hassle everyone ♪ ♪ He'll get you on the run, Johnny Long ♪ (upbeat music) ♪ Without any proof they couldn't keep me there ♪ ♪ So they let me out in the morning ♪ - All right, we're back. Two things, two things. That Tyler wanted me to make sure, 'cause he couldn't be here today. That he has since recanted his opinion about uncircumcised pieces. - Were first, completely reversed. - Yes, he's, he's-- - He's on a 180. - He's totally, understands why people would have uncircumcised pieces. He doesn't think it's weird, and he thinks it's actually, you know, totally okay natural. - He is building foreskin as we speak. - Yes. - What was this conversation about? - We just, I think, I think somehow it came out that, you know, Tyler was like, "Man, weird." You know, uncircumcised penis, how weird, you know. - And that began along-- - That's pretty good, Tyler. - Died tragic. - And we got-- - Without circumcision. - And we got-- - Altano and Bromley. - And we got a ton of emails about from uncircumcised. - Well, the reason you get uncircumcised, right, is 'cause there's, for medical reasons, right? - Totally, I mean, the idea, the idea is, the idea is that it's supposed to be cleanlier. - Yeah. - But, but there's always been, there's been studies and stuff that show that it reduces the sensitivity of the junk. So these other-- - It's always weird whenever I see porn with like a dude uncircumcised, I'm like, "You know, a girl wouldn't want that." I don't know. - Well, apparently, you know, they-- - We got a lot of emails being like, "Fuckin' people, girls don't care." And some of them are even into it, and you know, and he's like, and for me, sex is like 20 times better for me than it is for my friend's ball boss. So Tyler's done research and said that he is sorry. - I think if I was a girl and I saw an uncircumcised penis for the first time, I'd be kind of like, "Huh, interesting. Let's have a conversation first, and then we'll go." I don't know. Also-- - I really don't wanna think about doing an uncircumcised-- - The other part I wanted to hit the second point was this one, which was the last podcast we did two weeks ago. We talked about somehow it came up when David Bowie was spinning the balls in his hand. - Yeah. - And this person just wanted to point out. I just wanted to write this email so that you would know that David Bowie didn't do the ball tricks and labyrinth. It was a circus performer who stood behind him with his arm and his sleeve. It's all in the making of video. - That person felt that that was worth it right into a size. - David Bowie is not as adept at handling balls as we thought. - So, thoughts on hacking, the PS3? He says, "I just wanted to hear a discussion, "especially from Arthur, I only have a PC and a Wii "for my kids about the apparently abysmal security "that was recently revealed in the PS3. "More interested in the colossal failure "of random numbers than the piracy part of the hack. "Also, can this mean that someone could theoretically "release code that can be forced into all PS3s "without the owners' permissions?" - On the likely on the last part. The abysmal security failure having to do with random numbers for PS3 is that the way they generate their security keys is an algebraic, or I think it's an algebraic equation, it could be calculus. They're supposed to be two unknown figures in the equation, which makes it really, really difficult to solve for. But what this hacker group discovered is that the random number, which is R, I mean, it's always supposed to be random for every key. It turns out that R always equals one in their keys. So then they just did some math that for a hacker is pretty simple and solved for the other number and broke open their entire key signing algorithm. So in addition to a number of other security holes, including a weird hypervisor thing that you can hear more about on YouTube that explains it much better than I could because I'm not on this scene, I just have a very fairly basic grasp of it. There was a series of fundamental mistakes that Sony made with regards to the way that the PS3 security system operates and they relied on a sort of obscurity in the way that the operating system and the bootloader operate on the PS3 to assume that no one would ever figure out how it's doing, what it's doing, or how it's writing, what it does to boot and to run its OS and they were wrong. And hackers figured it pretty much all out and had busted the system wide open and in the process also busted open the PSP even more so than it was before and the Blu-ray encryption scheme that HDCP uses, I believe. So it's pretty fucked right now as far as security goes. There's no serious hacks out right now but I think the prediction is that within three months they'll start seeing major shit going down on PS3. In the meantime, these hackers have gotten Linux/other OS running perfectly on PS3 Slims which Sony insisted was a hardware limitation previously that prevented them from doing it. They can downgrade any PS3. They can sign any code and make the PS3 think that it's totally legit. It could be a pretty major problem. Like the Xbox got cracked wide open in the last year so if it's released and it resulted in some pretty shitty stuff going down on Xbox Live and just with piracy. - And Dreamcast obviously had a piracy problem. - So you had no idea that the Dreamcast had a piracy problem until way after it was not a viable system. - Oh, I knew. - Were you one of them? Were you one of them? - No, I worked at I worked at a store and I worked for a Dreamcast website so I was covering the news. - Give it a plug, what store on what site? - Electronics Boutique, you've never heard of it? - No, I didn't. - And I worked for, I was a news editor and then site runner of planetdreamcast.com. - Oh, nice. - But I was gonna say at least the PlayStation 3 is several years into its cycle before this happened. - Right, and basically the people that are primarily or that are completely responsible for hacking the PS3 are homebrew people like Linux aficionados and they maintain that the reason that they never tried to hack the PS3 was because it had Linux support and that once they removed Linux support from the original PS3s, that's when they decided to crack it and a year later they did. So, I mean, they insist that they're not doing for piracy. They say that their research could lead to the ability to run pirated content on the PS3 but they're not gonna do it, which is good for Sony, I guess, because it seems like if they wanted to, they could have it done in short order. - Right. - But they've laid all the groundwork that needs to be done for that to happen and my biggest concern is the whole idea of hacking in multiplayer games or it would be if I played multiplayer games on VSM, which I generally don't. But I mean Halo 2 is a good example of the shit that can go down when a system is cracked wide open, like fucking flying warthogs and hacked maps and all sorts of weird shit. - Like street fighter rainbow edition bullshit. - Yeah, and Sony doesn't have a good system in place to ban consoles the way that Microsoft did. - Oh, really? - Probably because they've never dealt with piracy on that scale before. - They probably thought it wasn't gonna happen. - Oh, 2011 is the year of the PS3, so we shall see. - This next time it's turning. - This next email I'm about to read basically sums up all the uncircumcised stuff really well. I love the title of the email. It's called Deflated Balloon, which I think is what we must have equated to Penis as well. - I thought any of your penis was-- - Mm-hmm. - Those are in Paul, he says. Speaking as an uncircumcised man, I can tell you that having a Silent Hill monster for a penis does have its downsides, such as minor difficulties with condom usage and guys like you lording it over us with your beautiful cocks. But chief among them is the awkward moment when you have to tell a girl you're uncut and wondering how she's going to react. Most just aren't used to it while some might not care, but others might actually get off on it regarding it as something new and interesting to play with. - Great, exciting, that's exactly what you want to be. - It's an initial kind of shock. - Yeah, as for the question of cleanliness, he says it really is just a matter of good person hygiene, like brushing your teeth. As off-putting as this may sound, I've always thought of an uncircumcised penis to be very similar to a vagina, especially one with meaty flaps. Thinking about all that pee and various other distorts seeping out of the many folds of the veg often makes me nervous about going down on a girl. With that in mind, I try to do whatever I can to keep my junk clean, just as I would expect any girl to do so. - He wants to pay laughing, right? - Yeah, he wants to pay it for a real animal cleanness. - He wants his dick-shitting and his mortgage. - And he says, and as for Tyler, he says, as for Tyler-- - His dick-shitting. - Thank you. - As for Tyler wondering about uncut-jacking, speaking from extensive personal experience, yes, foreskin makes an excellent tool for masturbation. For one thing, you don't have to mess yourself with lubes or lotion. - There you go. I mean, speaking of someone who's also done a fair amount of research, you don't really have to do that if you're circumcised. - Well, you don't. But I mean, there is a while before you develop the equivalent of elephant skin on your dick from abusing yourself so much, so. - How much do you abuse yourself? - Oh, man. - Let's move on to next question anyway. - I had very few girlfriends. I don't know, man. The internet was a horrible place before there was high-speed internet and I could acquire porn easily. - What have I animated GIFs? - I didn't even know about GIFs, it was just JPEGs. - I remember back in the day, like, '56 cake connection. - That was Bitmaps. - Yeah, back in the day, so we had a web TV. I don't know if you remember all the TV, fuck yeah. And so back in the day, I had a friend who had a pretty high-pocket computer, but he still had a dial-up. He'd send me, like, fakes of, what's the girl from Scream? - Neff Campbell. - Courtney Cox, fakes. - They were clearly fakes, but it would, like, I would be dialing it on web TV and the TV up and the picture would be downloading, like, pixel-by-pixel down. I'd be like, "Waitin' for me." "Here it comes, here it comes, here comes the boobs." And then, yeah, that was a good time. I think I'm a little too excited about that. - There you go. - Anyway, continue. - I'm gonna read a letter. This is not getting related from Kevin. He says, "I'm a very irate and unhinged 20-year-old. "I often see socializing with regular people to be a chore, "something that requires more patience and energy than I have. "This means I lead a very frustrating life "as a college student and a cashier at the school bookstore. "I am also plagued by chronic nightmares, "often having two or more nightmares a night. "Getting a full night's sleep isn't easily, "especially because mental stress "can increase the frequencies of these nightmares. "When I was younger and faced with a difficult individual, "I would walk away from the situation in fluster days. "Recently, this hasn't been the case. "If someone was being a dick, "I'll just scream through your insults at them." So, he says, "Despite otherwise rare violent occurrences, "I have found fairly effective treatment for my anger." He says, "The Mass Effect 2 Galaxy Map song New Worlds. "It is so soothing. "The tense frustration is alleviated "like a weight lifted off me. "I put this one song on repeat "if I got off from work, bomb the final, "or my roommate is neglecting the filthy bathroom. "The song also helps me get to sleep peacefully "and not experience this many nightmares. "I was wondering if anyone else in Rebel "if him crew had anger issues "and if they could give any tips on conflict resolution. " Therapy." - No, marijuana. - No, I'm dead serious. - That could actually agitate him more. - No, no, no, no, it'll chill him out and as far as the nightmare thing goes, it'll take your nightmares will float away. - But the other thing is-- - Counseling. - The other thing, yes, this guy, to me, it sounds like-- - That's expensive. - Like these things about him being-- - Oh, and Potts not? - No. - The him being unhinged, him being like having difficulty in like a-- - Social system. - So, this sounds to me kind of like some symptoms that remind me of depression or bipolar disorder. I'm just saying you should see a professional. Don't try and diagnose yourself. You're at school, see a professional. You go on school counselors. - That's true, but he's also at school at college, so-- - I don't want to, there are counseling resources available to you. - At school, yeah, that's, I mean-- - I don't want you to feel like I'm making fun of you 'cause I'm not, but you sound a little disturbed and I'm not like, ha ha, deeply disturbed. - No, yeah, when I heard the reason I read this 'cause I'm like, man, you need to use your school resources. - Yeah, it sounds like they're stuck in the agarate, right? - Yeah, it happened when in your past that you were-- - Or maybe you have some sort of chemical imbalance. - There could be that too. - Like just, you should get, don't diagnose the chef on WebMD. Just fucking go to a doctor, bastard. Let's see. What? - That's always a good start to a question. - This guy was like, Tyler isn't, or Tyler isn't Tyler. He sounds like this director from the movie Brick. And Arthur doesn't sound like Arthur. He sounds like Kevin Smith. Like, that was a female. - I was like, wait, so I go on Twitter bitching about how critics don't understand me and that nothing I do is for them and rave like a fucking crazy person about my wife's asshole. - You're what? - Kevin Smith has slowly lost his mind. - Oh, I was like, do I have to stop what you did? - What do you mean, why do you say Kevin Smith has lost his mind? - Follow him on Twitter for a week and tell me what you think. - Oh, I need an example real quick while I find the letter. - He's just, he's totally lost it. Like, he lashes out at any critic that has anything negative to say. Like, he's decided that no critic will ever see a movie of his for free. Again, he's only gonna direct one more movie after the one he just finished and then he's retiring. He's basically, he basically lost a shit after Zack and Mary tanked. And cop out was awful. - I don't wanna get started on it, man. After making that Jay and Silent Bob movie, he just doesn't deserve anyone's respect. - I enjoyed "Strikes Back" as a slapstick comedy and I really like quirks too, actually. - Ooh, I hated that film. - I love it, I like mall rats. - Yeah, me too. I like mall rats, clerks, and chasing Amy and then after all that sort of slide. - Hold on, hold on, you guys all have to show us so I can read this. - All right. - This is from Cam. - Look how excited he is. - Yeah, it says the title of his email is called "Hitting My Wife Follow-Up." 'Cause we had talked about this. This is from the guy that said, punch me, faggot. This is the fall, he says, "Hey guys, I took your advice "and decided to try and spice up my sexual relationship "with my wife. "I never thought I would have to prepare to hit my wife." He says, "So in the middle of sex, "you repeated hit me, babe, hit me." So I did it, she pushed me off and screamed at me, "Why the fuck did you hit me?" Again, I was left confused, helped me. - Oh, he doesn't understand that this was a slang issue. She was saying, "Hit me, baby, one more time." - Oh my god, I hate you saying that right now. - But, you know, not hit like with fists. - Yeah, but previously she said, punch me. - Faggot. - Yes. - Wait, wait, punch me. - Faggot. - Faggot. - It wasn't hit me. - No, punch me. - Oh, that's different. - Well, we've got his email. Why don't you do a quick search and we can-- - I mean, there's gotten-- - This goes to rest. - The circuits across somewhere, if you punched her and she-- - Yeah, her circuits are very clearly crossed. - You probably should probably have a conversation about her or what-- - Yeah, by the way. - What do you want? - What do you-- you don't need to ask us rope. You need to ask your right. What the fuck do you want me to do? - Yeah, I think that conversation is a very important part of their relationship. - Yes, but if you're confused whether or not you should punch your wife, it's time for talk. - Yeah, maybe counseling. - Yeah, I just thought that was funny. I just love that it's hitting my wife follow up. (laughs) - Like, how many people-- - Bring another one tomorrow. It's gonna be like, yeah, I knock her out. - Well, no, 'cause this podcast won't go up until like Friday. - Oh Lord. - I'm getting my wife follow up. - Beating my spouse. Addendum. - Yeah, the best part is that it's his wife, not his girlfriend. - They've been together for a long time, too, apparently. - Yeah. (laughs) Okay. Let's see, one relationship letter. Oh fuck, nevermind, this guy is dumb. Okay, there we go, there's the actual one. Some people forget to sign their letter, so they send a second email like two minutes later. It's like, sign me. - By the way, the name is John. - Okay, Adam writes in. - John, you're an idiot. - I'm gonna try and, this is kind of a long one, so. - You're gonna selectively edit. - Yeah, I was dating girl for 10 months over the internet, and I went and saw her for once for a week in September. Now about three months ago, she said, I said she was fat. Now I know that's not something you say to a girl, and I don't know why I did, but after I said it, I burst into tears and apologized because I really loved this girl. This is getting good. Now fast forward, about three months, I flew out there to spend the holidays with her and her family, and when I got there, it just didn't seem like she loved me anymore, so I confronted her. She said we would talk about after I got home from school. So. - Oh, wait, oh God. - After he leaves. - So I waited, and when she got home from school, she came upstairs and I asked her, do you even love me anymore? She said, I just don't love you anymore. I don't wanna be just friends, and I want some time to think about things. I'm sorry to laugh at you. - It sounds like she's had plenty of time to think about things. - Okay, now I was so upset that I bought a ticket back home that night to leave tomorrow morning, and throughout the night, her and her mother and little brother wanted me to stay, but I said I couldn't stay because I went out there to get some love and affection from the woman I loved, and I wasn't getting any of that, and it would have been torture for me. Now I must have, now I know I must have broken her heart when I called her fat, and I know what I said was wrong and fucked up, and I'm really sorry about it, but I don't think that's the only reason she broke up with me, because she's been talking to a lesbian at her school, and now she happens to be dating that lesbian. Go figure. - I've been in the situation so far to this, not quite the same. - Now my question for you is, should I have stayed over the holidays with her, and should I even consider dating this girl again, if I got the chance to, now you should move the fuck on. - Yeah, I mean I don't think that there's, if you're not gonna be able to, if someone says, let's just be friends, and you just don't see that ever happening, just get out of there. - Yeah, God. First of all, the way this started was idiotic. - Over the internet first, and. - Across the country. - Right. - Second of all, she, did you say how old he is? - No. - She sounds young, very young. - What was retarded about the way it started? - Getting involved over the internet, with someone who lives on the other side of the country from you is not the greatest idea. I think it's an awful idea, and I think that the calling her fat thing was dumb, but that is like the smallest problem. - Kind of random, actually. - This is just not, I mean it already didn't end well, it ended, let it go. - Yep. - Speaking of girls, so at this New Year's Eve party I went to, this group of girls showed up. - Is that the one with Edar analyst Eric Brodvik? - No, well, he was there, but this was a party that I went to randomly with him. Anyway, this group of girls showed up, right, and I just look over, you know, I glance, whatever. - You pine. - And then one of the girls walks past me, and she's very attractive, and then she looked me right in the eye, and she's walking by me, like, you know, if a girl looks at you like that, you know, she's like, she's into you, right? Why would she be looking at you in the eye? And she's walking by you. - She could think you look like someone. - It's certainly a possibility. - She could think you look like someone else she knows, and she's, you know, she could be drunk. - Yep, anyway. So the whole, for about an hour, this was like a 2 a.m. The whole time I was scheming of ways I could talk to her without it being totally obvious that I just wanted to talk to her, you know, I wanted to make it smooth, and the whole time she would go talk to someone else, she's talking with her friend. And then I ended up waiting too long, and she left. - I wish that shaking my head translated well over the radio. - Never got a chance to talk to her. - What lesson did you learn from this story? - I should probably talk to her when I wanted to. - Yes, don't think about it. Just do it, like night. - That was a relationship letter of its own. - Girls are okay with it if you want to talk to them. - Yeah, it's fine if she didn't like me, but now the thought of not knowing sucks. - I mean, honestly-- - I'll never see her again either. - If the only reason a girl would be interested in talking to you is because they weren't sure if you wanted to talk to them, or you were just blowing them off, that's not-- - Yeah, it's depressing to just grow, it's actually like my type of girl. - So she made more than you. - She's a thin, slender brunette, dark eyes. - That's just physical characteristics, right? - Yeah, but that's initially, that was, you know, I go to parties all the time with girls, I'm like eh. - All I can say is there are a lot of attractive women in this city, and that doesn't really mean anything. - It's rare for me to get that excited about a girl where I'm like thinking of how I'm gonna talk to this girl. - Yeah, you should just talk to her. - You're a pretty eccentric guy, and I think that just being direct is your best bet because you being the idiosyncratic gentleman that you are, plus being aloof is not Spanish fly. - Well, it's like I wasn't preparing to talk to the hot female at this party, so I kind of, you know, I wasn't, I didn't shave, I wasn't wearing-- - Why do you prepare to talk to hot females at a party? - I wasn't, going out the night, I wasn't thinking I was gonna be at a party with-- - Yeah, but isn't it better to show her what you're actually like, you're not like the made up fake version. - Kinda be like, yeah, hi, my name's Jim Riley, I typically don't look like this. - No, you don't want to say that? She typically doesn't look like that, probably. - Yeah, she's like her made up, so-- - You're looking good though, so I'm saying. - Well, if you're out there, it's Jim Riley. - I'm not gonna lie, I spent-- - You can follow Jim on Twitter to get ahold of him. - @JimRiley. - @JimRiley. - @JimRiley. - I spent a better part of the next day, looking on Facebook, trying to like, is there a way I get like-- - Maybe you should check in on Four Square? - No, it's over, it's over. - Well, you gotta find out who you know at that party that might know her. - Yeah, that's true, that's true. You gotta do some-- - But I think at this point I should just let it go. - This is so fucking high school. - Basically, yeah, everything you're doing is what the former version of myself who didn't know how to get girlfriends would have done and you just got to not do that stuff. - I'm just too picky. - Too picky. - Yes. - That's exactly what I would have said to me. You gotta-- - I saw this from going up to the end. - I thought just go talk to people. - Call yourself picky is a good way to avoid having to take any risks. I'm gonna wait, I don't want just anything, I want it to be perfect. - Sometimes I have, I don't know. - Which means really I'm never gonna try because nothing will ever be perfect. - The best, I would say lean on the side of gathering more experience. Like-- - Is that a roundabout way? - Well it's not a problem, I don't have-- - It's not a problem, I don't have-- - No, no, not even that, but like, talk to them. - Talking is good. - Talking is a step in the right direction. - I saw this on, I don't have a problem talking to girls, it's just the ones I really, really like. - You can-- - You know, you start to-- - Start off slow. - Try to like them less. - You start off slow, you know, makes sense smoke signals first and then bat your eyes and work up to talking. - So, hot girl who is at a party with Eric Breadvig, you can follow Jim at-- - It's called the Orange Tiles with the name of the party. - At Jim Riley, yeah. Spilled with two L's, no space, no space. And you can follow Arthur on Twitter, A-G-I-S. You can follow me at Chuff Money and you can follow Ryan at Ryan O'Donnell, right? With two N's and two L's? - That's right. - Yep, okay, you can send us your emails to letters@eat-sleep-game.com. - And the sister podcast, the all relationship advice is going through Jim Riley's future love life is oncoming, we'll have that up in the next month or so. - Yeah, on the initial episode of The Riley Factor. - Oh yes, yes. - Or The Riley Raped In, whichever you prefer. - No, no, that's an after hour podcast. - All right, thanks for listening. I thank you for coming out and as I send you out, remember to go with God and remember the demon soul songs. - Just talk to girls, no risk. ♪ But it's a good day to die, oh ♪ ♪ It was a good day to die, oh ♪ ♪ It's a good day to die, oh ♪ ♪ And it'll all be good buying by ♪ ♪ Mm, it's a good day to die, oh ♪ ♪ Mm, it's a good day to die, oh ♪ ♪ Mm, it's a good day to die, oh ♪ ♪ Mm, it's a good day to die, oh ♪ ♪ Mm, it's a good day to die, oh ♪ [ Silence ]