Rebel FM
Rebel FM Episode 83 - 11/05/10
Greetings! This week we're joined by IGN.com's Scott Bromley as we talk at length about our experiences with Kinect, Scott's boner for Pac-man Championship Edition DX, the sad state of 007 Bloodstone, and more, and close out with some letters. Gladiator Areola!
Since it's once again a new month, all of this week's music is straight from Amazon's $5.00 MP3 sale.
This week's music, in order of appearance:
Wolf Parade - What Did My Lover Say?
The Weepies - Hard to Please
Radiohead - High and Dry
(upbeat music) (upbeat music) (upbeat music) - Hello, and welcome to Rebel Film episode 83. Lucky 83. Lucky for the listeners because you are gonna be here in the Dulcet tones of Scott Bromley. - Oh, everyone just turned off their internet boosting device. - I'm Anthony Gallegos on your internet listening device. Also with me is Arthur Gies. - I am not looking as freshly fucked as Scott Bromley is right now, but. - And there's also Matt Changerine. - I am freshly fucked as that count. - Yeah. - Matt and I both got fucked. - You said you were gonna tell anyone about that. - You did. By far actually. - We got freshly fucked on the copy table. (laughing) - Thanks, fuck. - I'll do a good start. I'll do a good start. (laughing) - I just watched them get fucked on the copy table. - You prepared the copy table for us to fuck on? - It's true. I got all the instruments needed for fucking. - I tried to just eat my cheeseburger and not watch. (laughing) - It's 'cause you're jealous. - 'Cause Arthur was a meat male. - Yeah. (laughing) - So before we get into video games. - Uh oh. - Matt, tell us about your trip to DC. - Ah yes, I went to the ECA hired area five to film their rally out on the steps of the Supreme Court because the opening arguments were being heard in Schwarzenegger versus the EMA, which electronic merchants associations like that. - Yes, and if you're not familiar with this case, basically it's California's anti-violence and video game laws, you know, don't sell violent video games to minors type thing, but the language in it is particularly egregious when you're talking about things that involve First Amendment expression, which the EMA side of this case says that the California video game law limits the right to freedom of speech and freedom of expression. - They're basically saying it doesn't get the same rights as music or movies. - Exactly, that this law, because all it says is that anything, now I'm gonna blank on the language, but it says something like anything that's specifically outside the social norms are deviant. - Yeah, deviant. - Yeah, deviant, and it's like who defines what's deviant? And, you know, there is kind of a, you know, there's a big broad line. It's not gray, there's not a hard line between, it's not black and white, there's a big gray line in between the two about like things like pornography and the limits on content that you can expose children to and stuff like that, but this, the video game developers and creators are right to be concerned if this law actually gets upheld by the Supreme Court because basically it will limit the expression that developers can have when creating their entertainment products. - So, if people wanna see your film, Dreli, how would they do that? - Well, we're putting the video together now, it's probably gonna go up on the ECA's website in a couple weeks and we'll Twitter announce it and all that kind of stuff. I would actually, if you want like really good summaries of the arguments and everything, and if you're a gamer, this is a Supreme Court case that is going to affect you directly one way or the other and I highly suggest you pay attention to it. There was really good write-ups on Kotaku. Adam Sessler, I saw him out on the Supreme Court steps doing a video for g4tv.com where he kind of summarized the arguments and everything and gives you a really good breakdown of it. Of course, the ECA's website, theeca.com, they talk a lot about it and why this is a first amendment issue and not merely just protecting children from violent content kind of issue. And it's very important. In fact, I've even talked to game developers who say things like, well, if this law actually gets upheld, we're gonna have to not make our games and rate it anymore. We're gonna have to shoot for only T-rated games because the restrictions on the content would mean that potentially-- - There'd be a lot of red tape to go through. - There'd be a lot of red tape and retailers like Walmart could potentially not carry M-rated games anymore just like they don't carry AO-rated games. And that essentially-- - Or explicit lyric music. - Yeah, so that really kills the M-market for games. So it's an important issue. There's a lot of different aspects to it and both sides do have some compelling arguments but really games should just be protected like any other art form. - Also, the full transcript is available on IGA.com. - Yes, you should read it. (laughing) - A dog. - That was the more you know moment. That was why I just wanted to have that out of the way and Pimp work the area if I was doing. - Thanks for that. - What was the rally like outside the protesters with the like, and I saw a couple photos and it looked, it didn't really, it didn't really do anything for video game fans to have overweight Mario and Zelda outside protesting. - It was kind of anemic in the beginning but then towards the end of the arguments when all the people came out of the Supreme Court building there was a youth voter initiative or a youth voter rights group that was there that was also on this as a First Amendment issue and they sort of combined with the ECA rally. There was a class of students that showed up that I guess were coming simply because this was a First Amendment issue and they joined in the rally. So by the end of it, there was like maybe 30, 40 people there that were chanting free speech now and that kind of stuff and which actually I guess is a really good turn out for a Supreme Court rally. The Supreme Court rallies are usually only like 15 to 20 people max. And so it was slightly above average and the, but yeah, there was, there were some cosplayers there. - That's what I, those are the only photos of that in cringe. Those are the only photos that the media chose to display and I'm just thinking this is going to be the world's saddest packs competition outside. - That's not really fair to packs. - You know, but that's the thing is like cosplaying is more and more integrated with, you know, video games and gamer culture, it's not going away. - God, it shouldn't be. - I know, I mean, I wish, I wish the guys in the Mario and Zelda costumes would have just left it at home and put on a suit and be respectable adults and go out there. - Right, or clean laundry even. - Right, yeah. But I mean, there was both, because when we were there and we were interviewing people, we interviewed the Mario guy and we interviewed-- - Was he Italian? - Yes, he was, he, and he spoke in a fake Italian accent too. - He was in character. - I think this is awful. (laughing) - This is bullshit. (laughing) - We have to protect-- - Cut the suit off into games. (laughing) - I'm a not a worry. (laughing) All of my games are for everyone. - Mario support this. - But if I ever want to branch out and say to fuck, I want to be able to do that. - What if I want to fuck on a coffee table? (laughing) - When did Mario turn him into the count? - When he, Mario teaches county? - Apparently so. (laughing) - I don't know, we spoke to people from all walks of life. We spoke to a guy in a business suit, of course he was from the IGDA, and we spoke to a woman who was there for a class. She was clearly like in her mid to late 30s, and I think she was studying to become a lawyer or something like that. And we spoke to a dad who, his 15 year old kid was found out about the ECA petition, signed it, and then convinced his dad to bring him and his friend and his little sister to the rally, and they talked about rating systems and how they use them in the home and stuff like that. - Man, that is the world's most convincing little kid. - Exactly, yeah, it was pretty cool. So I mean-- - Had to bring his dad out 'cause his signature was null and void 'cause he was under 18. (laughing) - He actually told his dad, "Let's go see the Washington Monument." (laughing) "Hello, let's go over here and out." - They had signs and everything that the dad helped them make. He was just really proud that his kid was involved in something civic, you know? - Yeah, I was gonna say, yeah, he's like, "Ah, he's not doing drugs." - Yeah. (laughing) - So I mean, there was a cross-section of people there. The only person that was dressed up was Mario, you know? That was it. But of course, yeah, that is the one image. - That's the photo that went everywhere. - That's the photo that went everywhere. - That was actually a plant by Swartz Nigger to make them see them less ridiculous. - Yeah, that's fantastic. - Yeah, exactly. - 'Cause I'll look at the guy in the audio course. (laughing) - That'll be great. - So let's talk about video games. Video games that we played. Let's just talk about Connect and get it out. - Do we wanna start with Connect or do we wanna-- - Yeah, we can start with Connect. - Do we wanna start with Connect? - I don't wanna start with Connect, fuck you guys. - Well, I mean, there are some other games there. - I wanna start with Connect. - We can play Connect. - That's what everyone wants to hear, anyway. - It's true. - You haven't really played much Anthony. - No. - And I don't think, Matt, you've played anything since 'E3, right? - Uh-uh, not since 'E3. - Scott, on the other hand, has played quite a bit of a Connect. - Yeah, I know. I think I who never plays games, actually played the Black Connect. - And I have reviewed Connect Sports and that review is going up a few hours from when we're recording this. So we're actually gonna have to stop at some point so that Scott and I can make that show work. - Yeah. - So, Connect Sports is pretty fucking good, actually. - It works. - It works, yeah, that's the big surprise. Connect works. - Yeah, and like all the voice command stuff that we were all making fun of, like Xbox on. It really works. - Yeah, except for Xbox on, does not actually work. - Xbox on, doesn't, yeah, but-- - You can't turn on your 360 or turn it off with voice commands. - It works, it just requires a little initial setup, right? - It requires a little bit of conditions, right? - But once you get the conditions right, you can throw any voice at it and it'll recognize it. - What are the conditions right? What does that mean? - You have mood lighting. - I'm just saying, not even voices. I'm saying you need to make sure you have the right space. I think that's the biggest one for me. The space thing makes me sad. - Right. - And I was gonna say like is really how far away from the TV do you have to be? - Six feet. - Six feet. - Yeah, five or six feet. I actually played quite a bit of Connect Sports in my room and you've seen my room. - Yeah. - That's big. - No, it's not big. (laughing) I have luck putting Connect up on top of a standing speaker that was on top of a TV stand. It's about six feet up and angled a little bit left. - Was it? Oh, so it wasn't right behind your TV. - No, it wasn't centered. - It's not the type of thing that we can have. - I thought it had to be centered. - They recommend that it be centered and that's fine. It seemed to react just fine, off-centered. There might be situations where that's less so. And it certainly is more demanding that you be in the center of the play space than otherwise it might be, but it worked fine for me in that. And it being up higher actually gave me a little bit more distance between the sensor, which is what it wants. But yeah, it actually works pretty well in about six feet of space. If you have like three or four feet now, you're not gonna have enough room for it. - Yeah, if you're the kid who has the Xbox in your bedroom and your bedroom is the type that just fits your bed. - Yeah, if your room is like my TV, it's not gonna work. - Well, you'll be able to navigate stuff with the menus like because it can track your hands pretty well in a matter of while. - Oh, but you won't be able to be able to be a game sport. - But you will not be playing Connect Sports or Dance Central or Connect Ventures or pretty much anything else that's coming out right now with it that way. - You'll be voice chatting with Butterfly whatever that girl's name was. - Right, you can do that. - Have you downloaded the new dashboard? - Yeah, I had to. It wouldn't actually, it wouldn't work if you didn't work. - Correctly if you didn't have the new dashboard. - Makes sense. - So a few things. - A question, I just wanted to interrupt, is the dashboard like the way they always portrayed it where you can actually wave with your hand to go through or is it where you have to like move with the pointer and shit? - So you can't-- - To bring, there's the dashboard and there's the Connect Hub. - Okay. - So to bring up the Connect Hub, you say Xbox Connect. - Xbox Connect, which I trained it to do Arthur's-- - Again, the sound wave voice. - Do you totally work? - Is it all fast like they always showed with the hand movement? - No, so the way it works is there's like an arrow on either side of the screen and you move your hand over it and it kind of latches onto it and then you swipe. - See, it's not as fast as I want it to be. - It works pretty well. - If it's not faster than a room, I'm up though. - What's, but what's not there is Netflix. Netflix is not in the Connect Hub yet. - See, that's what I wanted. - Yeah, so there's no swiping through your queue, which is what we all expected there would be. I imagine they'll do it soon, but I don't know when they will, so that's something that's not there. - I wonder how it would recognize though, because like if you're hand, if you're swiping your hand back and forth really quick when you just be moving the screen left and right? - No, no, it doesn't work that way. - Yeah, like it locks to left and right and you swipe. And I'm pretty sure that if you're swiping, it can see that your arm is moving a certain way and Microsoft is actually, seems to have paid quite a bit of attention to the way that people's bodies move when it comes to controlling it. - It just seems like it E3 when they showed it like two years ago and they showed all the things that they wanted to do. I was like, "Should I want one of those for navigating?" But the navigating isn't up to where they showed. My whole reason for buying Connect at launch was that. And then when I actually got to play with it and it didn't do all the swiping right out the gate, I'm like, "Well, I can hold back for a couple of months." - Right, and then there are some other things like all the media playback features, like streaming from a PC, none of that is in the Connect Hub. So right now there's no voice control of media playback streaming from a local system. The only media playback stuff that they have is the Zoom Marketplace. The Zoom Marketplace doesn't support streaming from your PC yet, so all that awesome looking shit that they showed, none of that works for music that you own on your PC. It works for streaming stuff from Zoom. - Okay. - But other, I mean, general navigation of the dashboard with Connect works pretty well. For games, I've only spent a little bit of time with Connect Adventures. Scott, I don't know if you-- - I played it for, I don't know, one game. - Every time I see it, I'm like, "Who wants to do these?" - I was not terribly impressed with Connect Adventures. - It was, the whole time I was playing Connect Adventures, I was like, "Oh, cool." They finally brought the Nick Arcade experience home. - Kind of. - Yeah, to me, I just really don't get the logic of why was that the pack in? - I think that it's a good, easy proof of concept because it's not terribly complicated. - But if you're trying to get new people to buy and they're spending-- - I would pack sports. - If they're spending $300 for this thing, they're not gonna want to go out and spend another 50 on a game. - You know what? I think that they will. - What they're trying to do is-- - Well, they will because they dropped 300 bucks already. - Move comes with a sports game. Wii comes with a sports game. If you're gonna get one motion controller thing, if you're gonna get Connect or the Wii, it's gonna come down to which game you're gonna end up playing with. - I'm not sure that bears out though when you think of it in terms of market competition because GM comes out with their coupe, Toyota comes out with a coupe. - I honestly don't know that it's any particular game that's gonna sell Connect this Christmas. I think Connect-- - It's Oprah, yeah. - It's Oprah, yeah. - Connect is selling Connect this Christmas. - Right, I know. - Oprah's saying it's great, Ellen's saying it's great on the same episode that fucking Michelle Obama was on. - Right. - You ubiquitous advertising-- - Turtle from Hunter Raj. - It's just Connect Adventure seems like such a crappy game to have you turn it on and be like your first experience. - It's not, I wouldn't even go so far saying Connect Adventures is crappy. I think that-- - You can make a Yeti masturbate. - I think Connect Adventure is gonna work with a group of people for about an hour and a half. - And that's all you need. - And that's all you're gonna get at. - That's all that sold everyone on the Wii was playing it for an, I'm talking about grandma. - She saw it at your house, she played it for an hour and said, "Oh, I would love to take that home with me." And then she goes out and gets it and sets it up once-- - And the devious thing about Connect Adventures is that there are demos for several other games on there, specifically Connectables, Dance Central, and Connect Sports. - Right. - So it is the gateway drug to several other games that they're hoping you'll buy. - It just seems to me like the sports one, Connect Sports would be a better gateway drug. - I just don't think that there was enough to Connect Adventures to sell by itself and that's why some suit at Microsoft put it in the box. And again, it is easy to jump in to Connect Adventures because there's no, it's not terribly active, like grandma with her broken ass hip can probably do it. Maybe not totally well, but she can do a fucking diagonal line, she can do the village people, why? - But she cannot do Connect Sports. - She cannot fucking spike a volleyball in Connect Sports. - Connect Sports is legitimately exhausting and if you are overweight or do not get off the couch at all, you're gonna be red-faced and sweaty and you're gonna hate it. - Right, so originally, I thought about making the strap for my Connect Sports review. Fat America is not ready for Connect Sports. There are, I don't remember if we talked about this last week, there are activity indicators on the back of every Connect game that Connect Sports is very active. It is an extremely active game. I am very sore from playing it for a week, but I am less sore now than I was when I started. - That's the way exercise works. - Yeah, funny that. - Yeah, the first day we played it, I went home. - And it was just an agony. - I was like, "Ah, my arm is so sore from playing ping pong." (laughing) - No, it was boc, I don't know, we did it all the way up. - Yeah, we did everything. Connect Sports works really well and now that I can actually speak in a review context, Connect Sports is different than every other game that has been marketed in a similar capacity by virtue of the fact that you're interacting in a designated space in a 3D capacity with your entire body. - Oh, of course, not gonna not be. - I mean, but I mean, there's, yeah, the marketing thing is your body is the controller, blah, blah, blah. With Connect Sports, that really does feel like the case. And it's, I mean, I hate using boilerplate review language but it's a very compelling thing. Like, it's a very physically satisfying thing as well as a mentally satisfying thing to play Connect Sports. Track and Field is whatever, because I feel like an asshole doing it, more of an asshole than anything else because you're running in place and jumping in place. - Right. - And that is the most artificial thing in all of Connect Sports. But soccer, where you're sort of jumping left and right or forward and back and kicking. And when you realize, oh, wait, I've been kicking the same way over and over again. I can turn my hips or just kick a little bit or I can even kick with my other foot. Why the fuck haven't I been kicking with my other foot? - Right. - Once the possibilities start opening up, once you realize, oh, I really can do all this different stuff, it really, really clicks. - What sort of technical limitations did you run into at times? - Two player can get a little dicey. - Is also the problem with selling Connect, is playing it with multiple people once you get two people in the room. - Here's the thing I realized with Connect Sports is that the only game that's really there, there are actually two events in Connect Sports that are kind of a little boned for two player, which would be table tennis. - In boxing? - And no, not boxing, boxing worked fine. Yeah, once it was calibrated boxing worked fine. - I don't know, it's fun when I run in trouble with it. - Soccer was a problem, because with soccer, it's not you running down the field because there's not like 100 meters of fucking living room to run around. It's you get the ball, you pass and you guard, and then you kick goals and you block goals. With two player, if you're cooperative, you're kicking, you're passing to each person on the field. And there's not really any way to tell who's taking possession like player-wise until they get the ball. - What about, sorry, continue. - No, go ahead. - Now I was gonna say, what about like people walking in the background, like how, was that ended up being-- - No, once it's calibrated to your body. - It doesn't, it's not a problem. - Yeah, I was gonna say that would be a concern if it's like, especially 'cause it seems like the whole Connect atmosphere is going to be a party game thing. - Exactly. - Right, so you basically have to, for 30 seconds, be like, "Hey, everyone, be cool, be cool." - Yes, that's right. - And you know-- - Okay, it's there. All right, yeah. - It's remarkably hard to do that in an office with Scott Bromley, as a matter of fact, but-- - I like to step in and do the air jerk. - So the only camera limitation that you found that you told me about then was the dresses, right? Dresses? - Well, not just that, like if you step out of the thing, then occasionally it's gonna do something weird on screen, or it's gonna tell you that it can't see you and you need to step back in front. And then once you do, it automatically resumes. And yeah, I was playing it with a significant other. She was wearing an ankle ache dress and Connect was freaking the fuck out at what her legs were doing. - Right, do you think-- - Was Connect turned on? - Not yet. - I was having a-- - When the dress came off-- - I was having this conversation with one of our coworkers. You know, do you think that the menus, the way that they work in all of these games will stay, 'cause right now a lot of them is like, reach out your hand and let it count for like 30 seconds. I was gonna say, do you think at some point it'll be like just tap, tap, tap, instead of all these time things? - I don't know that it'll be tap. I think it'll be a shorter amount of time. I think Microsoft is pulling biometric data from people who are playing Connect to improve it. And once they see that we don't need this to be a three second timer to select something that they'll speed it up, or maybe they'll come up with faster ways. - So thank you for joining the Connect beta. - Right now holding my hand at a 45 degree and angle, touching a button for three seconds, it's way too long. I feel like it took way too long. My arm at a 45 degree angle holding it still. - For about five seconds. - While the circle is going, it's like, come on, let's go. I'm tired of holding my arm out like this. - Right, it certainly takes longer to pause a Connect game than it does any other game with a controller. - Right. - Just flat out. Maybe about twice the amount of time as it does to fumble with the we-mote and find the plus button. - Yeah, right, yeah. - I actually don't, I don't know where the start button is on move, I forget. But anyway, but they're, I mean, yeah, there are certain things that just are gonna take longer to do. Like navigating menus is gonna take longer, which they compensate for by making everything huge, everything simple to navigate. - There is no Xbox skip. - The thing is high. - And you know what is really a pain in the ass? Like there is no way that I'm seeing for most games to skip the fucking opening movies. - Yeah, you can't do that. - I was gonna say even Connectimals. It was like, Jesus, what point do you get to play the game? - I think Sonic Freerider's Jack found success just waving at the 360, which would skip it because that's how the 360 will find you again if it gets a little confused, usually just waving at it from a menu, it will start tracking you and then it'll pick you right back up again. - Yeah, it seems like a lot of these issues are like, yeah, they suck for now and a year no one will be talking about them. - Right. - No, I mean, it's just like the realities of the device. Like, yes, you need this much space because there are these things called the laws of physics. - Yeah, it just seems like these annoying little things that like are the same thing we experienced with a lot of Wii games at launch. Like all these games are gonna have you swing it to attack and you're like, no, that isn't fun. They'll figure out what's not fun with Connect or the Quest. - Well, I hope that the Wii isn't an indication of them figuring out what's not fun 'cause you still have to swing a goddamn Wii mode to attack in a lot of games and then it's fun. - Yeah, but most people have figured that out. - So anyway, Connect Sports is a lot of fun actually and there is quite a lot of skill involved in playing it well, especially at higher difficulties. I felt like Apollo Creed getting fucking murdered by Ivan Drogo on championship difficulty in table tennis. - And I felt like Forrest Gump in the table tennis on beginner, so kicking that computer's ass. - I mean, it's tuned at the beginning for a very casual audience, which makes sense because that is obviously who this is aimed at right away. But I think that for people who try it, they may well be kind of surprised at how deep it is. And yeah, I wanna keep playing it. - The most surprising thing about Connect Sports was all of the licensed music and T-Mobile ads. - Yeah, there's a lot of really gross T-Mobile sponsorship everywhere, like T-Mobile Volleyballs and T-Mobile Volleyballs. - Is that who's carrying Windows Phone 7? - I think T-Mobile does have Windows Phone 7, but it's not just them. But yeah, like hearing a Rihanna song or a Lady Gaga song or fucking James Brown or chariots of fire all over the place. Yes, they're fucking chariots of fire in the track and field events. - So there's footage of my avatar doing an airplane down the strip to fucking chariots of fire. - I thought the most fun I had is-- - Is doing the air jerk off motion. - The air jerk off motion, I know a replay is about to happen, so I immediately start air jerking off, so my avatar is celebrating my master, baby. - So, you know, it's good that you said that it's something you wanna keep playing, 'cause I think that's a question along the way. - That is a question, and I-- - I think there's been a lot of people like, well, you played it for review and you had fun, but is it the type of thing that, like, in a month from now, you could ever see yourself ever turning on again? - Okay, so I have played about nine hours of Connect Sports, I think, give or take, and I would like to play more. I don't feel like I've played as many of the minigames as I'd like to. I feel like table tennis on Champion is something that I really wanna play more of, because when Connect Sports really works, this is something I say in my review, you sort of forget that Connect Sports is there. Like, you stop thinking, oh, well, this is a fucking camera pointed at me, and this is a TV screen, you're like, that motherfucker tried to get one by me, and just crossed me up, now I'm gonna do a really hard serve and try to get one by her. - And then, that's also when the Connect records you doing it, and you're like, oh, I was way into this game, watching a playback. - Do you find that you over strain yourself in any way to make it like an extra hard thing? - That's a weird way. - Because there isn't, like, a ball that you're actually hitting. - Like, initially, you can, there's a learning curve, just physically playing it, where you're like, okay, well, I don't need to fling this as hard as I would if there was actually a fucking bowling ball in my hand. - Yeah, you kept out telling me not to. - Yeah, I told you, watching you play table tennis, that you were gonna hurt later, and I'm pretty sure I was right. - Well, I didn't hurt as much as I heard. - But for certain things, I mean, for table tennis, that maybe as simple as holding a fucking table tennis battle, which Scott did, and it worked perfectly fine. - Well, for me, it seems like that's part of the fun of it, though, is being able to make these sweeping motions, or, like, really large, hard motions, and have them actually result in the effect you would expect on screen. - They do want table tennis. Maybe you swing down really hard, and it'll hit the ball a lot harder. - 'Cause that was the thing that I always didn't like about, you know, like, we table tennis, is that, like, yeah, if you swung really hard, it would hit the ball really hard, but you could do the same thing just by flicking your wrist really hard so that the we-mote is moving fast. - You can't do that with 'cause it tracks your body. So, like, if you wanna do a really hard stroke in table tennis, you need to bring your arm across your body. It needs to know that that movement is happening. - Unless you're playing two-player. Unless you're playing two-player, in which case-- - In which case, I was just doing the we-mote, like, wrist, up and down, wrist flick, and I was hitting the ball back every time, right? - Was that, uh, that was cooperative, right? Or was that-- - No, it was competitive. - That was competitive. So, for, in that respect, it's a super huge bummer watching it do that, because in single-player, just watching it work, like, watching it track your body as you turn sideways to serve, or for anything else, like, when you're playing soccer, like, seeing you crouch down, or in volleyball, like, watching you throw up a ball and actually hit it, like, either you can do it underhand, you can do it overhand, you can spike a serve, like, all of that stuff is incredibly satisfying. And then to watch in multiplayer, which is how a lot of people are gonna experience this game, 'cause that is what Connect is. - And that's what they keep promoting. - Yeah, it's a fucking bummer. - So, is that like a pro-- So, that's a hardware thing, though. - I don't know if it's a hardware thing, because other games work just fine. That problem is not in volleyball. Like, flat out, like, the other character is moving normally while you were doing yours. - Isn't it like it can only do X amount of points of articulation? - I heard 40 points of articulation. - So, it splits those between the two people? - Right, I don't know, I just, I only noticed it in table tennis, and soccer is just obtuse. - So, what about an input lag? 'Cause, you know, I think you established yourself as an input lag whore over time. You are the guy that knows-- - There is definitely input lag, but the physicality of it masks it well enough for it not to be an issue. - Also, we confirmed that you cannot play Connect in a wheelchair. You cannot play Connect Soccer in a wheelchair. - Well, they don't miss it then. - We confirmed that you cannot play Connect in an office chair dickhead. And you were playing the soccer target game. - I think they said it along. - It didn't work. - I think they said it a long time ago that you and, I mean, you need to be able to stand. - Anyway, so I think, I mean, I think that Dance Central is probably gonna be a lot of people's killer app for Connect, and rightly so. - Yeah, 'cause that's the game that makes you look at least like a dude. - Dancing games are hugely popular right now, to begin with, and-- - I can't tell if you're being sarcastic. - No, they are. I mean, just Dance, you know, like I'm saying, so there already is an established transfer dance dance. - Right, I mean, it's, God, harmonics just designed that game so fucking well from a visual standpoint. Like, the intro movie is so goddamn slick and so sexy, and the character models look so fucking good. Like, the video you've seen is not a good indication of how that game looks. It looks so much better than you think, and on EZ, you can approximate the dances and it works, but I am more interested in Connect sports. - Yeah, I mean, I'm not, I mean, I don't, I can't see Arthur being like, you know what I wanna go home to do tonight? Dance? - I played it. - Just wanna dance. - I did play it a couple nights ago. I did play some Dance Central, and I did feel like an asshole. - I was gonna say, yeah, I can see myself doing it by myself or with my girlfriend, but other than that, probably not. I wouldn't wanna do that game in public. I wouldn't wanna do it in a party atmosphere unless everybody was drunk. - Connect sports, you will not feel like so much of an asshole playing it, but once it starts, once it shows you the recording of yourself, you will death and it'll be like an asshole. And also, it's the most unflattering picture of you that was ever taken. - Right, because you're never gonna-- - Oh, like it's kind of low. - Right, and you're never gonna have a decent expression on your face, you know? - Well, no, I'm talking like it makes you look like the 45 pounds heavier. - Well, I mean, you've pretty much gained 45 pounds. - Well, if there's anything we've learned is that Connect makes you fat. - Video chatting's gonna go really well. - What's funny is that Connect adventures, you can tell that the images that it takes a view are totally vertically stretched. - Is it really much thinner? - Is there the ability to video chat right now? - Yes, that is definitely. - That is the launch thing. - So is it the kind of thing where just like the stereoscopic camera just makes you look weird? - I have no idea. It's not video of you in Connect sports so much as it's a lot of very quick photos of you strung together, I think. That's the way it seems anyway, I could be wrong. - No, 'cause remember that video that we had to take down with me doing my air jerk ops? - We didn't take it down. - That video that exists of me doing my air jerk ops? - Yeah, you can upload any video that it takes to connectshare.com. - Oh, wow. - I don't know how to do this. - There's a lot of people jerking off. - I was really going at it with my airplane. - Although, a couple of days ago that website was not working very well and it was only working in fucking Internet Explorer. I don't know if they're gonna fix that or not, but knowing Microsoft, who knows? - Right. - That's gonna, it's probably exploding in a couple of hours. - Yeah, time square is god-damn ridiculous right now. - Closing thoughts are gonna act. It's fun, I feel a lot. - It fucking works. - It works. - I, when we talked about Connect after E3, I remember saying, "I think it's gonna be huge." And I would probably buy, I don't think I said I'd buy it. I said, "I would probably get one for free." And that would be cool and I'd use it for the interface stuff and not much else. I think that my mind has been changed also. I don't think I'm getting one for free and I do think I'm going to pay for one. - Yeah, I don't have the money for it. I'm not getting one. - You and I were the only ones who, who? - Right, in the IGN E3 War Room, as everyone else was laughing, hilariously, mock a lot of people. - You know, I think a lot of people thought it was going to be big. - They were laughing at mocking. - And Arthur and I just looked at each other and we're like, "Oh, they're gonna win." - And then they all, there were a number of fairly large boners for move. - Right, and we were saying to each other, like, "This is not for us. "This is for grandma. "This is for the people watching Oprah." And that's exactly what is happening. - Except, I feel like Connect Sports actually, I mean, Rare has made a fucking game. Like, it's not just a tech demo, it feels like a game. - And it is something that you can build a skill base around. - Yes. - I have no doubt that Connect will be a short-term success. But I just wonder how, what we will think of it in the year. That's what I wonder. - Yeah, me too. - I don't know. - Yeah, it just depends on whether or not they can have enough developers making cool games for it. - That's what it comes down to. - Yeah. - 'Cause for now there's-- - That's the Wii's problem. - Of the, like, 18 titles, or 14 titles, really seeing out the bet, like, not one of them. - I think the ecosystem of the Xbox 360 will make it easier for there to be good third-party Connect games simply. - I hope so. - Yeah, I hope so. - Because I don't, Microsoft has showed a market interest in helping third parties perform on its system. - What I'm super curious, actually, is I wanna see what Xbox Indies is gonna do with Connect. - Right. - They're gonna have access to it. - They can do, they can use it. - Oh, they can. - They can. - I wanna see what's gonna happen there, 'cause that's where all the really cool shit's gonna happen. - Let's see if you can find it in your dashboard. - Yeah, exactly, that's true, too. - The thing is that, yeah, that's the thing is like, you know, just having been burned by the Wii. It's like a year after the Wii was out, I was like, well, that was a mistake. - Right, I remember how excited you were for Red Steel. - Yeah, no, it's just like, it's like, I just wonder, it's like, this one, I'm like, I look at it and I'm like, I don't know, in a year. - Or it's still two, it's one. - Yeah. - You know, I really wanted to play Red Steel, too. I never did. - Everybody else, I have a copy of it. - Red Steel One was awful. - Everybody tells me that two is pretty good. - Except for Anthony, Anthony didn't like it. - Yeah, that was, I thought it was garbage. - That was garbage. I was throwing the trash. - I don't need to go out and check it. - I randomly find myself with an extra $150. I might pick one up, but chances are, I'm not gonna get a connect unless I magically get sent one. - I would only want it to play with like... - But there may end up one in your house. - There may. - And I don't know how many fucking connects you really need in one apartment. - Oh, you don't need one. - Yeah. - I don't know if I was a kid, man. It would be the greatest thing. - You still have the Nickelodeon license? - I don't know. - I want a Nick RK. - I feel like they do, 'cause they had a lot of luck with it, but... - It already exists. - I want a Nick RK. I want to fight the demon in the temple. - You want to double dare? Connects double dare. - I want them to make guts. - Maybe it's just because I finished the series and you said Nickelodeon's got, but like the first thing that I thought of like just now, I was like, how cool would it be if they had a, an Avatar game, Avatar the Last Airbender game? - Again, with the fucking... - That'd be cool. - Like you do all the airbending and waterbending moves, that'd be badass. - Yeah, and then you can actually like connect tails. - Man, this is the next Naruto game. Let's move the fuck on from this. - I see you. - So what other non-baby games do people would be playing? - I played Bloodstone. - Dab-dab-dab-dab. - That game is not good. - No. - The game is actually mediocre to... - What kind of game is it? - Was it an official IGN meh? - It was actually, it was an official meh via IGN AU. They have not had such great luck since leaving Microsoft. - It's like PGR 2. - Yeah, exactly. - PGR 3 was awesome. - PGR 3 was good. - Oh yeah, so it's nothing other than PGR. - Project Gotham 4 is the one that just tagged super bad. - And then it did. And then there was... - The Club. - The Club. Geometry Wars is like the best thing they've ever done. - Yeah, very cool. - Yeah, that wasn't. - So Bloodstone is a combination third cover-based, third-person shooter and driving game. - All the shooting looked at you and all the driving looked awesome. - Now I'm remembering it. - So imagine the shooting from Uncharted 1 with worse level design and a hack need, half-assed Mark & Execute feature from Splinter Cell Conviction. - Right, right. - And on normal and easy, the most aggressive auto-aim I've ever seen in the third-person shooter. (laughing) - So what you're saying? - How was the Mark & Execute hack need? That seems like a pretty easy thing to not spoil. - Okay, so the way that Mark & Execute works in Splinter Cell is you build them up and then you mark those guys and you hit a button and it kills them in order? - Right. - And then you can also mark people before you have those, before you have the Execute and kill someone and gain the ability to do it. The way it works in Bloodstone is you kill a guy and you get one and you hold down the left bumper and hit the trigger to kill a guy. So you can't mark a bunch of dudes and have him automatically shoot them. You have to shoot each one one at a time after you have the things. - That's annoying. - So it really minimizes the tactical potential of the ability. - Yeah, I was gonna say it's almost-- - But it makes it less of an auto kill too, I guess, is probably what they were thinking maybe. - Sort of? - Probably. - It also makes it less interesting. - Sounds a little bit like going into vats without the good stuff that vats has. - Kind of, yeah. And I also think that they did it because they're like, "Well, we can't just totally rip off everyone on notice." But I fucking noticed. - Right. - So did everyone else. - Everyone did, yeah. - So why not just rip it off? If it's done well in Splinter Cell, why not just rip it off? - Fucking Daniel Craig saying, panther over and over again. So when you're not doing market execute and on harder difficulties where the auto aim is not hyper aggressive, the targeting is very floaty, very slow, easy to overshoot with really weird acceleration of the stick. And dudes take way too many bullets, which is another thing it shares with the original Uncharted. - Right. It also sounds like something that it would share with like Perfect Dark Zero. - Yeah. - Which is not a comparison you ever want. - No, not really. No, not a good shooter. - Sorry, Che. The level design is not good. It's very cheap, it's very boring. It feels excessively padded out by long gunfights to mask how short the game actually is. - Little bit like Uncharted 1 again. - Was super long cutscenes? - Yeah, was super long, really, really terribly acted in animated cutscenes. - Oh God. - It looks like Judy Dench is wearing a Judy Dench Halloween mask. - It does. It looks like Judy Dench is wearing a barber bush Halloween mask. - It just looks like a lot of the faces have no normal mapping or something. - Well, no, it's got normal mapping. There's just no animation or articulation. Their mouth moves and nothing else does. - Right, like a puppeteer or like a puppet or something. - And they didn't bother putting like a lipstick texture on it. They just put red and then like the opacity like. - It's like Judy Dench had dental surgery and went to the Rocky Horror Picture Show. - Yeah, wow, weird. - And when you take Judy Dench and make her voice acting sound awful, that is punishable by fucking death. (laughing) That is Judy Dench. - I know, right? She is a dame. (laughing) - Exactly. And the script is so bad. The script is worse than the last few Pierce Brosnan Bond movies. And that's fucking bad. - That is bad. That's really bad. - And then the car sections are gorgeous for the most part, but they're full of really wonky hit detection. - Yeah, like if you, I was playing a driving section and I clipped a car. - And it'll just like totally spin you around and that will essentially fuck you to where you have to restart to a checkpoint. Whereas if I totally rear ended a car, I'd be fine. - You think the one thing that they would get right would be the driving? - You would then? - Well, if they didn't pull it off with Blur, I don't know that we really expected in Bloodstone. - I thought Blur was straight, I was okay. Blur was pretty good though. I had fun with Blur. - And worse than that is, so you have to stay within a certain distance of your target all the time. And if you fall behind too far, it'll kill you. - And I don't mean like in driving and in shooting or just in driving. - In driving, in driving. And a lot of these courses, because they are courses, they're extremely narrow, confined courses, will have instant death sections that there is literally no way to see coming. - That's fun. - So the only way you can know that is to die there and then remember, and then at the next one, die there and remember the first place you died and the second place you died and hopefully there won't be a third, but there will be. - Does it have good check points for that? - No, the check points are fucking atrocious. - Oh man. - They're almost non-existent. - Dude, I feel like if you have bad check points in a game, that's a true sign of amateur. - We have figured those out. - That is amateur hour, like major amateur hour. - And that's what it feels like a game. - Super Mario Brothers 1 figured out good check points. - Or Gears of War. - Gears of War has great check points. - Let's go with a cover based third person shooter from the last four years. - Gears of War, Gears of War 2. A bunch of other fucking games. - Yeah, Uncharted has great check points, you know? Like most of the time Uncharted 2 does. Uncharted 1, not so much. - Not so much. It's just, it feels like a shooter made by people who had never really made a shooter before and didn't wanna ask for advice. - Right. - Wait till I'm out, they made the club. - It feels like a shooter made by people who haven't made a shooter before. (laughing) - And still feel that way even if they've done it, you know? And if the driving sections feel like they weren't comfortable putting in instant fail stuff, but just figured they had to, it just seems like there are obstacles there to make it take you longer to finish the game. - Right. - Well. - So Bloodstone is-- - So you say definitely go buy this one. - Oh god. I actually, meanwhile, Goldeneye was made by the guys who fucking made Dead Space Extraction. - Goldeneye is really fun. - And now I kinda want to play Goldeneye. I wanna try it. - I wanna try it. - Who the fuck you? Who saw that coming? - I mean, I guess maybe with a classic controller. - Two fucking weeks in Bizarro World. - Right. - Where I'm enjoying the fucking Connect sports game and the next gen or current gen bomb game is fucking terrible and the Wii one is awesome and I am playing an awesome game in a franchise that is sucked for like 15 years. (laughing) - But you can't talk about it. - What the fuck is going on? - Thank you for talking about, yeah. I don't know. Our whole world has been turned upside down. - Redactic game is pretty good. - Dogs and cats living together. - That's awesome. - Mass hysteria. - That is one big twinkie. (laughing) - So yeah. - Anything else? - So not good. A lot of fallout. - Yeah. - Can I talk about my game in the century? - Yeah, let's talk about your game in the century. - Let's talk about Pac-Man Championship DX. - What? I don't even know what this is. - Scott just looks like you got fucked again. - It's the sequel to Pac-Man Championship edition. - Oh, okay, I miss understood what you said. - Pac-Man Champion has a release date now, man. - Does it remember 17th? - Oh, God, really? - Yes. - I love the championship edition. It was good. It was really good. - Wait till you play DX, my friend. - Really? - They have totally, just by virtue of a couple of mechanics, they've completely redefined Pac-Man. - It is-- - They did that last time. - No, this is the best Pac-Man game ever made. - Wow. - Pac-Man was already the best game ever made. - Yeah, the Pac-Man Championship edition-- - The greatest game of all time, just got better. - The championship, the first championship edition was my game of the decade. - It was fucking incredible. - 'Cause it was really good. - It's the one game that I can play over and over again and lose 10 hours in and I didn't even realize it. - It was basically a better paced Pac-Man. - Yes, this game, however, we are 10 years in in the new century, my game of the century. - It is not going to get better than this game. - With this game though, there's no point in ever going back and playing collectives edition. - There is no reason for me ever to play championship edition one. - So explain what has changed. - What has changed is there's this whole new mechanic where it's not just the four ghosts. They have a bunch of green sleeping ghosts all around the maze and no power pellets. So what you do is you run past the ghosts and you wake them up and they instantly follow you in a conga line. As you continue going around the maze, eating all the dots to get the fruit to open up a different side of the maze. Now you get this huge line, huge line of ghosts going around the entire maze and then they'll throw you a power pellet. - That's okay, that's not true. They will throw you, they're power pellets. They will let you get power pellets when there's only a few ghosts on the screen but it's never in your best interest score wise to do it. - Yes. - So what you do is you get this huge conga line going and then you hit the power pellet and you just turn around and since they're all following you the whole time, they're all like there's 30 ghosts lined up behind you and Arthur's seen me do it. I will actually do an entire lap around the maze filled with nothing but ghosts. - So is it still played like the original Pac-Man in the sense that you can do board after board after board? - It's not board after board after board. There is a time limit. - There's a time limit? Like there was in championship edition. So it's not about getting through a bunch of boards. - It is because the higher your boards get, the more ghosts you'll have behind you, the higher point value, the fruit will pass. - Basically the more-- - You're trying to get to the count of seconds. - You're clearing sections of board so it will fill out more sections of board with more pellets to eat. - Right, but it's the same board the whole time. - Yes. - Well, it's not the same board. - It's the same layout. It's the same board. - Same layout every time. - It just populates with new shoes. - But I'm saying it's not like the old Pac-Man where you were going through like level 15, level 16. - And it was the same board. - No, you will never clear all the pellets. It just keeps, every time you eat a piece of fruit, it puts new pellets on the board. - Okay, it just cycles through the same, I don't know. - So not only-- - It's just score attack. It's like hardcore, hardcore, score attack. - Which is why it's championship edition. - And there's a whole new mechanic where there's a bomb. So if the ghosts are gonna fucking kill you, you hit the trigger, which is a bomb, and it throws all of them back into the box. - Meanwhile, every time you eat a ghost, it increases the speed of the game. So the game gets faster and faster. And now, if you get close to a ghost, you can do the thing that you can do in championship edition, which is how I would play-- - Where you could push against the edge, yeah. - Where you would push against the edge, but you would hit pause, and you would hit pause rapidly, and move the controller back and forth to throw them off their game. - Really? - This was something, this is like-- - Weird, that's some high level fucking championship-- - How does this is like hardcore people who play championship edition? - How do you throw them off their game though? I mean, they're right behind you, and you're pushing against the wiggling. - When you change your direction in Pac-Man, the ghosts eyes follow you. Depending on which ghost it is, each ghost has their own pattern. So you can fool them by dodging left and then going right really quickly if you're doing the whole pause bullet time stuff. - And now instead-- - Now it's built into the game. So if a ghost gets close to you, the entire game slows down, so you can do the back and forth thing and get out of a tight squeeze. - Awesome. - So you'll just be cruising through the game and you'll hit a ghost going the opposite direction 'cause the same four ghosts will be, they'll be on the map but they won't be sleeping so they'll be chasing you. And if they get into the conga line, they join it and their eyeballs go back in and they spawn a new one. So they'll be all over the map. And if you come against one, you can throw it off and go down an alley. But if you don't, they can still kill you. - So to the ghosts that aren't the other four, do they not have the same AI? - No they do. Once you pass them, they turn into a particular colored ghost. - What, no, no, they turn into a rainbow ghost that'll just conga line you. They'll follow you. - Oh that's right, they do like, they are just sort of linked together. - Yeah. - Oh they're linked together. - They're almost like a tail following you but you have to keep going otherwise you can stop, they'll catch up. - And so like one partial strategy is to, and to increase your combo when you get a pellet is to get rid of the normal ghosts that are chasing you by adding them to the conga line. - Yes. - And then they go back and create a new one. - I will pass the other ghosts to get them into the conga line. - Right. - Then they go back up to the box and get them back in when they're coming out. - Because as you eat a ghost, like the first one is 200, the second is 400, 800. - Exactly, yeah. - But once you get to 3,200 it stays there. - Yeah, but if you have a whole bunch that are all 3,200, then that's how you get your mega. - So if you use a bomb, the game slows down. And your multiplier goes down. - Yeah because as you're going faster and faster, the points on the pellets go from 10, all the way up to 100, use the bomb, it'll knock them down to 60 points of pellets out of 100. - And if you die, the game slows down and your multiplier goes away? - Yeah, completely disappears, right? So you have to start all over. - So it's the risk versus reward thing. - Yeah, and I got into some pretty hardcore chances with that game. (laughing) It was very good. - It was coming after you snapping their fingers in your face. - No, it had to stay focused on the screen. It was my crack. - Nice. - I love championship edition. - Definitely this year's Geometry Wars. - Very cool. - It is, it's my game in the century. (laughing) And we're 10 years in and I know that the, sorry video game designers just give up. It's over. - The next 90 years will be pointless. - Yep. - Pretty much. - Scott's just gonna go kill the creator Pac-Man now so he doesn't do anything ever again. (laughing) - It's like when they invented a stick hoop. Toys will never get better than that. - It's just, it's a really interesting exercise in how adding one or two very well developed mechanics can completely change the way you play a game. - Well, that's why everybody loved championship edition so much because it did the same thing. It just added a few new ideas and a few different mechanics and people are like, this is fucking the best Pac-Man ever. - But, and I also did play it with the new Xbox controller. - Oh, the, yeah. - The one, the one, the one, the silver one that's supposed to be better. - So, he made, did, he made it the sale? Of that controller for $49 or whatever with a playing charge kit. And so, a bunch of people went online including our own Sam Clayborn and ordered it and they shipped it right away. - Whoops. - Yeah. So, we got one of those in the office. - Are we allowed to talk about it? - I don't see why not. - Yeah. - It's out in the wild. We didn't, we bought it, yeah. - We bought it, yeah. - It doesn't work. - No, it doesn't work in fucking Pac-Man championship. - Yes. - Oh. - But you know what, nothing worked in Pac-Man championship. - But it should work, you know, it should, Pac-Man-- - What? - No, we didn't play it in game. - Why would this controller not work? - 'Cause it's a four, it's a four directional D-pad. It should be perfect for Pac-Man. But every time you would push up, it would go right. - Right. - Every time you're saying is they didn't actually fix the D-pad thing. - No, no. What he's saying is it doesn't work Pac-Man because he can, no 360 controllers D-pad including the fucking Street Fighter 4 fight pad works correctly with Pac-Man championship edition. - This is the game like a D-pad is designed for. - But if it's only-- - Fighting games are the games that controllers design for. - But I'm saying it only has, wait, yes. - I was saying like if it's only a four direction D-pad though, then how do you do the like-- - How do you fuck up four directions? I don't know, Microsoft figured it out. - No, that, but I was gonna say like-- - It's a eight direction pad. The current pad is only four directions. - Right, but I'm saying like if the current pad has four directions then you wouldn't want that for championship edition because you couldn't do the pushing yourself against a wall to accelerate. - Does it make you accelerate? - It basically, the only thing it's really supposed to do is to allow cleaner diagonal movement and cleaner horizontal and vertical movement. - Oh, so it's not, so when you say it's four direction, it is four direction but it'll still interpret a diagonal. - It doesn't have-- - I thought you were saying that-- - The existing 360 I think only has like four points of contact or something like that. So it really doesn't detect diagonals well and sometimes it just fudges and gets messy. - Right. - The new one is supposed to fix that and according to Mark Ryan Sally, the head of IGN guides who is also an incredibly obsessive fighting game purist, he says that the D-pad rivals the D-pad on the PlayStation controller. - Okay, I thought you were saying that it is-- - It just didn't work for Pac-Man, I didn't work for Pac-Man. - Right, it didn't work for Pac-Man. - I've never played fighting games on that. - Which is shitty, I don't know what the fuck is going on with Pac-Man. - Right, I thought you were saying that like this new D-pad only worked in four directions, you couldn't do that. - No, no, it's designed for fighting games. - Gotcha. - Basically. It's really weird too, the way it turns. Like you literally like turn the directional pad 90 degrees and it pops out. - Right, yeah, I've seen that. - And then you turn it back and it pops back into the controller. - It's like wrecking players. - Right. - Kind of. - Like that Fisherman player. - I don't know that I don't think I would buy one, but. - Funky cool, Medina. - Let's talk about games that aren't rip off so things made in the 80s. - Ripful. - Rip off. - Spiritual successors dick. - Well, you want to talk about Drop 7? - Yeah, let's talk about Drop 7. - That's a fucking Abacus game. - No, but really, Scott played some Donkey Kong returns. - Oh, y'all, Kedong. - I played that last week. I enjoyed it. - I enjoyed it too. I played it. - I look at it and it looks like the Super Nintendo one, which is awesome. - Which is awesome. - Yeah. - It's never into that one, but I really understand that this one, it just felt kind of soulless. - I don't know if I didn't know how to do it or not. - I'd never been to collect a Thon platformers. - I like those. - Except for Psychonauts. - I don't know if I was playing it wrong. - Psychonauts get some fucking pads. - You can't really use ditty. - You can, oh no, not in single player, no. - Yeah, not in single player, yeah. So I was trying to switch between the two of them. - Right, no, it's just that he gets on your back. - On your back with a down hack, yeah. - Can I make a quick correction? - Yes. - Earlier I talked about the demos that come with Connect Adventures. It's actually a dance central, your shape, fitness, and joy ride. - I would say your shape, fitness of all, by the way, has one of the coolest interfaces I've seen in the game in a long time. - I have heard that Fran is actually a little underwhelmed with it though. - Oh, I'm saying the game itself is-- - Damn, the game itself-- - It doesn't pick up push ups or sit ups. - Well, the game itself might suck. - Well, Fran is five feet tall, of course, it's not gonna pop up. (laughing) - I don't know, but when I was watching the game itself might suck, but I'm saying that just the interface of it, like the way the menu is looking, everything is like-- - I am real, real, real interested and active 2.0. - I'm not interested in using video games to help me work out. - I am. - You know, I was surprised. I was walking to the beach the other night with my girlfriend and I was gay. - I mean, totally, totally. We were being creepy stalkers and looking in windows as we were walking. There was a surprising amount of people playing Wii Fit. - Really? - Surprising amount of people who were legitimately doing this as their exercise routine. - Well, when you learn how many it's sold, I guess it just makes sense, right? - I had no idea that so many people were playing this game. - EA Sports Active was a huge seller for EA. - Yeah, so if walking down the street to the beach there's any indication of people working out then, yeah. I guess they're still using it. - Yeah, Wii Fit is another one of those reached the Oprah masses type thing. Even my mom was like, "I heard about this, Wii Fit." And I was like, "Oh, whoa." (laughing) - At what point do you expect your parents to ask you about Connect? - They're already asking me about-- - After it's out. - They haven't asked me about Connect, they've asked me about the 3D-- - My parents don't really watch daytime television, so-- - Yeah, 'cause they have jobs. - Yeah, exactly. (laughing) - Right, but I mean, it's also been on Good Morning America, CBS Evening News. - They also have jobs. - Yeah, my parents don't like it. - CBS Evening News on a fucking Sunday afternoon. Like the 60 Minutes pre-show slot. - Your parents don't watch a lot of news. - Yeah, they don't watch a lot of news. - No, his dad is Mexican. (laughing) - I think though, my dad will ask me about it 'cause they'll see some Navy guy using it. And my mom will maybe ask me about it 'cause children under school are talking about it. - What Navy dude is using Connect? - Oh, I mean, dude, video games are hugely popular-- - Oh, I was like trying to think of a show featuring a Navy dude. - Oh yeah, when my dad works on a Navy base, so I could see the guys on the base, like using it. - Yeah, yeah. - They'll be talking about it. Maybe not though, because Call of Duty comes out next week and that's all they're talking about, so. But let's see, what else? What have you been playing, Matt? - I finally got to majorly dive in to fall out. So I've been playing quite a bit of that. - How about we take a break? - How about no, Matt, tell us about fall out. (laughing) - No, how about we take a break? - We take a break. - We take a break. - It's a couple of us actually have something we had to take care of, and then we come back and talk about fall out. - I'll take care of you. - Promise? - We have jobs. (laughing) - All right, we'll be right back. ♪ When I took my lover's say ♪ ♪ When she was driving with you ♪ ♪ I could not see her face ♪ ♪ From my new bed ♪ ♪ I don't think I should be sorry ♪ ♪ Four things I do in your dreams ♪ ♪ Just think about the tumblers ♪ ♪ Tumblers ♪ ♪ Tumblers ♪ ♪ Down ♪ (upbeat music) - And we're back. In what was mere seconds to you? We're back in your dreams. Matt was playing fall out three. - Yeah. - Fall out three in existence. - Yeah, exactly. - Yeah, whatever. Fall out three new Vegas. - Fall out three new fall out three. (laughing) - I haven't actually got into new Vegas. I just got to the part that's just outside of new Vegas. There's actually quite a bit of game before you get to that point. - Oh yeah, I haven't gotten the biggest yet. - Yeah. - And I've played like five or six hours already. - Yeah, exactly. - If you're just following with the storyline and doing side quests as you're going through the main storyline, it can take you a while to get there. - Of course, you could just walk straight there if you wanted to, but I don't know. I've been kind of purposefully putting it off 'cause I figure that's probably going to be the coolest part of the game. And I just haven't got there yet, but. - How long would it take you to actually walk there? - To walk to new Vegas, I don't know. 10 minutes maybe, 15 minutes, depending on how many monsters you run into from the beginning of the game. Yeah, it wouldn't be hard at all. I do find myself actually using fast travel a lot more in this than I did in fall out three and fall out three. I would like just walk from point A to point B a lot just 'cause I was like, I just want to see what happens. But I feel like in New Vegas, most of the time, I don't want shit to happen. I just want to get to my destination and do the next thing. - 'Cause a lot of the world feels like the desert's a tent to eat or something. - Also in New Vegas, it's all the desert. - Yeah, and there's a lot more landmarks and stuff in the DC, Capitol Wasteland. - Yeah, that makes sense. - But I'm enjoying it. I think I actually like the plot line better than in fall out three. The story is pretty fun so far. And I think it's just because of all, you get the sense that there's all these different factions happening and because it's supposed to be set 50 or 100 years or whatever after the events of fall out three, there are things like, oh, fresh water that's actually fresh, you know, and there's a little bit of plant life. Like the world is like just starting to come back and that kind of thing. So there's a little bit more, Arthur just wanted to say shit. - No, it's just a work thing, no, continue. - So there's, it feels like with the different factions and everything that there's just a lot more happening to the humans and with the humans, whereas I think events and people and situations felt a lot more disjointed and isolated in fall out three than they do in New Vegas. In New Vegas, I really feel like because of the factions, if I'm doing something somewhere else in the world, it really is affecting me and affecting other things elsewhere in the world. Even if it's just these people hate me, these people like me. And yeah, sort of like Arthur, right away, I was like, fuck the Legion. I'm just gonna start killing all of them that I run into. - Yep. - And I got the first companion, at least my first companion, which is Boone. Yeah, he's awesome. I love his sniper rifle, it's great. And I've been playing on hardcore mode this whole time and I enjoy it. - Yeah. - I thought it would annoy me and piss me off having ammo have weight, but it really doesn't weigh all that much. And since your companion can be like a pack rat, it's a pack animal, it's totally no, it's not an issue at all. - What about the water and stuff? - The water stuff is cool. It's like, I don't know, it's like, if you had asked me before I started playing this, if I would play like that, I'd be like, no, that's the most annoying game design decision ever. Why would I wanna do that to myself? But here I am playing it and I'm like, oh, well, I think it's because it's not overly burdensome. It takes a long time before you start to get dehydrated or hungry or whatever, and you can solve it pretty quick, just by like, using a few things in your inventory. I always just, and I never have a problem with running out of food, 'cause I'm always running across like iguana bits or something somewhere. And it's almost a little bit like resource management, which is something that I think I actually enjoy in games because you know, I'll play a game like Civilization or something and I like having lots of different resources to keep track of. - Yeah. - And it's a little bit like that. It's a little bit like the Sims too, you know, like where you just have a lot of different meters that need to be in their optimal situation at all times. So in contrast to my original thoughts in that these mechanics would be annoying, I actually find them enjoyable, and it puts me in the world that much more effectively. Like for like this, now when I get, when I find like a jar of pure water, and it tells me that if I pick it up, I'm gonna, I'm gonna be stealing from somebody. I honestly go like, hmm, I could really use this jar of pure water, it's like, do I really could, maybe I should take the karma hit and just steal this. But that also reminds me of one of my biggest annoyances is that yeah, the Legion are my enemies and I'll walk into a camp and they'll start attacking me right away and I'll kill every Legionnaire in the camp. And I'll walk up to one of their foot lockers and I'll still get a karma loss if I take something out of their foot. - Well with them, specifically. - Well no, it doesn't say like karma lost with Caesar's Legion, it just says karma lost. - It doesn't say that, but you're, it's just a faction based karma from what I understand. - There's no overall karma, there's only faction based karma. - Oh okay, 'cause this entire time I haven't been, I haven't been taking stuff from the Legion's camp 'cause I don't wanna like lower my karma. - No, you just do that with them and just lowers your standing with them. It's much more or less karma, it seems than it is standing. - Right, I mean, there is karma in the game, I'm realizing there is good and evil. - Right. - But then there's also faction karma. - Yeah, what they did is they taught, basically instead of saying you've lost reputation, they just say karma. - Right. - Like 'cause stealing from the Legion, I don't think it's ever considered bad. - Right, but it does say karma lost, so I thought it was still bad. Like oh, this game is judging that all standing is bad all the time, no matter what. - I honestly just think it was lazy because I've had a ton of bad karma for like killing boomers and killing Legion and I am a like the salvation of the waste or whatever, like my picture is Jesus. (laughing) - Right. (laughing) - I found, and I found like in Fallout 3, I was all science in energy weapons and medicine. And in this one, I've been going total gunslinger. - Yeah, I play as a gunslinger, one handed guns and all that. - Which is kind of funny 'cause you find energy weapons way faster in this than you do in Fallout 3. - Yeah, you do, you really do. But I'm, I have my repair up really high and I haven't decided, I haven't taken the perk yet, I haven't decided whether I wanna go like one handed or rifles like lever action, you know, which of those two perks that I wanna choose. I was thinking maybe I might choose both at some point if I can get high enough level. But I have chosen the black widow and the femme fatale 'cause my character's female perks. And that's fun 'cause you do run across like some dialogue options that you wouldn't otherwise. - I didn't know that did dialogue options. I thought it was just about killing. - No, it is a, well, and that's the thing is that like it's actually better than Fallout 3's version of those perks 'cause in Fallout 3 if you took, if you take the black widow perk, all it is is occasional dialogue options. This one actually gives you combat bonuses versus men and women, so it works, it's cool. I'm having fun with it. I expect to play a lot more of it, I don't know. It sounds like Arthur and I are playing very similar characters with. - I think a lot of people are. - With the guns and with the stealth and stuff like that. - Well, they sort of like, it almost is like they push you a little bit in that direction because you find cowboy repeaters all over the place. And if you have a high repair skill like I do, you always want guns that you're gonna be able to repair with other guns you find in the field. So it seems to work out that way a lot. And I've got my stealth up kind of high. I haven't run, I've noticed that like I can have, I can be stealthed and around a corner. And the people that are following me can be like right in the enemy's faces and they won't see them. So that's good. Because since you can't control their pathing, you don't want them to reveal you. - Although they totally can. - They totally can? - Yeah, I mean, I tried to-- - I've seen Arthur's dog reveal him in his game. - Oh, wow. - Yeah, I don't have a dog. - Oh, I'm confusing people. (laughing) Anyways. - Well, it hasn't been an issue for me. I tested it out a couple times and Boone was standing like right next to this dude and it wasn't revealing us. So I wonder if it maybe it's just flaky. I'm not sure. Arthur, what are you even playing? - We already talked about this. - We talked about Connect Sports. - And then I said I've been playing Bloodstone. - And Bloodstone. - And Bloodstone. - Yeah. - I also played-- - You're taking a nap. - No, I'm paying attention to this conversation. - Earlier today, I got a review code for Hoard, which I talked about, it was a game that I played at PAX. It's not Hoard like H-O-R-D-E, it's Hoard like H-O-A-R-D. So like a Hoard of Gold. - And more Hoarders on AMC. - Yes. - Right. - Which I've watched some on Netflix Dreaming. That shit's fucking creepy. - Especially when you have an Ant who's won. - Oh wow. - Oh wow. - But it's Hoard is a pretty cool game so far. - I think it's a really cool game. It's just they've done such a poor job of promoting it whatsoever. - Yeah, yeah. Well, I think it's because they're handling their own PR too. It's not handled through like Sony's PR machine at all. It seems like it's their own. And it's really cool. Like I talked about it a little bit a couple months ago after PAX, but if people don't know about it, it kind of has, it's a top-down thing. Kind of like a tabletop game, you know? And then it's sort of like a real-time strategy game is happening around you. And you play a dragon and your goal is to go and destroy towns. And as you destroy towns and like carts that are trading between the towns and carrying gold between them, you basically you just attack with your fire breath and destroy the towns, gather the gold, bring it back to your hoard, and you're trying to build the largest Hoard in like 10 minutes on a map. And it has single-player modes, which are just like, gather as much treasure as possible. It has multiplayer competitive modes and multiplayer cooperative modes. And it has like cool little features, like castles will build up and knights will come after you and try to kill you. The castles will occasionally release a princess and you could kidnap the princess. And if you can keep it in your hoard long enough without a knight coming to rescue it, then you ransom it off for a big bonus. - It's really hard to explain because it is really nuanced. A lot of the things that go on in it. - Yeah, it is. But it's actually really, really pretty easy to get into. And the tutorial stages, I thought, explain the game really well. - Yeah, unfortunately, I don't think it has a demo right now either, which is like another misstep by that game. - It could definitely use a demo. - Right, if I had been a demo to play with your friends and be like, "Oh, okay." - You totally figured out, yeah. But I'm really enjoying it. I mean, I hope that it sells well enough. I have a feeling, like you said, 'cause it's not being promoted, it won't. But it comes out soon. - It's out. - It's out out? - It's out. - Oh, okay. Well, if you have a few extra bucks, go play it. Yeah, it's worth it. So those are the games I've been playing. That's about it. "Hordin' and New Vegas." - Well, it's okay. - Which kind of New Vegas has a tendency to devour free time. - It does. - I've actually spent more time playing "Fall and New Vegas" than I really feel like I've had free time. (laughing) - Have you been doing it instead of sleeping? That's usually the key indicator. - Oh, who did that? That'd be weird. (laughing) - I'm like 60 hours into that game. You don't like New Vegas? - I don't like any of the Fallout games. - Oh, okay. - I totally understand why you wouldn't. - Yeah, especially if you didn't fall out of three, New Vegas isn't going to change your mind, do you? But I'm enjoying New Vegas. Like I said before, I really think the storyline is better than Fallout 3. Fallout 3's main storyline was just kind of meh. - Meh. - Meh. - Meh. - That's that. - Yeah. - Let us, uh, pick up the print. - Okay. - Yeah, no. - Let us in the face. (laughing) ♪ Everything's green ♪ ♪ You're still hard to bleed ♪ ♪ Yeah ♪ (upbeat music) ♪ What is it worth to you ♪ ♪ To be free someone ♪ ♪ What is it worth to you ♪ ♪ What would you do ♪ ♪ Everything ♪ - First letter is from Travis and he says, it's a relationship letter time. - Oh, shit. - I've recently been talking to a girl in two of my university classes a lot and things seem to have been going well. - So he's, he's English. - Last Wednesday, I asked her to lunch and again, we had a really good time and got to know each other a lot better. Afterward, I decided I'd ask her out on Friday. Unfortunately, she was working every day that weekend so we just left it at okay, maybe another time. This didn't seem like a blow off as we small talked afterwards on our way to the bus stops and there was no awkwardness between us. Flash forward to today and she has started aggressively ignoring me. - Yep. - She sat on the other side of the classroom and when I tried to talk to her after class while walking to the next, all I could get out of her was a high and then a huge don't talk to me vibe. Haven't you ever experienced this? This is my far from my first experience. I see girl, I've just never had a 180 flip. So intense. - It was, yeah, congratulations. It was a total blow off and big ups to you for recognizing that and not dwelling on it and trying to fix it. - And I mean, he did everything right. - He did everything right, yeah. Time to move on. - He's never happened, of course. But you know what we did, exactly what you did. Move on. Plenty of fashion. - It never happened to me, they always see, yes. - Well, I mean, you're so goddamn handsome. - Well, yeah, well, when they're drug, it's hard for them to say no. (laughing) - You weren't supposed to tell that part. Yes, we were. (laughing) - Okay, next letter. - Date rape, hilarious. - The next letter is from Brian and he says, "Brah!" He says, "I want to respond to James' letter last episode." I was wondering if you could help me out. In the past few weeks, I've been trying to eliminate words like gay, fag, retard from my vocabulary. - That's retarded. - But I find this very difficult. Having been raised by Xbox Live's loving community. - Gay. - I just find it hard to replace those words with proper substitutions while being part of a group of friends who like to competitively trash talk when I want. - Bunch of fags. - Name call my friend for being very feminine. Like, what should I say instead of calling him a fag? - Or I want to call someone out being dumb. What do I use instead of re-tire? - Call him Muff Slapper. - Without sending like a fourth grade, calling him a moron or something, appreciate the help. Basically, he just wants words to use. - Muff Slapper, come bucket. (laughing) - Ship bird. Dush nozzle? - I mean, if you-- - Those are all going to eliminate offensive shit from your vocabulary, I feel like you need to eliminate offensive shit from your vocabulary. - Yeah, how about Dush? - Dush is a good one. - Dush is a great one. - Yeah, I use Dush. - Like, if you-- - I mean, not even one of them-- - Most great, I know you use Dush. - If you actually know what a scumbag is. - Fucking asshole. - That's, scumbag is like the worst of all. It's a used condom. - Is that what a scumbag is? - Yeah. - I never knew that. - Scumbag is used condom. - Wow. - That's fucking disgusting. (laughing) - Really? - Yeah. - No. - Yeah. - Look it up on the internet. Is that why on that old TV show-- - Yeah, 'cause the internet's never wrong. - Is that why on that old TV show I can't even remember what it was? - It was. - No, where it was the, it was like a comedy cop show. He said he always said scumbucket. - Car 54. - Is that what it was? - I don't know. - Well, they always said scumbucket. - Scumbucket. - Do you remember-- - Buster point extra in it? - Do you remember in the '80s, like on shows like Riptide when Turkey was the biggest insult of all? - Wasn't it like you, Turkey? You were like, "Oh shit, you totally nailed me!" "Oh, fuck, I can't come back from that. "You told me a turkey." Start doing that, start calling people Turkey and if they piss you off, go, "Hey, scram!" "Cram it with walnuts." - Bring back classic insults. - Yeah. - Go watch old episodes of "Leave It To Beaver" and start using all those and then just confuse them. - Yeah, start watching "Boardwalk Empire" and pick up the insults from "The Vodville Guy" at the end of every episode. - I love "Boardwalk Empire." - Ah, did you ever see my wife? "Mother of I!" Shut up, Scott. All right, let's see, let me find. Okay, this is one that Matt wanted red and I had started as well. It's from Ronnie. He says, "I was wondering if a game "has ever hit you in a way that brought you to tears." - No. - "I don't mean so much as a character died and that was sad. "I've never really grown attached to a game in that manner. "Something that has hit me in a rough spot "you might be familiar with. "The game that did this to me is "Rock Band 2." And he says, "I chose a mystery set list "and played the first two songs "and the third song was Fleetwood Max, "Go Your Own Way." At the end of the song, I was bawling. My mom passed away a few years ago when she was 48, myself 24, for the funeral I made a disc with a lot of songs she loved and we listened to it non-stop. We had "Go Your Own Way" play as the attendees were exiting the showing. I wasn't aware that "Go Your Own Way" was in "Rock Band 2" and "The Rush of Moses" stroked me, that's what he's saying. He's basically saying, "Have you ever been fucked "by a game bringing you a real life emotion?" - Well, I think in that case it's a little bit different 'cause it's more the song than the game. But I mean, when I read that-- - I mean, I definitely had songs do that. - Yeah, and I've had games that like made me tear up. I mean, I have like full on ball that some movies. I've never done that in a game before though, but like the ending to "Echo" gets me every time. Like that I always find to be really emotional makes me wanna tear up and "Shoutle the Colossus" kind of gets me but not as poignantly as "Echo" does. - Yeah. But yeah, I can't really think of any other games that have like really struck. And I think that's the reason why I wanted us to read that letter is because I think that that's a good critique of the industry and the game and the sort of one note that most games usually strike and that like why haven't there been games that have affected me the way that movies and some books and stuff have. - I think enslaved actually does a good job of hitting a lot of different emotional notes. - It does, but nothing ever that intense, you know? It never goes that far. - I totally tiered up playing Pac-Man Championship and Championship Championship. - That was because you weren't blinking. - But that's, but I really did actually, I actually was wipey tears away from my eyes because I wouldn't blink for five minutes. (laughing) - I don't really think that that's what they mean. - Sean writes in and he says, okay. - That's how the song's gonna make you two. - I thought the relationship by segment of your show was dumb, but now I need your advice. (laughing) Me and my girlfriend have been dating. - I think you should skip this letter. - Me and my girlfriend have been dating for a little over four months and I feel like our relationship is fizzling. - Get out. - I'm a senior in high school and she graduated. - Get out. - And she graduated in the class before me. - What are you still doing? - Stop. - Let him finish the fucking song. - She says we're at different stages in our lives and that I have some growing up to do. I.E. she has a car job and responsibilities, none of which I have. I really care about her, but I also get the feeling that she doesn't like me that much anymore. She doesn't really sound happy to hear from me anymore and she hangs out with other guys over me whenever she gets the chance. I won't even be able to see her until Friday because she works Monday and Thursday and she's going to the movies with our friend Ben on Tuesday and didn't even bother to invite me. - She's Christ. - Well, guess what? - This chick has broken up with you already. - She's also going to be going down on your friend Ben after the movie is at the car. - Your relationship is not fizzling. It is dumb. - It is dumb. - Your relationship is only four months. You guys aren't even in a relationship. - Okay, well for high school relationships, it's almost like dog years. - That's true. - Four months is long. - But still she's been out of-- - But that's the thing is she's out of high school. It is true, the moment you are out of fucking high school, you feel more mature than everybody who's still in high school 'cause you are. - And also, I mean, just flat out. It does sound like she's more mature than you. - Yeah. - Flat out. - She has a car and responsibilities. - And girls mature faster than boys. - Right. - Which is the old saying that is generally true. And B, you sound kind of like a slacker. - Yeah. - And she's not, and she's over that. - Get a haircut, get a job. - You damn hippie. - Yeah, shave your fucking hair. - I would say just, yeah, get rid of the relationship, enjoy the rest of your senior year in high school and have a kick-ass time and worry about it later. - Quit smoking the pot. - Or smoking the pot. - Yeah. Quit doing marijuana. - I mean, not something like a dick. Like, I'm not saying it to be hurtful. It's just like, it's clear that she's over you. - Yeah. - I don't understand why-- - Don't hang on to it. - The only reason that she was not-- - The only reason that she was not had the, it's over conversation is because it's this passive aggressive thing where she's trying to give you hints and she doesn't want to be the one to say it. - She doesn't want to, exactly. - Yeah, she's not strong enough to actually say it. - But, yeah. It's been four months. Don't spend another four months going, "Baby, please, baby, please, please, please." - Then your name would be bitch Scott Bromley. (both laughing) - All right. - You gave that up last week. - The next letter is Brett. I fell for a girl. So after a few weird weeks of friendship-- - Get out. (both laughing) - I grew a pair and asked her out. She said yes, but I didn't know if she understood what I was implying. I'm also friends with her roommate and she's been telling me that the girl's unsure if she likes me is more than a friend. As of now, we've gone up to coffee a few times and we've been hanging out a lot. Smarta, I'm going to the movies with her and her roommates. - Ben? - I was planning asking. I know, right? (both laughing) I was planning on asking her to go on a real day with me after the movie. - I'm pretty sure he's in the "Friends on" already. - Everyone is telling me different things. Like, take my time, tell her off. I'm just not good with these situations. I've never even kissed a girl and me and this girl haven't even held hands. - Yeah, no. You're well into the "Friends on." - You're in the "Friends on." You are looking way too into her being nice and a human being. Sorry, dude. - Yeah, your only choice right now is to either just drop it all together or make absolutely clear what your intentions are and risk getting done. - To quote, I think it was Hank Moody. Girls know if they want to fuck date or marry some of them within a few minutes of meeting them. - Right. She is not interested in fucking dating or marrying you. - Nope. - Probably not. - I mean, it could be a cool friendship. - Just don't do the thing where you silently accept your fate and hope something's going to change because you're never ever going to fuck your way out of the "Friends on." (laughing) - Although sometimes it's fun to try. - Yes. - You're always going to be her best friend. You're so sweet and you're just going to go, "Oh, thanks. That was great." And then go home and vigorously masturbate. - While crying. - Yeah. - You've had that happen to you. (humming) - Mayhaps. - Fat Scott Bromley. - I had that happen to me. - Fat Scott Bromley had that happen. - Yeah, that's what I mean. At some point in your life, it's happened to you. It's happened to me too. - Yeah. Fat Scott Bromley had that thin fucking devilishly handsome Scott Bromley. (laughing) He don't take no guff from broads. - Really? (laughing) - I've never met that one. - You never met what? - Devilishly handsome Scott Bromley. - He's outside. - Oh. (laughing) Well, fuck, bring him in here. Get the fuck out of my house. (laughing) - He's fucking someone right now. - All right. So Daniel writes in-- - What a coffee table. - And he says, last week you guys received a letter about force pushing being a cure for common constipation. - Oh God. - So I had a follow-up question. - Oh. - He says, do you think Jedis would make good EMTs because they could perform CPR from inside someone's chest cavity? (laughing) I figured it was bullshit like Magneto taking iron from that poor guard with Timo chromatosis. But now your letter segment made me wonder what other medical miracles Jedis could perform. (laughing) - Well, apparently according to the force on leash, they can pull down what the deaths start just by looking at it. - No, it's Star Destroyer. He pulled down a Star Destroyer in the first one. - So, yeah, they can do that. (laughing) - They can do whatever they want. - In the expanded fiction team of Jedis also threw a whole fleet of Star Destroyer's to another galaxy. - Wow. - Wow. - What about that? - That's heavy duty shit. - That's some Superman two shit. - Then I would expect that yes, you could do chest compressions with the force. - Right. - Yeah. - Of course. - If Darth Vader can grip someone's throat and crush it and grab someone's heart and squeeze it. - Sure. - Why not? - Yeah. - But if you're thinking about other miracles they could perform, you know, lots of things, fix blood clots. - Yeah, walk on water. - Walk on water, yeah. - Turn water into wine. (laughing) - Now make a whole shit load of fish and bread appear. (laughing) - That's what it comes down to. - 'Cause Jesus was actually a Jedi. (laughing) - He had a beard. - That's why he told everyone to use love and not to use hate. - Right. - Because hate is the way of the dark side. - And he had a lightsaber. - He did. - Was Matthew his padawan? - Yes, I was. - He's actually Peter. That's why he came to pope. There you go. - That's why he's in the case. - And just like Jedi, you know, priests and thought Catholic religion aren't allowed to marry him. - That's why Peter is almost in heaven but he has to hang out by the gates. - Right. - Gotcha. - He judges you to see if you were light-centered. - He's not quite a Jedi yet. - He's still a bad one. - Still got that braid. (laughing) - Someone sent in a letter asking us what we think the best skateboarding game is 'cause they used to play Tony Hawk back in the day but now they've fallen out with it and they wanna get into it. - Skate two. - Yeah, they were asking, should they get Skate two or Skate three? They weren't sure. - I think I haven't played Skate two and Skate three to death but I have played them both. I've actually played Skate three more. I really enjoy Skate three. My friends who have played Skate one, two, and three to death say that Skate two is the best. - I was gonna say, well that was this thing. He's like, I can get two for 20 bucks or I can get three for 40. - Right. - He's like, go for two, it sounds like, right? - Yeah, at least according to people who are supposedly in the know, I really enjoyed Skate three though. Anyway. - Was it just Skate three or was it Skate it? - What? No, it's just Skate. - That's the iPhone version, right? - I have no idea. I'm assuming you're correct though. - Because you're always right Arthur. - That is not true. I'm always right. That's what I do. I do try to correct myself when I'm wrong though. - Yeah. All right, I'll read, I got like one or two more. Let's see. - Let's stretch this out baby, come on. - Help, I know you see this. I need some help and before I start, it's about college majors. I'm thinking pursuing a film major and an English minor so I can screen write better than I might without it. First things first, I'm really afraid of my financial future if I do this. I doubt I'll be living in the street but where do you think I'll be? Will I ever make it? How the fuck do I know? Also my parents are very academically based and I think they aren't doing the best of jobs and making me feel good about this path. Only junior in high school. So I have time to think about it. - No, you will not make it. - But with the thought of future and the constant pushing towards the academic sector which I don't love but don't hate. What do you guys think about all this? - I'm being fucking honest with you. You will not make it. Like think of going to a film major. If you really, really like being part of the crew, you can get a job in a union somewhere as long as you moved to Los Angeles but you're screenwriting, it's super difficult. It's not about-- - It's a closed system. - It's definitely a closed system. No one is going to read your script unless you have an agent. And it's next to impossible to get an agent. I was fortunate enough to have one so it's not about what you know, it's who you know. So if you're going to go to school, go to school in LA but everybody in LA has a script. - Yeah. - A friend of mine did-- - It's not just a cliche. - No, it's not a cliche. A friend of mine did an actual informal survey one day fucking around outside of a Ralph's asking people going in and out, how is your screenplay coming? And about 70% of the people had an honest answer to them. - Everybody has a screenplay. Everybody thinks it's going to happen. No, if you do pursue that, you could get a job as a reader, a low level reader for an actual agent and that will give you an opportunity to get your script seen by people. - That still doesn't mean it's going to happen. - It still doesn't mean it's going to happen. Also, you know, you can work your ass off and get shit optioned, which that's great, that money is easy if you know how to get it, but the odds are getting your film made. - Yeah. - Pretty fucking slim. - Yeah. - Unless you know the right people. - Unless you know the right people. - Yep, sure. - It's all about luck. But if I would say really reconsider the whole screenwriting aspect, unless you're going to USC or UCLA. - Absolutely. - Or skip it and you're a really fucking good writer. Also, if you do pursue it, finish your fucking scripts. - That's just good advice for all writing, like you just need to fucking finish it. - Finish your fucking script. - And to get an agent to do it. - Well, yeah, that's more important is to finish your goddamn script. Because if you don't discipline yourself on how to finish a script, you never will. You can have the greatest idea in the world and until you get all 120 pages of it down, it's just an idea. - Yeah. - And your first script is never going to sell. Your second script is never going to sell. You're going to have to write tens of hundreds of scripts before one of them will look at them. - And then it probably won't get made. - No. - But at least somebody looked at it. - Someone looked at it, yeah, so. I got really fortunate. - Shane writes in and he says, well, he recently says this is this part we don't condone. But I recently tried shrooms for the first time. In some of the trippiest moments, I was seeing Minecraft visuals. I took this as a sign. - I've been playing way too much Minecraft lately. But his real question is, what I wanted to know, has if you ever played a game enough that you kept finding it coming up in other parts of your life where you didn't expect to think of it, like you were burying a body and reminded of Digdug. (laughing) - That's awful. But yeah, for me, it was crackdown. Like when I played the first crackdown, I couldn't help but walk down in downtown San Francisco and go, I could climb that. Like if only I could leap 10 feet at a time, I could totally grab all of those window ledges all the way up to the top of that building. Happened to me all the time. - Everyone's had that thing where they're playing Tetris and they close their eyes and they're still playing it in their head. - Yeah, definitely. - I don't feel like any of this has ever happened to me. I mean, I think about games in real life. - Yeah. - Like, you know, when I watch movies and stuff and well, I guess it does happen. - I was saying it's Tetris theme song when I'm trying to put boxes in the back of a car. (laughing) - Yeah. - It works. (laughing) Except when I get them all lined up, everything disappears. Let's get past that. - These are the Leno jokes. - I've lost so much shit that way. - Oh, it's terrible. - We got another like fucking sick and demented relationship advice. I really want to help a 16 year old kid. My girlfriend wants to have anal sex, but I'm not sure. - Honestly, we've gotten hardly any relationship letters. Let me dig back a little farther because I've been kind of avoiding them for a while, but I often pick them when you're here. - Yeah, 'cause you're fucking throwing like, what's your favorite video game that makes you cry? - Well, these were recent letters sent to us. - Have you ever seen a ding-dong in real life? - These were recent letters that were actually good. - I want to hear shit, but like, my girlfriend would think it would be awesome if she put a diet Pepsi bottle in my asshole when we're having sex. I'm not sure if the Pepsi douche is where I want to go. So I ask you, Rebel FM, should I take the Pepsi challenge? - Yes, the answer is always yes. - Okay. - You got one? You got a good one? All right, here we go. I'm done vamping. - Hey guys, that is a goddamn line, you know it. - I'm writing a relationship advice, but here we go. Okay, in August, I looked out when a girl I'd been eyeing asked me out before I had the chance. This isn't dirty, like-- - That's always fun. - Yeah, oh dude, when a girl asks you out. - When a hot girl asks you out. I was ecstatic. - What a terrible experience. - We seem like a good match and the relationship has gone smoothly except for one thing. - It seems like one of those good problems. - She spends an obscene amount of time on her phone, either texting or updating Facebook. - 'Cause she's fucking hot, that's what girls do. I bet she drives a jetta. - It's funny, it's still fucking annoying. - Or a golf. - Being around a person where it's just the two of you and having them use their phone continuously. - Oh, it's so terrible. You don't have to continue, you can just stare at her. - I hate you, Scott. (laughs) 'Cause conversation is a good thing. - Conversation's a great thing, but when there's a great set of tits in front of you and you wanna fucking stare at 'em while she's looking at drop seven on her phone, it's awesome. - Well, she says location doesn't seem no matter who could be a movie or having dinner and the phone is in use half the time. This is something I noticed from day one and back then didn't bother me so much but now it's becoming grating. Makes me feel unwanted and it's hard to judge her level of interest or enjoyment in what we're doing. Sometimes I'm not sure she'd rather be with me or go home with the phone, set to vibrate. I've tried dropping more than one hint to see she would cut back and she does, but it only lasted a short time before they have it over takes her. She seems enthusiastic enough about our relationship but I'm conflicted. There's a good to be had in this relationship but her insistent use of the phone is frustrating as hell. - Look, hot girls, yeah, you can tell her but I mean, hot girls are into their phones. If you've ever seen the Paris Hilton sex tape, she fucking pauses halfway through to answer her phone. (laughing) Honestly God, like the green night mission scene, she's on all fours and her phone goes off and she fucking dismounts from Rick Solomon to go answer her phone and he's sitting there and he's like, the fuck are you doing? Leave your fucking phone alone. That was my favorite part. I left my ass off. - I have Paris Hilton. - Right, but it's still fucking rude when you're with someone, especially someone you care about like that. - That's the hottest part of that movie. - Just sit there and be on your phone with them. - You could just embrace it and like start using Facebook and texting all the time like while you're with her. - Yeah, fuck with her. - I mean, I just think that you're gonna find yourself putting up with more 'cause she's hot, honestly. - If it's grating to you though, fucking tell her. Otherwise-- - Or start leaving status updates that tell her to get off the phone. (laughing) - Fuckin' social networking guerrilla warfare. (laughing) - I would just question whether or not, like if this is the one thing feels like a relationship and/or to you, then you probably don't wanna be in the relationship to begin with. - Yeah. - I agree, that was sound advice. (laughing) - I'm blown away. - Yeah, I don't know where that came from. I wouldn't believe me if I were you. - Okay. That's it. - That's it? - That's it. - That's it? - We all done, essay? - We did some letters, but a lot of them-- - What do you consider a bad letter? Read me a bad letter. - I want a bad letter. - No, I mean, I read almost all the letters we got. There was a couple of pirating ones. I was avoiding some of the gaming ones, 'cause Scott kept them-- - Fuckin' hit me with a gaming one! Come on, let's go, baby! - We are a gaming podcast, ostensibly. - Look at this, I've been on this show what? Four times now, this is the most I've ever talked about gaming. - It's true, because you actually had some games to talk about, 'cause you played some games and shit. - I put a shitload of games. - All right. Kevin writes them. Or care. - Care. - Care. - K-A-E-I-R. K-A-I-R. - Sounds like a terrible letter. - Just wanted to ask you, if you had any stories, when you're reviewing, if you've had trouble completing a difficult game, recent games that come to mind would be Super Meat Boy, Demon Souls, Ninja Gaiden. I know all reviewers aren't necessarily great gamers, but do you feel this closure should be given when a reviewer fails to complete a game due to lack of skill? Have you ever personally forced yourself to practice a Master Game, just in temp, as you completed for review? - I actually did that with Demon Souls. I tried it several times. - You forced yourself? - I forced myself, not to beat it. I couldn't get there. I forced myself to play that game like five, maybe six times, and each time I spent a good two to three hours trying to make myself master that game, because everybody kept talking about how awesome it was, and I wanted to give it a fair shake, but I fucking hate that game, and I couldn't do it. - I have two examples. I had to force myself to finish Bayonetta, 'cause that game goes on about six hours to fucking long, and it has like seven different endings. - But it's so empowering to women. - It's so empowering. - You had to force yourself to finish Bayonetta, but you really liked it, I thought. - I thought it was really good in a lot of ways, but it's way too long, it falls apart at the end, and it's incredibly demeaning, and I don't care for the style at all, which speaks to how good the fucking underlying mechanics of the fighting engine in Bayonetta are, because that is the best character action fighting mechanics, this generation, as far as I'm concerned, and that includes Ninja Gaiden too. - Wow. - That's a hell of a statement coming from Mr. Geese. - Yeah, oh, wait, that was a Japanese game. Fuck that game, sorry, I forgot. I hate everything from Japan. - That's what the internet say anyway. - Yeah, and I forced myself to play way more a brutal legend than I was actually having fun playing. - If that's not 'cause it was difficult. - No, it's just 'cause I didn't like it. - That's what he's asking mainly, like, skill and stuff. I've seen people that have a lot of trouble with certain games, and I only think it's something, I mean, just when you read it, you should look at the words they're using and try and parse out if they were having a lot of trouble, if they say it was really hard. - I reviewed-- - It's not gonna be the same experience for everyone. - I reviewed again, for DS, and didn't finish it, because it became so obtuse that it was just like ramming my head into a brick wall. - I actually saw a speed run video of Demon's Souls where the guy completed the game in like 55 minutes or something like that. - Wow. - Yeah, and it was pretty incredible. He did like, it kind of just shows the things about, to me, that shows the things about that game that aren't fun, like he would run up to an enemy, and 99% of the time the enemies, he would just roll past. And basically, like most speed run videos are, you know, it was all about like using little bits of the game's gaminess against it so that you could glitch through certain parts, and so that you could use some of Demon's Souls, I guess, more kind of obscure methods to get to the different bosses to complete the game, and he did a really amazing job, and it was a really skillful play-through of that game. Because, you know, he had to be really precise in a lot of different areas to try to get from point A to point B as quick as possible. And I found that like, I actually found that really enjoyable, and it made me feel like, wow, I really did suck at Demon's Souls, but I also wasn't trying to play it like this, I wasn't trying to speed run it and like do these little glitches and everything, I was trying to like, take it head on the way to the developers meant for you to play the game. But yeah, that's the only game that I think of where like, I tried and I felt like the mechanics were fighting me, and then I sucked, and that the game also sucked. I can't think of any other game where that's been an issue. - I also had to force myself to finish Shank. - Man, really? - That disappointed me. - I stopped having fun about two thirds the way through that game. - Yeah, I was so excited for that game, and then I was watching you play it, and it just sucked all the time. - We were like little kids on fucking Christmas when I got the review build for that shit. - I don't fucking Shank, it was so happy. So excited, and it was gonna be fucking awesome. - It just unraveled, and I ended up not buying it. - Wow. - I played it at PAX East. - Yeah. - I was so excited, I was like, this is day one purchase for me, singing from the mountaintop for that game, and then I was always watching Arthur play it for review, and it was going, okay, well, that sucks. That fell apart. - Bomber. - Okay. - Last letter, and this one's won this for Scott. - Oh, yes. - Well, it's not like it's not highly sexual, but I think it's a guy that you could provide advice to. - Yeah. - His name's Leonard, and he says, so long story short, I'm a big fat guy. - What's up? - Although fat fucker aside, I'd like to think I'm pretty awesome. - You fuck, yeah, you are. - Ladies don't truck with fat fucks, though. So I will occasionally come down with a powerful case of the lonesoms. Obviously, the snap response to the assumed question is lose weight, idiot, which is easier said to done, and I'm working on it, but I'm actually just interested in hearing what you folks like to do when loneliness creeps into your lives. I know coping mechanisms are different for everyone, but I'd like the input. - Maybe you'll gain the most, when you're lonely. - Yeah, I mean-- - That's why I play World of Warcraft. - Yeah. - Loneliness and being a fat guy, a lot of people assume that they probably go hand in hand, but it's all about the person. - It is. - You know, I mean, I noticed this growing up, that there were always two kinds of fat kids. There were the fat kids who let it get to them and would be lonely all the time. - And the fat kids who acted like it didn't get to them. - And had fun all the time. I fell into the ladder. Like, 'cause my parents were like, why'd you just have fun? Be yourself, go fucking party. And I just-- - Did your parents ever talk to you about your weight when you're growing up? - I'm sure it was, I'm sure it was discussed, but I just was like, fucking, I don't wanna play baseball. I don't care. I want to draw. I want to go out with my friends. I want to stay out late. I want to drive fast cars. But yeah, I don't know. For this guy, it's what he hears all the time, but you know, congratulations on working to lose weight. And if you stick with it in your lonely time, that's what you should be doing. Go, I mean-- - That's a good point. - My thing was people were saying, oh, I can never ever work out. I would find two hours in my day that I could either spend watching reruns on VH1, or I could get on a treadmill in the morning and at night and work it off. I'm sure this guy can find two hours in his lonely time to do something that he's not gonna wanna do. But it's just, you know, it becomes a habit after a while. - And you channel some of that self-loathing. - What? - Channel some of that self-loathing. - Yeah, yeah. - 'Cause it might take that to make you, like if you decide you wanna lose weight, like it takes some kind of focus of loathing to say, you fucking douchebag, you fucking go out and do this. Don't be worthless. - What it takes is wow, it does. It's true. There is one moment where everything will hit you. One picture, one glance in a mirror, something will hit you and say, fuck, I gotta do this. And I don't think he's had that moment yet, but try and make that moment happen because Fat Guy Revenge is really fun. (both laughing) Like, I can tell you from firsthand, Fat Guy Revenge is some of the sweetest revenge you can have on-- - You mean like when you go back to your 10-year high school reunion and your girls'-- - When you go back to your 10-year reunion, when everyone's like, oh my God, and then next thing you know, you're in the pool house of the girl that you had a huge crush on in high school the next morning, and it's like, you would have never done that in high school, but now you did, or, you know, girls who would never give you the time of day that you opine for or from afar are suddenly talking to you because you're the same charming person that you were before, you just don't have that physical barrier that they're afraid of. Like, I tease my girlfriend all the time. I'm like, you would have been my best friend if I was still fat. She's like, absolutely, I never would have fucked you if you were fat. And it's true, and she never would have fucked me. And now she's probably gonna, she's the end of the line for me, but Fat Guy Revenge is fun, man. Like, 'cause you're, I'm assuming you're already funny. You already know how to talk to people. - As a defense mechanism, if nothing else. - Exactly, and that never changes. That will never, people always ask you, "Oh, is it different being thin?" No, you're the same fucking person. You just have a completely different body and you use that to your advantage. You know, you can charm the pants off of anyone because you learned how to charm the pants off of someone so they're not making fun of you. - Right. - So, get thin, fuck some bitches, man. It's so much fun. - If you want to send in your lone fat person letters. - Also move to LA because it's a lot more fun. - Fucking, if you want to send in your own-- - Oh, no, there are a lot of hot girls in the hate. - There are, but it's really fun with a Ford model. (laughing) - All right, letters, you send them to letters that eat-sleepjustgame.com. And we're on Twitter, you know, that fat thing. - Yeah, stock me on Facebook, come on. You get to see a picture of my girlfriend's cleavage in an American gladiator costume. (laughing) - And I'm so friending you now. - Her tits are a sight to behold. My father actually, I was hiking with him and he asked me, this guy is here, is her boobs real or are they fake? And I'm like, real, I was like, God damn. (laughing) - Did you tell her this? - Yeah, I told her this. She thought it was funny. Well, I mean, my sister's wedding, all of my dad's friends were coming out to him like, who the fuck is with Scott? (laughing) - My favorite Stacy's story is still the pre-Halloween, excessive drinking story. - Which one? - When she came in after partying and looked at you and said, I fucking hate you. - Oh my God, oh, I'll fucking, I'll say this right now. I'll say this right now. And if she, I'll ask her tonight, if it's okay to have on the air, but she came home from, and she was, she's on Playboy's blog right now. There's a photo of her doing this on Playboy's blog. We found it and I was like, holy shit. So she competed in the air sex competition where you have sex, you mimic yourself having sex. - Right. - But it's like air guitar, but air sex. - Right. - So she was out with her friends and just getting fucking obliterated to do this competition. And. - As one should. - As one should. And it was a school night for me and I was really, really tired. And so she went out with her friends alone and then she came, she came back, hammered. And she walks in the door wearing a wig from the air sex competition, throws it at me. And it's like, I fucking hate you. And I'm like, whoa, what did I do? She's like, I don't even wanna fucking hear it. I am so fucking mad at you. I fucking hate the shit out of you. You are an asshole. Fuck you, fuck you. And I'm like, whoa, I'm just sitting here watching Gilmore Girls, what's going on? And she's like, I fucking hate you so much 'cause I'm just so fucking in love with you. Fuck you, you fucking asshole. - That's awesome. - And I'm like, oh, that's great. And then I'm like, well, I'm gonna get laid tonight. So I go back to my room, she goes off to my room, she's like, I have to go pee, but I still fucking hate you. She goes to her room, she goes to the bathroom and I come back in about, oh, with three minutes had passed and she has blacked out on my bed with her pants halfway off like she was trying to take off her pants. She got into bed and she's just like, totally half naked and I'm like, oh. - I'm not getting laid tonight. - I'm not getting laid. - Yeah, exactly. - That would be rape. So, yeah, I bet she's a gem. - She's a keeper. - She's a keeper. - All right. - Yeah, she, she looks showing off her boobs. She's gonna see her on the halloween, she just says a little American Gladiator. Boobs spilling out all over the place. Kept on having to fix her shirt 'cause her ariolas were almost showing. - It's part of the costume. - Yeah, that's part of the thing. - Yeah, Zapp always had her ariolas, huh? - I had that problem on Halloween, too. - That's why I watched American Gladiators' job. - Yeah. - Get some of those little diamond nips. - Yeah, that's terrifying. - Little lace. - On that note, thank you for listening to her. - Actually, lace is pube, probably. - Oh, God. - Thank you for listening to her. - That's why they're called her lace. And that's all you're gonna hear from the couch online. - That doesn't make any sense. It's like Lacey. Lacey pube. - Oh, my God. ♪ Don't leave me alive ♪ ♪ Don't leave me alive ♪ ♪ Don't leave me alive ♪ ♪ I'm sorry, no, no, no ♪ ♪ Don't leave me alive ♪ ♪ Don't leave me alive ♪ [BLANK_AUDIO]