Rebel FM
Rebel FM Episode 77 - 09/24/10
Greetings, and ephemeral visitations upon you as we're joined this week by Scott Bromley and Brian Altano. We talk about games for approximately 138 seconds before becoming completely derailed. Enjoy!This week's music, in order of appearance:AFI - Head Like a HoleREM - Losing My Religion
(upbeat music) (upbeat music) ♪ There's nothing good on the radio ♪ ♪ Once again I didn't know ♪ ♪ There's a hard time to ♪ ♪ The rebel of hell ♪ ♪ The rebel of hell ♪ ♪ The rebel of hell ♪ ♪ The rebel of hell ♪ - Hello and welcome to Rebel Affam Episode 7. 77 Wet Dream Edition, I'm Anthony Gagos. With me is Be Altano. - What's up? - I want them just to think your name is Be Altano, all one word. - Be Altano? - Yeah, his name is Be-Tano. - He's a wolf. - Yeah, what is that? - And then also Scott Bromley. - What's going on, internet? Did you flip your hat around? Like, like Stallone and Over the Top? - That's what he did. - 'Cause you're ready to podcast. - For those of you who are still with us, after hearing Scott Bromley's name, there's Arthur Geese and M.A.S.H. Engineer. - I actually left. - I've never actually had a Wet Dream. - So, you guys don't know how to talk about the game. - Well, you know, we've totally had the Wet Dream conversation on this podcast before. - "Femoral Fantasia" was the name for it. - You named your Killzone 2 clan after it and never played that game again. - What, nocturnal emissions? - No, ephemeral fantasia. - An execution? - That's the name of a RPG ephemeral fantasia, but to me it sounds like something that would happen that I would call Wet Dream. - Sounds like a Wet Dream. - Yeah, right? - A femoral fantasia. - Like every show at a RPG. - I just had an ephemeral fantasia. - Exactly. - I've never had an ephemeral fantasia. So, I don't understand this phenomenon. I think it's like the chicken pox or something. - You had sex dreams, right? - Yeah, of course. - We were talking about Wet Dreams before the podcast started, sorry. - Yeah, I just, I don't understand how to wake up covered in your own comb without anything happening. - Well, if ephemeral fantasia is a Wet Dream, what is infinite undiscovery? - That's what it is. - When you have, yeah, I was gonna say that's when you have anal sex with yourself. (laughing) - No, but what we're talking about is only the only people who have had Wet Dreams are me and Scott. And I know that's actually not as common for people to have Wet Dreams these days, 'cause you have to be-- - Still as a 30-year-old man. - 'Cause we're on the internet. - I mean these days, we invented masturbation in the last 20 years? - Yes, we did. - I just feel like we masturbated a lot more. We're a lot more open about it. - I don't think that that's true. - That's not true at all. People have been doing this shit for literally since the day there was people. - If they had to write about it in the Bible, you know people did it. - Yeah. - I wanna see-- - All the time. - I wanna see the joseph rubbing one out. - God damn it, people are jerking it so often. - Make that collab looks like a parrotit! (laughing) - What the fuck else are you gonna do on an arc? (laughing) - Well, there are a bunch of animals. - I'm gonna say, there's the reason there's laws against the bestiality too. - Because of Noah? - He was the earliest furry. - It just pounded off a few tigers. - Fucking sheep. - Anthony and I had a great, that I dragged Scott into it, but we had a great conversation. I don't know if it was a great conversation. But about furry conventions and about how, if they have laws against fucking endangered furries. - Or if there's laws against being a fake animal. - Yeah, exactly. - 'Cause I was telling Brian we should go-- - You are jacking up, get the fuck out of here. - Can be like a liger and I'll go with Godzilla and be like, ah, I wanna fuck other lizards. And they'll be like, you're not a lizard. And I'll be like, fuck you. - I've actually read a term coined for that fetish. - Really? - Specifically. - Wait. - The fucking Godzilla? - Yeah. Macro her pedophile. - Wow. - Wow. (laughs) There's nothing else we can say. - Yeah. - There are no words. - But that one. - Congratulations. - It's in a book called Trans Metropolitan. This private investigator goes into the Stark theater and sees the Godzilla battle with porn noises dubbed over it. And then all these people with like Godzilla gloves touching themselves. - Sounds like art school. - Yeah. See, I always pictured Godzilla fucking Mothra. Well, Mothra's weapon is jizzing. - It's pretty much. - Okay. - Isn't that really all our weapon? - Well, he also has like two midget hot Asian bitches that they hold in someone's hand. - Well, apparently my weapon doesn't work when I sleep, but you guys get to use your night lasers. - I keep the safety on. - I do too. - Yeah, but you were shocked that it happens without any physical contact at all. - I don't get that at all. - So I have some professor action. - Just to keep the dew railing that's going on. - I had a friend in high school who he was really, really Catholic and he didn't masturbate. And I know you're like, well, she didn't masturbate. No, he really didn't. He still got off though, just through the power of fucking mental persuasion. Basically what happens when you wet dream. - It's the Immaculate Orga. - We used to call him Ghost Dog because of that. (laughing) - You told me about this guy. - Yeah, he called him Ghost Dog? - Yeah, we called him Ghost Dog because it was like, we're like, who's touching you? He's like, I don't know, you know, maybe I just rub on the bed a little bit maybe, but really I just use my mind and it gets me off. I'm like, that's just crazy. - Was he thinking about Forest Whitaker the whole time? (laughing) The actual Ghost Dog? - Have you guys seen this internet phenom known as bubbling? - No. - This is where people like get in their balloons and talk to each other? - No, it started on this forum and it just blew the fuck up. But basically it's people who can't look at porn. So they take pictures of girls who aren't naked, but they put like these selective circles around everything. So it looks like they're naked. Like they're blocking off all the areas where clothes would be. So you just see like their belly button and their neck and then they just jerk off to it. Yeah, it's fucking fascinating. - Wow. - Yeah, they censor it and by censoring it, it looks more naked than it dirty started. It looks dirty here. - Yeah. - It's the art of the teas. - I have some photo shopping to do after this. (laughing) - It's funny though, 'cause I don't know how to use photo. - I looked at a fan of him. - I had to make black boxes. - And you jerk off to them. - No, I didn't jerk off to them. I was tempted, but I looked at a few and it's weird because sometimes they leave bubbles, like a couple bubbles out over like things in the corner. Like there was like a boogie board and they cut out the thing so you could see what logo it was, like who made it. You know, like how does this really come into play with the girl? But you know, it's like if there's like a Pepsi bottle in the corner, they want to make sure that you know that that's there too with the girl who's not naked. - 'Cause Lord knows what she could be doing with that Pepsi bottle. - Anyways. - Yeah. - But have you ever jerked off to a more boogie logo? - All right. All right. So back. - What if I have? - Back to the direction our show normally goes before we talk about the yoga games beginning. - And not just endangered animals at furry conventions? - No. - Where have you come from? - Get your hands off that Bengal tiger. There's only six of him. Stop fucking his mouth. - Fuck that, fuck that Bengal tiger's vagina. It's in danger. - That's an Egyptian turkey. Get your hands off of him. Where's the scotch guard? - All right. So we've all been playing some games by all of us. I mean, probably me, Arthur, Matt, been playing video games. - Yeah. - High five, dude. So I've been playing iPhone games. - I play a lot of iPhone games. - Which is something I know that maybe, yeah, like you guys would actually be interested in. - This is where I read on my Android. - So I played the iPhone game Predators, which is really cool. - Yeah. - And I think it's like one of the best ones I've seen of doing like a virtual pad. - Yeah, definitely. - A joystick with a virtual. - How does it work? - Basically, it's like an isometric game. It looks kind of like Diablo style view, you know, and you basically just run around. And they have actually a really, even though there's only two buttons, they have a pretty complex move system for killing guys. - Yeah, it's pretty cool. - The way you like hold down the button and it does a different part of the combo. - And there's different swipes and you're like decapitating and stuff like that. It's cool. - Right, yeah, it's actually... - Stop. Scott is really good at sounding like the Predator. - So it's actually, that's actually a really good one. - Anytime. - But why definitely check out it is... - Anytime. - It's aftermath. - Yeah, 'cause it's free right now, right? - Which as of yesterday was free. So I don't know if it'll still be free by the time this goes on, 'cause it says it's part of the free game of the day, but I think they're leaving it for free more than a day. - This is taking place on Wednesday, so I'm pretty sure it's not gonna be free by the time this goes up. - So it's called aftermath and basically it's an overhead game and it, again, plays kind of with like a twin stick kind of thing and... - Which works really well on an iPhone. - It actually works okay in this. - Okay. - And the way they handle shooting in it is that anything in the beam or flashlight, you'll shoot at. So basically you're always just trying to lock your flashlight onto zombies. - Right. - And you know, there's like a whole campaign where you're actually going through and trying to survive these crazy environments and then I actually just prefer the survive as long as you can mode. - Yeah, it's fun. - Where you get all the guns. Yeah, it's like, I think that that is like-- - It's the closest you're gonna get to like an arcadey Left 4 Dead on your phone. - Yeah, on your phone. - On your iPhone, yeah. - Yeah, it actually reminds me less of Left 4 Dead and more of a, that game that's coming to PSN soon. Dead Nation, I think is what it's called. And it's like it is an overhead, right? - Right, it's style of Left 4 Dead. And then I tried out-- - Do you see the, I mean, like you think about like, you know, how, oh, only these, you know, overhead or isometric games will ever work on the iPhone and then I'm still waiting for, I really want somebody to announce that they've taken that Unreal Engine and that they're gonna make a game using that. - Yeah, that demo is not-- - Yeah, that demo is super-- - I know, I've shown it to other people. I was actually showing it to a friend at a restaurant the other day and this random guy walking by, I was like, what the hell is that? He like stopped and got into our table and I was like, well, sir. I became an Unreal spokesman for a second. - Yeah, I mean, the textures look awesome. I don't know if they'll ever be able to build a game around that without it just exploding constantly. - Yeah, I'm sure that you-- - But even a game that doesn't look quite as good, you know, it doesn't have to look quite as good but still be like, like those were also really good twin stick controls because of the fact that you could just touch anywhere on the screen. Though I still, I will still say that it's kind of annoying that no matter where you put your thumbs, you're basically blocking some of your view. - Yeah, exactly. - That kind of sucks. And then I played Mira's Edge finally. - It's great. - Which is awesome. - Yeah, it's really good. - I could not believe how well that translated to iPhone. - Yeah, I love how it's like the different, you swipe up to jump and you swipe down. - It reminds me of, what's that game everyone fell in love with? It's on iPhone as well. Cannonball, except it's just really beautiful and it's even more, it's a little more complex than Cannonball, it's just one button controls but it's just like, when you get going, it just has like such a nice flow to it. - Yeah, it really does kind of capture that same feel of being able to, you know, vault over things and jump from one wall to the other and all that good stuff. It has wall running, it has kind of all the same little hallmarks that you expected from the other Mira's Edge. - And then the last iPhone game I'm gonna pimp is Osmos. - Yeah, Osmos is the shit. - That is fucking awesome game. - I've only played it on PCs and I've seen it on iPad, it was awesome on iPad, it's still really good on iPhone. - Yeah, it's great on iPhone because, you know, even on iPad, you know, you have a lot more real estate and stuff, you can zoom in and zoom out enough, you can always tell where you're going and they do really clever controls, like three finger touch, brings up the menu, two finger touch, you know, does different things like, I just, - Cool. - Cat invasion. - But yeah, I thought, that was the number one iPhone top 25 game and it deserved it like that. - In our list, yeah. - That was like easily the coolest game I've played. Like Angry Birds is like a fun game but Osmos is like a super clever, cool game. - Yeah, I've liked Osmos. - Do you guys use Game Center? - No. - I just, I logged into it, but I, you know, I don't know, I don't think I actually have any games to support it yet. - I was gonna say, most of the games, most of the games. - Why, what's, what do you have? - The 3G. - Oh, that's right, you got fucked on that one. - Yeah, I did get fucked on that one. - Sorry, dude. - Most of the games use that other third party service anyways. - Open Faint. - Yeah. - That seems to be the one that-- - Yeah, I've stopped caring about that. - Yeah, I don't care either. - I don't like Open Faint either because it's like every time I have a game that has Open Faint installed, it takes, it adds on, it makes the load time double. It'll be like logging the load, Open Faint. I'm like, okay. - Yeah, which completely defeats the purpose of like picking up an iPhone and running to an app to play a game as fast as possible. - It's true, although there are certain times with my iPhone before I go to bed 'cause that's just the way I operate, that I will play something that's a much longer game like Monkey Island 2 Special Edition, which was on sale. That is an excellent game, by the way. Like the first Monkey Island, it was like-- - They're both a dollar right now. - They were, I think, not anymore, though. - Really? - They're like $2.99 or something. - I'm sure they're glad I jumped that. - But the first one, you played it and it was like really cumbersome, but you played through it, the controls, even though they sucked because you were like, "Oh, this game's still so cool." The second one, though, they've made it totally intuitive. Like, honestly, I would read like a synopsis of the first game and just jump into the second. - Yeah, we'll do that. Like, in real, you don't even really need to read a synopsis, the story is not like that important. (laughing) - No, you can sort of pick it up. - Yeah, and then I know everyone's been playing some sieve still. - Hell yeah. - You can see my review on IGN as well as my video review, and I know that I sound douchey in my video review thing. - You sounded amazing. - People who told me that-- - You sounded sultry. - Why did you sound douchey? - 'Cause I know when we do the IGN video reviews, we have to bring a certain energy. You know, like, if I can't just do it like this, hey, this is me telling you about civilizations. - And douche energy is reliable energy. - That's not energy. So, yes, when I do it, I'm like, "Hey, everyone." - Hey, everybody, Siv5 just came out, and if you've ever wanted to conquer a country, this is the game for you. - I do a lot of Mark Summers, I do a lot of Mark Summers' pauses, and so you can do it now. Like, you know-- - And you wanna wash your hands 'cause you're afraid of germs. - Yeah, yeah, I can't-- - We give it a four. - I can't listen to that shit. - Out of five. (laughing) - But, yeah, so I have a really hard time doing this, so I know that people have been like, I've talked about how I would love to do voice acting in a video game, people are like, "You can't when you gotta do it like that," but that's because that's like, I'm not getting to do a character, I'm getting to do, they want Anthony turned up to 11, and I'm like-- - Well, that's a character. - That is a character. - I would much rather have someone on staff that just does all the video reviews, and I just give them a script and say that I wrote it, you know? - I don't know why we don't, but-- - Me neither. - Civ 5 is one of the most exciting games you'll ever play. (laughing) - But yeah. - So I'm sorry. - Because I mean, if you're supposed to be like, if they're doing it so that to accent the personality of their reviewers, then forcing you to read it in a certain way doesn't actually accent your personality, it just turns you all to sort of a monolith. - Yeah, well-- - Or you're all homogenized in the same voice. - People, yes, people also really hated on my Civ 5 review, so if you wanna go and hate on me too-- - Did you give it a nine, right? - Yeah. - I would not be surprised if you saw a sharp drop in negative comments because Tom chick but up his Civ review, he'd be able to see. - See, I just, I don't know why people hated so much on it, people were just really mean. - It's a fucking nine, much people wrote-- - Much people wrote, this review is too opinionated. He compares it too much to Civ 4, which I said like one thing about Civ 4 in it. - So in the history of-- - Wait, wait. - I can't forget, this is not one of the people's most annoying things in podcasts where we defend our reviews, so you better stop. - No, I thought this was more making fun of the idiots that post comments. - No, we can't talk-- - I don't know, I don't review games about our shit because then we're being defensive. - Oh, well, I'm not, I don't know-- - I don't review games, so I can talk about it. - Yeah, I gave it a nine and I gave it a better just choice because I think it's a really-- - Most of the people-- - Most of the people bitching about your review were probably just sitting there tapping on the table waiting for Amazon to deliver their copy that they purchased months ago anyway, so-- - Oh. - They were waiting for it to unlock on Steam. - For sure, I see. - What you mean? - Yeah. - I mean, it is a fantastic game. - Yeah, you gave it a nine. - I just started a new game a couple of days ago where I did a custom setup and I allied, I'm, well, on Sunday I was actually really proud of myself 'cause I got a cultural victory. - And-- - That is, I told someone that and they were like, bull shit. - What's a cultural victory? - All right, so instead of you can win several different ways. - Okay. - And either by playing like 900 turns and getting to you the year 2050. - And being in the lead. - And being in the lead points. You can win a political victory where you build the UN and then you win enough votes for-- - You don't actually have to build the UN. - Well, someone builds the UN. And then enough people vote for you to be leader of the UN. That's a, you can win a science victory where you have your culture build a bunch of the pieces of a spaceship and you launch it and then you can win a military victory, take people over, and then you can win a cultural victory which is where you complete five of these culture trees. Basically, you just have a society that's like beautiful, full of opera houses, stuff like that. - Mm-hmm. - So you become Canada. - You become Canada. (laughing) - We are Vancouver. - Canada is actually, that's a really good metaphor in a way because cultural victories, they want you to be a much smaller society that's just way more awesome. - Yeah, yeah, the game is actually designed so that like if you expand too much, there's actually kind of a culture tax in a way. It decreases your amount of culture output unless you have enough like buildings to counteract it or whatever. So I actually just started out as the Egyptians 'cause they get a 33% bonus to production on wonders. And so I just like all I did was create one. - Slaves, slaves, it was all slaves. - And-- - True. - Well see, that was one thing in Sephora you could do in Sephora you could adopt slavery to increase your production. - Yeah, and this is just assumed. - Yeah, basically. You don't ask. - Yeah. But that's, I just built like every single wonder I possibly could. I had a very small empire. Oh, and I started on archipelago. So that I wasn't getting attacked. - See, that's the key. Because otherwise someone will be up on your border and be like, and I think Eric, Nair, and the gamespire view put it really well. He's like, if you have a bigger army than everyone else, they'll look at you and be like, "Man, you're so cool," but it, or like, no, no, no. He said if you have the smaller army than anyone else, they look at you and they're like, "Man, you're a bitch." But if you have a bigger army than them, you can fuck their sister and they'll still think you're the coolest guy ever. - You can fuck sisters in this game? - No, he was just making a point that as long as your army's bigger than the computer, they're just like, "Hmm." - Yeah, I'm new to the franchise, so I'm not. - There's no sister fucking. - Well, I'm out. - That's a different, that's the Japanese release of Civ. - Yeah, the Japanese have games where you can marry off people and stuff like that. - So I want a cultural victory. So I've done-- - That's in the next romance on three games. (laughing) - That's a romance on the three games. - That's in this romance, like fucking your sister. (laughing) - So I was going for a military victory, but that Sagan got corrupted 'cause I was still using the early press build. - Oh, and then they released an update that totally borked all your saves? - No. - No? - No, apparently it happened. - Just that one. And then I did the cultural victory. Now I'm going for the science victory and I started as the Babylonians because they seem to be the most science-focused or whatever. But I actually, since it's the actual final build of the game now, I'm like, all right, well, maybe my computer can handle a huge map because before my computer was having a lot of trouble handling the huge maps in the late game, it was really, really chugging. It was even crashing a couple of times. - That's me too. - Yeah, and so I'm like, all right, well, maybe this one can actually handle it. So I started a custom game and I allied myself with the militaristic power. I put, so I put myself and Augustus Caesar on-- - Caesar! - On, yes. - Sorry. - I only-- - I'm surprised the allied with you. - No, I put it that way. Like, it doesn't make team. - In the settings. - I put both of us on team one. - So he just handled all the military. - It's like work, I'm hoping this will happen. But I put it on random map and I think it put us on archipelago again. And so we're like on different islands, so I don't think we're actually going to be able to really help each other. But that's also because I really, really wanted to play a multiplayer game and Anthony wouldn't play with me. So I had to play with it. - I know how that is. - I had already started a game with Eric. And it was going very well. We were fucking Gandhi up. The Uppity Bitch made a fucking move on Eric's little colony. Eric was basically playing super colonist, like going and making one colony on every island. - Can we invoke a house rule not to call activist leaders of oppressed people's Uppity? Uppity bitches. - Well, in food already on the market. - In this game, Gandhi was an Uppity bitch. - I'm sorry, we're fresh out of lemon water. - He was fucking in reality, it was too. - I'm like shit on Gandhi, I don't give a fuck. - Yeah, so he was-- - He won't do anything. - He was a dick in this game, like always attacking everyone. So Eric, he finally attacked one of Eric's bases. And I had all this gold. So I basically paid all the little city states around Gandhi tribute. And I was like, attack Gandhi for me. And they're like, fuck it, we're on it. Fuck that guy. And so all of a sudden his people were just being fucking murdered by all these little countries because he dared to fuck with us. - 'Cause I did win for the cultural victory too, is I got a whole bunch of, I fucked up Gandhi. And then I got a whole bunch of gold and bought off all the cultural city states so that they were like, and you know, it was all very carefully choosing all the right policies for toward culture and that sort of thing. - I like to burn cities down when I take them over in that game. - That's crazy. - I just like making them. And so far I made them puppet states and the little I played yesterday, I was also making them puppet states. - And so far it was your only options were to take it over or to raise it this morning. - I thought you could puppet state it before. - No, no, you could take it over. - You could install a governor though that would auto build. - Yeah, you could auto, you could change the governor to auto build but it isn't quite the same as it is inside. - You guys, you guys look like when you're speaking moon language. - You say puppet states and I just see like a Jim Henson California waving his little noodle on. - It's like Muppet states? - Okay. - It's just like wonder shows and in your head all the time. - I know why I feel like that. A lot of our listeners at least know what Civ looks like. - Yeah, we're the outside is here, trust me. - Well, you've at least seen me playing it so you know what it looks like at the most basic thing. I'm picturing like if you've never seen this. - It looks like a, yeah, it looks like a top of a map. - I know, but I'm saying if you had never seen this I'm just picturing what you'd see in your mind, huh? You would see what he's saying in little noodle arms. - Well, like earlier when you said like you had two countries on two different islands and they couldn't help each other, why don't they use boats? - Eventually, but the whole thing is that when you start at the dawn of time, you haven't figured out sailing it. Takes a long time to figure out sailing. - That's a long way to swim. - Yeah. So eventually when you have-- - So you just start out like retarded with no fire. - You start out, you start out like the very first people that are like, you know what? It's time to slow down and build a town. - Yeah, and the only technology you have is farming. You have to, you have to get-- - 'Cause that's what making humans decide to settle, so you are settled-- - That's obsessed. - And so now you have wooden clubs. - Always comes back. - But you can start a game anywhere. You can start a game in the industrial area. - Yeah. - And just have like guys-- - Which I still haven't done. - Now that I know that, well I knew you could do that, but now that I've tried it, that is like the way to play for me. - Yeah. - It's just, I mean you still play like a six hour game. - Yeah, I love the early game so much. I love having a wide open world to explore. - It's true, fighting for land with people early on, doing land grabs. - It's cool shit, yo. - So outside of Civ, what have you been playing, Matt? - Well I actually meant to mention last week, and I forgot, I went to the Dead Space II multiplayer event a couple of weeks ago. - How was that? I haven't read anything at all about it. - It was surprisingly good. Like I honestly wasn't, I was thinking like all right-- - Is it just death match? - It's gonna be okay, but it's-- - It's humans versus necromorphs. - It's humans versus necromorphs. So it's a little left for dead, a little bit left for dead like. And there's AI necromorphs, but the other players can play, you know, specific classes in necromorphs. - Are they specific, is it like left for dead in the sense that they're trying to get A to B? - There are, the maps that we played, there was only two maps, and they had, they were both objective based, and like the, in one map the humans had to go collect a bunch of parts and bring them back to a central bomb, and then set off the bomb, which would destroy all the necromorphs, and then the necromorphs are just trying to prevent them from doing that. - That's cool. - Yeah, and it's-- - That's a lot better, I thought it was just-- - Does it seem like it's something that should be there, or like-- - Yeah, it does. It's like, it really feels like a fully realized multiplayer, I mean like-- - That's good, 'cause I thought it was gonna be a guy shooting it guys, and really lame. - It's just like forcing me to-- - Although, if it could be guys dismembering guys, that could be kinda cool. - I've seen that movie. (laughing) - I think that's guys dismembering guys. (laughing) - He's talking about dicks. - You've seen that movie. - Talking about banging. - No, no, my favorite gay porn title was always nine inch males. (laughing) - Matt, continue. (laughing) - And not men in black who like to have sex with each other. (laughing) - No, that was a, that one kind of tanked. - So anyway, necromorphs. (laughing) The different classes that you could be were kinda cool. One of them could be if you're a fan of Dead Space, there are these ones that could climb on walls and on ceilings and everything. It had like these three tails that could shoot at you. And that was my favorite one to be 'cause you could really find some hidden locations that you could hit people from. - You could camp. - This sounds way too much like alien sources predators. Please tell me it's not. - But good, yeah. - Good. - Just any excuse. - Any excuse to set Scott off. - Yeah, welcome to our work day. (laughing) - You could just put work in air quotes. - So that the modes always revolve around an objective then? - The maps that we played, yeah. There are gonna be more multiplayer modes and there's gonna be more classes and abilities than we played and you also do upgrade your weapons and everything throughout the, like you level up and you upgrade weapons and you can upgrade-- - Is it like eight players, 10 player? - It's eight player, four and four. And Ryan made the comparison and I thought it was apt that he was like, it reminds me a lot of when Gears first came out because Gears was originally built as a single player game and then they added on multiplayer onto it and then it turned out to actually be pretty good but it was pretty minimal although it was really focused and it was just 4v4 and this is a lot like that and it feels really solid and really compact but a really good experience on top of it. So I think it's totally worth it. Like all the people that have been out there saying like, oh, why are they making multiplayer for Dead Space? That's a game that totally doesn't need multiplayer. And you know, they're right, it doesn't need multiplayer but the multiplayer is actually good. So take it and like it. - That sucks because it only sucks I say because I had intended upon buying Dead Space 2 for PS3. - I know because of the-- - Because I was like, yeah, because it was bundled and I was like, yeah, if it's not gonna have multiplayer and it's gonna be not multiplayer, I don't mind buying non-multiplayer games for my PS3 because I don't play games with people. - And because you're a whore and you want a Dead Space extraction on PS3. - Totally, if it's the same price. - Well, you loved it on Wii, right? - Yeah, Dead Space extraction is a great game. - Yeah, it might be the only game you ever play with a move. - Exactly, yeah, that heavy range is the only one I want to move for. - So I was like, you know, but if I'm gonna make it choice, why not get it on PS3? So now that it has multiplayer, it's like, fuck. - And it's actually a decent multiplayer. I still don't think it's gonna be the kind of thing that people were really gonna play. It's not gonna play. - When does it come out in February? - It's true, people might play for a few weeks. All of us. - Don't play for a few weeks, maybe a couple months or something. - And you know what? No one on PS3 is gonna be playing that game multiplayer because Killzone 2 comes out, or Killzone 3 comes out in February. - Uh, yeah. - Fuck. - But still the thing that I love the most about playing the Necromores is, there was three of them, three different types. I think, yeah, three different types that we were available to play. And two of them, they had like grapple abilities. Like you could jump at the humans, and then you start grappling them, and then you get into a button mashing battle. Like who can slam X the fastest? And it's like, it's supposed to be you, like the human, the human player, their character will usually win unless they're way low on health. So it's supposed to be a tactic where somebody jumps on them and starts biting them and tearing into their flesh and everything, and then the rest of the group is supposed to attack that person at the same time, and kind of just tear them all down water. - Let that go. - Like Raptors. (laughing) - Oh, I got the, I got the, I'll do the reference. - If they wanna do a multiplayer shooter of Jurassic Park, I will play the fuck out of that game. - I got the trap as Raptors. - I got the fucking T-Rex. (laughing) - I would play a Jurassic Park anything at this point. - Yeah. - I would play, I would play a whole game as that sick Traceratops. - Telltale is one of the Jurassic Park. - That's how much I love Jurassic Park. I would go on a date with a girl with a Jurassic Park Yomica. - I will say that the Super Nintendo Jurassic Park game was one of my favorite, was one of my favorite Super Nintendo. - Genesis one of the greatest games. - It was better, but I didn't have a Genesis at the time. - And a Super Nintendo one sucked though, because it was like a 12-hour game, and you couldn't save ever. - Oh yeah, that's right. - So I had to leave my game on for two days, while I beat it. - Oh my God. - Yeah. - Anyone play the Lost World game on PlayStation? - Was it terrible? - It was pretty bad. - Did the thing I liked about-- - Is there something you didn't level? - No, I don't think so. - The Super Nintendo one had first-person parts though, I will say that, if you don't remember. It was the first-person shooter. - Oh yeah, that's right. - Any time you went into a building. - Crazy. - So, now that we talked about games from like, when we were children, are there what have you been playing? - Can you not talk about Cengoku Bissara? - No, I can't talk about it. You can look forward to my comments about Cengoku Bissara. - I had a lot of comments on that. - Cengoku. - You knew when I saw it, yeah. - That's samurai heroes. - That's samurai. - I don't know anything about this game, except every time I look over at Anthony's playing it, I'm like, oh, I guess that's why they call it that. - Yeah. - I don't know, I'm just like, all right, well, that's just-- - Everyone that happens is-- - Cengoku Bissara's used guns in AK-47s. - Yeah, it's like, hey game, are you from Japan or what? (laughing) - We get it. - I've not seen anything that would make me feel any differently than I did after playing it in Hawaii. - Yep, I agree. - And if Hawaii can't make Cengoku Bissara better? - Yep. - Then 2,500 point combos will. - That I guess you'll have to wait to read Anthony's review. - Yeah, October 6th. - Or just go read his review for 99 nights too, and pretend it says 99 nights three. - Or you can read my upcoming reverse samurai warriors three. I basically reviewed so five, and then they were like, we gotta bring that guy back down. (laughing) - 'Cause that's if I review blue. - Yeah, they were, no, that's what Hillary was joking. Our boss was just, 'cause he's like, all right, you finished so five, and now here's samurai warriors three for Wii and Cengoku Bissara. - Knock you off that high horse. Yeah, what, you reviewed basically the biggest PC game of the year, and then they're like, okay. - Well, one of the-- - Back to these fucking mashing. - I guess PC game of the year. - Yeah, Starcraft is bigger. - True. - I thought Excel was. - No, it's Mavis Beacon 3D. (laughing) - Does that exist? - Now it's circles. - Actually, the biggest PC game of the year is probably going to be World of Warcraft cataclysm. - Assuming it comes out this year. - Oh, well. - Is that happening this year? - Yeah. - Oh man, that means I don't get to hang out in my credits, was it really well? - They're gonna lock 'em in the cage. - Usually the dealer likes to let the attic snow a little-- - Starting beta, I mean, then beta for a while. - I can't beta for a while. - Dancing, like, courtesy on my bladder right now. - Arthur, what are you playing that you can speak of? - Uh. - You're playing a shitload of Halo 2 today. - I was playing Halo in Halo 2 today for a video feature. - Halo 1 and Halo 2, right? - Yeah, it's-- - I've been playing a lot more-- - Ranking the Halo campaigns. So Halo has gotten a lot harder. - Really? - Over the last nine years? - We're probably about to control as well. - No, it controls the same. - Why do you think that you've gotten much better headshots? - It's not that bad. - It's not that bad. - World Hot Driving was terrible in the first one. - I actually think the World Hot Driving was a little better in the first one than any of the others, yeah. - Really? - Wow. 'Cause the World Hogs-- - Kind of how it feels the same to me and all of them. - I think starting with Halo 2, they gave each wheel of the World Hot like its own physics. - Its own controller. - Yes, exactly. So they act independently of one another instead of just being like, oh, we're gonna move the single on the ground and you'll see wheels move, you know? - Yeah, pretty much. It was like the Austin Powers car, like in the alley. - But it's like a slot car. - Basically, I'm like a god playing those first two games 'cause I'm just like, oh, here's some plasma pistol. Here's my fist in your face. Pistol shot, plasma fist pistol. Fuck your sister. - Well, what part was that? I mean a-- - Every fucking match. - I mean every other people at IGN talking about how reach definitely changes the formula of Halo in the sense that you're not like go up and punch everyone like you were in the old ones. - Yeah, you can't. And that one in Halo 3, you're kind of a superhero. So, but the armor abilities have really changed the way you have to play a reach and-- - I still punched everyone. - Me too. - Which I learned by doing Halo kills this week and going through like dozens and dozens and dozens of Halo matchmaking videos to find good kills and seeing some just crazy shit, some of which I was showing Althano and Bromley. - The Batman jump was awesome. - Yeah, the Batman jump was awesome. - Basically people go into the highest point and they say it's jumping, landing on an aircraft carrier and whatever, they fucking call those things and blowing it up and taking it over and then the guy sitting on it doesn't even know. - Right, there's one clip called Batman. - Yeah. - And then the description was Batman. - It's weird to be. - What does he do? - And it's a guy jumping off a building. - You know the, you know the spire, like the spire map. So he jumped off the top platform of the spire all the way down and landed on a guy and melee as soon as he connected which broke his fall and killed the dude and he survived and just ran and walked away. - Wow. - And then another guy-- - And as he did, he said-- - Were the trunks. - Yeah. (laughing) - I'm not wearing hockey pants. - Another guy-- - He's leaving good. - Jumped off at the top. Another guy jumped off the top level of the spire charging a plasma pistol shot discharged into a falcon that was flying by, deactivated it and right before he hit the ground killing himself, stuck it with a plasma grenade. - And he jerked off in the top. - One second. - Even better in the description. Where can people see this that you helped? - This will be on IgN.com probably tomorrow or the day after and that killed the three guys inside and there's a bunch of other shit. - So it should be on IgN by the time you hear this podcast. - Right. - You don't know. - We also played entirely too much firefight on Sunday. - It's true, we played a mission that went on for like 98 minutes. - How's that possible? - Because we played it on normal because we were, there was only three of us and not four of us. - And heroic was testing our metal. - Yeah, heroic is kind of crazy. - We should have just kept on heroic though and lost because 98 minutes and we had to basically start setting arbitrary rules for us. Like, "Ha ha, nothing but melee attacks." (laughing) I just run in there and these two weren't doing it. They were just lobbing your nade and shooting machine guns and I'm just taking it in the back while I'm punching all these guys. (laughing) - And just like, yeah, it's just, the Halo is still a hell of a lot of fun and firefight's network code is much better. - Although it'll still get fucked sometimes. - Yeah, if you do something silly like fire or fuel rod cannon, it'll pretty much annihilate everyone's network connection. I also have been playing Gladiator Begins on PSP for review. - Did it begin? - It began a long time ago. - It certainly has ended. - Good. - All the two have murdered son. I was been two have murdered wife. I will have my vengeance. Stay in the next. - Are you a reporter? - The only good part about that Gladiator game from watching over at their shoulder is the random name generator. - Yes, so I, thinking fuck this game, I'm just gonna let it come up with a name 'cause I'm not gonna invest anything in it. The very first name that's suggested to my Greek gladiator with a Russell Crowe build was Jenna Tannis. (laughing) - Shut up. - So it looks like Jenna Dole's combined with anus. Jenna Tannis. - Yes. - So with that Jenna Tannis selling forth under the world of the gladiator. - Are you sure it's not Jenna Tannis? - No, I'm pretty sure it's Jenna Tannis. - Gelatinous taint? - Gelatinous? There we go. No, it's Jenna Tannis. - You should work for the name generator. - So yeah. - If this shit ever stops working for you. - It's got a really rudimentary character customization. Like the difference between a normal female and a muscular female is larger breasts. - I feel like-- - Like in real life. - I feel like the female character is vaginous. - I was gonna say, I feel like maybe the guys at the team, the guys, well, I need you to come up with 100 names in the random, fuck, I don't know, scroticus. - Yeah. (laughing) - Scroticus. (laughing) - Labium. - Yep. (laughing) - Majoriolinitis. - Majoriolinitis. (laughing) - Exactly, we're just putting just with that in the US on the end of it. Dickicus. (laughing) - Cockmandius. (laughing) - Anyway, it seems like there would be more to it, but it's all just taste. (laughing) - Wait, that's a real one. - That's a real one. - He died, okay, don't make fun of that guy. He died for our syphilis. - Syphilis. - Syphilis. - Syphilis. - Syphilis. - That sounds like a children's candy. - Testicles. - Testicles. - Testicles. - Yeah, testicles. - Sounds like a children's candy. - Yeah, he was the father. - My father hurts. (laughing) - Okay. (laughing) - I'll just leave that there. - It's the only children's candy that makes you go blind. (laughing) My nose is rotting off. (laughing) It's got a lot of weapons you can be, you can do various fighting styles. - Oh, that's a fuck. - You knock people's armor off and shit. - You sounded like the saddest PR person turns off. (laughing) - Just so you know, it's got a lot of weapons. (laughing) - I mean, it sounds like-- - It sounds like-- - It's got five, the PSP's still around. - It sounds like-- - It sounds like a press release, but that is pretty much all the game is, because there's no real story. Like, eventually it makes some insinuation to story, but you don't care because all it means is that you're fighting more guys. - It just sucks when one of the things that you can say about it that's not negativism. I love weapons. - Is this a game that you threw the PSP across the room? - Multiple times. (laughing) - Not across the room. - Across my desk. (laughing) - A lot of games that get tams due to that though. - I believe, I believe more than once, the words fuck this game left my mouth. (laughing) Yeah, it's not, it's not that it's super bad. It's just that it's not very well balanced. - It's just not fun. - It's super repetitive. I mean, if you really like it, there's a lot of game there. You start up, you start out as a slave in debt with like a million gold to work off. And the most you might expect to win in a match at the beginning is like a hundred. So you're like, well, it's gonna be a slave forever. And eventually you start earning more gold and it accelerates. But I played it for about 12 or 13 hours and I was down to like 540,000 gold. And that's still a lot. That's a lot. - That's a lot of gold. - That is a lot of gold. I was still definitely a slave. - That's a lot of gladiator games. - And then like... - PSP. - Yeah. - I just can't, I don't even mark this. - At some point, randomly you're fighting dudes from Egypt that fight like fucking Voldo and Soulcalibur. And that is the point where I'm like, you know what? Fuck this game. Fuck it right. It's here. - The older games, I'd rather go and play than that shit. - Seriously. - It sounds awful. - This just sounds bad. - Actually, I'd rather be an actual gladiator. - I was gonna say, it sounds bad. - Seriously. - Because it's not that terrible. - I'd rather be stabbed in the balls with a trident. - Of a made game. But if we were to get games in IGN on how we would recommend them to people instead of like, you know, this game is terrible. - Not terrible. - But the thing is, it's not a terrible game. - But we don't review them. - No, but I'm saying, well, I'm saying, it's not an awfully made game. Like the quality of the game is an awful thing. - Right. - But under what circumstance would you ever tell your friend to get this gladiator? - If you've fallen a well and there's like nothing else to do. - No, even if I was one of those Chilean miners, I'd be like, fuck you guys. Where's the UMD porn? - Well, they'd send that down and I'd be like, can I get a DS or something? Can I get a phone? - No. - Like, you know I'm buried in rubble. - Yeah, let me make a phone call. - I'm gonna play this trash. - Like buried underground. - I would rather pretend to make a phone call buried underground. - Phone call walking on the street, motherfucker. - I can't have my phone because I live in San Francisco and I have an iPhone. - Right. - But I'd rather be in a well with an iPhone than that gladiator game. I'd rather be in a well than reviewing that gladiator game. - There it is. So yeah, it's just not very good. I'm supposed to go play Medal of Honor tomorrow. That doesn't really do me any good here. - Speaking of amazing first-person shooters, I recently played GoldenEye for Wii. Little game I don't know if you guys have heard of it. - I played all of these games. - I wanna know. - I wanna know. - I played a lot of books on it. - You is a person that loved GoldenEye back in the day. - Yeah. - And you is a person who will occasionally play games on their Wii. - Yeah. - How do you feel about this? - Not terrible. I mean, it's a... - As opposed to faking gay. - Well, I hate starting these conversations with the barometer. - Yeah, but if I have-- - Well, for the Wii, it's-- - But you don't know nostalgia. - Oh, so you don't want to take this to the special Olympics right away. - Right off the bat. - You don't have no nostalgia for this game. Would it even be worth playing? - Well, actually, it's fucked with my nostalgia because I love the facility. That was like my favorite level back in the day. Like, I-- - Oh, you mean the level that you can finish and not actually complete your objectives and have to do the whole thing all over again? - Yeah, if you're terrible. - Yeah. - But I always said that if I was a billionaire and I just had stupid cocaine money to throw around, I would rebuild the facility and just have my friends have paintball matches in it, like real ones. - Most people would quit IGN, but that works too. - Oh, he-- - Oh, no. I would still come to work and just laugh at you idiots. All the way. - That's what it sounds like your day. [laughter] - Sounds like what I do. - You have to play off the game. - You have to play off the game. - Ah, you get to play off the game. - You get to play off the game. - I'm glad you eat her game. - I sleep in a race car bed. - You're playing Dead Rising 2 fucking minigames. - I'd have a fucking ball pit in my cubicle. It'd be great. I'd just be laughing at you guys. - I'm pretty sure that's what you are doing. - So, I jump in the facility and immediately I'm like, this is not a fucking bathroom connected to a science facility. This is like the corner of a men's warehouse. It was just awful. And it's just like a little steam pipe in the corner. - Did you like the way you look? [laughter] - Could you play with a classic controller? - I did. They forced everyone at this event to play with a classic controller, which is so like weird cycle of life that like we were like, "Hey, first person shooter is going to be awesome on Wii. Hey, no one made any. Hey, let's just make one that's better with a classic controller." - That's bullshit. - People tried to do the first person shooter on Wii and they all sucked. - Three people tried. - Two of you work at Nintendo. - Two of you work at Nintendo. - Two of you work at Nintendo. - Two of you work at Nintendo. - Two of you work at Nintendo. - Two of you work at Nintendo. - Two of you work at Nintendo. - Two of you work at Nintendo. - Two of you work at Nintendo. - Two of you work at Nintendo. - Two of you work at Nintendo. - Two of you work at Nintendo. - Two of you work at Nintendo. - Two of you work at Nintendo. - Two of you work at Nintendo. - Two of you work at Nintendo. - Two of you work at Nintendo. - Two of you work at Nintendo. - Two of you work at Nintendo. - Two of you work at Nintendo. - Two of you work at Nintendo. - Two of you work at Nintendo. - Two of you work at Nintendo. - Two of you work at Nintendo. - Three of you work at Nintendo. - Three of you work at Nintendo. - Three of you work at Nintendo. - 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