Rebel FM
Rebel FM Episode 68 - 07/15/10
This week we recorded in spaaaaaaaaace! At least, that's what it sounds like when we recorded at the IGN offices with IGN Editor Dave Clayman and the usual knuckleheads. This week we talk about the Cataclysm Beta, Captain Blood, a horde of Twitter topics, and close out with a few letters rubbed all over everyone's knees.
This week's music, in order of appearance:
Nine Inch Nails - Ruiner;
Bush - Come Down;
Foo Fighters - Everlong
[MUSIC] Hello and welcome to Rebel FM episode 68. My name is Anthony. I go with me is Arthur Geese. >> Now you know what fucking episode it is. >> Tyler Barber. >> Yeah, me now. >> And then Masha Angelini. >> Oh God. >> And then IgN's David Klayman. >> Hello. >> Known for the very famous IgN's through lights podcast. Is it? >> Yeah. >> And Barry Schwartz. >> And for being Barry Schwartz. >> Cover model of American dickhead man. >> But more importantly, he's me and Arthur's boss. >> That's true, for now. >> Yeah, I was. In my heart, you still are. >> What is the boss of your heart? >> For now, I'm gonna call you boss. >> Yeah, so ostensibly boss, we talk about video games here. I don't know, I'm not really used to that. So, well, what games have you actually been playing lately? >> Games have been gaming. Yeah, I played a little crackdown too, unfortunately. >> No. >> Actually oddly enough, I went back and started playing a bunch of Mizoguchi games because I wanted to be playing child of Eden. So, I do that whenever there's a hot new game coming out, I go and play the back catalog of the developer, because I wish that I was playing the hot new game. >> I know that feeling. >> Like what? >> Yeah, what besides Rez? >> Rez, and I guess I'm always playing Luminous, so I don't know if that really counts. But I was playing it on XBLA, and it's not as good there, but I still like it on the big screen. >> Yeah, is it not as good on XBLA? >> If you're a Luminous power player, it's the D-pad really gets you for the precision drops. Yeah, really does. >> So did you buy a fight pad so you could really play it? >> I didn't try a fight stick actually, because I'm very serious about my Luminous. >> Jesus. >> It's not the same. >> It's still battalion controller Luminous. >> I got used to the PSP controls, like really-- >> I actually play Luminous with a dance dance revolution pad. >> I can't wait to play it with Connector. I just swipe the pieces all over the place. >> Oh, God. >> I just have a rave. >> And what else? >> Did you play every extend extra extreme? >> Oh, yeah, and I played that, but I only played one game, but it lasted for eight days. >> Yeah, exactly. >> [LAUGHTER] >> I sort of forgot that the game isn't supposed to end. >> Mm-hmm. >> You know that Matt actually named his company after Reth? >> Really? >> We did. >> 35. >> Yes, but I've said that like a million times on this podcast. >> Reth, Dave didn't know. >> That's true. >> It's new to Dave, yes. >> Our company Area 5, it's named after the last area of Reth. >> That's all. >> That game Every Extend Extra has some of my favorite cover art. >> Extreme. >> Every extreme extra. That's one of my favorite cover of art of any game. And like advertising art, just their typography is badass. And they have, I guess, the signature image is like, it looks like a rainbow ribbon, how I would describe it. >> Oh, it's not the space llama, I guess I'm going to do it. >> It's like formed into a face. >> Yeah, yeah. >> OK. >> I like that a lot. That's cool. It's also the menu in the game too for people who just got the XBLA version. >> I just love all the random digital nonsense in his games too. >> Yeah. >> Little robot voices talking to you and stuff in Splode. It's like, you know, artsy digital craft nonsense. It was great. So, I guess I was mad, I don't know. >> Nothing. >> Not a whole lot, no. >> Not enjoying Crackdown too? >> No. When I say I played that, I mean, I tried it. >> Yeah. >> You know, whatever. [LAUGHTER] >> That would be my full review. [LAUGHTER] >> I don't feel passionately about it either way. Yeah, actually. >> Yeah, man, I got it in the mail yesterday. >> Right, they sent out physical copies, finally. >> Oh, man, I played about, you know, here goes my anecdote on Crackdown too, I was playing. And the battery of my controller ran out. And I was just like, I'm done. [LAUGHTER] Didn't even want to change the battery out and keep going. >> Right, I think Crackdown too either by two or it doesn't. And even if it does bite you, you might not necessarily enjoy your time with it. It's just like, I gotta get my fix. I gotta get my orbs, my orbs, my orbs, and my orb at. >> Oh god, it's a co-op orb, I have to talk to you. >> It's like, did she guys ever eat those chips pizzerias when you were a kid? >> They were rolled, they were rolled? >> Yeah, they were like instant throw up. I mean, you would eat a bag and you would throw out. As you were like eating just pizzerias, you'd just feel kind of gross afterwards. >> My sister did that with 4-inch Doritos when she was younger. If she had the 4-inch Doritos, she'd keep eating until she vomited so she couldn't have them. (laughing) She's addicted to the core, actually. >> I like the vibe that Dave is bringing to the podcast already. >> Vomit. (laughing) >> Bijan Purge. >> Matt, what have you been hitting up in the last? >> Well, I hit up Transformers, but apparently-- >> No, no, no. >> Your listeners are really upset for the Transformers talk. >> One guy. >> So I won't talk about Transformers. >> Well, you played with Jay, right? That's what you're talking about. >> I did, I played with Jay for us. So I am going to talk about Transformers. >> The Avatar looked very excited. (laughing) >> They were jumping around and transforming the Joy. >> Oh god, I wish my Avatar did that. >> Dude, I totally buy a transformer outfit if my Avatar could actually transform. 'Cause like with my Xbox Avatar, I purposely created the most ugly, hideous Avatar I could possibly imagine. >> And you succeeded, sir. >> I'm pretty proud of it, actually. And if that thing could transform, I would like to see it just to see what it could fucking transform into a piece of crap. (laughing) >> That's a good one. >> With corn, you know. (laughing) >> For the Incant Me Go Bots versus Rock Ward game. >> Oh, Jesus. >> Yes. (laughing) >> I made the poo-pourds. >> So you guys are playing campaign though, right? >> Yeah, yeah, we're playing campaign co-op. Fun. I'm a much stronger game than I expected it to be, even after all of Arthur's praise on the podcast, Arthur and Tyler's praise, I was like, "I don't know." I mean, I'm still a little skeptical, but I impulse-potted at the story of the day, and I'm really glad I did. >> Yeah, I played that a little bit, and-- >> That game's hard. >> It is, it will kill you at the drop of a hat in certain spots. >> Yeah. >> What's up with that? And I know that I really like the boss battles. >> Me, Arthur and Tyler and Matt and I, when we were all in the store, we're talking about it, and we all agreed that ammo's kind of hard to come by a lot of times. >> It is. >> Again, I mean, the thing is, it doesn't want you to shoot all the time. You should be smashing things as often as you shoot things. >> Right, but that's hard to do unless you have the dash move. It's hard to like get up to things and smash them effectively without having the dash move. >> And that's why I'll always only pick the ones who have the dash. >> I haven't noticed that the suggested transformer for each mission, the one it starts on, always seems to have dash. >> No, Megatron doesn't have dash. >> It doesn't it suggest Brawl on the first Septicons campaign? >> Oh, I don't remember. >> On the very first level. >> Yeah, that's right. >> But then after that, never. It's always Megatron. >> But I-- >> Fuck Megatron, too good a dash. >> Seriously, Optimus Prime, like using Optimus Prime, I was like, 'cause I was playing the Decepticons and I played, I started at the beginning Decepticons through the Autobots and I tried all the different Decepticons that I could 'cause I wanted to see how they played and like, at the end of it, when I first got in and I was like fuck, I'm just gonna go straight for Optimus Prime, you know, like, get grad to the good stuff. And he's awesome. He has like the perfect combination of weapons and moves and everything, like that guy fucking rules. He's like the, he's like my, definitely my favorite one to control. >> Yeah, I feel the same way. And like, I wasn't one of the ones who loved Optimus as like, he wasn't my favorite Autobot. I mean, nothing like I hated on him. >> You were one of those stone-hearted people that didn't cry when Optimus Prime died. >> No, no, I was one of those guys. But you know, like-- >> Jim Riley sobbing at the bottom of his bunk. >> He's fine. >> I feel like you're not American, Tyler. >> He hasn't realized that my favorite Autobot. I mean, come on, there were like much more ones. Side swipe. >> You're a Rodimus Prime guy. >> Ooh, snap. >> I liked Side Swipe and his, who was the yellow one? The yellow Lamborghini? His friend. >> Oh, I don't know. >> Side Swipe and somebody. Those two were my favorite Autobots. >> Nobody cares a kiss. (laughing) Man, Optimus was like the only Autobot I liked. >> Optimus is my hero. >> I thought it was kind of goofy because you get Optimus Prime and then other guys. And I was like, why, who's going in there and not picking Optimus Prime? >> I mean, just ratchet once or twice. Or not ratchet, but Ironhide. I like Ironhide. >> I mean, Star, whatever the fuck they are. I have their, they have Transformers, fans have their favorites, but you know you're short-changing yourself. >> The only thing they're thinking of is Prime. >> True. >> Bump me out about the Autobot campaign. It's just that you can only use jet fire for well level. Like, I wanted more flying levels. >> Yeah, I have the jet fire one. But it was the same thing in Decepticons when you only use Starscream for one level. >> I'll play the weaver version of the Jets. >> I get it. >> Just play the weaver version. >> Oh, God. >> I did play the weaver version. Remember, I reviewed that piece of crap. >> I guess the idea is just that with the flying ones, it'd be really easy for players to break the level if they could go everywhere flying. >> Oh, hey, guys. Arthur, we really appreciate that you wrote one of the highest traffic reviews of the year. Now, could you review the steaming pile of shit for us? >> You know, you don't get to choose. [laughter] That's your job. >> He has to play the bad one first. >> Yeah, everyone's reviewed some steaming piles. Dave, didn't you back in the day, didn't you review rug warrior? Or did you just play it for fun? >> No, I played it for fun. Okay, I remember at work, I would just see Dave playing that. I took an in-office vacation for today. >> If you set up an online dating profile, would you just list pounding yourself in the balls as hard as you can, is one of your interests? >> I'm an honest man, so, yeah. >> Did you actually beat rug warrior? >> Yeah, it ends with a-- >> Playful faces! >> It took a whole two and a half hours or something. >> If you really enjoyed the fiction, there are a series of books that can come-- >> I know, I know, I have them all because my roommate attended all of the rug warrior events back when they were pimping that game. >> Hey, the guy at Dick Marchenko, is he Polish? >> Yes. >> He's like, yeah, isn't he like-- >> He's like a hero. >> He's like my dad, you know? >> Yeah, he's like a badass old man. Yes, he's my hero. >> The founder of Seal Team 6. >> I don't know, man. >> He says everything's true in that game. He says he did all of it. >> The book's insane. >> He said one time that he killed someone with a sock. >> Yep, and then shoved it into their mouth until they died. >> And then went to a bar and banged 12 girls, you know? >> What? >> His stories are-- >> I think his favorite term is big-titted blondes. >> Yes. [LAUGHTER] >> He doesn't really-- >> I wrote some of his books. >> You're saying he's a character. >> That he is. >> But anyways, yeah, back in the day, I used to review the hunting games, all the car battle games. >> Oh, wow. >> Yeah, he can look up some real winners back in-- >> All the kabbalas big game, Hunter. >> Yeah, all the fishing ones. I had a papala guy call me and be like, so how can we make our games better? I was like, well, there's a ton of stuff you could do. I mean, let's go back to the Sega fishing games. Those were awesome, right? So you could do this, and this, and he's like, well, yeah, but we don't-- I'm saying how can we make them better for $0? And I was like, what? [LAUGHTER] It's like, I don't know. Do nothing because-- >> Make a different game? >> Yeah. >> Oh, man. >> Let me shoot the fish. [LAUGHTER] Automatic one-point hire. >> You play as the fish. I just made you a billion dollars. >> Fish Hunter, Camilla's fish hunter. Let me swing a fishing hook at a deer. >> A point hire. >> Yeah. No, dead man's hand. That was a sweet review. Dead man's hand? I've never even heard of that game. >> People say that the Western was not attacked in video games before Red Dead, but it was. It was called Dead Man's Hand. It was awful. >> Wasn't that an Xbox game? >> Yeah. Yeah, OK, everybody. >> Wow. >> Did you play Call of War has bound blood, I'm sure? >> A little bit. It was really good. >> I liked it. I liked the game a lot. >> Very atmospheric. >> Yeah. What did they use that engine for? >> Sniper. >> Yes. >> How was that? >> That was a march of shame. [LAUGHTER] >> A shame factory. >> This is full of shame tarp. >> You don't have a game where enemies can see you from literally a kilometer away and a shitload of invisible walls to prevent you from going anywhere, but the clearly marked path in the center of the screen. And that is exactly what Sniper did, which resulted in a resounding meh according to our scale, apparently. So meh it was. [LAUGHTER] >> Matt, what else have you been playing then besides? >> Well, I had the unfortunate experience of receiving a wow cataclysm beta invite. >> Why is it bad that it makes you want to play again? >> Exactly. Bad in that I'm like, I see the email. And the first thing I do is I go, OK, I go, oh, fuck. >> It's like the golf ball is for you. They just keep pulling your baton. >> So did you roll a goblin? >> I did. >> I rolled a goblin rogue. >> Yeah. >> You can fit in with the gank squad when we started. >> That's the idea. The gank squad. >> Yeah, the plan is when cataclysm comes out, like me and five other people are going to start a group of super racist goblins. We don't like any other of the horde races. >> Oh, wasn't the idea fake racism? >> Yes, fake racism. >> And wasn't the idea to-- >> Sorry, Dave's just thinking you're going to be sitting there spouting on these racial-- I'm finding it a lot out about Anthony. >> I didn't know this podcast, I used racial slurs. >> No. >> We are marked as explicit. >> No, no, no, I just want to talk-- I just want to make up slurs about orcs and stuff like that. And then use-- basically, I'm saying-- >> What do you want to you already have? >> I'm saying I want to be a nerd in role-playing. That's what I'm basically saying. >> Yeah, like in the elder scrolls. There's lots of racist slurs and things. >> Exactly. >> And wasn't the idea that, like, you know, we'd all-- we'd all be all rogues that would be invisible. >> All rogues that we could walk around invisible and then just pop and kill people in ruin their days. >> Yep. >> That is the squad. >> You should call yourself the lollipop gang, you know, because you're short. >> Wouldn't that be a gnome, no, like a gnome issue? >> I guess that would be more gnome. >> And you guys show up out of nowhere? You remember the scene, you know, and they were, like, growing out of that flowers and stuff. >> It's true. >> So what was it like? Is the playing as a goblin in a horror movie? >> It's a-- it's not-- >> Or is the goblin starting zone cool? >> The goblin starting zone is awesome. I mean, like, I'm in the area now, you know how-- it's-- they definitely took, you know, what they learned in the last couple of expansions and that you have your starting areas gets you through level 20 and then you get into the main world or whatever. And I'm still in that, I'm in the level-- I'm like level 13 or whatever, so I'm past like the noob area and I'm into like the low zone area. And I want to-- I almost said like mid-level area, but with 82 levels now or 85 levels or whatever, then like mid zone is a lot-- >> Yeah, if you didn't get to like level 13 now, are you were doing it wrong? >> Yeah, exactly. >> You're not trying to be the guy that hits 85 before the bait is over. >> Fuck, no, god no. >> But the-- that's my thing about like the way that the starting zones are though, is that you go through them so fast, it almost feels like a waste of art resources. I'm like, really, you like spent time on this because I just went through the whole thing in five minutes. But like, there's all kinds of really cool shit that happens. I mean like-- >> You can take that shit to Dungeons & Dragons online, okay? >> I had heard that the goblin starting area has like a-- a starting quest line, kind of like the death night stuff where it has like a story to tell. >> It does. >> And it kind of like introduces you to their whole lore. >> Yeah. >> In a really clever way. >> And it does. >> And it does. >> Do you know what the worgen? >> I don't know. >> I haven't started the worgen yet, but the worgen apparently you're like not completely finished yet either. So like the goblins are more finished than the worgen. But I-- like the whole starting zone here, I mean like you destroy the area that you're in, the entire continent island that you're on twice, as a goblin. I mean like they totally embrace the fact that goblins are like this ridiculously self-destructive race. And you're on this island because you're mining this resource because the goblins are normally stupid, but they have this resource that they make this fizzy soda drink out of that actually gives them ideas when they drink it. And so it's like right in the beginning, it's like-- >> It's like LSD. >> So you'll find these like little-- >> LSD. >> Yeah, you'll find like these cans of soda around the island. And you click on it and then like if you drink one in your inventory, you randomly yell out like in the yell channel, you know? Like some random idea. And then it'll be like sticks with laser beams on them. I've got it. >> And then like somebody-- then like you'll just see a yell from somewhere else, somebody will just like, "Eureka, a car with flying horns!" You know? It's just like it looks like-- it's almost like they put together, you know, like one of those things you find on a web that's like a random sentence string or an insert word here, that kind of thing. And it's really, really cool. Like they really like just-- they're like, all right, we've done all the serious kind of fantasy stuff or whatever. And the goblins we're just going to be as totally fucking crazy as we can be. And it's really, really enjoyable because of it. >> And they can do the soldier boy, right? >> The soldier boy? >> They can dance. >> Yeah, they can. >> They can? >> Yeah. >> I didn't even notice. That man-- I'm glad you mentioned that because like-- >> This is why Matt's fucking world. >> He did. Because it's like one of the first things I did when I would go in and like do a new race, I'd do dance and check out their dance moves and be like, "What can they do?" >> Yeah. >> But yeah, I didn't even think of that. I think the goblin kind of does the soldier boy. >> Yeah, it's so cool. [LAUGHTER] >> Man, everything you're mentioning sounds like right up my alley like self-destructive, addictive Tourette's like dancing. >> Now if it were just in a game that wasn't world of Warcraft. >> Exactly. That's what I'm saying. That's why they're going to make the ultimate like fantasy racist squad of just asshole insane ruined nature. I'm going to love it. >> But that's like the-- the lizard is totally figured out, you know, that grinding sucks, and that everybody hates grinding. So we're just going to like rocket you through the game as quick as possible. You know, it feels a lot-- it feels like these levels up until you get to the end game, I really think especially when they release Cataclysm, it's going to feel like a single player RPG the whole way through. Because they've got this, you know, this zone, I don't know what you call it, like zone changing system, where after you complete a certain quest, then the zone changes for you. And like you can go into part instance completely evolves to fit your level, right? >> Exactly, yeah. And other people that aren't there yet just don't see you even if you're sort of physically in the same space or whatever. And that's a really cool concept. And it's the one thing that MMOs have always been missing. And they sort of embrace the fact that levels one to now to 85, levels one to 85 are like one game. And then there's a totally different game once you hit level 85 that's like old school, grind your way to victory kind of thing. And I like that, you know, and I'm looking forward to Cataclysm because they not only have these new starting races, but they've changed all of the mid-level stuff too. You know, like old Azeroth has been really heavily modified so that the zones that you used to go into and like, oh fuck, you know, when you start a hard character you're like, oh fuck, I have to go into the barons and play the barons for the next 20 levels. I can't believe this shit, this stuff is so old. And finally, they've thrown all that stuff out and you can fly in the old world. I mean, like, there's a lot of cool stuff that they're going to do. I'm looking forward to getting out of this, the level 20 and below zone to see what I can see of the new changes. - Well, this is like the idea that people used to have. Like, we're going to be really cool if they had world changing events in MMOs. But how do you approach that? - And it's a lot of just doing it. - But it's a lot more complicated than let's just change the world, like, you know, the Matrix style, which was, you know, the Matrix style and style. It involves those, like, you know, areas that only you can see if you're at a certain level and it's tricky. And they've finally done it correctly. - Can you imagine, like what the news coverage will be like, the day they finally shut down the world of Warcraft servers? - Well, here's what I think is going on. Here's my theory, and this is going to prove true, is that the cataclysm, and they lead into it, I mean. - It's only Nostradamus though. - They lead into it. Like, if you're kind of following the world, I'm sure I'm not the only one to think of this, but I don't, like, read any of the wow sites or anything. So I think this is totally original. But that this whole thing is leading up to the entire destruction of the world, and that all of the races that are in wow right now are going to flee through some dimensional portter into some new area and some new world, and that's going to be wow two. Like, I think cataclysm is the first step, or maybe the last step in wow's epic history, and it's just going to be all blown up and destroyed, and that's going to be the end of it. And if you want to play-- - Well, if you want to play-- - to make some way to move on. - The old world. - You just, like, said the nightmare of every Activision executive in existence, right? - And let's get everyone to switch over to wow two. - Yeah, no, well, what'll happen is that, like, you know, wow one and wow two will transition, 'cause Blizzard doesn't have any problem throwing all kinds of money into resources to make transitions between games seamless. So I mean, like, it wouldn't be a problem. Like, if people still want to play wow, I'm sure they'll still let the wow servers be up. And then it's like, if you want to transition into wow two, then, you know, maybe there's even a quest line that leads you from one end to the other. - Yeah, it won't be wow two. It'll just be wow, whatever the name of the new land is. - Yeah, wow. - You know, like, wow, man tuck it, right? (laughing) - Wow, Rhode Island. - It just won't be an Azeroth anymore. - It was funny when we were talking about it, and we were discussing a lot of the goblin stuff. I could almost quite literally see Tyler and Arthur, like, going over their, like, grocery list in their head. - I could do some tomatoes. (laughing) - I mean, some mozzarella. - No, what I want to know is if Matt is a little bitter, that all this is coming along, right, as he's getting back into a relationship. (laughing) - No, because, like, one of the things that I really enjoy about Blizzard's evolving game design is, like I said, they're making things quicker. You know, it's like, if you want to, yes, you can go spend four hours rating in a dungeon, but now I can play this game. I can go in, I can play for three hours, get a really satisfying experience and leave, or, you know, just one hour or whatever. And it's the kind of thing where, yeah, they still have some quests that are, like, group specific, but up until you get until the end of the game, or unless you really want to tack an instance early on, you never really have to group with anybody. You can just keep playing the game and keep, like, leveling up and gaining power and stuff like that. And like I said, in that sense, it still feels like a single player RPG, which is the part of the game that I actually enjoy the most. - Me too. Well, I was always been the easiest MMO to log out of, which has been the nicest thing about it. - And they've only made that better. - I like it in the sense that I can chat with people, but it's never been the type of game where I felt compelled, like, a half-group with people, and that's always been great. - Up until the end game, anyway. So that's it for me. - Tyler. - So in addition to Crackdown 2, I checked out this pretty cool, like, flash game on newgrounds.com, everyone's familiar with. The name of the game is called Coma, C-O-M-A, like a Coma that you are Comatose in. - Thank you for that celebration. (laughing) - You know, I don't know. But... - You're warm. - So the cool thing about this game is it's just sort of a 2D side-scrolling, like puzzle platformer. It's not like platform intensive, and it's not even really puzzle intensive. The whole thing is it's like a really beautiful and pretty sounding game. That's the whole sort of draw to it. I mean, it's not gonna rack your brain to solve anything. It's just a really, really cool animation. Every little scene has a, it's got a very like story-tale storybook sort of illustrative look to it. It looks very like vector art, and just played that a little bit. It's pretty cool. They do some really neat stuff with like lighting, and it's fun. - It sounds cool. - I recommend it, newgrounds. It's free. - It's nice. - Easy to go. - Free on that. - Yeah, damn. - Yeah. - Sold. - But yeah, it's got a lot of personality, too. And then, crack down, too. Which, I don't know, man. Playing that game. You know, it's always easy to recommend sequels that we're not excited about to newcomers. You know? Oh, if you never played the first one, play a sequel. I don't know if I would say that in this case. - I still think I would. If you just don't even bother playing the first one, just jump into this one. How much crack down two of you played? - Like, I mean, I'm like a skill level three and like agility and stuff. I've played those three or four hours. - I mean, here's the number one. - I think I'm a Tyler on this one. - Still go for the first one. - The platforming is just, it's worse. The platforming is worse and crack down two than it was and crack down one. - I mean, you've probably played the most, Arthur. - I think actually Matt has probably played a little bit more than that. - Do you guys still think he'd say go with the first one? - I think it's negligible. I don't think it matters. - Yeah, exactly. - Yeah, and so then it's, yeah. - I think they're more interesting goals in the first game than there are in the second one. - There are, but you know, if you, I guess if you were really into the four player co-op. - That could be the big drop in maybe. If you can find people that would actually play it with you. - Yeah. - Even then, I mean, like when I was playing through some of the missions and you know, you get that shotgun that like pushes everybody away. - The UV shotgun. - It's like push everybody away. - Well, you know, like enemies and stuff. - Yeah, I like it. - Yeah, I mean, it's fun and all, but I mean, in my first mission, I was like shooting like 30 zombies at a time, just up in the air. And I just felt like I was like kind of like sweeping or something, like playing like clean up the game. Like if it was just not a gun and-- - And it's like the dust bunnies just keep coming. - Yeah, and they're not even threatening. You know, I'm just kind of slightly annoyed by them. - No, they are if you put it on a harder difficulty. - I could imagine, but-- - I don't feel like they're the kind of enemies that are more fun if they're more hard. - No, they wouldn't be. Actually, it would be super annoying 'cause like the fact that they are kind of just nothing and just there at night means that they don't really impede the real fun of the game, which is the movement. I mean, that that game has all about like, you know, getting you around the city in bigger and better ways than you ever thought that you could in this kind of game, you know. - Cracking. - So it did inspire me to go beat the Chromorax in Borderlands. - Actually, nice. I was like, I'm bored. I want to do something fun. - That's like the one thing you never did in Borderlands, right? - Yeah, it was the last thing. And now I'm so empty inside. - Did you play all the DLC? - Oh yeah. - Did you play all the way through Madmoxie? - No, I might go back and do that though. That just sucked so badly. - It did. Madmoxie. - But now, if I beat the Chromorax and I have sweet, pearlescent weapons, it's probably a lot better. - Doesn't it? - Scale. - Yeah, but the weapons you get are pretty awesome. - Yeah. - Shotgun was a grenade launcher. I mean, come on. - Madmoxie is just like such a ridiculous time sink. - The music's great though. - Yeah, Madmoxie was the one I never played, but the other two are fantastic. - It's garbage. I played it for a long time. - I didn't play 'cause I watched Arthur play and he looked miserable. But yeah. - Yeah, I was doing it for work. - So yeah, that was my review of Crackdown too. (laughing) - I was playing Borderlands for Borderlands. - Borderlands is awesome. - I'm giving this a seven thing 'cause it convinced me to finish Borderlands. (laughing) - Man. - Nothing else, Tyler? - Nah, I just thought of something about coma that I didn't say that I thought was really cool that people might wanna hear about. I forgot why I thought this game was cool and then I remembered. - It's good. (laughing) - Sorry. - I wanna know. - Please tell us. - So you're just like this little like you look like a tick with like kind of like Rayman arms that just kind of float. So you walk up to this little ferry and it knows you. And it's saying your whole goal in the game is you're trying to rescue your sister from your dad who is like trying to suffocate her so he can like eat her. And then you gotta like walk up to your dad but then the ferry tells you not to let your dad know that you know that he has your sister. - Right. - It's got like little dialogue boxes you can click on. - I have a very important question for you, Tyler. - We got to mention that. - Were you high when you were playing this game? (laughing) - It's a real game. (laughing) - It is a real game. It's funny. - Feel high points then probably. - The premise is kind of awesome actually. - Yes. - That's intense. - Yeah, it's neat. And when you like run up to little things, you know, their little dialogue boxes are, you know, the writing in them is, it's really funny. But yeah, I just thought it had this really weird dark pinch to it 'cause right after you find out that your dad's hiding your sister at the very next screen is your dad sitting there and he's like fishing in this little pond and you're like, and he asks you about it directly. And you have to like click that to know or you don't know. So I was like, nah, I don't know. You know? - I have seen some really cool Flash games, man. They're just, I've seen a lot of, you know, really good Flash games, including some great adventure games like adventure games live really well in Flash. That's like where a lot of the great adventure games are coming from. - The walls are coming down. - Yeah, one generally. - I think a lot of people think Flash games are really dumb because you'll see one that's like, ah, it's under the tower defense. But there are some people out there doing, I mean, Arthur's known a guy that's made some pretty famous Flash creations. I mean, went to school with them. - It has a, I've lost them around. - It has, well, Flash. I'm glad Flash is around. It has a low barrier to entry for people that want to experiment. - Right. - I mean, PB Winterbottom originated, like the prototypes. - As a Flash. - We wouldn't have Super Meat Boy if it weren't for Flash. - They had to completely redo the entire thing. - I imagine, but. - Yeah, I'm sure. - So what have you been playing? Fancy Pants. - Uh, I played more singularity over the weekend. - Oh, you did. - I did. - Did you come to the realization that people were wrong? - Yeah, I'm still, still sitting pretty solidly and the singularity is not good category. - After you get your TMs in your eyes. - Yeah, I got the TMs, I got the TMs in your eyes. (laughing) - That's what I explained. - What is the private lives of celebrities? - Oh, that's awesome. - That would be a better game. - I played that game. - That's, that's what the gun needed man. I needed like the Lindsey Lohan gun. Like you should turn it into Lindsey. - Yeah, that just sounds like you're firing Lindsey Lohan at people. (laughing) - A sequel at Perez Hilton. - And she drinks them or snorts them up or whatever. (laughing) - Not for three months. - Day, I want to take a quick aside and say that Dave does think of really great video game ideas on a regular basis. What was the one you were talking about the other day? No, no, I remember this was the one where there were six levels and like the sixth level was like magic magic. - No, it was like the 28 forms of magic. - Oh, well I have to mention Dan Adams if I'm going to talk about this. This was his project. It was Gefargenfell. It was a fantasy game. There were the 36 forms of magic. The last realm was magic's magic. And it's about a race of dragons who ride humans around. (laughing) It's the last human ride. (laughing) - The last human ride is. - Gefargenfell, the last human rider. (laughing) We had Crayola art for the level. - And are the dragons like super huge when they ride on the humans? Or are they like dragons? - They're dragon size. They're dragon size. They're just riding little humans. (laughing) They're just like. - Ali superman stuff. - Yeah. - So I think the humans that I drew were just like arms at their side. Just like. (laughing) - I love it. - And the dragons have guns too, of course. - Oh, why not? Yeah, that sounds like such a great sight. - So all of that was just much more enjoyable than the time I'm having a singularity. (laughing) - But anyway, singularity. - I think it's, people have asked me on Twitter. They said, well, you liked Wolfenstein. How can you not like this? And it's just, the gunplay isn't as solid. It's not, it's very twitchy. There doesn't feel like there's any weight to it. The guns just aren't as interesting. It relies pretty heavily on gore, but it doesn't look good. Like the nice thing about the gore in Wolfenstein, if that's your thing, is that when you shot somebody in the neck with a sniper rifle, you got some pretty satisfying shit from that. (laughing) And it just seems like singularity depends a lot on that. - It's just canned gore though, isn't it? - It is. - You get some weird head explosions from punching a guy in the shoulder. - Right, it's really. (laughing) - And it doesn't look good. It's like there's no real weight to anything and there's really awful Unreal Engine 3 blood that looks like wild cherry cool wades going all over the place. - So is it better or worse than that other time shift? - You know what? I only played time shift for about five minutes, so I had no plan for it. - 'Cause that's the big head-to-head bow right there. - Maybe I'll play time shift this weekend while Anthony is out of town. - Yeah, well that's, I don't need 'em here, I've got time shift. - I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna piss off that one listener again and bring the transformers back around 'cause I'm gonna say, there's a game whose graphics really aren't the best, but the gameplay totally makes up for it. - I mean the graphics are what they need to be. - The guns, yeah. - What, I mean like Wolfenstein? - No, in transformers. - Oh, okay, transformers. - I think the gunplay feels really, really good in that game. Who's this guy? - And there's visually, there's visually interesting stuff happening in transformers, like the way that the world constantly shifts and the way you interact with it. That is some transformers ass shit that is happening. - I, to saw the puzzles feel really canned and it's pretty much all just revolving to age this thing or make it new or age it, push it around, make it new. And the enemies are just, it's just not fun. - Sounds like a good idea that no one could find anything interesting to do with it. - Right, what if we get age things? - It just, it feels like it was sort of pushed out, like knowing full well that it wasn't gonna do anything. - It'd be cooler if you could age people. - You can age people. - Oh you can just like make a soldier turn into a skeleton in front of you. - Yeah, that is exactly what happens. - Oh really? I was just making this shit up. (laughing) - Awesome. - And then you're like, "How could that up be the greatest game ever?" - Exactly. - Let's emphasize, is it obvious? - Can I turn them into a baby? - No. - Oh. (laughing) - Turn them into a baby and then make an old baby. - No way. (laughing) - You should be able to like-- - That'll be next gen. - You should be able to Benjamin button them. - Yeah. - You age them so much they're born again. - Yeah, I would be so funny. - Turn them into babies. - Or just give them an old right arm. (laughing) - Depending on their religion, like if they're Buddhist and they come back, you age them into a butterfly or like-- (laughing) - I think Dave's on to something. They're aging like a specific body phone. I'm giving baby legs. (laughing) - That would be messed up. That would be so messed up. - That would be a better game. I just don't understand what people are seeing in it. Again, maybe it's because I'm playing on PC and like the controller helps lend more weight to it. I don't know. Don't look at me like I'm retarded. - I'm just looking at you like you're making excuses for it. You don't like it. - I'm trying to be fair to this game 'cause I've braven has made games that I've enjoyed. - And it was a labor of love, right? It was the thing they've been working on. - Right. It was the thing that they apparently started without telling Activision, which is why Activision let it float out to die without even giving it the benefit of a Viking funeral of an ad campaign. It just-- (laughing) I mean, we got that game the day it came out in Europe. That's another game that came out like three or four days early in Europe. And every game, I feel like every game that's done that over the last year has flopped. Like really hard. - Well, I don't know if much could have been done about this one. - Like Saboteur did that. - Well, come on. (laughing) - We're all on sort of the same scale of like, what are you gonna do? You know, put a billion dollars behind it and write the hell out of it. It's still gonna be an okay game. - Well, I mean, hi, prototype's so slow. Like Activision put a lot of money behind prototype. - Yeah, that was slightly more polished, I thought. - Yeah, there was more interesting going on in prototype. I just didn't think it was very fun. - He had bomb ass cinematics or whatnot. - I think so, the main problem is, you know, a lot of people talk about shooter fatigue and how, you know, we get so many shooters that look a lot alike. If you don't really stand out, you know, it's just not gonna stand out. - People say like the idea of shooter fatigue to me is like the idea of masturbation fatigue to Anthony. That it's just not gonna happen. - Right, you could rip it off. - Or to me. That wouldn't be fatigue. That'd be just like a trip on injury. - The way I look at it is God gave me a right and a left hand. - Do you have a girlfriend now? You don't need any of that shit. - She lives in D.C. - Even if she didn't. No one does it like better than me. - No, that he does. - It's better. - If you had the TMZ, you'd have to watch out 'cause you might age your balls. (laughing) - Well, I'm pretty sure someone already aged my penis. (laughing) - You need it like backwards? - Yeah. - By the time you're like 45, it'll be adult. - Yeah. Sorry. - So I'll probably play some more of it. I don't know, just the weapon and upgrade just seemed very predictable. And everything about it just feels really predictable. Like I bet at some point I'll have to battle the Last Boss and with his own time powers. Call me crazy. I think it might happen. - No way. (laughing) - I just have. - You are fucking crazy. - I have ambivalence towards time travel, like in games because I feel like it's just another thing, like just like time travel in movies. It's just been done so often and so it's... - And nobody can do it as well as blinks. - Right. It's just implemented so poorly in everything. - What the fuck is that? Blinks the time sweepers? - Yeah, it was an Xbox platformer with a cat. - The cat with the time-- - The cat with a time vacuum cleaner? - Dude. - What the fuck is that? - The cat with the power of the Xbox. - That was the most iconic character ever. - You are pretty much the king of shit games. (laughing) - You take that back? - There were a lot of people. - Get a time vacuum cleaner. - There were a lot of people that put a lot of hope into blinks the time sweeper. A lot of Xbox partisanship. - Wow, I still stand by it. - PlayStation one sucks. (laughing) - PlayStation two, you mean? - Whatever. - Blinks the time sweeper. (laughing) - Voodoo events, fuck you. Meanwhile, I've also been playing a pair of Manly games. I'm reviewing Serious Sam HD, the second encounter for IGN. - I'd like Serious Sam back in the day. - What platform is that? - That is a Serious Sam-ass Serious Sam game. It's PC, but it's also coming to Xbox Live next week, I think. - Yeah, something. Not part of the Summer of Arcade, ironically enough. - Wow, well, that's surprising. - It's very old school, which is-- - Might not have to do with quality as much as the Summer of Arcade is all $15 this year as well, so. - Right, and also everything on Summer of Arcade has to be 360 exclusive for a time. - Can I ask you guys something? That's a bit of an off-topic. Death's Bank came out today, right? Does anyone play that? What's the word on the street? - I really want that. - I've heard it's fun. - What is the word on the street? - Teen played that, I believe. - I heard it's fun. - Yeah, it looks good. - I know if you go to DeathSpank.com, you see the IGN score on the front page. - Zero. - You've reviewed it. - I don't know. - I don't know. - I believe-- - I think 8.5 is what it got from IGN. So interesting. - TLDR. - Sorry, I was just thinking 'cause you were talking about Summer of Arcade. - I think people can expect to hear about it next week. I bought it, so I planned it again. - Oh, did you? Did you buy it today at work? - Yeah, I did. So I plan on playing. - It's cute, I have to download when you get home. - It's exactly cool. - Yeah, SiriusAMHD, the second encounter is a very old school in the style of Doom and Duke Nukem 3D. - Super fast. - A very fast, very cheap in the way that it will kill you, very, you better be quick saving every 45 seconds. - It's the backpedal circle strafe school of shooters. - Right, right. There is the ability to make the camera third person. - I don't know why you would do that in that game. Because it makes the game a hell of a lot more manageable when there's a lot of stuff on screen. And also, it makes the chainsaw god-like. I feel like a fucking matador side setting things with the chainsaw in that game. - Are there silly weapons in this game? I can't ever play in this series. - There are always ones in the last time. - The SiriusAMHD games were never really about silly weapons. - Oh, dude, have you played a serious Sam? - Yeah, they were pretty insane. - You had a cannon that fired out a cannon. So you're holding an old school cannon that fires out a cannon ball that's bigger than you are that rolls until it hits something and just crushes everything in its past. - Right, but everything else is very standard first person shooter stuff. It's like you have a knife, a chainsaw, a gun, two guns. - Yeah, but they're all ridiculous in the way that they work, though. I mean, that's the thing, is that like, yes, you have a rocket launcher, but it's just insane the way that it fires and how many rockets you can fire. And the whole game is just all about over the top. - I have all the four weapons in the game so far and I'm still in the first level. - Right, well, they always do that too, is that they metroid you like several times in that game. At least they used to in the old ones. - But it's very like monster closet. It's like, if you see a power up in the middle of a field and you pick up you, there's going to be a cannon in your future. - You hear people screaming and start running in a bomb. - Right, exactly, I love that part of that. - I remember playing the first serious Sam back when I was wearing a game spy and this was like 2001. Was that when the first one came out, something like that? - Thereabouts, yeah. And there was co-op, which was like a huge thing back then 'cause we were playing four player co-op. And we're walking into this room and there's like a piece of armor in the middle of the floor and somebody goes, "I'm gonna get the thing." And somebody else goes, "Don't get the thing." (all laughing) 'Cause you just knew in that day what was gonna happen. - Yeah, and this one I think you basically play as like cyborg village people, if you're playing co-op. Like because they're all on the cover of the game. - Right, best game, just don't get the thing. - Right, don't get the thing. I mean, it's all about finding secrets that are hidden in very weird esoteric ways and-- - Also very old. - Is it very old school in the sense that it's like, you need the red key card for the red door? - I mean, it's never, or it's almost never red key card, but it's like, you have to pick up these two different things and bring them back to the spot and every time you leave that spot and come back, there's gonna be a new huge enemy for you to kill. - Okay. - And we'll fucking start firing it to you from about a mile away. - Sure, Sam is weird though, 'cause it felt like it was always a response and an extension of what was going on at the time. Like it was kind of a parody of the game you were playing seriously. And now it's just old. - It's the dude in high school that follows the other kids around and just mocks them by imitating them in the most insincere way possible. - Yeah, but now, you know, he's unemployed or whatever. (laughing) He's still working at Burger King. It's Quirks 2. - Wow, that's the Quirks 2 of the Shooters. - Serious in HD 2, whatever the hell it is. - Right. - It's the Clirks 2 of the Shooters. - That's so good. - Box quote. - I mean, there's certainly fun to be had, but it's just, it's a very different kind of shooter than what we're used to now. Where literally, I always have my index finger right next to F6 so I can quick save all the time. Because it is the kind of game that will just kill you. Like, if you do something even the slightest bit wrong, it'll kill you. - The best thing about like those old school shooters, though, that you were quick saving all the time is when you quick save like two seconds from a death. - Right, so it becomes like a race to see if you can avoid that last pretend. - Yeah, you're just holding like straight-left as I spawn at least when you live. - You just get to watch yourself die over and over again as you reload. - Right, but this slots like a million quick saves. - Oh, wow. - So like you just go backwards. - Saves every frame. - Right. (laughing) - I haven't played it on 360 yet, but I imagine I will before I put that review up. I think it's probably gonna be the same. I hope you can do third person on 360. - I don't see why not. - Even if it is a little broken. Like, if there's tall grass and you're in third person, then it will easily just cover up like a third of the screen if you tilt up a little bit. - Oh, wow, yeah. - Yeah. - I'm also playing the unofficial front-runner for Manliest Game of the Year, which is Captain Blood. - Oh man, there's gonna be some Captain Blood talk on this podcast? - There's gonna be some Captain Blood. - Call me, there's no embargo for Captain Blood. So let's fucking Captain Blood this shit up. - There's no anything for Captain Blood. - There is no anything for Captain Blood. - Captain Blood is like the band Death Clock, made a video game about pirates starring Nathan Explosion. - I would like to take one second though before people shit all over for its name. Arthur did point out to me this morning, Captain Blood was a real person. - Well, no, first there were a trilogy of books in the 30s called Captain Blood. Like, there were stories about a character that was a amalgam of several pirate characters that were real, including Captain Morgan of the rum. So you're basically playing as Captain Morgan in this game. - No problem with it. - A pirate named Paul Blood. - So there was a person with Blood as their last name. The point I'm trying to make it isn't such a-- - There were, the Bloods were a storied line that stole the crown jewels of England and were pardoned by the king for their audacity. - They pretty much had to be comparits though. - Right, yeah. - So you can't do anything else with a surname like that? You're not gonna be like an accountant. - Yeah, what are you gonna do if your last name is Blood? You're not gonna be a clerk. You're gonna be a fuck pirate. - I'm CPA Blood. - Professor Blood, he is a doctor. He is Doctor Blood. - Wow, that's even better. - That is a-- - So you're a doctor and a pirate? - Yes, you are a doctor who carries a comically large musket on your hip at all times. - That's true. - I never takes it off. He always fires from the hip. So anytime he fires it looks like he's thrusting his dick in front of him and just blowing buckshot out of it. It's great. - This sounds like the lies I tell at bars when I'm drunk. (laughing) - It pretty much is. - What are you? I'm a pirate and a doctor. What is it to you? (laughing) - Also I own the moon, I don't know if you can do that. (laughing) - It is Captain Morgan the game. So you play as a pirate that the combat is very much like God of War. You have executions where you grab people and do stuff to them which can range from-- - Punching him in the face 30 times until it explodes, that's my favorite one. (laughing) - The other is-- - I'm not making that up. - Is Elbow like him to the face and pulling them close and like just slamming your crotch forward with the musket a few times and just shooting them over and over again? - It looks like your face fucking yeah. - Right, it looks like your face fucking. - Ocular penetration? - Yes. - Fucking them in the eye socket for those. - Uh-huh. - I don't know what the ocular means. (laughing) And then there's a section where you are single-handedly manning every cannon on your stolen pirate ship. - I was gonna say the beck. - Nice. - Our motto of Spanish pirate ships around you is-- - Cannonball chain gun. - Right. (laughing) - I don't know, is that in there? I didn't see that yet. - I've heard it is. - Is that in the box that describes the sea combat as fascinating? - Right. - Is that in there? - Are you in describing it? - It's something. So this is a game from 1C. - Yes. - We've talked about 1C, I think, in the podcast before they are completely vertically integrated, Russian developer, publisher, and retailer. - Mm-hmm. - They're the Activision of Russia. (laughing) - Activision was run by a bunch of fucking mafia types. - Activision owned GameStop and you. - Yeah, they would be-- - Imagine that the Russian family in a history or of Eastern promises owned a game company, and that would be 1C. - Yeah, do they have a magazine? They should have a 1C magazine. - They would be a resume if they do. - But we don't pay a lot of attention to 1C when they-- - Right, 'cause most of the stuff they put out appeals to a very specific niche in Eastern Europe as far as PC games. - Rig and roll hardcore software-- - And a lot of their games come out over here under different publishers like IO2 came out via 505 games instead of them, but this one. - This started on Xbox originally, and then they said, "You know what, fuck it, we'll push it back to 360 "and it's been in development ever since." - Wow, what did we decide it kind of looks like? A Prince of Persia. - You thought it looked kind of like Prince of Persia. - 2008. - It actually looks a lot like Fable. - I agree. Fable, actually. That's a much better decision. Imagine Fable, if it had its dick out, it was just like rubbing it on everyone's legs. - That's what I do when Captain Blood looks like. - That's exactly what I do in Fable. That's one of the specific amount, like most-- - Right, but that's for Fable 3. - What I will say about that game, though, was watching Arthur play it. It looked hard, even on normal, it was hard. - It is really hard. So the second section of the game I played, you play is Captain Blood's first mate, Walt, and he can't grab people and execute them. He can't fire a gun. He just runs around with a knife attached to his forearm and gets the shit beaten out of him over and over again. But he gets a life back. - When he gets the beat shit out of him? - Yeah. - You don't want your mate to always be one-upping you. - Right, sure. - I mean, it could just be that he wants a girly looking dude next to him for those long nights at sea. I'm not judging. - That's something wrong with it. - No, not there's anything wrong with that, but-- - I am Walt. - I think Matt just came out on the podcast, folks. - Mm-hmm. - So basically-- - I can't be disappointed. - Well, you've played a good game. Kept up the act for as long as you could. So I just got my ass kicked over and over again as Walt because the musketeers that ordinarily I would just completely bed as Captain Blood, John Blood, to his friends, would just slap me in the face with the musket and then shoot me over and over again. And yeah, it took me like 40 minutes to get past that section. - Did you find yourself yelling? - Whoo! - I was like, "No!" - I felt like a game like that in a while. - Have you seen my boy? - I don't like lost either. - Yeah, I was gonna say, that's not big in the lost jokes, but I have to take the boy. But what did you think that beyond being hard, though, and stuff, I mean, did it seem cool to you? I mean, I know that it wasn't exactly-- - You know what? It's not-- - I even know that it's gonna be good. It's just gonna be awesome. - It's just the surprisingly weird kind of cool game that just doesn't exist anymore. - Right, it's really-- - You don't get games under the radar now. - It's really mechanically functional. People have been bitching lately about using the word mechanically functional. Like, the buttons respond really well when you're pressing them. And the combat interactions between you and other enemies feel right. Like, it doesn't feel like you're stuck in attacks. You can always roll away. There's a weight to your attacks when you swing them. And that's something that a lot of character action games actually fuck up, including God of War sometimes. - Well, you know, like with God of War and with like Dante's Inferno, you know, they have that thing where you when you swing your weapon and it hits something, there's that momentary frame hitch with and a little bit of screen shake and it makes it feel like, oh, there was an impact there. - Right, and that's all there. And it's always kinda cool to be swinging your sword around or whatever weapon you stole. And then just lean yourself back like you're in a fucking rap video and like jut your penis forward and fire your musket. - Do you feel like if it gets really localized and stuff that some of the charm will be lost from it? Like when they're not Russian speaking pirates and stuff. - You know what, I've gotta figure that the voice acting will be so awful if it comes over here in English that it'll be fine. Right now it's all in Russian. - Yeah, which I thought I made it really silly and funny to watch. - Which is really weird considering that you're an Englishman and all the enemies are Spanish so far. - Is it subtitled? - It's some of it is and then some parts say translation needed. So this is still very much a preview build. - Got it. - But according to PR, it's coming out this year here. - Cool. - So it's a lot of fun. I don't know that it's good, but it's cool. - Yeah, it's like the B-movie. That's really fun to watch. - Right, like predators. Yeah, that's all I've been playing. - I don't think predators was meant to be a B-movie. - I'm pretty sure it was meant to be a B-movie. It was produced by Robert fucking Rodger, I guess. - Oh, okay. - Producer of such hits is machete. - Right, and it's fine. - And spy kids. - And spy kids. - Oh, spy kids. - I'd like to go to spy kids, yeah. - Desperado, once upon a time Mexico. - Cool. - And you have been playing, I mean. - I've only been playing Tom Darkstar one and that's technically embargoed until next Tuesday. So, better, you know, it's Darkstar one. (laughing) - Can I ask you, is it better than '99 nights too? - It is infinitely better than '99 nights. - Would you give that a zero? - '99 nights? - Yeah. - Yeah. (laughing) - No, would you give that a three? - I gave it a four, I think. - That's too high. - I have heard Anthony say that he feels that he may have averted that game. - That game didn't look any source of good. - That's another game we didn't get until after it came out. - But also, why did they make a sequel? First of all. - They were probably contracted too. - Yeah, I don't know. - I noticed Microsoft didn't publish it this time. - No, 'cause it was done by different people, wasn't it? - I think it was still done by the same people. I don't know. I don't know why they did another sequel, man. - Do you ever wonder what it's like to work on a super shitty game? - Fucking shitty game. And then to make a second one. - Oh, a second one, no. (laughing) - I, you know, I kind of, do we know what Famitsu gave '99 nights too? - Depends on how much they were paid. - Depends on how much, and I was gonna say it depends on how much they were paid. - Right, well that's a thing. - That's zero because it's a Korean game. - Yeah, good point. - No, it's made by a bunch of Japanese people. - No, I thought it was made by Koreans most positive. - I'm sure that some stuff was done in Korea, but. - I thought the developers, the Korean developer. - Yeah, the Korean style to me comes off as the difference between Korean and Japanese and style. Seems like Korean is a lot more like fantastical. I don't know if I'm just putting that on. - Maybe you just think it's Korean because of its Dynasty Warriors gameplay. - I just had heard that the developer of '99 nights was a Korean developer. - I don't know. - So. - I do not know. - Anyways, yeah, I haven't really been playing anything. - It's been a hundred dark star one, which I took from, as the assignment, and thought it was gonna be short, but that game is, I will say, I'm not reviewing, but that game is epically long. - You've played so many hours. - It's true, I go home and I've played every day after work too, and it's really long. - It's like you're actually in space. - It's true. (laughing) - Dying, slowly. (laughing) - Not that bad. - So let's take a quick break and then we'll do some Twitter topics. We're ready. (upbeat music) ♪ All of you on your side ♪ ♪ Did it, you ♪ ♪ Did it, you ♪ ♪ You believed in all your lies ♪ ♪ Did it, you ♪ ♪ Did it, you ♪ (upbeat music) (upbeat music) (upbeat music) (upbeat music) (upbeat music) (upbeat music) (upbeat music) (upbeat music) (upbeat music) (upbeat music) (upbeat music) (upbeat music) (upbeat music) (upbeat music) - Okay, hello. Welcome back, we took some Twitter topics and I have those ready. - I'm I peed. - So the first one that we're gonna talk about is from Red Dead. - So was Tyler. - Red Dead Ricardo. And he says, - That's awesome name. - He says, "What games did you have fun memories of "that didn't hold up when you revisited it?" So I recently played Black again and that game still is fun. Not as fun as I remembered it, but it still sucks. There's one part in that game that still is like the game ending part for me even today. But I mean, a game that hasn't held up very well, anything on 64. You go back and play anything on 64 and you're like, "Wow, I can't even believe I used to be able to look at this." - Anything in a 3D on PlayStation or Saturn. - The ultimate one for me is always gonna be Altered Beast. 'Cause I seriously, when I was a kid, that was the bad game. - That was so awesome. - That was the shit. - That's just fucking one of the conversations. - Me too. And then I bought it for GBA. I remember I went out and bought it for GBA. - That was a particularly awful version of the game too. - It was crushed. - Yeah, I thought that game was the shit and when I went back and played it, it literally was shit. - Yeah. - And I do mean literally, it was a steaming pile poop. - Yeah, but I still think yeah, anything for 64, anything 3D for PlayStation, like Arthur's saying, looks really terrible now. I don't even wanna go back and play certain and old. I remember EverQuest looking really good and I went back a year ago and it looked so terrible. - That game always looked like ass. - I just don't understand how my mental disconnect is so far. - It's because you were on the drugs at the time by drugs I mean EverQuest. - Yeah. - Final Fantasy 7. - That's a good one. - The load times. - Yeah, I seriously don't think that would hold up for me either anymore. - I never really enjoyed that game but I've definitely heard people tell me that it doesn't hold up for them when they were just fucking in love with that game. - All right, so Jim Warren Feltz on Twitter says, best missed opportunities, i.e. singularity and off protocol, basically games that you wish were good. Like for me, no, no, no, oh, come on. But I mean, there's some that like you particular had like your heart set on. - Prototype would have been nice if it had been good. - For me, it was Metro 2033. It wasn't bad game, but I had just had my hopes that this was gonna be like this fucking epic, awesome game and then it was just okay. - For me, like all the time, I'm always so hungry for an RPG that I'm always like getting RPGs off steam or something like that that I want to be good and there's not a single one that ever is. - Yeah. - Grand G of three. - Really? - Was that not good? Grand G of two was a lot of fun. - Yeah, no, it wasn't. (laughing) - I will fight you on a table. - I mean three, three wasn't. - Okay. - It was disappointing. - Don't you take Grand G of two? - I hope I'm getting my sequel numbers, right? But yeah, that was disappointing and a long line of disappointing are JRPGs of that year. And I remember that was, you know, I just kept buying them and they kept being boring. And I was like, did I ever like this genre? I can't remember what's going on here. - I have another one in that vein, Chronocross. - Yeah. - Yeah. - Yeah. - Yeah, I mean, of course we all want all games to be part two. But just maybe one that you had staked a particular bitty yourself in. - Every sequel to Secret of Mana. - I've wanted a Prince of Persia game to be good for a long time now. - You didn't like the 2008 Prince of Persia? - That's one I didn't play. - I liked the most recent one myself. - Yeah. - I bought that recently and some of them played it. - Yeah, you can't think of one, like in recent that you were like, I really, you know, you had a personal little heart on it. - The recently Saboteur. - Okay. - I really, I was really looking forward to the Saboteur, especially after playing a Comic-Con last year. But they didn't fix anything that was a problem in Comic-Con. It actually got worse. - Ooh, Crackdown. That's another one for me that I was like. - Crackdown too. - Right. - I don't hate, but yeah. Man, the mental process of blocking Crackdown out for my memory has begun. (laughing) - You reformatted that part of your hard disk space. - I think for PC gamers, everything that came out of Troika, or they really wish. - Who, what did they do? - They did a Arcana, Arcana. - Oh yeah, Arcana was awesome. - And they did a, yeah, but it was buggy as fuck. - Yeah, but if you patched it and then downloaded some community patches, (laughing) you could eventually fix it through like a wizard ring, Acari. - Also, Vampire the Masquerade Blublines is one of my favorite PC games ever, but it's totally broken. - Yeah, it is. - Ion Storm. Yeah. (laughing) Everything they did. - Everything that Ion Storm did. - Right, everything Obsidian has done, basically. - I also think that both the, Ubisoft's been really bad about it, this generation too. Both Ghost Recon and Rainbow Six Vegas, like both of those sequels were like, what? - Someone got so mad at me on Twitter for talking about how Rainbow Six Vegas 2 is not good. - It's not that it's not good, it's fine, but it was a step backwards in the first one. You have to look past a lot of things. You can find the fun in that game. - And then someone else said fuck you to me and told me that Bioshock 2 is awesome and better than the first game in every way. - See that, yeah. - People are entitled to their wrong opinions. - Right. - Okay, so Jojo Fett, 16. He says-- - Of course you read that. - Well, he says games that made you get a system. Like, is there any particular? Like, besides the fact that recently we're all kind of whores, we kind of want multiple systems. But like back in the day, for me it was on PS2, it was actually, it was actually this game called Kengo, which ended up being awful. But it was a launch title and I thought, I thought me and my friends, 'cause we didn't read any video game sites are hardly a massive segment. - It was gonna be Bushido, right? - That's what we thought. We thought it was gonna be Bushido Blade. So we all pitched in. I bought the PS3, someone bought the game, another person bought a controller. - PS2, yeah. - PS2. - Yeah. - And we all pitched in on this and it was such a disappointment. - Wow, so that was like a collective, like-- - A collective disappointment. We all went back to my friend Joseph's house. We had all like canceled our plans for that night. - I think I've had reasons for every system since the Super Nintendo. Like Legend of Zelda, a link to the past was my reason for wanting a Super Nintendo. - I wanted a Wii for Red Steel. (laughs) - I remember that night. - We waited outside that fucking game stop and that mall on a hard floor for that shit to open. And we had one of the easier times getting away. - I wanted it for nights. - Really? - Not want. - Not want. (laughs) - That's totally-- - I wanted a Saturn for Panzer du Goone. - But that was good reason that-- - But you were totally made a legitimate purchase in that case, right? (laughs) - If you played Sago, then you were like-- - The greatest system of all time. - Right. - Be moldy. (laughs) - Here's one that will mark me in the annals of shame. My launch game for Dreamcast was Blue Stinger. - I don't even know what that is. - I wanted a Dreamcast, even though I never got one. - At least it wasn't for true for Code Veronica. I wanted to Dreamcast. - Code Veronica was good. - That was the one that my local, the baggages store demoed the Dreamcast with. - Babbages? - Babbages, babbages, babbages, babbages, babbages. - Babbages! (laughs) - That was the one they-- - Before? - That was the one they demoed it with and it was so cool. - That was my first game on Dreamcast. I was like, this is totally sweet. - I got an Xbox for Halo. - I could tell you that the only reason why I haven't sold my PS3 is for the Last Guardian. - Really? - That's the only reason. - I couldn't believe it. - The only one reason. - I bought a PS1 for Final Fantasy 7. Yeah, that's all the reason I bought a PS1. - That was late, late, late in the cycle. - Me too. - Yeah, it wasn't like to find, all right, Saturn sucks, whatever. You didn't do it. (laughs) I should've known when you expressed your plans to your own enthusiasm. - I played Dragon Force 2000 times at that point. It finally had to-- - You're just one of those kids that was waiting 18 months for the Saturn version of Castlevania. - We know I was waiting for Burning Rangers to show up and Shining Force Trilogy with the only one of them and then you could play the rest. (laughs) They only translated the first one. - Oh man, power! - Power Slave shows the true power of the Saturn. - So we should do a few more because both my phone and my laptop are about today. - Uh-oh. - So, stupid laptop battery. Okay. - I can pull more up on this. - Okay, good. So, God Emperor Bubba says, "How about games you wish didn't have sequels?" For instance, he says the DXS series should've stopped at the first and Final Fantasy at the ninth. - And what? What were y'all just talking about too? Crackdown. (laughs) They didn't need the sequel. - I think something should've stopped at the ninth this kind of ridiculous thing. - Yeah. - Yeah, they just-- - The perfect rounded out number. (laughing) - 14 is blasphemy. - What game was that? - I missed it. - Final Fantasy. - Yeah, he said Final Fantasy Nine. That basically is just like, I did 22 games in a series is where you should stop. (laughing) - I would've lived without Resident Evil since four. - I disagree about Deus A. - You know what? You forgot something you were playing this week, which is you and all fucking powered through Resident Evil Five. - Yeah, and it's still good. There's not much more to say about it than that. I mean, it has the shitty parts, but as a co-op game, it's a great co-op game. - It is great. It's co-op. - I mean, I would never play by myself, ever. - Me. - But as a co-op game, it is really fun. - Plus it's got the gun show. - But what? - It does have the gun show. - Oh yeah, that guy has the hugent arms. (laughing) It's frankly quite disgusting. - And Shiva has the tightest ass of any character in the game ever. - His arms, man. They just don't make any sense. - No, they just don't. - They really don't. - They are literally inhuman. - He needs to be shot by the baby arm gun. (laughing) - He makes Marcus Phoenix look like Professor Frank. - It's true. (laughing) So yeah, I don't have any particular ones that I don't think should have been made into sequels. I mean, well, maybe Rainbow Six Vegas, they could have just stopped out of the first one. - I really couldn't because they left a fucking cliffhanger ending at the end of Rainbow Six Vegas. - They had to make a scene. - Plus it ties into the Hawke story line. Does it really? (laughing) - I think he's right, actually. - Who gives a fuck? - Give her that part where she'll play the background. - Yes, I do, actually. - Hawkes. (laughing) - Man, who cares? - Oh god. - No, they're, like, the only games that I can think of that I don't really want sequels for don't have sequels. And that would be like Eco and Shadow of the Colossus. You don't want sequels for those games. - No. - You don't. - Or unless they're called, like, Retribution. (laughing) - Eco, Retribution. (laughing) - Here's a random one. What is your favorite NES game? That one comes from Mongol O5. - Fuck. - Pinball. - Definitely pinball. - Really? I played this shit. - Okay, I was gonna say, are you, like, both being serious right now? - I did play a lot of pinball, 'cause I only own pinball for a long time. (laughing) - How do you quantify that? Like, how much time you spend playing it? 'Cause if that's the case, fucking Castlevania too. - All I was gonna say is that that's the case, pinball. (laughing) - I mean, for me, it's definitely, it's gotta be contrary, just 'cause that was the, if we were gonna go off of games I spent, I spent the most time with my friends. It's playing contrary. - Man, everyone Konami made good games. - I think mine was, and mine was Metroid, it was definitely Metroid. I mean, I played more Zelda than I played Metroid, but Metroid was the game that I loved the most back then. - Okay. - Captain Zesty, he wrote him with a hot topic. He said-- - What about a torrid topic? - Yeah, he said games everybody thought would be awesome, but you, and you ended up being right, and he said his was brutal legend. - Oh, that's a rough one. - That is a rough one. - Mainly because it makes me sad, the privilege of wasn't good. - Yeah. - Man, I don't even know what that would be. - The game that everyone else thought would be awesome. - You're gonna be so cool and you were like, "No, it's really not." Like, I don't know. - Oh, Hayes. - Good call. - Well, I thought Hayes was gonna suck as soon as we ever played it at past-- - As far as sales go, Unreal Tournament 3. - Yeah, Unreal Tournament 3 just wasn't that fun. - Right, I don't know. - Everyone thought that game was gonna be what turned it around for PS3, that winner. - Oh, I know. Demon's Souls agreed. (laughs) What, you didn't like it? That game's awful. I didn't like it either. - Thank you. - It's so much hate, man. - Also, also hate Demon's Souls. It's a pile of garbage. - I'm gonna go out of a limb and put my reputation and try and do a predictor of the game that I think that hasn't come out yet, but it's gonna do this. - Do we all wanna make that prediction? That could be fun. Let's end some friendships. (laughs) - I think Gran Turismo 5 is gonna land with not much of a splash. More of a-- - A fine, I will fucking bet you money that you were wrong on that one. - More of a, I think Demon's Souls 2 would probably be awesome. (laughs) - Matt, do you have one that you, everyone else thinks could be good, but you think is gonna flop? - I don't know. These days I don't think very far out. I'm sort of-- - See us tomorrow. - Yeah, exactly. - There's a lot of crazy, crazy hype over the original PS3 lineup that later turned out to be, you know, kind of goofy bunk. - Heavenly sword. - Yeah, well, this was before-- - That was good. - This was before they existed, you know, I remember the whole fake reel and everything. - Right. - And I was the one guy in the office going, "Guys, this is, you know, we don't even know who made these CG movies, like they all look the same, so it's likely that they're the same house, and, you know, this could even not be indicative of gameplay, you should just hold back a little bit, and people are like, "You're just an Xbox fanboy." And I'm like, "What, Dan, fucking PlayStation." - Well, I'm not saying they're gonna be bad, I'm just saying like, "These aren't even games." - No, looking at it, and everybody just shouted me down at E3, and they were like, "You shut up fanboy," and I was like, "Oh, all right." - Did you see, did you see the guys from MotorStorm, you know, how they had that first target MotorStorm video at the announcement? Those guys first found out the PS3 specs in the audience at the press conference. - Yes, yeah. - They didn't actually even know what they were doing with their game, or what the system could handle. - So mean, the guys that tried to develop to those specs only to have Sony slowly cut them down over the next year. Guys, guys, we finally got the mud working that cut us down in Gary. - Exactly. - It didn't matter how good they got the mud looking, because it wasn't gonna look like that. - Unattainable, you know, it was like, well, your game looks better than any game prior, but it's not good as the CG movie, so you suck. - Yep, exactly. - It's no Colorado. - Killzone actually did a pretty good job of getting close. - Yeah, they did. - In some respects, yeah. - Yeah. - Man, I was trying to think of one. - Of one that's coming out, that people think is gonna be awesome. - Yeah, I don't know. - It's so calm for us. - I think a-- - Release and fade away within two months. - Twist it metal. - No, that's one I'd have hoped for. - It won't fade away amongst the people that buy so-com games. - Oh, right, because there's always a million of those people on their own. - Like Mag's hardcore. - Yeah, it's good enough of a hardcore fan base. - You know, it's so calm. Didn't so come, the last so-come on PS3, just sort of disappear. - Yeah, didn't do anything. - And Mag is as much as certain people in this room like Mag, Mag basically did nothing. - The last so-com launched into a broken environment for over two months, I think it was. - Oh, wow. - Yeah. - So that's like, you can't maintain community with that. If this one at least works, the so-com fanatics will rally around today. - Twist it metal though. That's one feature. I just think people are over that now. - Yeah, I don't know. - I think that's-- - I used to love so much. - I think that game has a lot in common what we were talking about earlier of games that were great, but you go back and play 'em and it's like, you know, this just doesn't really hold up. - It's the serious Sam of car comedy. (laughing) I think it'll be cool. - I think it's more like-- - Jaffe he knows what he's doing. Painkiller of car combat. - Yeah, I think he'll make it fun. I don't know if I'll play it, but I think it'll be a quality title. - It's fine, Colin will play it. - Colin will definitely play it. So, do you think that it's possible to successfully blend deep character customization and real-time combat mechanics? Like with-- - Who is the fucker that asked that? - A-G-S-T-G. - I'm just kidding. I just wanted to know. He's not a fucker. - Does he mean like-- - I'm not sure. I was gonna read that a lot 'cause I didn't quite understand what he was asking. - Does he mean like, this character is like six, maybe three ways, 200 and so as punch is so heavy? No, I think what he's trying to say is that, you know, you either get a game that's like heavy on the RPG side and the combat we always say is like, eh, or you get something that's like God of War but doesn't have any customization, you know? - Mass Effect 2 was a good attempt to bridge that gap. - And I would say that up until Mass Effect 2, the only game that I really felt successfully bridged that gap was the original Deus Ex. - Yeah, and not only Mass Effect 2 is missing his better armor. - Yeah, I'm gonna give you enough. - Kinda go with Tom Chick in saying that the shooting in combat in Deus Ex was a big public crap. - Deus Ex 1? - Yeah. - You know, I would be interested to go back and play that now 'cause I haven't played that game for a number of years. But like, oh yeah, but I mean like back when it came out, it wasn't ugly. - It was not that good looking when it came out. I played it when it came out. - It wasn't the looking part, right? It was just the sheer possibilities of like, "Jesus Christ, I can go up the side of that fucking statue." (laughing) - Dude. - Yeah, I'm psyched about that third one. I mean, I would only have to see that CG trailer to be psyched about it. - That's a little game where they're saying, they're saying all the right things for that game. - Yeah, apparently they're showing all the right things to the unfortunate bastards that actually got to see the game. - I think it's see it. - I think it's see that thing. - It's only internet. - Yeah, but you can't. - Dude, it still gets my boner going so much. Because like, you know, I love design and everything so much. - And you love boners. - I feel so fortunate that Arthur and I, we got to sit on that art directors panel at GDC, man. That was fascinating. I love it. - Not bad. - So fascinating that they tried to recycle it into presentations at two other events. - Yeah, that they did. - So, going since you guys like design so much, Angel Fan 91, he writes in and says, "I has a design choice in a game. "Ever made you so turned off "that you just couldn't play it anymore." I mean, like, has ever been a game you're kind of like, "I like this, but this one thing just--" - Almost, it all gears of war, first gears of war, it almost did it to me. The enemies. - Also. - Because the, I got so, I was so tired of fighting Strog at that point that when Gears of War came out and here I am like fighting Strog again, I don't care what they're named. I seriously was like, "I don't ever wanna shoot these guys again." - Blah. (laughing) - But it turned out that the comment in that game was so good that I just had to keep playing it. - Infinite Space, pretty much all the design choice. - Yeah, I wanted Infinite Space to be so good too. - It was good if you have, like, infinite patience. (laughing) - Yeah. - Is that that DS game? - That's the one me and you tried to-- - Oh, holy fuck, man. - Oh, wow. - Dude, I'd love to get a piece of that developer's ear. - But wasn't this thing like a single design choice? - No, he didn't say single, but he said the design choice that basically made a game unplayable for you. - I could pick that one out individually if you wanted to. (laughing) - The ship building? - That wasn't sane. - I mean, I'm usually pretty tolerant. Like, I can get past one or two things that are really, I can't think of any time where I've been like, the music in this, I just can't play it. - Yeah. - Yeah, 'cause you're gonna turn the music off. - Yeah, I can be a good, relevant example though, like, and this is strictly design aesthetic, like font, color, choice, and everything is a crackdown too, man, when you go into the pause menu, it is so fucking horrible. - It is. - Or actually all of their menu, and font, and color, and scheme, and choice, it's so terrible that that adds to the fact that I'm not gonna go back to that game ever. - Speaking of bad design choices, like ruining the city, ruining the city in that game was a bad idea. - Yeah, and their map, like, oh, oh, oh, oh. - Ninja, ninja, a guy in the next box, you gotta go into the pause menu to use items. That was a pretty, that was a pretty kick you in the teeth design decision. I still loved it, but-- - I think going back, it feels like more of a kick in the teeth than it did while you were playing it, because I was just like, oh, well, this is what you do in these games. - Well, I wanted to love it so much that I didn't care at the time, but-- - Right, and I still love that game. - Then later, they're like, now you can use items. - Ninja, I wish I could do that. - I wish I could do that. - There hasn't been a game as good as Ninja Guide in this console generation as far as what it does, and that makes me sad. - It kind of seems like it makes sense to me that you would pause to use a healing item in that game, because for me, like, I never beat Ninja Guide, and I really enjoyed what I played, and I intended to finish, but I don't remember what came up. But anyway, like, I was playing it, and I would hit the pause just to like, go (laughs) and then go use a healing item, and go, okay. - Yeah. - I'm gonna get back into it. - Yeah, that's true, you didn't need to take breaks, but it's like, if you had to move to that star button for healing item, you're like, okay, get ready, get ready, get ready. Yeah, and you're like, no, you're dead, not fast enough. - Good point. - I've played a game recently, and I think about it that has a design thing that might make me not play it, okay. And that's the old republic, that's the Star Wars MMO. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - They do not have the ability to just auto-enable auto-attack currently. And we asked them about that, and they said they were still deciding if they were gonna do that or not. So you currently have to just sit there and mash one the whole time to make sure you attack. That alone is like, I know it sounds like such a tiny thing, but when you fight, that's a huge thing. - That's a weird UI thing to overlook. - That's a huge thing. - Yeah, well, they just said that they weren't sure, 'cause I think they wanted players to sit there and feel like I'm swinging my lightsaber, you know, and it's just like, for me, I was like, no, I just wanted to be there. - Like, swinging your lightsaber is fun for maybe the first four hours. After that, it's like, I really just want this to auto-attack. - Maybe you have to, maybe you have to earn it. (laughing) That would piss me off too. God damn. - It's a talent that only one class had. Like, go tour two when you didn't get your lightsaber for like 28 hours or so. (laughing) - It was still fun, though. - Okay, what, Gersh, Gershobel, Gershobel, says best game marketing campaigns are ads, and his picks are the old Ratchet and Clank games as well as the Giers mad world commercial. - Those are both really good choices, right? - Yeah, we're talking TV ads or print ads. - I think either way, I mean, I think the Halo campaign for three was great. - Yeah, the ad campaign for Halo 3 was phenomenal. - And ODST. - Yeah, that's-- - They've had pretty good. - I thought ODSTs were good, but they weren't nearly as good as Henry's. - They weren't as good as Henry's. - Microsoft has done a really good job with advertising this generation, which is a little surprising. - Well, because I lack imagination, and this is what we were just talking about, the old republic, you know, like their-- - Any of those-- - Oh, they look as hard games with their trailers. - Those trailers have been-- - Yeah, like, incredible. - There's very rare game where I see a trailer, see something live action where I go like, I wanna play that because I'm just like, I don't see anything, but like those trailers for those games, they make me wanna play this. - Why can't I-- - Why can't I think of the studio that does them? - Blur, Blur, yeah, Blur. - Yeah, I mean, they are the best CG people out there. - Yep, so I told you guys how I met the guy who's the Jedi, right, at E3? - Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, he looks-- - Oh, wow. - He came up with me, and he has a bit of a New York accent. - Wait, which Jedi? - The guy that plays the main Jedi in the first trailer. - In the first trailer, the guy who dies. - Who dies, gets his ass kicked, and it's like, hey, I wanna tell you, I'm from Blur, and I do all of the, you know, mocapping. I'm the guy who does the martial arts. He choreographs them, so he did the Jedi fight that everybody's like, I wish Jedi has fought like that. He was like, yeah, yeah, yeah, I got a background in this and that, and you know, I choreographed that, and I'm like, something weird about this guy, I'm like, wait, are you the, you look like that Jedi? He's like, oh, yeah, they kinda based him off me. I'm like, I'm talking to the Jedi, that's the dude. He looks like him, that's awesome. - Can you, can you, like, force push me across the board now? (laughing) - What color is your white sleeper? - Dude, I just want somebody to, like, go, hey, Blur. - Make a movie. - Make a movie. - Exactly. - Make a fucking movie. - They did all the great-- - Hey, give us 75 million, though. - They did all the great Dawn of War videos. Like, every video has been for any game. - I talked to him about that, too, and he was like, well, you know, we get tied up and legal a lot. - That's the reason we couldn't interview him about the trailers, because LucasArches is like, no, you're not talking to Blur. - Are we at the center, everything you just said? - No, no, I mean, it's knowledge, common knowledge, they did that, but they won't let them go and do interviews about the game, you know, like-- - So, I mean, stuff like this really frustrates me because it's something Star Wars that a lot of people love, but then Lucas wants to throw up this, like, gate of like, no, it is not gonna be this, it's gonna be this, like, and you are gonna like it. - They want, that's 'cause they want you to think that everything comes from Lucas. They don't want you to know that they use subcontractors to do this stuff. - And you get a stranglehold on the mythology if you have something that powerful, I guess, but he was telling me, you know, like, you know, all this, yeah, we've been working on this movie in that movie, but they're always kind of caught up in, like, rights and-- - They should just make an original movie. - They could, like, 'cause they just do such good work. - Uh-huh, it's not a big studio, either. - As far as the advertising thing goes, can we have our obligatory Kevin Butler? - I mean, yeah, Kevin Butler. - And also, like, the jump in campaign when the 360 first came out, like, all those commercials, like, the water balloon fight and the-- - That was banned. - Oh, yeah, that was pretty cool. I don't think I remember this. - And the gun commercial where everyone was going, bang! - That was banned, yeah, those are both banned. - Kevin Butler, the guy who was head of that agent agency, was recently, pushed by Activision this way. - Right. - Was he really? - He's head of publishing now, yeah. - At Activision? - Yeah. - What? - He created Kevin Butler, he isn't Kevin Butler. - Oh, I thought he was an actual Kevin Butler. - No, no, no, no, no. - Guys, we gotta hire this actor that knows nothing about games. We are-- - I was confused by the company levels. - The guy who headed the agency that worked on the Kevin Butler campaign. - Guys, yeah. - So the first good Sony ad campaign in about three and a half years. - The Sonic campaign where the guys were riding around in invisible chairs through walls. - Remember that one? - I don't know. - But that sounds awesome. - And they screamed Sega, yeah, like they always did at the end of the day. - Yeah, all the Sega commercials back in. - Yep. - They all worked, blast processing. - Hey, you about a Saturn. - Bob, Bob, blah, blah, blah. He says, what is your go-to stress release game? - Bob, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. - Yeah. - Bob, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. - Charles in charge. - What is your go-to stress relief game? Stress relief, just like I got like 20 minutes. - Geometry war is retro vault two. - I think Plants vs. Zombies has kind of been it for me too, just 'cause I can zone out on that. - Doesn't require a lot of thinking. - Luminous. - Actually, World of Warcraft got me through kind of a weird time in my life. - That is an excellent point, actually. I'm changing mine to World of Warcraft. - I remember that, not how you mention it. - Like, seriously, that's a game that you can zone the fuck out in. - Yes, World of Warcraft is my go-to escapism game. - That's for sure. - This might sound weird, but bad companies kind of, that's the, that game is that for me. - It's just me. - I don't understand how you can only spend like 20 minutes playing that game. I can't get out of that without spending 45 minutes or an hour. - 45 is like, the low end for me, yeah. - I just feel like I'm owning my skills in Geometry Wars, like I'm in some Shaolin temple training. - That must be where Tyler's at with bad company, is that like, you're just so good at it, you're like, I'm just like, I'm Zen master. - I just, yeah, I don't know, I just like, I like running, and the way bad company just sort of like throws you in a bunch of different situations, I don't know. - We'll do a couple more. - So this one's from Phoenix Nixka, Phoenixka. Okay, nevermind, Phoenixka. When do games stop being clones of an innovative game and become their own genre, i.e. Doom clones, you know, becoming FPS? - Gears of War. - Like yeah, like when, at what point do we stop calling it? Like, oh, Gears of War clone or something like that, and we just say, oh, it's a third person cover game. - When they shift the goal post to something different. - What do you mean? - Like, GoldenEye was cited as a big thing for console shooters, but I would say like, doom let into Quake because Quake added full 3D support and looking around and looking up and down and all that shit. Quake 2's multiplayer shifted the landscape. Quake 3 furthered that. - Right, but we still don't just call these other games like Quake 2 clones or anything like that. Like, no, but eventually like, you have a game that's so influential that every other game starts by mimicking that and then adding iteration. Like for a long time, Halo was the shooter that everyone imitated and now it's Halo and Call of Duty. - Do you think we're at the point now where there's so many like modern warfare games that people are, that's just gonna be coming in an established genre? - I think it is already. - I think it is too, there was a, it depends on your reference point. If you're a game historian, it's one thing, but if you're just somebody who plays like it, Call of Duty is a console. - Is that all about, or is it so low? - It's funny because actually there's this great image, just a single image thing on Cracked website that Ryan Scott linked me to today and it was so good 'cause it was like the state of console games and it was like a pick screenshot from Killzone 2, Medal of Honor and Modern Warfare 2 and they almost looked identical. Like it was the exact same gun, which was the exact same blood splatter on the screen. - Right, I actually had a brief conversation with Sean Elliott last year at PAX about this. Like we were walking around the show floor, this is like Sean and his germaphobe thing doesn't wanna be led around without an escort because he doesn't wanna actually explore. So it's like, show me what I need to see. And we walk past like Killzone at the Sony booth and he's like, this shit just looks the same to me. Like all this, I don't wanna fucking live in that reality. - Yeah, yeah, but I guess what I mean is like from this point forward are, is there always going to be like, 'cause you know, we've had like World War II games for a long time and but I don't think people still think of that as like, oh, they don't like link World War II with being a genre, it's just a type of FPS, right? But now it's almost to the point where Modern Warfare has become a genre. You know, so like, maybe I'm just wondering if it's like, if we're at a point where from now forward, there's always gonna be Modern Warfare games on this state, on this. - I have there always been Modern Warfare games in a way though, like there's always been that. - Yeah, but we still cut, but that's what I'm saying. Like we still call them like, we still think of them as FPSes, you know? Like, you know, to his question, like when does something move on from becoming a doom clone to becoming FPS? Have we moved on from things becoming just an FPS to becoming a Modern Warfare? Like I-- - Yeah, I think so, because you're really referencing a really specific set of qualities that didn't exist in the previous, you know, name. FPS didn't include the fact that you're really going on and playing multiplayer for points, which is what makes these games so popular now. And like, people may not be thinking that that's what they're talking about, but that's what they're talking about. They're still talking about it. They're still talking about it. They're still talking about it. They're still talking about it. And they're with the headset with their buddies and leveling up and, you know, that's like what the reference is to. - Yeah, yeah, good point. So they all best be subconscious, but-- - And on another note, I just feel like first person shooters have progressed so much that we're in a point where you can do so many different things with a first person game that-- - I mean, they don't even have to be shooters anymore. - Right, like meers, I have just an example of a first person game. - Or condemned. - Or condemned. - Portal. - Portal. - Portal. - All right, the last one we'll do is from Paul Schmalk. And he says, "How would you convince hardcore gamers "to buy connect with a crowbar?" (laughing) With a crowbar simulator, half life. - It honestly doesn't seem to me like Microsoft's particularly concerned with that audience. As much as they'll say, hardcore gamers will be the ones that buy it first. It's because they know your whores. - Yeah, exactly. - And you'll buy it because it's for your system, just like a bunch of-- - I mean, I think hardcore kids are gonna buy it to interface with it rather than play games. At least it won't, anyway. So if they buy it. - Yeah, I think the only way that you convince them to do it is you say, "Hey, you can control Netflix with it." - Right. You don't have to, you can wave your arms around. - Yeah. - Yeah, man, as long as I can like pause my media center stuff by saying-- - By saying pause. - Yeah, oh my God, media center controls so horribly with the controller 'cause I don't have like the remote control. - Yeah. - Oh, God. - Connect. - Okay, grind achievements. (laughing) - Yeah, if you can get achievements for doing some good many things, you waved your arms around. - I don't know. - He's saying like you voice commander connect to grind achievements. - Oh. - Connect, make me dinner. - You know what, if that steel battalion game with Connect actually happens, I think that a lot of hard core is gonna throw their hands in the air and-- - Oh, man, I'm not playing that game again. (laughing) - I'm not tricked into buying that. - Child of Eden, I think, is something that could push some people over. - Some people, yes. - Yeah, but you can play it without Connect too, so yeah. - Right, but that game, that's just, I want to play that with Connect. - I do too, but it seems like my arms are getting tired. - Right. No, because how long could that game possibly last? Like how long can you play, like how quickly can you play through res? - 'Til the buzzwares off, man. (laughing) I don't know, I mean, if they do a Halo Wars II using Connect, like as an RTS. - They do a Halo Wars II and they tell me I have to buy a bansheel by that game. (laughing) - I won't buy a car for that game. - Elephants for life, that's a game that Dave isn't seeing for. - That is the one thing that like, you know, that's the one thing that they still haven't even gotten right on the iPad is, you know, it seems like real-time strategy is the ultimate genre for touch-based and motion-based interfaces like that. So if somebody, if they can do a Halo Wars II thing that's all around Connect, that could be awesome. Halo Wars and the iPad would be totally awesome. Yeah, it really would be. - No, it really would be. - Every time I tried to play an RTS on the iPad, it just hasn't been up to the task. - Oh, Halo Wars is made for that stuff. - Yeah, it's all about like how it's done. It's just, you know, you may have played ones that like don't run well, but that's not a fault of the genre's potential. That's a fault of the individual game-based. - Which one did you play, Commander Conger? - Yeah, that's SimCity also. Just did not run at all. Like it just ran like a train wreck. - The Halo War guys, are they working on that Spartan game? - There are no Halo Wars strategies. - Nope. - Well, I know, but they're a team we're on to make. - You know, I did hear that some excellent ensemble guys are working on something. - It's like a strategy. - So ensemble became robot and they are working on Spartan, which everybody thought would be Halo or into, but apparently it's not. - Yeah. - But on their website, which they revamped last week, 'cause I check it like hourly or so, they have unannounced project number two under that. So, fingers crossed. - And we know that 343 is working on something big. - That'd be awesome. - Possibly not to multiple something big. - That'd be awesome if their game actually was called. (laughing) - It wouldn't be the seat for this name if the game I've ever seen. (laughing) - And the box coverage is a hard hat. (laughing) All right, we'll take a one final break. And then we'll make you like it. And we'll see if we can replace all the rest of it. (laughing) (upbeat rock music) ♪ From this cloud ♪ ♪ Take me all this time to find out what I need ♪ ♪ Yeah, yeah, yeah ♪ ♪ I wanna come back down from this cloud ♪ ♪ Take me all this time ♪ (upbeat rock music) ♪ Show, show, show, show, show, show ♪ ♪ You're mine ♪ (upbeat rock music) - All right, so we got a surprisingly amount of, surprisingly large amounts of bad and/or relationship letters, this was last week. - Cool. - That was, so, so something you said. - It's only Dave. - Andrew wrote in and he said, "I'm a 21 year old that has not done a single thing "with a girl. "I've always had a smaller group of friends, "all of which have been used." - Wait, like no kissing, no nothing. - And I'm generally yes. A very reserved and shy person until I get to know someone. My current standing is as a junior in college, going for a degree in computer science. Let's just say that my entire college career has taken place in a building where girls are extinct. I don't live on campus and spent all of my time outside of class either coding to keep up in school, like you said, it's a very intense major, or airbrushing and drawing at my apartment, which he attached a few photos of and he's really fucking good. - Wow, can I see him? - Yeah, I drive, he says I drive a mind-numbingly douchey sports car, huge car guy, not a tool. Not sure whether that is a plus or minus. Hearing all brownly and barbers escapades, really has hung me up on the way things are going for me in the opposite sex department, is it depressing to say the least, or it is depressing to say the least. It's a rebel of him, I've come for advice, pro tips, anything else you can tell me to get the ball rolling. - Riffy, dude, riffy. (laughing) And if that doesn't work, just kill yourself. (laughing) - You can make art, you should be getting girls all over the place, and stop making call of duty. - How about you not paint Medal of Honor and Call of Duty? - Yeah, but those are really good. - Those are sweet, but-- - Painting dudes in uniform is not gonna get you too late. - Dude, what you need to do is you need to start hanging out with the low rider crew, and you'll become known around all the low rider guys that the dude that can do fucking bad ass white tigers and Aztec warriors on the track. - How about you? - That's you, that's legal ladies. - Then you drop them, don't ask. - If you're an artist and you wanna make girls, art classes are a great place to meet them. - I mean, yeah, you have art talent. Maybe you can go get a computer science. - You can go get an A and an art class for fun. - Yeah, in fact, if you're a-- - Take a breather, man. - If he's 21, never did anything with a girl, you're old enough to take some community college classes, like take some life-drying classes. I mean, you may have to deal with some wood problems your first couple times that you have to draw naked ladies, but you'll get over that real quick once you get used to seeing them. - And it's not gonna be voluntary, 'cause chances are you're gonna be drawing mountainous piles of person. - Yeah, yes and no. I mean, like it changes all the time. I've drawn all types of body types. It's really enjoyable. - I had one model in college that she was unbelievably gorgeous. - Right. - I think I had one in the last figure drawing class I took, and it was like, every day she was there was like, "Kiss!" - And then I had one guy who just dripped the whole time. Oh, yep, it is what you're thinking. - Wow. - Oh, God. - That's right. That's right. So take some left drawing courses. (laughing) - I'm so glad you stayed for letters. (laughing) - It happened. I'm just sharing the truth with you. - The next letter is from Tendo, and he says, "Last week, y'all mentioned "that there's no girl and girl action in Mass Effect 2." He says, "I beg to differ. "During the course of my playthrough "with my lady, Shepherd, I completed the relationship. "All right, hold on, with you and Kelly Chambers, "the culmination of which is her coming up "to your chambers for dinner. "There's no love seen and romance is only implied. "However, after completing the game, "Sheppard receives a message at her private terminal "from Kelly Girl that says she can't stop thinking "about their evening together and would like to slip "into something more comfortable and come up "to your chambers. "Anyway, at any point that you returned to your room, "you can summon Kelly over the intercom. "She shows up in a pair of tight assholes pants "and will cuddle up to you on the sofa "and give you a stripper dance." - Yeah, that's real romantic. - That's not action. - Yeah. - You got to see Leora's ass. - I think the last guy would disagree. - No, that's just the thing is that there's, like, Bioware actually had, you know, same sex romances that related to the story and related to the characters and the interpersonal relationships with them. And like the Yeoman Chambers stuff, like while it's there, it's sort of just there. That was a fantastic argument. - You can fuck a dog in Dragon Age. It doesn't mean you can date one. (laughing) - What's the difference? (laughing) - All right. - Are they a feelings? - Well, I just read that because yeah, 'cause I didn't know that. - Yeah, I didn't know that, but it's not the same. - Yeah, it's not what we were saying is getting girl and girl relationships. - That's not, yeah, that's not the love interest. - That's a, ha, ha, ha, she came up to my room and never fed my fucking fish. (laughing) - All right, just read MiG's fanfic. (laughing) Luke writes in and he says, so he says, "I've been a lifelong console gamer, "but I'm finally building a PC "because I realize how cheap games are on Steam." So he says-- - The slippery slope that one did it. - I seem to remember that Anthony and Arthur helped Tyler build a computer, actually Arthur built Tyler, a computer. So I'm asking for help, and he just wants to know where he should look into building a computer for guides and for part recommendations. - Tom's hardware, I think, does a build guide for budget, gamer, and enthusiast price levels. A non-tech is another good place to check. - And then he says, "Bye parts, Newegg?" - Yeah, or I mean, if you've got an Amazon Prime membership, Amazon is actually a pretty decent place to buy computer parts, especially if you want it fast. - And Newegg's a really good place to go to read all of the comments. - Always read the low reviews. - Yeah, because sometimes they're people bitching and sometimes it's like, "Oh, it's a little bit of a dessert." - Yeah, because they might bring up something that no one else cares about. - Exactly, I bought a 10-inch case, and now it won't fit this and this. - Right, right, exactly. - All right, so Brinton writes in, he uses a short question, it's easy to answer. I was just wondering if any of you guys would be attending Comic Con this month, if so, would there be a meetup? - No. - No, nobody's going to Comic Con. - No Comic Con this year. - Nope. - There will be a packs, as any of myself. And Matt, it will be a packs. - Oh yeah, definitely. The whole area of five crew is going to be a packs. - Oh Jesus. - Yeah, we're all going. - Mothers lock up your daughters. - All right, Edward writes in and he says, "I have a rare problem of having too much female attention." Indeed, I developed the reputation as something of a man whore. I'm going into my sophomore year of high school and this month I've hooked up with six different girls. It's not uncommon for me to make out with three different girls on a single night, but recently, the reason he's saying this, I've started to develop more serious feelings with a girl that I made out with recently. She sees me as something of a scoundrel and I have done little to dissuade this perception. So my question for you today is, how do I win this girl who I've previously won over, but now I want more with? Don't stop being a scoundrel. - Life drawing class. (laughing) - Stop, stop making out with a bunch of other chicks. Why don't you ask her on a date? - Yeah, great, great big mystery there guy. You already know the answer. Why don't you ask him a question? - Well, basically he's looking for you. He doesn't have to give up. - How can I date her? - How can I date her? - How can I date her and still make out with a bunch of other chicks? (laughing) - You need to tell her you own the moon and you're a captain pirate. You're a pirate doctor. - Yeah. (laughing) - You why, basically, is what they're saying. - How do you like your eggs fertilized? (laughing) - Aw. - Okay. - I'm gonna miss you, Dave. (laughing) - So, oh, so Matt wrote in. He says, I know you're going to be podcasting at a panel at PAX, but I'm just wondering if there's going to be a more informal rebel if I meet up at some point during the weekend. Also, are all four of you regulars going to be there, Anthony, are there Tyler, Matt? I know three of us are, I don't know, Tyler? - I wanna go. - Awesome. - Okay, so more than likely, yes. What are the dates? Is it the middle of September? It's like the first week in September. - It's the first week in September. - It's the first week in. So, maybe not. But we'll see, but to answer your question, there will be a more informal rebel if I meet up, which will just be-- - Well, there's gonna be an idea-- - Yeah, a Jan meet up, and we will all be there as well. - And we're working on making that on all ages meet up this time, as opposed to-- - Well, last year it was, too. - I mean, as opposed to PAX East. - Yeah, this year, I mean, we should have a venue where people that wanna drink can and people that don't care to, can or can't, can still come. Okay, Jonesy writes in and he says, "I know I'm not a podcast god, "like the rebel of Phan Pantheon." So maybe I'm completely wrong in my opinion. - Yeah, you're already wrong. - But could you please cut down the first segment and limit the number of gains you talk about? It was fine when it was just three of you, but since Matt Chandranay became-- - Do you do all capital letters or something? - No, no, it goes a little long. I just feel like that's how you wrote it. This is a reflection on Matt. I love the guy as much as I could love any my internet pseudo-celebrity. Just that the guy-- - Oh, okay. - Just that the extra guy adds a lot of time to that segment. I just think you should focus more on the topic and letters, especially relationship letters. Those are awesome. I know it's not love line, but it's fun to hear personal stories of random geeked in. - I'm just fast forward. - I'm just saying. - Don't you fucking bring logic into an internet discussion. - I would actually just, from now on, when they say, what game did you play Matt? Just skip forward, like five to 10 minutes. - Basically, we've had more people write in though and say the exact opposite. They basically wish the show was just the first segment. - Right. - Probably listen to it backwards. - The random bullshit. (laughing) - Basically, the answer to the solution to your thing is life drying class. - They hate random bullshit, huh? Well, they're not gonna like this episode. Sorry. - So Kim writes in. - Yeah. - I just got off the phone with my good, I think it is a guy. 'Cause his name is, well, I'm not fine. - He still gets a yeah. - So, I just got off the phone with a good friend who also happens to be a female. She said that she really wanted to get together. And when I asked her what she wanted to do, she said that she wanted to go to the movies or perhaps hang out at her house. I really like her and this would be great under normal circumstances. However, she already has a boyfriend who, during our conversation, my friend applied that she would be willing to leave in order to be with me. Most of the time, I wouldn't mind screwing over a boyfriend, but next year, all three of us are going to be participating in the IB program at my school, which were required to spend a lot of time together. - Yeah. - Mike, did he say how old he is? - No, I don't know what IB is either. He's 10. - My question is, what is the best thing I could do that wouldn't piss her or her boyfriend off? Should I even worry about what her boyfriend thinks? - The best thing you can do not to piss her boyfriend off would be not to fuck his girlfriend. - Challenge him to a duel. (laughing) - I would say that-- - I would say that sounds like a situation you need to avoid. - Or just bring it up with him and be like, "Look, she's gonna drop the zero and get with the hero." - So. (laughing) - Sack up, bro. (laughing) - Win. (laughing) - Oh, I wish you were around to give me advice in high school. - So you got a letter, Ian? - I do. - Okay. - This is from Bobby Allaire. He says, "I was just counting up my games to see how many I had that I haven't beaten. Turns out I have about 20 in my collection. What is it that makes us put games down? I am in a budget crunch and I still find myself buying new games just to check them out. - That's it, right there. This 20 passable experience is waiting to be had right here. How many games do you guys have laying around that you've fallen out of, excluding any played for review, of course? - David, you shook your head like this man was an idiot. - I mean, there's plenty of rental services these days. What are you doing? (laughing) - You know what happens when I sign up to Gamefly? I fucking get a game from Gamefly and it sits on my shelf. - Yeah, well, at least you spent less money than this guy. - No, because I have one game for six months. - Well. (laughing) I mean, he should do that. I'm buying games and putting them to the side is just insane to me. I never had that luxury ever and then I worked in the industry and I still treat games like they're golden treasures, you know? (laughing) I'll play bad ones to completion because of that. But, yeah, rental. - There you go. - Sounds like I'm playing words of wisdom. - Jared writes in and he says, in last week's hidden gym segment Anthony was surprised at a reader spending 250 hours playing one game and that's got me thinking, what game have you spent the most time playing? I'm a shamefully admit that I spent slightly over 3,000 hours playing Fantasy Star Universe for 360 over the course of about two years. - That game is so bad. - It is not a particularly good game and I'm unsure why I played it so much. But for some reason, I don't regret the time I put in it. So his question is, what game is stolen the most of your life? - Why don't you regret that? - Well, didn't let that happen again. - Was it in a coma and somebody turned it on? Put the controller in his hands? - Three doubt. - I mean EverQuest, I remember when I finally quit EverQuest, my fiber to type in slash play would say like three months, 26 days, something like that. - Yeah, play time, yeah. - Play time, yeah. - I had Lyme disease once and I played Morrowind for, I played, yeah, Morrowind for an entire summer. I mean, the entire summer. - Wow. - Wow. - Wow. - That game is huge. That's no Fantasy Star Universe. - Sure, and I don't remember most of it to be honest 'cause I was dying, but. (laughing) (laughing) - They're real downer at parties. (laughing) - Also, okay, so I wanted to read this letter. So this guy, Twitter message just says a lot, his name is Count Fenring. - Right, that name sounds familiar. - Do I hate that guy? - I don't know, but this message was just so bizarre that I had to read it. The subject title was, someone took my wallet. (laughing) And he says, "Dear Rebel FM, "last week a friend of mine stole my wallet as a joke. "What is an appropriate course of action for me to take? "It didn't have any cash in it, "and he hasn't used my card." That's the end of the message. - Ask the board, fuck. He's your friend. - He's your reporter to the poo-wees. - Goldcops, tell his mom. Tell him he murdered someone. (laughing) - I'd say yes. - Well no, first you kill someone and hide their body on his property, and then you call the cops. - Yeah, then you plant his wallet on the body. (laughing) - Still his car. - Did you go pursue my wallet? (laughing) - Okay. - Still his car keys. - Burn his house down. Okay, I got one more. - All right. - Uh-oh. - Jack writes in. I have a somewhat unusual relationship question for you guys. I'm a 21-year-old university student living in Adelaide, South Australia. Recently some female friends of mine dragged me to dancing lessons, and I had a great time and met some interesting people. One of these interesting people is one of the instructors, a woman of late 20s who pulls off this short red-haired, live, sexy look really well. - Oh, yeah, that's a hard look to pull off. - Against all odds. (laughing) We started relationship and it's mostly going really well, but there is one problem. - I'm 12. - The woman is into bondage, specifically being dominated. At first I thought this wouldn't be a big deal. It's not like the sex is exclusively this kind of stuff. Fake, but some of it kind of freaks me out. I mean, when she asked me to spank her, I thought she meant playfully cup her ass. Instead, she got me to paddle. - I thought she means it hard. - She meant she got me to paddle her. I think I can handle some of this stuff, but I'm not sure I'll be okay when the chains come out of her cupboard. So my question is, so I just continue with this bondage stuff, even though it's not my thing, but she's really into it. What do I stop doing it because it scares me a little, and I think she wants me to do a bit more than just spank her. You gotta live a little. This is San Francisco, the big, easy. That's why you gotta stop using a safe word. (laughing) She's scared. - First off, more girls than you think are into that kind of stuff. - Yeah, so just hit him willy-dilly. (laughing) - All right, so next time you meet a nice girl, like while you're at dinner, just slap her in the face. (laughing) If you really like her, and it's worth it to you to keep it going, and what you're doing is. - Just punch her. (laughing) - I'm trying to get seriously, I swear to you. (laughing) I am. (laughing) If you like her, and it doesn't creep you out too much to spank her, then that's one thing. I mean, if she's into choking and you can't do it, then that's a relationship. - Basically, you're in a relationship, you should express to her what you are and aren't comfortable with. - Right. - Practice on a doll. Just beat the shit out of the cap. (laughing) - Show me on the doll what you'd like me to talk about. (laughing) - Jesus Christ. (laughing) - Remember, you can say that it would be day of the dear reality. (laughing) - You could send us your letters, to letters at eat. (laughing) - That's sleep, dash game.com. Eat, dash sleep, dash game.com. Letters that eat, dash sleep. - And that guy who suggested Arson murder and abuse was Nate Hernd, who's been on this podcast. (laughing) - You can find us all on Twitter. You can find Matt at twitter.com/talkingorange. Arthur at twitter.com/AGIS. Tyler at twitter.com/drt like the drink and me at twitter.com/chiefmoney and I'm actually not familiar with what Dave's Twitter feeds. - I'm actually on there's David Klayman, but I'm not very interesting. I don't really share my thoughts with the outside world. - Did you have a letter you wanted to read? - What's that other Twitter account you maintain? - I have no knowledge of another Twitter. (laughing) - You'd have to ask Ubisoft. (laughing) I beat women, dawg. - Did you have another letter you wanted to read? - No, I just wanted to say hi to Josh who we saw. We stopped us at the bar at station yesterday to say hi. And then backed up, backed up really weirdly saying, I don't want this to be weird. (laughing) He was funny, he met us and he was like, "Hey, I listened to you guys, it was just on your hand." And then he said, "This doesn't have to be awkward." And he just kind of walked off it. (laughing) - Josh, I'm gonna be honest, it has to be awkward. It's always awkward. - Did you pull a knife on him or something? - But we appreciate you listening and there was definitely no trouble at all to say hello and for you to tell us that you like listening, we appreciate it. - Awkward. - All right. - Now that I've been mad, he might have hunched your leg. - That's it, that's all you guys get. I do that. Fuck all y'all. (clearing throat) - What Tyler? - Oh, I was, I'm on the Gamertard podcast this week. - Gamertard? - They got a really classy name. (laughing) - Aw man, that's taken. (laughing) - Five bitches. (rock music) (rock music) ♪ And I wonder ♪ ♪ Everything I never feel is real forever ♪ ♪ Anything I never feel is good ♪ ♪ Oh yeah ♪ ♪ Oh, I think I never ask of you ♪ ♪ Got a promise not to stop when I say ♪ ♪ I think I never feel is real forever ♪ (rock music) (rock music) (rock music) (rock music) [BLANK_AUDIO]