Gateway Church's Podcast
Off Topic | Here's My Prayer | Don't Let Them Settle
Welcome to the Seven Audio Podcast. Seven is a community of young adults and a ministry of Gateway Church in Dallas Fort Worth. We hope you enjoy this week's message. The title of tonight's message, I guess this is a three-week series called "Here's My Prayer" and it's my prayer for you. And the title of tonight's message is very simple. Don't let them settle. One of the first things I always ask God about as it relates to you guys, is don't let them settle. One of the biggest pressures at this stage of life is the pressure to settle. And I'm going to read something out of Genesis chapter 12. And then I'm going to show you something I promise you you've never seen before in your entire life. And if you have, you trump me and you win. Genesis chapter 12, only verse one. The Lord had said to Abram, "Leave your native country, your relatives and your father's family, and go to the land that I will show you." I don't know how many times we've read that verse in church. It's a lot. Now I want you to look at the several verses right before chapter 12, the last two verses of chapter 11. One day, Tara took his son Abram and his daughter-in-law Sarah and his grandson Lot and moved away from Ur of the Chaldeans. He was headed for the land of Canaan, but they stopped at Heran and settled there. Abram's daddy was headed for the Promised Land, but he stopped at Heran and settled there. Tara lived for 205 years and unfortunately died while still in Heran. My prayer for you is that God would never let you settle. And tonight what I want to do very briefly is talk to you about the difference between settlers and pioneer. For taking notes, here's the first point. Settlers always move. Pioneers always leave. Settlers always move. Pioneers always leave. God says to Abram, leave your country. God says of Tara that he moved away. Now here's what's interesting about Tara's move from Ur of the Chaldeans to Heran. See, you might think, oh, that's impressive. The guy picks up his family in all of his possessions and he leaves Ur of the Chaldeans and is headed toward Canaan. Abram's Promised Land. And he's not able to go the distance, so he stops along the way. Not that big of a deal. It was a long journey. Here's the problem. Before he was in Ur, he was in Heran. He left Heran and went to Ur. And on his way to Canaan, he fell back into Heran. Unfortunately, a part of my job is counseling with people whom God has proclaimed. They have a Canaan in front of them. They have the marriage of their dreams in front of them. They have the life they can't even imagine in front of them. But somewhere along the way, on the way to Canaan, they fall back into Heran. Tara was a settler. Abram was a pioneer. Settlers move away. Listen to me. Anything you move out of, you'll be tempted to move back into. But when you leave something, you don't ever look back. Ask Lot. Better yet, ask his wife. When God tells you to leave, not only do you not go back, you don't even look back. Here's why. Because what's ahead of you is so much better than what's behind you. God says, "Don't diss me by looking back. Just trust me that what's ahead is so much better than what's behind." But settlers hate to wait. Settlers hate to wait. So what do they do? They look for the best place to stop along the way. Most people settle in life because they don't trust the veracity of God's generosity. Some of you are going, "What does veracity mean?" It means accuracy. It means truth. Most people settle in life because they don't trust the accuracy or the truth of God's generosity for their life. Here's another way to put that. Most people settle in life because they don't trust the aim of God. God is aiming His generosity at you right now. Well, Preston, it doesn't feel like it because I'm poor. I'm not just talking about financially. I'm talking about in every area of your life. Yeah, Preston, I'm miserable. It doesn't seem like God's very generous right now. And some of you, let's just talk about dating relationships. Some of you are hopping from relationship to relationship to relationship to relationship and you are convincing yourself that you're doing it to give God as many chances as possible. (Laughter) God, I just want to see. I'm just going to give you as many chances as you want. This is basically the bachelorette. (Laughter) And you just tell me who gets the rose, God. Listen to me. You don't need. I'm talking just to the settlers right now. You don't need to give God more tries. You just need to give it more time. But I hate to wait, then you'll settle. I can't stand waiting. Then I promise you'll settle. Because here's what happens while you wait for the promise of God. You become convinced that you're entitled to it. And anything you feel entitled to, if you don't receive it on your timeline, you'll try and steal it. So what do you do? You just get married. You just go get that job that you know you're not supposed to have. You just max that credit card out, because God wants me to be happy. Mm-hmm. Settlers are always looking for excuses to stay a while. Pioneers get stir crazy until they get to Canaan. Terror was on his way to Canaan. But he stopped. Oh, let me say this. For those of you who are going to be parents one day, I'll give you the number one reason why you should never settle in any area of life. You ready for it? Parents who settle give birth to children who grow up and conquer. Now that sounds good to you right now, but here's the problem. Children who grow up and conquer are the same children God tells to leave, Heron, and the problem is if you settle in Heron, your children will grow up and conquer in another land. And they will fear going back to the place God told them to leave. Want a great example? You just marry anybody just to get married. You're sick of being lonely, so you get married. Your daughters grow up watching you as a wife. Look a man in the eye without loving him, and your daughters make a vow to themselves. I will never do that. You think it doesn't cost you relationship with your daughters, but your daughters want to be in healthy, positive relationships. They want to fall in love with a man that they can't live without. And it scares them to be around people who settled. When every night of their lives, God's whispering to them, you're created to conquer. Parents who settle give birth to children who conquer. And those children don't just move out, they leave Heron. For Cain. So if you're going to be a parent, probably not a bad idea. Not to settle. If you're taking notes, you can just write this down. This is for free. For all of you who hate to wait and love to take matters into your own hands. Don't let your need to have something now force you to rule in everything. And just accept anything. Don't let your need to have something now force you to rule in everything. And settle for just anything. Here's the second point. Settlers intend to pioneer. Pioneers refuse not to. Settlers have the intention of pioneering. No settler ever has the intention of settling in Heron. Because the moment God tells you, "Hey, it's time to go to Canaan." You're all jacked up about Canaan. But then when you start to realize just how far Canaan is away, there are some days Canaan is a problem. And you haven't even gotten there yet. So what does Tara do? Tara, what do I want to go that far? So he goes back to the place where he was most comfortable. And he dies there. I don't know about you, but that sounds unbelievably boring to me. I'm at my best when I'm uncomfortable. So are you. Want to know what you look like when you're comfortable? A sleep. Doing nothing. Sunday afternoon watching golf. Ladies, I don't know how you fall asleep on Sunday afternoon. I mean, maybe listening to golf too. I don't know. Whatever you do. I don't want to live that life. I don't want to be so comfortable that I die in comfort. Don't settle. Settlers never intended to settle. When God told them they were going to Canaan, they had every intention to get there. But they don't make it. Have you ever heard people say life is full of regrets? First off, that's a word curse. So somebody says that to you. You just say, not mine. Life is full of regrets. You want to know what regret is? Here's regret. Regret is the result of meaning to do it one way and choosing to do it another. Regret is the result of meaning to do it one way and choosing to do it another. How many couples who are dating intend to abstain from sex before marriage? Many. But let me challenge you, if it's only your intention to go without sex before marriage. It's not quite the same thing as refusing to go without sex before marriage. See, settlers intend to. They have intentions, pioneers refuse. Play to your own life. How many times in a day do you say, I'm meant to do that? Let me give you something practical. Here's one way to immediately change your life. Every time you catch yourself saying, ah, I'm meant to do that, do it right then. I know it sounds unbelievably elementary. It will save your life sometime down the road. It will make you so much happier than you thought you ever would be. Most people are content to simply say, well, I'm meant to. Settlers are content to mean to. But let me ask you this question. How would your life change if you are meant to, turned into must do? Well, I'm meant to go watch my son play his soccer game this weekend, but I couldn't quite make it. But I'm meant to, son. I really tried to, buddy. While I'm meant to go see my daughter do her gymnastics, I'm meant to. I couldn't make it. Meant to doesn't mean anything. Imagine standing before God on the day of judgment and saying, well, I'm meant to ask you into my heart. I talked a lot about it. I'm meant to, I just never got around to it. If you will adopt this one thought, every time you catch yourself saying, I'm meant to, if you will turn that into, I will do. You have no idea what life will look like. Because the enemy comes to you when you say, I'm meant to and goes, ah, the moment's gone. Don't worry about it. The moment isn't gone. You have the rest of your life to get that moment right. When I misspeak with my wife, there are two ways to make it right. I can either just act like it never happened and say, well, I'm meant to say something else and just let it be and let it be mad at me or in the middle of the sentence, I can stop myself and say, you know what? I did not mean to say that. Here's what I should say. Please forgive me. Don't let your meant to turn into never do. Turn them into must do. Because that's the way a pioneer thinks. Pioneer never makes it to the promised land without refusing to say no to some things. The least of which is settling. If you're setting boundaries for your life, anytime you have an intention, you will move that boundary. But when you refuse to, that boundary will tell you no when you try to move it. If your intention is not to have sex before marriage, good luck with that. Ah, it's okay. We can be at each other's apartment at three o'clock in the morning. It's okay, the power went out, we had to light some candles. Why didn't want it to be scared, so I turned on some music. So what? It's Barry Manilow. It's what was in the CD player. It's amazing how a moment we laugh at like that turns into a moment we regret for the rest of our lives. I read a statistic a while back. It's been a while, so don't quote me on this. But somewhere around 80% of relationships who experience premarital sex do not end up in marriage. So if you're convincing yourself that the fastest way to get to the promised land is to give yourself to a man God has not handed you at the altar, that's alive the devil. You're settling and you don't have to. Trust me, you have the rest of your life to have sex. God will give you an anointing to do it. Bless God. But it's a lot harder to find that anointing when you settle over and over and over again. The best foreplay is waiting. Oh, let me say this. This is just kind of an example. If you grow up around alcohol and someone in your family is involved in an accident where they've been drinking. And as a child, you determine in your heart never to drink and drive. There are two ways to make sure that never happens. If your intention is to never drink and drive, here's what will happen. You'll be okay drinking up to a certain point. Well, as long as I'm not drunk, what I meant was I didn't want to be drunk and drive. But if you refuse to drink and drive, here's the decision you have to make. Either you're not going to drive or you're not going to drink. That's the easiest way to make sure it never happens. Never drive or never drink. Now I'm not trying to be all religious, I'm just trying to use this as an example. Some of you need to decide. I'm never doing that again. Because if I do that, it leads to this and if it leads to this, then I will settle in Iran for the rest of my life. In Iran, as far as I'm concerned, is the El Paso of God's kingdom. Otherwise known as the armpit of the world. Sorry if you grew up there, but you know I'm telling the truth. Here's the third thing. Settlers look for what makes sense to them. Pioneers look for what he shows them. Settlers look for what makes sense. Heron made sense to Tara. Because he lived there before. Listen, anything you don't leave will always make sense to go back to. On your worst day, in your weakest moment, if you didn't leave what God told you to leave and you just moved away from it, on your worst day the enemy will try and grab you by the hand and take you back. Because he'll convince you that the misery you're feeling today would not be nearly as bad if you just go back. It's a lie. The enemy knows if he can get you back to harem. He can keep you out of pain. Settlers are just trying to make sense of it. Well you know what? Have you ever had a friend who was just always making excuses? You know they're in a bad relationship? And you know somebody's in a bad relationship when you don't even say anything about the person they're in the relationship with, but they're constantly trying to make them look good, make excuses for them. It's a movie night, the girls are going out. One of the girls is feeling really guilty about the relationship she's in. Here's how to spot her, ladies. You walk up to the movies and you say, "Hey, have you already bought the tickets?" and she says, "He didn't really mean what he said." What? Huh? Oh no, I'm sorry. He doesn't usually talk like that. Who doesn't talk like that? My boyfriend. They're just constantly spitting out stuff. Why? Well, I know he acts that way or I know he doesn't spend his money well, but you know what? God's gracious. He's a good God. He extends grace. You're right, and his grace is to protect you from that man. If you, anything you feel you have to excuse, you are trying to cover up and call Canaan. When you know deep down it's Heron. The more excuses you use, the more you know it's Heron. Settlers just look for what makes sense. Pioneers only look for what he shows them. Look back in chapter 12 verse 1. Look what God says to Abram because he didn't say this to Tara. He says it to Abram. The Lord said to Abram, "Leave your native country, your relatives, and your father's family, and go to the land that I will show you." In other words, just start walking, and when you get there, I'll tell you. Some of you are in that spot right now. You are walking, and you feel like the veggie tale song, "Keep Walking." But you won't knock down our wall, "Keep Walking." Because it's really kind of tall. It's plain to see. Your brains are very small to think. Walking will be knocking down our wall. It's plain to see. You don't even know what I'm talking about. Some of you are in that spot right now, and you are so frustrated. But can I tell you what the alternative is? God doesn't tell you to do anything. Why are you grabbing about the fact that God told you to get up and walk? He told you to walk towards Canaan. Is that so bad? Well, Preston, I want to be in Canaan now, and so do I. But I don't want to get there till it's time, because if I get there too soon, whatever is there will be bigger than me and will kill me. But if I get there on the day I'm supposed to arrive, I will be bigger than that foe. I'll kill him on day one. Because I do yoga. [laughter] Can I just say to those of you who are walking right now, it's okay to walk. But Preston, I want someone's hand to hold as I walk. You already are. Do you honestly think he would tell you to walk and not tell you where you're going and make you walk by yourself? He said to you, "Get up and walk, and I'll tell you when you get there." In other words, I'll tell you when we get there. Because if I don't go with you, I won't know when you get there. So I'll tell you when we get there. I would rather walk for the rest of my life and get there on the last day of my life than live in Iran for the rest of my days. Pioneers wake up every morning and they are not content with what is acceptable to God. Pioneers are looking for what is pleasing to God. There are far too many people who are content to find what is acceptable to God. What he's okay with. I don't want to know what's acceptable to God. I want to know what pleases my God. Because the fastest way to get to Canaan is not to be acceptable. It's to be pleasing. So here's my question to you. If you're in here and right now. When will you leave? Not when will you move, when will you leave? This isn't Isaac versus Ishmael kind of thing. Where you can send Ishmael off on his way. This is a Canaan and Heron kind of thing where you have to leave Heron to get to Canaan. You can't hold Heron's hand until you meet Canaan. You have to let go and leave now. The sooner you show that you trust God, when it comes to Canaan, the sooner God holds you by the hand and walks you right into it. God never created you to stop along the way in Heron and to settle there and die. For the beginning of time, God created your Canaan before He created you. And He spent centuries, centuries, waiting for you to be born so He could watch you walk all the way in the Canaan and live there for the rest of your life. Don't you dare settle in a hand, show your children what it looks like to be conquerors and walk your way right in to your Canaan. My prayer for you is that God would never, ever, ever let you settle. Because when you're tempted to, if He'll refuse to allow you to, that life you're dreaming about, you will at some point call your reality. Thanks for listening to this week's message. If you have questions about seven or Gateway Church, please visit us at GatewayPeople.com. (gentle music)