Gateway Church's Podcast
Role Play
A couple of years ago, I got a strange phone call and this guy introduced himself to me and said, "Mr. Lovelace, we're about to take about 12, 13 business and entertainment moguls from throughout the country and we're going to flime out in the middle of Pacific, stick them on aircraft carrier for a couple of days." And we heard that you're decent at facilitating conversations with guys like this and so, is there any way that I could talk to you into doing this deal? And so a couple of weeks later, I found myself there on Coronado Island, which I'm sure many of you have been to in San Diego, and they flew me into the Vice Admiral of the whole Pacific Fleet into his house there, overlooks the ocean, and that afternoon they assembled all these entertainment and business guys there, and most of them really didn't know each other, hadn't met each other before. And so we're sitting out on the terrace and all the Navy stewards are serving us and the whole objective was next couple of hours for us to get acquainted and then they're going to give us an orientation and they were going to bus us about five minutes away, stick us on a jet and fly us out in the middle of Pacific, we're going to land on aircraft carrier and USS Cole Vincent and spend a couple of days there. So Vice Admiral McCabe stands up and says, "I'm honored to have all you guys here in my home today. I'd like for each one of you to stand and introduce yourself." And we are, you know, each one of you guys have accomplished some pretty significant astounding things and so why don't you stand up and make yourself known. So the first guy stands up, says, "My name's Zonzo and I started a small little operation a few years ago called AutoZone and you know, Auto Parts Store and we did quite well and cashed out. Here's how much money I made." So I thought pretty impressive. And he said, "Since then, I've taken a part of that capital and I've purchased some of the largest shoe manufacturing companies and we now sell two out of every five pairs of dress shoes here in the United States." So clearly that's impressive. So he sits down. Next guy stands up. He says, "My name's Zonzo, I'm the second largest burger king owner in North America." And I thought, "Well, I like a good whopper about seven days a week so it's good." So he sits down. Next guy stands up. He says, "My name's Zonzo, I'm a Hollywood producer. I've been nominated for ten Emmys and I've won five of them." And I thought, "What a loser. Only won five out of ten. I mean, what kind of company am I keeping here?" Now, it wasn't until about that moment that I started doing the math on what was about that. Everyone was circling, everyone was standing up and talking about what a big deal they were and who they were and what they ran. And I realized I was going to be the last person to introduce himself. You know what I mean? Watch us. Hey, my name is David. I passed our church in Orlando. I mean, what are you supposed to do? So next guy stands up and says, "I'm Zonzo and I've started a number of bands that you've probably heard of, Backstreet Boys in Sync." I recently wrote a book called Boys, Bands and Billions and I thought, "I read that book last year." And so it snakes all the way around the guy next to me, just next to the last guy. He stands up and introduces himself and says, "I'm the largest, blankety, blank, blank, private timeshare developer in the world. And here's how much money I'm worth. Here's the jet that I fly." And so I sat down. It's my turn. So I stood up and I said, "I'm really honored to be with all of you, gentlemen, clearly what you have done, who you are, is very impressive." I said, "For myself, I was going to Jesus help me, help me, help me, help me." I said, "I worked for a company," I guess you could say, "we've been around for about 2,000 years and we have offices in just about every town and city in the world and our stock price has been pretty much up in the right over there. We've had a few ups and downs over the years, but otherwise we've been on an amazing run." And I happened to head up just one of the field offices in Orlando, Florida. And then I just sat down. You know, afterwards, someone came up, "What's the stock ticker symbol on that company? Maybe I need to have a piece of that action." Now, what was going on there? What was everyone trying to do? Yeah, everyone was trying to oppress each other. Everyone was trying to say, "Here's what a big deal I am." Everyone was trying to say, "Here's how I am Superman. Here's how I'm a world conqueror." Now, see, it'd be so easy for me to try to call out every one of those guys and go, "Can you believe they'd act like that?" But the facts are, I've done that countless numbers of times in my life. I've lost count of the times where I've been in various settings and I've tried to impress people, or I've tried to make myself into this overblown figure that is capable of leaping tall buildings in a single bound. And in fact, I privately know better. Number years ago, I was sitting in an office and there were just two of us. There was the counselor and there was the counselor. Except this particular day, I was not the counselor. The next day, I want to read to you an excerpt out of my journal from a part of what happened that day. I wrote down, "Yesterday, I went to see Jean, my head checker." That's why I called her. I went to see Jean, my head checker, for the second time, "Boy, am I really messed up." I've always felt like I'm responsible for the care and the accomplishment of other people. We're in the world of this illusion come from, that I can be responsible for everyone and everything around me. The burnout I'm going through right now comes, I believe, from living this illusion. And I've got to come to the conclusion that I am really not the answer for anyone. I cannot play the role of Superman any longer and I thought I could. I realize that I have a few things to offer that are pretty good and what I need to do is just to show up. I really can't make that much of a difference. In fact, neither can anyone else. Only God can make a huge difference and create increase in people's lives. I can't change all the issues with the people I live with or the people that I work with. I should just do my part, but the actual change is between them and God. See, so often in my life, I've tried to play a role that God never designed me to play. Have you ever done that? I've tried to slip into some shoes that are far too large for my feet and they don't fit. See we've been brought up in a culture and all of us have been brought up in a way where we're constantly looking for a savior and at the same time, we're constantly trying to be a savior to someone else. We pull out your notes, you can just write as a sidebar, just the word savior, just write the word savior somewhere in your note sheet, put an equal sign next to it, and then just write out a couple of descriptive words. What is a savior? Savior's someone that fixes, a savior's someone that delivers, a savior's someone that rescues, a savior's someone that changes things and changes people. We're all looking for a savior and we're all wanting to be a savior. For example, this happens all the time in the political realm, doesn't it? I mean, what do we just come through this last year? Back in '08, we had a number of men and one woman traipsing throughout the whole country trying to convince us that they could be our savior, they could deliver, they could rescue, they could change things. By the way, how's that going? By the way, I pray for President Obama every single week, but it didn't matter who we were going to elect. There was going to be no one that could save, rescue, deliver, and change in the way that we all need. Wouldn't you concur with that? But we tend to look for that and we allow other people to suck us into that dark vortex as if they could become our savior. We do that in the sports world. By the way, you need to know something very important about me. I was born, bred, and raised in the right way by my parents. I'm a bona fide Dallas Cowboy fan, okay? So my wife who's here with me, all of our three sons that are grown, they have their own kids, everyone is indoctrinated, okay? And in fact, the other day we had to drive by the new stadium and we asked God's anointing to fall on that thing, okay? So we're all in agreement over that, aren't we? But what do we do? We've been looking for a new savior. Tony, come on now. Bring it, Jason. Teal someone, you know? Because we want to be able to have the Super Bowl in our new digs right down the street here in Arlington, but we want to be actually playing in that game, don't we? We need a savior. We look for a savior at home. We keep looking for a spouse that can fix and change and deliver and rescue. We keep looking for a parent that could do that. We keep looking for that in the business room, we keep looking for a church that can do that. We keep looking for a pastor that can do that. And you want to end up happening? We all end up being exhausted and resentful. I resent you because you make these promises as if you can actually fix, rescue, and deliver me and then you become resentful toward me that I actually expected that out of you and you couldn't deliver. And everyone goes home, stressed out, exhausted, and disillusioned by the whole experience. Let me tell you someone that's been mentoring me in this. And I can't even believe that he's allowed me to spend the time with him that he has. He has mentored and coached me in this regard and because there's so much work that needs to be done in me, he's still working with me. His name is J.B. And we find J.B. story over in the Gospel of John, chapter 1. If you have your Bibles, why don't you turn with me there? John the Baptist seemed to know the real role that God had designed him for. And he seemed to play well in that role instead of acting in another role. In fact, will you just write this down? You know, I will find my greatest fulfillment in life when I seek to live in the role of being a servant instead of a Savior. You will find your greatest joy, your greatest effectiveness, your greatest fulfillment in life when you're trying to live in the role that God designed for you to live in. That of being a servant instead of being a Savior. John has helped me enormously when it comes to this. We find his story here in John, chapter 1. A lot of you know that John the Baptist was, he entered his public ministry around the age of 30. He was a prophet trying to prepare the way of the Lord for the Messiah, trying to greeze the wheels, make things ready. The funky, unique thing about him was he also happened to be the cousin of Jesus, the actual physical cousin of Jesus. Let's pick it up, John, chapter 1, starting in verse 19. Now, this was John's testimony when the Jews of Jerusalem sent priests and Levites to ask him who he was. He did not fail to confess, but confess freely. I am not the what? I am not the Christ. Did you realize the implications that people were coming up to him and saying, "Excuse me, aren't you, aren't you him and John with me?" No, I'm not the Christ. Now, I don't know about you. I haven't had anyone recently come up to me and go, "You know who you remind me of? You remind me of Jesus. No one has done that to me recently. Actually, no one's ever done that to me." These guys were walking up to John because of how he came across and went, "Are you him? Are you him?" He said, "No. I'm not the Christ." They asked him, "Then who are you? Are you Elijah?" Well, that's not bad company. One of the greatest prophets in all of history, you see, the book of Malachi had prophesied that Elijah was going to return to help establish and set up the kingdom for the Messiah. He was going to be a part of it. So they said, "Are you Elijah?" He went, "No, I'm not. Are you the prophet?" He's referring to Moses. They went, "No. I'm not him." Finally, they said, "Who are you?" Like, when people ask you who you are, how do you tend to respond? How do you tend to prop yourself up? How do you tend to portray yourself? They asked John, "So then, who are you? Give us an answer. Take back those who sent us. What do you say about yourself?" And John replied in the words of Isaiah the prophet, "I am the voice." Will you just circle that phrase? He said, "I am the voice. I'm just a voice." Now, listen, if I had been John and they would have come up and said, "Are you him? Are you the Christ?" I would have gone, "No, I'm not." However, I am his cousin. I'm his cousin. I mean, he and I, we spent everything's giving together. I was actually there the afternoon of the first Christmas. I'll let somebody think about that later on. I mean, I would have said, "At least, listen, we hang out together. We've played together growing up." But John doesn't have anything to do with that foolishness. He just says, "I'll tell you, I'm just a voice. I'm just the pizza delivery guy for the kingdom of God." Here's what my role is. It's supposed to be a voice. I'm supposed to be the voice of one saying, "Make straight the way for the Lord." He said, "I baptize with water, but among you stands one. You do not know. He is the one who comes after me, the thongs of whose sandals I'm not worthy to untie." In the first century, clearly people didn't have paved roads like we do. And so when a master would come in at the end of the day wearing his Birkenstocks as sandals, a slave, a servant would reach down, would untie the servant's sandals, would remove them from his feet and would wash his feet, smelling, all sticky and messing, all that stuff. So John says, "Listen, Jesus is so other than who I am. There is such a gap between who He is and what He's able to do versus who I am and what I'm capable to do. I'm not even worthy to untie his sandals." That's the word picture that he's portraying right there. I just don't even deserve to be in that particular company. John kept having so many opportunities, so many opportunities to play the role of a Savior and he kept turning every single one of them down. He kept going, "Listen, all I am is I'm just a servant. I'm just a voice in this whole deal." The next day John saw Jesus coming toward him and said, "Look, the Lamb of God who takes away the sin of the world. This is the one I meant when I said, 'A man who comes after me has surpassed me because he was before me.'" Do you have an easy time saying about other people they've surpassed you or they're going to surpass you or they have surpassed you? Because you clearly understand what your role is and you're secure in who you are. He says, "He has surpassed me because he was before me." The next day John was there with two of his disciples. When he saw Jesus passing by, he said again, "Look, the Lamb of God." When the two disciples, his disciples, John's disciples heard him say this, "Who did they follow?" They followed Jesus. They left him. How would you feel about that? Where are you going? Where are you going? I still got something to offer you here. No, you pointed us toward him, so we're going to go and we're going to follow him. This is tough. This is really tough. This is a challenge. This is a major league challenge because again, everything in our culture screams that you and I should act just the opposite of this. Last year during the middle of the presidential race, I received another bizarre call. Guy introduces himself for the phone and says, "I'm one of the people that's working with so-and-so, his presidential campaign. He's going to be in Orlando two weeks from now and he would like to speak at Discovery Church in one of your weekend services. Would that be okay?" I went, "Really?" No. Why would he want to do that? He said, "Because you pastor one of the largest, most influential churches in central Florida." I went, "Really?" Large. Influential. Yeah. What was that trying to play to? I went, "How do you understand again?" Well, why would he want to do this? He said, "Well, because such and such church across town, large, influential church, they've already agreed he's going to come and speak one of their services. We thought that you would want him to come and say, "I'm going, really, again, help me understand. Why would he want to do this?" He said, "Well, pastor loves you, know that Florida is a swing state and you, you pastor love us, could make a big difference in this election. Really? Me? I could change our country? Me? I could be a savior again. Oh, wonderful. That would really mess me up." So we chatted a few more moments and I ended up saying, "You know what? I'm honored. Thanks a lot, but I'm going to have to take a pass on this." He went, "Why would you? Why would you do that?" I went, "I've got a lot of goofy reasons. I just don't think it's the right thing and the best thing for us, but I wish you guys well in your campaign and the guy had just been on the cover of Time Magazine two weeks earlier. He was the most talked about candidate in that moment and I hung up the phone." Now I'd like to tell you that I hung up the phone and I just immediately started singing a piece like a river, but I didn't. I still had to struggle. I thought, "David, I think you just really, really screwed up here. I think you really messed up. I mean, when you do things like this, this is how you get invited to the White House." And that ain't going to happen now. And then I started thinking about the other church across town, "Gosh, everyone's going to think they are the big dogs in town and we're the little dog. It could have been a big dog. Dang it. They're going to be the big dog." I'm just telling you, I had to wrestle with that. But I had to take out a knife and I had to knife it and I had to shoot it and this stuff that keeps trying to rear its head on the ... Did you ever experience anything like this or I'm the only member of this particular club? Yeah. By the way, that person didn't end up being elected and I didn't even get invited to his defeat party. But anyway, that's the way things go in life. So where is it and who is it with that you try to be a savior? Where you try to fix, deliver, rescue and change? Or who is it that you're expecting that from for you? I mean, this is what creates massive chaos in marriages is when we place these kinds of expectations on one another and we tend to over promise this happens in the business arena all the time because we believe that's the only way to succeed. Later on over in John chapter 3, it says, "In fact, let's skip on down to verse 26." And they came to John and they said to him, "Rabbi, that man who was with you on the other side of Jordan, the one you testified about, well, he's baptizing and everyone is going to him. Everyone's leaving you and going to his church, not across town but across the river." And here's John's response to this, not a sense of loss at all. It's like he was clearly clued into what his role was. John replied, "A man can only receive what's been given him from heaven. You yourselves can testify. You know I've said this over and over and over again. I am not the Christ, but I'm just a sint ahead of him. The bride belongs to the bridegroom, the friend who attends the bridegroom waits and listens for him and is full of joy when he hears the bridegroom's voice. That joy is mine and it's now complete. He must become what? He must become greater and I must become what? I must become less. He must become greater and I must become less. The reason I came baptizing with water was so that he might be revealed. He gives this powerful metaphor like a wedding and there are a lot of similarities between the way they did weddings back in the first century, the way we do them now in the 21st, and then there were a few differences. But back in the first century in a typical Jewish wedding, you would have a friend assigned to the bride and a friend assigned to the bridegroom. They would take care of all the details of all the things that need to be done. And then the day of the wedding, the groomsman that was assigned to the bride would hear the voice of the bridegroom walking into the ceremony. And it was his joy to take the bride, not the father, to take the bride and to walk her over and to join her with the bridegroom. Now, John says, "This is the role that I have. I just simply have a role. It's a support role. It's to help bring the bride over to the bridegroom." It's kind of like what the role was of Moses over in the Old Testament. Moses was a friend of the bridegroom. Moses brought the bride Israel to God at Mount Sinai. J.B. was saying, "Listen, this is my role in life. Whether it's in business or in my family or in my church, in every relationship and every endeavor, I just have this role to help bring the bride to the bridegroom based upon my gifting, my temperament, the opportunities that I have. And then I'm supposed to step out of the way." What would you think if you went to a wedding later on this next weekend and right in the middle of the ceremony, the best man in the, what's she called, the best woman? Made of honor. There you go. What would you think if the best man or the made of honor, right in the middle of the ceremony, started turning around to rest of the audience and jumping up and down and going, "Hey, what about me? What about me? Hey, everyone, listen, I have some things to say. And how about my gifts? Where are my gifts?" You'd be going, "Someone, shoot that person, take them out." Right? I mean, you'd be going, "This isn't your wedding ceremony. This isn't about you." John was saying, "That is the way I understand my role in life. I'm just a friend of the bridegroom and the bride. I'm supposed to help in the details and then I'm supposed to step out of the way and get out of the way." Every single one of us, we have a need to be valued, to be known, to be loved. We all have a need to matter in life and every one of those are God-given needs. But if we aren't careful, we can allow the enemy to pervert those God-given needs and drives on the inside of us. Does that make sense? God has designed me and has designed you to play a supporting role, not the starring role. And we all keep trying to edge ourselves up so we can be the star of the movie, the star of the story, because after all, who gets the most attention at the Academy Awards? Is it the best supporting actor or the best actor, the best supporting actors or the best actors? We know the answer to that. The more I keep trying to anchor myself around the fact that mine is to be a support role, mine is not to be the starring role. The greater the joy and the effectiveness of my life has been and I suspect will be true of you. But I know there's something inside that goes, "I want to be the star. I want to be up there." Listen, the fact that you and I get to play a support role is the big deal, because this is not my story. This is not your story. It's about his story and the fact that I get to play a supporting role in the greatest story ever told and ever written. Now that is the big deal, wouldn't you concur with that? And so for each day of my life to go, "Lord, just help me understand what my role, am I to be a voice. Am I to be an erring guy for you today? Am I to have a word for someone, an encouragement for someone, to help someone strategically in this business deal, but then turn the attention back to you? I mean, how does that work? Well, I think the Bible bears out the fact that all of us are supposed to be responsible for the roles that we have. I mean, as I'm a father, I'm a husband, I'm a friend, I'm a pastor, I'm a leader to some other people, and but here's the deal. I'm responsible to those people, but I'm not responsible for those people. That means I'm responsible in the roles that I have to show up and to be responsible and to do my very best based upon how God has wired me, but then I don't end up carrying the burden for the outcome. See, that's the difference between being responsible to someone versus being responsible for someone. Like for so many years as a leader, I have tried to carry the burden of the outcome, and then I woke up and realized that that was never my burden to carry. I'm just supposed to show up, do my best, be very responsible. You go, but what if someone gets disappointed, and they say to you, like in a relationship, other endeavors, you disappointed me. You could go, well, clearly you needed a savior, and I ain't him. I mean, that I want to bring my very best of who God made me to be. I want to be responsible in that, but then I got to step out. A couple of questions as we wrap this up today. Here's the first one. Where is it that you are needing a savior? What needs to be fixed, rescued, delivered, changed in you or around you? And how do you need to call out to him in perhaps some fresh ways today just around that whole paradigm? Another question. Right now, who are you trying to be and act like a savior for? Is it at work? Is it in a marriage? Is it in a ministry context? Where have you been portraying yourself as the answer man, as the answer woman? Where do you need to resign from being a savior and then slip into the role of being a servant? And the final question is this, who do you need to release? That you've been expecting them to be your savior? Maybe it's a parent. Maybe it's a step-parent from a long time ago. And to this day you've gone, why didn't you give me everything I needed? Maybe you need to release them from that. Or maybe there's a current relationship where it's so easy for you to quickly get in touch with the fact it's like you've got your hands around someone's neck or shoulders and shaking them and going, "Come on now. I need you to do more for me. I need you to fix the situation. This bind we're in. This mess we're in." Even to release your government from that role. I want us to stand together. I want you to take a moment and bow your head or cock your head back just wherever you can focus intentionally on the Lord and have your own private conversation with Him for a moment. I mean, He brought you here because He had something to say to you either during the worship time or through the teaching of His Word. How do you need to respond to Him? Take just a moment. Say, "Lord, this is what this has made me think. This is what this has made me feel. Can you just give voice to that for just a moment to Him?" Can you just affirm in your heart, "Lord, here's what I think you're saying." And I just want to agree. I want to bring myself an alignment with your Word and with your nature, with your calling for my life. Now, if this resonates with you, could you just lift your hands up to the Lord like forming a satellite dish where you're wanting to send some signals and you want to receive a download yourself? And if these words resonate with you, can we just pray them together out loud just to phrase at a time? Lord Jesus Christ, I acknowledge you again as my Savior, as the Savior, as the only Savior. Lord, I repent of the multiple times where I've tried to act like a Savior, where I've portrayed myself as a Savior. Lord, I receive your forgiveness. And Lord, I release the other people where I've been expecting them to be my Savior. Lord, I move my attention back toward you. I place my expectation back on you. And I'm grateful that you are going to be able to deliver. You are going to be able to fix. You're going to be able to rescue. And you are going to be able to change. Now Lord, it is my greatest privilege just to be a part to play a supporting role in your story, the story this world needs to hear, the story this world needs to read. I don't care what my part is. I just want to have a part. In Jesus' name we agree. Amen.