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(upbeat music) (indistinct chattering) - Well, hello and welcome to What's What Crapins. This is part two of a two-part recap. If you're like, "Hey, wait a minute, I didn't hear part one." Guys, it's because we put out a lot of recaps. Go back and listen to part one, okay? It's before this one. - So they're doing husbands practicing some shots and mass and ass bread, how he's feeling. And he's like doing okay. It's just like he has to be like, he has to think about his swallowing and needs some medication and adjustments. And now there's a spot on his kidney and he needs a biopsy and it's rough. I feel really bad for Madison 'cause that was really tough to hear. But also because she's also shocked because this is the first time hearing it. So she's like, "Well, why didn't you tell me?" He's like, "Well, I didn't wanna wear you "and also you're really scary. "I don't wanna say anything." And he's saying, "You know, but that's how I am. "I don't talk about things." And she's like, "Well, you got to with me." And he's like, "No." She's like, "Yeah, but you don't tell me next time, right? "I mean, next time if you get a cancer spot somewhere, "will you tell me?" He's like, "Uh." - Yes, I guess. - Okay. Well, great communication over there, guys. - I love that. - That's worrisome. - I love that you want. I mean, I get his not wanting to worry somebody until he knows, but yeah, you got to tell your wife. - Yeah, you got her. It's really scary. Although it's kind of funny how he's like, "You know me, I just don't talk about it. "You know how I don't talk about things." It's like, you know-- - That's just a thing. They don't communicate. He's gone half the time. And then he gets really jealous, assuming that she's hooking up with Austin on trips. There's some worrisome stuff here. - Yeah. - There's some red flags here. - So then we go back to-- - It's just that this red flag is really hot and has a great job. So nobody really wants to point it out, but there's some red flags. - It's a little bit. - It's not good, yeah. - So now we're over at Patricia's house and Patricia's like, "Is Ranvee downstairs?" - Yes, yes mother, Ranvee's here. - Okay, great. - Keep-- - There's some Ranvees that sound like a sortin', I'm sorry, Ben. What were you saying? - I just said, "Keep Ranvee away from her. "Last time Ranvee got too close, "start humping her leg." Do we have the shot collar? - Oh, it doesn't Ranvee sound like a sortin', like prescription drug name. - Yes. - If you tell me-- - I'm not letting-- - Be Ranvee. - I'm not letting plaques rise to stop me one more day. - Ranvee may also cause a rash, which is sort of funny considering it's perplexed rises, but you know, at least it's not plaques rise, you know what I'm saying? Ranvee. - When are you? - Yes, mother. - So Ranvee brings in, Ranvee comes in, and she's a new lady. - It's Ranvee. - Hi, Ranvee, how come everybody? - Here she is. - It's Ranvee. - She has, she's wearing this pink, this hot pink thing. She looks great. She's got Joan Rivers hair, she sort of has Cheryl Hines face, and we've never seen her before, but she has obviously made it to the top of the pecking order because she gets to be a the lady who comes to Patricia's birthday party. So great job Ranvee. - And I like this friendship because she just comes in and Patricia says, "Well, hello, sweetie." And she goes, "Oh, hello." And then they don't kiss her hug or anything. And I was like, "Oh, yes, I love this icy, this icy friend of me shit." - Well, it's hard for me to gush about my birthday because birthday seems so silly for adults. Birthdays are for children, but it's an excuse to get together with friends and go to a good restaurant and talk about how sad Ranvee's life is and have fun, things like that. - You know, one of the things we always like to say is nobody envy Ranvee. (laughing) Poor Ranvee's just like, "This is gonna be fun. It's gonna be great." - So then they go to a restaurant. It's called Lowland, just ironic. We just bring Ranvee here to remind her where she's from. (laughing) - You know, that's sometimes we say Ranvee, you need to go to a man lowland and maybe one day you'll be flooded with all sorts of romantic prospects, but unfortunately I hasn't happened yet for her. Less or hard. Hey, do you have a sister restaurant called Lowerland that we can get envy some ass at? Getting desperate over here. More like Slowland. Poor Ranvee. - So Austin comes and Eddie and Ryan, the new gay is who still are not justifying that spot that Ryan is getting in the opening credits and poster. Why is he on the poster? He has had two lines in this whole episode. I need more from you gay, all right? - Yeah, even Eddie had more lines than Ryan did than Eddie's not even on the poster. - Yeah. - So they show up. Madison comes in wearing some kind of funky outfit and she goes, ♪ Hello, I'm the boy, look at her ♪ ♪ Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey ♪ ♪ I end up still looking like the slurry one, baby ♪ - And so I get emotional just thinking about the impact Patriches had on me. I mean, she's like a second lover to me. - Second lover. Is that what I said? - She's like a second mother to me. - Sure, man. - I said that, what the hell is wrong with you, Rondle? - It's two more than Rondle's had, so then-- (laughing) Do you remember Rondle? No, neither does anybody else. She's actually a regular here. The waiter just came and poured a cup of water into her. I said, that's not a water glass. - Now, before we get started, I invite everyone to balance a part of playing Rondle's head 'cause she's basically a table at this point. (laughing) Sorry, Rondle, it's not your shape. It's your personality. - Now listen, Rondle, if you want to dress like a slut, look at Madison, but I guess it still wouldn't work for you no matter how do you skimp you to wear dresser clothes. I'm drunk, by the way. Had a lot of our genies back at the house. (laughing) Everyone just goes slap Rondle. - So Madison's like-- - Patriches has made me, she has tried to bring me into the most lately like woman I could ever dream of being and she makes it feel like it's possible. It hasn't happened, but it could. It could. - Well, I think the Dermot, oh, here's a, I have to make a confession, ding, ding, ding. I've been lying this whole time about my age. I'm really a hundred and eight. Hold on, hold for laughter. (laughing) All right. - Renville, I didn't hear you laughing much, but then again, I guess no one really hears Renville when she talks. Renville speak up. She's like, okay, Renville, nevermind. - That laughter wasn't loud enough. Renville, walk around in your underwear. (laughing) - Okay, everyone. Renville has requested that she gets to sing a verse from my favorite things. Go ahead, Renville. - He ain't trapped son. Okay, that's enough. (laughing) - Hey, one of nobody's favorite things, Renville. Am I right? - That's why she sings that she hopes she winds up on someone's lip. But guess what? You're still not as attractive as something wrapped in brown paper bag, apparently. Tied up. - Well, I think a dermatologist is your best friend and also the dentist. I go every three months. If you don't take care of your teeth, that makes you look old. - Anyway, Renville hasn't been to the dentist in about 13 years, so, point taken. Anyway, that's the news. - I told, I took Renville to the dentist one time for a checkup with my doctor and he said, "We don't put teeth into tree stumps." - I said, "The upside is people might think you're wise." So Shep is like, "Oh, well, whatever you're doing, "keep doing that, martinis. "Martinis are the key." (laughing) - As I throw them at Renville, it keeps you young. (laughing) - Guys, think, think, think. Just wanted to say, mom, thanks for being rich. - Hilarious. - Thanks, honey. So, he tells, I'd like to tell a story about mother. One time, she sent me to a progressive high school in Washington, D.C. And me and my friends, we were the Holy Ones of the school and they called their parents one time, you know, probably for doing something awful to a woman. Let's face it, we'll look at my track record. And my mom showed up an hour late. She listened for about five minutes and then she stood up and said, "Well, boys, we'll be boys." See you later. I was like, "Wow, she has not changed one fucking bit." That's literally still her role on this show. (laughing) Did like one lady's dinner in like 2020 or like, not even 2019 after like me too. And she's like, "All right, back to the boys. "Boys will be boys. "They'll break your chairs, but that's what they do." You know what I have a new movement, it's called Me Neither. (laughing) Poor Ranby's movement is not her, so sad. So, what needs like, "Honey, how could you not love her?" She's very ostentatious. She's glamorous. Doesn't suffer fully slightly. (gasping) Somehow, it's all over, it's Ranby. (gasping) She's the best. I love her. (gasping) So now the food comes out and the lady's like, "This is delicious. "This is some chicken with some, "what'd she say, some salsa verde." Y'all enjoy that. She's like, "Oh, this is a real thing. "Wow, gosh, can I have some garshi verde? "This is nuts." I dealt with protests too much for this salsa verde. (laughing) They looked, but-- But when you were saying before how the guys, the only reason the guys have manners is because Patricia's here and God, Patricia shows up and they show all these manners, well, this scene proves that theory wrong. Not a one of these guys closes their mouth. I mean, the gays do. (laughing) This, but I have to say this, next time I go to Charleston, I am going to lowlands 'cause this food looked amazing. That chicken with a salsa verde looked amazing and then they served Cheryl Day biscuits. Cheryl Day, she's like, all her food is just made with like 10, six of butter and it's all amazing. I am like salivating just thinking about this. This is a little-- - Yeah, it looked like some damn good food. That's for sure. - So then Renvy, did you catch this when Renvy was like, "Well, Austin, do you look quite sharp, "but of course you're good looking, "so of course you look sharp." - Whoa, whoa, keep it in your pants, Renvy. (laughing) Or as I like to call it, the dusty cavern that is your pants. (laughing) The second you up and up that cave, that's gonna stop flying out for a week, Renvy. Just keep it closed. - I mean, I'm surprised Jack Nicholson isn't there, busting through walls, saying, "Here's Johnny." I mean, no one's in there. - It's interesting, you know, the last time we were here, there was you and what was that child you were dating again, Austin? And he's like, "Audrey." - Yeah, because we had so much fun. I went home wearing half your chicken dish on my face, but it wasn't the worst night ever. - Yeah, I think that she's charming and attractive and quite frankly, I think you need someone who's not a drama queen, who shows up looking like a slut at someone's birthday party, which is for children, by the way. - And Madison just tilts her head like, "Is this bitch really just talking about me?" And then she's just like, "Well, okay, that's true, yeah, it's true." - And Austin's like, "Well, you know what? "I used to think I needed someone "who would like hold my feet to the fire, "but I think it's actually quite the opposite. "I need someone who lets me get away "with all the shit in the world, but it's that simple." - Pretty much. I need to be able to do whatever the fuck I want and have someone childish and desperate enough to be on TV that shall let me do it. - Yeah, that's great. This is the path that meant take a lot of growth. But he's like, "Are you insinuating "that Madison's a drama queen?" (laughs) Mother, share that mother. - And Austin. - Well, sorry, go ahead, Ben. - Well, no, I would prefer you to speak, Ms. Pat. - No, he's like, "Well, you know, "she's more of a drama queen than Audrey." And she goes, "Yeah, I guess that's true. "So I guess you just found yourself a brat, huh?" They said, "You know, with that gorgeous face, "gorgeous body, who's not a father to your child "and who wouldn't reach. "But, you know, close." - And he's like, "Yeah, I guess you could say that." So then they ask where this guy is, where Brad is, and she's like, "Well, he's just having so much fun "not being here with all of us, you know? "He's just, oh no, he's having a lot of FOMO, "not being here with us, it's what it is." And she has to like take a moment. She's like, "I'm not gonna bring him around here "because I don't want him to spill "what's going on with his health." And then, you know, these people will make it all about that, basically. - Yeah. So Eddie's like, "Okay, I'll get the ball rolling. "Where's Craig?" And Pat's like, "Well, I thought he was in Sonoma, "which is also what I call Ren's B's love life. "Sonoma, man." But apparently he came back today. (laughing) - And Ryan says, "Kreg is at Kroger." And they all crack up like it was just some diss. So I think Ryan was like, "Kreg's in fucking grocery stores. "What does he care what you losers think about him?" That's how I took it. How'd you take it? - I took it like, no, he's here and he's at Kroger getting buying his groceries for dinner while we're here having this amazing meal. - Oh, oh, oh. Okay, I thought, "Oh, wow, that was nice." Okay, so Austin's like, "Yeah, I talked to Craig." And he was like, "What do you do later?" And I was like, "Oh my God, this is so awkward. "It's so great, it's like nuts right now." But I'm going to dinner and he was like, "Who with who?" And I was like, "Well, a bunch of us." And he was like, "What, where have you been quiet?" And I was like, "Well, it's past birthday." - This is so this cast to just make Craig feel like shit on purpose, just so they could have a storyline of Craig feeling like shit. - Well, all Austin has to say is, all he has to say is, "Oh, I'm going out." "What are you doing later?" "I'm going out to dinner with Patricia." That's all he has to say. But instead, but the moment you say this is so awkward, you're saying that Craig should feel awkward because he's being intentionally excluded, which he is. But still, you're making it worse when you say that. Just say, "Oh yeah, I'm going out to dinner with Patricia." And if Craig is like, "Well, why was I invited?" I'd be like, "I don't take it up with Patricia. "Don't make, you know, just you keep it matter of fact." But yeah, they are basically punishing Craig. - Yeah, I'm just like, "I don't think it's a big deal if the Craig's not here." I mean, of course, if Craig thinks it's a big deal, then maybe he should make more of an effort. - Weren't you the one that you just got dumped by the entire cast last season because you were such an asshole and such a disgusting pig in Vegas for like the tenth time that they couldn't even stand to be around you? What are you talking about? He needs to make more of an effort. Fuck off. And Whitney's just sitting there smiling like, "Yeah, they're dicks." Well, his cuz they're such assholes. - Let's be fair, Craig did break Patricia's chair. So it's just like never again. ♪ It's time for a commercial ♪ ♪ It's time for a crappin' commercial ♪ - When it comes to winter, it's like survival of the fittest out there and I'm willing to do or buy whatever I can to stay cozy. For the ultimate cold weather necessities made from premium materials, you've gotta check out Quince. - With Quince, you can treat yourself to true quality at an affordable price. - Something everyone needs in their closet, Quince's iconic Mongolian cashmere sweaters, which start at $50. - They're super softly sweatpants or a major upgrade to whatever you're lounging in right now. - And their wind resistant responsible down jackets are perfect for keeping warm. - I love my Quince jacket. 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We don't like talk or text. - Yeah, well, how often do you see him lost? And he's like, well, when we podcast, which is basically twice a week and it's turned into business more than a friendship, like it used to be. - Could you imagine, if I said that about you, that's crazy. Oh yeah, I really only talk to him like the eight times a week that we do a show together. I mean, other than that. - It's like my life, it's more than I've ever talked to anybody literally in my life. I can't imagine degrading it to be like, "Oh, we're not even friends, it's just only business." - Yeah. - That's crazy. - Yeah, it's so funny, they're just not, they're not gonna give Craig his moment. But to be fair, Craig is also very much about declaring that he's having his moment right now. So I can also imagine that being really exhausting. - I can, but they just keep shitting on him for things that should be impressed. Like they should be things you should be proud of your friends for it. But Pat's like. - Well, he's trying to be Martha Stewart. - Well, God forbid, you're talking to a table of people who don't do jack shit. Like God forbid, one of them tries to make something of themselves and is actually in a decent relationship for a few years in a row, which neither of these is accomplished either, including your child. And you guys sitting here dissing him, like he's the biggest loser at the table. These other guys are the ones here like fucking getting free dinner off some lady, you know? - Yes. - Their friend's mom still and their fucking forties. Give me a break, man. Shep is like, gosh, this isn't a knock on Craig because it's very smart of Craig, but he is kind of like just a figurehead. It's not like he's at the warehouse with a hard hat on. Jerry does literally everything for him. And we see flashbacks of Jerry doing everything. And shep is like, it's just like Craig show up here. Throw a pillow up in the sky and write a caption. He doesn't even write his own captions. That's because he doesn't, the fact that he can do this and that he doesn't have to do that stuff is even more impressive that the fact that he has someone doing this for him and he gets to just taking all the money? Hello? - CEO is there in a hard hat. I mean, look, it's crazy because I think you're correct that it can get annoying. Craig can't get annoying with his whole like, oh, I think about his business. Like he does have annoying parts, but the fact that they're using all of this stuff that he's accomplished is a bad thing. Like look at Craig, he's just a figurehead selling pillows all the time and making money. - You guys sound so fucking pathetic. What have you ever done that's been successful, Shep? Name it. Name it. - Yeah. I mean, that definitely wasn't relationship. So then Whitney is like, I mean, why do you think he's like trying to insulate himself? Like curate his new image? Is this like better for his business? Literally, yes. Literally selling stuff on the internet and killing it. And you're like, wow, why is he not out there being problematic and being a monster and like lying on time and being the one that no one wants to support? - It's crazy to these guys that anybody would like enter their forties by not being wasted and fucking 20 year olds from bars on King Street that they're using their like de-list celebrity to get. They're like, what? Why isn't he still doing coke and fucking randos every night? What a loser. - Gosh, what's the point of getting success? If you don't enjoy with people you're friends with because the people he's friends with are like big grudging his success and are always trying to tear him down. Have you not seen seasons one through nine of your show? - Yeah, you literally just tore him down all last season for being his friend and then you got so bad in Vegas that he had to put distance between you. Why are you making it sound like it's somebody else's fault? What a loser. And when he's like, I prefer old Craig. He was far more interesting when he was drinking bourbon. Listen, I'm sure you're more interesting when I'm drinking bourbon. But that's not a cool thing to say about somebody else. What can fucking need you? - Mazin's like, I mean, he is improving himself. It's not like he's doing anything bad. Like are you knuck, knuckleheads, it wasn't yourself? - He's like, well, you could improve yourself. Just doesn't mean you have to be boring. - You literally do nothing but shoot scenes with your mother. You fucking weirdo. What have you ever done interesting on this show? Except fuck teenagers that you can later cast for five minutes of fame. You fucking weirdo. - You were boring. You were demoted to a friend of on your own show. So then (laughing) Mazin's like, well, maybe he can be himself or who he is right now, round y'all. He's like, well, what happened to the goofball? Self-deprecating Craig, that guy is gone. When he was the goofball self-deprecating Craig, you guys, chat on him. Do you not remember going to Delaware to his home and making, ridiculing him to his face in front of his family the entire time? - Yeah. - They just want someone that he can punch down on, you know? - Yeah, and so, and by the way, that guy is gone because you were a shitty friendship. He, you didn't leave him. It's not like he just disappeared. He left you because you're a fucking disgusting, assaulting drunk, okay? So steps like, well, you know, the people, just like who's Craig and sewing down south 'cause of his old fallible self. But the current Craig is always hawking product. And it's because, and of course it's the woman's fault because Paige is a street business woman. So she ruined Craig. She brought Craig, she made Craig healthy and happy and successful fucker. - Whatever happened to witch hunts? - Yeah, I know. Yeah, she's a pretty shrewd business woman and they said to themselves, we have to be professionals and do this the right way. Well, God forbid. God forbid you do something professional in the right way. Like why, why is Craig? Shep is literally arguing like, you know what? People wanted to buy pillows 'cause they love Craig's infallible, his old fallible self. Yes, you know, every time Craig would lie and do Adderall and show up, like cracked out on Reunion, I thought I want to buy a pillow from him. No, this is, it's like he's saying this stuff like it's a bad thing. Like it's bad that Craig met someone who has her shit together and he wants to level up his own life so that way he can be a better boyfriend to her. And he's like, oh gosh, God, I think it's, the most important thing is just to be honest and human. And as long as you're those things, your image should take care of itself. I'm like, should we just-- - Is this the least honest and least human fucker? Are you saying this after you've lied for seasons and cheated on everybody you've ever been with consistently lied and then threw cans at a homeless woman and told her I like your hands? Is that best or human nature? You fuck. - I don't think Shep is one to talk about. Image so well, it's not his strong point. - Or honesty or humanity. What the fuck has this person he's been talking about? - So then Austin tries to puff up and he's like, well, I think it's rather interesting. The other people feel this way. I didn't realize, I suppose that his absence has been noosable while there are people. I'm like, okay, relax sir. You can put your ass caught away. - Like you haven't been talking about this nonstop with everybody else on the cast. - So then we go see Molly making her bed. And I think that's all we see of Molly. - That's all we see. - We don't even see her face. We just see her back making her bed. And then we see Vinita making like putting down pillows for Charles, and then she sweeps. And that's it for Vinita. - It's just so weird sometimes. - And then Shep is driving. So he calls up Austin and he's like, gosh, I was just at the gym and Craig walks in and he's all grumpy. And I was like, what are you doing today? I mean, it's like, Austin's coming over and he's gonna tell me all the shit that everybody's been talking about me. So Austin's like, oh God, I'm going to a fucking hornet's nest, it's insane right now. And he's like, don't say anything to him about last night. I mean, listen, we had dinner. I mean, listen, it's got to be Madison that got him agitated, right? And he's like, yeah, certainly not my attention going there today and saying, then he said this and then he said this and then she said this. It's like, my own things I want to say. - What are you so worried about? - Are you gonna go? And we know you were gonna go there to say, he said this and she said this and he said this because that's all you do. The three of you, the biggest gossips on the show are these three guys. Yeah. - So he does, he goes over there and Craig's, you know, doing his guard, which does look amazing. His backyard does look amazing. And Austin comes in, it's kind of awkward. And it's like, basically, I just wanted to come by 'cause it was just fucking awkward without you there last night. (laughing) - Well, it felt weird. Oh God. I wanted to go swimming, but now I'm all wet. It feels weird not being invited. I don't get my feelings hurt too often. I'm like, you literally get your feelings for every episode, but that's fine. Didn't you just say I wasn't invited? Why I wasn't invited, I mean? - Well, the accommodation, the thing you were out of town and also saying that she had talked to Craig much, you know? And then the conversation switched your absence. And he's like, wait, so you talked about my absence at a birthday party I wasn't invited to? That's crazy. Like, if you wanna see me more, you have to invite me to your birthday dinner. So... - Yeah, well, no, your absence when you are in town is what the conversation switched to Craig. He's like, well, this is where I'm at and I'm missing something, I'm in my house. So believe it or not, after that entire scene where I was really very much team Craig over everything that everyone at the table was saying about him, I have to say, in this scene, I start to pivot a little bit. I cannot even believe the words are coming out of my mouth. I'm a little team Austin in this scene 'cause I think ultimately in this scene, Austin is like, and he says it right here, I miss my buddy. I mean, that's where I'm coming to you from. We talk and we do this, but I'm going to lunch and you're just like, not on my call list. I don't think to call you anymore. If I'm going to get a beer, you're not on my phone list because your answer is normally like, oh, I'm gardening or something like that. And Craig is like, well, when was the last time you invited me to lunch? And he's like, well, that's what I'm always saying, Craig, because it's always, he's like, but that's a you thing. I'm not a mind reader. I don't know where, no, this shit was going on. I thought we were good. Why don't we set up a weekly tea time? But look, here's my thing, if somebody, as somebody who started drinking a lot less recently, you know, I still drink, I saw my mom's. I'm not totally sober, but I cleaned up my life a lot in the past year or two. And it's led to weirdness sometimes. Like my friends don't really know how to deal with it. They didn't know at first how to deal with it. They know better now, but at first they didn't know. And I didn't really know either because frankly, if I'm not drinking and getting wasted with everybody, I don't want to go sit at a bar with them all night. And some people you're like, that's all we do. We go sit at a bar all night, we get shit faced, we do drugs, whatever. And if I'm not doing that anymore, then why do I want to be there? You don't want to be around a bunch of, and it was hard to find other things to do, you know, or just be like, now we're just having dinner and not being shit faced. It's seven, is that okay with you, you know? And we had to get to a place where you, as an adult, you just have to do that. I can't be wasted every fucking night. I'm sorry, I can be wasted some nights, but I just can't do it anymore every night. And it's hard to get through that, but like a bunch of 40-year-olds literally sitting around like, you won't get wasted with me, so now we can't hang out and be friends. And now you're not going to be invited anywhere. Grow the fuck up. I mean, you children, that's why everybody around them gets younger and younger as they get older and gross or encrustier, you know? They're just surrounded by all these stupid influencer girls who need, you know, likes. - Well, I agree that like, Craig isn't a much better place. He's cleaned up. What he used to enjoy for fun is no longer the same thing, but I think also Craig can't be mad at the scene. You can't be like, oh, I wasn't invited, but then you can't be, you can't move on and find a new group and then get mad at people that you weren't included in the old thing, you know? It's like you-- - Well, it's a show that you're the three little male leads on and their purpose and Patricia is with Whitney, so she's obviously, they're obviously purposely excluding Craig to be dicks. I mean, this is their show for them to not invite Craig to Patricia's dinner with all the insider cast members there. It is a horrible dickish move. That's not cool. That's like a blatant, we're trying to push you out of this show kind of a move. - Well, it is, but it's also-- - But it's also, but also, you know, I can see that Craig has been, Craig has clearly, like, not make himself not available, probably for good reason, for very good reason, because he's not making himself available and then he's surprised that people are like, well, I guess we're gonna start moving on without Craig 'cause he doesn't wanna hang out. And then so then Craig gets upset and I'm like, you kind of can't have it both ways. And so here comes-- - And it was just with them. - He was with them three days ago. They showed the scene in this episode where he was just at lunch with them, then they showed him just at the gym with them. I mean, he is with them. They're full of shit. - Right, I mean, but I still think that if you have someone coming to you, like, whether it's coming from, I think that if Austin is feeling like he's missing his friend, like, he wants to spend time with his friend and then the friend is like, well, I'm here, you can make plans with me, but then it's like, what, every time I try to make plans with you, you basically are like, no, I don't wanna do that. Or like, as we're, and he starts to say this thing right now, which is that, like, we had a plan to play golf and then the night before you're like, oh no, I'm gonna garden instead. It's like, that's shitty. I'm sorry, I think that Craig has every right to find healthier friends and healthier activities, and Austin and Chef do undermine, but like, Craig just, I just don't, I think Craig is really painting himself here, like, he's really innocent, like, what? But no, Craig contributes to this toxic situation, too, with these friends. - Well, I think if it was, like, from how I'm looking at it, if it was Austin just saying, hey, Craig, here's how I feel about our friendship, that's one thing. But this is about Craig not being invited to Patricia's birthday party, which is a totally different thing. And Austin's making this like, well, you don't come, you don't come golfing with me. It's like, well, why am I being kicked out of this inner circle? Basically, what happened last season is Austin and Craig, we're like, fuck, Chef, he can't treat everybody like this anymore. It's to the point where he's literally assaulting people in public, he's making us all look terrible. We both have businesses that we wanna protect. They totally turned on him at the reunion, and we're like, no, Chef, you can't act like this anymore, we're making a stand against you. And now, Chef has turned it around with Whitney and Patricia, apparently, as they're winning accomplices, who are making it now that this is all Craig's fault. The reason they weren't hanging out with Chef was Chef's being a fucking drunk, assaulting alcoholic part. That was his fault. But now that this season they're making it sound like, oh, Craig's the one that's been, no, Austin, you were not hanging out with Chef until last week or whenever you started shooting the show again, 'cause they even had that conversation at the beginning of this, where Chef's like, I want us to get back, no one hangs out with me anymore. And he's like, okay, we'll be friends again. So then they kind of forgave him, but now they've, Chef has somehow managed to turn this into, it's all Craig's fault for being better, thinking he's better than us. When, Chef is the fucking one who got cut off for being a drunk, who keeps assaulting people every time they're in public, it's just, it's making me crazy. - I think that like, I think it's just, it's not as clear as it does. - It's that Chef and Whitney are such pieces of shit. - Yeah, I mean, I think they've turned that part around, but I do think, in terms of like, around on Craig, but I also have to imagine, like, yes, Craig is doing healthier things for himself, but I also imagine Craig is being much more annoying to be friends with, it's like, everything has to be at his house, everything, it's like, gotta be on his schedule, and like, he's not gonna return. And so he's making these healthy boundaries, which was probably better for him, but like, on the other side of that healthy boundary is like, it's like an annoying thing to have to deal with it, and it's like, it feels like he's probably not checking in with them, 'cause again, it's part of his boundaries, and people are probably like, frustrated and hurt, and I think that like, Craig just sort of, you either make that boundary, and then when people say like, hey, we're gonna do something without you, you're just like, that's fine, I made a healthy boundary, I get it, our friendships are going in different directions, or you make an effort with people still, but like, you just can't have it both ways, and it was just a very strange thing for me to watch the scene and actually have weird empathy for Austin, 'cause I've never really done that before, and it was weird, I guess 'cause Austin was really coming from a place of like, I miss you, and Craig was coming from a place of like, like, he basically coming up, he's like, Austin just misses his drinking buddy, I'm like, yeah, but isn't that actually a big deal, it might not be the healthy thing for Craig, but to be like, oh, Austin just misses his friend, it's like, yeah, exactly, that's exactly correct, and that's like, not nothing. - Hmm, well I think that's an interesting, listen, that's an interesting argument, I could never, ever feel sorry for Austin, and I get what Craig is saying, I don't like it. - I don't like it. He just misses me being, wait, I think there's something also like, he only likes me 'cause I'm wasted with him, which I guess I sympathize with that, because that's happened to me, where it's like, you don't like me, unless I'm drunk ass Ronnie with you, encouraging you to be drunk ass, whatever, whoever, you know, and if not, it's like, I'm worthless, like I'm still sitting here and able to have a conversation, and Craig's like, I tell you to come over all the time, you guys don't want to do that, you want to go being 20 year olds on fucking King Street, you know, you don't want to do this, so go do what you want to do, it's not like I don't want to be your friends, I just don't want to be wasted in a bar with you, and I'm worth more than just being some wasted guy in a bar to prop you up, you know what I mean? So I guess that's kind of how I'm taking what Craig says, now that said, obviously, Craig's fucking annoying, and I see what you're saying, you know, because Craig is annoying, and when they do that golf thing and he's cutting to the picture or cutting to the video of him like, well here's how we're doing gardening, he doesn't even know anything about any of this stuff, like when he was trying to pretend he was a food connoisseur a couple of weeks ago and couldn't even open the fucking wine bottle, you know? - And also don't forget like on the flip side, and I don't, I like, I'm not really trying to take Whitney's side at the very least, but you also have someone here who is on the show who's not willing to do anything unless it's like, you have to go over to his house, he doesn't want to hang out, and then all of a sudden like, but it's happy to use the show to promote his business. So like, I can-- - Well, have you seen Craig hanging out with everybody all the time, I'm confused, like what's Craig not been at. - Well, it seems like it seems like when it was, when they were not shooting, I think that's what this stems from, like when they were not shooting Craig is just-- - Whitney doesn't even live there when they're not shooting. - Whitney lives in California. - I don't think Chef doesn't matter. - Chef isn't ever there, Chef's constantly traveling, Chef's never in town. I mean, I think the only one who's there is Craig and Austin, and I think they do hang out. That's why I'm so confused by this whole. - Yeah, it's weird, but I have to say friendship breakups are always make the most compelling TV, like more so than relationship breakups. 'Cause friendship breakups are very nuanced, and they're complicated, and there's a lot of gray areas, and there's always good cases to be made on both sides. And I am totally into this situation that's happening with Craig and Austin, 'cause I find it to be very fascinating. I think all of your points that you've made have been 100% valid. I also think the points that I've made are 100% valid, and that's what makes these things interesting, because it's not just a their fault, their fault. There's always stuff happening that contributes to this total mess. - Yeah, well, I just feel like they're coming after Craig constantly. They come after him every year for being-- First of all, they're coming at him for being a fucking loser, and a compulsive liar, and he can't keep a job, and he's never gonna have a career. Then they're making fun of him for his sewing and being a loser with that, and always staying home and just working on a stupid sewing, getting a stupid house that's ugly, and it's never clean. He never does the work on his house. Then he gets his shit together, and does get in a good relationship with a girl that they consider much better, 'cause they all hated Naomi, so then he gets in a better relationship, and someone that they would all kind of respect, and he does get his shit together, and they still hate him. It's like, he can't, the guy never wins. Every season, he's their fucking punching bag, and meanwhile, they're both losers, Austin and Shep. They're both fucking losers. - Well, that's why they're parents, and don't do anything. And then they kick Craig every single time he's down. It's just like, Craig has his faults, but I'm not gonna listen to it from those two jackasses. - Especially Craig, or Shep, and loser fucking Cheetah, Austin, I don't feel shit for those two. - Yeah, but then the same time Craig is like, well, he finally realizes his worth, that he doesn't need to be the punching bag for these guys, 'cause this is totally true. They have been, they are crabs in a bucket trying to drag him down. So I'm like, you realize your worth, so then why are you, like, then move on? Why are you getting upset? - But why should he quit buying this? - Because why should he just be okay like being pushed off the show, because these losers have decided that he's gonna be put, like, it's just not, it's just not fair for them to when they decide, okay. You're not gonna kiss our ass, and you don't get to do the main filming of that. - If you don't wanna hang out with the guys on the show, though, then that's also like, why is that okay, too? Like, if you're on the show-- - But he is hanging out with the guys on the show. He hasn't been refusing to hang out with the guys on the show. This was, like, a Patricia's event. This was, like, Patricia having her guys' night and not inviting one of the lead cast members, and then bringing the replacement gays on instead. - How much is this just, like, that's just some-- - I think there's more going on behind the scenes. I think it's more than, there must have been something leading up to this season, you know? There's something where, I mean, maybe it's just jealousy, maybe they're just-- - I mean, I think they're saying what it is, don't you? - They're saying flat out what it is, which is, he's annoying now that he's successful. And we know that Craig is annoying, you see it, you know? And it's the thing of it, I keep bringing up, which is the winter house. I'm rich now, I don't have to clean. I think that's probably the attitude that they're talking about, where he, like, is so big in his own mind that he's just fucking obnoxious and now it's all about his influencing and his, you know, I can see how that stuff would be annoying. - Well, and Austin's saying-- - I just think that Craig is not going ahead like this with him, where it's just like, you're not invited to filming anymore, it's just-- - But, you know, the thing is that, like, Austin's saying that Craig is not returning his calls anymore and basically it's, what I'm actually getting the sense of is that maybe Craig is only, only shows up when he has, like, for filming, for like that scene with the three of them at the top of the show, like, if he doesn't have to shoot a scene, he's not gonna talk to you. And I think, like, I kind of get the sense that that is what they're butting up against and they're, or at least Austin is getting frustrated with. And that's the other thing, and this is why I can't, this is why it's so strange. If this were Shep coming to Craig's house and saying this stuff, I'd be like, well, Shep, you were totally vile to him and same with Whitney. But like, Austin, I mean, Austin and Craig have their weird relationship, but they are podcasts. They do a podcast together, and, you know, I don't know, like, there's something about Austin going over there and being like, I miss my friend and Craig being just totally just dismissive of it that I was like, I was like, that was shitty. I thought that was really shitty of Craig. - I mean, look, I can see that side of it for sure, but here's where it gets me. He goes, yeah, but Craig, you wanna hide out and not make the effort. And Craig says, yeah, but we record twice a week and we see each other at the gym. First of all, recording, I get that that's your job, but that's also not nothing. That's literally them sitting there shooting the shit with each other. And then when you see each other at the gym, that's not work either. That's where you sit and you chat with your friends. Like, that's... - Mm-hmm. - Any friend I've gone to the gym with, that's been our quality time where we go and we hang out and we talk to each other and we catch up. I've never gone to the gym with a friend where it's been like a work, formal situation. So if someone came to me and was like, wow, so you record, you spend two to three hours a week talking to me and then like five days a week hanging out with me at the gym and that's not enough, I'd be like, you're fucking medium weird. Like, what more do you get from me? - But as a counterpoint, if I... Ooh, something's coming from Amazon. Sorry, I'm like a dog, I'm like squirrel. A counterpoint is if we have a routine that we go to the gym and we do our podcasting and I was like, hey, Ronnie, let's go grab dinner or whatever. And you just were like, no. It's like, I'm only allowed to see you in a work or gym setting, daytime maybe, or really on your terms. And maybe that's what Austin didn't articulate. And I got, I hate that I feel like I'm going out of my way to defend. Austin, I don't know what this is about. But I can imagine it's like, what if it's Austin saying, I want to do other things. And Craig is like, no, I'm only slotting you into this thing where I can do a business with you and this thing because we have this routine and that's it, that's all you get. And Austin's like, but we used to have a relationship that had different dynamics and we used to go to each other's houses and just hang out. And Craig is like, well, I got all this now, you know? Like my whole life is business now. That's fun for me, making money, getting healthy, fucking my girlfriend. That's what I want to do. And if you're a real friend, you'd be happy for someone like that 'cause I built a fucking huge pool and say you guys can come out whenever you want. You know, that's my, that my fun isn't at the bar anymore. And that's true, he did buy this, but now they have to go schlep over to where, wherever the hell Craig is, off in the suburbs. So like, I just, I feel like I, I think maybe where I'm, what I'm reacting to is that like all the points that you're making are points I've always felt and agreed with, but I feel like sometimes I get more passionate about like, but let's not overlook this aspect too. Let's just not like Craig off scot-free because Craig is contributing to this too. And he's also like, he's trying to have it both ways. And I think he's actually kind of being a shitty friend too. - Yeah, okay. I mean, I agree with everything you're saying. I think I'm sure Craig is just annoying the hell out everybody. My main sticking point is this is like a main shooting event and you're trying to push him out. And that's just not like, I don't think he's done anything to warrant that. Especially when Shep is there just being fucking vile. Vile to the point where the whole cast has to take a step back and Shep is still invited to spit food all over your face all night. So I just think that was shitty, mostly on Patricia and Whitney's part, you know, mostly. - Well, you know, never forget Craig is the one who tried not to invite Naomi to his birthday party. And then everyone pressured him. And if I didn't put her in that, - Well, that was his show that she was coming back onto after dating Whitney to get back on it. - Which was also another fucking sticking point which I still think is totally gross of Whitney. It's like, okay, you can come back on the show. If you're dating me, it's like where is HR on this show? But Craig didn't owe Naomi anything. He broke up with Naomi a long time ago. That's a different thing. Naomi wasn't just a lead character that was still on the show being pushed out. - Yeah, but then if he's gonna have some sort of proprietary element like it's quote unquote his show, then he has to also like do the things on his show. - Well, you know, not just be like, okay. - And not just be like, oh come on, come on, come on, come on. - We need to agree to disagree 'cause it's like more of the same thing over and over. But I agree with what you're saying. I mean, I do see the annoying side of Craig. I'm just never, there's nothing you can ever say that's gonna ever make me feel empathy for Austin. I won't do it. - I know it's weird. I don't like being, I was like, I was watching this scene. I was like, I can't believe I'm feeling this way. This is, I'm never ever in years and years, ever felt a shred of empathy for whatever argument Austin's ever making. - Yeah. - Well, so either way-- - That's good. I'm glad you're feeling things. I feel nothing. - 20/25 is a great year. - Yeah, I feel like fuck that guy. Fuck that guy forever. - Austin's like, I know I wanna meet up with my buddy and like grab barbecue and talk about shit. Like watch them, watch the match, whatever match that may be. And he's like, I don't wanna go to the bar and watch the game anymore. I wanna watch at my house or at his house. He's like, look, but he won't. He won't even set foot. He set at my foot in my house like three times in my life. Like what is that about? - It's gross. And so Craig is basically like, look, our friendships never gonna look like it used to. And I would never tell you how to live your life. And he's like, I'm gonna tell you how to live your life. And he's like, well then what do you want from me? And I know you're not making a face at me 'cause I didn't come to your house and do this. And so Austin's like, I get it, you know, he's changed, but you know, when you're changing, you're supposed to keep your closest friends, the closest or whatever. And so he's like, all right, well, you can either swim or leave, this is my life. - And he leaves and then Craig swims. - And now the future of this true of men is in dispute. I mean they'll be fine, they'll always be fine. - Oh, they're always there. - It's the same thing they do every year. One of them is always on the outs, you know, and they have to make that one suffer for the whole season and this year it's Craig's turn, I guess. - And next one will probably settle in together and say, yeah, I'm really sorry about that. No, I do treasure you, blah, blah, blah. And here we are spending all this energy taking sides on a stupid thing and then they're gonna be the ones they'll be like friends next episode. - Of course, well, and also this leads to whatever happens next year, which is gonna be single Craig. So that's a whole different thing 'cause that's Craig right back into the position of going out with his friends, meeting people and kind of, is he gonna slide back into that? Or is he going to, what's he gonna do? - I don't know. It'll be interesting. - I don't really believe that Craig is this reformed guy either. You know, that whole scene where he was like, oh, welcome to my pool. - It was another scene, his pool. All the scenes right, his pool, which I guess is your point and Austin's point. But he was doing that scene where someone came over and he was cleaning up soda cans or whatever, beer cans, or I guess it was his cell sur I read about later. From all over the backyard, when apparently they had had some party and he's like, oh, I have a little cold. Wanna get in the hot tub, my little cold? - I was like, okay, so you're partying and doing coke all night. So he's not completely this reformed angel, you know? So. - Yeah, I just always think there's more to the store. I just feel like Craig gets off Scott for you all the time. And I'm like-- - Don't they all though? - Isn't this whole season "Shep Getting Off Scott Free?" What is "Shep" had to do? - Yeah. - "Shep" immediately came back like, "Oh, gosh, everybody, I'm totally different. It's just me, sweet shop dating the perfect beauty queen and never wanting anything else." Like totally behaving himself and everyone's like, "Oh, yeah, you know the real problem in this group?" It's not the grab ass old lech who's like, we can't take in public 'cause he's humiliating the entire cast and network. It's Craig who has a job and a girlfriend now. Like, how do you do that? - Yeah, like he's magic. His manipulation is magical. - Well, it's like a totally toxic situation and that's why it doesn't really matter what side you're on because it's always gonna swirl together, like both things swirl together and create the drama. - Yeah. - And, you know, that's why, again, friendship breakups, they're the best, they're the best to look at. And I guess the customary disclaimer, Ron and I are not mad at each other. (laughing) But we're never hanging out outside of this podcast again. - Roger, do you want to hike out tonight? - No. - Oh, hi. - I'll put on Shannon's Bulldoor hat. - Well, I'll carry you. How dare you? - All right, everybody. Thanks so much for being here with us. It is good to be back. Go get your tickets for the Golden Crappies and also our shows in San Francisco and San Diego coming up at the end of the month. Over at Watch what crappins.com, check out this video on Patreon. 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We love you guys. - If you like Watch what Crapin's, you can listen ad-free right now by joining Wondery Plus in the Wondery app or on Apple Podcasts. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. Before you go, tell us about yourself by filling out a short survey at Wondery.com/survey. - Hello ladies and gerbs, boys and girls. The Grinch is back again to ruin your Christmas season with 'Tis the Grinch Holiday Podcast. After last year, he's learned a thing or two about hosting and he's ready to rant against Christmas cheer and roast his celebrity guests like chestnuts on an open fire. You can listen with the whole family as guest stars like John Hamm, Britney Broski, and Danny DeVito try to persuade the mean old Grinch that there's a lot to love about the insufferable holiday season. But that's not all. Somebody stole all the children of Whoville's letters to Santa and everybody thinks the Grinch is responsible. It's a real Whoville who'd done it. Can Cindy Lou and Max help clear the Grinch's name? Grab your hot cocoa and cozy slippers to find out. Follow "Tis the Grinch Holiday Podcast" on the Wondery app or wherever you get your podcasts. Unlock weekly Christmas mystery bonus content and listen to every episode ad free by joining Wondery Plus in the Wondery app, Spotify, or Apple podcasts. - They say Hollywood is where dreams are made, a seductive city where many flock to get rich, be adored and capture America's heart. But when the spotlight turns off, fame, fortune, and lives can disappear in an instant. When TV producer Roy Raiden was found dead in a canyon near LA in 1983, there were many questions surrounding his death. The last person seen with him was Laney Jacobs, a seductive cocaine dealer who desperately wanted to be part of the Hollywood elite. Together, they were trying to break into the movie industry. But things took a dark turn when a million dollars worth of cocaine and cash went missing. From Wondery comes a new season of the hit show Hollywood and Crime, The Cotton Club Murder. Follow Hollywood and Crime, The Cotton Club Murder on the Wondery app or wherever you get your podcasts. You can binge all episodes of The Cotton Club Murder early and ad free right now by joining Wondery Plus.
This is part two of a two-parter!
It’s Patricia’s 83rd birthday and it wouldn’t be a true Southern Charm celebration without going out of your way to hurt someone’s feelings, so Craig is uninvited for not spending enough time with Shep and Austen. Cry into your pillow, Martha! To watch this recap on video, listen to our Sold on SLC and Traitors bonus episodes, and participate in live threads, go to Patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens. Tickets for the Mounting Hysteria Tour are now on sale at watchwhatcrappens.com
