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With the support of people like you, HRC fights for a world where lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, and queer people can live openly and thrive free from fear. If you're ready to support the fight for equality, to donate today, visit HRC.org/give. That's HRC.org/GIVE. Techster is offering our listeners a free trial right now when you go to Techster.com/crapins. Try Techster for free right now when you go to Techster.com/crapins. That's Techster.com/crapins. Watch What Crapins Would Like to Think It's Premium Subscribers. Cassie Bogolsky and Kristi Doherty, we love you girls. Hello and welcome to the Watch What Crapins Podcast, the podcast about all that crap we love to talk about on the old Brava. I'm Ronnie Karam from Trash Talk TV and I'm with the gorgeous, talented, lovely, and new home-ed Ben Mantleker of the re-sideblog.com and the Bantar Blender Podcast. Hello, Ben. Hi, Ronnie. How's it going? So good. What a lovely Tuesday. We just did a really fun bonus episode about, I mean, honestly, it was like bike lanes and lamps and... That's suction cups. We did talk Bravo Gossip, but we actually did talk a lot of Bravo Gossip. We talked Pop Culture Gossip, we talked about Sinead O'Connor going missing it. We talked about it. We covered everything. Is he on? Your father went up. He is up. Do you wonder where your daddy is? He is up. Like the movie. Thanks, Salim. It was a really fun... Sorry, I was going to say it was a really fun bonus episode. We went for, I think, about an hour and 20 minutes, so it's a full-on, like, podcast episode. Yeah. And if you want that, go over to patreon.com/watchwhatcrapins and become our premium subscriber. And we would also like to thank our premium subscribers as usual, and... Erm... Erm... What was I going to say? Oh, that's patreon.com/watchwhatcrapins. Go to facebook.com/watchwhatcrapins to talk with other listeners throughout the week in our live show, Threads, and to find all of our links, just go over to watchwhatcrapins.com. They're all there. We have just added our Snapchat links and names because... Now I... Yeah. That's just amazing. Oh, my Snapchat game. Because I really don't go on it very much. Right now, the Snapchat is for Bendelker, which is, like, just me, my Snapchat. I don't know if I... I don't know if I should do a B-side blog, so that way it's consistent with my other handles. I don't know. I don't feel like it. I think you should do a Bend Mandalker. Well, it's... It's free! But it says... But it says Bend Mandalker, it's just that the handle, the actual handle, is Bendelker. Oh, yeah. Change it to something. I don't know. One or the other. Fitchamoonius. Mine is Ronnie Karam. All one word. I'm loving that. I'm making myself... I'm face-swapping with house-wise, and then... Yeah, that's funny. Today, I put myself in a game of thrones as Khaleesi, and then I'm about to do a good wife one. I'm loving this shit. It's amazing. Wait, you did that through Snapchat, the little video? Well, I... Oh, this is how bad it's getting. I took the video on Snapchat against my green screen because my closet is painted like a green screen so I could make videos in there. By the way, my closet is like a shoebox, so I'm squatting on the floor. I shot it on the Snapchat thing so I could draw blonde hair on myself, and then I took it in a final cut. So it was actually posted on Instagram. I tried to do a face swap with Ramona Singer on Snapchat, and Snapchat refused to acknowledge that the picture of Ramona that I downloaded, that it's a human face. So I just would not offer it up as like, "Do you want to swap with this face?" It just would not. That is hilarious. I was trying to do one of the apes from tour group, and it would let me. So I'm glad that Ramona has the same problem. Well, you already did a Ramona because I'm posting it for the show thread tomorrow. Well, your face swap with Bethany is crazy because it's like, you look... I mean, it looks like a real human being. That one is creepy. That one really does look like our face. I tried doing one as Shep from Southern Charm. That didn't work. Well, yeah, I did one as Reza just to still imagine that. That was scary as hell. That's actually like... It just looked like Reza. So I'm like, "Ahhh." If I face off of Reza, I'm like, "I was wearing a suit because I was at a wedding." So what better time to do a Reza face swap than when I'm at a wedding? In order of Adam, that's so Persian. They need to do a brooch swaps. You can have an octopus brooch. If that's Persian, you did like a white Snapchat. Oh, yes. So anyway. Yeah, that's all that fun stuff. It's just me and on the internet. I mean, TV has been so good. Reality, these shows that we're watching have been really fun, but real TV has been amazing, too. Bates Motel just finished their season, and I'm only mentioning it on a bravo show because I bitched about how stupid that show was, and then I binge-watched it all last week. And wow, they sure got it together this season. So good. I can't wait to watch TV again, like I was selling you off the air. I just... I need... My TV is finally up on the wall. My direct TV receiver is plugged in and receiving images, but I don't have an HDMI cable that goes from TV to receiver that's long enough, and that's the last piece of the puzzle. And once that's in, then I could put my speakers up on the wall. I can be a human being again. I can watch TV. I can watch... There goes the mommy hood. Oh, I can't wait. I'm gonna... I'm waiting for you to binge on that show. Yes, I am going to binge so hard on it. It's pretty good. I'll watch one episode, at least. Okay. Let's get to our brabby braves. Brabby braves? Yeah, what do you want to talk about first? Let's do the mail bag. Let's do the mail bag. Vamp vamp vamp, while I get the Crapins mail bag. It's the music. Vamp vamp vamp vamp vamp. It's the southern charm mail bag thing. Vamp vamp vamp vamp vamp vamp vamp vamp vamp vamp vamp vamp vamp vamp vamp vamp vamp vamp vamp vamp vamp vamp vamp vamp vamp. There could not have been a more annoying way to introduce the Crapins mail bag than what we just did. By the way, I practice Stephanie's laugh from Dallas today, and I'm really hoping that it sticks for when we recap it, because I really think I've got a good take on our laugh. I think it was like... is that about right? All right, everyone's tuning out. Drove snow, stay, stay, stop hitting, fast forward, 15 seconds. Okay, let's see, I have not pre-read any of these, so why don't we just start with randomly Michael Horn, one of our Crapins mail bags. By the way, if you want to submit to the Crapins mail bag, just go to Patreon, that's how you do it, and it's the $5 tier, so that's if you're wondering how to get involved, that's how you do it. So Michael Horn says, "So Sheena's birthday celebration was a couple weeks ago, and for the first time in four years, it wasn't filmed. The entire cast was together, minus Tom and Ariana and Jackson Brittany, since they were all at the Kentucky Derby, what do you guys think the party was like, and most importantly, how many prime cocktails did Sheena order?" Well, I think we know the answer to that one. I think I'm going to just try one of each of the prime cocktails. Now, just add the sound of ski ball machines spitting out tickets in the background, and there, you've got a birthday party. Yeah. I think that the way it worked is... first of all, I feel like there was a little photo booth, you know, but the difference is, instead of the little photos popping off in a small printer next to it, I think it was that there was this automated photo to canvas. And by the end of the party, it was the entire space was populated with giant photos of Sheena. She filled up an entire Chuck E. Cheese of canvas to Prince of herself, looking away from you, whoever she was taking the picture with, just like she does with Shay. She's like, "What kind of a wedding picture when I'm not looking at Shay?" And then even hanging on the living room walls, it's like looking over Shay. No one ever sees Shay pour things. She never sees in her real life or in her canvas, Prince. All the guests leave sad. They're just sad and on drugs now. They're on painkillers. It's like one of those paintings you pass that they're always looking at you. She knows, like you go into her house anywhere she stands, she's looking at herself, but Shay is like the reverse. It's like any painting, not looking at Shay. You have to Shay's eyeballs are looking up. They're always looking at different direction. Like, "When I come here, Shay, you can't even look at me." Wait a second. How did that picture of Abraham Lincoln look away from me? She knows that you caught me. The bar basically has all the prime cocktails and then there's like a water jug for if you want to be boring and sober. I hope wherever that birthday was, there was no glass. I can't believe they broke a glass of my birthday in my foot. Everyone gets a complimentary halter top. I can't be. It'd be in charge of party favors. She just, whatever you come in, she just cuts it in half. And all the music is always wrong because the DJ was found off of Instagram. I didn't even want to hear this song on my birthday. But one reason I came to Chucky Jesus is because there wasn't a pizza oven here for James to stand in front of. And then the mayor of his music comes by and gives her a key to the city. It's just really just a giant pizuki. It's just a giant cookie key. It's a giant cookie key that only opens the chucky cheese for 30 minutes. Did you stand on the dumpster? You can see the whole city. Ah, thanks, mayor! Thanks, mayor. The mayor's also came to my birthday party, so it's kind of a big deal. We were gonna have this at mixology, but they wouldn't let the mayor of the zoos in. Mixology couldn't host the party this year because they rented out half the space to make a new buco de Beppo. So, I can't believe I would have happened on my birthday year. I'm buco de beppo. Right when you thought the Grove couldn't get shit here. And it's true, by the way, half of that restaurant is now buco de beppo. Yeah. In case anyone was really concerned. And it's also true that the world does not need any more of buco de beppo. They're like, let's have some shitty Italian food, but every room has a different kind of wallpaper. Let's get crazy! Hey, we have a new subscriber, Benjamin Cohen, and he says now that I'm a $5 subscriber, I want to ask about how Housewives has become a lot like professional wrestling in terms of storyline. Ben, since you work for the WWE, do you see the show as Kay Fade while the off TV antics are the shoot part of the story? For instance, Fade is one person on Atlanta, but a completely different one off camera. We'll never see her or see any part of her lawsuit against Angela Stanton. Bravo is trying to turn LVP heel, but trying to, I don't know, I think there was a typo. But the fans won't accept it. Let me know what you guys think. So, I guess the question is... Well, I think that in WWE, people smash chairs over each other's heads to make a point. And on the Housewives before the season starts, they get chairs smashed over their face so they can get them rearranged to be ready for the new season. Yeah. I think actually, Benjamin, you actually, you hit on something that I've said a lot. I used to say that a lot when the Hills was on. Remember when the Hills was on, everyone was like, "It's so staged. It's so staged. I can't believe it. It's so staged." It's like, "Well, yeah, no shit, Sherlock. It is staged." But just go with it. Have fun. I would always say it's just like professional wrestling. You know, it's not real, but it's fun to see it all shake out. So, you know what? So, I agree. It is like wrestling. It was not a lot like my experience when I worked at the WWE in that, you know, I didn't see people go flying through the air all the time. But I do think, yeah, you only get to see one part. I mean, remember there was the New Jersey and Dominican Republic. There was a giant brawl with a tree and the Manzo Suns and everything. Never made it to air even once. So, you only get part of it. Yeah, but it is a big fake storyline that they just throw people out there for you to boo in his hat. Or, "Yay!" That's a nice one. So, we all say, "Yay." And then, that's a mean one. So, we all say, "Boo!" And then, we don't even know why we're doing it. We just picked aside. And we're all such suckers. Us included, you know? Oh, yeah. Like, this recent season of Beverly Hills, I think, was the best example of that. Because everyone's like, "She's manipulative. She's manipulative. She's manipulative." And then, no one really, I mean, it even took us, I think, months of watching this show before we finally asked ourselves. But why? Like, what's she manipulating? Like, nobody even asked that. And it even took us forever. We talk about this shit for hours a week. But people are still, like, they're fighting to the death. They're like, "How could you like her? She's manipulative. What did she manipulate?" And it's the same thing. We just boo enhanced. You know, you cheer for your team. Yeah, I agree. You can't get too wrapped up. You should get wrapped up just enough to be wrapped up. But not enough to actually be circulating online petitions. That's what I say. That's the line. Get wrapped up to get heated, or to get excited, or to be out, to be drunk at a bar and like, plapping about it in someone's face until they're annoyed with you. But I think that's fun. It's fun to take a side on something, right? It's fun to get wrapped up in something stupid. It's fun when it's in the ring, but you can't be showing up to, like, supermarkets where someone is selling their wine or something and then tell them off. That's when it's officially gotten too scary and you just need to stay home. Keep it in the ring. Keep it in the ring. Exactly. It's like when I went to New Orleans two years ago, WrestleMania was happening down there. And like, there were people walking around on the street with, like, full on, like, title belts, like, fan title belts. And I was like, "See, this is too far." You know, I don't -- I actually never make fun of -- I don't make fun of anyone who is like a wrestling fan because, again, I worked there. And I -- for a moment there, I was like a really big WWE fan. Like, I get it. I understand why it's so fun and why you can get, like, drawn into it. But what I do think is strange is if you're walking around with, like, a title belt over your shoulder, as if you actually were a wrestler, stepping into the crawfish place. Like, that's strange. So that -- there's a line. There's always a line. I feel like wrestlers always act so manly, but they all shave their bodies. I think that's great. That's, like, my favorite -- that's my favorite juxtaposition, you know. They're like, "Wah! I'm, like, you just shaved your knife. Shut up." Those wrestlers are, like, the ones that I met, which were admittedly not a lot, were so nice. They -- it's so funny because there were these -- these -- there was a -- where I worked, there was a practice ring. And so I'd be sitting there moving beta -- beta -- beta max tapes from here to there. And meanwhile, there are wrestlers in this -- in this practice ring bouncing around, doing flips, pinning each other to the ground, all this, like, banging and all this noise. And they were all tattered up and big and they looked really scary in their, you know, sort of celebrities and everything. And I was really scared. I was just a little intern. And I remember walking by one once and I was like, "Hi." And he goes, "Hi, how are you?" I was like, "I'm fine, thanks. That's so wonderful to hear. Have a great day." I was like, "God, he's so nice." Yeah, they have to -- they have to rehearse because if one actually gets hit in the face with the chair, they're going to be like, "Oh, girl, now!" Well, I think that they really are -- they're really -- I believe, if I remember correctly, they're really told to -- you know, they have to be really good with fans. That's a really important part of being part of that organization. And so, even if they're acting crazy and growly and angry in the ring, they are -- they're really trained to treat everyone with respect. And you see -- I saw it. I was an intern. I saw it. I saw it. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Hey, you just spit tobacco too in my face. We'll have a good day. So that's also another difference between real housewives and wrestlers is that the wrestlers treat people with respect. The real housewives are like, "This part is full of Twitter people." Yeah, the real housewives are like, "Uh, you're all fat." Okay, the end. I'm done with this Instagram more. [laughter] You're so funny, Ronnie. Okay, next is from your friendly vegan. What the hell ever happened to Cedric from Real House of the Beverly Hills? Bring him and Brandy back. Whoa-ha-ha. You sound like a friendly vegan. You don't sound very friendly at all. Would you be? I mean, that girl's been a vegan long enough to have that name. That's a good name to get on Twitter, the friendly vegan. You know people were trying that. She's had that shit forever. That girl hasn't had meat in a long time. Vegans are very healthy. I would imagine that they'd go off at any moment. She must have a great body. I see a lot of vegans over at the Whole Foods, and I am not fucking with any of those dodo birds. They'll be at the crap out of you right there. They really will. And then they'll shame you. We've talked to my friendly vegan or your friendly vegan or whatever on Twitter a lot. And the first thing I ever said to her, I was like, "Oh my God, you're so pretty. How do you keep your hair from being so dry?" That's all I think about. I'm such a text. I've made being a vegan like, "You'll die. What are you going to do without a hamburger? Your hair's all going to fall out." So, whatever happened to Cedric from Real House of the Beverly Hills? I think he is back in Paris putting a little blanket in a phone booth because Lord knows no one uses phone booths anymore. So, he's back in his childhood home of a phone booth. He's just waiting for some random old rich lady to pass and be like, "My mother is a dead whore at that time." It's like, "Shut up." He has white makeup on, little black tears going down his eyes. But he can't mime anything. He's just walking around in a thong. He doesn't even know how to make a box. He can't even go down the escalator properly. People are like, "That escalator. Is that a staircase for an escalator?" "It is boss." Honey, why is that mime just marching in place? I'm going down the stairs. Shouldn't you not be talking? Ugh! Diamond! I was going to mime black male, someone. He's all painting his face black and delivering male. He's so stupid. Like, "Honey, that mime." I think he's miming that he has something on us and he's threatening to tell the world. Cedric is so stupid. Okay, Cedric is the perfect example of wasting your last years of hotness. 'Cause that guy was at peak hotness when he was on Beverly Hills. Like, Mendeley 30's works out every day. He had some Botox and some work done on his face. But, you know, not too much that children are horrified. And he could have become, I think, super famous. And, I don't know, maybe had a gay spin-off show. Like, "Hey, do you want a gay friend? Do you want to pay for a gay friend?" And he'd be like, "Hello, darling." And then he could be funny with the people. But, now he wasted it. Now he's just off somewhere, you know, trying to pick his face up off the floor and get on TV again. Bless his heart. I think he'll go into porn at some point, I think. Or is it too late? Too late. Too late. Oh, well, I mean, like, a fetish. Well, I don't think he has a porn, but... I don't think he has a Twitter. That would be great. Yeah, start with Twitter, then worry about porn. Porn is not an easy industry. I mean, there's a lot of people trying to get in that. We live in Hollywood. We see them all over the place. Like, what do you do? You know, I'm an adult film. I'm here to be in the adult film industry. Like, it's just like a new thing that... Yeah, it's a new job search. We're going to have a reality show for that shit soon. Well, I am happy to announce that Cedric does have a Twitter account. It's @CEDRHWOBH. So he is still capitalizing off of his real... I guess... I don't know what the W is for, but he still has the... Oh, yeah. It's real housewives. I'm like, "What's the W for?" So he doesn't even have the handle proper, but it's Cedric with real housewives at Beverly Hills. Still capitalizing off of that. How is he going to spell the tag right when he can't spell his name right? Yeah, exactly. He posts something as recently as May 9th, so... What does it say? It says, "Just posted a photo," and that's a link to Instagram. Oh, there you go. And it's an image of him with someone who looks sort of like Kim Richards, but it's not. I'm so afraid to see who it is. It's like Oscar the Grouch. I think it's... Well, she does look like that when she gets mad, though, Kim. Get away from the trash can, okay? How come that bird is sleeping while he's sitting up? That's dangerous. Her name is Lady V, so that's that. Basically, his Twitter feed is just his Instagram feed, so... Whatever happened to Cedric? Still, nobody cares. On March 17th, wait, on March 17th, he released a book on Amazon.com.uk. Who was he holding it for? The book... I'm blackmailing your book, Lisa. Whatever happened to Crap and Squirts, because that would be a good one. Okay, so the book is called "The Real Permanent House Guest of Beverly Hills Autobiography." But you're not a permanent house guest. You can't take that. You can't actually get a table at Sir, dude. The definition of lack of permanence. The non-permanent permanent non-house line. The first review, the headline is "One Star," and then this is what the review says, "awful." [laughter] I mean, at least get somebody you know to get on the Amazon. Geez, don't you have any supportive friends? You could be like, "I've got a book on Amazon." Like, no, you're just going to let everybody be a stranger. Come on. Do you want to hear what the product description is? Yes, please. Okay. What do you do when you have been handed the worst possible hand from birth? What do you do when Lady Luck seems to never shine upon you? What do you turn to when you are constantly betrayed by those closest to you? Forget what you may have heard or what you may have read about Cedric Martinez from the Real House by Sir Beverly Hills. Cedric's story will inspire those that feel hard done by while also enlightening others by revealing the other side of the coin. But most of all, it will leave you championing him. Despite the odds being against him from the beginning, Cedric managed to live through some incredible and horrific situations. And what's more impressive? All of this without ever losing his smile. His story will make you feel sad. It will make you feel happy, but most of all, it will make you feel not only will you be hooked from the first page, but the last will leave you wanting more. If you buy this book in braille, you can wipe your ass with it and exfoliate it at the same time. If you're describing in your book, if you're describing yourself as constantly betrayed, if you find yourself constantly betrayed, it's you. Yeah, it's you. By the way, length 414 pages. Is it written in large size text? We have to get a copy of this. That's just, I feel like that's just the book of Flame is. Oh, by the way, it's only available on Kindle. My mother was partied lapone, the original hooker. And Flame is a Roble. She slept by a dumpster and then was killed by the Phantom of the Up. Okay, you're just making this shit up now, Cedric. Whatever happened to phone booths? Then I was adopted by a big bold band, but Carol Burnett wouldn't let me go. I'm like, that's Annie now, come on. Everything seemed to be turning around until I discovered that my favorite plant was eating people, including my boss. Stupid Cedric. No one cares, Cedric. Cedric, the lack of entertainer. Cedric, the never entertaininger. The constantly betrayed. My goodness. We have to get a Kindle version of that or we got to get some copy. We have to read passages of that. That will be. Finally, that makes sense, Kindle. Do you have a Kindle? I don't have one. I have a iPad and I just put the Kindle app on there. Now I'm doing that one where you get books where you subscribe to it. It's like $10 a month, Scribd, it's called. You subscribe to it and it's like the Netflix for reading, which I guess should be a segue into an app. Why don't we just segue into that right now? Let's do it. You know what else? You can binge read. By the way, I don't read quickly enough to justify that $10 on the books thing because I'm stupid. I'm like, I need to read that chapter again, but I do binge read. My magazines. Yes, or read. For an example, we were talking about Celine Dion earlier and she was carrying. She's on the cover today of People magazine and she was talking about when when when they passed how I talked to the children about it. I said, Do you remember the movie up? This is your daddy. He went up. Did he go down? No, he went up and up and then do your feet go down or do they go up? Is he in the kitchen? No. Is he in the living room? 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