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Free shipping on qualified orders, see site for more details. This episode is sponsored by DoorDash. You've heard us talking about the latest dash pass annual plan benefit. Stream max with ads included at no extra cost. If you haven't tried it yet, what are you waiting for? Ronnie, you're a big Last of Us fan, right? Oh, I sure am. The HBO original The Last of Us. It's about to start another season. What would you order on DoorDash while you watch The Last of Us? Well, while I'm watching Last of Us, I prefer eating salads from DoorDash because the zombies are plants, so you're kind of eating the zombie plant people, you know? Oh, good. You're restoring order. Yeah, it's on theme. Sign up for a dash pass annual plan and get max included at no extra cost. It's your door to more. Max is now included with your dash pass annual plan. Stream max with ads up to $120 value included at no extra cost. In terms of supply, see DoorDash.com/max for details. Watch what crap is. Watch what crap is. Who cares what happens when there's so much that crap is? Crap is. Crap is. Crap is. Crap is. Crap is. Crap is. Watch what crap is. Watch what crap is. Who cares what happens when there's so much that crap is. Who cares what crap is. Who cares what happens when there's so much that crap is. Hey, everyone. Welcome to Watch what Crap is. The podcast about all that crap we just love to watch on Bravo. I'm Ben Mandelker from bsideblog.com and the banter blender and joining me as always is the wonderful, freshly scrubbed and melodious, Ronnie Karam from trashtalktv.com. Hi, Ronnie. Hello, Ben. Hi. Hello. Hello, hello, hello. It's going to be a crazy day. I never take a shower before we record it. Everything's new and fresh. I know I did not take a shower, but you know what I did do is I went to breakfast, and I rarely actually like go to breakfast, like go and have a breakfast meal before we record, and you know who I saw at breakfast? Who? A Bravo star, none other than Melissa Ford from Blood, Sweat, and Heels. Well, look at that. Look at that. And that's just a blessing right there for our podcast. Well, all those people who are wondering, "Does Melissa Ford go to breakfast?" There you have it. That has been solved. And some guy walked up to her table and he introduced himself to her and her friend, and it was really awkward. And then you walked away and they gave looks to each other and they were like, "We are still trying to process that." And I'm surprised she didn't charge him because that's how she makes her money. I mean, pervs come up and shake her hands. She usually gets a fiber or something. Well, you know what? She is beautiful. I would like to add, "No makeup, no nothing." And she's beautiful. Melissa Ford, you go girl. If I may use an antiquated expression from the '90s, which is when, I mean, she's kind of, she herself is an antiquated expression from the '90s, so that's why it's appropriate. But she's gorgeous. To do the Roger Rabbit with me. Anyway, she looked lovely. I'm just reporting. Just reporting what I'm seeing. This is just another morning. It's really just an elaborate way to say that I had a big, tall thing of ice coffee at breakfast. And then I got a second one to go and I got a urine of styrofoam cup. That's not going to be helping the earth, but it's going to be helping my high. So that's what's going on this morning. I have a friend whose new obsession with helping the earth is straws. She keeps posting, "Guys, straws." Am I right? I mean, there's landfills filled with straws. Get a metal straw. And she'll show her a special metal straw. No. That's when you've gone too far. That's when it's time to turn off the Facebook. Yeah. No, let me tell you something. Metal straws are the worst. I don't know what it is. You just, it's not the same sort of suction. Like a metal straw or one of those like recycled straws or those, like, those ones that feel like cardboard. No, you just-- The paper straws are the worst. They just have to be plastic. I'm sorry. You know what? And if it's not going to be plastic, then just don't use a straw. Agreed. And you know who else would agree? Melissa Ford. I'll bet you anything. I believe she is on our side with a straw agenda. I'm going to wait in that diner until she comes back in just so I can ask her. What are your thoughts on straws? Blood, sweat, and straws. Straws? Killing the world? Or is China worse? What's your opinion? I'll tell you what's killing the world is probably the styrofoam cup that the straws in. So this is-- we're already off on a crazy place. I am like my eyes are crossed right now. I'm seeing double. So everyone, if you are feeling it this morning the way we are, go to facebook.com/watchwalkrapins to join in on the conversation. It is such a good Facebook page. We have now-- we just hit today 6,500 likes on Facebook, which is awesome. It's just like-- if you multiply that by like 100,000 that'll be like 65 million and that's when we last saw dinosaurs. So really, we're there. If you come to patreon.com/watchwalkrapins, you can support us. You get access to a bonus episode once a week so you get like a full extra 45 minutes to an hour of us talking about-- it's like what we're talking about now but for like an hour. You get access to hangouts and stuff like that. And then if you go to watchwalkrapins.com, then you can find links to all our personal Twitter feeds and Instagrams and all that great stuff. Yeah. So, I mean, that's that. All right. Well, let's get this going. Yeah. So we didn't do it. This is our very special Cinco de Mayo episode and I said it with as much of an American accent as possible. That's Cinco de Mayo, Mexican music. So we are not building a wall around this episode. We are going to open up the Crapins mailbag for Cinco de Mayo. Do it! Sorry, but mail is delivered on Cinco de Mayo. Okay, everybody? Just get over it. You'll be fine. Should we renovate or revise our Crapins mailbag music to have lyrics? I realize that clear the Flem has lyrics, but Crapins mailbag doesn't have lyrics. It just has noise. It's the mailbag, it's the mailbag, it's the mailbag. We should really, it occurs to me, there should be some sort of like Crapins mailbag or what you just sang. Because it's just a dinosaur and some sheep. Yeah. There's usually lyrics, we just didn't sing them this week, because I'm still thinking about what Melissa Ford was possibly ordering in that diner. You know, I didn't look, I did not look. I'm guessing egg whites, but also toast. Okay, what's in the mailbag? All right, so, Michael Horn, we start with Michael Horn, a regular contributor to the mailbag. And if you want to contribute to the mailbag, by the way, that's a donation level or whatever, add Patreon. So that's how you can do that. So he says, Ramona has been posting on Twitter recently saying, "We are in the world is hashtag Ramona." First of all, I love that she's, "Is that true?" Because I imagine she's in New Zealand, because Bravo in New Zealand just launched and apparently Ramona was there. Oh God. So Michael says, "First of all, I love that she is attempting to get her own name trending. Second, if this were an actual show, what would it be like? This is great. I love it." We are in the world is hashtag Ramona. Where in the world is Ramona, Ramona, Ramona? I'm in Zambia. Today I'm in Zambia. It's just Ramona going from country to country, making people unpack for her. I feel like it's just her going from like Zbarros to like, to like Zabars. Am I in Zbarros today or Zabars? We're in the world. Hashtag Ramona. I'm in a cinnabon in Nicaragua, okay? I went to Oban Pan and I saw Matt Lauer. We are in the world is hashtag Ramona and hashtag Matt Lauer. Who wants to eat at a restaurant called Al Bon Pain? Like that's crazy, am I right? Like who wants to go to Hale and Hardy? Like what's Hale? I know Hale, but not Hale. I don't get it. What are these? igloos? This is crazy. These things are so small, like they're made of ice. It's crazy, okay? Hey Avery, someone made a house out of ice cubes and they made it in a circle. And there's no, there's no penguin inside. It's actual people in there. It's crazy. What was the whole point of Carmen San Diego? Because I played the computer game and on that one you had to, they would give you clues about states and stuff and then you would have to guess the state. Yeah, because Carmen San Diego is an international bank thief, heister, whatever. And so you're trying to find Carmen San Diego and her cronies, like every level will be her crony. So you would get to a state, I, of course, I had the where in Europe is Carmen San Diego, so I was a little more refined. A snapple. And you would basically, in my, you know, you'd go, you'd get to a place and it was like, if you were on the path, there would be like an animation of like a, like a crook carrying like a bank safe across the way or a bank safe would fall and it's like, oh, you just missed them. But they left this clue. They're going someplace that like where there was an old Colosseum and you're like, ah, Rome. So then you'd go to Rome and it's like, oh, you just missed her again, you know, when in Rome, where Ramon of blue? Okay. Okay. I'm sorry, but I had to steal this dress. Are you chasing me all around Europe for it now? I think that's a little rude. I'm sorry. It's day, class A. It was the sheet on my bed. Okay. It was the toga. I thought it was for free. Okay. It was in Ramona blue slash Ramona red. Okay. I thought it was mine. To prove how independent I am from Mario, I'm going to send him to the bill for those hotel sheets. Okay. The interns told me to take them. The Roman interns gave them to me. Okay. Hey, I'm in chipriani is right now. Okay. So we're in the world. Am I? Oh, I guess I ruined it. Okay. I just like the idea of it being her in a food court. Hey, it's the barrow. Don't you mind unpacking my BX for me? Okay. Hey, I'm in Panda Express, but it's not going very fast. If you ask me, okay, I'm sorry. Sorry. What's that Asian? The Asian place in the mall that you get like noodles from the buffet. I know. I was I couldn't remember. That's why I said Panda Express. It was something like, I don't remember, but there was that place. It's okay. Like extra for guacamole. Okay. I'm going to get crazy. Okay. That's what the new me does. Okay. But what me wouldn't pay extra for guacamole. But here I am. Like I'm all alone. Are there any men here? Hey, we're in the world is hashtag Ramona. I'll give you a clue. There are no cats here, but there's certainly our dogs and they love their sticks and they might be on them. Okay. We're in the world is pepperoni. Like this pizza is so blank. It's like a map that no one ever knows where to go. You know, there's like nothing on the map and he's some little thoughts of pepperoni. Okay. It's a baro. Hey. We're in the world is hashtag Ramona. I'll give you a clue. I'm not. I'm hanging out with my friend Nathan and he brought his dog. Get it? And we're going to go to Coney Island soon. Okay. Hey, hey, we're in. I like that she knows she starts it all by like interrupting you going, Hey, hey, she's like uneven. You know how like she does that? She sort of does that sway. She's like, Hey, and she shakes her head. Hey, we're in the world is Ramona. I'll give you a hint. If it's a spicy place and the spice smells like cinnamon and I'm wearing my head in the bun, my hair in a bun. Okay. That's the clue. I think she would just go to the mall and stand in front of the directory. I think just so people would pay attention to what are you looking at? You want my picture? It's because it's the new Ramona. Take a picture with the new Ramona hashtag. Where in the world is hashtag Ramona hashtag where in the mall is Spencer's gifts. I'll help you find out. Here's the directory right next to me, Caroline Fleming would totally find her post on Instagram to you because they'd all be hashtag with random things. She'd be like hashtag pepperoni. Oh, look, it's Ramona. Oh, what else is in that mail, Berg's Oliver Haskins says, imagine it is May, 2017. And after the smash success of Kyle sitcom, TV land has decided to order a new series, Lil Stinger, the job is to open for a team of show runners for the, I'm sorry, the job is open for a team of show runners for the series. But first, you both must collaborate on answers to two questions. One, who should be cast as Geraldine Parsons Smith and two? What is the plot line of a typical episode? By the way, I acknowledge that this is my second question about Kyle sitcom, but I'm obsessed with the idea of turning a horrific childhood marred by addiction, financial strife and sibling warfare into a family's sitcom, almost as obsessed as I am with Kyle's decision to sit in her hallway for her confessionals in front of that stairway that seems too steep with the railing covered in plastic. Oliver, you are living a trip today and the crap is mailbag. I love it. Okay. So what is it now? It's who's in two of Kyle sitcom? Yeah. No, no, no. Because Kyle sitcom was such a success, there's going to be a spinoff about Ramona's childhood called Lil Stinger. Lil Stinger. Lil Stinger. Lil Stinger. It really is. I'm sorry. So one, who is Geraldine Parsons? Who plays Geraldine Parsons Smith? I'm going to say. Oh, absolutely. I was going to say Holland Taylor. And then. Holland Taylor. Oh, she's dating. What's your buttons now? Okay. Carry on. I'll figure it out. Oh, yeah. That's right. She's a lesbian now. And two, what is the plot line of a typical episode? Well, I think every episode begins with Ramona walking into a forest and then remembering something and crying, although she's, that's how it starts. Old Ramona. Like present day Ramona remembers something and then we flash back to Lil Ramona played by another fanning sister, the new one because there's Dakota and there's L so I'm sure there's another one ready to come up. The new one, Dakota, L. It's actually played by Avery, it should be played by Avery because Avery was his inspiring actress at one point, right? Yeah, but still just be rolling her eyes the whole time. Like it needs to be someone with popped out eyes. I'm trying to think he was like little with popping out eyes. Susan's daughter from Game of Crowns. Like, L.O.L. is laughing now, daughter. Hello, well. I'm Ramona Singer. And these are my thoughts. I remember being in the woods and now I'm scared. Yeah, it could be all the horrifying things of why she's scared of in this episode. Like it could be modern day Ramona getting out of a cab and having to get over a puddle. And then she'd be like, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do. When I was a little girl, okay, like I went pee pee in my bed and it made a puddle. And then my dad put my nose in it and spanked me and said, outside, outside, so now every time I see a puddle, I start crying and screaming outside. And then Piper Laurie as Geraldine Parsons Smith comes in and yells at her. I think Piper Laurie is actually a perfect blend of Holland Taylor in my entry. She is Piper Laurie is Geraldine Parsons Smith. And she yells at Little Singer. And then Little Singer gets so mad that then knives come out of. So basically Ramona as a child is Carrie. Yeah, pretty much. Let's just face it. Ramona someone, someone, you know, dumped a bucket of blood, pig's blood on Ramona at the prom, except instead of closing all the door with rage, with rage, she goes, you know what? This is Day Class A, okay prom? I want all of you to know, I'm going to lock you in the gym and tell you that this is Day Class A. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. And then you all start screaming. No, the old me would have burnt down this high school, okay. But the new me realizes that this has invented Ramona red, okay. Okay. Okay. And then Bethany is in the crowd. I don't get it. Is this like a prank? Is this like empowerment? Like what's happening here? I don't get it. Like literally like kill me now if you're not, if you're not literally Ramona kill me now when you're telekinesis like literally I'll be on the floor dying and I'll be happy like literally like this place on fire already like I'm ready to die like I can't look at you with the blood on my face. Okay. Like literally I've had enough like I don't get it. Like I don't get it. Like I don't get it. It's catharsis is like like adolescence like I don't know. I don't know. Oh no. What? What your mom makes you pray? Like she makes you pray every day. That's abuse Ramona. Oh really? Really? Really? You want me to tell you about my mom? Trust the floor and then you know like lose a bunch of breath through the racetrack you know and then not get dinner for three days but still throw something up like is that your mom like brand your mother like like literally like like I'm sorry like I'm sorry I'm sorry that like I made fun of you in the locker room about like you having a period like okay like I get it like I'm I'm I'm abrasive I'm tough like I make jokes about periods like that's just who I am like I'm sorry like you know what like you just have to like I'm gonna stick up for you and I'm gonna like argue with you as me okay like I get it okay you know what it's fine just like kill me now just like burn me down and kill me in the car like I get it. I heard that Ramona's period was written by a ghostwriter I thought kind of period Carol okay. Sorry I'm not dead yet I'm gonna crawl out of this grave I'm sorry so it's basically okay so it starts with Ramona being triggered in the present about something on her past and then it's like abuse at home and having pig splat throw it on her high school walk that's me complaints about she does something telekinetic that's doesn't kill people it just annoys everyone she's making the chairs float around again I'm sorry strippers feel their chest being poked sexily you like that she's just like a really annoying telekinetic presence oh gosh there goes my pencil again so I'm sorry I like opening itself so weird I'm sorry I can't be around you it just makes me look bad okay so now Catherine says I'm gonna give you the hardest marry fuck kill ever I don't know what I would do she says Kate Chastain Cameron you banks or Caroline Stansbury who do we marry fucking kill she is that's why Mary Stansbury because I don't think that she has a prenup okay she's the richest mm-hmm and also she has like that really lovely amount of hatred that sees out towards everyone so that would be natural I feel like in a marriage right I would probably fuck Cameron because usually people who were that uptight hello yeah I'm yeah yeah are usually pretty decent with the sex and also they're very careful to clean up after yeah and who is the other one Kate oh I'd have to kill Kate no way yeah I'll fuck eight kill Cameron just you know she doesn't know how to cook I feel like I might I might actually marry Cameron because well no but she wouldn't cook a good meal you know look at all her kitchen utensils Ben you love that shit I would I would actually marry Kate because well I actually don't think she would keep the piece place clean because she doesn't like keeping her own place clean but maybe she would but the very least I think that she would makes us good cocktails and then we'd be shady about everyone all the time you know and I think I think Caroline I wouldn't want to fuck Caroline cuz she'd probably like I'll be done yet all right clear the sex clear so I'd feel bad and then so I think Cameron yet but I guess you have to have sex with Cameron and then kill Caroline but I you know why I'd kill Caroline cuz I think she'd be okay with it she'd be like oh I'm just done I'm already I'm gonna kill me already that's the happier in the grave I was purchased eight other lives like a cat go ahead make my day you just come right back to life you literally can't kill me so you can say you'll kill me and it's fine cuz I will not be dead ring it will come in and just like on a piece are all back together the ring you would take the bullet bad days mom that you want to kill yeah all right well you know what to do all right good damning your mom yeah yeah get on with it you could never kill her because her assistants keep jumping in front too fast that would be of me Valentina Valentina take the bullet please Valentina please step into the cement and we can chuck you overboard okay great and I wouldn't want to kill any of those people I would want to marry all of those people actually because Kate would always be gone she's always out of town there's just like fresh money in the bank account but you don't know why or what she's doing I'm into that yeah I think it would be a great like it'd be great sister wives situation great you know what I think I would probably have to kill Cameron because Cameron would just I would make her crazy she'd be out you have a dirty room you know what that means about people I mean that's that's bad you need to get it together what he's already with a dirty room I mean we need to have an intervention that's disgusting yeah she probably would do that but she would also be shady too because all three of these women are shady which I like but I think I'd be I think this shadiness I feel like Kate well we've already been shady with Kate and we know it works so well whereas I feel like with Caroline at the end of the day she would still make me feel bad about myself a little bit like we'd be shady but then I would probably turn into jewels around her you know and I think that I couldn't keep her around in a marriage balls and you don't like it well because at a certain point I'd realize that all this time I thought we were being shady about other people but Caroline is just being shady about me she'd be like I don't oh no go ahead no no I was just imagining her being like oh that's that person's just useless more useless than you are and I'm like yeah I know it totally and then it should be like wait everything is coming back to comparison to me so that makes me like her more because I if I didn't have self-hatred I would never get anything done because I only do things because I'm like you're such a loser get out of bed so I get out of bed and that would be supportive you know if someone was like such a loser get out of bed you know I wouldn't have to say it to myself for every day I feel like I'd love myself more at the more she hated me yeah that's true Henry Henry Sebastian asks says please please please please re give me your Adrian Maloof as the Little Mermaid singing part of your world it's my favorite watch or crappins moment and what Disney character would Bethany be thank you I truly love you and Lauren Grabowski comments commented to that and said Bethany is rabbit from Winnie the Pooh so I guess we could do I why would you do some Adrian Maloof during Little Mermaid and then we'll go to what Disney character Bethany would be okay why were we doing Adrian Maloof as a little mermaid I don't remember how that came up we were rich isn't it me when you think my collections complete Paul my collections complete way messing with my collection what do you call them folks I don't know I don't know what you're calling Paul Jackpot get over here someday I'll run someday in the sun someday I'll play all I mean what that I don't even know Paul these lyrics are stupid get them off the screen useless part of your world except from now from what we know now she'd probably be standing over a crib like putty a world always dating a baby yeah and her collection is nothing but hair tinsel what do you call it hair tinsel I love it when day you'll talk one day you'll walk and then you'll be too old so I'll kick you out of my house fuck out of here I think that like if Bethany were Disney character I could imagine her being like a really annoying princess Jasmine being like like what is this like it's like it would take me to pick me up and like a carpet like I don't get like a magic carpet like why like what about a horse like why like I'm used to horses like like a car like what's carpet I walk on carpets what I want to say it's like gross like it's dusty like I don't get it like it's flying like I don't get this like what's happening you're like what's this cave like a genie like who's genie like why should I be friends with genie too like your friend comes in a lamp like like none of this makes sense like literally like literally like kill me now like just push me off the carpet like I'll just die on the sand like right now lovely I don't even date like fat guys but you know like I gotta see this Eric Stone Street guy ride a coffee like that's good I'm on I mean I mean you can ride this carpet Eric Stone Street go on take it up I dare you I dare you you're doing it you're doing it I'm so proud of you lie it's amazing I never thought that would be possible I mean look at you you're fat and we're on a rug and it's it's racing like it I don't even know if it's magic if there's like anti-fat gravity in the world I don't even know what it is how do we brand this like like I don't get like it's like literally it's like it's like a whole new world like I don't get it like why do I need to see a whole new world like I'm already princess like I don't need another world like I'm in my own world like I have my world like I'm in my bubble like like you're taking me out of my bubble like this it's literally like a whole new world like I like these I don't get it like what like literally just kill me now like I don't like this world like if there's a whole new world I want to be in my world I think she should be in frozen she should be Elsa because I mean obviously there's like frigid jokes there but I think it would just be funny to see Bethany getting really mad and then building things with her hands like out of ice like a big ice or something like whoa look at that this is like a huge house like I was homeless before now look at this like I was poor before but now I have ice homes you know what I mean well she would just basically yell let it go she would just go up to someone like Lou and I'm like let it go let it go like literally literally let it like if you don't let it go like I'm being a snow just like frozen literally like I'm frozen I got my walls up like I got my ice walls up like I'm literally I mean my mountain like I know it's not the biggest I know it's not the biggest like ice castle but it's mine and I like it okay and there's like a little ice castle bar on the back and it's cute okay like I'm sorry I'm sorry just like literally let it go let it go should be talking to that little snowman guy like lucky a little snowman guy like you know what you got like an eating disorder like seriously like you just totally browned like every part of you is like a big ball like you need to lose some weight okay like you've got a carrot the only carrot you've ever seen in your life is on your nose like you need to eat that you know what I mean like stop eating the ice cream and start eating the carrots like you're fat like I don't want to build snowman like I'm sorry like I don't want it okay like you've been asking me for like 17 years like I have an answer the door like get the picture already like I don't want to open a snowman like a little snowman okay like it's like too much it's like snow it's like I've done that I've been there okay I don't need it like I just want to like stay here you know what I want to do I'm gonna sit by the fire and drink a skinny girl hakoko okay that's what I want to do all the snowmen would be dead she'd be like skinny snow cone skinny snow cone you know what I want to do I just want to have some reindeer me okay you know what that's a bit reindeer that falls around like let's just kill him and eat him okay enough that Rudolph like sometimes I reindeer and I burp and then sometimes I eat reindeer and I like fart at spots like it's crazy like what's happening what's coming out of me like it's disgusting literally just let it go like let it go just let it be like why don't you be you and I'll be me okay Ramona you be you I'll be me okay everything that's broke just leave it to the reason when you just be you and I'll be me okay it would come to the end like the big note at the end and she'd just be like I'm not singing that note look but that knows too high it's like what am I gonna kill myself for this is super cartoon like I'm going back to bed Prince probably already sleep right now she can't even pay attention all this you know she's like smart but she's like baby smart you know like they don't know anything they're idiots you know like she's not gonna make it behind now I'm going to bed you know I'm gonna go back to Florida okay like I want to go back to Florida like it's too cold up here okay you know what I'm going to Florida and that way like I'm not gonna freeze everyone okay everyone could just calm the fuck down because it'd be too hot so I'm not gonna freeze you so just everyone calm down let's go to Florida we'll go to the races it'll be fine I'll have cocktails okay you know it's fine it's great you know and I'm like you know I'm not gonna fight my sister you know I haven't seen her in a few months okay it's been like a few months I'm not done fighting her no big deal that's it there's no big story about it that's it it's fine my sister wanted to come to the party with Kyle like it's desperate it's disgusting like no it's like it's like I'm not gonna no it's like I'm in Florida I'm in my happy place it's like it's like it's not about me like it's not my party it's like it's people are coming over it's like I don't know it's like it's just enough it's like it's like it's desperate like it's weird it's right it makes me feel strange okay like enough like literally let it go let it go let it go the house is tiny Carol in the back like just inserting Carol into things at Bethany's and then nobody even knew Carol was there anyway I'm just wondering my boyfriend's taking in the next room I think I said this in the podcast the other day but I still because he's only hearing one side of this and it's just like craziness okay Lauren Green asks with all the stuff coming out about how the biggest loser is basically a torturous mindfuck of a competition that scars the participants and their metabolisms there are contestants that were totally drinking the Kool-Aid team biggest loser who are suddenly changing their tune what Bravo shows show or shows do you think has the most Stockholm syndrome in its cast participants and will subject it and will be subject to an expose a think piece love you guys you're getting me through my husband's deployment while staying at home with a two-year-old named Benjamin and training for a half marathon also Ben I went to the same high school as Heather go Quakers do you wait you went like Heather went to you went to horse really Heather went to a high school with Quakers as a mascot that's the best thing I've ever heard which does that mean that you went Lauren as I'm talking to you as if you're right here does that mean you went to horse really because we played you guys in sports by the way so awesome thank you by the way for for for that compliments saying that we're getting you through your husband's deployment I hope he comes home safe and sound yeah me too so okay this question so it sounded fake but I really do I don't know how to sound sincere I don't I never do it but for real yeah for real um so what Bravo shows have the most Stockholm to a German finance cash participant and will be subject to an expose a think piece oh my gosh um but see hmm big brother maybe no it has to be a Bravo show oh oh a Bravo show where people are are are drinking the Kool-Aid well I think it would have to be probably I mean this is the most obvious answer obviously but it would have to be a housewives shows because those housewives think they're going on this show and everything is going to be great from now on they're like I'm going to be famous I'm going to have this product and then I'm going to sell zillion products and become the next skinny girl and then next thing they know they're divorced their children hate them no one will speak to them they're broke they're in bankruptcy someone kills himself I think um I think that uh it's it's watch what happens I think people go on they're really excited to go on to a talk show and they they're playing these games like hey who's penis is that and they afterwards they come off they're like what did I just do who drugs no that show is you know I've been watching New York City live the housewives of New York live because I don't want to wait for it to come out on cable because we do it so soon after it airs and so I've been watching it and um wow watch what happens I just keep it on and watch what watch what happens yeah wow I mean it just it never ceases to astound me that show and I think you're right because people seem like you're so excited like look who we've got at somebody from the Kimmy Schmitt show rhymed with jewels and it never rhymes or whatever and then jewels is there and they're acting all smiley that's one of those TV shows you know when you watch like Telemundo or something yeah and you're like how could shows possibly be this stupid because you don't understand what they're saying and it's yeah the clown comes on yeah yeah it's like the clown the bumblebee clown from the Simpsons or whatever but that's a real thing you know and you just think these are so stupid I think that's what everybody thinks who doesn't know English watches watch what happens what the fuck are we watching yeah I think that's a really that's that's true yeah I think that's the I think that's the biggest cases Stockholm syndrome is going on watch what happens and you know what by the way if they ever asked us to go on as like guess bartenders would be like yeah sure we'd have like a rich and like this is so fun da da da and we'd be totally Stockholm syndrome also yeah we'd be those awkward bartenders and it'll never leave us alone like every time you search our names the only picture that will come up is us looking terrible behind the bar you know like at that awkward angle that everyone's at people always by the way people always ask me have you guys been on watch what happens have you guys have you guys been guest bartenders you guys should be guest bartenders we've not been on watch what happens and it's not up to us to decide if we can be guest bartenders well we're fans of these shows obviously but I don't think they would want to make fun of shit kind of away not in the oh my god this is so great kind of away I don't I mean they'd be stupid to have me on there they should have you like shirtless cuz you're a lot stuff you know I am not going shirtless on TV anytime soon I have like dad bod it's really unfortunate so that's our pot that's why they're always cheating on their wives well the thing is it's funny people do always ask like do they know about your podcast is Bravo no and I am pretty sure that Bravo knows about us but we have we have this like weird unspoken relationship I feel like because they never they never send us one single press release anything they don't send us a dime they don't reach out to us at all and I think it's because I don't think they can because we make fun of their stars so much that if they were to like send us stuff to whatever it would be to be like hey we love you guys whatever if they were to do that then they would have their stars potentially they could have their stars yelling at them being like why are you like why are you nice this podcast that like says the nazas things to us so I don't think they care about that stuff I think a lot of it like I've noticed in these reunions is Andy just not want you know he asked he doesn't ask the important questions because you can't just it would just end the reunion like yeah if you if you figured everything out then there would be nothing to talk about you know so he's just like okay well you know you just totally lied about that person right to everybody's face let's move on talk about implants yeah exactly okay so our last question of Cinco de Mayo is Karens are with Karen Kesar we love Karen she made us pins she says Ronnie now that the good wife is ending what will you watch as a salve for all the pain caused by the housewives and then besides games what is your sanctuary so Ronnie you can start well I hate comparing the show to the good white because there's nothing alike but my new guilty pleasure is that Jennifer Lopez also I'm sure that's gonna come back for 24 episodes next time and I'll watch all of those instead because the good wife is only kind of been good the past couple years anyway and I'm kind of same watching it sometimes yeah I don't want the good wife but I can I can let you guys know that my parents are avid good wife watchers I don't know what are those what are their fans called goodies maybe good wifeies I don't know but my so the latest report from my mother is you know the good wife it's not very good anymore we prefer madam secretary so you know I would like madam secretary never even thought of that I would like to suggest madam secretary because it is the preferred one-hour drama in my parents household these days I've read the TV guide about that show one time you know just a little blurb about it and it's like madam secretary has an issue with the Chinese Prime Minister in the Russian food court of the Nicaraguan passport center I'm like this is ridiculous well when I go home and I'm like hey mom and dad I need to record something on the DVR or the podcast and they're like well what do you what are you recording like well I gotta watch like real house or whatever like what time like Sunday probably eight o'clock and they'll give me this look like madam secretary is on then we go sorry my mom does that too when I go home she's like there are four lifetime movies all at the same time I'm sorry we're recording all of them so let's like figure it out you better not get in the way the madam secretary recording okay okay all right oh I gotta ask my mom about that it's like that's the line you know like when you go home your parents my parents are always like oh my God what do you want what do you want to make your breakfast out of the can I just you better not get in the way of my parents are you better you better not you don't turn into a teenager again I'm like you don't even support me me too like just to get back at my mom I subscribe to everything on her recorder in the room that I know she watches lifetime I'm like record all real housewives shows of all time thank you yeah I get really petulant like yeah I don't even like to yoni which is a lie I love to yoni so you know how can you not love to yoni ever since flirting with disaster I've been just fully you like I am I am I'm a fan for life because of flirting with disaster and I also like that her name is tea because you know that's a lovely drink it really is okay and then for me besides games what is my sanctuary probably cooking I'd love to cook and before I became obsessed with board games I was obsessed with cookbooks and and cooking and I still get cookbooks I just slow down a little bit but I love getting cookbooks I love leafing through them and I love thinking that I'm going to just cook so many things out of them and I cook like one dish but cooking makes me so so so happy I don't know why I just really find it totally enjoyable and it's like nice especially when something turns out nice and then you can share it with people like I know it sounds so cheesy but like it's really fun to share the food that you made you know yeah oh yeah so that's that's it that's it for Cinco de Mayo I wish I had made a special Cinco de Mayo crap in the mailbag but instead we just Cinco de Mayo okay so shall we begin with some real housewives of New York City sure let's do it yeah let's do it okay okay so oh my god this show hollary so fun so funny so many of my notes are just LOL ha ha ha LOL ha ha like I need to remind myself that I laughed yeah exactly I was like the entire time so I mean it starts off in this I'm already laughing because it's Bethany in her apartment and cookie is barking and she's like how can I help you out how can I help you out I was like oh gosh at the end of that scene she's like the dog still barking and she's like let me live okay like let me live seriously everyone with the dog understands that it's like a constant look of pity they need your pity all day so seriously death by cookie death by cookie let me live I was laughing even before this because as usual I noticed something new in the in the opening I've heard Ramona's tagline what five times now four five times that's still I never noticed that it was kind of like the opposite of the rain in Spain it's like like a coin win we gotta get better with twine get a thicker accent just for the beginning like we need people to understand this is in New York we can win win or I get better with toy my thing that I noticed this week was the way Derinda holds her Apple when they are all standing together during the interstitials like when it cuts to break and it shows like the whole lineup holding her apples Derinda has the most awkward high school yearbook pose going on I almost want to take a picture of it because she just hands there with her head cocked in a strange way with a strange smile like here I am holding an apple holding an apple come on back it up back it up back up the camera they should just have Derinda holding an apple martini seriously she'll be shouting everyone smiling and she's shouting at this camera alright you know what it's my fucking business if I want Dave John okay photographer so Bethanese opening scene I guess she's still not allowed to shoot with the kid because of her divorce so now instead of shooting for the kid we get to see her just talking about her kid while she packs for the kid yeah and it's already hilarious because you can imagine this baby Bethanese she's like this baby it's just like me like like she's just like me like I can't help it but you know like like she likes to pick things and you know she's very in control but I don't deal with terrorists so I said it pictures the clothes and then she can choose like here's your choice you can have this and this and this you know what I mean like so she started my choice she's already learned this like she's kind of difficult like sort of pack a purse for her like what should I do for her oh I love oh my god this little girl is gonna be fucking awful it is going to be like the worst or it'll be like it'll be like some demented version of curly suit that's what I think it's gonna be but she is it's funny because Bethan's like yeah Bryn does carry on now I mean she's just like me she does carry on now like literally she packs from her bag like literally kill me now like she knows how to do it back like like it's crazy like she likes to pack her one thing like she goes up the roller board little roller board little girl little exactly girl it's crazy like literally kill me now like literally if I was backing out the back of her I'll be on I'll be in the middle of her middle of her big rug okay and you know I'll be dead I'll be dead in the run that little kid is in school calling people alcoholics yeah like you have a problem like that's a serious problem yeah like I don't even don't say to you like like what could you you know why could somebody like who talks you to walk like like what's your whom to be passed like what do you have a problem like who does that like who puts in the past this kind of thing what's the matter what's the matter what's going on you know just classroom like what is doing renovations it's just because you know what education system is just a lot of money you just have where where's the paper I don't have paper and pencils like like literally like what's going on here like I gotta get it like what sort of school is this like new education like I'm getting graded with an animal like what is that an A is that a B I don't like I don't get it what's a butterfly like is that a B in my average like like who do you just say okay fine I'm average okay you know I get it I'm basically a little girl I get it okay like what do you play like red box through my answers like what what red box through my answers like what is that what is that who does that those are my answers like how do you like who does that like get your own answers like if you want your own answers like do your own tests like why are you taking my wedding in the sign your name bring to everything now like what do you what do you teach us like copycat like get your own life get your own test like like c-dick run like why am I reading this book like I don't get it like I don't care about it I don't care what dick and jean are doing like like who are they like what do they mean to me like are they like are they like lovers they're like friends like like I don't get this relationship they're just like run and go places and like talk like like I need more like I need more substance okay like it's just like I don't get it a little brim little brim the fucking nightmare yeah and and the funny thing is that Bethany is talking about her and she's like you know she's she's in the pink she's in the pink wheelhouse but she's not over the top I'm like she's not over the top her entire room is pink every single thing in that room is pink except for the what do you call those rugs those shag rugs she everything is pink which I which by the way she's got like a fucking coral reef that's pink yeah it's like I actually really my own I have a pet peeve I don't like one parents like hardcore code their children from birth like okay you're a little girl so you're gonna get a pink room and everything in it is pink and the girl grows up it's like I love pink you know it's like just like this makes me feel girly you know I just the same with like a boy like it has to be all blue like I for some I just it's a thing I'm sorry I'm sorry it's a little thing I don't like when the kids are programmed like that let them choose their own colors I don't even know if it's the kids doing it I have to say I mean I don't know if it's the parents doing it I think that there's something weirdly natural about little girls loving because I know two little girl nieces and those girls came out like no wanting to be because it used to be pink was the boy color and blue was blue was the girl color I believe I really yeah it changed like around world war one or something oh no wonder the world has gone so fucking crazy when when my gay friend had a baby with the lesbians and we had the baby shower we were planning it and we were like what should the colors be I said well it's a boy and this house is kind of a light blue color so why don't we just do like cream and light blue it'll look so nice and she's like you know I really don't want to imprint that on the baby because who knows what sex it's gonna be I said it's a boy and she said yeah but sex and gender are different so what gender is it gonna be and I was like how would you let the baby decide like you have to at least be you know old enough to talk besides you before you decide you're gonna become a woman like come on exactly and then and the thing is also like it's weird I mean I don't feel as strongly about it with boys and blue it's not me being sexist it's more just that like it's like reverse sexist because you know there's so many girls who I mean it's fine if you're a woman you like pink that's fine but I just feel like there are certain I sometimes I feel like girls just told you have to like this and then they're there for like it and I just I don't know I just feel like women are women already have or get socialized in so many ways that's like where they are on like the losing end of a situation that it's just like like I'm like I don't know I have these weird moments where I'm like don't do that I don't know meanwhile all our audience members make a stand for all women I know yeah just just what you need a gay man while you're like pissing off everybody who's ever supported exactly like exactly like all our listeners were like like pink I'm like shaming them all it's not that I'm shaming you like like you're paying it's just that sometimes I feel like you know all I'm saying is that the Susan Kamala foundation is sexist okay I'm sorry I'm sorry it's brown why there's breast cancer I have to like pink I'll just I'm just gonna stop myself because I think I think I'm not making a good case and I think I'm just making myself look like an entitled jackass instead I'm sorry no case made I mean girls do have pink I like it as a benchmark to know when somebody has claimed their own brain because there comes a point where girls like no I really don't want pink mom everything's fucking pink in here I want black and I want to grow my my nails really long and like stop trimming my nose hairs I mean I'm loving being seen now it was part of our childhood you know when they get their own mind when they're like I don't need your pink anymore mother we just want your children to be like little dairies that's all Daria Daria I'm a friend named Daria and I know I'm saying Daria Daria Daria where in the world is Daria who cares Ramona's missing too okay so okay so um okay so now we move up to Durinda Durinda having tapas with Carol thank you Bravo for whatever whatever meeting you guys had over there that you decided to just have normal overweight nice waiters I don't know what's happening over there but so many on these shows now like I haven't hated a waiter in months yeah well because I think the waiters are getting progressively more fearful of the of the of the people on Bravo it used to be that they want to have their big moment I have a note somewhere around here like this this waiter looks terrified I think it was when Bethany and Jules went to lunch and the waitress was like oh my god oh my god oh my god you know I'm not making any tips off this table they're both ordering sides yeah exactly um so Carol and Darinda are chatting and um what's funny is Carol is talking about how she lost her phone she's like yeah I lost my phone and there was a sexy pic of Adam as the screen saver uh which of course anyone who's listened to this podcast knows our role in that yeah we had no role except that somebody sent it to us and yeah we've got it saved on I sort of guide 10 different watch what crap is hard drives they're all over the place you will never get it from me so basically what happened was that one of our listeners found the phone and they I don't know if they ever gave it back whatever before they did they were like oh my god it's open and Carol even said that and they went through and they found a dick pic of Adam and sent it to us so when Carol said there was no dick notice that she said I did not save a dick pic as my screen saver it's like that's right she did not but there is a full nude photo and we have it but we never we never put that so um yeah but also who does this that's it was still a lot of a lot of questions how does she know it's not really that hard it's like he walks into a hotel bathroom it looks like a hotel lobby bathroom a trendy bathroom yeah he whips off his clothes and takes a picture in the bathroom mirror he does not trim his pubic hair at all it's like a big glorious fro yeah and I don't know it just he looks stinky like he doesn't take a bath I think it's a good bit trim his hair I think it's a good bit if it were to get leaked I don't think there's anything that he would be embarrassed for but we're not gonna be the ones that leak it though no I'm at the time we were even saying like this is so sad no one's even asking to see this picture and if anybody has published it which I'm sure they had because the person who sent it to us you know is connected so I'm sure that they were like anybody want to buy this and nobody did even if they printed it nobody even talked about it I felt so bad yeah so when Deronda goes someone got a nice pick I was like yeah that was us really ones we were the ones Deronda was talking about we got the nice they'll saved all over my computer like fucking weirdo pervert I'm not even looking at it like that it just feels like an artifact that is so watch what crap and I have to keep it forever you know the thing is this when you're a gay male if you've ever been on grinder you you know these sort of pics just sort of come through you know yeah if you have grinder you've already seen a lot of celebrity dicks it's actually true um we show them a lot and there's like a code like in general I think most people are respectful so anyway um so then well this is the kind of quilter I'm so sorry because this is rambling but just I have to say this because I haven't told anybody but we're right down the street in front of the Whole Foods there's this billboard and usually it's like HIV month you know it's like HIV prevention and it's all these gay guys of different colors supporting HIV prevention and this and that right now I just looked at the new billboard and it's something called squirt it's an app called squirt it's a fucking app for gay guys I was like you guys make up your mind are we preventing HIV or do we want everybody to fuck because I think that's the same place that um they had that billboard like grinder chlamydia yeah that kind of trouble or syphilis explosion remember syphilis explosion yes syphilis explosion it was a volcano and it said syphilis explosion and everyone driving by was like what the hell is going on and now it's like okay fuck each other again okay we've got two more months of indiscriminate fucking before we guilt you all into getting AIDS well there's this one app called vgl which started following me on twitter and they're basically like grinder except they're they're not even trying to to be like it's a way to to meet friends they if you go on their twitter feed it's all just like little gifts and videos of just like hardcore gay porn it's like they're like yeah go and like have sex and use our app to do it I was like oh jeez class it up gay people yeah so anyway speaking of classing it up so dorinda and carol are like are talking and they're talking about the brunch that jules had in the hamptons which did you ever get to do you ever watch that by the way yes I watched the end of it last night it was replaying okay good so they're talking about that and how it was so awkward and and carol's like wow I feel like we were big being girls at whatever and then they're talking and then carol is explaining how like she basically it was kind of funny carol's like can we just gossip which was sort of nice because normally she doesn't just full on do that so it's sort of funny that she's like listen we have to talk about that house that house is crazy that is a crazy house it's like it's been under construction and there's no equipment anywhere there's not even a piece of lumber and they're building like an indoor pool and it's just so huge and then I love dorinda's like well you know they have a ton of kids so you know they need a big house and carol's like they have two kids don't they just have two kids well they want you so like it will help a bunch of kids so that's one now when you're happy it's like there's different kinds of houses okay it's like you're kind of a house and then like you know like baffling as her kind of house like everybody has their own kind of house sometimes you take out your house cranny just draw a different house that's just the way the houses go and they were talking about how awkward it was and carol's like I was the only one who ate dorinda I ate well you too but like we are the only people who ate shamears well and john well maybe that's why it was awkward because john and Beth is eating now and she's like no john is not a panacea for every problem okay i'll tell you that right now john is not a panacea all right like someone got pregnant i must have done maybe john got someone pregnant look someone got run over in the streets probably john is that even the right use of panacea i think it's a panacea supposed to be the thing that isn't a panacea a cure for everything right i feel like it's um something you make bread in i that's i think you're just thinking of panera bread panacea panacea is like i think it's a it's just a cure for everything in which case she's right john is definitely not a panacea for every day is not i'm going to look it up right now you know me i'm always i'm always good for looking something up unless your illness is breathing too well while you sleep john's not the cure okay because like sleep with john and sleep right on top of you think you're going to die but why otherwise the panacea panacea is a solution or remedy for all difficulties or diseases no he is not the panacea he is definitely not the panacea i know what you're trying to say like you can't blame everything on him but but the thing was that she took this stance which by the way backs up Bethany's continued point that she's always trying to sell john because because all that carol said was well you know because Bethany and john there was awkwardness and during like now you can't blame it on john it's like actually this is something you really can this is like even if maybe he made you can even say sheriffs not his fault but yes the awkwardness was because of john because john and Bethany were there in the same room yes yeah and then she's very agrees you know what what i'm yelling at you i'm calling you john that's what you get now john hey hey you know what's very good about me is that i'm linear you know i'm linear so that it's like what does that have to do with anything i'm linear so you know you tell me one thing and then i move on that's what linear things do you know i move on i move forward i make a decision and decision on me was john's not a panacea all right tell your friends yeah tell your friends i'm in a linear panacea i'm drawing my panacea but it's only a one line because i've got a cray i've got cray i've got cray i've got a balloon yeah you know it's a balloon revolution like everybody on this show is just fucking nuts they have jewels come meet them jewels comes in and carol's like sorry about brunch i feel like we were rude mean girls she's like oh thank you for that because like it was weird but like this Bethany girl like i'm having a hard time getting a favorable impression of this girl because she's like what's wrong with her is she rude is she condescending is she abrupt i'm like yes yes to all of this yes well i was also i was just like laughing because carol was going in so much on jewels and their house and everything and then all of a sudden jewels just walks in i was like wait what jewel jewels is actually attending this lunch like the way she was talking was like okay now that we're away from jewels but she she was fully going in and then jewels just sit down with them i couldn't believe it but my favorite part was that when um jewels was impersonating but not that she was impersonating Bethany but she's like hey you know i would i would never go over to Bethany's small house and say what is this the center for ants i was like is that is that like your best that like your best she's just like Andrea from Melbourne hey your house is so small it's like the center for ants good one jewels why is everybody in your house carrying things that weigh like a hundred more times than they do it's crazy you know hey you know what i call this restaurant of food emporium get it because there's a supermarket called food emporium and absolutely i love that jewels his ditches are all about shit that she didn't do herself like yeah Bethany doesn't have you know Bethany's alone okay wow someone married you that's amazing Bethany is uh new money oh okay so you have your husband's old money like what are you bragging about when she well well it's funny she's like Bethany is new money we're old money i'm like wait wait excuse me Bethany is new money yes but i'm sorry maybe maybe your husband has old money but you are certainly not acting like old money i have not seen old money building a giant indoor swimming pool in the breakfast in the breakfast nook okay like you're not especially when you're constantly bragging about how Bethany your house is so much bigger than Bethany's that is not old money that is not an old money move oh i i'm literally saying i have old money like i have a dollar bill from when i was a kid in this fanny pack i used to work because i'm asian it's actually an asian it's actually an asian dollar it's an asian dollar i got it when i went to japan like Bethany like her people are going to say wow Bethany invented like a margarita that was already invented my people say we invented soy sauce so a good good one yeah and then dorinda's saying that jules and Bethany could be friends she's like hey if jules is willing to peel the onion there's a friendship there i'm like you know that there's nothing in the center of an onion you just peel and peel and peel and then it goes away right there's it makes you cry and it stinks it makes you cry and it leaves you with nothing it actually it's still an ingredient in every bravo show yes Bethany's everywhere but she just stinks and makes you cry and gives you stinky farts um this whole thing was cracking me up because jules is like terrified of Bethany but she keeps making all these comments that Bethany's gonna jump all over all over her for later like the new money and stuff and she's like i mean like i do want to talk to her but like you know like we're so different like she's new money i'm old money like she talks fast you know i i don't want to talk fast i want to talk slow you know like i i'm i'm smart i pretend i'm not smart so people think i'm stupid because like it's easier but like i don't want to like unleash my smartness on Bethany's what are you even talking about you fucking moron i guarantee this is what's going to happen at the reunion that Bethany's gonna say so you said you said you said new money and all money like you're not old money you're new money too well you know i was angry when i said all right so yo no okay fine yeah i'm over it okay okay great that's what's gonna happen every single one of these things Bethany will jump over and be like okay whatever i'm over it like i don't care like i let's totally get it down she was on watch what happens live and Andy was like so who do you think you know i forgot the question i think it was like who do you think is the biggest alky and all of your who do you think party's the most which is basically who do you think is the biggest alky and she's like oh well you know we all like to have fun and go to parties like okay thanks for coming by jewels yeah that means dorinda because otherwise she would have named everyone else so um so then we move over to Sonia Sonia is wearing her like pirate business lady outfit which is one of my favorites yes and she's there with an intern she's like oh my god a dog pooped a dog poop oh i hate when he gets on your fingers don't you hate that okay thing dog and then she goes to hug Ramona with a dog poop on her fingers exactly why so Ramona comes in she's like here my notarois of divorce papers must see my notarois of divorce papers here they are notarois have you ever gotten anything notarois before then Sonia trying to read it with her little squint she's like what is this sodomize what is that in your in your paper sodomize i guess Sonia we get it you like it up the but still okay and you own a business because you're in a business see meanwhile the poor intern is back there still smelling dog shit on her like record youter with a label on it she's like hey scan this in into computer number three using scanner number two okay oh they're both broken okay well what can you do okay i'll pickle still draw it out tell pickles to go pick up a projector we can put this on the wall so we can read it okay you know what these papers say they say Ramona you try your best but it's not going to work so stop sodomizing Mario while he's sleeping and get out of the house you're a new Ramona and then they stamped it Ramona new you know it's like it's backwards but that's how they do it now because it's new you know what these papers say they say you're renewed and now it's notarois i'm notarois and renewed i've got a witness to my renewal okay i'm sorry get that just get that to the new intern to facts okay Ramona like we call her paper weight you know like she's got a weight problem but she also likes to eat paper like it's crazy so um so Ramona and Sonia are chatting and Sonia starts off with like the well you know i couldn't go to Bethany's this weekend because i had to pick up my daughter and then Ramona's like oh well you know the reason that you couldn't was because you weren't invited let's just call spade a spade okay okay and so he's like oh she's like yeah well you know you drink too much and Bethany said you'll make a scene so i'm sorry i'm sorry you drink too much i love someone yeah she's like i wasn't invited she didn't know there were formal invitations i wasn't invited no one told me i wasn't invited what kind of interns do i have they don't tell me what i'm not invited to this i know and so then Ramona starts up with like this intervention she's like you know you drink too much i've seen you have to be plopped up okay and it's difficult and i'm single now and you know i wasn't totally truthful with you you know i really didn't want to have this conversation because i wasn't totally truthful with you the reason why distance myself is because you know i'm single now i'm trying to get out there and you know you know you know your friends you you're making first impression and whoever you hang out with this is what people think of you and so i just couldn't be around you and then it's like this bitch over here i've spent 15 years happy to explain why i'm friends with you and now you're embarrassed of me i love that new york is taking every dramatic plot line and just redoing it as a comedy because this was the best intervention i've ever seen in my life i feel that you're a drunk and like it's disgusting because like i had to pick you up off the floor like i had to hold you up like people are like gross and i'm single now and people judge you by like who you keep company with and so i go and like i keep company with the Rolex now like because i want people to think like i'm new and golden and classic okay you're like throwing up on the floor and so he doesn't even care she's like whatever like we all fall down so what well the funny thing was that the entire time the music was not even this serious music it was like it had a peppy beat and had like a vibraphone player like dude who was like i think you drink too much i think you have a problem i think you got to cut it i think you got to cut back and was like dude i've had to hold you up before was it pills drink mixing with pills is it drinks and pills is it cocaine is it harrowing and she's like yes but like everybody does it like no no what they don't like i'm telling you because i'd like really care about you and so i have to tell you right now you're a drunk and she's like whatever Ramona sometimes i'm drunk sometimes i'm not like if you want to come get fucked up then come get fucked up if you don't don't well i'm telling you right now i don't okay because you have a problem and then and then Sonia is just like well listen you know what uh luens moving in everyone's oh boy oh boy i just love that luen now has just become such like a sloppy mess to these women you know you used to be way back when the when was the classes them all and now she's actually she's the one who they're they don't even try to fix it just like whatever she is just a sloppy mess i'll come in five in the morning she leaves they're like she's gonna leave bottles all around she leave bottles all around semen on the floor you know you got to be careful around the way she's just like a sloven mess now and they but they're like but you can hold it like that i love that this is going to be a storyline luen living with Sonia this is the best thing that's ever happened on this show exactly and then finally this intervention ends with everyone's like you know what just cool it just cool it all right i'll cool it okay all right sounds good okay moving on good talk okay i know uh so next is carolyn adam i literally got up the chapter vegetable i was like i'm not watching this scene oh my god adam is an Ethiopia filming like doctors without borders oh my god is that he's an Ethiopia instead of me yeah but you know i understand like there's four more summers and then i'll be dead he just has a thing for starving people that's all whether it's near Ethiopia i don't want to take selfies anymore now i just take it with homeless people you know protesting wall street you know i'm a hippie at home hippie at home i never thought i would be jealous i'd be pining for the days when he was merely a nikara well harvesting honey but now he's an Ethiopia oh god it's so pretentious while the storyline is people who are too skinny yeah exactly that's the best speaking of which uh we have a skinny summit as jewels and Bethany go to lunch this is where the waitress this is where the waitress looked the most scary she's like oh no oh no Bethany frankle yes so they go to lunch and jewels like what is what's the deal with every place having a kale salad like even my favorite even my favorite chinese restaurant in dishy you ever go this my favorite Asian restaurant it really speaks me because i'm Asian you know even they have a kale salad like what's up with that Bethany laughing in her face she's like oh god agent okay okay like there you go okay i'll laugh at that and then Bethany trying to over order to prove that she eats yeah like okay you know what i'll have an avocado on the side you know what also i'll do the kale salad okay because like i can have kale and avocado like i'm gonna go crazy it's gonna be nuts okay oh thing thing so then um jewels is trying to confront Bethany but jewels jewels is actually very much like me which is she's uneasy with confrontation and therefore starts talking in an indirect tangental way with stutters and stammers you say well i just kind of feel like you know something weird you know like you came in and then like i don't know you're talking and like i don't know like i've just been like it's a branch they were bagels and there's a schmear and you didn't have a schmear and then there was like Jonathan's there and then like you know like you know the same thing about the house and then and then he's like what are you trying to say huh what do you say what do you say what do you say you don't have to be just like like what you want me to send you some choices of some things to say okay open your eye photo i've written down three things to say just choose one you know just choose one i don't speak charades like like what are you doing i don't speak scrabble you know like mix the letters make words and say them say the words she's like well you know i just feel like then that's when she's like okay so you feel like i'm abrasive and i was rude and i was a mean girl and i came in too quick and left too quickly and i made fun of your house and i'm a bitch that okay sure she's like yeah yeah just what you just say you're right you're right you know you said that very well she full on maricio uh she she full on maricio jules is kameel how sad that we're gonna be celebrating somebody else's yeah we're about the same day that we hear about our friends uh so upsetting i know oh don't worry kameel i'll just take this sentence from here Bethany i'm like the lawyer okay i'm like jules's lawyer in the case against Bethany frankle like i'm arguing against myself like like you're rude you're abrasive like there there i can take that you know like like guilty there i'm guilty like i'm charged i'm guilty i'm going to jail like what am i gonna do yeah so then out of nowhere jules opens up about the fact that she had a meaning disorder in college she's like yeah i had it all anything you guessed it throw up don't eat do whatever like i had it all and yeah that's me being all sensitive what did you throw up like did you throw up did you not eat was a fingernail did you give yourself a tapeworm you ever do that like there are new girls who would like swallow tapeworms like you look like them did you do that did you throw up the tapeworm they would literally they would not only swallow actual tapeworms but they would actually make tape in the shape of a worm and eat that to make sure they could throw up also like literally it's great it would like glue the pieces of toast together in this stomach and then like they couldn't even throw it up it would like become a big blockade and you know girls thought like that you're not dead so you know good feel so then Bethany starts crying which is like you know my mother you know i was like it's like egg shells around my mother you know and then like jules is crying and they're both crying and they're bonding it was actually a nice scene a nice moment and they're like they're really like getting deep and they start telling us you know Bethany's like i really respect it for telling me that i really respect that some girls will never admit it some girls will never say it but she really admitted to me and then jules is like you know i really felt like i could bond with it and like i feel like if i understood i was really wonderful and like yeah yeah we're bonding we're bonding and then she's like jules like so what kind of guys do you like like you're gonna follow that up you're gonna follow up eating disorder with hey i met a greek air that you would like yeah because of feta cheese i love that it all ended with a feta joke like all this eating disorder she's like well i like feta cheese good good guys i'm worried for jules though because first of all Bethany what a hypocrite it's like some girls they'd never talk about that but you know like this girl she talked about it like i would never say it because like that's not my secret to share really because you've been talking about when anorexic she is and how she's sick and you're gonna confront her about an illness like thanks for noticing that you're a complete asshole and we're gonna do that this is not my secret to tell meanwhile the conversations have on tv you know and i'm also worried for jules because Bethany hates her mother and Bethany's mother hates her and Bethany's like i totally get it because my mom like we'd go to parties and i'd like have to like run to the guest bathroom to make sure my mom didn't quote you know we clocked it up with all our bots like it was disgusting like i totally get it jules like wow what a bonding moment so now every time she looks at jules she's gonna be like running to the bathroom to make certain oh my god well that's actually probably the reason that's actually probably the reason why she had such a negative reaction to jules at first because it probably reminded her of a mother so you know and of course it's also because jules is kind of annoying too i'm fucking obnoxious she's like my mother looked fanny packs too it's all coming together now hey you know what they call fanny packs bags for your waist huh right get it nice bag for your waist what is this the center for ants this is the center for ants with your small house hey hey ants you're looking for some place to go meet up and watch movies and stuff why don't you go to Bethany's house it's big enough for you huh get it center for ants center for ants won't come to my house because we haven't into a pool and they're afraid to drown hey we're like the stadium fans you know what i'm saying we have old money ants they like take the time to build the castles you know we actually have five ant hills in the pool we have we have some old-school ants carrying some watermelon into the house from the garage i swear to you it took seven years like this so old money ants okay so um then the next scene carol i love this because the scene opens up with Bethany and Ramona like fixing some salad and sitting on a table and immediately Bethany's like what's the matter the table what's up with the table it's like it's like i'm not on a ride it's like it's like a roller coaster like literally like i want to get a throw like where's the safety bar like what what i hold on to like like what's going on like is the scramble like i don't like i don't get it like i don't get what's going on like i feel like i'm on a ride but i'm like not moving like what's going on this is like if it's in amusement park i'm not feeling amused you know i'm saying like i like literally like if i have to ask another question about this ride like my walls my wall is up literally my wall is up like literally like kill me now like i hope this ride goes off the rails because i'm about to die like six flags what am i supposed to eat uh lunge at this table like this table's ridiculous like like the lunge is going to slide to the end of this table i'm not going to be able to eat it's jul's coming because it's like a perfect table to jul this is like a sonya table okay it's on his last leg that was the best yeah it's his last leg it's one like it's like literally like six slides red adventure this is this is not a great adventure this is like a terrible adventure this is like the worst adventure but like six it's more like more like one flag and that's what the table's on one flag like one flag ball literally kill me now like literally like i don't get it like i don't get also a table is this oh and then carol comes late of course like sorry i was late yeah it took a long time to walk up the stairs from the taxi so yep she's on cpc time carol people time okay oh like so um this is one of my favorite parts of the episode was learning um about the uh the recent Bethany luan beef so Bethany was mad has been annoyed at luan because over the summer she's like my friend kyle came to visit i was like kyle and then she was like oh yeah kyle and when on real house was at Beverly Hills when kyle and the whole gang went over to Bethany's house you know during the hampton strip the famous hampton strip which we saw in real house was at Beverly Hills luan wanted to be there she totally wanted to be on real house was at Beverly Hills and she wanted to you know be on the cameras and everything and Bethany kind of was like no and she had this whole thing of like wow it's not my party like i can't invite you it's not my party of course Bethany could have invited her but she didn't want to you know hey yeah but i love this because i think this is the first time we ever had an official crossover like official like episode crossover right like we've had people we've had people from the shows crossover like brandy came on New York City wants we've had and obviously Bethany was on was on Beverly Hills but this is the first time where something happened on a different show that is directly affecting this show yeah i think it is it was sad Bethany's such a bitch why wouldn't you let her come maybe she just felt like she would have to invite everybody yeah but still luan is like begging to come she's like no not my party can't come can't come and then she was telling me things like don't be all uncool you know like whatever with that like you didn't invent the word cool okay you can't come i can't even imagine luan and lisa van der pump like it doesn't seem to match in my world doesn't work you know i think they like each other they probably do but it's just it's funny because they're just in such different spheres in my in my brain that i just can't imagine i just can't imagine the crossover i think van der pump would really like her we should be like you naughty girl yeah you had sex with three men in the restroom you naughty girl she probably would be it's funny because there was a time when i would have thought that luan would have been maybe even like above uh van der pump in terms of classiness but now i feel like actually luan is like below like way below yeah luan is doing that empty nest syndrome thing it's like the woman version of the midlife crisis where she's like i'm gonna fuck everything heck you go girl yeah so then we went on to Ramona's birthday lunch okay okay okay okay okay she has a birthday lunch and all of Ramona's friends were there including the lysm and lady who looks like the woman for my synagogue um and when Bethany showed up Bethany showed up first and it was it was actually i was cracking up she's like who are these women it's like it's like you know they were like frozen after last year's birthday party they they never left it's like they were put in the freezer and they opened the freezer now they're here again and they showed like footage from last year and this year and she was so right and they were circling her the little fame horrors that they are they're so i love your hair i love your hair i love your hair oh thank you i love my hair wow that was cracking up i love when Ramona came up to her she's like oh here yeah i at my birthday oh my god i was gonna wear a black pantsuit today she's like it's purple Ramona yeah that's what i meant are you colorblind well just because i'm so excited okay okay okay it's Ramona purple and then um everyone for some reason was wearing red and Ramona's like everyone's wearing red i thought that was my color like Ramona your color is Ramona blue you can't take red also you can't have Ramona red and Ramona blue it's take one and you've already chosen that was before i got pig's butt thrown on me in high school okay okay didn't you see my sitcom okay i thought red was blue because i was nervous at this time you know that's how i saw it okay i go hot and cold that's why i thought that's why i thought purple is my color too because red and blue make purple okay i'm sorry that's what colors work i'm sorry and of course Sonia right after this intervention meeting walks into the birthday party of the person who gave her the intervention and she's like hi it's me sorry and later had a big night last night do i have semen in my face oh you know big night big night am i getting cataracts or is that just sperm anybody anybody she looked like an eyelash on her she's like is it an eyelash or is it something else because i have a big night last night i know and i love she's like oh i love her hair she says the Bethany i love your hair your hair looks great i love it i'm like her hair was like that at the reunion you've seen it before you crazy lady Sonia isn't crazy lady she is and i believe that she just woke up in the back of an uber you know i do believe that coming in here so then um and then later on then louan walks in and i love louan walking in and she just says she's just everyone she's like how are you how are you how are you i'm like talking to all the waiters just like talking to a plant like well maybe the waiters will appreciate a good hula hoop yeah louan used to make a great entrance but now her entrances are just sort of sad how are you how are you uh i'm sorry i'm just i'm just the mailman just dropped off some mail i'm leaving now oh by the way Bethany i have a gift for you okay it's tap shoes let me show you how to use them jesus sit down louan so this there's there's a gifting situation which looks like it's going to flare up next week so louan gives Ramona a necklace for her birthday and uh it's a necklace from her collection it's from her collection and as Ramona describes it louan had already given it to her and then it was broken so louan got it fixed and was giving it back to her now meanwhile she pulls out this beautiful bag for Bethany that has like her like her name her initials on it etc that she didn't get to give to Bethany at her birthday so she gives it to her now and lemme was like well you know i gotta give her Bethany i gotta give her Ramona it's no big deal and Bethany is like feeling awkward because it's not her party everyone is like you gave me this crappy necklace it's and you re-gifted me you this isn't even a gift it's just you fixed something you give it back to me it's it's a re-gift my own birthday even a gift the first time okay this is like you know Bethany like emptying out a bottle of skinny girl and then putting more skinny girl in it and putting the top back on and giving it to me like it never was a gift in the first place okay yeah so Ramona is like so of course you know the best way that Bethany knows how to say thank you for a gift is in fighting with you you know like that's her way of saying thank you well you know i feel like it's awkward because you like gave me this purse but like you've been so weird like like now it's a purse but then you you know before you would like beg me to come to this party and like who are you to attack me and like say i'm all uncool like who does that like what are you talking about like who are you i know and poor sad louan i mean she's so desperate to do this she's like well you know you're like family now like you came to the house and Bethany wants i give you the house once like let me go i'm not family you know what i you know i think about family i hate my family okay so well you're perfect me okay yeah so you met noelle you just mean so much to me i'm like louan don't do this you don't have to do this this is below this beneath your character louan you don't have to do this well poor louan because they're icing her out everybody's eyes throughout the season and you can tell you're dead like that's what happened to christian so she's seeing you know this woman like she has her house in the haptons which is smaller now she doesn't have an apartment she's at this point not rich and fabulous and everyone's lysing her out and trying to get her kicked off the show and she's just like please Bethany please we've known each other don't kick me off the show i mean i don't even know what to do like this is the way i said about all that stuff happened so long ago that you're mad about like you got mad about the kyle thing a long time ago we've seen each other you come to my house you've come to my parties right you you peed in my tour with it after that like how could you it's like oh what what i barely even saw you like like so what and meanwhile in the middle of this you know the editors are like the editors on these shows are so sly and hilarious they cut to jewels talking to different don't be like you know the thing about Bethany is that she's actually very warm i really couldn't believe how warm she has cut to Bethany be like get off my jock louan okay you're not a real friend you're a snake you're a motherfucker like i literally can't deal with you like like don't give me a gift you know look she literally she gets she makes louan cry because louan is basically like the subjects really is like uh i know that um i made you mad of the summer but please still be my friend because i have no one and i don't want to be kicked off the show and i know i'm fighting with your best friend and i still please don't be mad at me please please please please and i'm lonely and i'm homeless i'm living out of Bethany i was alone okay i'm alone i'm fragile okay i don't have an apartment i just you know the whole feeling about kyls was i just felt loved out i felt so bad for her i felt like i was honest i actually feel like that was an honest moment because i think louan often has fomo and i think that she is too proud to say it and this is one of the times where she really was articulating it and i'm sure actually a lot of her issues with carol stem from jealousy of her relationship with Bethany i would not be surprised and don't do with Jill's errand to me i mean Lisa Vanderpump didn't let Jill's errand into her party in the house it's like please don't put me on the same level as a sarin please don't i think that's all of those and even Bethany was like wow i've never seen her cry i may think i'll describe like this new i've never seen you up before it's like it's like crazy it's like well like seriously like oh my god like literally like my wasp like like don't don't offer me tears or hummus like i can't like literally just touch that's but that's how to win Bethany like you cry you admit you're a bulimic or whatever and then suddenly she likes you again she's like you see that it's like they said in Beverly Hills like it would make us like you if we knew that you got beaten by your boyfriend it's like jesus god you guys can you find any like similar hobbies like we need to know your pain i mean Bethany is she is such a piece of work and for some reason i'm just like loving her more more i don't get it she's such an asshole but she is a hilarious asshole she's most of the women on the show they're awful they're awful to each other god damn they're funny they are promoting mad that everyone's in red because then dorinda shows up she's like hi hi so dorinda gets up there so dorinda the dorinda is such a bitch so she's she comes up i don't remember what happens first was the toast first or was her moment about john first i think it was her moment about john because they were talking about it was lou and dorinda and sonya and lou and it's like well she's got the riot act after giving somebody expensive purse yeah and then sonya's like how about you how's how are you and john doing are you guys how is everything going with you and she's like well you know and then as she starts talking about john rimono happens to walk over and dorinda's like you know a lot of people have a lot of opinions about john and i think that they're just jealous and they should keep their mother fucking mouth closed okay they just back it up about john okay you're like you know what you're jealous you're unhappy in your life and that's what it is that's what i think about certain people and rimono's like all right message received i got the message okay take us on so rimono just like walks away and dorinda's toast was amazing so all right ding ding ding hi everybody i just wanted to give a shout so i'm gonna say rimono has been rimono has been a girlfriend for years okay you know it's like my husband passed away a day before birthday rimono is like oh my god he passed away yesterday i totally forgot that explains the red balloon i saw i popped it i feel so bad now i know we're all wearing red we're like all wearing Richard more dorinda's like i see my husband floating past me all these red dresses like he's everywhere my husband died and like i wouldn't come out of bed and rimono called me and she was like get out of bed like your husband said there's nothing you can do like maybe there will be single-minute this women's party you know so like i just want to say rimono thank you for use to being my good friend and you know we need to cherish our friendships with girlfriends because true girlfriends are loyal and protective all right so here's to the ladies who want sure here's the ladies who want you better back it up here's the ladies who back it up back it up everybody left why don't ladies wear hats anymore why don't ladies wear hats anymore here's little ladies who want some women jon for all the ladies who want you know people have lunch in this john's fault you know sorry just not the panakata lunch okay stop it jon not the panakata lunch hey it's not the panakale of lunch okay it's john john's here's to the john's who do laundry yes to the crayons wins chaos here's to the panists he is um dorinda and then i love that dorinda thinks she's so slow she's like i was trying to send rimono message we got back you think you're think by the way just you heard it who doesn't like sontamps is that is that sondheim is that yeah i guess it's always on it what's it from um that it's from foley's oh that here's the ladies who lunch yeah here's to the cast crayons here's to the red balloons oh here's to the lighting one then here's to the women who grew up you know in birches but like neighbors but like sisters the birches here's little ladies who eat breakfast and all right i mean who eats breakfast anymore like i want to get eggs with no ladies in the diner like where are they what the times have changed here's to the house you know i got my house and you've got your type of house you've got your type of house is i like to make a choice to rimono rimono this time of year is busy family obligations holiday parties travel relaxation might fall to the bottom of your priority list you guys you need to take time to relax and you need to be somewhere where there's soft white sand healing crystal blue water cloudless skies we know where that place is aruba shake off any cold weather blues and enjoy the islands invigorating sunshine aruba has the most sunny days anywhere in the Caribbean i promise you this trip is going to be at least 10 times better than the trip to errand's hamptons home on real housewives of new york but that doesn't take much i mean it doesn't even compare aruba is a geeky gorgeous please always use aruba over errand's home we know you can't stay on vacation forever but a trip to aruba it honestly it just never ends because the happiness and relaxation you feel in your bones it just stays with you book your trip today at aruba.com listen weight loss drugs and glp ones are all anybody's talking about right now they're everywhere but it's confusing to figure out how to get them but it doesn't have to be through hymns and hers you can get access to a budget-friendly weight loss program personalized just for you hymns and hers connects you with a medical provider who will work with you to determine your best treatment option and it prescribes you get the medication as part of 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can have a sandwich do i have a sandwich you got a sandwich okay do whatever you do you want to sandwich just making you sandwich you don't want to have a sandwich don't have a sandwich okay you can leave the lunch at any time okay yes to the ladies who likes sandwiches that ends a week of New York and next week it just gets better and it just looks like it's getting better and better uh one of it's it honestly someone should just take every single season of this show and put it in the library of congress and save it for future generations because it's perfection perfection well you know what else is perfection being what my mother ah ronda karum is perfection oh yeah and um it's a good time to be thinking about that because mother's day is in like one second okay this releases on thursday and mother's day is in literally a second if you call us yeah today is Cinco de Mayo okay and mother's day is on May 8th okay okay okay so this sneaks up on you every year but you still got enough time order your mother the best flowers of her life i did it yeah they're from books dot com books and some bouquets b-o-u-q-s flowers are in a word gorgeous darling they're super gorgeous and of course you know the thing that we love the most about them they are grown on eco-friendly farms on the side of a volcano the blooms are larger the colors are more vibrant and by the way the volcano has better soil and there's more sun because it's like 10,000 feet up in the air or something like that so it's got more sun and vibrancy and you know yeah and they're cut to order so they're not going to be all rancid by the time they get there like some of those nasty grocery store flowers do not get your mother flowers from Ralph's do her a favor okay she pushed you out even if she got cut open she saw us a smiley face on her stomach because of you get her some real volcano flowers okay fucker exactly because because the because the books the flowers and the books really do say thanks mom for all you do yep books dot com go to day b-o-u-q-s dot com your mother knows second rate flowers okay this price has started a mere 40 bucks there's no upcharges no extra fees and even delivery is absolutely free when you register with the books listeners of our show save 20% off the bouquet of your choice just go to bix dot com and enter promo code watch that's b-o-u-q-s dot com promo code watch bix dot com promo cod watch yeah you can be like nanshaz who uh it's one of our twitter followers and she tweeted us that she she goes i buked at my mama thanks for the code and the reminder well thank you nan thank you ba mama are you nanshaz or nanshay like the french word i guess we'll find out in the future she's she's nanshaz are you 10 comments berry tell us the truth nan hoe over there i just learned that slang by the way which is 15 years old nan hoe nan hoe nan hoe nan hoe it's from a trick daddy's it's like a trina it's like a trick daddy's song and trina what is nan hoe it's like a miami slang like you're basically saying like that hoe over there you're like that nan hoe over there you say my god i feel like i'm talking to Heather you're so culturally aware i'm so culturally aware of miami slang from 2001 oh i wanted to mention because i really don't have a whole lot to say about belodex sorry but um i wanted to mention that since i was watching the shows live last night on the actual brabs i watched there goes the motherhood watched it we how was it we are not covering down on the show but i was just watching it to give it another chance because when ben and i first turned it on it was just children screaming and we couldn't do it then it's actually really a funny show it's so good it's kind of like housewives but they're younger obviously and they're all young moms and the best part is that instead of doing like the china waxing segments or here's the part where i'm trying to teach my daughter how to drive instead they have children and man kids are so hilarious they're like little retard you don't know anything but just like these little blakes like walking around with uh buggers coming out their nose bumping into walls and these women think they have it so all together because they're a mom and i'm going to raise my baby different i'm not going to become my mother but they're becoming their mothers and they're you can't control a child they don't care what you think well i mean it's good i'm still not sold i'll check it out because if you say it's good i trust it but we like we can't cover all these shows like because we have tour group also and well we'll talk about it next time but i would much rather cover this than below deck because below deck it's just a rut it's just an exact copy of the last one i like the last one well i know but like how many times do i like i'm literally white people on a boat on the thing i don't know watch it and see because this one the characters you can actually get behind and watching people raise children is hilarious it's not hilarious to me it's like a horror movie to me but i'm shocked that i liked it i'm shocked i'll watch it i'll watch it and liking it like this neurotic lady goes on a date the divorced one she she's like well i haven't dated it i didn't really love my husband he didn't really love me so like he left but you know like now i got a date like she's so negative and it's hilarious watching her go on a date so here's the other one trying not to become her mother but she's awful and she has to say skinny for her husband or he'll leave her i mean there's some good shit in this show so i'm like concerned now because you like you like this show i like below deck uh mediterranean and you know toward tour group is coming back and we both actually like tour group when it was on earlier so like there's like a lot of stuff to cover and i don't know i don't know how we're gonna do it maybe she's asked the audience yeah let us know right on our facebook page we have to cover all of them but just i would choose either of the ones you just mentioned over below deck i can't believe that below deck i was like fully entertained you were okay well let's talk about below deck well okay well we'll talk about because we both watched it um why don't we just go through the characters i have the cast in front of me and we'll just talk about the characters and we'll talk about the things that they did we won't we won't go in we won't go too far in depth because it's the standard thing of like meeting the new meeting the new crew members getting on the boat there are some really annoying uh guests we can talk we can start actually with the charter the charter guests which are it's like these two couples i think uh with this one girl who has a skincare line and she's beautiful sort of j-low meets Ariana grande type of girl who's high maintenance who's got a who's got like a bunch of putzes around her who yeah pretty much they all they they're big requests that they have to see a Steelers game because this one guy has never missed a Steelers game his whole life and like well why did you book a yacht trip in the middle of the fall season how about that you know because people think that magical things can be done with money like you can suddenly get like they'll complain baseball for you in the middle of the ocean no it doesn't work like that okay yell at satellites well obviously the allure of being famous outranked the allure of keeping your Steelers thing alive and i i occurred to me if if ever you get an email from a producer of bravo that says congratulations you know we'd love to have you be um you know on below deck as a guest sure you're getting to be on tv and you get a like a free yacht ride but remember that you're being chosen because you're an asshole every single time if you're if you are if you are selected to be on below deck as a charter guest it's because people think you're an asshole and they know that you'll be an asshole on tv but people like this don't even care if they're assholes and they don't care they think if you think they're in assholes because you're fat like these people do push ups on the boat railings okay this is that kind of people they're like oh she pushed you from the boat railings like wow she's fat yeah she's fat oh fuck off i hope you'll drown she's like i want to have can you like make sure that dessert uses um the flavors from my skincare line i'm like stop trying to like use below deck to promote your skincare line no one no one no one cares no one even knows what it is because you didn't even mention its name or you're too stupid to uh to remember to wear the logo on your t-shirt you know also you look suspiciously like chucky the horror doll like i don't know what you're trying to sell but your face is horrifying okay stop cutting it i hate when people are like cutting up their face every week they have a cutting disorder on their face and then they're like it's my moisturizer it's coconut oil no it's not it's like fucking kindergarten scissors and some scotch tape get yourself together stop trying to sell me facial products okay uh okay so uh first we have a new captain this is captain mark howard who is sort of like jk simmons a little bit um jk simmons meets um oh that one character actor who i'm blanking on and i can't remember what he's in but i recognize him if i saw him so not very helpful you know you know it is it's like i remember on sinefeld george had that co-worker who is the one when when remember when george tried to nickname himself and it's all start calling him co-co no i'm filming the co-worker and anyway so this captain i keep on getting distracted i think this guy looks like the boss from mary tyler moor oh and asner yeah asner meets jk simmons yeah he has this like nose hair that is like pouring out and i just want to trim it so i mean i don't want to physically trim it i want him to trim it but it's like i kept i could not stop staring at his nose hair it's very disturbing for me i liked him it he seems really funny like he seems like he's gonna be funny because he's a weirdo but yeah i already miss the other captain that's rules buddy thank you yeah yeah captain lee i like i like crusty captain lee but this captain looks like he'll be you know he'll be goofy and and you know serious at the same time you know then we have ben robin sin who's back chef ben and he's here to challenge his guest palettes uh yeah challenge my cast palettes because you know like ground beef with cheese on top you know what i'm saying bye bye baby that's moussaka it's not it's not ground beef with cheese you have to sell it that's lamb lamb with our credit ladies on the boat right hey i don't envy me uh yes i do i envy myself uh so i mean ben's ben i mean his whole thing was um these people are like clearly health conscious and he may first make some fried cheese and then he makes a moussaka that does look really hell uh like heavy and greasy and i'm sorry i don't think i don't think if she had said it was ground lamb with like a and i plant with some cheese whatever i don't think they would have eaten it anymore i think it looked after appetizer of heavy fried cheese then to have another thing with big melty cheese on it no well i'm funny hard to believe that this chick is has been a head stew for so long be or chief stew for so long because any no one would announce dinner like that i mean i know i'm a waiter and everything so i know how to do it but that's not how you sell dinner you have to go up and say this is moussaka at the traditional greece dish when in greece it's made with ground lamb fresh farm cheese and you know blah blah blah and then they think they're eating something fancy but they were like what is this she's like um i don't know i think it's ground beef with some cheese on top okay enjoy the i know joy and how has she been in the Mediterranean for so long she doesn't know what moussaka is it's like one of the most famous greek dishes there is yeah i'm not sure about her i like that she seems nice but then you see scenes from the season and she's kind of awful she's kind of like mary poppins the cheese stew yeah well yeah she's like mary poppins the cheese stew well the funny thing also by the way about them about them about the moussaka is that Ben was like you know i like to eat a lot but if i'm in greece i want to i want to have some moussaka when in greece i'm like yes that makes sense if i were in greece and i walked into a small tavirana and i said oh i'm gonna have some moussaka but if i'm on a yacht with a british chef it's not the same thing to get moussaka it doesn't make it more special you know what i'm saying yeah that looked like a lumpy frito pie let's be honest i mean if you're gonna cook that for all those rich people who are skinny and you know they're all about fitness then at least make a cucumber salad with some mint in it i mean how fucking hard is that i know exactly get some dulmatas grape leaves whatever in the dulmatas hell yeah dulmatas which is funny this is like the second time we've talked about dulmatas on the podcast i'm surprised that's it because i love that shit i'm always searching for the perfect dulmat that could be a new bravo show you could be you could be a special guest on off the menu going on he seemed nice at first but god he got me with those dulmatas from sprouts he's like cut to me yelling no one puts raisins and dulmates like having a ship it i'm telling you the dulmatas at carousel and these solidwood are delicious oh yeah but i ain't paying like full restaurant retail price for dulmatas i mean they're for grape leaves wrapped around rice but they're so but theirs are so good if you tell them prices oh yeah real unfair facts amazing okay so anyway so hannah why don't we talk about we started talking about hannah while we get into her she is the the this australian chief stew who looks like um jennifer lorance and yeah she's she's like the bossy one and she's gonna be she's gonna be running a tight ship and she's never been on such a gaudy yacht before which is true the yacht was disgusting where do they get these i feel like robert goulais estate has been selling yachts to bravo and of course by the way the charter guess is like i love it oh my god you know what like the blue counter the blue marble counter matches my skin cream oh my god it matches the cheap filler in your face you tacky slat like get that thing filled with some rubber like everybody else who are you yeah seriously um so we have hannah who is is is the chief stew we have uh bobby who is uh like the tall the tall hot um oh bobby i love when a man is like about to be x-hot you know like when guys are running there it's like that milk that expires tomorrow but it's a dollar off so you buy it anyway and then you've got like a jug of half expired milk yeah you're afraid sure why did i buy this that's the guy yeah he is um he's tall he's goofy um he has some ridiculous story about how he loved ghostbusters so much that he wanted to become a fireman so then he became a fireman and now he's on a yacht like it didn't make any sense yeah he's he's an idiot yeah i couldn't but he's hot and then we have brian brian is he's not the bosen but he's like bosen on deck and i kept getting distracted because during his confessionals he had like lipstick on it was like whoever was doing the makeup went awry with the lipstick and i just could not stop looking at his pink lipstick yeah well what was he supposed to be because he had another job right and the captain was like well i'm gonna make you the chief bloody blob the bosen blah blah he's like yeah thank you sir i'll give it my best shot i can't wait to impress you all whatever whatever i like your accent the span that your accent just went on right there i'm trying to remember him that's that's how he blamed these people where i was like what did he even do i just remember him being a little too anal but that's the way the show is it's always sort of like bland but but then they go crazy over the course of the season that's the fun of it so anyway um yeah his whole thing is basically he's just he is you know our Alex Peking he's just um do the you know follow the rules do this do that and get the shit done and blah blah blah i don't want to be a dick yeah and then you have danny who is the other um he's the other deckhand and he pretty much spent the entire episode being like wow you're so tall whoa you're so tall whoa i have to like wait in line to get in the room because you're so big whoa you're tall everyone's so tall yeah he's like a little over eager guy um who has a lot of sisters and so he wants to please the women which is kind of funny because i my first note about him was um immediate hate but then he seemed very nice later he actually did seem nice because he um so he had to wake up at 6 a.m with jenn who's the who's the other deckhand uh jenn is uh a lesbian and she like will not stop making corny jokes about being a lesbian it's like hey jenn can you wash that i'll tell you what i'll wash some woman's vagina with my mouth yeah i think she's kneeling out of the closet i remember when i came out of the closet i would almost do it on purpose like say things on purpose just so i didn't have to deal with people going you're gay yes you don't want to have that conversation so it's like well oh you know you just made dumb jokes like that and she was making them the whole time like do you think anyone's cute she's like yeah everybody and then there's the guys like okay we get it dykstra yeah congratulations you enjoy vaginas here's your medal so jenn it turns out is like kind of awful because she she basically slept in she's supposed to be up at 6 a.m also she shows up at like 6 45 in the morning danny has been cleaning everything uh and he's behind because she didn't show up and then she's like yeah when uh brian shows up just say that i was like just lie just lie and he's like well i don't want to lie and she's like no i just lie he's like well what am i gonna do when he asked me why is everything why isn't everything done she's like just lie man so then you know brian is like hey so you need to get everything done more and like were you guys both up at 6 a.m and danny's like i don't want to lie well you know and then brian's like hey jenn were you up at 6 a.m she's like no i was like five minutes late or whatever and yeah she's an asshole i mean as as my mother would say you can be a lesbian and you can be lazy but you can't be a lazy lesbian okay yeah you can't be and you can only float one one thing that people have to swallow at a time okay yeah she's like why doesn't danny lie like why is he why like why does he know about lying like how does he get along in life i guess he has morals you know what i've got a craving for vagina all right and then she's getting in trouble and you see clips of her already in the very first episode like yeah i see some sexism already right off the bat fucking sexist like no lady no no you a lazy bitch okay yeah although brian probably is a little sexist but you're also here's the thing if you know you have a boss who's sexist then you know what's a good thing to do if you want to like just be like hey no i'm just as good as one of the guys you should like not show up late and make the guys look good you know brian did say something that sounded a little sexist but because he was saying well normally it's guys do you come like punch him in the arm and just say get over it asshole but you can't do that with the girl it's different like he seems like that but at the same time in male dominated things especially of this nature it's like a bunch of worker bees who are male-dominated it is like that like if you're going to be a girl in that then you have to deal with the guys being stupid fucking guys because they act like that when girls aren't around you know and they fart on each other and they just do stuff like that it's like they're not going to stop doing it just because you're a girl you know it's like when a gay guy goes and plays football the guys are still gonna i don't know i guess all those things sound fun actually never mind bad example i just had a great fantasy about what i'm taking a football at 40 so next we have another stew Julia Dalbert Pussy she is super ish and Julia her background makes no sense she's like well i had a fashion line and i was in all these stools and i was really trying it was doing well but it wasn't doing well enough so here i am on a yacht i was like yeah there's some disc there's a disconnect there that's not the way it usually works i want a yacht to get the money to pay for my dress line what i like excuse there's it i'm like i don't get this Paula Abdul because she looks like Paula Abdul i really like her so far she looks like she should be horrible because she's beautiful she looks like a vixen she's a brunette on a boat of blondes usually that means she's gonna be awful because that's how people stereotype they're like look here's a bunch of blonde people and a brunette yes but she's not she's really nice and someone says to you driving she's like i have a 1964 Vespa like oh i like her like struggling to hold on to her coolness and stuff you know that shit always breaks down but she'd rather look cute on it you know i like her for the most part i can't wait she'll see disappoints me it's my favorite part of a reality show when they turn exactly yeah she's very um she's very Paula Abdul means jillian michaels with both of those edges are crazy so exactly and then we have tiffany um tiffany is a marine biologist by trade but she has been working on yachts because she doesn't really want to enter the real world i guess so she's about like every marine biologist ever i've never known anybody who's studying marine biology that's like a normal well-adjusted person they're all just trying to escape something no offense patty if you're out there listening or remember patty who's patty our friend patty oh never mind never mind wait in real life in real life we have a friend in real life named patty oh yeah patty oh yeah well she's a professor right yeah yeah that the marine biologist she probably knows a bunch of people i knew three strippers okay this is why i'm saying it but i lived in florida i knew this group of stripper girls so funny and nice i still know a bunch of them three of them left stripping to become a marine biologist now i don't know if that was just in this little town where everybody was like oh and guess where that was in jupiter florida and that's where this girl is from as well whoa it's all coming together well i just i've always thought of that as like a stripper like the escape the stripper world to become a marine biologist maybe someone suggested to them that that they should go muff diving and they took it a little too literally all go muff diving we get it peppermint patty have a scene so tiffany she like doesn't know how to do anything um she like didn't know how to make coffee she didn't she doesn't know she's like she even said she's like i'm not very detail oriented and you could see hannah her her eyes were like bulging like what the hell job where you don't even want it that's like me showing it to rear a bunch of children that i didn't even want you know just who shows up to work being mary poppins as smacks the children in the face every day not me it's ridiculous it's like going on a boat in the middle of nowhere and expecting to see a football game that's being broadcast in a different country in a different hemisphere at a different time zone that's like trying to sing chim chimney and realizing you don't like sit well what's the song gonna be about then it's like trying to fly without an umbrella you can't do it look when i'll see some penguins start dancing on this boat i'll buy it but yeah this other girl she kind of doesn't have a personality she's just like well i wasn't gonna be a marine biologist but now i'm just on a boat i don't like ironing i don't i didn't come here so i can iron it's like an uninteresting rocky yeah yeah she's she's gonna be a disaster um i i wonder who's gonna be fired first i feel like it's gonna be one of the guys looks like it's gonna be one of the guys i have a feeling Ben's gonna get fired really i think yes i think it's gonna be brian oh that's the bossy one yeah well son i don't like your lipstick makes me feel weird so uh here you go yes we get it darling sit down makes me want to kiss you but then i remember you're a guy oh lesbian all right yes jan we get it we've seen lesbians before hey as long as we're in the Mediterranean why don't we stop off at the aisle of lesbos there's no need one to have scissors i can't get this tag off i do oh my god you're not gonna scissors someone just sit down peppermint um yeah that's that's pretty much it for blow deck management i remember i feel like there were some other funny things but i don't remember them because i didn't write anything down oh i didn't write anything down for this one i started to okay here's what i wrote i wrote cap mark and ben hannah sheaves do ben giggle set up in a day ryan loosing captain gay charters vomiting swans danny deckhand already the worst i hate this show i'm not writing anymore oh i liked it i was really into it but you know what i didn't like the first blow deck either until the second year so maybe we'll like it all right well i'll keep tabs on this one um we how about this you keep tabs on motherhood i'll keep tabs in this one and we can just do tour group oh okay that will be fine okay so in the meantime that was just our that was just a pallet cleanser between the housewives because we have our third and final installment in the real housewives of Beverly hills reunion slash takedown of lisa vanderpump but not really i know the another vanderpump takedown fail i mean they were just trying so my favorite thing about this was they were at this point they were just really trying as hard as i could to take her down and lisa just is like not having it they're like do you feel do you feel sorry do you feel sad do you feel kind of bad for everything do it does this make you feel sad should be like no no why why would it no what like she must have had like a martini with some Xanax in it before this even started because she never got upset she never got mad she just looked confused at anybody yeah she was like what is happening here what are they even talking about down there yeah at one point i remember when i lean this cracked me up i lean is coming at lisa about deflecting that's what she does you all all you do is deflect you just deflect and change the subject and then then and he is like do you admit that you do that that you deflect and lisa vanderpump stares in for hard beating and goes what what are you talking about what are we talking about i love that she deflected the deflection so they open talking about this they're still talking about how lisa vanderpump was also abused at one point and she's crying and she's doing this thing where she's putting the Kleenex all the way against her eyeball and then yes i just love that because i was like she'll even turn that into like Kleenex cataracts and she'll never have boogers again she'll even make her blindness a win you know yeah but she was crying and then lisa rina is trying not to laugh watching her cry about abuse i lean is making this snarky face and yolanda is just shaking her head and smiling like yes and then uh yolanda becomes the full-on Andy in this one and just starts she takes over this whole reunion basically and she's like look at you lisa vanderpump this is what we wanted from you the feelings oh you are finally feeling the some things yeah they were like yeah no they're like this is way this is this is how you bond lisa by sharing these things i'm like this is crazy i mean i get it that it that is how you bond but you shouldn't have to like be compelled to share something on national tv that's deeply personal unless you want to and like you know they they're only happily savanderpump if she takes yourself down a few bags you know if she says oh i was i was beaten up by this awful guy and it was so terrible that i don't even think about it anymore i don't even talk about my own husband but they're only happy when she can when she can reveal that i was like that's bullshit but if she had done it when they're saying if she if if i lean it said oh i remember that time where i was supposed to say something last year and now i'm gonna say it i was beat and everyone's like uh okay then what if vanderpump had said darling i was too i would i had an abusive relationship too what a coincidence then i lean would have been like you see she took my pain my story that was my moment she turned it around and she stole it exactly and now they're mad that lisa vanderpump wasn't crying because before if she had cried they would be like she's trying to manipulate us with her tears and change the subject it's like you can't fucking wane yeah and i just keep on asking what is the manipulation for is it's i mean at best i i guess it would be to make her look the best be the most popular with the fans the fact that these women care so much about being manipulated and how they're being viewed by the fans just shows like they're sort of sadness and desperation um i was cracking up at what i'm trying to read through this recap and just get it but yeah one of my favorite segments was i lean i lean was like you don't feel anything so yes i do darling i feel things you know did you remember when i cried about those tortured dogs darling in the church i stream the church yeah and i lean it's like well it could be said that you care more about animals than you do about anybody in this cast and lisa goes yes thank you what well lisa goes i have empathy for people i care about and i was like ooh that's true i care about dogs that are about to die and people i care about yeah i love that it's like a quiet like smacked all of them i was laughing so hard and then um yo londa just started that smile mod again yes because this it started this whole thing with uh pump and i lean because she's like well i'm glad you said that darling you know that i've got feelings because you said a lot of nasty things about me and i lean trying not to roll her eyes it's like i haven't said anything nasty i was just being honest well it hurt my feelings darling oh okay well i'm sorry and then yo londa is like you see she did it again she made i lean apologize this is not about i lean making apologies today and then they were like look how easy it was i lean just had to say i'm sorry and that's all it took and then he's like lisa do you have a hard time saying sorry and then she's just like she just doesn't say anything how was that i lean giving because and he's the one he said you see that's all i lean wanted was for you to say sorry like she just did that is how lisa said sorry she said exactly sorry for whatever you're pissed off about which is what i lean did well i'm sorry but i was just being honest why is that no case sorry yeah exactly i'm even getting annoyed with myself like a lot of the comments people are like you kiss lisa's ass whatever i do i get it you know and i get it and that's a legit criticism because at this point it's all i'm doing because i i'm getting more and more furious that these bitches have nothing like this is the third reunion and you're still talking about all of this nothing you think exactly and freaking you londa when when lisa's talking about like her abuse and everything and they're saying well why didn't you share this and lisa's like well it's unpleasant i don't i don't like to talk about it and you're like just like well you know i don't like to talk about my lime like the lime is unpleasant but it's important for me to talk i was like of course yolanda turns lisa's abuse into a moment for her lime yet again of course it's kind of a freaking dressing room for christ sake her bravery for sharing her lime journey yet again you know her faux limes that happen to clear up right when the season was ending so she could go on more trips get out of here yolanda ain't nobody buying yo shit no mo it's still it's to me you know there was a whole segment about kyle and the serena and what did kyle say and what lisa here and what like what did what at least evanderpump say to kyle like again it was all this nitty gritty and the story was changing every half sentence about like well i said it first no well you said it but i was talking about children you said it for this and you said this and to me well i don't understand what these women is there's such a disparity about what everyone said and what everyone heard and to throw out a relationship when they said that vanderpump and rina knew each other for 25 years it's like it kind of it makes me sad to think that you would throw out an entire relationship based on such uncertainty and it's like where is the benefit of the doubt rina we like you rina we do you know as much as we kiss vanderpump's ass we every week we always remind people that we actually really like rina also but we don't understand why she threw it out and the reason why she threw it out in my mind after 25 years is because she was manipulated and it was not by lisa vanderpump it was by eileen and by yolanda they were the ones who got in her like she's so mean she's so manipulative she's so manipulative she's using you she's using you she's so evil like you you said those bad things but it's not your fault lisa vanderpump made them made you say it they get into her ear they make her feel you know what wants to be told they're manipulated everyone likes to think that likes to think that they're their own person and it makes her mad and next you know she's turning on this friend from 25 years because two other people have beats with her and she's using this moment as if it's an a a moment of aha proof i think even andy was trying to get at that like like why was this proof that lisa was lying etc etc and she didn't have a good answer for it it it upsets me he said what she said she would call me and tell me what to say and he said okay well tell me what she told you to say well there was the munch housing really because you just admitted last week that she never said that word you said that last week yourself i mean you've changed your story 20 times so who knows but that's what you said last week it's not like it was a long time ago you just said it and then he goes and what else and she's like well and there was that what was the other thing i don't remember there was another thing that lisa like supposedly talked her into doing it's like shut up well how and everyone's mad okay so the thing is everyone's mad that lisa vanderpump made her same munch housing out loud but you but vanderpump isn't even hiding her feelings she's like oh you londa darling i mean this episode they talked about all the same things yes she's like well of course we had a good laugh about the instagram and you'll londa's like oh you laughed yes a peak just oh my god well darling i mean when your head was popping out of a toaster of course it was over the top we were cracking up about it so what i'm glad you could find this funny well yes darling me your toaster your your toast you know it was ridiculous done like she'll say it right to her face yeah i mean your londa why did you post the photo in the first place it wasn't just because you had nearly that smile on your face it wasn't because it's like oh it's my journey you post it because it's it looks ridiculous and you like you're allowed to be on your journey and and to say look how hilarious this is i'm in this thing i mean why did you put it on instagram the reason why is because on some level you also thought it was funny and noteworthy well i don't know funny she thinks this shit is like real shit poor yolanda of course she does do tricky things like post a picture where it looks like on where is having to carry her through the streets and then his instagram is her smiling and laughing because they were having fun while they were shopping and she's trying to act like she was on death's door the the sanctimoniousness of it all you know of that you can't even laugh at her wrapped up in a jiffy pop thing is so beyond ridiculous and that's what's so frustrating because whether you're on lisa's side or whether you're against her okay the bullshit is nothing compared to yolanda's i'm sorry and i'm not even talking about whether the lime or the chronic lime whatever's just the amount of bullshit about like how could you laugh at me you know she is so quick to play the victim and beyond just like i have lime in terms of like regardless of what what you know we always are talking about the lime the chronic lime in this and that regardless of that she's just playing the victim of i'm ill and i'm and i'm going to use it i mean she brandishes it whenever she can which is what lisa rina was saying all along and she's now backpedaled on that and it's actually the most true thing that rina has said yep um yolanda is just ridiculous she's i'm glad that she actually showed up as an awfully human being so people can stop kissing her ass because that's the one i'm really sick of everyone everyone's like you can't be mean because she's got a thing no she doesn't and yes i can watch me so i'm glad that she's being awful again because it's reminding people that she's an asshole because when you watch these shows you have such a short memory span of what even happened last year why are they what are they talking about um but all of the outrage in this one was hilarious especially from rina and i lean i lean going off on banner pump again because none of this worked last time banner pump turned it all around on her and it took i lean a few minutes to realize that it got turned around on her again and she apologized again so she was like here's what you don't understand the savander pump you made me look like the bitch i was the one who looked like the bitch you turned everything around and you made me i had no recourse do you know what that felt like i had no recourse i had to stand up for my it's like where the bravo human resources closed what do you mean you had no recourse what did you shut the fuck up i lean yeah exactly and what like what did you have to stand up to yourself about well what what what four i was it's funny earlier this morning i was talking about this girl i know who uh like like nine or ten months ago or hanging out and she went off on me about something so beyond ridiculous this like it was one of these moments i was like is this is she really is she really mad at me about this and is this like she's really and and she's going off and you know me i don't like when people come from me i'm very sensitive i don't think they're all fried well i wasn't going to cry because it was ridiculous it wasn't like wasn't it was just one of those things where like you know i i actually feel like on a day-to-day basis with my friends i like i give them the benefit of the doubt and that this woman she just like snapped and went crazy on me and it was it was a moment where i realized oh you know what like okay this girl's crazy and um we are actually two very different people like i get along with i can get along with her i can have fun with her you know i can obviously socialize or whatever but we'll never be close because we're we operate in two different ways and you know and i still get like annoyed when i think back on that incident it's so ridiculous but i never really bothered to try to like talk to her about it to be like yeah i want to resolve this because a) i didn't care enough and b) i just knew it wouldn't resolve it because she wouldn't understand it she wouldn't understand where i was coming from and if anything she would just be like i can't believe you're still complaining but that was like three days ago i'm over it she would have done actually what Lisa Vanderpump did to i lean and i would be i lean but the difference is i was like okay whatever and i just sort of like wrote her off to a certain extent and that's what i lean should have done she should have been like okay all right all right i tried to approach Lisa and she was kind of a bitch about her she didn't understand and you know what we're two different people i'm moving on we're just i'm just never gonna let her be close to me well at this point you see because even just what they're saying and how they're talking you can see that i because your londa says later well i lean is the most supportive because she's in no way connected to anything like well yes she is you both live in malibu you guys have been talking you know so of course she's friends with you she came in this season ready to be pissed and found the first things she could jump on it took her three days to figure out that she could actually use this so i don't know if you're going to come for Vanderpump just do it well i want to see her like really crying and really caught in something horrible because we've been promised all these years all these horrible things she's been doing i want to see what they are i want to see and i mean you know people say every um every every year people accuse her of being manipulative i'm sure i'm sure she's manipulative in certain ways but you know sometimes people confuse a strong personality for manipulation and uh you know that might be what's at what's at play here but i just still to the end of the i still question what is the end game for the manipulation if you're being manipulated what's it for and why is she doing it no no one even knows they just they're too stupid to fight i mean i lean is going off on this fake thing where she's pretending she's crying she's like how dare you i had no recourse do you admit it do you admit it and and Lisa's just staring off into space so like no emotion on her face and then because well do you admit it she's like admit what exactly Lisa at that point over and over i was laughing so fucking hard you know at that point Lisa had been like it had been like six hours and Lisa's like just over and she's like no no and then of course then they tried out brandy in this video segment where brandy has this moment where she's like hey i'm drinking wine you guys can't do anything about it it was it was essentially like a nah nah nah nah for like five minutes and Lisa Vanderpump was like why are you showing she's not even on the show anymore it's just this ridiculous you know and he's like shh let's watch let's watch with his big grin like looking around and everybody was pissed and i like that Lisa was actually saying oh really Andy like that's fair now you have someone who's not even on the show and they get to sit up there and talk and no one else gets to say anything back that's great and he really nice like i like that she's just sitting there telling him off he's like uh huh well let him finish and she just talked through the whole thing and then meanwhile you know brandy makes herself look like an ass as usual and she's like and and she says the the strangest thing is that she's like i mean your hair looks really great this season i'm like all right that's just proof that brandy does not know what you're talking about at any given time it's like congratulations on understanding hair conditioner and also i never thought you'd have the balls to go after Vanderpump and call her on her manipulation it's like yeah and then when she said and Lisa Vanderpump some of what she said you know again brandy's like a new york chick she's an asshole but she's a funny asshole when she was telling rina like you're not a year than a squirrel's poop rina and i used to think you were bipolar but now i can just see your batship fucking crazy lady you're fucking crazy and then kyle stupid kyle brya braw that fits or whatever she's like going down the list and then she gets to Vanderpump and she's like Lisa Vanderpump i was your puppet and i let myself be manipulated and i admit it i did all your dirty work what dirty work is exactly the fucking thing that brandy ever did for Lisa one yeah i mean there were the magazines from that that Lisa was trying to manipulate her into taking she didn't take them so that was a fail what was the malleaved stuff about malleaved selling stories malleaved admitted that that was her maid and she apologized to Lisa for accusing her of that what exactly are you what were you puppeteered into doing you stupid yeah i think the only thing i can imagine would be if if someone said you know Lisa has these opinions about people and then she makes you feel them too and then you go and you say them and then people get mad at you and then meanwhile Lisa actually has nothing you know nothing i can understand that now that would be true and rina's real fight should have been okay i just sat here and talked about much hasn't you guys are pretending you've never heard it when i've talked to you both about it you've been sending each other texts about it like just be honest and say what you were thinking you don't believe her either just say it that i would have been down for she said yeah you're making me look like i'm the only one but you guys were part of it too but even that which i guess is what she's sort of saying but even that it's it's it's questionable and and again the thing is the reason why there's even an issue about this is because your alanta has taken this pious stance that to even you know like cough a shred of doubt her way is to be like just an evil awful callous human being so now you know now they're all on guard like like oh like you know they're like afraid to say that they they even mentioned it or questioned i mean now they aren't that towards the end of reunion they're like yeah we laughed about it because they're so exhausted by this whole topic but there shouldn't be any like shame or embarrassment about this especially if you're a public figure and you're on a tv show and you're making this your quote-unquote journey a big thing and you're putting up photos that seem to contradict each other people have questions maybe they should have gone to her to ask them maybe and they've admitted that they were insensitive about that but like essentially yolanda has sat there and enjoyed watching these women go at it you know because they're fighting over her and where's and it's just that's me so mad yeah it's so stupid i'm so glad this season is over when i finished the recap i was like bye-bye bitch i'm so over it but some things were funny like the fact that erica and katherine cannot be entertaining no matter how hard they try and i know that everybody loves erica i'm still not a hater yeah but i just can't love her and i know that i should but she's an asshole she lies about every single thing with a straight face and then she's like when she's trying her and katherine are trying to muster up the energy to fight they're exhausted everyone's exhausted they can barely do it and she goes well katherine do you want me to tell lisa that you called her a harmless old lady and katherine said i never called her a harmless old lady she says yes you did you called me and you called her and she's pointing right in lisa's face you called her a harmless old lady and it cuts to van or pub and she just shrugs and goes she's not old or harmless and then they both started cracking up in the chair and erica they can't even fight and erica's like i swear on my son's life and katherine's like well i swear on the bible i'm like well your husband doesn't know how to pronounce west mr and abby and you left your son when he was three how about you both stop swearing on important things right now because you're both fucking liars just stop it yeah i i agree with you like i i like erica she's fine but i i have not i have not become someone who loves her and so many people really really love her but i i guess maybe because also we really look at these shows so so so closely and we dissect everything and the more that we dissect it the more we understand we sort of see flaws and things and i think if i were just sort of watching casually i probably would love her too but the more we talk about her and and the more we realize that she hasn't let us in and that she's sort of as humorless uh it's just kind of yeah if she were if her personality were as fun as her cultivated personality i would love it yeah she just leaves me a little cold you know she has moments where she where she'll like laugh and show some personality it's like oh oh oh oh there that's i like that keep doing that you know but yeah she's so far she's boring but you know like we'll see in season two that's always the best one um what else happened in this i love that they were attacking the husband they were attacking ken oh yeah this is like darling well i can't stop ken darling you know he's a man he does whatever he wants to die i can't stop him and he's like yeah but wouldn't you be mad if someone else's husband did that to you she's like well yeah of course i would be pissed off yes like okay well what do you want me to do apologize for ken i can you know he says it it's him so let's just clip about ken being mean to everybody i was dying because he's such a bitchy queen you know he really he really is and he goes off and by the way lisa and can never turn on each other ever they like lisa's always i'm like i can't do it i can't i can't like they they are fiercely loyal which is pretty great and you know and i i get the sense that um lisa and harry hamlin are too and um i you know i think that lisa rina has a right to be upset by what ken said because it was it was just nasty the only you know the thing that makes me not was hilarious they're like we would be mortified and then lisa whips at her phone she's like do you know what he called me baby he called me a whore an idiot a donkey a wanker a piece of shit she's like i never called you a wanker i love when lisa vena from draws a line suddenly a fake a line that's wrong by the way it's always the same pattern is always semantics and she's always wrong i know he did say wanker um the the the thing is what was i going to say about um about these fools these silly silly fools i don't know like yeah the husband's i'm trying i'm trying to remember um i just think it's hilarious it's like they're yelling at ken but harry hamlin won't even come on the show and then the other husband is like gambling away i lean's money it's like why are you guys stop bringing up your husbands they won't even be here on the show with you okay ken is the best old queen we've ever had if anything ken should be hosting these shows like all right listen hey stupid wanker you know the thing that's my wife yeah the thing that makes me sad about this is um you know lisa van der pump in her blogs we read one a few weeks ago but in her blogs in her tweets she's gone to the dark side and she's she's gone to she's gone she's started to get like full on nasty and it bothers me because the thing that she always had was being above it all and for her to finally get dragged into it and i understand why she's exhausted she can't do it anymore but for her to do that it gives them so much ammo that's so unnecessary like it makes me mad and it also makes me sad for their friendship because she's actually now saying things that are gonna do real damage to her friendship with rina i mean rina's rina's already done a lot of really bad things but van der pump is now like she's really ruining it and for some reason i'm like really invested in their friendship getting repaired so i'm like i'm upset i think it's a sidekick thing i don't think that anybody likes feeling like a sidekick and um i think rina felt it because she turned right after that ohio trip she got pissed on it and then she turned like yeah very shortly after and it happened also with brandy brandy didn't like feeling like a sidekick and this and that because they're doing scenes where lisa gets to show off all of her money and be wacky and she's thinking she's doing someone a favor like oh we're gonna be like lucy and that's all i'm losing obviously darling yeah no one wants to be at the law i mean god bless her she's very afraid especially if you're an actress if you're an yeah especially if you're an actress who as much as she jokes about you know like doing these random gigs for the money you know no actress wants to be number two yeah so we'll see i mean i'm just glad it's over i'm glad it's over too i i hope they can repair their friendship just because you know i want them to i don't know if they can to be honest and one of the reasons why they probably won't be able to is because i don't think i don't think brander pump would allow rina back in you know one thing i think she cuts you off you're done when she's done with you i mean she and kyle are close but kyle never kyle has come for van der pump but never the way that that rina has like she would get she got mad at van der pump and but she'd do like a crying thing like i thought you were my friend and you said like i don't know like you'd be bad and why would you say that it's like a it's like a crying sounds really good at manipulation um you know because she's good at making you feel like i made a mistake but i need you and really all lisa van der pump needs is for people to need her that's all she needs that's why all of her animals limp that being said rina is really good at like an apology tour she does it really well i can see her being turns right around and does it right in the same sentence she disses you again it's like that's your lime is your art baby yeah we thought you were faking because you're an idiot oh i i care and then she's nodding like she cares like i love that she can't make up her crazy mind yeah the problem is this is all i lean i lean's fault it really is because rina was seeing things in a very clear way and then i lean because she had her own axe to grind with van der pump decided you know like the enemy of my enemy is my friends in this case yolanda and she decided to hop on the yolanda train and turn rina and she could turn rina because they're besties and you know it's it's it's to that i think this is also van der pumps fault yeah honestly just because she cannot communicate she can't if i lean came to me with that i would just say i lean i get that i hurt your feelings that was not my intention i wanted a juicy story about you fucking some do i'm sorry if it's offensive i guess that it would embarrass you on tv but i don't think you should have any reason to be embarrassed it's love who cares or if whatever her opinion is she won't share it on this show she's very careful kyle teaches her very well how to apologize and this one she's like all right i'll show up and i'll just keep saying sorry over and over in a meaningless way and then go home you know she's not even phased by it anymore but you see when she gets on van der pump rules and what her real well her other fake personality who knows which one is real but the other side of her personality when she'll tell everybody off call them on all their shit and still like them i think that that's a really good personality to have on this show and i wish she would use it on this show and just say well you did she you know so what so you ruined other families you know she was satin away like that so you ruined another family as long as you're in love darling like whatever i don't even care how she is if she's a total bitch i would just rather see more of her personality because this like sad old lady thing is hilarious when she pulls out the victim card but it's officially too much it's like all right yeah she van der pump needs to learn how to communicate with these women i think that there is a cultural issue and she you know kyle was coaching her a little bit but van der pump needs some like corporate training you know because sometimes people just don't know like not even being nice because she has already got that in her it's not even how to deal with people it's how to deal against them i would rather see her giving shade and really earning this villain title because she's people have been trying to give give her this crown for years take it take the villain crown and just be a fucking bitch i would love that but what these women never realized is that is that the more they go for they come after at least a van der pump the more the audience just loves her you know you we all love the person who's being bullied i mean we loved brandy at first because she was being bullied we loved well i still haven't fallen in love with Erica but it's gonna be her turn at some point yeah she needs to she she she has to step up next season and do something you know either she she be she's gonna be the queen or she'll be the bitch whatever it is but she's got to do it yeah well i'm glad it's over by Beverly Hills good lowered man yeah good lord and that's that's it with the burp with the burp at the end of that gigantic meal i just burped i just burped out the last of the Beverly Hills season i burped it out and so let's think he burped see you bitch all right well everyone thanks so much for um listening to our little show here you can follow us at facebook on facebook at facebook.com/watchworkcrapins and there are like so many links up there news stories that we always are planning to talk about we never do so go check that out patreon.com/watchworkrapins is where you can support us and you can contribute to the crappins mailbag you just read it just go over there you'll see you'll see how you can do that and go to watchcrapins.com to see our twitter um twitter links and stuff like that so thanks everyone have a great weekend say hi to your mama uh and uh happy cinco de mayo don't forget to boot get your mama suckas let me guys bye if you like watch what crappins you can listen ad-free right now by joining wondry plus in the wondry app or on apple podcast prime members can listen ad-free on amazon music before you go tell us about yourself by filling out a short survey at wondry.com/survey bombas makes the most comfortable socks underwear and t-shirts warning bombas are so absurdly comfortable you may throw out all your other clothes sorry do we legally have to say that no this is just how i talk and i really love my bombas they do feel that good and they do good too one item purchased equals one item donated to feel good and do good go to bombas.com/wondry and use code 'wondry' for 20% off your first purchase 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