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Free shipping on qualified orders, see site for more details. This episode is sponsored by DoorDash. You've heard us talking about the latest Dash Pass annual plan benefit. Stream max with ads included at no extra cost. If you haven't tried it yet, what are you waiting for? Ronnie, you're a big Last of Us fan, right? Oh, I sure am. The HBO original The Last of Us. It's about to start another season. What would you order on DoorDash while you watch The Last of Us? Well, while I'm watching Last of Us, I prefer eating salads from DoorDash because the zombies are plants, so you're kind of eating the zombie plant people, you know? Oh, good. You're restoring order. Yeah, it's on theme. Sign up for a Dash Pass annual plan and get max included at no extra cost. It's your door to more. Max is now included with your Dash Pass annual plan. Stream max with ads up to $120 value included at no extra cost. In terms of supply, see DoorDash.com/max for details. Join the over 30 million people who are already dreaming big with Weebly. It starts the day for free at weebly.com/watch. That's all for today's episode is brought to you by our premium subscriber. Hi everyone, welcome to Watch For Crap and the podcast about all that crap on Bravo that we just love to watch. I'm Ben Mandelker from bsideblog.com and the banter blender and joining me as usual is Ronnie Karam from Trash Talk TV. Hi Ronnie, what's going on? Well, hello Ben. Not a whole hell of a lot sitting here in front of my Bravo notes. Oh, I forgot to shower you with adjectives, so I would like to add that you are the lovely and handsome and powerful Ronnie Karam from Trash Talk TV.com. Thank you young lady, because have you act around other people reflects on me? You see is very true. So everyone please go to Watch For Crap and dot com to find our social media links such as where you can find both Ronnie and me on Twitter and Instagram, et cetera. If you go to facebook.com/watchforcrapins, you can join in on the condo. There is so much funny stuff on that page. People are posting all sorts of hilarious things. Someone posted a thing about a flamingo, you know, drowning. So that was like a funny reference to Patricia on Southern Charm. So go to facebook.com/watchforcrapins to get involved. And of course, if you are feeling kind-hearted like a good member of charitable Dallas, you will go to patreon.com/watchforcrapins, where you can learn about how you can sign up and support us for as little as $1 per month. So when you do support us, you get access to our bonus episode, which we just recorded. We talked at length about flying and flying and no-ho and lemonade and all sorts of bravo gossip. But Kathy Wickele is up to you lately. Michael and Kelly. Business ventures for Ampeaker. Yeah, we really got into it. So it was really fun. And then this Thursday, we have a Google Hangout for our Patreon subscribers at that tier, where we basically all get onto a Google Hangout together and, you know, chat and joke and talk about Bravo and talk about other things. So that's super fun. And of course, that's also how you can submit questions to the Crapins Mailbag, which we'll get into very shortly. We might just get into it right now. I mean, right? Would that be crazy? Should we just get right into the Crapins Mailbag? Well, we can't just- Yeah. We can't just- Yeah, 'cause I don't have to do that. Oh, here it is. Lemonade, lemonade, lemonade, lemonade, lemonade. I'm in the process of opening up the Crapins Mailbag. It's loading up on my little laptop right here. Lemonade, right on my face. I'm trying to think of what Beyonce works. That was where I started her new year. That was actually the way the album was supposed to open up. Lemonade on my face. Right on my face. Right on my face. I hope that all of these rumors are true and she's gonna dump stupid JC because if I have to hear one more song about Beyonce writing JC's face, I'm out of here. I'm out of here, Beyonce. Yeah, that's a lot. That's a lot. And as I mentioned the bonus episode, I still think that it's Casey from Princesses Long Island, who's Becky with the good hair, putting it out there, putting it out there. Okay. Does anybody on Princesses Long Island have good hair? Casey probably had the best of them. Maybe her hair was funny looking. Don't tell her that. So I'm the sexiest, funny looking girl out there. So we start with Jamie. Jamie has a question. Actually, she has more of a statement. More like a demand. Jamie says, "I would like to hear Patty LePone singing at more celebrity funerals." Well, we can arrange that. Okay. Who else has died? A lot of people have been dead, right? David Bowie died. Rebel Rebel. Oh, David. Constantly. With their crystal ball. I've never been able to use a crystal ball like that. Did you see it coming, David? That's over. That's over. Tell my wife and children I love them very so. This is "Growned Control" with a new name. It's "Moody and China." "Mooded Love" and "Moody the Church" and "Mooded Love." She's a girl who thought she would fly around the world and end up in China now. She's gone. China, Ghana. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, it's a little China girl. It's a China girl. What else has passed away? I feel like a lot of people have. A lot of people have. What about Michael Jackson? Michael Jackson? He didn't just pass away. It didn't have to be recent. It doesn't have to be recent. Jamie just said more celebrity funerals. I was so happy and proud to have met Michael Jackson when he first opened Neverland. I thought it was the musical. Well, I showed up and Michael had liked to dedicate this to you in your grave. That's all I know from Beat It. And by the way, I just want to remind everyone that my paddy lepone impersonation is purely based off of Ronny's. This is not my impersonation of paddy lepone. This is my impersonation of Ronny impersonating paddy lepone. I'm trying to think of Michael Jackson. He doesn't matter if you're Michael or why, Tom. Do you remember the time when we fell in love? You remember the time before smit? (singing in foreign language) (singing in foreign language) (laughing) (singing in foreign language) (singing in foreign language) (singing in foreign language) (singing in foreign language) (laughing) (singing in foreign language) (laughing) - Oh my goodness, I wish I could think of someone else who died, another good singer who died, just to do my own headphones. - I hope Patti LaPone doesn't. (laughing) I hope Patti LaPone doesn't die before anybody else because she needs to be singing at everybody's funeral. - Everyone's. Everyone's. - ♪ Jim Hansen, he's not a long time ago ♪ ♪ But he's still with me, ah ♪ ♪ Why are there some of these songs ♪ ♪ About rainbows, ah ♪ - I mean really. ♪ It's time to stop the fire ♪ ♪ It's time to stop the show ♪ ♪ Da-da-da-da-da-da ♪ ♪ The Muppet show tonight ♪ ♪ Da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da ♪ - Let's open the Muppets, right? - Do, do, do, do. (laughing) - Oh my God, why am I blanking at everyone who died? I'm the only thing of actors, I'm not the only thing of any famous singers. Such a shame. I'm like, some of my friends are like. - Isn't that crazy how many people have died at one time? I mean, there was Prince, and there was that lady from Everybody Loves Rayman, and then there was like Michael Badoon dude. I'm like, who are you talking about? You can't just start inserting randos into this celebrity three, okay? - No. - Fucking internet. - They're like, that guy has a YouTube channel. Who cares? - Yeah. ♪ I don't sing at YouTube channel, that's okay, yeah ♪ - What about Nirvana? What about Kurt Cobain? (laughing) (laughing) - I'm just trying to tell you how it gets us. ♪ And the last one is contagious ♪ ♪ And the last one ♪ ♪ And the winner ♪ ♪ And the winner ♪ - I don't even know what makes that song. - Kurt Cobain died in such a weird way, and a woman was kind of at fault that she wouldn't even go there. She'd just use other Avita songs to be like. ♪ I'll Kurt another suitcase in another home ♪ ♪ Am I right, Kurt? ♪ (laughing) ♪ What else can I say ♪ ♪ Everyone is gay ♪ (laughing) ♪ She could do a ♪ ♪ I don't think you're up and up and up ♪ ♪ She could do what's a space from stone double pilots ♪ ♪ And I feel the world's a friend ♪ - Actually, the thing is that if I start doing patty lapone, doing some double pilots, I'll just turn into Scott Sap. ♪ Run off your feet ♪ ♪ With a never one ♪ - If she did anything about pilots, she'd be like. ♪ Let's go fly a kind, huh ♪ ♪ Oh, my my chimney rhyme ♪ - Just be flying. I don't think she knows who stone temple pilots are. - Yeah, now she wouldn't, she wouldn't. Okay, so Katherine asks, she basically says flamingo party, janky or nah. So I haven't seen Southern charm yet, so I can't. In general, I would think a flamingo party would be janky, but I'm gonna reserve my opinion until I see the episode. - Flamingos at the end of the day are all these dirty fucking creatures. They all look like they're wearing dirty clothes. Have you ever seen a clean looking flamingo? They've always got like dust on them. They look gross, they stand in poopy water, and they all stand around there with one leg lifted. Are you talking about the flamingos, the bird, or flamingo, the casino? Because I would agree about the casino. It is sort of dusty and fucking like-- - Why do you think it's named after that disgusting bird? - Yeah, seriously. - Is that your other foot down, flamingo? (laughing) - Petty lip bones. Gold's a flamingo through song. But your other foot down. ♪ Don't come crying to me if you fall down ♪ (laughing) ♪ Flamingo, why you so pink? ♪ - A real bird would be called blue or black. ♪ I was gonna play the flamingo in ♪ ♪ Andrew Lloyd Webber's flamingos ♪ ♪ And then they called Glenn Close-up ♪ (laughing) - I'll never be that way, am I? - Even worse, fate done away. Wasn't the whole thing, oh, was it? Wait, was the issue? I'm sorry, I'm sorry, that's right. Petty lip bone had an issue with Glenn Close with Sunset Boulevard, but fate done away was an issue because of what's it called? What was the one about the frog? - Oh, the princess and the pea? - No, no, no, no, no, fate done away. Andrew Lloyd Webber, it was a whole thing where fate done away all the-- - Wow, the frog. - She held a press conference 'cause she was so mad. - I see, I had a headline on my house, that's where she lives. - Wait, no, okay, I got it all wrong again. Sunset Boulevard to be closed, done away is singing, it's faulted. There was some issue with fate done away in Andrew Lloyd Webber. - She was singing in Sunset Boulevard, that's a terrifying thought. - She, okay, she held a press conference, okay, I'm bringing up the press conference, 'cause this is nothing-- - I'm ready for my close up, Mr. Jameel. - It has nothing to do with-- - Too angry, too angry. - The thing is, this has nothing to do with Bravo, but since it's such a gay topic, it sort of has everything to do with Bravo. It's fate done away, fighting back against Andrew Lloyd Webber as soon as it eventually loads. There was an issue with fate, she got mad at Andrew Lloyd Webber because he didn't use her for something. Do you know what I'm talking about? - Oh Lord, she's probably like, I will play Mary, I will play Mary, oh you will suffer. - Fate done away is too fucking mad. - I'm not blaming him for anything, we all make actions and decisions and behave in life because we're a product of who we are and the experiences of our life. I am not saying it's his fault, I'm saying that for whatever his interior emotional life is, he made decisions that were on the one hand completely supportive, he cast me, he told me as late as Monday night that he was ecstatic that I had come on, that the progress in his word, the progress was remarkable, and then the next day changed his mind, so he tends to be a capricious man in my experience. - Ooh, fate done away with the T on Andrew Lloyd Webber. - Well some promises, just, could you imagine Fate done away like trying to text you over and over, figuring out how to use the FaceTime to yell at you properly? - Yes, I could actually imagine that. By the way, that entire news report, it's set under, it was like Sherman Oaks. For some reason that really cracked me up, live from Sherman Oaks, Fate done away, way's in on Andrew Lloyd Webber. - Fate done away, way's in as she weighs her salad at the Ralph Salad counter. I swear to God, the one time I ever saw Fate done away, I was at a yogurt shop, and she went in there, and she got one of those 32 ounce, you know, the super sized things of yogurt, where it's like, it's basically like a pint, or more than, no, it's like two pints, you know? Or quart. (laughs) She got it, filled up with yogurt, and she drove off in a Honda, and I thought, wow, this is not the way it's supposed to be. - It's really not, she goes to the Starbucks down the street for me, and one time I was in there, she wears this big, sun hat, these huge sunglasses, because, I mean, she does live in West Hollywood, so these queens could be following her down, like, "Yell at Christina, be your daughter, "they hit somebody, we'll take a picture." So I don't blame her, but she is in this huge sun hat, and someone said, "Oh, that's Fate done away," and I always heard she goes in there, and I was like, "Wow, you guys, "would it be Fate done away," said, and they're like, "She's a bitch." (laughs) - Okay, okay, do you know who that is? I said, "Yes, she's from, you know, "she's from gay college, you know, "she teaches that mommy dearest class." And they're like, "No, she's terrible, "but she always comes in and says, "Hello, how are you today?" - And then she's a bitch, like, she opens with, like, rich lady, bitch, I think she's that lady in West Hollywood who has all those signs all over her fence that say, "These trees are treated, "if your dog pees here, he will die." - She's like that crazy old man. - She is, I think her house is for sale, I mean, she's really, she's like on, I think she's on Spalding Avenue, like, Spalding in, like, Willoughby, or Spalding, and somewhere in that area. - That's where my friend lives on Spalding, so, oh, maybe that's what I think is that house, I just pass it, and there's just, like, so many, I will fuck you up all over that house, like, they're taped everywhere. - Yeah, no, she literally lives on Spalding, 'cause she put her house for sale, and it was posted that, oh, Fate done away, it was like, she lives in Spalding, and, like, I don't know what the cross-shoot is, but it's right there, I mean, we are so close to Fate done away at all times. - I'll bet she's that lady on Spalding on the corner, who puts all those trees around her house to try and be, like, Hollywood hidden, but you can't dig up anything in West Hollywood, so she just has them in huge pots in the, across the sidewalk. So you walk through it, and it feels like you're walking through the Home Depot Gardening Center Park, you know, like, these just huge potted trees, and then all these signs, like, warning about murdering your dog and stuff. I know that's you, Fate done away. - Yeah, we figured you out. - Okay, so back to the mailbag. Sami, oh, good old Sami, Suleiman. If you could pick any two housewives to star in a Cagney and Lacey-esque buddy cop show, who would they be? I love this question already. I would put, this is what Sami's saying, I would put Derinda and Kim Richards together as detectives in the LAPD's and liquor store at Brian's Division, and he goes, quote, you better back it up, put your hands on the wall, back it up, Derinda, stay here while I interrogate this Jack Daniel's guy. That was my terrible Kim Richards impersonation, sorry. - Hey, Derinda, you're not supposed to be talking to me and wearing a wig, I'm on the cover. Man, a wig. - Kim Richards walking around the back, back wig. - Well, I think, but first of all, Derinda and Kim Richards is an absolutely amazing combination, and Derinda should almost be in any sort of Cagney and Lacey buddy cop show, but if we were to, given that Sami already picked the best combination, I think that the second best-- - Yeah, 'cause that one every week would just be Kim Richards trying to see who stole her house. It's like the same mystery every week. - Yeah, well, the funny thing is you could pretty much take any woman from Real Housewives of New York City, and they would fit perfectly on a buddy cop show. Like Ramona, Ramona investigating something or Bethany, that's already amazing. Maybe Ramona and Bethany, as like a cop duo, would be kind of perfect. They'd just bad cop you until your head exploded, 'cause you'd just be so sick of them talking. - What? - So what did you do? Did you burn it? Did you burn it that guy? I mean, just tell me, because like I sold that guy, like he came out of that building, and then he was dead, and then with that tool, and it reminded me this time about walking out of buildings. Like it's crazy, nope, okay? - Okay, all right, all right, all right. What's the matter here? What's the matter? Okay, so there's a dead person here, okay. So you killed someone, okay, so what? Okay, you never seen dead body before? Okay, like I grew up, there's like dead bodies everywhere. It's like a race track, it's what happens, people die, okay? It's part of life, okay? Like people die, okay? Like literally, you know what, I'm actually jealous of them. Like literally kill me now, so I could be with their corpse, okay, because I cannot take this anymore. Like literally like, enough. Like if you, like, if I have to ask another question about the dead body, like I'm just gonna be on the floor crying, all right, just my walls up, my walls up. - I'm so sorry, I asked you all those questions when you first came with an inappropriate time, okay? Like you came in here. (both laughing) - I'm sorry, I should have interrogated you alone, okay? I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I love you, I love you. It's crazy. - Do you like a glass of water? I love water, okay? What a delicious guy? Do you want some water? Why, are you okay? Okay, she's like hugging the guy, leaving the guy. Oh, Ramona. - I don't get it, I don't get it, I don't get your alibi. Like it doesn't, like, it doesn't make sense. Like I don't, like, what's the brand here? Like, what's going on? Like, are you, like, out of town? Or are you, like, in the next room? Like, I don't get it, like, what's going on here? Like, what's happening, like, nothing makes sense. Like, it's like nothing, like, you do you, it's fine. Like, you know, you do your thing, but like, it doesn't make sense, I don't get it. Like, what? - That, like, I gave you a donut, okay? Like, I gave you a donut, like, you're sitting there, you're just staring at the donut, it's not normal. Like, what are you, you're gonna eat the donut? Like, that's a problem, okay? Like, I have a company called Skinny Girl. Like, you're not even Skinny Girl. You're, like, not healthy. Like, it's not normal, okay? Like, I've read you my rights, but instead, I'm gonna read from this book that I wrote for children, okay? It's like, okay, you know? Okay, first, my daughter got eight shampily in her room. It was $40,000, what do you think of that, huh? Huh, smart ass, huh? This is what you gotta do, okay? Like, your story's all over the place. Like, you gotta just, you know, what you gotta do is you gotta hire a team that's legitimate and make sure you get your stuff in Bloomingdale's, where needs to be? Like, where's it gonna be in Bloomingdale's? Like, see me at the front store? See me at the back? Who are you gonna be with? Like, I don't get your brand. Like, I don't get your alibi. Like, it doesn't make sense. Like, literally, like, come here right now. Come here right now. - So you're either just like a dirty lunatic off the street or you're a murderer. Like, what's your brand? Like, you need to tell me now because I don't even know what to do with you. Like, you a killer, you a nice killer, you just a poor person, like, what is that? Like, if you're a homeless person, then you should be a murderer. Like, Trump's homeless person. Like, make it up, you know, like, whatever, I believe in whatever you're gonna be, it's just, like, I don't get it, you know what I mean? - Whoa, whoa, this is crazy. Okay, whoa, I'm like, look at this lineup right now, okay? Bethany, those guys, first of all, they're super hot and they keep on looking at me and I'm like, uh-huh, like, guys, like, I may be on the market, but like, I'm not available, okay? But this is crazy, that man over there, like, I swear, I know him. Like, I remember being in the forest in the Berkshires when I was a child and that man was walking around. I swear, I swear to God, whoa, this is crazy. This is crazy right now, it's like, I'm sorry, you murdered someone and that's day class, say, I'm not gonna date you, I'm not gonna date you, okay? - Oh, sorry, guy, like, you can't pick the guy because Ramona took him first 'cause that's so weird, she's so selfish, she's like, she's like a dick, she's like a dick selfish person, you know, like, like, she sees the dick she takes. We can't even accuse anybody anymore, like Ramona took the guy, like, like, what am I doing here? - You know what, I'm sorry, I'm renewed, okay, so I'm just gonna, I'm talking to guys because that's what I wanna do, I wanna talk to guys, okay? And, like, if you can't, if you can't be with me on my journey as I learn how to be a single woman in New York City, then I'm very sorry for you. But this is what I'm doing, I'm renewed and, well, this is, you know, I remember one time, I was once on OkayCupid and Geraldine Parsons Smith came in and said, "What are you doing? Why are you on this website?" I said, "I'm trying to find a man." And she said, "You know what you should be on? You should be not okay, Dionysus." And I said, "What does that mean?" She says, "Look it up." And to this day, I still haven't looked it up, I'm sorry, I'm sorry. - I couldn't help but notice, okay? Like, we gave you a donor and you didn't eat the donor, okay? So, I'm just wondering, do you mind if I take it home because maybe Mario will come over later? Like, I don't need him, but if he comes, like, it'll be nice to have a donor waiting for him. You know what I mean? Okay? - You know what, you know, it's crazy because everyone's talking about Miranda rights. But I wanna know, maybe Miranda's wrong sometimes. And who is Miranda anyway, okay? - Who's more random than this? - You have a white party, okay? Like, who is Miranda? Like, I don't get it, like, I don't get Miranda. Like, stop momming me, Miranda. Like, like, enough with your rights. Like, we know, your rights, your rights, like, get off my jock with your rights, okay, Miranda? Like, just, let me just be me, let me just be me, okay? I just wanna enjoy a dinner party for once, Miranda. Just once, I just wanna do this, okay? Like, literally, like, if you read me your rights, one more time, my wall is gonna go up. My wall is gonna be on the floor crying. Like, literally, kill me now, Miranda, kill me now. - I would read you your Miranda's rights, but, you know, I'm not Miranda, I'm Keri, okay? Bethany's Miranda, 'cause she's always complaining, and like, everything's bad, you know? Like, sorry, okay, Bethany, you read Miranda's rights, okay? I'll read Keri's rights. You have to write to, like, you wanna go out, you're so big, you're Mr. Big, I'm gonna call him that, right? - And then the commissioner comes in, "Ah, you guys haven't done anything on this case for three weeks." - Look, you're missing her. - I got this, I've got this criminal here, I need to baby, uh, come to mama. The mayor's breathing down my neck about this case. Oh, here's the mayor right now. Darling, what is going on with this case? I mean, be cool, don't be uncool with the case. This time of year is busy, family obligations, holiday parties, travel, relaxation might fall to the bottom of your priority list. 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Well, that criminal just blew a booger out of one of his nostrils and hit me in the face, a booger all up front saying, "This hasn't happened for a long time. I'm lightly stirred." Here's what we know about the criminal. It came walking down the stairs and it's hermin' monster shoes and then did the crime. The criminal just banks his head on the desk and tells his dad. They would never be able to throw anybody in jail. Another one killed himself, you know. Another one binds the dog. A chochonk. And then it's revealed to be Derinda all along and she pulls out her gun. Okay, everyone back it up, back it up. Well, Ramona gets it in the head, okay? Back it up. Okay, thanks for listening to Watch It Crap. I heard it out! We are off the, we are crazy. All right, I think that's it for the mailbag. Because otherwise, we're never going to get to our Bravo shows today. We are already like very deep in this podcast. Well, I know everyone is excited for us to get to the shows, but before we do that, I want people to know about Parachute. I want them to know about Parachutes. No, we have this wonderful, we have this wonderful ad for Parachute Parachute Home. So I'm just looking at the ad copy of the very first time right now, in case anyone can't tell. Actually, we should probably review it because they were just telling us the other day we can't sound like we're reading it. Oh, here we have to send natural. Okay, all right. Okay, I feel like I just want to keep this in anyway. So I'll, I'm going to naturally tell you guys that actually I have received. This is not a copy right now. This is copy from the heart. Okay, they did send us some sheets. Ronnie hasn't gotten his yet because Ronnie ordered the fancy sheets that are back-ordered. But I got the ones that are less fancy. Actually, I changed my order of the fancy ones, but they didn't see it. So I got the less fancy ones. And I'm very happy because I got the cool white parachute sheets. And they're very soft and delicious. And I'm very happy with them, especially, you know, because I'm up here in NoHo and it makes me feel comfortable in this new burg of mine. So I am obsessed because I love bed. I love being in bed. And so when we got this sponsor, I was so excited because they have, they actually have a blog where they like, you know, they teach you about decorating. And I don't know, like, I'm not to be ridiculous with this stuff. And I actually go and read the blog. I'm like, wow, what a lovely use of books above the headboard. I should actually read that blog because, well, especially because once I move back into my apartment efforts, I'll renovate it. I want to look more adult than ever. So I will go to their blog. Maybe I should just, you know, they're actually based in Venice Beach, which is pretty close to us. So maybe I'll just like drive over there and be like, can you guys come over to my place and help me make my place like adult? Thanks. Thanks. Yes, because, you know, you can't have some great sleep with that. Your sheets, y'all. No. And these sheets by Parachute, they're a line of everyday bedding essentials from sheets to comforters. And you're not sounding natural. You're not sounding natural. You're not sounding natural. If we try and sound natural for every little talking board, we'll be here in an hour. I'm like, hey, have you ever been to a website that's not a great board? Okay, let's just, let's just cut to the chase here, everyone. If you want to get involved in the Parachute Home Revolution, or you just want some cool sheets, go shop online at parachutehome.com/crapins for new sheets, duvets, and other bedding essentials. And we'll see $25 off your first order by using the offer code Crap-ins. That's parachutehome.com/crapins and save by using the offer code Crap-ins. Just remember your code is Crap-ins. All right. Do it, you guys. It's free shipping and free returns and 30 nights risk free. Do it, do it, do it, do it, do it. But on the 31st night, there's so much risk. The 31st night, I mean, you will not be able to sleep. They, the monsters are coming out like good luck on that 31st night because it is nothing but risk. Guys, if you make it to day 30, please come on our Facebook. Emma, sell it, me. And by the way, when the monsters come out, it's not that they're dangerous. They just want to play risk. They love that game. It's like, fine. Lord, lordy, lordy, lordy. So we've got some shows to talk about today, boom. Oh, we certainly do. Oh, oh, okay. So as we head into our Shah's recap, I have to give a Shah's out shout out. Sorry, I tried to make that work. Cormac Bluestone, I went to elementary school and middle school with him. And he messaged me last night randomly, which was weird because I was thinking about him earlier in the day. And he, he and his, apparently his wife has been an ardent, I'm sorry, not his wife, his fiance, sorry to rush along the process. She has been an ardent fan of watcher crap and for the longest time. And they both, they both watch Bravo. And I think that Cormac even listens to and they just put two and two together that like Cormac and I went to middle school, whatever. So I said, I would give a shout out to Cormac and his fiancee. So Cormac and fiancee, not that I know your name, fiancee. Shout out. You've been shouted at, at out. That is all out. So is this guy a billionaire? Because that is a rich person named Cormac Bluestone. Cormac Bluestone, that is like somebody who's running the world. He's like part of the Illuminati or whatever. You know, the secret people ruining the world. Sorry, Cormac, running the world. You brought, you brought him up and then you took him down so quickly. So quickly. Don't sign the prenup fiancee, he's rich. I'm looking at Cormac Bluestone on this planet. It's a great name. I've always loved that name, Bluestone. Yeah, so I'll eventually, he's an actor actually. So I guess he could still be the Illuminati. Yeah, that's why he works so much. God damn you, Cormac Bluestone. So we'll find out what the fiancee's name. We work our way up. Next episode, we'll get Cormac's fiancee. But everyone say hi to Cormac and his fiancee and give him a call. Hello Cormac. Hello, Mrs. Future Bluestone. Future Bluestone. I feel like that's the kind of glass that kills the dragons on the Game of Thrones. God, I wish you watched that show. I have no idea what you're talking about. This lady on Game of Thrones this week went through a real house. Okay, skip forward 15 seconds. I'll make it quick if you don't want to spoil her. No, no. This late game of thrones did a very real housewives thing. She took off a necklace and finally showed how old her ass really is. It's like one of these bitches taken off their face. And then you're like, whoa, not only is she really 90, she doesn't even try and have good posture or anything. Once she's in her own bedroom, she's just all hunched up. She looks like the lady who gave snow white that apple. Oh, I think I saw a picture of that. She looks like Gollum. Right? Yeah, she looks like Gollum, yeah. But then with the necklace on, she's all gorgeous. I was like, wow, that is so real housewives. This is so after what happens live stops. This is actually like the perfect segue into Shah's "The Sunset" where it's basically a show about keeping that necklace on as long as possible. So I took sporadic notes because the last few times we've been doing this show, we've just been sort of just going through every character and what they've been up to, right? Shall we, or do you want to start with Dallas? By the way, would you prefer to start with Dallas? Please, honey. You lean. Let's do Dallas. Dallas is more fun. Darlin, let's do Dallas. It's more fun and I watch it this morning. So I'm sorry, this episode is all over the place. I'm talking about us, not Dallas. So it starts off with Brandi. Brandi's missing her husband because he basically doesn't like her and goes out of town all the time. That little ginger fool. Oh, Brandi. So sad. This sad little-- Wow, she talks like this little whisper, little talking. And then she has a drink. She's like, "Wha-hoo!" Yeah. But now she's just-- It's like close out to south of show starts. It's like this weird white people rock music. I don't even know where this music came from, I'm not sure. Uh, I'm obviously going from Aaron. It's comes from Aaron in the garage. Strumming away with his key there in hair. Sad, crackery music. And then it's like closeups of ginger kids missing their teeth. You know, like all the pictures. Yeah. It's like all these pictures of all these little ginger kids. And then Brandi sitting in bed like, "Oh, you're packing to go out of time again." He's like, "Yeah, gotta go out of town." "My husband's busy, but I sure miss him." Doned. Doned. Only ginger kid. Only child. I know. That's pretty much what it was. You know how to start on a bright note. Exactly. That's a sad, sad household. You know when he has more fun going to a courtyard by Marriott than staying with his family? That there's a problem. There's a courtyard there. "I have to never compete." This is the next scene. Did you notice? I don't know why I'm noticing music so much, but the next scene was music that they've been using for years. It's like in the stock file. I did know. What was that from? Is that Orange County music? Yes. Well, I noticed it wasn't the next, well, I don't know about the next next scene, but later on when Brandi and Stephanie went out on their "date." It was total Real Housewives of Orange County music. I was like, "Oh my god, there it is." That's like an Alan Lazar classic. Yeah, I think this was too. It's like, "Doom, doom, doom, doom, doom, doom, doom, doom, doom, doom." I was like, "Wait a second. This is Gretchen's feeling really angry." Yeah. "Steamin' mad." This is a tour through the Gretchen Christine Butte inventory music. "I'm steamin' mad." "Steamin' mad." Oh, I forgot about that one. That should go in the glossary. We need to go through that music again, because that was so much fun. I know. I got to find that link. So, okay, so now in the next scene. The force is leading to Leanne. Yeah, so Leanne is talking about Rich, and like, how hot and handsome Rich is. Now, she didn't want a dame at first, because she just saw a white hair, but then he opened the door and was so handsome. And my favorite part was when she started talking about how wonderful their relationship is and how it's been so great. They started showing photos of them, and for some reason, the first photo they showed was Leanne dressed fully like I Dream of Jeannie. And I don't know why. For some reason, that just like cracked me up. Like, you can take the kid out of the carne, but you can't take the carne out of the kid. Just such a bizarre photo. Well, you know, it was real hard for me to be with someone named Rich, because I'm poor. I mean, it would be more fitting if I just found someone named Bob, and I could just Bob for apples all day. Don't mess with me, or you're gonna pay. [laughs] There's certain rules. If you're gonna Bob for apples, you got to follow the rules. And who the company it keeps dictates the apples he can Bob for, okay? So if you want to Bob for some old Macintosh's, that's fine. But I like to have a red delicious. In the carne, we can't name our children Bob. They've almost drowned. You can't just tell the toddler to Bob. Good lord. I miss you, carne. So she's talking about meeting Rich on E-Harmon, and he's such a dream. I'm like, he was married four times. Exactly. I mean, that's like going on the used section of Craigslist before you check the price of an iPad, and realize months later that you paid the same price. You could have just gotten that shit in the store. Don't start with a man who's been married four times. I don't care how old you are. Yeah, and I'd like Leanne the way she's putting this nice spin on Rich's daughter, Elise. She's like, "Oh, I just adore Rich's daughter, Elise. She is just great. I just love her." I'm like, "Yeah, but what does Elise think about you?" She is probably running for the hills every time you walk to the door. Me and Elise are buds. I love that. I love the Texas terminology. We're good buds. Not buying it, lady. Well, you know, when she wants something, she has to say, when she says something, she has to say it to me, and then all hint to Rich, now I'm calling it Bob, then all hint to Rich, and then I'll just hope he gets the message. You know what I mean? First of all, are you Erica Girardi? Because that's how she is in her marriage, and she's really rich. And sick, do you remember? Do you remember when Elise made you that dad thing? Why am I writing? Do you remember when me and Elise made you a daddy's day shirt? I don't even know what I'm talking about. Carry on. I don't know. I just feel like Leanne has got to be the worst stepmom in the world. I just, she's probably was, like, overbearing and insensitive. Yes, her eyes are popping out, and she's just pretended. She's doing that pretend to be happy. Oh, we love having you here, Elise. Don't we love it? We sure do love it. Oh, Elise, your dinner, Elise. Elise, let's just go be gal pals. Let's go, like, do some crafting. Let's go to Michael's, and we can find all sorts of beads and things and bows. Oh, don't bow for me. Don't you bow at me. Don't you bow at me from Michael's? I'll bow right back at you. What does that mean? Don't you bow at me like a bow and arrow, I guess, right? I have no, I'll look it up right now as we speak, but I've never heard of it before. Don't bow at me. You bow at me, I'll bow right back at you. You wonder why there's no cupid anymore. He's dead, bow at me and rich. Shot him right through the head. Oh, okay, so, E Online. This, E Online, Dallas' Leanne Lachan explains what her bow and me taunt really meant. Okay, I'm opening it up. I've got very slow internet here in NoHo. Like, they don't have, like, wires and cables here. Like, the rest of the... Yes, it's turned you into robotic bois. ♪♪ Sorry, everyone, apparently my NoHo Wi-Fi. As I was talking about how the NoHo Wi-Fi can be a little week at times, it actually just broke. So, we just, we took a 20-minute break in the middle of our Dallas recap, and now we are back. You know, it just hit me that we always apologize. It's not like we inserted just music in there. I have for 20 minutes. But we have to apologize because our flow is different. Things that weird things sound like, we'll be talking about one thing and we come back. We don't even remember what we're talking about. So, let's remember when they had poop on their hat. I think we were trying to look up the definition of "don't bow at me." And I went to... Oh, at me, Ben. And then I went to E.T. online where it said, "Leanne describes it." And then it was just an article saying Leanne was like, "Yeah, it just means you're gearing up for a fight." Well, we're like, "We know that." Anyway, yeah, you went on to ET online and Leanne said The infotainment that you watch reflects on you Your entertainment tonight affects my today you don't know how long those elderly ladies took make an entertainment tonight a thing What's Mary what's her buttons from entertainment? Yeah, yeah, Mary Hart's all yeah with her giant face gigantic smile Yeah, well anyway We can just move on. Sorry now. I'm like sipping a a muscle of milk Not that I have any muscles to to milk, but I know I don't have I don't have my think thin bars today So okay, so now we go to Brandy and Stephanie going out for date night Which what to me was it was noteworthy because this was like the first time that either of them have shot a scene That did not take place at a McMansion, right? This is the first time they were not in like a kitchen or a garage or back to your house Yeah, weren't they taking their kids on car weren't their kids later having around on that car later But right now this right now. They were at like actually like a restaurant I was like they're allowed out of the cul-de-sac like we've only seen them at other people's houses or Tables or something like that. We've never seen them out in society. This is sort of that Restaurant, oh my god, it's it's got to be if not just to have any real housewives shooting in your restaurant But to have those in particular Stephanie doesn't I was practicing it before which means it's totally gone now, but I'm gonna give it a try No, no, that's not it. Not it. It's not a suck in I'm doing the most demented laugh I've ever done No, it's just it's just just everyone just go find a dog give it a chew toy and that's the laugh if we could play this backwards That's yeah, that's reverse It comes out of her throat backwards or something or something really fucking weird about it. It's so weird all the time And it was that dangerous Gretchen song So so we got two dinners going on because while brandy and Steph are at dinner at some someplace without getting sushi then Leanne and rich and at least Chucky cheese or the the steak and griddle. Yeah, they're at the that they're at the foreign 20 whatever it's called but they are They're doing a birthday dinner for a lease and it looks so awkward and boring and Leanne we love having dinner at least we love it. Don't we are such buds. I Hope you like what I got you. It's some Birkin stocks for your big fat feet When I was young rich people weren't even on my radar, but now that Elise is I'm like What are you even talking about? Why do you have to bring up rich people in every sentence? This isn't even about rich people. It's about you having a dinner for your kid who you're pretending to like I know rich people never came to the carnival when I grew up But now that I am out by rich people, I feel like the whole world's a carnival when I was growing up We just called rich kids. They all had the same name mark Never met rich people with so many different names Now all I do is dream of getting on the scrambler with a big old rich man the scrambler one day I'm gonna turn this scrambler where I'm eating right now into a real trip on a scrambler. I Remember the first time I had a fantasy about taking a rich manage the salt and pepper shakers. Oh, that was a great dream If you haven't been married four times, you haven't been married one time if you're a carnival girl So anyway So while Elise is getting her Birkenstocks Then Kerry goes and joins Brandy on staff. She's like oh I just happened to be all dressed up and in the neighborhood So sure I'll come by please tell me that she really got Birkenstocks. Is that what she got? She basically got Birkenstocks. Yeah I mean, I wish I wish I could be so snarky as to come up with like Birkenstocks as the joke But like it's just funny that hippie hippie stuff is finally hit Liam's house But all the kids are wearing these I mean these are crazy when we were in the carnival I would save up. I see all the rich kid with their little smirking stocks smirking little mimic her shoes Mimic and sandals Those real Birkenstocks are those just mimics those mimics of Birkenstocks. I see your I see your shoes are really doing a great job Mimic and Birkenstocks really great mimicers little mimicers. They should you they should call those shoes mimicers Trade market mimicers. I got a new pair of mimicers because they mimic other shoes It's all squishy on the inside though And that's what I love about those shoes because it's their comedy and that's their life. I love that about them That's what I love about them It's your art it's a Rinna. We're slip. I'm gonna slip into Rinna in a minute. It's your art the way that you think I mean Wow, that's your art, baby. I own it. I own it. Don't bow at me real Birkenstocks Don't rent me big Birkenstocks, okay? Don't bow it shoes. Don't bow at me Tiva's So anyway, so okay, so the other girls. So Carrie shows up. She's wearing crazy earrings that look like Samurai stars and They decide well, she's like well, I've been married three times But I never had a bachelorette party like well while we go to the strip club We're being totally spontaneous. This wasn't planned for us by the producers. We're gonna go the strip club So they must have really good laws in the men's favor in Texas Then so many men have been married this many times. How many marriages have there been on this show? Amongst these stars are all like well, I was married three times my husband was married four times Becker My mom had me when she was 12 then my grandma had her again when she was 13 It's like Jesus Christ area types. How many times have you all been married? I know this it's like a Lot one for every spoke and carries earrings. So Anyway, they go to the strip club the shippers I you know I always I'm always in favor of it because I was the one there's like a male strip stripper You know a sequence one of these shows, but I have to say I don't know if you notice it One of those strippers was fully fat and fur. I know you're not that same you got stripper while you're drinking bustle milk I am I am listening to your job if it's your job. You knew it was gonna happen if it's your job You can't be looking like that not like I mean, I understand there's an appeal hot fat stripper be right there Okay, they're still ripped. They still have the implants showing, you know Maybe the fat is just behind their washboard implants because I saw those washboards, but yeah, they were I know well, I was like is he is he built or is he fat as one of those things? But it was a case of he wasn't hired Because he has a relatable body. He was hired because he used to be jacked Relatable, he looks like he could lift a car. He's just you know be fear He just you know bra just unless and I'm sure he's totally sexy in person But I'm just saying you're on Bravo. You have to like, you know, you have to be toned up You're not like a podcaster like like we are listen if people are gonna make that street on Potomac look like it's Fancy diamond dripping street then I'm gonna get a fat person from Texas stripping from a damn it. Yeah Well sort of brandy got up on stage and unleashed her inner Camille grammar and just went nuts on the stripper and I said you You go girl as my mom said this weekend. I was like mom did you just really say you go girl? My mom also said bling this weekend. I don't know what is happening. I don't know what is going on wait until your mom hears about American stocks She's a good mimic her. That's why my mom's a good mimic or with slion So they're going to the strip clubs, and I love that Carrie's like, you know the strip club is there's just gonna be it's just gonna be t-bags Brandi was that girl who just goes way way too far in the strip club. She was cleaning the the floor with her hair She was she was up on his cheek and everything she was going pretty far like maybe probably was not the most appropriate behavior you you know how the strippers are going to look to the rest of their Neighbors because you behave like this in their strip club you are who you strip for okay? Well, she did say earlier. She's like we're real good friends me stiffening like we get white girl wasted and this is white girl wasted And then the next scene My husband's mad at me Well, so then the next thing that actually does happen though is well, we will get to that, but Tiffany Tiffany shows up at Leanne's house And Leanne serves her basically a goblet of wine She's it's a full on giant wine glass that she fills with half a glass of boons farms, so I wrote this note that I said suddenly Tiffany is like it's a joke Oh, oh about the poop so they're talking about the the mad hatter event that they went to last week Yes, where I have I have to ask you a question. Yes, of course is Leanne gonna give dogs her biscuits or her dogs biscuits in every Opening everything everything for giving something to those dogs. I Think she wants to show that she's actually charitable This is how you get into society. You have to feed dogs biscuits These biscuits cost ten percent of my income. I know this cuz I'm a good mimic her. I know what they do I know what society does Oh, that's all you see is her feeding fucking dogs. I know every single scene So it was weird though because they're talking about how Carrie put the poop on the On the chair at the mad hatter thing the fake poop and Tiffany was like yeah, but it was only a joke I'm like wait, you were you were the one who was also pissed off. What since when did you become it's a joke, you know Tiffany Funny, but wasn't funny, but it was rude You are responsible for who you show up with that is part of society How do you think I look with you laughing at people like that now? I look terrible like I know someone who would like something like that Yeah, by the way lady the way to get into society is not to be sitting around to the back backyard of your brick house With giant gallons of boons farms that you're guzzling with your friend. Okay, that propane tank is leaking lady Yeah, that is that what you're doing right now is not an example of society And I love her Texas talk of how she's just being nice Like I need to talk to those girls. I can only have a clear conscience if I you know if I give them the information You are responsible in Dallas You are judged by who you associate with you know, it was total You don't remind me of it was a total flashback to Andrea on season one of real housewives of Melbourne Which is like I'm just gonna give us some advice. Oh, she needs some info I'm just gonna give us some friendly voice. Yeah, just a little advice It's gonna give you some advice. They're like you're a terrible person Yeah, it's your advice. Gina. I just have a little bit of friendly advice for you. Just a little bit of friendly advice You know what I call a little bit of advice something friendly to do Well Leanne stop talking about advice That's your advice because you're saying in Dallas you're judged by who you associate with but you're sitting there next to Tiffany Yeah, you lose You know the thing is that I actually get the feeling like Leanne could be super fun and funny And like the star of the show But she kind of can't get over her own shit, you know, she's in her own way and therefore she's actually the villain Yeah, I love it. Great way. Great way. She's like my hero villain. If I were a real housewife, I would be hurt Yeah, so then meanwhile twiddle-dee and twiddle-dumb frickin frack Stephanie and Brandy They are once again hanging out on the stoop while their kids go Flying down the street in this car, which you know, if one kid was in it that'd be that that's like fine It's still kind of dangerous But you got two kids in the front and you got two kids hanging off the back Like there are gonna be a few broken arms by the end of the scene and they go flying off into traffic practically and the model is like Coast darling. I mean in Texas a little baby car where kids are literally sitting on the the trunk of the car or whatever That's just hilarious and you'll see it. It was the same thing It was it felt like to me like they were recreating the beach scene and she's all that You know when they all drive up in the Wrangler and Paul Walker rest in peace is there, you know, and they all play volleyball That's what it was. It's like little kid version of she's all that Those kids were hanging off the back Go drive around the highway a few times we'll be here drinking Hit by like a tiny little car or a bike or something like that in Texas. You're gonna be hit by a Mack truck of a car I know I feel like also when the car eventually came back. There were only three kids in it I was like what happened to ginger number three number four He just got swooped up. They hit this big truck that is like Snatch the kid right off the back of the car He's already like you know, he already struck oil somewhere, so He's already making millions at the end of the street So now we learned that brand-use husband Brian He's upset about the strip club because he doesn't like that she went out and did that and her theory is that you know They used to go out together all the time now. He doesn't so it's sort of jealous. I'm like whatever. It's your fault husband He's this show. Yeah, you were you're cleaning the floor with your hair in the strip club And just before that you were gluing shit to hats at charity parties. He's gonna love this show Oh, yeah No, they're gonna be divorced by the end of the year like a hundred percent when she said that she's that he's concerned about his Reputation at the business with business his reputation. I was like, okay. Well, you're divorced now You're you actually now just got divorced because you're on a reality show, okay, and that is the least of your concerns with the strip club Okay, you better start. So I friend some money Yeah, yeah, I guess yeah put some in the mattress because and put them then put the mattress somewhere because you're not even You have to keep the mattress. I love the support a friend Stephanie Got them even understand how guys and girl street clouds. You say different. I mean guys are just like in sync They were even fat Statute supports is breaking through walls. Oh, yes Tiffany's house. Oh Yeah, and even better not just Tiffany's house her garage where Aaron's been relegated to sing on his dual singing You're an October girl October is my time of girl Yeah, October October and then he whips out the harmonica girl You better shut up about October. Nobody wants to rock after thinking about October. It's a cold month It's about to turn winter. Yeah, it's haunted at the end of it, too Tiffany's like making cocktails in the kitchen and humming along. You know, she is I mean she's one thing I love about Tiffany is that she's such a cougar even though she's not a cougar even though her husband They're the same age. He has just has you know a facelift like she though is such a Texas cougar, you know Yeah, and she's so she's so into her young man staff. She's not October. That's right My man sings something about October The biggest bottle a skinny girl marker. Yes, I thought I was like I think that's skinny girl, but the but the logo is blurred out. I was like the Costco size Skinny girl. I've never seen that before. Yeah So my favorite part is so, you know She's saying how she's you know She her whole thing and she feels bad because she dragged him out of out of LA to Dallas because she wanted to come home So she sits there and she's like yeah, you know Thinking about how you're really trying to you know make inroads in the music scene here And I was thinking about for me like how like and here's at this point I thought she was gonna say how I want to help you I want to see what I can do to contribute and she's like and for me I want to get into the charity scene just like how you want to get in the music scene I was like oh, okay. Well, I guess you're not planning to help him that much But I was wrong because then she's like I want to throw a charity man and then you can play it It could be a charity concert. Oh good. I'll put on a show that you can play Yeah, great. No way to make a man feel more like a man and then of course, he's like It'd be great actually because it's right. I wanted to do playing myself for big gig I can't wait to finally get to play in the foyer and set the garage To be a big move in my career. Mm-hmm. I hear a Potomac. They got a great foyer scene Hey, listen, am I gonna have to hear the sand? Oh, I'm sorry I was wrong guy am I gonna have to hear the sand at the bowling book the bowling pins being re-racked? All right, so Tiffany She's like it was kind of sad. She's like she's like yeah Now that once I throw a charity that and then I'll finally get some respect cuz everyone hates me Like aww Tiffany Well, it would help if she didn't walk out like well I came from L.A. Where I did 19 lines of coach In the bathroom in L.A. I mean I was past that on the floor He literally got peace sprinkles on me woke me up and now look at us. I'm gonna be together forever I like to do a line of cocaine for every year. I was in L.A. That was almost 16. So there you go Walk it away from me. Where you going? All right, call me I just wanted to say that she She's like I'll be a responsible to help him. Wait. Oh god damn it I interrupted you and then I interrupted myself Well, that's what you get no so um oh here it is and she when she says look I know what everybody thinks about me. I'm the thin young one with a hot husband I love what people do that that and they just say fine. I'm just out impossibly gorgeous import from Los Angeles You know, what can I do? No one takes them seriously. What should I do about Lee Ann? He's like well in Australia We've got a saying run Yeah, well, this is what gets me so excited. Okay. I've talked about this so many times about various reality shows I probably mentioned my theory. I don't know if it's even a theory But one of my favorite tropes motifs whatever conceits storylines in reality TV is when Um, there's a sidekick and a master. I always call them the master So Lee Ann's like the master and Tiffany's the sidekick and we're a sidekick Gets their own wings or attaches onto a different master. It makes for the best Shit ever like the best sorority life season one. I know I've talked about this on this podcast before sorority life season one was all about um A sidekick finding a new master Pretty much the hills the hills was all about the sidekick master divorce because it's always rocky It there's always these crazy rifts. I mean you look at lc and Heidi. Okay. I mean, it's just it's it's the best. Oh my god Yeah, it's one of the best effort. It's like Robin finally, you know getting away from Kermit Yes, is that who you're talking about? Yes, totally. Okay. I wasn't sure if it was a different robin Oh, you're gonna say Batman? I mean, is there is there even another robin from Robin? Like it's been eclipse guys That's why there's so many songs about rainbows. There should be a robin switch You know like suddenly batman sidekick is is muppet robin And then batman robin is muppet show muppets have come a lot recently come up a lot. So anyway um The reason why i'm saying all this is because tiffany is clearly Trying to You know distance herself from leant she's already starting to put these seeds in like well You know, I like lean but she's a lot. Oh, yeah, I like lean but you know she's always up here You know she's always under fights, whatever, you know, I like you know, she is getting there I don't want to live in the past like lean. Okay, lens pants wasn't spent on bathroom floors Norton things mean strange people. I don't want to live in the past like land. I want new friends like that better Like carry suddenly tiffany is all up care his ass. She's like, well, you know what? I love that carry She's sort of young and hip. She looks so good. Oh, she looks great. I love that carry Well that carry like she used to have a guy and she wanted him to be something else and boom now He's something else now. He's walking around bat, you know, he's not singing songs about october in a garage Um, sorry, I just got to try to kiss my phone rang and it was not leeann on the phone which i was hoping for I was hoping to achieve me out um tiffany is having a rubber to tape a youtube show. Yes, and This is called the style sanctuary or the sanctuary style Okay, why are strippers and like hooker-ish people so obsessed with church? Themes, I don't know. It's a strange bordello shit. Yeah, it's it's so old. They're like wow cross Sanctuary the sanctuary stilettos. Oh, shut up. Yeah, I you know, um, I I was wondering what the sanctuary of style thing was This where like style goes to take a rest It goes to pray for itself. Yeah, please forgive me. Yeah, so um, so anyways, I'm an accessory whore. Okay I'm like in LA. That's when I was a whore. Like it's just different like this is different, you know She is so up carries ass. She is she's just she just wants carry to be her new master She loves that carries attractive. She's really obsessed the fact that carries attractive And uh, she just keeps on gushing about the closet and everything And I was I was really confused until a little bit later on jumping ahead when then she asked mark She's like hey mark. Can you do something about this thing under my chin? I was like, oh, I see you just want a free consultation I get it all It'll be for charity Yeah, I'm gonna wear I'll wear my new chin out of the charity event. You can even put a boob in it Okay So tiffany has a fashion blog, which is like the new the new bravo thing for bored housewives Like they have a fashion blog as if it's gonna do anything The rest of the world too. It's just called instagram. Yeah, exactly. I mean we have Stasi has a fashion blog katie has a fashion blog Pandora sort of has a fashion blog What's christin takeman has a fashion blog Uh juliette from ladies of london has a fashion blog and now tiffany has one Don't forget hashtag bell peppers Hashtag yoga upside down on oriental rug hashtag rug hashtag. That's not a fashion blog. That is a fashion lifestyle brand That is a hashtag. How lucky are you to read my instagram? How lucky are you to be tagged with a hash? But like any good person any good youtube channel is created by the man holding the flip phone The video camera which in this case is erin what's his buns october october lady And mark works out and mark turns out the the uh fat shamed x fat husband tends to of course Be the one who knows everything about fashion. Yeah, exactly He's obsessed with uh women's clothes and he pretty much shakes over this little interview But I will say by the way tiffany was really good on camera. She was really good as like a little hostess I can I feel like I can really see her as the uh Local news entertainment reporter, you know like you know how abc here in la has like abc On the red carpet or something like that. I can imagine her being dialysis Red carpet correspondent, you know like way before the you know the people from i'm trying to think of little cable stations But it's like all the way at the end right before the carpet starts like hi Good to see you. Okay, you're going to be asked a lot of questions, but okay. Hi. Hi. Great. Good to see you Hi, this is tiffany Hendrels With with fashion by dallas. What do you have to say about your look right now? Great. Great. Great What's your favorite month mine is october? Okay, keep walking So great to see you again. This is tiffany Hendrels reporting from the dallas dannies that just opened up red carpet fiesta You know a lot of movies are opening this weekend But you're not going to see them because you will be at the new haunted dealership in my brought mr Hi, we have a scoop here on tiffany's red carpet This is chauncey who works in the parts and labor department of the haunted dealership that just opened up Hi chauncey tell us what do you like more breaks or shocks breaks or shocks Welp chauncey was going to answer that. Okay chauncey. Okay. Well, okay chauncey. Oh, he is just great What a lovely man chauncey chauncey. What are you wearing? Greece. Oh, okay. I haven't heard of that designer before. Okay, great Love the movie Got chauncey or chauncey. Hey chauncey chauncey. This is uh, this is tiffany Hendrels You may remember me from the haunted dealership. How are you so good to see you on the red carpet again Do you mind if I ask you a few questions? No. Okay chauncey. Okay For tiffany Actually, we give her a lot of shit. She probably doesn't Do you any I don't even think I can nail her actual voice if it was played. No, I can't my my accent's all over the map It's probably good viewing as your Georgia and into London But you know what? No, but I'm being totally serious. She actually was really good on camera like as as like a hostess Yeah, I think she was too. He's like or hold on a minute. They don't change the site Gotta move some stuff to our cloud. Yeah, I did love how kara was making fun of her husband She keeps on calling him her wife, which could be totally Masculating but it sort of works and I love about when she goes after the interview since he pretty much took it over He's she just goes if he had hair he'd flip it Yep The emasculation seems to be kind of what he's into. Yeah, I think he's such a so charmed by her She's like this guy this loser, huh? Yeah, my right guys my right Don't worry. He's not gay. I still have to fuck him. My rock girls. He's like, oh, you're so funny, honey So then we um go back to brandy's house brandy's storyline was all sorts of sadness every scene was sad So how can you be sad when a scene opens with a close-up of a jug of teetos being ported exactly big old bloody mirrors coming down the pike So I don't know what these are but really because you just saw her put vodka and tomato juice in the blender dodo What do you think they were? I call it a bleeding tanya. No, it's a bloody mirroring crazy having a mystery drink with mama, right? I call it tomato surprise So this scene was weird because the mom is like confessing that the dad her father didn't disown the grandkids because Of the reason she said it's not because she had them when she was 16 It's really because she chose sides in the divorce and she chose her mom's side and refused to talk to the grandpa Yeah, yeah, exactly So it was sort of like a sad thing where basically the mom who reminded me somewhat of like Judith ivy meets cherry jones Starts talking about like yeah How she basically cut her dad out and now the dad is trying to get back into the laws and she starts crying and it's kind of sad But she's so texas with how she says it Well, I don't know how you got the idea that we didn't talk to him because he refused to speak me after I got pregnant When I was like, I don't know when you thought when you got the idea this was all your fault Because you told her I don't know how you thought that I don't know why Something I don't know how you got that idea maybe it's because you've always been a little stupid, you know But that's not your fault. That's mine for having bad jeans to pass along to you. Do you pretty much? That's a pretty huge thing second Okay, then bring him over. Yeah So then we uh go back to uh The sanctuary of style shoe and say afterwards they're hanging out and uh tiffany is still just like loving Carrey, etc And I love how tiffery tiffany told the story about how she met Aaron and she's like well I was on the way to chin chin And I was in such a rush and he was in a rush. We just ran into each other. We're married four months later. I'm like, listen Nothing good has ever come from going to chin chin. All right, so don't the laws talk as much I got into you that terrible salad was the start of a beautiful thing. I'll give you that chin chin It's so funny how I was going to chin chin when we first met because I was just thinking I want to do something with my chin Can you do you have for me doctor? And carrey uh Carrey's like well, I've been married three times. I mean look I didn't look at mark and think he was perfect I mean, look at him. Just look at him. You know, I knew you had I have to mold him I I was married three times. I learned to mold the man. Okay change a fucker. It's like god. So romantic carrey I know she doesn't even talk like that by the way. She has no accent Does does she ever wonder why her second husband shrub just disappeared I think it's pretty evident that was her story. She was like well the first one We were just young the second one three months later. I came home and he was just gone And then I'll ban mark this fat guy in some grocery store made him get thin be a doctor. Here we are Yeah, that's definitely is like if my husband ever went and disappeared on me I would kill him. I mean, I would have to find him then I'd kill him Here Back here I can't do her laugh. It's too far removed. I need to be I need to hear it again No, sorry, sorry listeners. Sorry listeners. I know the last thing you need to hear is something that sounds like you're real falling off in your car Yeah, I can't do it I can't do it Um, so then uh now tiffany goes over to lian's house And of course lian has like these bins and bins of things that have to be donated to charity Liana totally the friend that invites you over on the pretense of I just have a few things I need you to help me with and then it's like mixing, you know, you're lugging out bin after bin after bin And mixing, you know, you're holding one of those l brackets and they're making you put together ikea bullshit Yeah, exactly. So uh tiffany, you know, like she's you know, she's still a sidekick So she's kind of floating the idea by lian that she's interested in being friends with kara You know, she sort of wants to kind of get her approval and lian is like no no no no no no Those girls, I mean you think you think she's funny. How you think it's funny to put poop in someone's chair I mean, what are they gonna do next burp the alphabet? She's literally gonna burp out the alphabet. I know like man, you're a little too good at that actually They're not even gonna burp it right. They'll probably have to take breaths in between if you're gonna be a real lady You got to burp the entire thing a to z She does the whole she does the whole what you need to learn is your reputation is based on your france thing again And then she goes well. I need to help these girls Okay, if if you're gonna be friends with them, then I need to step in and let them know how the rules work Yeah, the rules the rules. I don't like drama. Okay, that's why there's a sign on my door that says I don't like drama Well, she had that very strange metaphor that where she was like, that's why there's a door on this house Because if you have drama You stay out you don't get to come through the door, but you have no drama You compress the doorbell and then i'll open the door and then i'll check your bags for drama And then i'll notice that i may be i may seem dramatic right now, but i'm doing it in the backyard Okay, yeah, notice i'm outside the drama's outside Only nothing but comedy inside, and you know, I just love your comedy. That is what makes you special your comedy. You're such a good mamaker This girl to fanny wants to kill herself. This isn't gonna work out No, it's gonna be a disaster So then we go to brandy and her husband and they're in the kitchen and they're talking in hushed tones for no reason The kids are out of the house. She's like, hi. How's it going? Good. How are you? Good? I was making a house getting my girls ready and you know Well, the gas isn't working. I already told you that And I was like, well, she didn't even make a fart joke. So this is really dramatic Yeah, he was doing a metaphor about their marriage by the way So then he's then she's like so I found out that my grandpa Turns out that he wants to meet us Because it was my mom keeping him away this whole time not him So he's gonna come by it's gonna be a pretty important life thing for me And I think it's gonna be pretty emotional. He's like All right, I'll try to make it But they do have some new coffee filters at the best western I'll be saying it. So I might not be able to make it He doesn't even pretend like he doesn't even pretend to be nice. He's like, yeah. Oh, you know what? I forgot I had a conference call. Yeah, I forgot that. Yeah. Oops. I have a conference call with Mallory Colin Stein So We're gonna mail her. We're not gonna call each other and talk about things now. So Give me a shout when you decide to stop whisper crying So parry and Stephanie Um, what are they having? Okay, so they're lunch. This is the big the big power lunch We're just gonna show them show them the rules Teach them just tell them what people are saying and teaching things about what's appropriate Usually on these shows they're like, um, you you better stand up for yourself. I will stand up for myself You better I will I will too and then the person comes in they're like we love you Yeah, and it seemed like it was gonna be like that because she does walk up and of course they're like Hi But it had a nice turn to it. Yeah, well because basically lands like listen I'm not here to scold you or have a bitch session I'm just here to tell you what people are saying and just sort of give you a heads up about what's appropriate And you know what dog. People's not appropriate. That is not appropriate is they're elderly women. Well, totally woman But this together that's not appropriate. It's not appropriate. It's not appropriate. I Do you do you all do you all have the internet where you live? Because if you did and you were looking on the if the headlines this week You would know what I mean when I'm saying this is inappropriate She hands out she whips out these Xerox print of these like ink ink gin print and things or whatever enhance them over and she's like Look at what my friend wrote The TMZ of the charity world. Yeah, brandy's hat made charity TMZ shocker. So good. Okay, so as a gift I pressed pause and I screenshot the screen shot. Oh good after you did to you Please because it was too much picture of brandy with her Her hat. Yeah, there was some fabulous hats. I'm guessing these are the big queens that leanne went in tattle, too But I don't know. Yeah, there was some fabulous hats most of the really outlandish were created by professional designers And some real whack of feudal creations. I heard that one woman had read that in france You don't have to pick up your dog poop So she used floral moss to create her quote unquote garden and used plastic pieces of dog poop on her hat as a joke Some didn't find it amusing particularly when a piece of the fake poop ended up on one woman's chair cal whole rur Okay, and there's another photograph Candy evin showed up with a real live parrot perched atop her head and confessed she was terrified the whole time Not that it would fly away What a confetti would cause Apparently the bird has a real potty mouth not to fear if the bird was very well behaved and kept quiet Although it did poop on her So now that was real poop, okay That is not it's about appropriateness. I love that. Well, obviously leanne was I mean Yeah, leanne obviously was the spoke speaking to these guys because no one would have known about the poop on the chair Unless leanne had gone and told them and he didn't even or her I don't even know who wrote this but they they're not even really that scared and I loved that the entire tmz for charities about shit even even the That the woman was more scared that the parrot would curse than shit on her. I would be afraid of the shit the entire time the entire time Oh, that is so good. I love that. That's our real fucking blog So you charity I know and I love that leanne just goes on and on about appropriate. She just mentions appropriate every single every single sort of Virgin conjugation of appropriate. She uses appropriate nast appropriate. That was that wasn't done appropriately everything is appropriate appropriate appropriate just goes on and on and women are just like Staring at her like what the fuck? This is appropriatity Yeah, they're like, well, we we just like her. We think she's fine. That's uh, we're not gonna judge They were kind of like And they were kind of grossed out by her but then leanne just kept getting more and more because these ladies were not Just saying yes ma'am. Yes ma'am. You know, they were being like bad Lisa They're like, we don't care about what they think about us. That's got leanne so mad and then she eventually that's when she eventually just goes Bow at me bow at me because I'll bow right back at ya You're a little bitch. I'll sharpen my bow. See how that goes for you. I don't give a fuck Wow, you're so classy. You're in public yelling. I don't give a fuck and threatening to kill people right? I know well, there's an old lady right behind you Meanwhile, I like kara you. I think it was in the interview. It was just like whatever. She's a carney kid Which is what will always happen to leanne no matter what leanne does how high she rises people are just like No, she was a carney kid and then she's one of those people everyone always holds it against me that i'm a carney kid Did i tell you about that time of the carney? Okay. Thank you for coming to the aids charity. Let me talk about my time of the carney Uh, I also really liked I think it was Stephanie who said if she wants to wear a hat with hidden poop in it Then that's her thing I was like, you know what this show is hilarious the fact that sentence could ever happen Means that there's a subtle brilliance to real housewives of dallas and caries argument Now if she wore a dildo that would be inappropriate Yeah Well, the thing is we forgot to mention that leanne did bring the poop She actually that which meant that she actually kept the poop all that time Yes, and she pointed it like a weapon shot. Look at this. Look at this poop Do you think this is appropriate she's like, uh, you're holding that rat in the middle of uh dinner table in public So, well, I'm holding it show you if you don't see shit, then you must acquit I'm gonna write that down. That's no good. I She comes up with everything tell rich So, um, well, the best part was that you know, then leanne's going on another on about like how you get into society That's not what society does and care is like, um, hello. You have to be born into society You have to have billions of dollars you can't you can't get into society you have to be born into it and leanne's like no No, you get into it. You can get into it. You can get into it. You can get into it She's like, well, I don't want to fight with you leanne. Oh, this is not fighting if you think this is a fight You don't know me bitch. This was four one one. It's gonna be a nine one one This is just a good mimic of the fight. That's all it's just a good mimic because that's my arts my comedy god bless it How are people my in love with this shit? But by the way, by the way This was a significant moment because it's the first time on any of these shows That a woman has acknowledged that she is not in high society that she is You know second to your or nouveau reach because all these women on all the real house All these things are always acting as if they're at the height of society when you know That real high society just totally looks down on them and things. They're all you know shameful human beings Out of it. She's like these people think that they're in charities because they're rich i'm in charities because i work hard Uh actually charities are for rich people like literally chariot charities are for rich people for poor people Yeah, I mean has she ever seen down nabi? She needs to she needs to understand these things. I'm not saying don't have pride in your work mrs Whatever does it does? I'm just saying it downstairs. Yeah, yeah So that was a dallas for this week always hilarious just Every single every single thing about it is hilarious. Mm-hmm. Yeah, i'm loving me some dallas Yeah, yeah People watch it watch it everyone because i don't think it's doing well in the ratings And you know when we love a show Usually doesn't come back. So please people watch it do it worth a poop hat poop hat. So uh speaking of poop hats Let's go to shaz's sunset This episode is called poop hat poop hat it's brought to you by poop hat poop hat dot com slash crappins gate get $10 off your next order at poop hat dot com Yeah, let's let's move from the poop hat show to some chick and straw hair jerking off Uh with desserts to get her husband spermming in a cup. Yeah, that's mj So we'll just go through the characters. So for mj this episode her big thing is that she's thinking about having a baby with tommy And so uh, but they but she but they want to make sure tommy sperm is uh up to snuff So since he's gonna have yo good because because you know, we got it. We got to test my sperm What is her eating yogurt and granola? I have to do with you Hey, that's granola sort of soggy. Have you noticed how soggy this granola is? It's kind of crazy Yeah, it's wet. Yeah, eating that mushy granola. I like it. It's mushy like you. I want to say what else it between you and shove it in and out You know what I like also cream of wheat, but I like to call it cream of tommy if you know what i'm saying I got a jerk off in the cup. I've been there done that. I got the jerking off part down pat, baby I've been practicing my whole life for this moment So she decides every season has to have a plot about mj trying to commit somebody that she sexy with these fucking printed canvases. Yeah Yeah, so she decides to do some boudoir photos so that way That way uh tommy can jerk off to them when he's but it's like desert stuff and and uh resis Well, the problem is that reza was was directing the photoshoot So he basically has her slather honey on her face and stick a banana in her mouth So she just looks ridiculous It's it's as far from sexy as it could be it's like some weird john waters Crazy ship in the 70s. We have to keep putting the banana back in her mouth because she keeps biting it off That's a Persian that's an impression like in post with the banana like the persons keep eating it That's so Persian home girl just keeps eating the banana like like who does that? That's like a crazy thing like don't do that here put some honey on your face Like if vida were here should be like should have like home girl what no It's basically like porn like americans. They would just like finger their vagina or whatever would be porn But like persons like we just eat like it's just crazy and reckless because there's no paper towels around So Persian like if this camera had more memory like I would have mj Totally put crusty rice on her face because that is like so Persian. That is so hot Like you can't believe she even ate vanilla. That's so like home girl. That's so like white girl like Whatever we're pursuing So it's like a terrible terrible photoshoot and uh like like she's putting Whipped cream on her boobs sort of but just looks like a weird whipped cream bikini. It was She looks like the jello the jello tray at luby's. It's just like wobbles with a bunch of like weird uh Whipped cream peaks with cherries on top. No. Yeah, so that was not that was that was not great But I guess it got the job done because tommy jerked off happily But whoa. Yeah got a dog cream. Yeah It's like I like the whipped cream, but I wish you put no law on herself So the other thing with um mj She was involved in two different things two additional things the first thing is gg She gets into a weird fight with gg because you know how this show works is every other season mj and gg Have to hate each other. So we're in one of those seasons. And so um they basically everybody hates mj Or gg. She's really fun to get wasted with And reza will always be her friend even though he betrayed her for a year. Yeah. Well, I mean There's something what likes her. It's just a rotating door between who's on the outs with the group It's mike. It's gg or it's mj. It's always those three and uh reza decides basically who's gonna be the outcast so right now it's gg because she is got she's got rheumatoid arthritis and um Is in pain and is drinking to deal with the pain and also because she's crazy in fact in the beginning of the episode she and shirvin go to get the um Stitches out from her latest surgery and she's like she's getting it pulled out and she's being overly dramatic and my favorite part Was as the doctor is playing at the stitches. She's like Feels like my vagina's being pulled through my mouth and the doctor's like totally different area I'm taking stitches out of your finger Fucking a like my vagina sweating and my like pussy like everything is sweating. It's like oh Yeah, it's just your hand like the dryness when my father was sweating both of them were sweating on each other like what the Fuck man. Yeah, I love when she gets all chola. I know she's she's ridiculous So then so hand for her ham stitches. Yes So then gg and so gg and mj go to uh go to dinner at at berries on is it Beverly or third? I forget but um There's no they're they don't serve booze there So gg is already mad and they're talking and at one point as they should because mj did it on purpose Yeah, I got lit on yelp to find a place. It didn't serve alcohol. Yeah So so mj is talking about tommy and gg is you know, she basically is like um Like how do you know that he's not going to cheat on you the way the last guy did but she says it in a way The way she says it is in it's more of a snotty way She's just kind of like so if we tell you that he's sleeping around with someone Are you gonna believe us this time? And so mj's like no And then they get into a fight because mj is like that was a really foul thing for you to say Why would you say that about tommy? He's the love my life? And they start bickering and gg's like I was just trying to make conversation At which case mj's like no, you're lying. I can see it all over. It's in your dna So then gg says oh, it's in my dna. You know where I get dna from? It's my parents. Do you want to insult my parents now? You're insulting my parents This is the most she does have a point though because mj just She's like, how are you? She's like, oh good. You know running a household Taking care of my boyfriend juggling family household and a boyfriend gg's like, uh-huh So are you not seeing me because you're afraid Basically gg told her that the last guy was fucking around so yeah mj even though the guy was fucking around now mj is mad at gg Because gg's the one he told her. Yeah, which is not fair But also gg, you know did it and had a lot of fun. It was probably like a barbecue. She's like you want a hot dog? Oh, yeah, your boyfriend is putting his house. I can other people. That's right. I said it. Yeah, that's exactly. It probably how it went down So they're all terrible as usual on the shavs You can't even really stick up for anybody because they're all they're all like exactly because gg's sort of in the right And yet she's awful at the same time and the fact that she does this whole thing Like oh you didn't sell my parents now. You didn't sell my parents. Well, you know where dna comes from It's from their parents too. So they're basically insulting everyone for the past 400 years. So thanks a lot You're gonna you're you're gonna sell Watson and krick now because they found dna Is that what you're gonna do? You didn't sell Jurassic park because they made dinosaurs out of dna. Is that what you're gonna do now? Calling dinosaur's liars. Is that what you're gonna do? Got a problem with dna You're a stilting dna. Oh, yeah, you want a piece like, you know, it's not gonna end well when those scene begins with her Holding a knife to her teeth like she's checking her teeth Also just burying that knife. Nothing ever ends well in that exactly is the opening so meanwhile the other Uh, we're having some issues with reza and adam team gay Because reza's like hey honey I want to show you the sort of house that i'd like to move into and it says butt ugly concrete cube of modernism Well, what are we gonna move in like i want to move into a house too? We will oh you're gonna show me a house I'll let you show me a house if like i let you Yeah, because i called him a pussy. So now he's trying to fight about nothing Exactly. Well, well, but the funny thing is that adam's like, you know what? I wanted a house. I want an aviary I want an aviary in rooftop garden an aviary I don't think that's a feature that comes with a lot of houses Well, that guy does love just cleaning up shit. Yeah, well, but to be fair. I mean It was a butt ugly house that reza showed him. I mean, of course adam's gonna be like, I don't want this It was a house without wood This house like there's no wood like what's so american? He's like what about the gravel? Don't you like the gravel? That's so Persian to like little stones Oh, he goes don't you like it madam goes. I like the gravel So yeah, then then they get into it and the funny thing is reza's like he's not liking anything I like for some reason. I'm like that's because you have really terrible taste. Have you seen the shirts you've been wearing lately? You also just drove him up to a cement box with little holes in it. There's not even any windows There's like little holes that you it's a concrete box or thing for adam He's like, I want to live on a street like this. They call it skid row. Why don't you like it? That's so Persian Oh, really? Maybe because it's a row and it's like whatever skid like whatever you say I guess so I guess that is what they call it then Adam fighting with every stupid little thing. I know but the thing is that adam I get the sense that adam has been sort of cranky ever since the wedding was called off and rightfully so I would be cranky too I would have trust issues and so when he had the conversation with mj last week where mj was like listen, you know reza's very dominant Like don't be afraid to speak up. I don't think that that was shady or manipulative by the way I think it was a pretty I think it was like pretty sage advice And so later on when adam and reza are getting ready to go to mike's shabat because mike is having shabat He's bringing the whole gang back together because mike mike has had a realization that He's been living his life by half-assing everything and relying on charm quote unquote charm and so now um I just realized it. Yeah, he just realized that he's been loafing through life And so reza's like that's all I want to do here. So now mike and reza are quote unquote reza rek did get it so um So yeah, so now to celebrate this she's having shabat. So on the way to shabat dinner Uh reza's getting ready and adam's like, you know what like mj was talking to me I'm being really shady. She was like telling me things about having to stand up for myself And i'm like that's not shady at all. She was giving you good advice And now you're out and you're making her sound like she was being a shady bitch. That's not right Yeah, he immediately turns like why is she trying to cause parts? She can't stand to see somebody else happy like is that what she's doing? Reza. It's like jesus christ. He knows that you can't get residified with him So I guess he's gonna make mj do it adam jesus christ get a job already I know adam seriously this woman actually had your back in a in a good way and she was not She wasn't undermining you I don't know about that like i'm i'm with you for the most part. She didn't give about it Terrible advice, but she's not friends with adam that's true you're right she's doing it because Reza's sitting right out there and she knows that reza's about to have a secret wedding that she doesn't agree with which i'm with her I think i'm with her a hundred percent a hundred percent She's like trying to go about it in this way where you know what i don't agree with it But adam is a pussy and he doesn't do shit adam doesn't do anything so except daydream about aviaries And he's allowed to have he's allowed to not want to do anything and just be you know controlled by some man Why can only women do it? Yeah, well, that's the thing I think that's probably why he added mj because you know at at it's at his heart He's a team gay who wants to have a dominant daddy to to you know rule the roost and it's almost like him speaking up is probably Makes him feel weird so he's gonna blame it on mj and then go back to normal Yeah, he's always gonna choose his daddy and guess what so is mj She will always choose reza side over adam's too So they might as well not even waste each other damn time Yeah, so now it's time for shabat dinner at mike's place So there's nice spread up next to the chain link fence Um, and I will say by the way, you know as much as we talk about jesica She did put out a really it looked like a really excellent spread so you know Mazel tov jessica did a very nice job for shabat dinner So it was her training person Yeah, she'll be able to get a person with a lot more money now She knows how to make a whole spread and please all sides of the family good training mike. Yeah, exactly So, uh everyone's there including bobby and asifah and you know what the worst part about this I was taking my notes on my phone because I was watching on the laptop My phone knows how to spell asifah now like asifah is an autocorrect suggestion And I'm so upset about that Sucks because does your phone why I guess phones do do that where you're trying to just have a nice time And then it's like your phone's like ding ding ding ring ring Like being obnoxious for no reason Listen, my phone doesn't know birthday. I write happy birthday. Oh, well, no not birthday I write happy birth dad all the time and my phone's like did you mean tomato? But I tell you I write like asa qua and they're like, you don't you mean asifah from shazu sunset? like yelling at you Like asifah, they're trying to have a nice dinner. So how's everybody doing? She's like gg. It's a mess She physically violated me like she put her hands on me and then they cut to a picture or a video of her Rubbing her rubbing the cake on gg. Yeah, and then and then asa then when it comes back I was like she did throw cake at me. She did like oh you're really holding on to this, aren't you? I love that it was even a mystery in their world because I thought that Gg did and you're like no it was some random person who threw the cake at her It's like the big cake mystery one of our listeners said she went back and and she said when she went back and looked at it And it was gg. So, you know, there's a lot of a lot of controversy over this cake situation Um, so they're of course all talking about gg, which is this gang's favorite thing This is like the best shabbat they've ever had because they can all talk about gg As much as mike said if the last thing he wants to hear about is gg. He was so happy. He was so happy Yeah, they'd love I'd love when someone's not there And they always love when someone's not there because they always talk the worst shit about them And then justa does this whole thing like I don't want to talk about the past like we're talking about the past Like get the fuck out of my house. Let's just talk about the future It's like shut up jesica. Just relax Just relax. Jessica once she yelled now. She's always yelling at everybody always like you guys want this negativity like Fuck you. I don't want this in my life Like could you pass the wine piece if you want the wine so badly? Why don't you stand up and get it for yourself? What I have to be doing everything for you fine. Here's the wine Then they this is when they all started leaving the table to talk shit about each other and this whole thing This is great Who was first? Was it Reza and mj? They're having a good time of reza's like, what are you doing? Like is you studying stupid me and adam like what are you doing? She's like, yeah, i'm gonna walk away Yeah, he comes for her and she's like, I wasn't starting anything with you and adam I wasn't starting anything so which case she's like, okay, fine. You're gonna come at me This is what i'm gonna do so she goes and she goes and tells like mic and sherpin and whoever else like Okay, everyone just so you know reza's plan to have a surprise wedding for adam So be understated when you find out because you're not supposed to know me yet. So the first thing that happens is that Shervin sits down at a table once adam's not there and he's like, hey So I hear you're having a wedding a surprise wedding And reza's like, what no, no, I don't know where you heard that. That's like crazy That's like so Persian to you know, say you're gonna have a regular wedding like I don't know like no What would i like do that it's like a dinner party and like then you're gonna like get married, but that's crazy And meanwhile Like when reza was talking to mj originally adam saw that adam's like unlike they're talking about me because I talked about mj So now he's talking about me and then adam comes back I'm sorry reza comes back and i'm like, what were you talking about and reza's like, oh i was just talking about how mj Uh like, what was this thing he basically throws mj on the bus, right? He's like it went so crazy because they went from person to person, but it ended up that adam came back and then they were talking about this secret and then uh He was like, oh so mj was talking about me and but they weren't ever talking about the wedding and reza Reza let him be upset with mj. He's like well too much like he'll find out Wasn't she was still being mad at mj, but she'd like still deserved it. It was just about something different Yeah, it was so fucked up. He was like, oh, yeah mj I was telling mj about how we're gonna have a build a dream house and she was like, you shouldn't do that And he's like, I can't believe mj doesn't want to have a dream house like what a bitch. So yeah, I know I'm like, you are so shady Like you just threw your friend under the bus. That's so ridiculous And then reza goes up to mj. It's like just so you know I told adam that you don't want us to build a dream house that way he thinks that that's what we're talking about And then i was like look at him debriefing mj about what we just said. I was like, this is it's all fucked up Yeah And then you've got ossa basically the whole episode just going babe, you know, like What I say is like the energy forgiveness. You know what I mean? Shut up and then ossa was still at the table. I'm like, she's a drunk. She hurt me These people it's like episode three ready now, but hilarious and hilarious And then mike is like making these proclamations about all his self growth He's like, you know, I'm I think i'm really at the place now where like i'm really ready to have people over have dinner now Like i'm not interested in going to the club. I just want to I feel like a grown man now I feel like I feel like i'm a grown man And i'm having people over for dinner now and I feel like this is a new chapter for me I'm like taking life on i'm being an adult. It's like cut to next week. By the way, I cheated You know, yeah, yep, that's when they always start staying at home because They can't be they can't be going i'm getting recognized everywhere. Mm-hmm. Oh my Mm-hmm So, um, I learned to cook for you Yeah She she converged a Judaism for him. That's a lot. That's and she's learning Persian. That's That's a lot to take on Well, adam said he liked gravel. That's all that matters That makes the whole thing perfect. I like the gravel at least one relationship can make it guys I like the gravel. Well, yeah, that's pretty exciting for him. I mean he gravel and free-balling. That's all he needs Gravel gravel is so unrestricted I love the crap those stones aren't covered So anyway, I think that's it. We just we did it. We got the end of this bonkers episode We'll be back Later this week with talk of Beverly Hills union and southern charm and the flamingo party And also we're gonna uh in New York City, but we also are gonna be talking with Heather Mcdonald our favorite. She's so funny All our little ballers. All right. Thanks everyone for listening and my guys and yeah, talk later. 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