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The holidays are upon us, and Whole Foods Market is your holiday headquarters. Whether you're hosting or a guest, impress everyone at your table with exceptional flavors, and enchanting host gifts for all your holiday gatherings. Find sales on show-stopping proteins like Whole Foods Market Beef Brisket, Golden King Crab clusters, and Lobster Tails, and their new organic spiral-cut bone-in-ham. If ever I need a good piece of fish, a good piece of meat, I am going to Whole Foods. It is without question the best place for me to find those sort of things. Look for sales on curated cheeses to create a grazing board everyone will love while the dinner's getting cooked. You're in the right place to get all the best you could from all, like nuts, dried fruit, and chocolate. I love chocolate. If you're in a hurry and forgot something, or simply want to avoid the holiday crowds, relax, or everything you need for a great holiday gathering online at Whole Foods Market on Amazon for easy pickup and delivery. Make Whole Foods Market your holiday headquarters. There's a really good chance that I don't know you, but I do know this much. Your face is a damn mess. Do you even know what's in your makeup? You probably don't. Do you know who does know? Beauty counter. They know they have more than 1,500 questionable or harmful ingredients that they do not use. You cannot say that about another makeup company. They have withstood crazy insane amount of testing. It is time to fix your face. Go to JennaBeauty.com. JennaBeauty.com. [MUSIC PLAYING] Hello and welcome to The Watch what Crapin's pod calls. The podcast about all that crap we live to talk about on the old bribes. I'm Ronnie Caron from Trash Talk TV. And as usual, I'm here with the gorgeous ansem. I never said he said anything. [LAUGHTER] [MUSIC PLAYING] Ronnie, oh no, you have it. I never said that. Ronnie. I was only joking darling. I own it baby. Thank you Ronnie. This reminds me that I had a dream last night with Lisa, and Harry Hamlin. And they... Oh darling, I hope you didn't get pegged because she has some male dildos up in there. Listen, I'm owning my dream baby. Basically, we thought we were friends, but then we were listening to your podcast and we were reading your blog. And the things you said were just so mean. They were so mean. We thought you were friends. I'm like, no, no, you have to understand. It's like blogging and podcast. It's just like snarky in general. But we just thought we were friends. And I was devastated. You should have come back as a real fighter and said, where's my fucking croissant, Renee? Yeah, I did. In the dream, I cracked your joke about it to try to dissolve the tension, and it did not go over well. Harry Hamlin was not happy with that. Harry Hamlin. I would love Harry Hamlin being mad at me. Like, try and chase me down the street holding your stupid guitar douche. All the themes LA law plays. And also, you're really not mean to them, I think. Because even if you have something to say that's not in her favor, you're like, but I love Lisa Ren. I said everything. I'm like, she is a fucking bitch, but I love her so much. And I'll, by the way, spoiler alert, I'll be saying that a lot this episode. Oh, yeah, you're, that's like a real house. So I fight where you're really just mad about the croissant. Like, who's the master manipulator here? You got me to be nice to you on my podcast by promising a croissant. I didn't get the croissant. You are the master. Yeah. Well, we are going to get into some talk about manipulation very, very soon. Very quickly. So before that, just a quick rundown of our links, go to watch at crappins.com to find all our personal links, our links to the shows. Everything is there. Also go to Facebook.com/watch at crappins. That's where you can talk to other listeners and us. We have live show threads for every show that we cover on the night that they air and man, that shit is funny to read. The Beverly Hills one this week was gold. It's like a hundred and something comments of just pure gold. Thanks to everybody posting there. There's a ton of stuff in social media today involving these dumb dums. And all of it I got from that Facebook page. So thanks to everybody who's posting. Also, if you want our bonus episodes, this week's bonus, we do one every week. This week's was almost an hour and a half, which is crazy long for those. And it was a breakdown of Brian Moylin's rankings of every housewife ever on the Thrillist. So go check that out. That's a fun one. And we're going to be doing our live video chat. Google hangout with you guys are like BYOB party on Google Hangouts. I think the 28 is that what we said? It's like the 28th at 6 p.m. Pulsific. So come on for that. And that's all of that nonsense we have to get through. Now we've got some big ashes today. We're going to be talking about Real Housewives of Beverly Hills, which is limping limping to the end. Oh, I'm fired up. Although I believe that that reunion will make up for it. It looks amazing. Then we're going to talk about, I mean, who knows, it's not in this order, but Beverly Hills, Southern Charm and Real Housewives of New York who are already ruining each other's lives in Episode 2. All already, already. And I think we have a very small crappin's mailbag this week, so we might as well get on in there, I love some mail beans. Yeah, if only I had the music queued up. Here we go. It's quiet today. It's a small mailbag because we're actually still using entries from last week, and then we'll get new ones for next week. I think the only one we didn't do was Lauren Grabowski saying, "Hello, guys. Have you ever considered having a contest for your number one fan of the podcast to be a guest co-host for a very special episode?" If so, I would like to nominate myself. Thank you for considering me. That actually is a really good idea. The people who listen to this show are effing hilarious. At least the ones who talk back to us on the social meds. Yeah, I'm down. Yeah, I'm down, sure. Why not? I think we got all the rest of these questions, so I think that it was a mailbag ever. We didn't even need to get a mailbag. What the hell? Just an excuse to play the music. There were a few more questions in there that we hadn't gotten to, but what was today? 414. Text to tomorrow. Yeah, right. Extension. I do that in the summer. I don't know why everyone's so stressed right now. I'm like, "Uh, it's not summer yet. I'm late. I'm sure that shocks everybody." Okay, I was just checking to see if we had ads today, and we don't. Go over to jenabeauty.com, damn it, and fix your face. I'll add that one at the beginning. Fix your face. Fix your face at Jenna Beauty. Okay, so we could get into some of this gossip, but since it is all relating to the shows we're actually discussing today, I'll just save it for that. Okay, and let's get into the show. What you want to talk about first, my little Benjamin's? I really have thoughts to say about Beverly Hills. Can we dive into the Beverly Hills season finale list, please? So I was amused that we basically went from one does or two another, from Dubai over to Palm Springs/Lakinta. Because Kyle is having her season ending party, which is not a white party. It's more like a beige, sand-colored, khaki party. And so she's doing a big party at the end, so she's getting ready for that. And then there's like a little like this montage of all the housewives, and Lisa Vanderpump was in some sort of Chez Lounge that she's just sort of like collapsed all over. Like she sort of got sucked into it and it was collapsed. And I thought this is a great visual metaphor for her life right now, just being sucked into and eaten alive by something sort of flimsy and rickety. Do you know how loyal I've been to this chair? How cool could you? Here's she thought she was just going to be able to lay this thing out and relax on top of it, and it's folded up on top of her. So funny, and they were talking about the Lisa Rinna, you know, all this stuff, and then boom, the chair folds right in on her. That was beautiful. It was like surprise little Shop of Horrors moment. It's really pretty. I'm really proud of Kyle for having a party in a house that she didn't steal from Kim. I mean, she bought it with the money that she stole the house from Kim, the proceeds of the house she stole from Kim, but I was glad to see, you know, she owns this one. That's good. And then just to remind us, she's like, the only people who have seen this are Kim. Well, none of the other ladies have seen it. And then we cut to Kim last year, seeing the house for the first time and just yelling, you're lying. It's like, you're lying, Kim. You're lying. You are lying. To be fair, she probably tore down the original house and used the scraps to make, like, some sort of decorative wall piece. Totally. So that way Kim would never forget. Do you remember all the toilet, do you see all the toilet flushes? Do you recognize those? Those were all the knobs from your dresser as a child. Yeah. Damn you. And this mosaic is made from chopped up refrigerator magnets, the ones that were given to you every Christmas. It's like a K and an I. Who stole the M? No one stole it, Kim. I'm lying. So let me see. My notes are, of course, my recap. So God help us. I'm skipping through all this on purpose because I will literally talk about a dog sweater for an inch. I took some notes. Also, Yolanda was asking Erica about the jet lag. So how's the jet lag? Well, you know, I just have jet lag, you know, Dubai. And Yolanda's like, oh, you know, so Yolanda, she calls it flying lime. She's like, oh, I always get the flying lime. I have a chronic flying lime every time I fly somewhere. Stupid Yolanda. Cut to a picture of Yolanda's music video for her wedding in an airplane. Yeah, exactly. So this, it opens up with the montage of the late. He's Lisa being crushed by a chair was definitely the best. And then we skip to Eileen. You know, Eileen is taking like, she's really getting a lot of heat on the internet. Eileen and Rinna both are just basically people are tar and feathering them. I don't think what she's done is hateable. I mean, she's obnoxious as hell to me. I know you really like her. Yeah, I don't think it's hateable. I think it's just more, it's like tiresome. It's just, like, we get your frustration. But what we want you to do, we want your reaction to be like, you know what? She didn't apologize to me. Whatever. I don't need it anymore. That's what we want. Not, well, I'm going to go in for another. I'm going to ask again and again and again, you know, and ask indirectly. So I'm not going to get what I really want by not addressing directly. And if America is feeling exhausted, imagine how Vince feels. And guess what? You don't even have to imagine because we just see his face. That's what I've ever done. Vinnie looks so beyond bored. While she is just going off like, and can you believe? And then this happened and that happened. She's like, are you listening? Yes, I'm listening. Yeah. Do you want my opinion? No. God bless it. So I lean in Vince, then we go to Rina with her Gajint. I love Rina's little teenager Gajint. Has this guy been working since he was in junior high? He looks 12. I know. He, yeah, he was, I guess, so Rina has a talk show in development, which she already had a talk show once, I believe. But she has a new one. What do you think that her new talk show is going to be called? You're lying. Own it. Like she's just going to get people on there, pretend to really like them. And then halfway through the show, she's going to twist everything they say and throw it back in their face like they're the wrong ones. She like halfway through. She's going to be like, wait a second. You're manipulating me now. And I, you know what? This is, this is interesting. This is interesting because what you're saying to me now, it doesn't make sense. Just own it, baby. Just own it. I want you to get better, baby. Fix yourself. Okay, get help, baby. This is going to be her. She's going to be like Dr. Phil, but not make any sense. She'll be on both sides. Let's just start yelling at the audience first. That's what's going to happen. She's going to start yelling at the audience because the audience is like not on her side and then she's going to realize that she's been manipulated and she's a healthy guest. Well, what a lovely segue into today's gossip about Rina. So, Rina, like I said, Rina has been taking a lot of shit on the old internet. And look, people who give you shit about housewives on the internet, they are not fucking around. I mean, these people, they have fans that will go crazy for them, but man, when they hate you, you do not want a housewives fan against you. It's hideous. So, there's a couple of things. There's her blog, which we'll get to later. But then there's today's news. Rina goes on the attack on Instagram. This is from all about the tea. It's from a writer named Beach Spin. She writes a lot of Beverly Hills stuff. She's really good. But this is from all about the tea. The headline is Lisa Rina attacks on Instagram slams Beverly Hills fans weight and looks in vulgar rant. Oh, no. Oh, no, Rina. What did you do? What did you do, Rina? What have you done? So, people are going off on her or whatever. And I'm just going to read the ones that Beach Spin highlighted here because why go through the whole thing? We'll be here all day. But I'm convinced that the haters' trolls are all fat hoarders with 50 cats, baby, with no teeth. And they couldn't find their vagina if they tried. Well, all you nasty people need to go. So, get the fuck off my page. Now, meow, I'm going for it. I got nothing to lose. You sick fucks. Girl, you got to show one ABC to lose. Yeah, seriously. No, I mean, that's going to get her. That's going to get her show greenlit. She's going to be the new Morton Downey Jr. Just calling everyone a sick fuck. Today, we have Michelle Obama. Oh, your garden. Oh, fuck off. You sick fuck. You fat household. Get out. Own it, baby. Own it. Look at all those statues of dead presidents. How dare you? Get out. Lisa Rina. I do love when she's unhinged, but I like it when she focuses her unhinged fury on something more productive or someone who really deserves it because she is so twirled around right now. She has no idea. I mean, we're going to get to it. But the fact that she rescinded her Yolanda's manipulative thing when Yolanda is so clearly the most manipulative is so frustrating to me like that. Oh, my God, brainwashed. To me, this episode reminded me of watching an episode of Survivor when you have issues in the tribe and people are turning people against each other and you want someone to be voted off. And instead, the person you want to be voted off manages to cast a spell on the swing vote and now everything's a disaster. Lisa Rina is the only person on Survivor to never get hungry. She's like, I'm not going to do Shep for an Outback Challenge. I'm throwing this one. No, it's a stake. It'll kill you. So meanwhile, Erica, when she's not talking about jet lag, she, of course, the very first thing she does is she spills all the beans to Yolanda about everything that happened in Dubai. She starts, you know, telling her while level Reese Rina and the big fight. And she's like, you know, I was like, are they still talking about my munching has in flowers and she's like, no, no, they're talking about who said the munchaus in first. Yolanda's like, oh, no, she has this look like it's silly and so petty. Meanwhile, she's like lapping it all up. She's like cracking up behind her. She looks like she's just fine because Erica's like, and then they caught the river just told that a pup, you're a liar. And Yolanda's like, like, she gets so excited. It's hilarious. Yolanda is so fucking transparent. You know, so she's loving this. I think at least a mother pumper layer. It's like she went on the price is right and found a legitimate deadly disease diagnosis by door number three. I want everyone to notice. This is something I noticed last night during the episode. And once I did, it oiled my blood the rest the episode. I almost want to go back and watch all these episodes to see if my theory is true. Anytime anyone compliments Yolanda, she never says thank you ever. You know what she does? Usually she just sort of smiles, just smiles at them and like nods. Like, that's supposed to convey a thank you. Like, it looks like she's just said thank you or she's about to say thank you, but she never actually says thank you. Or she will she'll just say something else or she'll just write on to it. What is this? What is this? What is this? But she never says thank you. And I think that is actually such a hideous trait that it actually really pisses me up. You know, there's like certain things that like make your blood boil and, you know, idiosyncratic things. This is my thing. And I owe it, baby. I owe it. Well, I think one of the things that really makes her mad about the compliments is that they're calling her pretty. And, you know, we learned on that Dr. Oz. She does not like that because she feels like it's devaluing her illness. No, no, because they also complimented her daughters. They were like, Oh, you know, you're still your dog. Kim said I saw your daughter commercial and then Yolanda sort of smiles and goes says something like, yeah, well, they're doing great things. She just sort of adds on, but she doesn't ever say, Oh, yes. Thank you so much. And I think it really is a good insight into her the way she operates. She is rude, egotistical, manipulative lady. Yeah, she really is. She's like, I'm the biggest star here. Does anybody else have thought on magazine? No, I don't see Pantheon magazine. Like, congratulations on all that work you didn't do. So, what was I going to say? Okay, so then the best part of all of this, this rehashing between switching to the ladies back and forth, besides Lisa getting crushed in the chair. Was Lisa Vanderpump retelling this story to Ken? Yes. She's like, she's fixed the chair now. She's back in the chair with one of her $18 or whatever. She's like, Ken, I mean, I didn't even understand what they were saying darling. It's like, there's Lisa Vanderpump, I mean, there's Lisa Rina, and she's just saying, you lie, own it, own it baby, whatever. Like, what does it mean darling? And then Ken, ever so classy when it comes to talking about the other women is like, fuck her, she's a goddamn twat, you know, fuck that stupid swatch. She's not for the silica. She's stupid bitch. Oh, that's not going to work out well. Just laugh at the silica. What a wanker. I just love that LVPs impersonation was basically like ours like, you're a liar and own it. You know, that was her version, which was the voice was really weird. I love also. I already own everything. What else do I have to own? And I love that when she's truly pissed, she'll do a scene right in front of all of those tombstones in her backyard. So let's see. What else was he? So then they go to Palm Springs, right? Yeah, we can skip Eileen, because it's just more of her husband. I did like that. I lean with telling Vince everything in Panama. She's like, well, first she first she threw her quote unquote friend under and then she moves her hand. I'm like under a bus because Port Vince is falling asleep. I'm like, man, poor Eileen can't even make her husband pay attention to her terrible Panama. Shut up, lady. I know. Well, it doesn't help that. I mean, her hair, her makeup, everything. I mean, she's just so stuck in 1992. It's terrible. And the whole world is hating on you right now. The last thing you want to do is add mine to your resume. Like, there's nobody more hated than a mine. Well, someone needs to fill the gap left by Marcel, Marcel, whatever his name is, Monsieur Marcel. Marcel, Marcel, Marcel. I knew him, darling. What an odd little man he was always stuck in a box. But he always spoke to me. I'll tell you that much. That box reminds me of Cedric's childhood house. Marcel, Marcel manipulated me into being manipulated by Lisa Vanderpump to take my trousers. He doesn't say much, but he speaks with his hands. And he manipulated me. He put me in that box. And you know who was in there? Not Christian Takeman. You don't own that Marcel, Marcel. You're just mining it. Okay, show me something that you own like he has nothing. Come on, speak up, Marcel, Marcel. This is your time. Listen, Marcel, Marcel would just say he manipulated a little bit and said, I'm sorry. Then we would all be like, that's okay. We'd hug. But instead, he's just silent. I don't get it. Own it, Marcel. Let's face it. Marcel, Marcel is a pussy. I mean, how many escalators are there? Oh, God. So, Yolanda has the nerve to say, I'm just skipping through this. I know we're trying to go to Palm Springs, and I'm sorry. I'm just trying to skip through this recap. But Yolanda actually had the gall to say, I look at these fights. You know, you have the Lisa versus the Kyle. And then you have Brandy versus the Lisa. And then you have me now, or Lisa Rina versus the Lisa. There seem to be one common denominator besides you, bitch. Yeah, because you're also in all of those. And there is, and okay, so if you want to look at the common denominator, okay, so here's what happened. Brandy is Lisa's psychic. Brandy tries to become the star of this show, so she turns against Lisa, and she fails miserably. Kyle tries to be the star of the show, and she turns against Lisa, and she fails miserably. And she's also semi egged on by Brandy, who is already failing. And have to add, the reason Kyle was mad at Lisa in the first place is because she felt like Lisa wasn't sticking up for her against Brandy when she was being true to Brandy. Exactly. Exactly. So now you have Lisa Rina, who is going against Lisa Vanderpump, because she's been turned that way by this cabal of Yolanda sympathizers. So it's, yes, you could look at the numbers that, like, over the past five or six seasons, like every other season, Lisa Vanderpump loses a close friend. But there's no pattern to why, except usually that they are frustrated by the fact that people still love her regardless of what they see as flaws in her. Yeah, pretty much. Good summation. Thank you. I mean, I think if you're going to go after Lisa Vanderpump, let's go after her for trying to, like, fuck with Kim when she knows that she was on meth. Or, you know, there's, like, a lot of stuff that she's really dumb, that if people yelled at her, I wouldn't be mad at that. But how would Yolanda feel, also, if someone said, as we have, actually, many times, well, you want to look at patterns, why we look at the pattern of your illness from when you were, you know, 12 years old or whatever it was. Laura, and I would say that, well, I don't want to see them trapper keepers coming out. And then she would say, well, that's totally different, because if it was a different situation, well, then yes, exactly. That's the point here, just because something happens and it looks like a pattern. It's not, you know, it's not just because you might see a correlation does not mean, does not mean that there's actual causality. Yolanda. Oh, I like it. I like your lawyerly talk. What is this, the causality? And everyone checks it. Yeah. And everyone checks into the Parker, and this receptionist got a lot of screen time for his hot pink blazer. Wow, like everyone came by and was like, oh, I love your blazer. I love your blazer. I love that he has a different answer for every single one of them. I know. I'm feeling sporty today. Oh, just trying something new today. And then Kyle is in her bathroom getting ready for this big party, and her back is tomorrow, and he's like, oh, yeah, look at that butt. Yeah, she's like, Maureen, come on, it's just my butt. And he's like, yeah. I don't know why I thought that was so funny. I totally missed that. I did see that for Fred Resnick was there. I was like, oh, God, Fay Resnick is going to love this. She's going to just sit back and eat popcorn while all the way, like for once she is not involved in the disasters. Yes, because Fay is on her Camille grammar run where she's just like, I'm going to just be quiet now until people like me. And then I'll come start more shit later. Yeah, which is smart. But by the way, we got a lot of people tweeting at us and sending us messages that when Carol Radswell told Ramona last week to speak less and smile more, apparently that's a reference to Hamilton. So, well, it's also a very old saying. The Tate used to say to women all the time. Well, then there's that too. I mean, I don't know. But I'm glad Hamilton's brought it back for us all to relearn. Have you seen Hamilton? No, I haven't. Ben, how dare you? You're in New York all the time? You have to tell me how amazing it is. I haven't gone to a Broadway show in Forever. And Hamilton's like impossible to get tickets to. And let me tell you something right now, everyone. Everyone who gets to go see Hamilton, please, enough with the selfies, with the playbill and the stage in the background. It's just like, it's like a person don't take concert. Yeah, I don't care. I don't care that you're at Hamilton because you know what? You know what? So who cares? You know, if I wind up seeing Hamilton someday, that would be lovely. But generally, I don't care about Hamilton. I'm an audience member. I own it. Own it, baby. I have this playbill. I actually literally own the playbill. Own it. So I'm skipping on the next page because the next is just a two paragraph rant about Kim just going, "You're a liar, Kyle!" Well, what's funny is my next note is that before the party is about to begin and Kyle is hanging out with Faye and I think Faye was like, "Oh, did you tell Rina that Kim is going to be at the party?" And Kyle's like, "Oh, no, I didn't. I mean, she should assume." I'm like, "You are such a shitster, Kyle. Oh, you are such a shitster." And I'm not telling Rina that Kim is going to be there. But at least Kyle is fair and she's awful to all of her friends because remember when she had Faye over and then kept pushing her into fights with people? She's like, "Are you sure you don't want to talk to Faye? Are you sure? Are you sure?" And she kept pushing Faye in the way, like, "Remember Faye's playboy? Run that ass like Jesus, Kyle!" At least she's equally as awful to everyone. I love that Kyle lives in a place called La Quinta. To me, that is hilarious. You share the name with some low rent hotel and you can't get invited anywhere by a Hilton. Like, "Come on, Kyle." And it has a passing sound resemblance to cut fitness, if you know what I'm saying. La Quinta! La Quinta! I just wanted to put a mint on your pillow, darling, but I couldn't find the proper key. So Kim Richard shows up and it's funny. She says that the party makes her feel uncomfortable and I thought, "Oh, because, you know, she's in recovery and there's booze and people are drinking." And she's like, "No, because I just don't want to see Lisa Rina." I'm like, "Oh, okay. So the booze does not make you feel uncomfortable. Okay, well, once again, I question her recovery. This doesn't make people feel uncomfortable. People giving them shit about drinking booze gets them uncomfortable and that would be Rina. Yeah, that's true. I mean, of course she's allowed to be uncomfortable. That ran as there. I just thought it was funny that the primary reason why she's uncomfortable has nothing to do with all the booze pouring out of every spigot. I'm really uncomfortable in this house. Kyle took the locks off all the bathroom doors. "Who do that? Liar!" No mirrors in there. This is where they all surround Yolanda with her. "Oh, Yolanda. Your daughters are famous and stuff." And then, Yolanda just air it's amazing. Yeah. I mean, everyone look at it. She just stands there and gets sort of this, like, blank stare. Like, "Yes, I know." Like, "Yes, yes, yes." Kim goes, "Oh." Thank God for our kids, am I right? Okay. Really, Kim? So many of your kids just dragged you on the mother/daughter experience or experiment on lifetime of all things, darling. Who's thanking? Who are you to be thanking God for your kids? Those kids, they took you on Dr. Phil and now the mother/daughter experiment. Yeah. Yeah, thank God for those kids. I mean, mine's on TV, too. I'm like begging you to behave yourself. She's like, "Oh, you know, what's so great about them is that they just still want my big old-fashioned chicken salad. So I just, every day, put my hands in a bowl and make them what they want." They're such beautiful, too. I mean, Gigi's on a magazine, but can she make chicken salad with her hands? That's a real question. What a spoiled brat. You must have so many picture frames after straightening Yolanda. So, Renna walks in with the B group. I called them the B team because they just keep losing over and over it. Yeah. The funniest part is they actually think they're winning because there's no scoreboard until the show starts airing. And these bitches really think that they've won and it is hilarious watching them. Walking with such senses of pride and arrogance. It's like the friendship on Big Brother 6. Oh, babe. Remember, did you watch that season? Yes, I sure did. Yeah. I remember the friendships that they were loved by... For anyone who doesn't know, the friendship was an alliance and they thought they were loved by America. They thought they were the good people. They thought they were the heroes and America hated them. And America kept on fucking with them in these amazing ways. There's one woman wanted a phone call from her husband who she hadn't spoken to in two or three months. And America gave the phone call to Janelle so she could speak to Michael, who was the first guy voted off. And then April started to cry upstairs. She's like, "Why does America hate me?" I think if we're going to stick with Big Brother, I will choose Frankie Grande. Because Frankie Grande really thought he was the most entertaining person in the world. And when he heard one of his teammates get booed, he went, "Oh, they hate us." Just wanting to go to the baseball. Yeah, that was great. Never forget. So Renna walks right in, doesn't even put down her purse. Yeah. And walks right up and she's like, "Oh, hi, Yolanda. Oh, do you want to have a talk? We need to talk." Okay, we have something to get off our chest. I have something to get off our chest. And so many things to get off our chest at all times. Yes. About other people that have nothing to do with her. Which is what cracks me up. But in her defense, I know that seemed a little hasty. But she knows you're a lot of going to leave that shit in five minutes. Yeah, you've got to lock it down. She's going to sign Gigi's names on every calendar in the house and just leave. Yeah. So Renna pulls out her typical, "I have something to confess. I used to think you were the biggest master manipulator." And then I really got to know Vanderpump. And now I see it's her. And come on, it's like, "Okay, crazy lady. Anything else?" But she's also loving it. She's like, "You know, she's pretending to be shocked by all this, but no, she loves this whole thing." Yeah, she's loving it. And as you've pointed out a million times, this whole season is about her and she's barely had to show up. So she loves it. It's almost like she's asking for autographs for having someone called her a much hasm head. It's crazy. Yes, it is me. You've all heard of me. People have lied about much hasm. Can we have your autograph shut up, Yolanda? Sit down. Yes, so Rina starts telling Yolanda about how it was Lisa who started the whole "Munchhasons" thing. You know, Lisa was the one who was showing me the photos of you. She was like the photo and be like, "What do you think about this?" I'm like, "Listen, Rina. Rina, that's not the same as saying she has Munchhasons. It is totally reasonable to be like, "You know, I thought she's sick and yet here she is doing -- here she's on Instagram." Like, it's totally feasible and totally allowable to question it because it's so bizarre how this woman could claim to be bedridden in a bathrobe. And the next day she's, you know, running around, picking up coconuts, doing whatever. I don't know. Yeah, and especially since Lisa admitted she was the one who said it. Yeah, she said we had questions. Now, sometimes I write just like we do in these recaps, these spoken recaps. And the written ones, I just write down a bunch of lies because I get frustrated. So, like, I make a scene something else. And so I can't remember the truth. But I wrote, "Who was the one who started to talk about the Munchies?" Okay, is that -- was that her question? Like, who actually said Munchhason first? And then she said, "Banderpump, right? Am I getting that wrong?" I think she said that "Banderpump put her on the path to it." I don't know. I didn't write down the direct thing. But the point is, though, she said that Lisa Vanderpump was showing her photos and being like, "What do you think about this? What do you think?" And then that put Lisa Vanderpump on this path. Oh, yeah. And then I guess that's what she had to say. And that's why she had the conversation. That's why she mentioned it. You know, it's just -- It's like getting mad at a map when you get lost. She's like, "She put me on the direction and I ended up at a gas station in Arizona, baby. I mean, what the hell?" You know, it's okay to question things. You know, that's what friends should do. And we saw Kyle and Lisa at the beginning of the season, and Tuscany questioning it and wondering if maybe there's something else going on. Maybe she's depressed. Maybe there's something else at play. And that's not saying like Yolanda's journey. It's not discrediting her journey. It's saying, "Well, maybe you should rethink your journey. Maybe there's something else going on and maybe there's a fix for it that you don't realize. That's all." Yeah. I mean, just the stuff that they're basically all lying about now. Because Rinna leaves Kyle completely out of this conversation, and we'll see why this is important when we get to her blog. But she leaves her out, and then Yolanda's leaving everybody else out because she just wants to go to Vanderpump. And Rinna keeps saying she won't own it, and at the risk of sounding like I'm beating a dead-ass horse, she did own it and told Yolanda right to her face that we were questioning darling. I mean, the Instagram, she already did own it, so let's shut up, move on. So Vanderpump enters. Now, Rinna for her big private conversation is of course sitting right next to the front door. And I think it says a lot when Vanderpump enters and they immediately stop talking like scared. And they're like, "Hello, Lisa. Oh, hello, honey." And she's like, "All right, whatever." You know, and just keeps walking on. And then Yolanda's like, "Oh, we almost got it to court! Oh my God!" [laughter] I feel like a butterfly who saw one of these nets of boots and is coming at it. You know whatever the word. I think their fear is hilarious. It's like they're going to try and make this huge mutiny and rebellion, but they're too much of a pussy to actually keep talking. Exactly. So now Lisa Vanderpump is in the party. So now Yolanda goes up to talk to Lisa Vanderpump, right? Is that what happens next? Yes. Yolanda, yes, pretty much. I mean, Kyle and Vanderpump talked to Twitch. I'm trying to see if this was before or after, but they're talking to Kim and Lisa's like, "Darling, you look great. Are you getting shagged?" And for Kim, like if Kim is sitting there talking to Vanderpump, you know she is really nervous to be at this party because she hates her. [laughter] So they talk, then yeah, Yolanda was like, "Enough of this. I need some alcohol." Which I thought was hilarious. Yeah, I thought that was pretty questionable. For someone who is like, I don't know, I just think that if I'm ill, I don't want booze. But you know, for someone who's all about like keeping the toxins out of her body, alcohol is an Australian choice. Well, in this group. Yeah, I mean, then again, I can understand why she needs it. I can understand. So she's talking to Lisa. And Lisa's like, "Darling, how are you?" She's like, "Well, you know all the girls. I just went and talked to Dorina, and Rinna says, "You are the one who said much outside." Like, and of course Yolanda takes, I mean, look, Rinna's already twisting shit to a grand degree. Then Yolanda takes what Rinna says and retwists it to make no sense. And like, completely says it wrong. And Lisa's like, "No way!" So they can call her a liar, but she did not bring up much housing. So she wasn't. Yeah, exactly. And then Kyle walks by, and then Vanderpump says to Kyle, "Did I bring up the much housing?" And Kyle's like, "No, no, no." And then she's like, "Thank you, thank you." And she kisses Kyle on the cheek. But of course, the people who are hating on Vanderpump that looks like the most obvious, you know, mass manipulator, like rewarding the peon with a kiss on the cheek. So like, "Oh, what a big surprise. What a big surprise, baby." Well, you know what? It wouldn't be a surprise if you've watched this show because for Kyle, Kyle is the one you do call over because if Kyle's going to stab you in the back, she'll do it right to your damn face. She'll throw-- Yes, you go, "Well, actually, he said this." Yeah. She does do that. You're right. Yeah, if she can't even come up with a lie to like confront her with, then you know that she's telling somewhat, like some kind of version of the truth or whatever. So at this point, now Lisa Rinna and Eileen are like shooting daggers across the room at this whole thing, and Yolanda's saying, "No, something is not adding up, something is not right." I'm like, "Yeah, you know what it is? It's because you're getting all the wrong information." And I love that there was an actual, honest conversation with Vanderpump and Yolanda because, of course, they don't like each other. Like everybody's known that from the beginning. It's not like they really hide it, you know, especially Yolanda. But when Yolanda's like, "Look, I would never come to you about my illness because I met you because you were best friends with Mohammed, and I know that your loyalty is to him before me, so I would never come talk to you about that." And that's how it should be. It's fine. And Lisa's like, "Yes, darling. Well, you know, I like the family, so I wouldn't say these things." And so they basically agree to just keep hating each other from afar and pat each other on the head and move on, which you think Yolanda is fine with. But meanwhile, Lisa and Eileen, like you said, are behind them shooting daggers pissed. And Rin is like, "Oh, there goes Vanderpump trying to save her ass." Well, so now it's bad that she's talking to Yolanda. Like what do you want, lady? If you really wanted her to confront Yolanda, you had her at the front door. It's not like you're going to wait for her to put down her purse. You didn't put yours down. You could have just pretended to be damn co-check. Yeah, yeah. I don't know. Rinna was really off the rails this episode. You know, I'm trying still so hard to maintain my love for her, but she's making it really, really difficult. Well, I think you loved her more than me at first. And as usual, I think we're switching because I just love that she's a Looney Toon at this point. I like that she's a Looney Toon, but I don't like that her Looney Tunes-ness is based off of distortion effects. I don't like that. Yeah, well, I don't like it either, but she's at least entertaining me. As long as I don't have to watch her pretend to get her ass wax or whatever the hell she's doing. This is better. I like seeing people when they're being their true selves, and I really believe that she's a Looney Toon. Yeah, she kind of is. Meanwhile, speed of Looney Tunes. At one point, Faye Resnair walked up to Yolanda and was like, "You look spectacular." And you know what your response was? It wasn't thank you. It was, "I do." I was like, "Shut up, Yolanda." Hey, thank you. And of course, Kyle too. She's like, "Whoa, Yolanda, you feeling okay? Who cares? You're hot, am I right?" Like, "You can feel bad, but at least you're hot." God, Kyle. Trying to be funny, but you know, pissing you off even more. Exactly. And then meanwhile, Erica. So then Erica is, you know, she's like Yolanda's chief deputy. So Erica's on a couch with Catherine, and I forget who the other person was with them. But Catherine just eating meatballs or whatever. You know, Catherine's there for the food. And she, yeah, she's stuffing her face. And Erica's like, "So? What do you think about Vanderpum?" And Catherine's like, "Well, I don't have a problem. She never did anything to me, so I don't have a problem with it." And then, you know, of course, I was like, "Well, that's because, you know, you're still having a Kool-Aid. You still have the Vanderpum Kool-Aid." I'm like, "Well, you have the Yolanda Kool-Aid." And you know what? I bet the Vanderpum Kool-Aid tastes a whole lot better. No kidding. There's actually sugar in that one. It's not just like lemon rinds, like, "Ooh, I just have a fucking feed. I don't give a fuck if I can see broke my tooth. I don't give a fuck." "I put that in the budget, would you, Han?" Yeah. I mean, what, I mean, what speaks of more manipulation than you have your, your, your peon. I'm saying peon a lot today, but you have your peon in Erica, then sort of trying to make Catherine hate Lisa Vanderpum. Like, it's just so obvious to me. It is. Also, Erica, look, I know at this point everybody has taken sides and they're getting mad. And frankly, it's a point where we have, like, I know it sounds like we've always taken a side. I'm pretty, I think I can turn against anyone. I'm fair like that. But this is just ridiculous. Erica's sitting there and she has the balls to be like, "Oh, hello, Lisa. Oh, your bracelet is just lovely, Lisa. Did you get that into buy? Oh, it's beautiful, Lisa." And Lisa's like, "Oh, yeah, thank you, darling." "Oh, no, it's perfect. Everything, Lisa. What do you think about Lisa?" Without even moving, Lisa's still there and she's just kissed her ass. Like, we're up to her nose, all up in her ass, and then it's trying to turn Catherine, which, what kind of stupid army do you need? You really need Catherine on your side, shouldn't do anything. Like, what's she gonna show up and eat all the meatballs at Vanderpump's house? Like, what do you win? Well, poor Vanderpump, poor Vanderpump needs her. At this point, I actually feel bad for Lisa Vanderpump that she's actively recruiting Catherine and Faye Resnick. Well, she always takes the broken ones. She's really friends with Joyce. We saw her last time at Pump, like, having dinner with Joyce and her husband, you know? I saw them in person, yeah. So, no, no, no, not. So, Erica keeps having this conversation with Catherine, and Catherine goes, "Well, look, if anybody should be mad, it should be Kyle, and Kyle's not mad, so why should I be mad?" And she goes, "You could be Kyle next." Yeah, she fucking wishes. And that's me saying that, and I hate Kyle. Well, and what do you think you are, Erica? You're a Kyle to Yolanda. So, let's say here. The only really thing other that I said about Erica is like, "Look, I get that you're living your life by feeding off of some senior citizen, and you know what? Good for you. I'm not gonna be hosheming you about that." Housewives doesn't work the same. You don't just get to pick the old rich one in the room and feed off their storyline, bitch. Do something, okay? 'Cause Yolanda is not gonna be there much longer, so figure something out. Yeah. So, then, like, everyone comes and sits down in the couch. Looks like there's gonna be another big group conversation to rehash this for the umpteenth time, but then, basically, Kim and Rina wind up on the same couch, which means we are headed to some serious shit. But did we get there? No. Not really. What a fizzle. This poor finale. I felt bad for this finale. It just kind of fell on its face. Nothing happened. Rina was trying to spin her plate. Eileen was just giving everybody dirty looks, and then nothing really happened, you know? Yeah. So, Kim and Rina started talking, and, like, Kim's like, well, you know, last time we saw each other, you know, it was not a good place or whatever. Yadda yadda yadda. Oh, Kim makes Rina talk. This was rich, actually. This was very rich. Rina's -- Kim is like, "Let's talk, Rina." She's like, "Ew, gross, no. Why would I want to?" And Rina has so much anger towards Kim, I really don't get any of this. Do you? I do. Yeah. I don't get it. So, she's still so mad at Kim, so they go talk, and Kim, you know, God bless her heart, just -- Kim's trying, you know, to, like, make sentences and stuff. She's like, "Well, I just don't got, like, Erin Raised, like, I'm friends with a thing, and then you, like, get raised, like what?" And she's like, "I don't have to explain myself to you, Kim. Those are my personal feelings, and I don't need to explain them. Oh, really, misown it?" So, she won't discuss anything with Kim. Yeah, meanwhile, she wants everyone else to discuss everything that they ever said to everyone, but, you know, open to be honest. I mean, here's what I thought was funny. It was that, you know, I thought Kim was going to be, say something about, like, where they were a year ago, and be like, "Listen, this, you know, things have gotten better. You know, I didn't like how you treated me, blah, blah, blah." Or maybe, I mean, I knew she was never going to say this. I knew she was not going to say, you know, I've gone through recovery, and I apologize, because I understand you were reacting to how I was. I knew she wasn't going to do that, which is what she should have done. But instead, she was just like, "Hey, I heard you were mad at that photo that Yolanda took with us. Like, why are you so mad at it?" I was like, "Really? This is what's on your mind? Not, like, not, like, the months and months of acrimony?" Yeah, well, I don't think she owes Lisa Rinna an apology, especially seeing how Lisa Rinna is now and just imagining how she was last year. I mean, I get if someone's an alcoholic. It's not your right to, like, be mentioning their issue and trying to make them own their fucking alcoholism at every dinner. Like, who cares? People have the right to be alcoholics that they want to. You don't even know her. Why are you trying to go off on her alcoholism? It's bullshit. People do, but then Kim was basically, like, shut up. I'm not an alcoholic. Don't, like, why are you bringing this up? Trying to make Rinna seem like a total crazy person. And in this case, this is a situation where, you know, people were getting upset at Rinna, like, "Oh, like, why would you bring that up?" And Rin was like, "Whoa." But she is. Like, how are we, like, she needs help. She needs help. Yeah, but she did it at every dinner. It's like, "Okay, now we're back together and now we're having dinner. We're going to have fun." She's like, "Well, what about your alcoholism?" Like, she's a Christ lady. She doesn't even know you. But she trot -- I think that Rinna was trying to, like, ease off. I remember she was saying, like, "Listen, I'm not going -- I don't want to -- I know you don't want to talk about it. The only reason why I mention it was because it wasn't going from a bad place. I just had -- this is why. And then -- Classic Rinna, she brings it up in a way that she's the victim. So she's like, "I'm not -- I don't want to bring up your alcoholism anymore, but, you know, it's affected me because of this." And she brings it up again, and then they're supposed to all sit there and talk about it again. I mean, I loved when she threw that glass and tried to strangle Kim. That was amazing. But I'm not totally pro-Kim. You know that. Yeah, I know. I just don't -- I don't think that Rinna's motivations during that entire arc was -- I don't think there were, like -- I don't think there were really that malicious. I think it was basically like -- she saw some things. She thought it was crazy that no one was mentioning it. And finally, she's like, "Okay, I'm not going to -- I'll stop bringing it up. I just want you to know, the reason why I brought it up was not -- I wasn't trying to be nasty. I just, you know, I've seen this before, and I was concerned. And then that's, you know, that was -- unfortunately, she already been told two times to shut up, so then Kim lost it. But the point is this, though, you know, Kim never really has any accountability for anything. And I'm not trying to, like -- Oh, yeah. Well, that I agree with obviously. I'm not trying to kick, like, someone in recovery, someone who is trying to improve themselves. I'm not trying to kick her while she's down. But it's been a few years now where she'll go off to recovery, do whatever, and she comes back. And she holds these things over people's heads. She did it to Kyle, like after her first rehab stint. She's like, "I didn't like the way you created me. I didn't like the way you made me feel when I was going through my thing." You know, I understand you didn't like that, but really, you know, you have to have -- you have to understand why she was acting like that. Well, yeah, I mean, like if we're going to talk about Kim in every -- Kim in every relationship, yeah, I can't stand up for Kim. I'm just saying with Rinna specifically, Rinna doesn't even know her, and she just took it too far. And now, if you doubt that she was being mean then, which I was with you then, you know, I flip flop like crazy. I could never be a mayor. But the way she was at this one where she's just like, "Why would I even speak to Kim?" And this and that. And Kim is like, "Well, I just don't appreciate you doing this." She's like, "You know what, Kim? You need help." And like, "I hope you get some help because I just hope you fix your life, because your life, I mean." And she's like, "Well, why is this about me being an alcoholic? I'm asking you why you're so mad that I'm having lunch with my friends." And she's like, "Well, you need help." And then she just gets up and walks away, like basically saying, you can't say, like, you're trying to help somebody who needs recovery, own it. And then just refusing to talk to them and turning every conversation back on like, "Well, you're an alcoholic and you need help." You know? Well, did she say need help or did she say -- She said, "You need to get -- you need to get -- get well, yeah." But she -- but what she was -- I think she was saying, like, we don't have to -- like, I don't want to discuss this, like, you focus on getting well, right? Wasn't that like the gist of it? Well, she was -- I'm not going to talk to this. You've got a lot of problems. She said, "Last year, we had some stuff going on, and people didn't understand what you really had going on, suggesting that, you know, I was mad at you last year about things you were doing when you were drunk, but we didn't understand you were a drunk." When, of course, they all did. Everybody knew, and that was her whole storyline last year. Renez was calling her out. You know, the other thing that was funny, though, is that Renez said something about, like, "Listen, you know, your life has been complicated, and Kim's, like, complicated. It has been complicated. What do you mean it's complicated?" I'm like, "See, this is -- that's the thing that drives me nuts in that situation. It was Kim -- you don't know about my life." It's like, "Well, actually, Kim, it was all over the news. You went on to Dr. Phil. You were arrested. That's complicated. Your life has been complicated." Well, yeah, but it shouldn't even be about that. She's just saying, "Rene, why are you talking shit about me all the time, and why are you so enraged that I'm having lunch? Like, are we going to get to a point where it's going to be totally not awkward at a damn party? We're going to see each other, and then it starts making it like, you know, she's, like, terms it on whatever Kim's problems are, because she can always win when the other person's in alcoholic, and that's what makes me crazy. I don't think her points against Kim were necessarily wrong last year. It's just like the woman's trying to talk to you, and Rene's like, "Well, I'm not going to film with her. Why would I do a scene with Kim?" I mean, I don't think that -- I don't know. I don't have quite a cynical view of it. I just -- I think I was also surprised because I thought Kim was going to talk about some of the stuff that had gone down between them and not this stupid photo. But I guess it's -- I mean, you know, you make really valid points. I guess I just felt like Kim, though simultaneously, was still playing the victim, you know? And she said, "That was a dart. That was a dart." That was a dart, and it was a dart. But, you know, like -- But it was like a dart that was like, "But you do. Kim, you do have to get better, though." Yeah. It's like you're in recovery. You do. Yeah. It's not a judgment. But it is coming from her. Like, if it was -- if you were telling me, "Ronnie, look, your drinking is to the point where people are like, "You've got to do something. That's different." But then every time we have a discussion, if you're like, "Ronnie, oh, well, you're drinking, like, you've got issues. So, of course, you're mad." Like, your issues or whatever, but, you know, you've got issues. So, you know, it's like never arguing with me on a real argument or having a conversation that doesn't revolve around my alcoholism. And when we're going to just mop that close, I don't -- I'm all for calling out people all the time, as you know. But in real life, you don't get to just go up to people and be like, "You're an alcoholic. I want to miss you. Like, who are you? You don't get to do that." I don't know. I feel like you don't get to go up to any random person, but I think if you're shooting on a show like this, and if you've suffered a terrible limo ride, that's a male boo. That one didn't bug me. That one when she was in the kitchen being all passive aggressive, like, "Remember, Kim, how you were in that par, baby? Like, the thing is, I'm worried about you, so I just want to make sure you're okay." And Kim was like, "Blah, blah, blah, am I right?" I was totally with Rayna on all of that, because that was bullshit. Kim couldn't admit to it. It's just that it's still being rehashed, and Rinna's anger level is so out of control when Kim made one comment, like, "Oh, wow, if I said you're sick, your husband's secrets!" And then she went crazy. Like, why is that off-limits, but you're allowed to, like, drag her through the mud. She's got kids, too. She's got -- I don't know. I'm flip-flopping because Kim hasn't been on TV, and so now I'm, like, totally nice to Kim again. Yeah, I haven't had 20 episodes to grow to hate her. Yeah. You've actually flip-flopped within the past ten minutes. I do, that's all I do. Like, you know, I'm really loving Lisa, I mean, Lisa Rinna for being our, like, our cock-a-doodle, whatever. Well, I do, like that. But that's Lisa Rinna being cuckoo and saying, "I own it," but this, she wouldn't. She was just like, "You're a drunk, basically, and kept walking away." That's not owning it, you know? Yeah, no, I agree. I think that it was an opportunity to have, like, a constructive dialogue, and Rinna was not open to it at all, which I thought was unfortunate. But I also feel like it was still also Kim playing the victim. Oh, yeah. I guess they both were wrong. How about that? How about that? It's like we can't even choose the side on the show, because they're all dumb-dums. Speaking of dumb-dums, I love that Yolanda went back to the group of, you know, the B team, and they're like, "Well, tell me how wet was Lisa Vadtepob?" And she's like, "Oh, how do you think it went? She denied everything, and she didn't do anything." And I thought that was a very funny shot to get a Yolanda, because she's always trying to stay back, like, "Oh, I didn't say anything about Lisa. It's everybody else doing this, this, this." Like, to see her spoiled. Loved it. Yeah, and this is also the woman who, like, 20 minutes ago in the show was like, "Well, I don't have much energy left." You know, the little energy I have left, I don't want to consider myself with this. And then meanwhile, she's there still now, like, from, like, 10 conversations later, still gathering evidence and still displaying plenty of energy for this nonsense. So, Vadtepob's basically like, "Okay, bye, I'm done." Ken's like, "Can we leave this trash heap now?" She's like, "All right, darling. If you want to go, I'll go to you." And then Yolanda's going to leave to you. No one's winning anything. And everyone in Eileen's still on the side fuming. I was dying, and Eileen's like, "How is this even happening?" I mean, everyone is mad at her. Everyone has an issue with her, and she gets to just walk out. Yes, Eileen. Yeah, that's what Yolanda does, too, by the way, Eileen. Have you noticed that? At the exact same time. Yolanda's like, "I'm taking private plane, home. Goodbye." Yeah, yeah. So now we go to the Yolanda divorce party. So now it's like two months later. Two months later, like a day before Real Housewives of Beverly Hills premieres. And did you recognize any of these scenes because this is exactly what they did when Russell killed himself in season? Yeah, no, I agree. They gathered everyone together. On the white couches, at least his house, and pretend everybody gives a shit. Yeah, so Yolanda, suddenly she just starts babbling about it. David and I couldn't dip together, so I needed to have a safe condo space. I got to condo because it was safe in my family. I was like, "What are you talking about?" Like, don't act like you had a choice to continue living with him. Like, you even kicked out. Well, I'm still not sure on what's happening here because everybody's saying they've been separated that whole season. So I get if you don't want to bring that shit on the show and she's going to lie about it. I'm not going to be like, "That liar!" But I mean, I just don't believe a thing coming out of her mouth. I didn't believe her marriage when she was walking around with her, "Oh, my king, my king." I didn't believe it. I just don't believe Yolanda. She's a waste of my fucking time. This woman cannot be real. And then speaking of her little best friend comes over. She's wearing an earth-tone shade of gray with skeletons all over it, which was hilarious to me. You wore the Deathpawn show. And Yolanda, one of the first things she says is that, "You're the only one I'm confiding in." I'm like, "Well, guess what? You know what? More manipulation. I'm going to make you the special one." I mean, it's crazy to me. It's crazy. She's so manipulative. When she didn't confide in her at all, this is all after it happened. "I'm fighting and you're after I got a new apartment, and this has gone on for one year." "Oh, wow. Thanks, hugs." Yeah. And then I liked how Rinna and Eileen got together to talk about it. And they were talking about how they reached out to they texted her. And Rin's like, "Well, you know, she didn't write back anything, but I did get a prayer hand back in emoji." "Well, thank God for that." I was like, "I got one of those, too." For the moment, when Yolanda told Erika, "Well, you know, if you're in a marriage and you're not making each other happy, you should leave." And Erika's just like, "Looks like a deer caught in the headlights. That's not the advice to be giving to a woman married to Don Rickles." "I don't give a fuck." And Erika just kept finishing her sentences. "Well, I feel like you feel terrible because you got divorced." "Yeah, since you know divorce, it's final. It's the end. Like, it's done, right?" "Yeah, since you know the outside." "Oh, the outside's amazing. I love outside. I don't have a fuck with anybody, so I don't have afraid of skin cancer." "Shut up, Erika." "I know, I know." And then meanwhile, Eileen, so Eileen says, "Well, now that it's out of the bag, I bet she'll feel real better." And Rinna says, "I think she'll feel better real quick." So I'm like, "Aha." So now you stupid ladies, you know what you just did, you just accidentally owned it, baby, about questioning her disease. Because if she's going to feel real better now, and if she's going to feel better real quick, you know what the implication is there? That what was going on with her health was more than Lyme disease, which is what Kyle and Lisa were saying all along, that she's sad, she's depressed. So for you guys having this bombshell revelation, like, "Oh, wow, she's going to feel better now," well, you have confirmed everything that you just got all mad about and dragged us all through. That it's an emotional issue going on with Yolanda, in addition to whatever Lyme stuff's going on. That's a good point. I didn't put them all together like that. I was just like, "It's just woman nuts," because Rinna's like, "Yeah, do you remember when I said there's something else going on here? I mean, I knew it, you know, and that's heartbreak, that'll break your heart. Her head wasn't connected to her heart, and that's why she felt sick." Yeah, so you realize you're just saying in a different way where Kyle and Vanderpump said, and you're totally confirming this idea that there was more going on. When that happened, I got so mad. I was so mad. Like, you just basically destroyed your friendship with Lisa Vanderpump over nothing. Yeah, but they still don't even see it that way. That's the funny thing. They keep twisting it to make it some other thing. Lisa's show ended in a good note. It ended on a good note, I should say. With Yolanda zipped up in some big silver turkey bag. It looked like a Capri Sun bag. She was actually in a life-sized Capri Sun bag. I think it looks like one of those things she put the ham in size so you can bake it in the oven properly and keep the juices in there. And, of course, Gigi calls up and she's shopping with Kylie and Kendall Jenner. Just awfulness. Everything about that was awful. And then Rina goes on and she goes, "I heard this down because she contracted herself." She said that she doesn't like being judged. She didn't like being judged. And then she goes, "Listen, love me, hate me. I am who I am." Well, if you are who you are, then why do you care if you're judged? Which one is it, Rina? You're not owning it, baby. Well, I'm judging. I'm looking at this picture of Yolanda in the ham Capri Sun bag at More League, and I have to say, this is so beautiful on so many levels. She's surrounded herself with medical jars filled with God knows what. There's like eight jars there. A bottle of sparkling water. Then behind her is like a horse, a horse statue, which, you know that's how you got the fucking lime in the first place, bitch. Then next to her are the books that she said she didn't even buy them because she likes them. They would just look pretty on a shelf. So she's got these fake books behind her next to a Lime Academy Award. Yolanda, fuck off, lady. I know. You know, it looked like she was in a contraption from the movie "Sleeper." You ever see "Sleeper"? Which one was that? It's a Woody Allen movie from the '70s where he's like this guy from Brooklyn who wakes up in the future. And all these people in the future have these bizarre gizmos and gadgets and strange outfits, and that's exactly what Yolanda looked like. She was in a rejected costume from "Sleeper." Well, before we put this show to bed, I mean, before reunion time or whatever, I have to redo some of Renah's blog because you're going to love some of the stuff that she's out in here. I think, yeah, I think I read some of it, and she gets real nasty about Vanderpump, right? Yeah, well, she's annoying because we read Vanderpump's blog last week where Vanderpump finally loses it, and it's like maybe I should have asked her what it felt like to sleep with a married man. And they're like, "Oh, how dare she?" You know, they're acting like, "Oh, my God." So she still references that. She opens-- For a woman who works 18 hours a day, has 250 employees, three shows on Bravo, three restaurants, eight dogs, five swans, two tiny horses, two grown kids, and a 70-year-old husband. To take the time she took to write that mean blog last week. Wow, baby! Eileen is such a solid, good human being and friend, and she absolutely does not deserve any of this. Sorry, but yes, she does. Okay, she should take it. Okay, okay, I already know, I already said this. I'm as sick as you are with the same shit being hash and rehash, blah, blah, blah. But here's the thing, I want to-- I watch along with you, and when I see this whole game of telephone spend wildly out of control, we watch someone tonight being Yolanda relaying incorrect information. I feel like I need to bring it back down to the basic facts and truth. Wait, she's going after Yolanda again now? Yes, because Yolanda twisted that thing and said, "Wina said that you're the one who said month out, and this is why I'm loving it." You just point her, it's truly like we said, last week or whatever, Sally Field and Soakdish, and you, and you. I had nothing to do with it, and you! Thank you! That's pretty much-- and that's why this is so good, because now it's about Yolanda again. And Yolanda messed up the information. Now listen to how much Lisa Rinna's story has changed. My longtime hairdresser, Faye Woods and I, had a discussion about Munchausen. She told me she knew someone who had Munchausen, and given what she'd seen on the show and online, she felt Yolanda's actions were quite similar. That was when I first looked up the M word. I passed this information along to Kyle one night when we had Sushi at Shoe. We spoke of the conversation I had with Faye Woods, and we discussed Yolanda's Instagram picks. There was no ill intent on either of our parts, and again, I'm telling you, I'm the one who brought this topic to the girls. I have not, and will not pass blame about this within our group. I was the one to bring up the M word, not Lisa Vanderpump, as Yolanda said at Kyle's party. What? Alright. Okay, Rinna. Rinna, you could have just, if you know, if you had just stopped bringing this all up over and over again, you could have avoided having to write this blog to clarify all this bullshit, but go on. I mean, okay. She's never said that Lisa was the one to bring up much as. I don't think she has said that, but she has said Lisa is trying to make her talk about. She can't even keep her story straight. Okay. I passed this information along to Kyle one night when we, oh, I already said that. At some point, the conversation Kyle and I had at Shoe was relayed to LVP because she knew Kyle and I had discussed the picks and the M word. Okay, so Lisa and Rita and Kyle go to dinner. They're discussing the M word and making fun of the Instagram, basically. Kyle tells Lisa about it because that's how Kyle rolls. Okay. So now do people see why Lisa would say, thank God, I thought you were going to bring Kyle into it because you were the one having dinner with Kyle and talking about much. Yeah, we're trying to save you in this. Okay. Listen, we know we come down on you. We, but like, please, you are burning a bridge with the queen right now for no reason. She has not manipulated you. You have misinterpreted her. Okay. Just own it, baby. You misinterpreted it. Okay. So the next is last week we, this clip was leaked of earth, whatever leaked. It's like politics, but of the reunion where Lisa Rinna is just going off on Vanderpump and doing her little dance in the air and brings out phone records because Lisa Vanderpump says, I barely call you anyway. Like I hardly ever call you. She's like, you never call me. I've got phone records, baby. And she starts dancing around in circles or whatever. And Lisa's like, are you all right? Okay. Rinna responds to that with his next paragraph because of course the internet went crazy on her last week after that. So she goes, well, we were at dinner in Malibu at the Malibu farm. The night Kyle invited us all to Dubai. Lisa Vanderpump said she had never spoken to me on the phone and I can say without a doubt that she has indeed called me many times. Let's break that down a bit in one phone bill cycle. I spoke to LVP on the phone 10 times and within a specific 24 hour period, she called me five times to infer that others knew I had brought up the M word and further hinted that in her opinion, I should sooner or later admit this. Okay. All right. That sounds like good advice to me. Wouldn't you rather have somebody tell you? Kyle is probably going to bring this up. Which is basically what Lisa's saying. Kyle basically can throw you under the bus. So I would say on camera before someone else has a chance to make you look like a goddamn idiot that you brought up much housing. Yeah. Exactly. That's pretty good advice. And if you're going to take down Lisa with phone records, then I suggest you look into some other evidence because, okay, so she did call. Fine. That doesn't do anything. It doesn't change anything. That's just, okay, so Lisa fibbed about that, like it's no big deal. And last week, it was everybody saying that they were all on this I message where all these messages where they were all three making front of the Instagram and this and that when it turns out Lisa wasn't even on those it was just Kyle and fucking Rita. And now they're bringing Lisa in. It's like she's making it. She doesn't know which words for herself. We need Dean Strang and the other guy to come and saw like way through all this evidence and present a clear case because it's just getting. And the keys fell out. Just like that. That's where they came from. It's like, lady, you're not, they're going to write a whole, you're right, they're going to have a whole Netflix documentary about this shit. Yeah, exactly. Darling, I just was looking in the lawn and I just, I happened to see the car there underneath some trash. That's all. Darling. Am I going to Miss WrestleMania? Yeah, yeah, yeah. To me, it seems like Lisa Vanderpump really wanted Kyle to take the heat along with me. But why? Maybe because it was your two fucking idiots fault for bringing up much housing, then telling her about it and getting all worried that you were going to bring her into it on national TV. You dope. You just answered every question of the season. Thank you. I really, really wish we could sit down with her and just straighten her out. And it wouldn't be a mean thing. It's just like, no, no, no, right now. Here's the situation. This is how rational people are viewing it. And if you just look at it, you'll see how it makes sense and you're all worked up over nothing. Now go fix your friendships before it's too late. Oh, and then while she's talking about being shallow, she's like, meanwhile, back at the disco, Ken had some real choice names to call me. In one conversation, he managed to call me fucking stupid bitch, silly cow, not the full ticket, and a wanker. I actually find this rather amusing because, you know, I googled the definition of wanker. Go ahead, you do it too. I promise you'll get a good laugh by the first definition you see. Oh, whatever. Okay, so buy until reunion time, you stupid show. Oh, alright. Jesus Christ. Oh, yeah. Feisty. Feisty episode. You guys are not as annoyed with us as I am just because we had to regurgitate this shit for an hour and ten minutes. I know, and I hope that everyone goes and looks at footage of Yolanda not thanking people, because to me, that's a real character. That shit is hilarious, and I'm going to watch that from now on in every scene Yolanda's in. Well, it's annoying because it's going to be a reunion, so there won't be a lot of compliments. But I wish I had picked up in this like six episodes ago, because, you know, everyone always says, "Oh, Yolanda, you look so good. Oh, Yolanda." And, you know, thank you. Oh, Yolanda. On the Yolanda. Okay, let's take a pea break, shall we? We're back. What do you want to do next, buddy? Uh, you know, your choice. Ladies' choice. Oh, I will say, southern charm, just to have a little break from these housewives. Yeah, sure. Why don't we go from Beverly Hills to South Carolina? Uh-huh. I know that they've always had Cameron opening their show by being a total bitch, but I love it. I love her previously. She's like, "Previously, Thomas was a loser." You can't think of it. [laughter] Previously, Catherine was a slut. Yeah, always good. Um, this episode was a little different from most, in that they tried to do, they tried to give Cameron something to do in this one, which normally they don't. Yeah, she decided that she's going to throw a dinner party. Uh, 'cause normally we don't, she's rarely in her house. This is the most we've ever, I think, even detected of her husband. We got to hear his voice on the phone at some point during the episode. She was pissed about that. Oh, yeah. He had to, like, steer away. He was on call, quote unquote, "on call." AKA, like, hanging out at Denny's until the camera crew's cleared out. Pretty much. So she doesn't know how to give it to a dinner party or whatever. So this is, like, Cameron's being wacky and trying to figure out what goes in the kitchen. She's like, "I'm paying!" What? I'm so stupid, but it wasn't enjoyable. It was. And, you know, we got to see, um, the etiquette lady, uh, I forgot her name, Pollock, Suzanne Pollock. She came back, uh, 'cause as we remember from last season, she tried to help Catherine be a lady, and then, you know, now that-- Cannot work out. Yeah. Got knocked up a second time. Suzanne's like, "I really need to improve my repertoire here." Move on to an easier case. I completely lost a single woman, darling. Give me another chance. Here, how about Cameron? She seems like she's pretty easy. What's a pan? Oh, Jesus. I didn't even register for things. I mean, I didn't know what to get. I just told the lady at the register can, or just put whatever I should have on there. She did a good job. I got a pan. Is a sauce pan a pan that's made of sauce? I don't get it. Salt? What am I going to do with salt? She's like, "What kind of salt do you have, honey?" Well, you know, just salt. No. What's this thing in the oxo box? I thought that was just a box of hugs and kisses. What's a pan? You pulled that thing and water came out. I mean, what is that? A sink in a kitchen? That is crazy. No, no, I want to wash my hands in this thing. Is this a thermometer? I always thought it was a straw that was blocked. It was, like, desperately cloying and annoying, but also funny. I was there. I was there. I was actually laughing. I was laughing. And I was glad that Cameron was making an effort. You know, I think at some point they were like, "Look, if you're not going to put anything in your real life on camera, you have to do something other than just be me to people and the previously." She's like, "Oh, okay." And Patricia immediately knew that this was going to be a problem. She's like, "All right, I'm going to donate Michael. Otherwise, it's just going to be a terrible dinner party." That scene with Patricia, "What the hell, Patricia?" Okay. Love. I see no offense, Cameron's like, "Well, I'll just ask the granddong, Patricia." She's like, "Well, hello, darling. Welcome to my home. I mean, would you look at this little thing? Did you get a dog?" No, an intern. God. With a hedgehog. With a hedgehog. Can you believe that? She's like still going after her LVP things with, like, a ton of dog shit in her house and her captain and her fabulous life, but she won't get the hedgehog. She makes some intern do it. It's like telling. Interns. Interns just, like, poke to death with quills. It's like... That's like what intern horror stories are made of. Oh, one time I had to go get a hedgehog, and I came back and my fingers were bleeding. Oh! Like someone was saying, "Do you want to talk to Sonia's intern who went crazy on..." Did I tell you this, by the way? I should probably be saying this while we're not recording. But someone said, "Do you want to talk to Sonia's intern who went crazy on the internet and outed her for being such a horrible woman?" I was like, "Yeah, of course." We should come on that. Yeah, we should find out what the story is. I should have gone on it earlier, though, because now I'm just like, "Do you have a hedgehog?" Because otherwise you're useless to me. I do like that Patricia is really filling that void between LVP and Sonia Morgan. You know, like, findings were the best of both worlds. You're going to get computer number three. I won't hold the animal, but my roof does leak, so we've got that. I dropped a blackberry in the toilet, so it's been clogged for four years. No one knows how to get rid of antiquated technology. And I love that Cameron is the biggest, you know, Cameron is Patricia's dream. Like, this is the kind of girl she wants. She will listen to everything. She knows all the rules of the South. And Patricia is even so rude to her. I love it, because I'm curious as to how you're going to pull off a dinner party. Well, Carl Suzanne, she can help you. And we'll just send Michael over. If you have any questions, you can go to PatriciaTrisha.com and go to the bottom of the page to ask Michael a question. All the kids are doing it. Yeah. She's like, "I don't understand how you're going to do a dinner party without a butler." You have a butler, right? I'm assuming you have one by now. You are over the age of 17. Is that one of those things you make eggs in? Oh, y'all, hopefully. Let's get out of here. Is that one of those things that holds up a church? Darling, that's a buttress. I have big buttress, and I cannot lie. No, darling. Oh, it's fun. A guest list rundown. 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So she didn't invite them, which of course we know is going to lead to total disaster. Like darling, we've never used these folks before and I don't want the first dinner party somewhere to be stabbed with one. Is that so wrong? Okay, honey. She didn't invite them. Yeah. Cameron was on the real world San Diego. She can handle drama. That was the season where Robin was arrested for slapping a marine on the shoulder. No kidding. If you don't have someone there who you're going to be able to give bitchy comments about later, you're going to have no role on this show, Cameron. Yeah. Her husband clearly said, "I do not want these low-lives." I mean, her husband obviously has standards. He refuses to pure on camera. He's clearly like old money, waspy, whatever. So he does not want trash like Catherine and G-Rav in his home. And she seems to have that fight within herself because she has that part of her. She's on a reality show again with Cray Cray's. She's got to love it. And she keeps walking around like, "Well, I'm not the perfect southern girl and this and that." But then you see her house. It's like the perfect southern house. Everything is in place. Her hair is perfect. Her clothes are perfect. Her husband is too perfect to be on TV. Yeah. But she's still a mess. Like she wants to be a mess, but she just can't. And I like that struggle. Yeah. I don't think it's funny. But what else was okay? I need to move on in it. Let me see. Drama. Oh, I did like that she said, "Re Thomas and Catherine." Drama doesn't just come into your life. You either start it or you're a part of it. You allow yourself to be a part of it. And I thought that that was true sage advice. Yes. That I need my own life. Mm-hmm. But then I thought, "Why did you just write that down when this bitch is on a reality show?" Like you allow yourself to become part of it. You signed a contract for season three, Cameron. Exactly. Exactly. Well, so meanwhile, you know, the bad news for Catherine is that she is not only not invited to Cameron's party, but apparently there's some manner of a flamingo party on the horizon. And Catherine did not get the invite for that because she was driving with her friend. What's her friend's name again? Jennifer. Jennifer. Jennifer who did her lips all of a sudden, now her lips are plump. She looks different. Jennifer's like, "Hey, you're going to Patricia's flamingo party, right?" And kind of like, "Erm, well, no, I didn't know about it." Oh. Oh, that's too bad. Are you sure? It's like, "No, I didn't hear about it." Well, maybe you need to check your Spain folder. No, that is it. Catherine gets all pissed. Can someone tell me what I have done? Can someone tell me what I have done to these people? I'm like, "Catherine, I'm with you so far because so far you're normal. You're knocked up again." Which, you know, if I was Dr. Laura, I would say that's your own fucking fault, stupid. But I'm not. So I'll say, "Okay, I'm with you." It's your fault. You're fucking stupid. (laughter) I mean, it is. Still, I like her, you know? Plus, pretend. Let's not pretend that there's no reason that people don't want you here. She says that they're choosing Thomas aside. No, they're not. He's not invited either. Yeah. They don't want either of you two because everyone else has more or less well-adjusted. The biggest drama is like a bow tie goes missing, okay? And then you two are actually full-on having babies, like babies that you don't want. And then you're using it against each other. You both get drunk. You both yell. You both fight. You're also like 23 years old, Catherine. And the rest of them are in their 30s or even their 40s, okay? So there's an age difference. You just don't fit Ann Darlin. Well, 90% of the time we've seen Catherine at a party, she's making it all about her. Screaming and yelling at everybody. Screaming fuck you to people. Well, let's not pretend you're confused as to why. Yeah, you're just like crazy. I want people to stop associating me with my past lady. It's not like you have a past as like a bank highest person that's 10 years old. This was like a month ago. Yeah. And you also, by the way, like you have on more than one occasion gone off on Whitney and yelled at him and made fun of him. And you have not necessarily been wrong. I think I've actually supported you in all those moments, but this is Whitney's mother and she is during the flamingo party. So why don't you just pour yourself a meat and julep? Not alcoholic and just sit by the slave cemetery. Well, here's where I flip flop again. Because of course, Catherine, I mean Cameron, what an asshole. This is not just a dinner party where you don't get to invite people. She's icing her out of filming. You know, so those are two people. Those are basically, here we go again with these women ganging up to ice somebody out of shooting again. You can't do that. Like you're on the same show. This is not a regular dinner party at your house where you get to like be all snotty about it. You're icing someone out of filming. And that's not cool. It's her job too. Yeah, but it's going to lead to some delicious drama. You know, because this show always has like light, fizzy drama. There's never anything too serious, but once people start denying camera time, that's when the real claws are going to come out. And it looks like it's going to happen this season for sure. Oh, yes. We also got to see in this episode, this show really knows how to surprise us while being the most unsurprising show on TV. It's pretty simple, but they can still shock us. I mean, they brought JD and then they're like, hey, congratulations. JD is a total shifty douche bag who's about to rob somebody on national television. Yeah. I mean, he could not be any more out of like a Cohen brothers, you know, oh brother, we're art thou. Oh, come, come on, Craig and come, come invest and be a partner in my hotel group. Yeah, welcome, welcome, Craig to the big leagues, brother. Take a look at these papers now. You're broadcast, didn't you? You're broadcast. You're broadcast, didn't you? Yeah, you got it. Well, you know, you don't have enough casting after you sweat equity. So he has to pay 15 grand and work for free. Stupid Craig. Yeah. Craig's like, well, I have to work for sweat equity because everyone else has more money than me. And then JD, let's face it. Craig was shitting the bed last year. I can relate to that. My friends got my back to sign this paper, Craig. I was like, oh God, what a slime bag. I know. I'm like, haven't I? I feel like I've seen this in like a million different musicals. You're signing with the devil. JD is clearly the devil, by the way, right? Yes. He's the devil in that stupid musical about baseball. What's the damn Yankees? He's like, you want to sign this paper, Craig? You're dancing around with baseball bats. By the way, we just have this Ishka Pomeroy. One of our Twitter followers says, Katherine doesn't know how to act. She made her bed outside of being preggers. Needs to hashtag, stay in her lane. I love that. You got Ishka. You got Ishka. That's another. That's another stay in your lane reference. Because Kim said that about Renee. She's like, hey, she's just smarter on business. Like, stay in her own lane. Like, you drive drunk every day. That's beautiful. Yeah. So the other, what else did we have here? And then we already talked about Patricia, Whitney, and Thomas. Wow. So they go to, they go to the quote unquote best French restaurant in all of, in all of the town. And now I know that Charleston has great, a great food scene. They're doing the next top chef there. And they go into this French bistro. And it was the most hilariously, like, like American version of a French bistro. Like they had, like, the poster of the, of the black cat on the wall. You know, like, shot in the wall, shot in the wall, whatever. Yes. Yeah. Oh, the shit that you buy at Ross, you know? Yeah, it was all like, it was all Ross French decor. So funny. And I love on the way it's a patrician Whitney in the car. And they're laughing about inviting Thomas because Whitney still hates his ass. And he's like, well, we have to shoot the show. So mom made me invite him or whatever. And I don't know who said it, but one of them was like, well, this should be hilarious to watch him whip out his terrible French accent. They knew, they knew what was coming. Uh huh. And that's exactly what he did. He's like, je proun, la duke. I don't think that's how you say duck and French. It's not duke, Connie. With me. That is Pepe Le Pew French. Okay. Yeah. Also, the language in the show cracks me up. It's the only show on Bravo where you'll hear somebody say, I've had enough of his jicandery. Yeah. Yeah. And then Patricia's reading the menu in these opera glasses. What the fuck with this show? I love it. I also just love how Patricia sees Whitney as nothing but just the most wonderful, wonderful, successful young man. And they're talking about, um, I think they were talking about how Catherine was using the baby against Thomas. And I guess you're talking about child rearing. I forget the context, but she goes, you know, Whitney has turned out to be absolute perfection. Oh, it's like his father and I had no acrimony. There was nothing pernicious for Whitney's sake. And it worked. Whitney has turned out to be absolute perfection. That's, I had to write the whole thing down. I was like, you said in one scene, you said, chicanery, acrimony, pernicious. And perfection regarding Whitney. The only thing we've seen your son get right is his Botox this year. Okay. It's been three years. And we get incredibly certainly is not the, uh, read knob, latest album. Now, I love to laugh with Patricia. I think she's one funny bitch, but man, she is a bitch. And if you, if anybody doubts it, this scene, I do not understand it. I do not understand a woman who is such a woman hater when she's such a hypocrite. So they start talking about child raising and Thomas, of course, is like, I'll give her plenty of money. I don't know why I only get to see my child once in a while. I give a $2,500 a month, which for a rich person is fucking nothing. Like that is nothing. Nothing. Nothing. So he's giving her peanuts and she goes, Patricia goes, so she's using, she's using the child as a bog and a tool. And Thomas goes, don't most women do that? Yeah. And for sure, she goes, no, no, no, no, no, no, they do not. Now that is self-serving and manipulative, not in the, starts judging Catherine, of course, which I don't think she's wrong on that. But then she starts going into her in the dinner party, which I guess we can just skip. We're not going in order, but at this dinner party, she starts, they all have to, Craig does the big, you guys should be inviting Catherine. It's not cool that Catherine doesn't get to tell them. We're going to get back to Craig in a moment too, by the way. Yeah, we can go back, but just while I'm on, uh, Steven and Patricia. So Patricia starts going off and lecturing everybody on what a terrible person Catherine is, which, again, not necessarily wrong, but how gross for an older woman to be, sitting there dissing some 23-year-old who's not there. Then going off and then going into her own history, she's like, well, the first man I married after a few months, and that lasted a second. The next one I married after a day, whatever she was saying. Poor Whitney is like sitting there, his mom is laughing and bragging about her fucking terrible life she gave in. You know, it's just gross. And she's sitting there judging someone else on their southern behavior. Like what woman marries someone, then dumps them, then marries again for like a second, and then laughs about it when they're bragging about southern tradition. Because I guess she never acted like a damn mess while it was happening. Well, you know, some of us are smart enough to get all money when we'd go big. And then she says, then she says, women make themselves so available. You can email somebody an emoji of a glass of wine, and they come over and they have sex and they go home. I mean, it's the end of Western civilization as far as I can tell. I just like that she knows what emojis are. And who's been sending her emojis of glasses of wine? Oh, everyone knows it's the eggplant. The eggplant. It's like, ma'am, I've got another eggplant emoji in my inbox from your website. Get over here, tag, and leave. And then he just leaves the next day until he has to come back and make them more martinis. Before all this, so before this, Craig and Naomi are getting ready for the dinner party and Catherine calls. Oh, because by the way, Catherine is looking for homes. You know why? Because she wants to be more independent. She wants to show that she could be more independent. So like, so you're going to buy a house? That's not how you're going to be more independent. You'll be more independent by getting a job. Gotta work. Gotta work. Get a job. Yeah, that's ridiculous. She's totally got her priorities wrong if you ask me. But then, and by the way, the same goes to Landen. Like, oh, my money is pretty tight these days. And like, well, why did you rent like a three story building? Landen artists. I've noticed that this show, and I don't know if it's a southern thing, but this show kind of gets on my nerves because it's all these women basing their lives and their opinions on what other men think of them or how other men regard them. And I don't like that. Like, be a strong woman. I mean, I get that we're in the South, but Cameron's like, this is what you're supposed to do in the South. I have to be baby. Landed. Well, I was marrying had money, but now I'm going to try and do something else. But man, you know, then you've got Catherine, who's basing everything on her budget that Thomas is going to give her. And you've got Patricia, who just based her whole fucking life on what she can get out of men. It's like, come on. You know, is there any independence here at all? Yes. Her name is Naomi. And she's living in the parents house. Yeah. In the parents house. Exactly. Catherine is shopping for homes nearby, and she calls up Craig is right before Cameron's dinner party. And she's like, um, can I come over? And he's like, uh, okay. I'm like, and then he's, and then after just like, I don't know what to do. It's like, uh, you know, it's gonna be weird because we have to go to Cameron's party. I don't know what to do. I'm like, well, how about you tell her she can't come over? It's that simple. Oh, yeah. We're busy. This is what it calls to come over all the time. They both look horrified. Yeah. I mean, if this is the way you're going to, this is the way you think on your feet, Craig. I'm a little concerned about your impending legal career. Well, first he's got the hotel business or whatever the hell he just bought into stupid. Yeah. So then, um, then when, when Catherine finally does come over, Naomi is like, the funny thing is that Naomi was mad at Craig originally. He'd be like, well, what are we going to tell? What are we going to tell Catherine? Like, I don't know. So then he comes over and Naomi's, Naomi is smart. She says, well, we have to go. We're going to Cameron. Cameron's making some food. You know, she just keeps it simple. And Craig's like, yeah, she's having a dinner party. I'm like, Craig, you're such an idiot. Have you never had to like cover? Have you never been in an in delicate situation before? Gosh, Craig. So dumb. Because Naomi can see what Catherine's doing. Catherine is so obvious. She's like, well, you know, I'm just going to show everybody. I'm independent. So what are y'all up to tonight? Oh, innocent. And then stupid Craig fucks it up, of course. And then she's like, everywhere I turn, the door is shutting on me. I mean, I'm also not involved with the flamingo party. She has an actual quote. I'm not invited to flamingo party. Just a funny thing to ever have to say in your life. It's a crust-less tuna sandwich is being passed around by some old dude. You know, well, terrible music is playing in the heat because you know what's hot as hell in there. So then the dinner party finally does happen. You know, Catherine's upset. But the dinner party does happen. Cameron almost falls over when she gets tangled in a rug, which was really funny. She, by the way, this is like, this is the typical, like, again, this classic band comment of something so small and insignificant. So she pulls out the roasts that she made. And it looks beautiful. And she sticks her thermometer in. And she sticks it all the way through. So it pretty much pops to the other side. And she's like, oh, it's overcooked. I'm like, no, take the temperature from the middle. From the middle. The middle. What is that? That's something you make salsa in. And for the record, it was cooked perfectly. I was like, oh, my God, that looks amazing. Yeah, that lady has some good advice. She's like, I was in pepper, throw it in the oven for two hours. Okay, I can do that. Yeah, I was like, Jesus, that is the most beautiful roast I've seen in years. Jesus. I'm scratching my homeless beard. Especially considering that was cooked on a pan that still had soap sets on it. Oh, I know. I was like fumes. I wrote that down too. Okay, so we are the same. So I was like, enjoy that fucking soap fume that you're marinating that thing in, bro. It's, it's, yeah, I was like, whoa. And then Patricia, I love also Patricia bring brought place cards. She's like, don't worry. I brought place cards. Because I loved it because to me, it wasn't an example of her being bossy or pushy. It was, this woman's just so bored. You know, she, she has all these little crafting supplies. She's always crafting and making scrapbooks. And she's always like, well, it's not a party unless I bring some sort of craft and supply. I've got these at Michael's and found the pan of Joanne. So, I mean, it's a dinner party. Why not bring it? She wants to be a mom of a little girl, you know. Yeah. Yeah. I actually thought it was oddly enduring that she brought the place cards because it's like, that was the highlight of the week. She's like, well, I brought these place cards. Look, they have little devils on them. Oh, it's so funny. I put one outside in the dog poop area in case Catherine decides to show up. So, an integral. Yes, sorry. Oh, no. No, go ahead. I was going to say there was a new girl named Chelsea there who already shep has his eyes on. He already earlier in this episode invited two girls, he's bowing to the bar and then they've sat on either sides of him and he had and he acted like nothing was wrong. I just want to be one of them guys. I'm just a guy who wants to make people laugh. I mean, maybe her anybody's feeling too. That's stupid. Shut up. Who is believing this with Shep? Okay. Those girls are all over Shep because he rich. Yeah. Stop pretending it's something else. Like all these old dudes on this show have all these 20 year olds following them around. Like in this scene, there's Danny, the hot 12 year old model that Whitney's dating lord. That woman just needs a place to stay in Bellaire. Whitney's not dating Danny. Isn't that the model from last year? Oh, no, no. Danny is Shep's ex who always hangs around. She's like a symbol, yay. And the model Whitney's model is often France. Oh, I'm so sorry, Danny, for putting you in bed with Whitney. Yeah, that's like the most offensive thing that's ever happened to her on this show. Baby. You're all mixed up. Baby. I own it. Except that it was Ben's fault for writing that down in my notes. I own that Ben's an idiot. Okay. There. Martini for Pat. Shep and Whitney, blah, blah, blah. A lot of this is like fast, affordable, right? I'm just like looking through this like I don't even know. I don't know. I know. They just bash Catherine because you know, by the way, that's like, that's like their version of Netflix, you know, that's, that's what they have to do in that town, like go somewhere and bash Slutpicks. We'll just go down the list of every slut in this neighborhood who's doing things incorrectly and opposing the Southern tradition. She gives them a lot of material. I'm sorry. It's, you know, she, she huffs out of parties. She sulks at parties. She yells at people and this is, you know, this is what Patricia said what you said before. She does all these things. Of course they're going to talk about. I would talk about her. We're talking about her at this very moment. Here we are. Yeah, she seems like she's so sweet and then she just unleashes. I loved that they were eating the food. They were going through the buffet line or whatever and this is a boring party. Let's face it. Everybody's like bored and they're going through the buffet line and Patricia goes, where's my end piece and Cameron's like, Oh, someone took, someone took Patricia's end piece. He's got it. Like what? No one even knows what an end piece is and then she finds it on someone else's plate, takes it with a fork and then shoves it on Patricia's plate and Patricia instead of even being offended just goes, Well, thank you, dear. You just ain't meat off someone else's plate. Well, to be fair, Danny was never going to eat any of that food anyway. I know. So I took the end piece because I thought it was disgusting. Nobody would want to eat it. Sorry. Let's see. So then yeah, Craig tries to get her reinvited and Cameron's like, well, you cannot reason with an unreasonable person and then it became about how awful Thomas and Catherine are and my opinion stays the same. You're on the same show. Get over it. Yeah, but I'm okay with like a like an early season disinvite because then it sets the stage for anger for the rest of the season. Oh, yes. And it's going to be good because Catherine's trying to act on nice again and you know that that's out the window by week three. I just hope that Thomas is Sandy Duncan campaign manager shows up again because everyone shows up like once you appear on Southern term, you just continue appearing for the rest of the show. I mean, the fact that that Suzanne Pollack is back just shows that once you're in the fold, you're in it for life. Yep. So give us the campaign manager. Oh, yeah, we probably need her again because Catherine is delusional enough to make Thomas delusional enough to run for something again because Catherine goes, he's good at manipulation. I mean, he's such a good liar. That's why he's such a good politician. I'm like, he got 4% of the vote or some shit, lady. He's not good as a politician. Yeah. Working up the wrong tree girl and I can't wait to watch it. Yep. So let's go to New York City now. Let's go from yourself to the no war. Let's go to those Yankees. Those damn Yankees. Oh. That was a weird Lisa Rinna meets J.D. left dancing around with baseball bats and singing musical songs just to make this all make sense. We're team, damn it. I really don't like that musical. That's one of the only ones I don't know. Oh, no. You know what's from that one? That was green acres, as I say, whatever the law is. You were seeing the green acres theme songs. Yeah, I was. Green acres is the place. Speaking of green acres, we start off at Jules's apartment. Where we get to see the crazy morning rituals of getting two spoiled children off to school. And I say that, really, it's not an indictment on the kids. It's an indictment on their parenting because Jules is like, she's like, well, you know, waking up to kids in the morning is really hard. You know, it takes them forever to wake up and then they always wanted jacuzzi. So they're always, you know, an hour late to school. But whatever, it's private school. I'm like, are you serious right now? Yeah. We pay for that. So they don't have to follow the rules. Fuck off. Your kid wants jacuzzi, you're running late, the kid does not get to get the jacuzzi, okay? Well, she's obviously lying about all of this, which is cracking me up. Like, she's one of the most transparent people that's ever been cast. I'm normally, it takes me a while. I like to warm up. Literally. Literally transparent. She can't eat more. She's such a faker. She's saying, oh, I do this every morning for my husband. Doesn't know how to use the coffee. Doesn't know how to make coffee. Doesn't know how to cook. When she's giving her kids a bath. She gets soap in one eye and then sprays the other one in the eye. I'm like, you've obviously never done this before. Stop pretending. She's like, I'm always confused at the Filipino nanny as she like, those are kids like right off into like a pond and they're stroller as she's checking her phone. It's like, yeah, I don't think, I think they know that you're not nanny. The nanny's standing right off camera shaking her head like all these poor children trying to shield them from this. Kids are fleeing dog poop from the park at each other. Totally. Jules is one of those idiots that brags about how idiotic she is. She's like, I don't know how to do this. I don't know how to do that. Why are you expecting people to impress with your stupidity woman? Why brag about it? Yeah. This is bitch for real hate. That was my advice. She's not making a good impression on me just to start with. Hater. Hater. So next is Bethany. It's my birthday. Okay. You know, so like on my birthday, I like, you know, I do what I do with my birthday. So, you know, you know, you know, yeah. How was it the first week last week when this show came back on? I was giddy watching it. I was laughing out loud. I was like, I am so excited by the end of this one. I had a literal headache. Oh, yeah. I was, I was still excited. I was still giddy. Listen, when you have a scene of, when you have a scene of Derinda bragging about how she likes to narrow John's back and how their rituals involved, I don't know how you can't be giddy. And also Bethany, who's spending all of her time calling Derinda in alcoholic, is like, oh, it's my birthday. He has some champagne. Yeah. Cuz. What a bitch. Yeah. So she's buying herself gifts from this jewelry store, which of course she puts skinny girl all over the jewelry store. Right. Of course. And Derinda, I don't know why this made me laugh. But Derinda going, Hey, you know what, I love Pearl. I don't know why that made me laugh, but it did. Cuz she's so nervous. You know, she's like, Oh God, what is this Bethany bitch going to do to me? She's already called me an alcoholic. What's coming? What's coming? Yeah. Bethany. Read with everything. So Bethany, I have to point out Bethany is an evil human being. Okay. I know that we go back and forth on this, but she is the worst. This is her first scene in the show. Yeah. She's handing so much. She thinks this is an alcoholic drink. Yeah. Then she's skipping over to mock said woman's boyfriend. Right. Then she's dissing Ramona and Derinda's like, Well, maybe Josh should stay at Robona's house, you know, because she does love John all that much. And she's like, Who cares? Like what? You're still with Ramona? I mean, I've never been with Ramona like I trust Ramona and then what does she say? I'm trying to find it. I remember. I don't remember what she said there. But this for this one scene only, I was only, I was half watching. I was distracted with something. This is when I was running around this morning and I was like trying to do a million things. So this actually specifically the scene was one that I tuned out of. She made. Oh, Bethany and Carol. So later, I guess there, wait, I don't know, Carol's there somehow. Oh, yeah. They start talking about Ramona and then Bethany is like, Whatever with Ramona. I can't with Ramona. Like I give her a chance and then boom. She like ruined everything like she ruins my life or she does. She says something like that. And then she's on Ramona side again. I'm like, Jesus Christ, you have one person that you're true to anywhere. Well, I mean, Bethany, I'm interested to see what the public reaction is to Bethany because like two days ago, she got into some serious hot water because she was speaking at an entrepreneurial something or another keynote speaker. And she basically was saying, well, yeah, you know, if you're a minority, if you're a woman in business, you have to hire a white man to negotiate deals. Otherwise you're not going to get your funding that type of a white man. Oh my God. The internet is going berserk. Yeah. So and then, and so then on top of that later on this episode when, uh, when Jules is trying to wash the, wash the, the uncoacher shrimp off her hands and Bethany is like, and then I say that in Japanese, like, uh, Noah, I see, Oh, not smart. Oh, I'm like, Oh God, Bethany, you are going to need some sensitivity training very soon. No kidding, I mean, we're furious at watching this fucking twit wash her hands on the ice bucket. It was disgusting. I'm co-share shrimp. Yeah. Yeah. Because you just touched everything on the plate. Yeah. Why did you do that? How could you not see that they were shrimp? How could you not see that they were? Goes and puts our hands over all the food and then their face and then their hair and then washes their hand like gets lemon and squeezes it all over the floor and then puts our hands in the ice bucket, disgusting and most people on a house with housewives fans, they would have gone eight shit over that for a month, but then Bethany has to top it off with racist bullshit. Yeah. It's like, what the hell Bethany can be even worse than the worst. Well, to be fair, when Jules was touching the shrimp, that is her version of eating. Okay. It's like a fly, you know, if life just has to land and it's like eating some sort of Yeah, it absorbs to her like, it's one of those people who won't vape because she thinks there's calories in it. Yeah. More on. I have to read this though, since you brought up this thing. It's on Jezebel. I won't make it the whole thing. Don't worry. But this was a tweet because there's no video of Bethany at this women empowerment bullshit that she was speaking at, but she pissed people off. This was one of the tweets from somebody who was there. I was stunned when Frankel implied that women should have sex with men in exchange for capital. I was offended when she expressed some kind of kinship with black women because she's loud. And I was taken aback when she advised those of us in the room to get business advice to hire a white man as the face of our companies. Ouch. Yeah. Girl. Yeah. And in fact, even the woman said, like, I don't disagree that there's racial bias when it comes to VCs and funding and business, et cetera, et cetera, but that the way she said that and what she said was just really, really, really bad. Yeah. Bethany's tweet to argue it all whereas if it's here somewhere, but she wrote something that was like, yeah, black or white, I say, Oh, I don't care if you're a woman, man, black white Hispanic, green or purple and biz, biz in life, be better than everyone else. Don't complain. Don't explain. Okay. Great. Did Bethany just say, don't complain because I think that's sort of what she does, right? Yes. Pretty much. She doesn't ever explain, but she does complain and ask other people to explain constantly. So meanwhile, Luan and I believe Luan and Sonya were hanging out and Luan is just being totally shady about Carol. She just keeps on, Luan is like, she's, this season of Luan, her character is in this very strange place talking about how, who was she saying, oh, it was saying that Bethany crawled up Carol's ass, et cetera, it's going to be a nasty season. Oh, yes. Yes. So Luan's going for it. Carol is over at this jewelry store or whatever, going in on her too. Yeah. And I was kind of liking it. I think it's funny that Derinda is trying to play the peacekeeper and everything. She's trying to make everyone be nice to Ramona because Carol and Carol, of course, is like, oh, I didn't tell you about the lunch with Ramona two hours passed and she never took a breath. She wouldn't shut up and Derinda's like, well, she's not being harmful. You know, it's just rub all about it. It's exciting, like, you know, how Ramona can be. It's just been funny, you know, she's a good person. And then that's when Bethany says, every time I invest in Ramona, I get burnt, which I love that Bethany to her friendship, even that's an investment, you know, her terminology. Yeah, exactly. Don't complain. Don't complain. Derinda says in 20 years of being Ramona's friend that has never happened to me, right? No, Jesus. Never happened. I was like, warning. Yeah. You just jinxed it. I like, by the way, how Luann was cross-cutting back and forth that she's like, well, you know, when Carol and Adam got together, it was very hurtful to me and my family. But I'm over it now. And I just wish Carol and Adam the best. I'm like, oh, please, Luann. I love you. I love you, Luann, but you cannot lie for shit. Yep. And then she's like, well, you know, Bethany, I mean, I saw Bethany quite a bit this summer. I saw her at a fourth at July party. I sang at it. Yes. Yeah. Yeah. I sang there. You know, one of my gigs. I saw Bethany there. You know, she was coming up to come. Like, Luann's on the mic. Everyone starts the fireworks. Starts the fireworks. Aim them towards the drag queen, and then Sonya goes, Luann finds something on the table. She's like, what is this? She goes, oh, you know, I saved my kitchen for demons. It's like, oh, God, you do that, right? It's just not really. It obviously doesn't work. There's his Luann. Exactly. Yeah. The demons are my friends. The demons wrote my first song. Demons can't buy you class. We changed it. She say la demon. So next is Dorona Ramona for the obligatory Ramona. I don't need Mario. I mean, what the heck? Look, it's my apartment. You know, I got my apartment redone, because, you know, Mario, it's not Mario anymore. I do what I want. That's a new me, okay? Okay, this apartment, it's like, you know, like a rid of Mario stuff. It's like he was never even here. And then, you know what? Now it looks like me. It reflects me. So you see, you can see all the warped angles, and you see all the strange colors, and it's like a fun house on crack, and sometimes a clown walks through. It's just like me. Oh, did you hear a creek in the floor? Mario used to make that creek. Is Mario here? Mario? Never mind. It's just me. Yeah. No more blinds. Okay? Because I'm not blind anymore. See? It's just like me. There's a table. Because I love eating a table. It's just Ramona. It's Ramona table. I've always loved furniture with four legs. There. I said it. Take that, Mario. Okay, my mother always said you have to get a table that has at least four legs. Otherwise, it might fall over, and you don't need a man to pick up your table. Okay? The only time we had furniture with two legs was one time we were eating dinner. And my mom told my father, "You look nice today, honey," and he said, "Fuck you, bitch." And then he kicked the legs off the table and spaghetti fell on her head. This one time, I remember this is crazy. Whoa. Whoa. It's all coming back to me right now. I remember going into the Berkshires. Okay? We're in the woods. And I said, "This would be a great place to put up a table." So I brought out a table and only had three legs. And Joey and Parson Smith came out of nowhere and said, "Hey, where's the fourth leg?" And I said, "There is no fourth leg." And she said, "Oh, I can tell because watch happens when I do this." And she touched the table and it fell over. And I cried all night long. And to this day, I can never have a table with just three legs. Okay. Oh, wait. A helicopter's above me. That's my friend. Bye. [Laughter] A helicopter that I've heard. A helicopter. A helicopter. A helicopter. A helicopter. A helicopter. A helicopter. A helicopter. A helicopter. You see? Just like... Just like... Mario never wanted me to have a chimney. And I got one, okay? Welcome to a helicopter. Okay. A helicopter. And possibly Santa. Okay. He was just back. Yeah. And then meanwhile... Bethany Carroll. Bethany Carroll. So this is, again, it's classic Bethany entrance. Carroll's just sitting there. And instead of Bethany's going, "Oh, hey, how's it going?" She goes, she's like, "Wow, you have black mascara. You have sex. What's going on? You're crying? What's the matter? What's the problem? What happens to you? What? Someone else died? You're crying again? You're taking another earn? Going to London? How many? What's happening? I don't get it. Okay. I was like, "I'm so excited to tell Bethany about how Ramona just real-roaded right over me." And here she comes. Hey, Bethany, what's wrong? What's wrong? You're not just open. You're about to eat something? You want something? You're hungry? All right. I'm going to rest. I don't care. Get something. I'm not going to have anything right now. I'm not going to have anything right now. I'm not going to have anything right now. You know what I want to do? How's Adam? Oh, how's Adam? He's great, right? I mean, he looks great. Like, you know, he talks great. He looks great. You know, that's Adam. He's great, right? The thing is to go away with you and Adam. That's so great. Jesus, what does he say? Carol's like, "Well, actually, okay, well, actually, it's like love, actually." You know? Like, love, actually, it's like a movie, you know? But, like, not everyone gets love. Okay, that's what happens to me. I gotta get love. Okay, so what? Like, literally, if you're asking about love one more time, I'm going to be crying. I'm not going to watch a movie with a comment the title. That's it. I said it. Hey, you said it. I said that that movie. No, go away. I don't even know what happens to that movie. Is it good? Did you see it? Did you watch with Adam? So what I call it, I call it love, actually, not because I'm not going to watch it, okay? So not actually love. All right. Lorelenn is in. I don't even know who Lorelenn is. Who is Lorelenn? Is her name Lynn or is her name Lore? I don't get it. Like, I don't understand her brand. Is she an actress? Is she just talking about two names? Like, what's happening here? Like, literally, my wall is up. That movie poster for love, actually, too thin. I just can't with that. Too thin. Reminds me of my mother. I gotta go on for, like, another hour, just... Charles, like, then I'll, Adam's doing great, but unfortunately, in five summers, I'm going to be dead. And then... Oh, my God. Oh, my God. All right. So what? Okay. That's fine. Okay. Dead. You know what this is? You know what? Yo, my summer was, it's my summer of zero fucks. I mean, I was a full of no fucks, like, come up with a different title, okay? Clear evidence that she was hanging out with Erica Jane over the summer. Yeah. Exactly. It's the full of skinny girl mofucks, like, braving every damn thing. And Bethany started bashing Luan, like, it's really interesting seeing the battle lines being drawn. Bethany starts going in on Luan, saying how, like, you know, Luan, she's, you know, like, she just keeps on, like, she's like, very aggressive. She wants to know, like, when's the party? When this? No, no, no, no. Like, she's a user. Luan's a user. You know, she's needy. She's just not natural with her. It's calculated. I don't like that. Like, she sent me this text. And she was like, what do you deal? Like, be cool. Like, don't be all uncool. And then Carol goes, like, she invented a new word. Yeah. Well, Bethany is the one who's hawking these t-shirts that say get off my jock. So you know what? Let Luan have her slang. Yeah. Exactly. Is she really? Is that true? Oh, yeah. It's always on Instagram. It's the shirt. She gets this hot guy. I have a t-shirt that says get off my jock. Like, why would I wear that? Why would I wear it? You know, because I hate aggressive t-shirts that are, like, fuck you, I'm sexy, or, like, I don't get this stupid arrow. I hate this. I'm going to go fuck. I think those t-shirts are stupid. So if someone had a t-shirt that said get off my jock, I'm on jock. How about that? Yeah. I'm up for, like, Mike of Saws of Sunset t-shirt. It's, like, a Don Dooley t-shirt. It includes. Yeah. I'm for it. Yeah. So Carol goes, "Well, you better be careful because Luan holds grudges and eventually it's all going to come out. I keep a list of everything she says bad to me." "What do you think holding a grudges me?" Yeah, Carol. Oh, good. It's all going in my buck. Look, it's actually called... So, now Derinda, guess what, Derinda's doing a bra potty. She's a potty because, you know, I've had the same bras since Grace Jones was performing at the Planet Club. So it's not crazy. It's not crazy. Like women are age. They don't, like, understand, like, bras, you know, because, like, women are age. And, like, you set, like, discomfort, you know what I mean? So I'm, like, winning, like, bra, you know, I'm, like, we all have Oprah. Like, did you just get this on your TV? She's like, "Well, I'm tired of red balloon floating in my room." I was like, "Oh, it's a red balloon. I look below. It was a bra." I thought, "All right. It's time for new bra." If Carol Richards isn't here, it's a waste of everybody's time. So then we kind of... Oh, well, we have to get to the John joke. He's like, "You know what, baby?" Oh, yeah. The best part is, you make a mess, and I'm always here to clean it up. He's like, "Yeah, yeah, John. I get a dry cleaning, okay?" You're making the messes, okay? I don't care if your mess is wet or dry, because I can clean dry things, because I'm a dry... Yes, John, yes. You're so beautiful. I want to put you a hanger and rappy and plastic and just, like, buzz you around the carousel a few times from my friend's seat. All right, Janice. All right, Janice. A murder threat. All right. All right, Janice. And then we cut to Ramona calling Bethany, and this cracked me up because the way that Ramona said, she calls up and says, "Happy birthday, Bethany," but she's like, "Happy birthday, Bethany." I know, just make you have a year full of the best, okay, Bethany? Okay. Hi. On your birthday, my gift to you is me being renewed. Oh my God, I rhyme. It's crazy. It's like rhymes. You know what, also rhymes, AOA. It's like, A-O-A rhymes. It's like, I don't know where I'd get these things, I'm divorced, I'm free. Bethany, this is not your old friend Ramona calling for your birthday. It's the new Ramona calling for your birthday, okay? The best thing for this, this whole scene, Ramona is standing in front of a mirror. Yeah. And she's trying to talk to Bethany, but then she keeps shrugging at herself in the mirror and laughing at herself and agreeing with herself in the mirror. She's like, she thinks she's like another person on the other side of the room that she's talking to. I know. The weirdest thing. She's like, hey, are you going to Brazil party? My friend here and I are both going. Her name, she looks just like me. Both going to be there. I might bring old Ramona. She's still on my bedroom. Right? Oh, she's smiling at me right now. She just shrugged. I love your jewelry. She loves mine too. She just said it at the same time. Jinx. Oh my God. There's going to be a lot of cokes to be bought, okay? So anyway, you're going through a rat. I mean, you got a divorce. Like I got divorced. I was like, Jesus Christ, between Ramona trying to make it about herself and Bethany trying to make it about herself. Yeah. Do these women know anything about each other? So the big news is that Ramona had previously told Bethany that some of Ramona's friends were at a party, okay? And they were outside and John was taking a smoke break and John started telling people that he needed to go home and take a bunch of biagras and fucked her in there for six hours. It wasn't very nice, okay? And then here's another Bethany, another evil Bethany thing, okay? After she's just dis Ramona, by the way, she's pretending to be Ramona's friends. And she goes, yeah, I would break that up. Yeah, you should totally break that up. Like if it's uncomfortable, like, yeah, you should totally break it up right in the middle of the Brizia party. Ramona, well, I call it Brizia party because I was born at the 50. So I see Brizia and you were born at the 60s. You say bra, okay, mother always said never say bra, because the people who say bra are just commonplace broads, okay, but not you, Bethany, you're a very special broad, even though none of your relationships work out, okay? This is so good because it wasn't even a party that Ramona was at, and her friends weren't even at it. There was like some other party and they saw him smoking, it's like he was from some place else. It's so weird. It was so weird. They're attacking each other so hard. So now it's time for the bra party and it's being held at the Ganz for it. And what I love is that Ramona shows up. She walks in and she just walks into an elevator that's open and she turns around and she goes, it's not going. You have to press it, but, like, were you, like, do you have, like, second hand, a viva dresser, elevator trauma? Do you not have to operate these things anymore? You just, like, it doesn't just, like, you know, divine your ambitions here. You have to press the button. That was so good. I just want to watch that over and over. It's not going. It's not going. Okay. Okay. Go. Go. It's not working. Go. I'm here. So they get up to the bra party. Jules comes in. Who cares? She's horrible. Jules. Yeah. She's touching everything and, like, getting her nasty hands into everything. And then Bethany walks in, like, oh, look at this. It's a bra party. I went to a bra party once. Like, I mean, I knew someone who, who owned a bra company, you know, they used to have this all the time. Like, like, great. It's a bra party. I mean, I mean, here we are. What are we eating? Like, you know, there's boxes that are booze in the hallway. What are we eating? Like this. It goes just once I'd like Bethany to walk into my house and be like, like, wow, I've never done this before. Yeah. I love that. I love their simmering competition. I love that. Derinda is, like, low-key competitive with Bethany. And Bethany is low-key sensitive about being competed with. I like that. Yes. I do too. Because I don't even know what Derinda's trying to win at this point in this, and we'll get to it. But at this point, Derinda's just on the defense the whole time because she's done nothing but talk lovely about every single person on here. She's like, she was just lovely. Bethany, with Matt Fummel, we hung out in the Fummel. Like, that was lovely. Matt? Yeah, really? Lovely. You know what? So then Carol comes in. She meets Jules. I don't wear bras. So congratulations. And then, so then, they're talking about how Jules, you know, she's got small titties. She didn't breastfeed or whatever. Jules is like, I made an effort, whatever. She made a joke. But I don't know if you heard this in the background when they're talking about how Jules didn't breastfeed, Ramona starts going, "Got milk? Got milk?" Did you hear her doing that? She was like cracking a joke? Because they were joking about her, they were joking about how she didn't breastfeed. Hey, guys, got milk? Got milk? Did anyone hear my joke? Got milk? She's so stupid. She doesn't have milk. You know what? You know what? She doesn't have milk. Okay. Sorry. Stay concerned. Got milk? No. That's a commercial. Like, you gotta add a note to the end. Am I right? Ramona just kept the joking up because she goes from which she's introducing her. She's like, "Oh, look. Oh my God. You look great. You're so skinny. Oh my God, Carol. You're almost as skinny as Jules. Look at Jules. Jules. You haven't met my other skinny friend, Luke. You're both skinny." And then they start talking about the mosquito bites and then Ramona goes, "Yeah. Jules. Jules just has mosquito bites, okay? I have quadruple bites." What does that mean? Got milk. I have quadruple bites. I know. No. It's too much Ramona Blue in the brain. It's not going. So then what's funny is then, again, conversation comes up about Luan. And what was so fascinating, someone said, "Oh, Bethany, you and Luan are pretty close." And Bethany's like, "I would say that we're friendly." I was like, "Ooh, that's cold." Yep. She's coming for everybody already. Yeah. That's harsh. We also got a clip of how Bethany acts on her birthday, sobbing in the bathroom. Yeah. I don't like the thing. It doesn't be about me. I'm sure. Yeah. In the bathroom. So then they get the bra size thing, which was kind of weird. It's like these two overweight women just looking at your boobs and telling you what size you are. Like, "Yep." No. I'm not trusting you. Yeah. I think everybody wears this bra that fits on this show. I've never noticed otherwise. Yeah. I never noticed that either. It seemed like an odd choice of a party. So then what was funny is then everything starts to unravel in ways you wouldn't expect. So Ramona is sitting on the same ottoman as Carol and Carol is making jokes about how she couldn't get a word in edgewise with Ramona. And Ramona is like, "Actually, you know, there's something that you didn't." I love that, Carol. I was like, "You know, it's always a bad sign when you say actually." The moment you say, "Actually, I know it troubles following." And I was like, "Well, actually, it's funny because, you know, I was going through a trauma over the summer and you didn't call once, okay? Okay." And Carol's like, "But I did. I caught you like five times and like I sent you a text on your part of what you're talking about." So it's like the worst time in my life, okay? Like how could you do that? I was like, "The worst? I can't believe you, Carol." She went, "Uh, whatever Ramona." Ramona said, "Okay." And the action started, Carol at one point, and he goes, "Okay, back it up. Back it up." I was like, "Uh-oh." Well, then speaking of back it up, Derinda just laid it out plainly. She goes, "I don't understand why you guys are going to lunch anyway." I mean, like, "Look, Ramona, you should stay where you belong. On the Upper East Side, you have lunch with some like fancy people, you talk, Carol, you should stay downtown, where you get your gluten-free, and you're like children today to whatever." Like, you shouldn't even be having lunch, like, that's the truth, like, just look, I'm just saying the truth, and who says it, Bethany's like, "I love the truth. I love the truth." No, no, no. What happened was, yeah, because Derinda says something like, "Let's not pretend. Let's not pretend." But the thing is Derinda was actually making a joke. I think she was just trying to be funny, making a joke, and Bethany is like, "Oh, good. Here's a way I can, here's a, here's a way in." Okay, all right. We're not going to pretend. Okay, I don't want to pretend. I don't like to pretend. I don't, you know, I hate fiction. Like, why is that? There's a whole section of the book, book store for fiction. Why? It's stupid. It's made up. It's not real. Like, you know what I want? Nonfiction. That's what I want. Okay, you know what? Here's some nonfiction. All right. My wall is up. Nonfiction story. My wall is up. Berlin wall, except it's the Bethany wall in my face. Bridget is the Madison County. I mean, what is that? You just walk over it. It's done. You're done. I mean, what's a big deal? I'm not going to read fiction. Fiction, fiction, fiction. It's stupid. Brothers, camera's off. Who are the camera's offs? I don't even know these people. Like, who are they? They're from like, Russia? Like, I don't even like Russia. I don't even like Russian food. Like, why would I? Who is this? I don't know how to get it. Dr. Seuss? Tooth Vane. I'm like a cat person, okay? I'm sorry. I don't want to read about a cat in a hat. Like, why is there a cat in a hat anyway? Like, it shouldn't be in a hat. What's a Lorax? Like, it doesn't make sense. It's like a man? Is it an animal? Like, what are those trees? I've never seen a tree like that before. Like, I'm sorry. I don't get it. I don't understand it. The Lorax should have lunch downtown, you know? You should just have lunch uptown. That's all I'm saying. That's my pretend. You're just trying to work it out with everybody between the Lorax and Bethany. Bethany would get into fire. Bethany would get into fire with the Lorax. How do you know where I've been? You don't know. You don't know. You don't know my friend. I'm friendly with Dr. Seuss, but I'm not like friends. You don't know where I've been. You don't know what I've been doing. Like, I don't get it. Like, it's a little rude. I think it's a little rude, personally. I think it's weird. Like, I'm sorry. Like, how do you say in Japanese it's a little rude? Like, it's a little rudeo. Sorry. Are we got rude? Thanks, Dan. That's all I know in Japanese. Are we got so? Who wants green eggs in him? Like, I don't get it. Who would eat green eggs? I mean, they do make you throw up. Which makes sense. Skinny girl, green eggs. There you go. Found it. My idea. My idea. It was mine. She's trying to sue Dr. Seuss for coming up with green eggs first. So anyway, Bethany uses this as an opportunity to mention that she didn't like that John was trying to hit her up for business when Dorinda was in another room. So here we go. Bethany has now been with Dorinda alone twice or three times that we've seen. She has not said one time, this is something that happened over the summer. She just keeps waiting to hound Dorinda, pound her over the head in public. It's so fucking wrong, man. I hate that she's doing this. If you have a problem with John, you've been with her twice. You were with her this morning. Bethany, why didn't you say that then? But she has to wait until everyone's gathered and then suggest, you know, which he is a sleep ball. It's not like you can stand up for John. But Dorinda's not. She's being nice. Sleep her alone, man. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I kind of felt bad. I felt like Dorinda sort of got ambushed. I kind of think it's a weird, it was a weird attack too. Like, oh, you don't want, you don't want pretend, like John's going behind your back and everything's like, and then she's like, well, I feel like you're always trying to sell him. You're always trying to sell him, which is true. And then I love that then Dorinda starts yelling like, I'm not trying to sell him. I'm not saying, hey, hey, I'm not selling him. I'm not selling him. Oh, he's a good man. He's like, I'm like, you're kind of selling him actually. Well, she's selling him because they all hate him so vocally. She's always like, no, you know, he's a good guy. Like really nice to me and like, like, dude, this time, like I was crying and then he was like, it's okay. I was like, good, you know, it's a good man. And you know what screw you guys, that's my man. And then Dorinda's just goes on her like crazy drunken, the Hulk. Yeah. Meanwhile, I love every second of and of course Bravo totally undermines her by showing like minutes and minutes and minutes of footage of Dorinda selling John to all the ladies. Yep. But so what so she does. So just say I don't like selling him, but now you're mixing in. I don't like you selling him. And also he comes up to me at a party, like he's trying to ask for my business information and get my number. And I was like, get my number from your girlfriend. Like what are you insinuating, bitch? I don't like it. Bethany back off. Bethany is now attacked every single person in this cast except for Carol because Carol's heads up her ass. And of course, Carol on cue goes, well, I mean, she is right, Dorinda does make excuses for his odd behavior. It's very practiced, which isn't false. But again, get your fucking life, lady. It's true though. She does make a lot of excuses for John, but that's probably also because the woman just never accepted him. She probably feels she has to and Carol, the one person who said something about it. It's like unforgivable now because someone had the nerve to say something about Carol's relationship. That's true. Good point. Good point. Well, then Ramona, you know, some decide that she's going to like throw some gas onto the fire and she's like, well, you know what, I heard he was at a party talking about wanting to take my agra and wanted to fuck you for hours. And then that's when that's when Dorinda just goes nuts and she starts yelling, talk to me separately about it. You hear me? Do you hear me? Who does that Ramona? Well, I was just saying because, you know, like he can't and then yet talk to me as a friend of 20 years, you talk to me shabby Lee, Ramona, what don't you get? And then Jules with her stupid shrimp smelling ass next to her going, oh, it's okay. She's doing the Jules. Shut the fuck up. Get Jules out of here. What do you people bring Jules Jules to a property for anyway? Get her out. What do Jules even become a housewife? I don't even understand. She threw her up at balcony that woman. But then eventually we did get like some classic Dorinda. She said that she was like, back it up, back it up and stop the bullshit. I buried, I married and I like choosing the man away. You don't like it? You don't like it? You don't like it? I don't give a shit. Okay. Now back it up and stop the BS. And then she takes a deep breath and then she's like completely calm again. Yeah. So figured. And then Bethany adds to it by being like, well, I mean, look at you, like this is what you at. How about you stop the BS? Like partying all hours at the night. Like you guys have to be carried out of my house. I mean, that was terrible. And she's like, I left because I felt this soul thing. What about that Bethany? And Bethany kind of looks scared. Hmm. Well, the funny thing is then became an argument about who during this should be angrier at. She's like, Bethany's like, you should be, you should be met her at me. You should be, not at, not at Ramona. Well, I'd be mad at Ramona. You should be mad at me. Yeah. You should be mad at her. No, I love that. Yeah. But Bethany, God Bethany, she goes, you should be more about it me because like Ramona, like you're legitimately friends with her. Well, yeah, like I got something with her, you know, I'm just like some girl. It's a part of this friends on for TV. She's like, look, look at Ramona. She's not trying to be malicious. They cut to Ramona with that look. I'm like, yeah, that's, that's Ramona. She's always trying to be malicious. Yep. That's her point, which Bethany told Ramona earlier in the day. You know, if Derinda, I mean told Derinda, if Derinda was really a vindictive bit, she could have been like, really? Well, you were telling me today that Ramona was an untrustworthy piece of shit and I didn't listen to you. And here you are because then she got a sicked Ramona on Bethany, but she's not, she didn't. And that's like people who are hating on Derinda, I get like Derinda's a weirdo and completely a looney tune and out of, and probably a drunk like who cares. But she's not mean. She's not doing mean shit to people. Yeah. I just think it's that Derinda is now throwing away a 20 year friendship. This is the thing. This is what it's going. This is what's typical Ramona though, because in Ramona, she didn't do anything wrong. She doesn't understand like, but, but, but, but, but, I think Derinda's like just one of those people where she'll take all your shit, she'll take all your faults, but then the second she can't trust you, she's done with you. Mm hmm. Yeah, you can't, someone doesn't just suddenly become more trustworthy, you know, they stay, they get worse and worse. So this commercial came off for, there goes the motherhood. I didn't see it. I didn't see the commercial. It's kind of funny to me. So then Derinda, you cross the line and it changes things, and that's okay, okay. Ramona was a sanctuary of safety for me, that's done. So, okay, I get it, you're right. It's weird that they're dumping her. Now Derinda, to call Derinda crazy from watching the show, you would be right on the money, because she acts like a lunatic. Well then she went on Twitter. She was also on Watch What Happens Live, and I watched a little bit because it was also Donnie and Marie, but just Marie, which was really weird, and I wanted to see how Andy would handle that, and it was awkward and gross. And he was like, okay, I'll name one star you've, you've worked with, and then you say something about them fast, he goes, Tina Turner, she's like, oh, well yeah, I did work with Tina, well I worked with Tina and Ike, and he goes, oh really, well, what's the story? She goes, well, I could hear them in the next dressing room, so glad she got away from it. I was like, wow, funny story Marie, thanks for coming on, Jesus. So Ronnie concentrate, ADD, Derinda. So these are not in order, and I didn't even look, because you know Twitter, you have to hit the tweet and see all the replies, I didn't do that, I'll just read her tweets. Really, reading is cheaper than actions at Ramona Cinco, at least get the phrase correct, oh yeah, because Ramona was saying, what did she say? Actions speak louder than words, but words allow that, or she said something so stupid. Cinco, what the fuck, Carol Radford will, but thank you for your cases of eight, your eight cases of skinny girl, Margarita Bethany, I would have preferred you come and celebrate with us since we're friends, he is, she just basically went off the aisle and get everybody. She's a disaster on Twitter, she's always is. She went on a just a drunken, crazy rant on Twitter. I think while she was at Watch What Happens, which is hilarious, the commercial, or I'll say fuck you to Bethany again, that's right. Yeah, God bless her. So at the end of the day, all these bitches are crazy, but Bethany seems to have some evil in her heart, and me new likey, like at least be nice to someone. I'm okay with it, I'm okay with Bethany right now, I think that they're all, yeah, they're all Looney Tunes, she is, you know, she's just frustrated with all of them because they're all drunk older women who don't know how to handle their booze and won't shut up and she's sick of it. And so she's just going to call everyone out on their shit. That's basically what's happening. Well, good. I'm glad that we have something to disagree on because at this point, I'm like, take her down. And I'm loving that Derinda is coming at her like a drunk Kuzhou and she is not afraid of this bitch. We have not seen somebody come after Bethany this hard. Mm hmm. I don't think and not going to be afraid. Bethany actually looks scared and next week, John comes in to the party and he's drunk. Yeah, he starts telling Bethany and then Bethany, you know, stands up to him because he can't hit her. He's a man. So she starts going after him and then it gets really good. Yeah, I'm looking forward to it. Well let's see. Then say it, eh? Yeah, I'm going to be broadcasting next week from New York. So that should be fun. I'm going to Toronto tomorrow morning and wish me luck and then, so I'm excited. I am going to ground zero of Real Housewives of New York City. Not actually to ground zero, but going to, I was going to say, I was like, that came out really wrong sounding. I already made a joke about Kevin's nine, 11 hours. Look at the new towers. Like here they, here they are. This is where Mario first proposed. They would do that. Like bring some fucking new ground zero shit onto the Real Housewives to get their own attention. Little bastards. Yeah. Exactly. Well, have a safe trip. You will still be here next week on the show. Mm hmm. Yes, I will be. On the show from New York and the following week we will have Miss Heather McDonald here to talk about the Beverly Hills women that I'm excited to hear what she thinks about this because it's, you know, it's always, we, we, we are so on the same side generally. Like we, we have this all, we've got it all figured out. It's nice to hear other people's perspectives on this whole situation. Yes. Agreed. And I'd love me some Heather. So it'll be fun to talk to her. Everybody. Thank you so much for listening. It's been a really fun week over here. We'll talk to you next time, watch what crappins.com for all our links, patreon.com/watchworkcrappins for our bonus episodes and Facebook.com/watchworkcrappins to talk crap with us and other listeners. We love you. Love you. Bye. Bye. Bye. 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