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And if you're hoping unqualified orders, see sight for more details. This time of year is busy. Family obligations, holiday parties, travel, relaxation might fall to the bottom of your priority list. You guys, you need to take time to relax, and you need to be somewhere where there's soft, white sand healing crystal blue water cloudless skies. We know where that place is. Aruba! Shake off any cold weather blues, and enjoy the islands invigorating sunshine. Aruba has the most sunny days anywhere in the Caribbean. I promise you, this trip is going to be at least 10 times better than the trip to Aaron's Hampton's home on Real Housewives of New York, but that doesn't take much. I mean, it doesn't even compare. Aruba is a geeky gorgeous. Please always choose Aruba over Aaron's home. We know you can't stay on vacation forever, but a trip to Aruba, honestly, it just never ends. Because the happiness and relaxation you feel in your bones, it just stays with you. Book your trip today at aruba.com. Try texture for free right now when you go to texture.com/crapins. Texture.com/crapins. Watch what. Crapins. Watch what. Crapins. Who cares? What happens when there's so much that crapins? Crapins. Crapins. Crapins. Crapins. Crapins. Crapins. Crap. Crap. Crap. Crap. Crapins. Watch what. Crapins. Crapins. Who cares? What happens when there's so much that crapins? Who cares? Crapins. Who cares? Who cares? Who cares? Who cares? Who cares? ♪ I've been sparked there so much that's rapin' ♪ - Today's episode is brought to you by our premium subscriber, Kristi Dowherty. Hey everyone, welcome to Watch or Crap and it's a podcast about all that crap on Bravo that we just love to watch. I'm Ben Mandelker from bsetblog.com and the banter blender and joining me as always is the lovely and happy and talented and funny, super funny Ronnie Karam from trashbox.com. - Damn. - Hello. - Hello. - If we sound like we are dragging ass today, it is not, it is because we're dragging ass, but man, we're still having fun. We just recorded that bonus and laughed our asses off, but we're talking like this. We're very NPR today. - We are very NPR because last night we did Watch or Crap and live at the Hollywood Improv. Thank you to SciGen Network for setting that up for us. It was so fun, so amazing. What a great show. - It was so fun and it's posted, so go listen to it if you haven't heard it. It's a free bonus episode, everybody. - Yeah. - Go on over there. - That's free, is it, is that an hour, did you put it in our feed or is it just on Patreon? - It is, everywhere. - Everywhere. So it should be in your iTunes, everything. It's on top of the fact that it was just like a fun episode, like the actual episode that we did, we had so much fun with. It was so great to meet so many fans, so great to meet people like Brandon and Craig, finally, and then also Tara and Tina, also from newlyweds. Everything was just so, so wonderful. Oh, and you know, we went to pump afterwards and saw Lisa van de pump and Joyce. - So, a little Yo-E-C. - And we had tacos, so. - Those were delightful little tacos. I normally don't approve of a midget taco. I don't like it. It was time, oh, I mean, how do you even make corn tortillas that small? But, I mean, just lovely at the end of the day. Just lovely. So if you want, we talked about our extended thoughts on the whole evening on this week's bonus episode, the other bonus episode, the proper bonus episode for our Patreon patrons. - It's a lot this week. - Yeah, we were rolling this shit along. Yeah, I was so excited after the show. Like, I mean, I literally, like, it's like two hours. I just was like buzzing and I couldn't focus. So anyway. - I did too. It was so fun. And thank you to everybody. - So, so much for coming. And just for being such rad people. I'd love that we have so many people who listen that are just snarky, but also lovely at the same time. I mean, that's very hard mix. - Yeah. And by the way, thanks to everyone who bought us drinks. That was really cool. - Hauler. - Oh, and Christy, I didn't get to say goodbye to you last night 'cause when I went to leave, you were, I think, I don't know where you were, but you were nowhere to be seen. - To be paid in or parking or something. - Oh, stupid, stupid Christy. (laughing) No, Christy is wonderful. - Stupid parking. - Stupid parking. - Parking's the worst. Am I right? - Who does that? - So anyway, it was great. Go listen to, if you weren't there, go listen. And in the meantime, go to Facebook.com/watchworkrapins to get all the Watch For Crapins news and updates. See, that's where things get posted. That's where everyone posts all their fun, hilarious links. We learn about everything from there. It's a great online community. Go there. Go to WatchForCrapins.com to find out where you can follow us on Twitter and Instagram and anywhere else. And then patreon.com/watchworkrapins is where you can go to support us and our supporters get access to things like the bonus episode, which is not the same as the live bonus episode, but the bonus episode, monthly hangouts, ringtones, which Ronnie just put up. And also, you get to submit your questions to the Crapins mailbag. So that's that. That's that, everyone. That is that. Too bad. But you know what, though? We know a lot about Bravo, I would say. And when it comes to magazines, you know what you like and what you know, right? Yes, of course. And the texture, you can get all the magazines you want in one super convenient place. Yes. Texture has completely reimagined magazines. Giving you the articles and stories you really want, all in one place, plus interactive features, videos, and recommendations just for you. Yes, we are so excited to have texture. And once you've had it for a while, picking up a real magazine just feels like such a waste of muscle movement, like this thing is so big. They're so expensive. They're ridiculous. How much novels used to cost back in the good old days? It's great to use novels. And if you want to cook, if you're someone who likes to cook, you can have like several, you know, like cooking magazines, like Bon Appetit, et cetera, just right there on your phone. You don't have all the magazines leaving, they're just right there, everything's right there, okay? It's nice and easy. So sign up for texture right now. You gain insider access to all the content in the world's best publications, okay? And the best part is that texture is offering our listeners a free trial right now when you go to texture.com/crapins. You'll gain it. What about that, you will gain unrestricted access to the world's best magazines from back issues to the one on Newstance today, like the Gwen Stefani Miracle Baby at 46. Yeah, Ronnie had a moment with Gwen Stefani at the live show. So for those of you who want to hear more about that, another plug for our show, so it wasn't really Gwen Stefani. Yeah, so try a texture for free right now. When you go to texture.com/crapins. That's texture.com/crapins. Do you know how much, Ken and I have done for texture? Okay, let's get on with this show. This is a humongoloid. Humong. The loy. We're going to talk about Southern Charm, and we're going to talk about Wilhela's of Atlanta. Epitomic, the first. You know what we're going to do? Oh my God, I can only hope. We are going to open up the Crumple's mailbag. (vocalizing) Oh, mailbag. What you got from me today? Burt, my mailman. Well, of course I don't actually have anything queued up, so I have to navigate. But while I do navigate towards this, by the way, we had a special, a special leak of Erika Jean's new song that we played during the live show, so everyone go with that. Oh, wow. That's on Patreon. Look at you, Ronnie. Yeah, I got on my post indeed. Yeah, you got all your posts in it. Okay, here are the questions. Do, do, do, do. Oh, wait, do we have two Crapins mailbags? No? I didn't do one. Oh, okay, I got confused, 'cause I thought, oh, there's more comments. Oh my God, I was confused. I was like, where did all the comments go? You guys, this is the way the episode's going to be. I'm sorry. Just put it on speed. You know, you can play, you can play podcasts at like twice the speed. Yeah, that might be a good one to use that feature. Yeah, so Betsy, remember how Betsy lost? We didn't ask Betsy's question. We had to like search around for, we finally found it and I lost it again, but it was something along the lines of like, I think we're OBGYNs. We answered this one, I thought we did this one. We're OBGYNs and like, Vicki has a rash, I believe. And how we describe it? Wait, is that what it is? I'm sorry, Betsy, we're just totally destroying your question. Get the next one, I'll be all fired. Okay, here's Betsy, but Betsy has a new question. Okay. It's like torturing Betsy. We made her post it twice and then we're like. Sorry. Sorry, Betsy. You can, wait, why don't you look for Betsy while I read her new one? Yeah. It's a double Betsy day, guys. Double Betts, double Betts in the mail, Betts. It's a deep, it's the crappin' spell, Betts. Double Betts. She says, hi, guys, hi, Betsy. I hope you found my question posted in last week's mail back, insert goat noise here. This week, I don't have a question as much as a request for some throwback. Watch for crappins. Mass and Hilda Brand's laugh. Martin Lawrence Balard, shopping at fresh and easy. And maybe it smells like Redux. Thanks for indulging me. Oh. Ronnie, you were the king of the Mass and Hilda Brand laugh. Do you remember how it went? (laughing) There it is. It's a meanfully laugh. (laughing) I've never trust somebody with a laugh. Now look, I laugh like Satan. Hmm, uh, like a satanic goat. I know it. You shouldn't trust me either. Do not trust someone who laughs like, (laughing) I do not nice people, okay? Yeah. Now Martin Lawrence Balard, for those of you who weren't listening to podcasts back in the day, when million-dollar decorators was on, Martin Lawrence Balard was one of the designers on it. And I used to see him shopping at Fresh and Easy, which was hilarious because he'd be sitting there and be like, "Oh, I'm here putting wallpaper "on the walls of the woman who created Jimmy Choo." And then you'd see him like purchasing, you know, plastic wrap red peppers in the discount aisle at Fresh and Easy. Good old Martin Lawrence Balard. Fresh and Easy. Oh, I do hope that they have some more tomatillos available. (laughing) Canned would be just fine. I saw him at the Abbey one time, and he was sitting in front of that gigantic fireplace. And I said, "Hey, I love your show." And he went, "Thank you darling." But the way he said it, it turned to me, and the fire was like licking on his face, you know, it was like that fire like on his face. He was like, "Thank you darling." Jesus Christ, you sucked your soul out of your body in that one moment. He's like a vampire who just drinks the filler out of your body. I was like, "Thank God, I don't got fillers." That shit would be sucked out by now. I could fill her vampire. He was probably just trying to like hold all his rage inside that there weren't more patterns and couches and ottomens in the Abbey at that moment. (laughing) This place is too sparse to decorate. I need more things, there might be a vinja, or at least the frozen aisle at Fresh and Easy. (laughing) Do you know, they search a loter there. To the latter, it's like ice cream, but without the cream or something. I don't know, I found it in Italy. Have you tried the pre-made Mexican salad, simply divine? I'm installing a gelato machine in your homes, $30,000. (laughing) I'm hoping that this way I won't have to use so many fresh and easy points when I purchase my hot dogs. (laughing) Could you imagine him arguing with the machine at Fresh and Easy? (laughing) This will not take my bell peppers. Can I get someone, someone, anyone? Why, why, yes, I am using my own bag. Why do you ask? (laughing) What scanner should I put this on? That keeps asking me to put it on a scanner. I don't see a scanner. I found this bag in Italy, but I didn't buy it. And when I got home, I was so upset that I had it flown to me. (barking) Are you still checking out? (laughing) Fine, if you don't want to hear my story about Italy, then that's fine. I don't have to buy your strawberries. Would it help if I used my bag from Russia? (laughing) You know, I was perusing your house with items. I thought I was, couldn't help but notice that you seem to be out of all, or as I like to call it, A-L-L, that's all. I love eating here at islands. I've just come back from islands. I thought it would be the same, it's not. But I love your burgers. What are my favorite restaurants? The Elephant Bard reminds me of Inja. Oh, Martin Lonese-Ballard. Yeah, so the question from Betsy is from 315, and it's the OBGYN thing. Do we do it? I thought we did that. I thought we did do it, but she says we didn't. So why don't you ask it again? Okay. Well, we'll do part of it, we won't do the whole thing. We won't do the whole thing 'cause it was like five questions, right? No, it's just one. Oh. You're an OB, or she's an OBGYN. Okay, you, one of us are gonna be that OBGYN 'cause she's the OBGYN member. I remember this. I remember talking about this. Yeah. El Paso forever, Chewie's Tacos forever, girl. Yeah. You have to see the following patients in your office for a guy no visit. How would the interaction go? I swear we did this, but I don't remember. I swear we did this also. Yeah, let's just do it again. I think Betsy's gaslighting us. Like, she is. Like, I wonder if I could get those idiots to do it again. Thanks a lot, Betsy. El Paso humor right there. Yeah, fuck with each other there. You guys didn't do it. Do it again. Well, we can just answer it really quickly 'cause I think I have a better question. Rastin, okay. These are the problems. Vicki has a pesky rash after an eye of it on delays. Rinna has a troublesome discharge. Bethany's having hot flashes. Adriana comes in for a standard pap smear. Brittany and Kristin come in for STDs screening, and Catherine is pregnant. Again. Thomas. I was the OB/GYN for every single one of these cases. I would whip out a packet of sandpaper and a caulking gun and say, go take care of this yourself. This is not something I need to see. Bye. I would just hand over my medical license and go to fresh and easy and help my heart's blurred at the machine. Did your new job. I'll see you at the next start. This bell pepper is on sale and there's a leaky discharge. Worth it or not. I can't believe that you would sell a produce that has leaky discharge. It's just absolutely abhorrent. Listen, Mr. Balard. If you'd seen what I'd seen in my medical practice, you'd be thanking the days and all you had to see was leaky red pepper discharge. No kidding. Yeah. Are you sure it's ruined by bag from Inja? Yeah. Okay, so Kate A asks, I have one question and one comment for you guys. This also kind of feels like the end of Survivor. You know, when someone says, I just have a question for you and a comment for you. What was it like winning so many challenges and why are you such a bitch? Kate A says, question. Ben, did you know Mindy Kaling when you were both at Dartmouth? Comment. I recently listened to your Munchausen Hunter's international episode and I thought it was hilarious. (laughing) I forgot about that. And I thought it was hilarious when you brought up Rebecca DeMornay and wondered what you'd been up to because I'd just seen an episode of Law and Order. I asked a few guests are in Rebecca DeMornay as a lawyer with Munchausen. With Munchausen. (laughing) A lawyer with Munchausen. Oh my god. This is what I love to podcast. Objection. I have rheumatoid arthritis. (laughing) So the question, did I know Mindy Kaling? I did. I did. I still know Mindy. I mean, we don't hang out. But like, if I ran into her on the street, I'd be like, okay, what's going on? We'd say, hi, we'd hug, whatever. You know, like, why didn't you invite me on that trip? Why? Why did you not invite me to-- Maybe Kaling was in your frat. Mindy, yeah, no, you haven't been to it as a matter of fact. Mindy and I were both in the humor society together. I was in the humor society freshman year. She was in that too. We sort of just knew each other from around. And then we also interned for Conan together. I was actually, what I interned for Conan after my freshman year. And I became, the thing is with Dartmouth is that after the summer, after sophomore year, sophomores are required to be on campus. It's called sophomore summer. It's kind of like sleep away camp. But-- - Jerking off, jerking off, out in the open. - It's 'cause what happens is then, since you're there for the summer, then you take off a term. It sort of helps their housing. So what would happen is there would often be Dartmouth people who would be off for winter term, let's say. And so they're always looking for internships, et cetera. So I interned at Conan after freshman year. So it was in the summer. And so then I became kind of like the Conan internship link because they needed interns in the winter when it was like low intern season. And then people who were off needed internships. So I totally hooked Mindy up with an internship at Conan. And then I also went back and interned a little bit more. So we were interned together. And-- - Well, I would say call that bitch for some payback. - But you're staying with me, so enough of that. - Well, you know, I'm sure our paths will cross again. No, I run into like every blue moon out here. So, you know, so the answer is yes, I do know Mindy. - There you go, there you go. - Oh, last question because you have so much to talk about today. Let's do this one from Ruth. Ruth messaged us. So by the way, we have to see the message. We're really bad about checking messages on Patreon. So just everyone, if you want to leave a message in the crap is mailbag, make sure you leave it in the comment section of the post 'cause we don't always see the messages. - It doesn't notify us oddly enough. And then it says notifications with a little red dot on it, even if you've checked the notifications. - Yeah. - It's so weird. Get it together, Patreon. - Get it together, okay. You do not have an angry swan at the top of your website. - Oh, we were talking about Patricia's website on the phone. - Okay, I'm sorry, I'll be quiet. - No, it's okay. And Seaboy camp, which is why I mentioned it. - I know why I mentioned shurking off out in the open. Okay, there's like a lot of, we just been talking for a long time. - We just don't know. We don't know what we talked about last night or an hour ago or right now. So Ruth, the Ruth, the Ruth is on fire. - She's like, "I'm an OBGYN." - Goddammit! - I'm a Spartacus. I'm a Spartacus. I'm an OBGYN. She says, "Do you think Lisa Vanderpump will quit if these bitches are actually successful in their unveiling of her manipulation of drama? Heart you guys, Ruth, heart you too, Ruth." No, she won't quit. No, she ain't gonna quit. - 'Cause they ain't ever gonna be successful. - And Lisa is doing that for her restaurants and her other show. So she, I think she's probably got one more year. I think when she goes out, she's gonna go out on top. She's not gonna go out on a victim season. I think she's gonna get people fired. She's gonna pull her NeNe out and get some people fired who need to go. And then, of course, she wouldn't manipulate it darling. I think she'll just flat out say, "Get rid of her!" And then she will be back and be the champion next season once again. And then she'll probably leave. I think she's starting to see that it's like every other year now. - Yeah. - So she's probably gonna go out on top. I would imagine, who knows so. - Yeah, and you know, you're right. This is like a big money maker for her for her restaurants. It really, I mean, it's just, people go, we went to pump last night. It was a Monday night, the place was packed. The only place on Monday night in WeHo that was packed, Mickey's had some people in it. But, you know, the place is packed and she and Ken were there, obviously with Joyce. And honestly, almost every time I've gone to pump her, sir, she's almost always been there, you know? She's smart. - She knows where the money is. - She knows what she has to do. Yeah, you know, I mean, remember when Heather DeBiro wants to start a restaurant? I'm like, "Well, you have to be there every night." And she's like, "Well, I mean, clients, clients, clients." And you know, I think Lisa is smart. She knows what she has to do. She knows she has to be there. She has, she has, she has an attraction for her things, her places. 'Cause people go, they see her and they go home. They say, "Oh my God, we saw Lisa Vanderpump." We go on our podcast. We say, "We saw Lisa Vanderpump talking with Joyce." And more people want to go now because they know they could see Lisa Vanderpump, so. - Yeah, and I think she just loves that. The fame of it and being there and just being like, "Darling, darling, darling, darling." I think she likes that. There's something about that to her. (laughing) - And also, it's the only place you can go to get some warm fucking potato salad. - So, she's definitely keeping that restaurant open. No matter if that goes broke. She's like, "Darling, where am I gonna warm my potato salad?" - You know, we heard some stories about Ken last night as a boss. We heard that he like pulled aside a waiter who I think used to work there. I was like, "Oh, I don't like your attitude. You have to smile or if you could be working here." He gets like real tough and like Guy Richie like. And apparently the guy had to like spend some time with Richardson learning how to smile while he serves. - Oh, that is hilarious. He also, the story, that's funny. Who was telling us these? Because I heard a story-- - He's our friend. Our friend joined us. - Oh, oh, right. He said that Ken walked up to one of the new, I think it was one of the new bartenders and he pinched him in the stomach. Like he pinched his fat and he said, "We don't have that here. People here take better care of their bodies." - Dang it, I'm boy. - And he's right. - He's got some makes on. What the hell are you talking about? Spanks, get out of here. - He's right. I saw like two days ago, I saw one of the pump up bartenders at the gym in the locker room and his shirt was off. There's no fat. There is no fat to be seen. - Well, they can't have it. Those shirts are tailored. I mean, you see their belly buttons. You know who's in any or an Audi? Those poor little whore bartenders, I love it. Do you remember when that bartender, he was so gorgeous, by the way. Not as cute, but reminiscent of Brad Pitt and Thelma and Louise, like that type. - Yeah. - Oh my God, I mean it's so cute. - Huh? - You mean that pump? - Yeah. - That was the one who I saw shirtless. - You saw him shirtless? Oh my God, I'm getting a boner through your memories. - Oh, I certainly did. I'm telling you, all everyone who works at at least have had a pump for a restaurant comes to LA Fitness first, okay? That's where I saw a team Katie there. I've seen Kristen there. - It's like in Grand Theft Auto, would you start with $10 and you have to go to the porch in first? No offense to me. - Yeah, no, it's your Jacks used to work there. They all come through LA Fitness first and I check them all out and then they go off to big, wonderful things at Crunch. - Yeah, they all go to Crunch, but you know there's still reality people 'cause they ain't at Equinox. - Yeah. - That's trying to be all fancy with your gym moves. Reality people. (laughing) - You have to work your way up to that. (laughing) - But very cool. - One day you'll afford a gym that doesn't smell like feet. (laughing) - Someday. Equinox, man, I wish I could afford that. It's just like that gym is set up. Have you ever been to that Equinox? Like just like a guest pass or something? 'Cause I went there once on a guest pass and that locker room is set up. It's like a runway and the guys just come down in itty bitty towels, if at all, with their beautiful muscle-clad bodies, just they know everyone staring at them. It is like, it's like heaven. - I would just pretend I'm Yolanda Foster sitting in the front row of my daughter's fashion show. I'm just like, "You look wonderful!" (laughing) - You like holding up tens. (laughing) - Just talk to people like Ken. - You're too fat for this gym. Get out. (growling) - Well, my friend used to be a waiter at Villa Blanca and Ken was, Ken did that thing. He's like, "I don't know how to do it." And by the way, he was like a totally nice guy. I don't know what the attitude came from. So he got fired, actually. And then I think that my friend tried to do some sort of racial discrimination thing, but it just didn't, I don't think anything happened with that because I don't think it was, it probably was not racist. It was probably just Ken being like, "I don't know how to do it." He doesn't like anyone's attitude. - He realized he didn't have a case when there were like 30 other waiters who had been fired 'cause Ken just doesn't like her attitude. (laughing) That's Ken's way of saying you're fat, bye. - By the way, two weeks to get rid of that muffin top, it's still there. No one's drinking, goodbye. - And by the way, have you seen their house? Not every restaurant or has a house, like the Vanderpumps. They know what they're doing, okay? If they don't like your attitude, there's a reason why. 'Cause they know how to earn their money. - All the waiters with attitude have been fed to hanky in the Villa Rosa part. (laughing) - All right, let's move on to some real news, y'all. ♪ My mail bank ♪ ♪ Don't need starfish mail bank ♪ ♪ Don't miss mail bank ♪ ♪ Don't miss ♪ ♪ Don't miss ♪ ♪ My best ♪ - What do you want to start with Southern Charm? - Well, Southern Charm, God bless this show. God bless America and God bless television for giving us something goddamn new to watch. - I was so excited to have a new show. - Not only that, what an intro, I mean, Southern Charm really, they went for broke with this. And this is akin to New Jersey season three. We started out with them walking into like a christening and almost fighting and punching and then disaster. This one was like, oh, I knew something was up because the tone was too fast. It was like, we were just dropped into something. I knew that Bravo was gonna do something crazy. I was not expecting that though. - Man, it was the waspiest version of the christening ever. It was like wasp reenacting the christening. - This is the value. - How dare you? - It was the wasp version of fuck you, fuck you, fuck you, you're cool, fuck you, fuck you. That's what it was. - Thomas has gone off the rails. And that's, I guess, the season finale that they were showing. - Where he's just telling everybody off. And it was so good. - Shep looks disgusting in the scene. He's all, he's not, no, beard, beard. - Yeah, bad, bad, on sour. You cannot pull that off, dude. You look like you have dentures. You look like an old person with like, you're just an old, sloppy man. Go, shave, buddy. - Shave, fix the plaque situation. And then, you know, he looks like he just got off a raft. Like he was, he was fully like Robert Redford in all his loss to whatever it was. You know, he was, he had been in the Indian Ocean for about two weeks. - And they plucked him off and put him in a dinner party. - I couldn't watch that movie. I already sat through that Tom Hanks talking to a damn basketball. - Thomas lost was amazing. Oh my God, such an anxiety-inducing movie. I loved it. - Thomas would be like, telling off the sharks. - He'd be like, "You classless whore." (laughing) - What are you doing so many of his waters except other than being beautiful, you whore. - So Thomas starts with one of his famous speeches. I love how people talk on this show. They're like, "Thomas and his famous speeches really is like the bridge speech written down in some museum. I don't remember any of Thomas's famous speeches except like, "Well, I lost again and this was fun." Bye. (laughing) - That'll speak too long to sleep with me. - But his speech telling everyone off, it looks like he's gonna be nice. He's like, "Thank you everyone for coming to my home." I'm, Cameron looks like, "Oh God." - I got a little judgmental face, which I've missed so much. - I know. Her judgmental face is like the best judgmental face there is. - It's so good. 'Cause you always have it on your own face and what she's looking at. - I mean, she speaks the truth almost always. - Yes, and she is a snotty bitch, but who cares? - She's never been wrong. - I mean, I snotty bitch. - She is never, I'm sorry. - Oh no. - I was gonna say that she's never been wrong, not even when she was on "Real World San Diego." (laughing) Okay, I mean, so he starts giving this speech and he's like, "Thank you for coming to my new mansion, "attentation, and visiting our young family." I'm like, "What? "You're, shut up, Thomas, your young family. "You haven't even married to that girl yet." - I know. - And then he starts telling everyone out. He goes, "To ship. "Stop trying to fuck every girl in Charleston." Yeah, I'm like, "Look at Cameron. "That's who you want." Cameron's like, "Oh, no, no, no, but you squinty-eye." - She doesn't talk like that, but her eyes talk like that. - Yeah, it's like-- (laughing) - I thought you'd write with "Landing." "Landing" was the squinty eyes. - Oh, "Landing," that's who I mean. - 'Cause yeah, he's like, "Landing y'all to see." She's like, "What, what, what, I don't understand." "What, Thomas, Thomas!" By the way, did you notice in that scene that Craig's girlfriend was sitting next to Shep? Not Craig. Or was that me? Was that crazy? - Craig's girlfriend was sitting next to Shep and not Craig. - I mean, I'm gonna look at it again while you-- - I didn't even know who that girl was, so I don't think I paid attention to it. - Naomi. - I'm gonna look again, 'cause I could have sworn that-- - I was just writing a diet tribe against Shep's beard, which is so weird, 'cause I only shave once a week, but you know, I love being a hypocrite. But still, I'm not rich. It bugs me. So he tells, then he moves on to Cameron and says, "Cameron, you'll just like my sisters. "Judge mental, self-righteous, and sanctimonious." (laughing) The only thing Cameron says is, "Why do you think I'm sanctimonious?" (laughing) - Yes, I'm judgmental and self-righteous, but dare you, sanctimonious. I didn't get that either. Cameron's never sanctimonious. She's just purely judgmental. - But I love that she's so admitting of her. She's not like, "I won't even argue that one." But, yeah, I'm on, dude. And then, "Squinty, you have been caring "and disrespectful towards Catherine, the mother of my child. "I'd love you to be friends." And she's like, "I've trained to be friends with her. "She'd been telling me to fuck off me." - And she's like, "She's the one who started it." "I'm like my car, every time I dress up my car, it's like..." (laughing) - So everybody gets up and starts leaving, which is basically like throwing a baby across the room on New Jersey. - Yeah. - I'll leave him. - Yeah, whoa. - Way to go, action. So they all start leaving and he's like, "Get out of here, you disrespectful, sanctimonious bitch." And then he starts calling the women bitches and stuff. Oh my God. And the lantern starts, "Beep, beep, beep, beep, beep." And Catherine goes, "Stop yelling. "You sound like a fucking dolphin." (laughing) - You're all Catherine. - And Thomas is standing behind the gate with his face like he's looking through a jail cell. - Yeah. - Yelling at everybody, "Yes, stupid bitch." - That's so good. - I know, clearly he's getting ready for another shine in the black eye. And meanwhile also Cooper was there, you know. The whole gang was there, it was a total disaster. And I'm looking at the opening right now. Again, it's on mute. And Naomi, Craig's girlfriend, is sitting with Shep. And I kind of think that when Shep goes up to leave, that she leaves with Shep, which may be a problem. - Oh. - I'm keeping an eye on it right now. Keep me eye, make sure. Because that could lead into something. That could be Shady on Shep's part if he steals Naomi. Because that would also explain why Thomas would say to Shep, stop sleeping with every girl in town. If he sleeps with not Naomi. I'm putting it out there. - Ooh. Well, that's a good prediction. I didn't even notice any of that. - Yeah. - Okay, we have to remember you said that later, when you're right. - Yeah, we're gonna remember. It's a theory that Shep steals Naomi, but we'll see. We'll see. - Well, I mean, Craig, God bless Craig. He's very cute and stuff. He talks like this all the time. I'm a changed man coming back from Delaware. Now here I am back in Charleston. Right in time to film things. - Oh my God. - Yeah, exactly. - Please talk faster and all right. - Yeah. - By the way, no evidence that Naomi left with Shep. So who knows? Yeah, Craig is like, yeah, I'm going to go back to Charleston. Cause that's where I just really, really, really want to live in Charleston. It's like, also you want to be on a TV show. Just like Whitney, who lives action, Belair. This time he finally fessed up. He doesn't even live in Charleston. He just comes back to do a TV show. - I've proven that I'm strong enough to be back in Charleston. - What kind of strength do you need to live in Charleston? - Darling, you held up a whiskey cup all last year. That's all you did. - Yeah, exactly. - Where's, what's your next job? Is it going to be like designing your own line of oversized colored men's shirts? - He would never put that much work in. - Although I do love that he wears them. And I like his multi-tonal dressing this year. He's like, I'm going to wear five shades of pink. - Yeah. - And five shades of patterns too. - I like personalities. - I love your new personality. Please, speak through the clothes. - You know, this is hashtag New Craig, but should we really be, is he really New Craig? Like, is it any surprise that, oh yeah, there happens to be this girl Naomi who is totally loaded that he has just so happened, so flashed onto it. Come on, that's not New Craig. That's classic craze. - Well, it's at least new enough that he is keeping a girlfriend that's rich. I mean, look, when you go find a rich girlfriend to take care of you, that's actually making an effort in life. So I have to at least give him some points for that. Because, you know, you go boy. Why should only women get to do that on Bravo? - It makes me feel bad for Cooper because he has no one that he can marry up into. - He wouldn't anyway. He's like, why would I marry you? I can't take you to my own ball. (laughing) - That's true. - So anyway. - I'm just moving my leg, darling. - Oh, get that leg moving. - Oh, southern charm crap. - Okay, so yeah, Craig's boring. So, Craig's still boring. Hashtag New, still boring, Craig. - Yeah. (laughing) - Fishing, Cameron and Shepbo, he in the water, talk about Craig, okay, talking. - You know that Shep is still just mad because Craig got more bids last season at the end of last season. - Kelsey Ballerini. - Yes, that country star paid higher to be with him. And then Shep, I think Shep, they gave him like $20 or something to be with him in that man option last year. And he is still so mad, hilarious. - God, I can't believe Kelsey Ballerini would go with Craig. Gosh. - He even did a Vanderpump rule thing in this one where he told Craig, you know, you keep thinking like you're the guy in this town. Like, you're the best, most popular guy in this town. It's not true. - Yeah, it's not, it's just in your head. God, you're so stupid, you're stupid, head. - It's like a Jax without a gym membership. - Yeah, it's like a wealthy, like a wealthy, smart Jax. (laughing) Basically. - Let's see, Southwest Airlines. I was like figures, Craig. By the way, I take Southwest all the time. But I'm like, you know, he woke up late. He forgot to print out his boarding pass. Now he's in group C. - Yeah. Yeah, I'm just so curious as to what Craig is gonna do in Charleston now. Now that he actually, it seems like he's abandoning law, is, I mean, is he still like holding onto the dream of being a model because that's, you know, as many doors as Cooper's fashion show certainly open for him, I still think he has a little bit more work to do. - The red velvet suit industry was knocking at that door. (laughing) They can only knock so long before they move on to another red velvet suit fashion show. - Now that he has conquered bellhop fashion, it's time for him to, I mean, onwards and upwards. - Oh, see, Catherine's parents. - Oh, that's the only thing. - Oh, oh, oh, the thing is, Catherine. - So he meets this girl. He's met this girl, Ashley, okay. So we've kind of talked about this already. And he say, they walk into the house because her loaded ass parents have this gorgeous house that they're just letting them live in. - Well, her name's Ash Sheth, how's Naomi? - I, you're right, it is Naomi. I wrote down Ashley at first, I don't even know why. Later, I was like, remember that this is, but of course that note's too late to read it now. - And remember, her name is actually Naomi. - Yeah, it is Naomi, sorry. But this chick, you know, pretty in stuff, seems nice. - Yeah, very pretty, yeah. - She hates you all light enough to not have a personality. - Yeah. - Very good, very, something good. - Jesus. - But you can tell she hates Sheth, by the way, 'cause when they're talking about putting together a party, I'm sorry, I just totally interrupted you. - No, no, go ahead. - But you can tell. - From the same scene. - But you can tell, he's like, yeah, I'm gonna have a party to be like, I'm back. And she's like, so you're gonna invite Sheth, which was a very loaded way of like, you're not gonna invite Sheth, right? - Yeah, 'cause you know the whole time, he's like, Sheth ruined my life. He was so mean to me. He lectured me all the time. And then he's basically the little robot from that TV show. - Small Wonder, if you will. - Yeah, that thicky thing. - He's like, except he's like, not a wonder. He's like, small. - Small. - He's a small, small thing. She's a small thing. He's okay in every way. - He doesn't even care enough to be nosy in his life. - Harry, it's like not. He's like, ah, she's like, I don't feel like I'm gonna be the window today. (laughing) - Like, who's the lady next door? She never even comes outside and like, no one knows. Like, ruins the show. (laughing) - She moves just more interesting people. - So this girl, they get to stay in this beautiful mansion and she's like, look, it's like we're adults. You are not adults. You're staying in your parent's house. Jesus, you know, part of me doesn't want to rip shame people 'cause that's not fair. I mean, it's not their fault they're rich. The other part of me is like, seriously burn the house down. I want the house to burn to the ground. - How dare they? This is not fair. - I know, it's totally, I'm like, totally. - I was gonna say another line, but I think it's later in the episode. So next up is Catherine. - Speaking of your parents, living at your parent's house, Catherine. - She starts like, she starts every season, like she's out of some 18th century, or 19th century novel, right? Like, alone on the plantation, waiting for the man to come and help her move on to a different home in the city. Like every time she's like, "Erm, erm, Thomas." She's like, "Erm, oh, it doesn't care about me anymore." So, "Erm, whatever." - Thomas promised me the wind. I mean, he promised me the moon. He promised me a mall. He promised me a Bentley. He promised me a new home and a good part of Tampa. And here I am. I took 30 home pregnancy tests and it's official. And guess what? Thomas didn't pay for one of them. - Thomas. - It's like woman, when are you going to stop listening to his promises? He's a politician for crying out loud. - Well, he knows how to keep a crazy woman because he's just gonna keep, that's basically his rental oven that he keeps on some plantation outside of town so he never has to see her. And the only time he comes by is to put some more sperm inside of her so we can have kids, you know, while he can still fuck around. The guy is a sleaze bag, but he seems to know what he's doing. I mean, he does. - He does. - She just has to tamper her expectations. She has to like hold them to like small promises, like painting the nursery pink. Oh, wait. We'll get to that. - Oh, Periwinkle. - You promised pink Thomas for Kinsey. - Only on this show would there be Periwinkle drama. - I don't think Periwinkle has been uttered this many times ever on a TV show. - I wrote Periwinkle Gate. I wrote that in caps with an exclamation point. (laughing) And the funny thing is that the first time-- - I was like, wait. A cube rating for Periwinkle's gone up. (laughing) What the hell is happening? Change the colors. - Meanwhile, we'll get to the first instance of Periwinkle in a moment, but I wrote it down the first time. We don't even have to go. I mean, we don't even have to leave because Catherine is so fucking interesting to me. - I don't even care. She talks like she's always on marijuana. I mean, her and Craig, can you imagine dinner if those two ever got married? Jesus Christ, Battle of the Bulls, darling. It's kind of an amazing cast because you have a group of people who are sort of on the sidelines and they just are watching it all and they're being shady and making snarky jokes to each other and to us. And they sort of are like us. And sometimes they interact with the story, but they don't really interact that much. And then you have a bunch of crazies right in the middle. You've got Thomas and Catherine and you've got Craig's not crazy, but he's like a problem. And you have these people. And so it's like this oil and water situation with this cast where you have the crazies in the middle and the other people they're observing and it's kind of genius. - It really is. I just love it. This whole scene with Catherine, she's explaining how she could possibly, well, first she has a window unit. She's like, that is so ghetto. That's funny. A while mine was a warren. I was like, I fuck off. And she explains why she got pregnant again, she goes. - Well, we were broken up, but we had a brief world with romance. And four days later, God wanted me to have a baby. Another baby must mean something, but it didn't. - Stupid. And then she's telling Thomas off, but on Siri, she's like texting him and using Siri to tell him off. And she's like, listen here, Thomas. (laughing) - Comma. - Comma. - I do not care what you do with your own life. Comma. (laughing) Broken heart emoji. Just leave me alone. Period. (laughing) I love damn it. That was my own God damn it. (laughing) God damn it, it wrote down Comma. Instead of him writing a comma, Jesus. The status of me and Thomas right now is nothing. It's like, well, she's not gonna be a mathematician. (laughing) - That doesn't even make sense, lady. - I just don't understand why there's no contraception involved in any of these tomfoolery, like the pill, condom. Is it really that hard, people? Is it really that hard? Apparently it was that hard. - Well, he's too hard. I think that he just wants more babies now, so that's his reason. And she wants more babies to troll his ass. - Exactly. - Who are you teaching? - Impulsive and reckless. In factless. - Yeah, you've taught, you've learned nothing young lady. Please never do, because I love you. Just how you are. - Yeah, I do. - Next up is the grand dog. - Oh yes, which of course means footage of her reaching for her little perfume jar, whatever you call those perfume things. And she's up in her lair, and with Nick with fur collar, and fur everything. - And I thought, where is her martini? It did seem weird, because it was like 10 o'clock in the morning, which, you know, martini breakfast. I was like, why is there no martini? Is this bitch sober? 'Cause I will quit watching this show immediately. - Yeah, and then she's like, then Whitney comes over and they mean she's like, did you notice anything strange about the here? Isn't it feel weird? Yeah, no, so you had to open the door yourself, don't have a martini. And I thought she'd be like, I thought she was gonna say I had to fire him, I had to downsize. I was like, no, I don't want Patricia to become unwealthy. But then she's like, he went on vacation. I was like, oh, for you. I was like, thank God. She needs to stay rich, I'm sorry. - Yeah, she really, that's someone who, I do not need to see them poor. Some rich people I wanna see them poor, I do not wanna see her poor. She's a nightmare enough in her own house. You imagine if she was unleashed on the world, stay home, I do not need to be behind your ass at Target. - Yeah, she's like, when Michael's gone, I was a lot of drinking of wine and whiskey, 'cause I do not like to drink inferior martinis. - I had no interest in an inferior martini. - So good, did you notice I had to get my own shoes? Did you notice I had to yell at the black people all by myself? - Oh, this woman, she goes, what was she saying? - How's the restaurant? And he's like, oh, it's going great, mom. She's like, hmm, that's what she does for a man. - She sips her wine, yeah. She sips her wine because it was amazing. That has to be a gift, like someone has to make that a gift. - Oh, I wanna make gifts of everything. I wish they had a full shot of her saying that, there was some line that was so good and they didn't have a full shot of her saying it. I hope it was not martini line, 'cause I need to be sending that to everybody else. - It was amazing. Well, Whitney, first of all, his wig is looking great. I think this is the best, because every look, it's not as floppy. - Whitney has gotten it together in the wig store and the filler store and the face store. - He looked great. He looked great, like the first time ever, Whitney's hair looked proper. He got rid of the Kate Goslin man to pay. He has like a proper wig. He had a little tan going on. And you know, he still has like usual asshole self. He's like, he's like, yeah, the restaurant's a mill and a half over budget, but I'm very lazy for about it, 'cause you know, I just don't care. - Yeah, I just bought a mansion in LA and not Beverly Hills, but where was he? Oh, Bel- - Bel-Air. He's like, this way he can stock up on some more body shop t-shirts, you know? Crazy girl. - Poor guy. I like his surgery because he's always trying to pretend he's a teenager, which is so sad. I mean, we live in a town of that, so we see it all the time. And of course, it's fitting that he's here. But we see it all the time, like this Peter Pan syndrome, where they're trying to look like little boys and it has looked creepy. But now he's still acting like that, but he actually looks his age-ish. - Yeah, he changed the thing. - But in a good way. - Yeah, he changed his style just enough. That's like, okay, see now there you go with me. You did it. You got into your lane and now you look good. - Well, he probably started getting nipped and tucked in LA. I mean, if we know how to do anything, you don't want to get nipped and tucked in Charleston if you can do it here. - But his big practice. - His still his problem is that he still wants to be all like hipster and like rock and roll and playing my guitar. And yet he's still a full on stuffy, southern, conservative man, you know? - No, he's like through level one of rock Smith. - So, so yeah, so they're just being, you know, I love Whitney and his mom because they just are like two caddy memes. - They're so good. - She is so good and he's such a little bitch. Like he's his mom's little bitch. - I know, but they have gossip sessions 'cause you know, it's like what we want to do. It's like, 'cause you know, they're so shady. They just sit there, they be shady. You know, they act shady. And I love, is this one Patricia starts talking about Catherine's pregnancy 'cause she has the best quote here. - She does. - She goes, I'm not going to get into Catherine's pregnancy. I mean, they're both morons. What else can I say? - And then talks like for 10 minutes about it. - Yeah. - She's uneducated, she's unintelligent. She has no future. She has two babies. I mean, what can they expect? - I have nothing, I have no interest in anything to do with Catherine Dennis, but she has a moor that obsession with me and Whitney. And when something happens like that, the guillotine comes down and that's it. The guillotine comes down and that's it. Damn lady, you're going to be hit her. - She's right though. And you know, I think actually everything that, Patricia says about Catherine and Thomas has always been 100% true. - I know, it's just, it's such so hypocritical. And as Catherine points out, 'cause this scene is intercut with Cooper going to visit Catherine. - Oh yeah. - Just in case I have a ball in my second woman date fall through, he goes to see Catherine who-- - We gingers have to stay together. - It's a weird friendship because he's Mike Besties with Patricia. And so she's like, I thought he was here to be a little soldier for Patricia, but, you know, he has my back. - Like someone shit, it must hurt by now, girl. (laughing) You're either on it or carrying something with it. - Yeah, Cooper, well, I think Cooper realized it's like, hmm, it turns out that last year I tried to be everyone's sidekick and no one wants me. So, okay, I'll just be Catherine sidekick and this will get me on the show more. - Yes, exactly. He's got sick of doing the windows at Patricia's house. She, when they're walking over to have their little discussion, she's like, yeah, this plantation, whatever. I mean, it's so big. I mean, there's literally a slave cemetery right over there. Oh, let's go sit on those slaves and have some tea. It's like, this is the most tacky thing I've ever seen. Please tell me they're not sitting on the slave cemetery. (laughing) - Was that what you said? I reminded a few times, but she mumbles so much. I all heard her say this and that used to be a slave. I was like, I don't know what it was, but I didn't know how slaves-- - Yeah, she didn't say let's go have a drink on the slaves, but that's what she did. She's like, look here, the slave cemetery. - Oh my God, 'cause that we sit on a blanket. - I knew whatever it was. It couldn't have been good. Could start with slave and ended with a mumble. And I was like, whatever it was, she's treating it like Disneyland. And I'm like, and here's the slaves. - I love that we got to see-- - Slave Ray. - I love that we got to see Catherine getting wacky with her imitations. - Yeah, I get that she doesn't like me. I mean, that's fine, but why does she have to be like, (mumbling) "When you get downtown, don't look at me." (laughing) - Is she doing Mr. Belvedere? What is she doing? - I don't know, even Cooper's like, I like how you made her British. She's like, I know. (laughing) - But I mean, I do that shit all the time too. All I feel like I'm personating someone. They like suddenly have some strange Danish accent. It's like, where did that come from? They're from Milwaukee. - Her impersonations are as bad enough to be on this show. - I know, she could basically be our third coast now. - Her version of Vanderpump Rules will be like, ♪ I will not eat the birds ♪ ♪ He is that ♪ (laughing) ♪ Sir Slaw ♪ ♪ Sir Slaw ♪ ♪ Goodbye, you vibs ♪ (laughing) - ♪ Star sick, come back ♪ - But she totally called it out correctly when she said, Whitney is a loser. - Yes, he is. - He is spread from the failure, his music career is a failure. He's never done one damn thing. He just got a wig that fit last week. His girlfriend's fake, no one ever sees her. So what the fuck is she judging? And you know, she's right. - But a mother will always be fine with her son. - This is a mother and her son. - And I like when Patricia's back at home and she's like, "Well, as much as I love little grandbabies, "I'm glad it's not you." - 'Cause it very well could have been. - Yeah, it could have been. It definitely could have been. - Patricia deserves that. - I mean, that woman's gotta have terrible, she's got to have terrible karma and not only the bastard children, but bastard, bastard Dennis children? (laughing) Or she would have Michael's drown those things in the sink a second, he got back from vacation? - Well, let's be honest. If there was a good baby, she would fully swoop in, push Catherine out. Like she would somehow take control of the baby entirely and she would just raise it herself. - Michael, please bring me my shoes. Now Michael, stand at the door. Michael, when Catherine Dennis comes in, hit her on the head with those shoes. (laughing) Here's a net I found. Put her in it. (laughing) I met. (laughing) - Okay, just wrap her up on my caff tan. (laughing) - She's like caught up in a tree. - Let me down. (laughing) ♪ It's easy for me ♪ - I'm a catch. (laughing) - Room two, Catherine and the child. I don't need Patricia's mansion. (laughing) (laughing) - So Thomas, of course, is not going to do anything for the rental oven, his Catherine Dennis. Instead, he's putting in a new oven in his brand-new home in the center of town. - Thomas has an insane black eye. Like, it's not just a black eye. It is, it's not just a china. It is a full on, like, baby eggplant sitting right there on his eyeball. It is insane. And so he has a new house, and Landon has come over to look at the new house because Landon lives in the same neighborhood and she says very suggestively, Thomas and I have been hanging out with a smile and a wink, which made me feel a little uncomfortable. - I mean, Landon. - Landon? - Oh. - Come on now, Landon. Didn't you learn anything from your first husband? - Well, at least that one just ignored her. - Yeah. - Well, I guess that's kind of what Thomas does too, but Thomas is, Thomas is vitriolic. That guy will scream. I think it's cute. It started out with him calling everybody bitches. - Do you think that Landon actually hooked up with Thomas? I feel like she's smarter than that. - Have you ever found the house of your dreams only to learn it has dark secrets? - Netflix's new series, "No Good Deed" follows three families vying to buy a 1920s Spanish style villa that they think will solve their problems. - But as the sellers discover sometimes the home of your dreams can be a total nightmare. - "No Good Deed" starring Lisa Kudrow and Ray Romano launches December 12th only on Netflix. - Audible's best of 2024 picks are here. - From memoirs and sci-fi to mysteries and thrillers, Audible's curated list in every category is the best way to be here at 2024's best in audio entertainment. - Like a stunning new full cast production of George Orwell's 1984. - And first of all, Everett's brilliantly subversive James. - Audible, there's more to imagine when you listen. - I actually am really excited to hear George Orwell's 1984 again, because last time I read that was back in, I don't know, middle school or something like that. And the world has changed so much with technology and everything like that. I feel like now is the perfect time to revisit and listen to it on Audible. - Especially when it's told by a full cast like that. Like it's a full production. It's gonna be like a radio play, you know? - That's major. - Go to Audible.com/crapins and discover all the years best waiting for you. That's Audible.com/crapins. - Darling, that's your first mistake. - Maybe you went on Bravo smart, smarter than that. - That's how we always get in these traps. Like they trick us every fucking time. They're like so nice, she's in season two. So here we go. You know what happens in season two. - I know, bitch flower. - You find it all out. - You find the real them. - She spent too much time in her house. She's getting her sea legs and they walked her over there. - I love that though. I love some good old fashioned hypocrisy. I would love if she's been judging Catherine this whole time for putting up with him and then she's boning him. - So good. And it's also such a stab at her, you know? Like Catherine. - I love a Southern smile while I'm fucking your husband. - Yeah. Well, I mean, if there's a love triangle, I'd be very thrilled. I mean, they're pretty much setting it all up already. So it's going down that way. So Thomas, Thomas, by the way, he got his black eye from, he said he was at a club and some guy came up to him and started like sort of talking shit and Thomas told the bodyguard to get rid of him and then the guy went and hit by the Thomas in the eye. - Does that happen? Does that happen in Charleston? - How rude. - They're both moms. - Wait, Patricia, he is about this. - I had, but I'll tell you who's the butt head is that Thomas? - He actually just called him a butt head and then Thomas like ran into a door. - Yeah. - There's a hit butt. Huge two story baby room. Jesus Christ, he is building mansions for these children. They each get little mansions while Catherine is sitting in front of a window unit. - You know, I don't love that, obviously, 'cause I like Catherine, but I think I love that it's on TV because let that be a lesson to people. Do not, if you're going to use a baby to make a relationship better, it does not work, okay? He does not spend that money on you and he never will. It will always be on the children. - Yeah, exactly. - Little sex ed classroom. - Thomas rather now. - What I love though is as he showed Kinsie's nursery and he announced, little did I realize that this would actually become a major plot point. He's like, we're going to paint this all periwinkle. I was like, for some reason, the idea of like Thomas like boasting about the future periwinkle state of a room just really cracked me up. - And then begins the periwinkle trams. - Periwinkle is said, I think 30 times. - Yeah. - That's what, when I took that note, I thought it seemed like such a throwaway. I was like, oh, I wonder if anyone else noticed that he mentioned periwinkle and like how funny it is that Thomas Ravenel is talking about the color periwinkle. I was like, ha ha ha. Surely I'm the only one who saw that. Little did I realize periwinkle gate was on the horizon. - Periwinkle gate, yeah. Thomas Ravenel thinks periwinkle is like a mystery show rerun on TV late at night. (laughing) Periwinkle. I do want my child to be in a periwinkle room. He'll sure know how to walk you. (imitating periwinkle) Sorry, that was like my brief and aborted attempt to do the periwmason theme song. - Do not say a bordade when Catherine is pregnant for the second time. They do not like that on this show. (laughing) - Periwinkle. - Her least favorite color now. - Come back. - Come back. - Come back. - Come back pink color options. - So then Craig's party, his I'm Back party, is gearing up, right? - Yes. - And so they're getting ready at the house. He wanted to make fresh spinach and artichoke dip and then he bought it, which is already a reason why she's on my shit list. (laughing) Just kidding. (laughing) But then what I loved was that beforehand that Shep Cameron and Whitney got together to drink wine. And all I did was talk shit about Craig. Like they're about to go to Christ party and they're just like, they're like, "Probably just having this party "to show if it is a house. "Gosh." - Okay, there's one of you in this conversation who has a job. - Okay. - Yeah. - Are we supposed to believe that Squinty has a job? I'm not buying it, lady. - Yeah. - Well, no, we're late to talk. - Yes, shoot. What is her job? Oh, she's an interior designer. - She's an interior designer. - An interior designer. - I remember her pop-up shop. - That's right. - I get things and then I put them out and then sometimes people buy them and then I put them back into U-Haul. (laughing) - She's pushing her periwinkle agenda. That's what she's doing. But I just love how shady these people are. I mean, they're so shady. - They are and they're really going for the gold this year. I think everybody was told just be more of a dick. - Okay, well, we're in. - They are, 'cause they are totally being, they're being worse this year. 'Cause I think they just don't care now. Now they're like, "Okay, we're on TV." - Yeah, people are gonna hate us even if we're nice. - Yeah, exactly. - So it's beatings. - They're intercutting this back with Catherine. I love that Catherine's in this show so much more now, by the way, but they're intercutting a lot with her and she's telling us that she's heard that Thomas and, or she's telling somebody that weird friend that no one ever knows her name. - What's her name? - Yeah. Actually, I wanna make a comment, but I think her name is Jennifer. - I don't remember her. I never remember her name. God bless her heart. - One thing I love about this show is it's actually very much like the Simpsons or maybe 30 Rock, whatever, in that there's like this ever growing cast of characters and they don't cycle through. It's not like, you know, a friend of the housewives one season that you never see them again. It's like this ensemble beyond the main cast, it just grows and grows and grows. Vanderpump Rules has a two, but I feel like it's even stronger. It's just all of these little characters that collect season after season and then there's sort of like this, you feel like there's like a world. That's what I love about the show. It's a world. - The first season friend, the married guy, even came on with his wife this season. - She's been around before. And then so this girl Jennifer, I think her name is Jennifer. She was last season when it was like that she and Thomas used to be friends or something. - Oh yeah, she used to bone Thomas. Yeah, Catherine's always hating somebody who's boning Thomas because everybody is boning Thomas at some point in the stand. So it's intercutting with her talking to this Jennifer chick and she's telling her about Landon, the rumors that Landon is sleeping with Thomas. - I mean, I just got pregnant. I thought the five second rule was only for food. (laughing) - It is for food, right? 'Cause I just ate that tortilla chip off the floor. - Tommy, yes. - When I first squatty-potted that baby out, tell you it dropped right on the floor, but I picked it up and it's still fine. (laughing) - Meanwhile, Landon was shady on her own 'cause her response to the interview was that like, she's like, I don't think that, I don't think that Catherine understands what a platonic relationship is. I mean, I don't know if any guy she hasn't slept with. (laughing) She fucked them all. (laughing) - She Landon, true shade. - True shade. - She's in the story and this shade is all true. - Yeah. And then meanwhile, Craig is like getting ready for his party and he's like, babe. He's like, man, I'm gonna wear this. Look at this, check out this shirt. And like the collar is open, it hasn't been iron properly, so the collar is like, split open. And on top of that, the actual collar itself is like out of proportion, it's huge. And on top of that, the collar has a whole different crazy pattern. It was like, everything was wrong. I hated the entire collar. It was driving me nuts. - I like that Cameron said, he's dressed like an Italian mobster, but at least it doesn't smell like Tito's. (laughing) She's like, that's an improvement. I was like, they are so shady this season. So shady this season. And she says, I'm not rich. I'm, no, she says, I'm not stupid. I mean, look, here's Naomi. She's this rich girl. He comes right in the can. He's with this rich girl. I mean, come up. But you know, she does at least give him credit. - Yeah. - Like my job. - Yeah. I mean, and Craig said that he like, he knew, I guess he sort of knew her a little bit in college and that out of the blue, she texted him. And then he was like, and that's when I got my crush, that's when I was feeling all this love inside. It's like, no, you're like, oh, I always wanted to get with that rich girl so I could get her money. And all of a sudden she realized I was on a TV show so she texted me. And now it's perfect. - Yes. He's like, I'm an adult now. - You are staying in somebody else's house. I'm screwing some girl for her money and still are not even looking for a job fool. - Yeah. - Please don't change. You're still hot. - Keep running. - Keep running. Whitney, blah, blah, blah. This was not that exciting. I'm trying to think what else was exciting in this. I'm looking really, really quick. - Well, of course, I'm right now. - Right now. - Right now. - Oh, no, at the party. So at the party, well, there was a black guy at the party. - Oh, me. - There was? - There was a black guy at the party. - Oh, my God. - No one sound the alarms. - This is a big news in southern charm. (laughs) - Catherine's like, it's a zombie from my backyard. - Oh, God, geez, that is how this show is so bad. - There's like no black people on this show. There was like one black person who appeared last season. - He was someone's date, right? - Yeah, at the founders' ball. - And he was falling. - He was. - In a model, he was in the model, so, when it's right, he was, yeah. - It's probably that guy. They just fly him in for this show. - Yeah. - I think it's like the extra he plays everybody. - Yeah. - And Derinda walks by. - Hi. (laughs) - Keep you bring me some water. (laughs) - He's like, that was my other role. - I forgot when Derinda has the black guy for water. - Drink, whatever. - So, let's say he's amusing to left behind his back. Looks like you're a trash. Everyone ignores Catherine. Okay, the girls, my God. I like that they're like shadier. I don't like that they're just flat out me. And Cameron's like, well, she's pregnant again. And, you know, I just don't know what to say. I mean, am I supposed to say congratulations? Or am I supposed to say, are you okay? I don't know. So where I come from, if you don't know what to say, you just don't say anything. - Yeah, that was bitchy. She was hiding behind like, faux etiquette on that one. - Yes, and she's standing there with Landon and no one will talk to Catherine. Of course, Catherine has proven herself to be crazy, and they probably just all want to stay away from her at this point. But they're basically icing her out and trying not to shoot with her, obviously. And so she has to sit there all alone. And she's like, I'm not going to sit here for this mean girl, shit, no girl. - Yeah, it's so funny with Catherine 'cause she is so crazy. And you're like, you're such a lunatic. You're so ridiculous and so pathetic. And then she has these moments where you just are like so passionately on her side. You're like, oh, no. 'Cause she's crazy, but sometimes you feel like she's been pushed into the crazy corner and she has no choice but to be crazy. But then you think, well, she's been pushed into the crazy corner 'cause she is crazy. It's like, it's hard to tell where the causation is. But you know, when Cameron's like, I didn't know what to say. It's like, Cameron, you just go and say hi. That's all you have to do is say, ha. But like, well, I didn't know if I was just saying, hi, how are you or hi? How are you doing? So I just didn't say hi at all. Like, that's not cool. - Congratulations on getting another load. - I mean, just say something, anything. - Yeah, exactly. But like, or just say, you know what? I think she's crazy. I don't feel like talking to her. So I'm not gonna talk to her. That's fine too. - Yeah, but I mean, they're all about manners from blackness. It's like, yes, she got knocked up. Who cares? Go say hi to her. You can't catch it. And it's good you'd all have it 'cause you've all fucked Thomas. - But to be fair also, Catherine is the type of girl who would show up at a party and stand in the corner until someone says hi to her. You know, she's not like, she won't go be like, oh, hey, how's it going? She'll be like, she'll walk and intentionally sort of stay to the side. And then when no one says hi to her, then she'll be mad like no one said hi to her, you know? So it's a little bit too, it takes two to tango. - Yes, and Catherine has been horrible. Like there's been times where she's just horrible. And also she says things like, - It was a whirlwind romance. And I guess God wanted me to get knocked up. - That's a girl. You just don't want calling you every day 'cause you know, it's always fucking something. She always crying about something. - Comma. - Comma. - Buhu. - Comma. - Buhu. - Comma. - Buhu. - Period. - I squirt tear emoji. I squirt tear emoji. - Oh, shoot, I did the laughing tears. Oh, shoot. - Comma. - I like JD's wife saying, well, I have tried to be friends with her. I have kept calling her and calling her and then there was just never a spot. And I think she has blocked me from her phone. (laughing) - So good. I love her drawing. - Oh, it's your blessing, darling. (laughing) - So Craig and Shep have their talk. - And Shep, who's been on Craig for over a year now about being an alcoholic and quitting drinking. The best in that. It's like, "Hey, I got you a scotch." - Yeah. - It's like nice. - But sip it, be sophisticated. Don't do it with a shock, Craig. You're not rich, you can't get drunk. - Mr. Shep-Yagi. - When you're rich, it's buzzed. When you're poor, you're an alcoholic. - You understand? (laughing) - You know, I mean, Craig just wants to go back to being like, "Shep and Craig, like best friends." Poor Craig never seems to realize that he was never, he may have like hung out with Shep a lot and they may have been buddies, but he was never going to be in a circle with Craig because Shep, because Shep is from a different social class. And that's just the way it is. - Well, Shep, I think, saw this young, hot guy and thought this guy is gonna be a pussy magnet. And so we started going out and sure, maybe he got some hotter girls, but then he realized money is more powerful than good looks. And I have more money. And he's getting so much pussy that is making me mad. And then when he got outbid, he is so mad at that. He's not gonna do, he's not gonna be normal until he wins a woman over Craig. - That's true. And I think that's where your prediction comes in. I can't wait to see if it's true. - I know, if that's what happens, that would be amazing. 'Cause it seems very strange and it was, though the seating order, Shep, Naomi, Landon, and then Craig. And that just seems very strange, I think. - Especially in that town, I think anywhere else it wouldn't, it would be like, "Huh, what?" Maybe they wanna look across the table at each other or something, but this, in this town, it means a lot. Like, where are you sitting and what you're wearing and who you talk to on the way over here. - Yeah. - Who your parents owned? - So, now I'm missing Catherine. This is the good climax of this finale. - Big, big, periwinkle fiasco. - He comes over and he is trying to talk to her. And of course, she is still mortified that she has to use a window unit. So she's just being a total bitch. And he's like, "Well, how you doing there, Catherine? "Great to see you, darling. "You look great." I think I'm gonna paint the baby room periwinkle. You wanna see it? And he pulls out the periwinkle and she immediately looks over to Landon. Gives Landon a death stare and Landon's everything going, "Hey, hey, hey." Talking to somebody about a periwinkle dress. - Yes, and that was a good call on her part, 'cause I didn't even notice that. She's like, "Wait a second, now he's saying periwinkle." And she's wearing periwinkle. "Is this to get me? "What are they doing? "Is this a fucking joke?" - You could see the coffee mug falling in slow motion to shatter on the floor, usual suspect style. She's like, "Wait a second, Landon's limp goes away." - Periwinkle! - Periwinkle is cancer so say. Well, the funny thing was even before the periwinkle gate, like, Tom's like, "How are things?" She's like, "Oh, well, you know, "I got the baby and the baby with this and that, "and I got my goddaughter." And then Tom was like, "Yeah, "I gotta figure out my HVAC situation "and thinking about different tiles to put in. "It's really just the worst. "I'm really going through it myself." - Well, that's great for you, Tom. It's, I'm still living on some plantation outside of town. He's like, "Listen here. "What's a place called what cove?" It's like, "Listen here, poor cove oven. "I can't be driving out there. "Every time I need to deposit some sperm, "I've gotta do oven in the center of town." - She's so pissed. - Yeah, so anyway, once you, to get back to what you were saying, though, like once she puts two and two together and she realizes periwinkle, land in, then she starts to see red, and then she's like, she's like, "Okay, get to it. "Get to it. "What's the point, Thomas? "What's the point?" You said you're gonna keep it pink. Why'd you change it from pink? Who helped you? Who helped you, Thomas? - Well, Periwinkle helped me. He's a very good lawyer on television. Called for his advice. He loves bridges, so respects my father. Periwinkle fight, she tries to talk about the baby and he's like, "Periwinkle." She's like, "God damn it, Thomas. "You haven't talked to me in months and I'm pregnant. "Now you want to talk about Periwinkle over and over again?" He's like, "Sorry, welcome out, least touch the baby." And she's like, "Okay." And so they just sit there with him rubbing her stomach. I'm like, "They aren't gonna fuck that baby "in the head right now behind a tree." It was one of the most disturbing tummy touches I've seen. It was just like, his weird, cold hand on this. And she looked like she didn't want to be touched. It was like this weird hand violation. - But she's so easy. She gets mad and then he's nice and rubs her tummy, fucks her, buys her some jewelry, and then sends her back to the plantation. - Yeah, so look at the dead slaves now. - Yep. - And she keeps acting like, "It's all this new drama. "It's the same shit, girl." Just like one of your girlfriends, I'm about to hang up on you girl. - Yeah. So good. - So good. - So good. So entertaining. Really great season premiere. - Oh, Southern Jon, I'm so glad you're back. And that was a good show to start with to talk slowly. (laughing) - 'Cause so many of them do. - Yeah, yeah. What you wanna talk about now, Benjamin? It's up to you in my little tiger. - All right. (humming) I don't care. Atlanta or Potomac. Well, you know what though? Before we even do that, you know what I think we should really do? - What? - I think we should. - How lucky are you to have me teach you about me? - Beautiful. - Hey, the flab. - We forgot to do it all last week. - I know what the hell I'm bringing her in to Epsy Start. - Okay. - So, I am. - Oh, for those of you who don't know what this is, this is a segment where we make fun of Caroline Fleming's stupid Instagram account because it is just rich. - How lucky are you? - I know. I'm looking at her ridiculous Instagram right now. She has a lot of, a lot of. - There's a lot here today. - I know. She's probably a lot. - There is a lot going on here. - Okay. - I kinda wanna look at that vegetables that she put through that, you know, safer things. - Yeah. - What do you call that? - She's got like two pictures of it. - I have one. - Okay. - It makes ridges on the carrots. - What are those called? - A ridge to mandolin, let's say. - Yeah, mandolin, yeah. So, there's one of her, so she's been in Thailand recently. And there's one of her on like this little truck. And her kid is in the little truck. It's like a weird, it's hard to describe. It's this, like something larger than a golf cart, but it's not a real truck, but she's sitting in it. And she's just looking at me. - Looking to her bus type thing. - She's looking lovely. - She's smiling at the camera. And the caption is life in Thailand. Happy hashtag April Fools and lots of love, X, X. Like what about this is April Fools? (laughing) - You're sitting in the truck. - Where is the prank? (laughing) - It's like this was supposed to be an original sized van, but it is a little van. - Hashtag tiny van tour. Hashtag red. Hashtag April. Hashtag four. - So the one on, is there more there? - No, no, you do. - Yeah, you do yours. - The one I like is just her first one. I mean, it's the easiest, but also I start staring at her page. So I'm like, how did she reach those carrots? That's all I can think about now. The first one is a Tawny pony, little mini pony. And she's there in a bikini with her fucking rock and body. My God woman. - She is, I mean, yeah. - And her adorable child. Hashtag sand. - Hashtag adorable. (laughing) - Last little ride on the beach this time around. Dash, no, period. Dash, thank you. Hashtag lucky for being such a gorgeous hashtag pony. Dash, Nico, has cherished every minute. X, space, X, space, X. Space. (laughing) - I have to do one more 'cause since we missed last week. - Okay. - This is from Easter. It's a picture of various Easter eggs. And she goes, happy Easter, time to hide the eggs. This is the most lovely hashtag tradition at Stephanie Almeira. The eggs are hidden and each color has a reward attached. The search is for everyone in the family extended to all in the household. I cannot tell you the excitement in this house. The children are about to pop. Hashtag, Bangkok. Hashtag, Thailand. Hashtag Easter. Hashtag 2016. Hashtag, I popped my children. (laughing) - Hashtag police. - Hashtag helped. - I just like the way she describes Easter eggs. In case you haven't heard, there's a wonderful tradition that we've invented, the Flaminghouse Old. - You hide eggs and there's rewards. (laughing) - I tried to do that. - I tried to do that. - How lucky are you to have me teach you the parties' eggs? - I'm sorry 'cause we said one more but I couldn't stop clicking. So there's one and also it's worrying me that she hasn't tried to sell anything yet because normally every Insta is her trying. That bitch will sell a bath towel. She doesn't care. She's like, how lucky am I to find a towel in this hotel room? Hashtag towel, care allowed Flaming official towel. (laughing) - But this one, I figured it was probably her selling something 'cause it's like her gold legs and it's just like from her vagina down to her legs in a bikini. It's an odd shot. She's like, make sure to get the money maker in there. It's probably her one paparazzi standing over with an iPhone, but she's got this tacky pink and blue bag that has, I don't know, I don't know, I can't read it, but some tacky bag. Working hard on that tan comma, tough life dash. So, so lucky, I know and so very grateful. Drinking up a winter's worth of vitamin D and feeling restored and refreshed and grateful for such a glorious week of pure bliss and relaxation and goodness, x, small x, no space. Personalized beach bag, hashtag, Caroline. At coco accessories can be ordered from at-salt official, at-stepany media. The styles, shapes, and sizes are perfect. Whatever your needs may be. And the upcoming summer, x, space, x. - Lady. - Great insight. - Jesus. And I love that she hashtags it, Caroline. - Oh, Caroline is trending. How lucky. - How lucky are you to have my name trending with me? - Someone is going to be so mad if they're like trying to look up Caroline in the city or something. (laughs) They're like, what the fuck is this? It's trying to sell me an ugly bag. - Feels so good to clear the phlegm. - Caroline in the city reference. I mean, come on, come on now, come on, come on. - Come on, guys. - ♪ The phlegm ♪ - Clear. - Clear. - Clear. - Okay. - Let's go on to the next three hours of the show. - I know. Meanwhile, all that talk about wall units, that's what's in. If you get to your home on this podcast, it's actually a wall unit, like Catherine Dennis's. - Ooh, how? - Giddo. - And I am actually considering the fact that I'm like sweating in here. I am empathizing greatly with her or deal at the plantation. I am like-- - Thomas, get me a new air conditioner for now, how? - I don't have one on because it keeps knocking out my power. Okay, you wanna talk about ghetto? I can't even use that thing. So I'm just gonna be sweating, sweating it out, smilting out the teetos. - You guys, I just pulled a muscle doing that Catherine impersonation. Like, I was at Thomas and my back muscle just totally sees it. I'm like, oh, I hate that. I didn't tear it, but I pulled my back muscle one time pooping and it like, it was like a simple poop. I know that's too gross, sorry, but it's true. And I was like, I could walk for two weeks. I mean, come on. - Go to the gym, yeah. - Okay, so real housewives of-- - Pachoma. - Pachoma, 'cause that was an actual show, I suppose a reunion. - I have an opening that I need to discuss. I have an opening comment. - Okay. - Wow, what a fucking idiot I am, okay? We've been talking about Bravo now for four years. You would think that by now, I would know better, especially what a Dutch mental prick I am, you would think that I would be, I don't know, that I would have the foresight to know that they were fucking with me this whole time. I've been ranting and raving about this huge race issue that we're supposed to get in the last episode where Giselle stands up. She says, she doesn't wanna be back! And they made it seem like this humongous thing. I've been on the defensive every single episode of this. I mean, I hate Giselle for legit reasons as well, but that was mostly it, like that. What I thought was coming. These people totally fucked me. When she was getting up, she was going to, like, get a fork from another table. She was not going to ink. (laughing) - What? - It was fucking crazy. - All these discussions that we've been having, all of the comments that have been coming at me, you know, the good side is that people have actually sent me some really good shit that has educated me. - Oh, yeah. - But, the response is great. - So I guess it was a learning moment, even though it wasn't from this fucking show. But, you know what, fuck you, so I totally fell for it. I will not do it again, brah, brah. - Well, honestly, you know, 'cause last week, we talked about, we had a big long talk about race and being biracial and being light-skinned and, you know, like, who better to pontificate about it than two white guys, right? But what was cool was that we had a whole conversation and we were trying to really talk out as sensitively and as properly and as dignified as we could about the topic and, you know, I think we tried our best. We may have missed the mark and some things. We may have hit it in other ways. But what was great is that when people responded on Twitter and on Facebook, it wasn't internet rage. It wasn't like, you fucking racist. You're so ignorant that other people were like, actually, you didn't really get it right, but here's my experience. Or some people said we did get it right. You know, it was like, people had different responses, but it was never like some ridiculous finger pointing, whatever, it was like, everyone-- - They were totally cool, they were like, running a little ignorant, so read this link. - Yeah. - Okay. - And I did, and guess what I learned. So I already said this, but thank you, Jezebel. 'Cause again, very good article. - We are a lot like Jezebel. - Really good. So it was about the biracial fight and all of that. And a lot of stuff was explained to me, which I've never heard before. So I've never heard the word colorist or color. Well, I've heard that. I mean, you know, gays who do your hair, but-- - I've had to say 50 gay men in Beverly Hills just fainted. You've never heard of a colorist. I've paid so much money for those cards. - Colorism, which is, you know, black people use it against each other. - You know, it's like their own ignorance within their community, their own fights within their own community. I also learned that when people say biracial, I was saying last week, if someone is light-skinned, then probably there's someone white in their family tree at some point. But people were saying, no, that's not true. And I thought that literally makes no sense to me. And I did not understand why people were saying that was untrue. So this article explains that it's only considered biracial if it's your immediate descendants, meaning your father, your grandfather, or your, yeah, or your mom or your grandmother. And the reason that is, is because tracing roots is very different because of slavery, obviously. And so it's not considered biracial in the same way that me as a Lebanese person, I'm half Lebanese and half, you know, this, because that's my family. But if it's like four generations down, what they're not gonna, maybe they'll say Lebanese, Mexican, they'll mix it all together. But it's just different for whatever reason. - Ronnie, okay, sorry, I had a phone call I had to take. So Ronnie, you're a very important topic, please hope. (laughing) - No, I was talking about being Lebanese and the difference between being biracial. - It doesn't mean it's basically, the article's very good at Jezebel. It just explained a lot of terminology to me that I did not understand in the context of the arguments. I still think that Jezebel and Robin are fucking bitches. And I still think that they shouldn't, I still think they're mean in saying the things that they are. But I'm just more well-rounded knowing all of that stuff. I had no idea. - Yeah, no, I mean, say what you will about this show, say what you will about these women, but it has brought up a really interesting discussion. And there have been several people who've said, this is the first time that these sort of conversations about being biracial or light-skinned, et cetera, have really come to the fore in a mainstream way in terms of TV, or at least as far as, I mean, as far as I know, what I watch, it's different from what everyone else watches. So what do I know? So what, who cares? But so I think it's valuable. And I've actually really enjoyed the conversation. And like I said before, I love the way our listeners are engaging us in this conversation. It's not a finger-pointing thing. People see this as a teachable moment, as they say. They're using it that way, having mature, intelligent conversations and comments bad on our Facebook page and on Twitter. I want to thank our listeners for being like that. - My main issue with that in general is just, this show is one of the dumbest fucking things I've ever sat through. And so talking so seriously about such a stupid fucking show kills me. So please, let's just start making fun of it. - Well, we can start right now because the episode begins with Sharice in bed. And guess what she announces? She's starting a goddamn new chapter for trying out loud. I'm like brushing your teeth is not a new chapter, okay? - Going, pretending you're waking up with like a full face of makeup is not a new chapter. Okay, you do that every day. - Hitting this news button does not a chapter every single time, okay? She's like, I did four chapters this morning. - They all say the same thing, but you know, those are books for you. - No, they're not. - Yeah, there's no whatever. - Different things on every page. - The, I wrote down the title of this episode was Rules of Enragement. And I thought, man, that actually sounds like something that Sharice would say. Now, you know, you gotta follow the rules of enragement. No, no stupid with your chapters. - Stupid, no stupid. The first thought we got, by the way, guess what it was? - Golf. - Okay, yeah. - That's all I've said. - That's beautiful. I have things to say about the B roll later. So then Giselle and Rob can go to the stables. They're just like talking. The only, the only thing that I really wrote down was, you know me, like I have this reputation mainly 'cause I say it a lot about how like kids, I'm like, oh kids. But sometimes kids do things that are so cute that I'm like, oh. And for some reason, I thought it was so adorable that when Giselle and Robyn were sitting on the side, like talking while the kids were on the horses, that Robyn's little son was just sort of sitting next to her, just sitting right there. For some reason, I thought it was so adorable. - He refused to ride the horse. He's like, I don't wanna get on a fucking horse. Fuck that. I was told there would be no men on this horse trip and their father will not participate. - God, Karen flies up her head. - Yeah. That horse is high, guys. - Indeed. (laughing) - So Robyn and Gis taken their kids to the horse. They started talking and of course Robyns, Robyn's riveting storyline. - No, they don't know that Juan is staying here. Now it raises the question, will we be in a gander? (laughing) - Is that what's raising the question for crying out loud? - Hey, you're mortgage. - Yeah. So then we go over to Karen. I'm sort of like, there were a bunch of scenes where nothing really happened. So like, then we go to Karen. She's packing Raven up for college. - Well, we have to say, I have to add this. One thing from this scene, I'm so sorry, I will speed through this, but I had to say Robyn is like, you know, like, it's really good to be poor because like rich kids, like they go to private schools and like, they don't even know who they are. - Yes, they do, they're rich. - Yes, rich people are not just all robots, okay? I get you're trying to make yourself feel better about, or better about being poor. But come on, lady. - Well, I think she was trying-- - I thought she was trying to make a comment about like, you know, they don't like, like rich kids, maybe I read into this, but it wasn't about like how, they may not totally understand like, other facets of the black experience in terms of like, the black kids that are poor and have to deal with top of racism. - Well, she started by saying it's, there's very few black families in Potomac. So to know other black families is very important so that kids can see people that look like themselves, obviously. - Yeah, yeah. - I mean, God, I wish there were a bunch of-- - Yeah, there's a lot of-- - Back to burritos, when I was growing up, that would have been amazing. - There's a lot of stuff that was inferred in that statement, yeah, for sure. - Well, she said that flat out before, but then they started talking about money. So I don't know either. She took it the other way, who knows? - So then Karen's being in school, Karen's packing up Raven, and it's the typical, you know, real housewife sending their child to college scene. But then we learned that with Raven out of the house that Karen and Rey are now, they're dating again. She's like, I bought, I bought Rey a feather. I'm like, little, little girl. (laughing) So the update is that she has a feather, she bought a feather for Rey. - And handcuffs. - But to be fair, it was probably like a feather pen because they're that outdated with their technology in their house. - I'm just gonna use some calligraphy on Rey tonight. Forget about the papyrus, we are now moving on to quills. (laughing) - I just gave her count as the land voice. - And Katie just trying it, bless her heart. - I know. - You sound like her trying to do that voice. - Yeah. In Katie news, Katie has a zit. So that's her news. So Karen bought a feather, Katie got a zit. So this is like what's going on in the season finale. - Riveting. - Sharice has a new chapter. - So Robin still is wondering about one. (laughing) - One singular sensation. - This whole finale episode, I thought where are they gonna have their finale episode? 'Cause this show is so broke down. I know it's gonna be in like the parking lot of a sizzler or some shit. - Big lots. So Katie is like hanging, I think she's hanging out with, and she and Andrew are driving to the farm that Katie had bought at some point. - She bought it in 2005 as a model. And I bought it because like, I was just, you know, as a model, like I'm just sick of people touching me. I just bought it so no one could touch me. You understand? And she's like, yep, I will not be touching you in this house. How romantic. - I like the irony that Katie said when she was a model, she then bought the farm because she's basically like, yeah, then my career died after that. Just like the farm. So anyway, so Katie was, you know, talking about like getting the farm and this and that and how she says there's more to life than just sitting around and gossiping. And then it cuts to her gossiping. So you're having a gossip. I'm like, shut up, Katie. Okay, like, we understand, you have a legitimate, you know, bone to pick with Giselle, but like you all are also a gossip. - Yes. - And there isn't much better to do 'cause you don't do it. This charity she runs, have you, have we talked about those articles that came out talking about her phony ads charity? They donated $3,000 last year. - Yeah, right. And it's been like a pittance over the course of the past how many five years it's been. - Yes. - Now to Katie's credit though, there's been no fraud. It's just a low functioning charity. And they interviewed her and she's like, yeah, we're trying to do better. Like, at least she didn't shy away from it. At least she didn't try to be like Karen with like a gala that's in her foyer. You know, at least she's like, yeah, yeah, we were not doing well, but we are hoping, you know, to improve. - Yeah, but how much did they raise? That's the real question. Because a lot of those charities, they don't have to get, I think they only have to give something like 10 or 15%. So a lot of these charities are bullshit tax shelters and people take a paycheck and then that's it. You know, they throw these huge balls and that's how they live, they're all fucking. So I don't know if there's no fraud yet. It wouldn't be technical fraud, but it would still be some shady shit lady. - Yeah, oh, I'm sure there's that. So then Giselle calls up and invites Katie to lunch. This come to Jesus lunch and Katie is like rolling her eyes doing like making these like suck my dick faces with Andrew and everything else. Like, you know, I mean, I understand why they're doing it, but at the same time you can't act like you're above all that shit and then you're sitting there like, which I don't like there's a dick in your mouth. That's just not. - Well, stupid, Giselle is so mean. And then she's like, we need to have a come to Jesus lunch where everybody realizes that we have each other's back. Like how many lives have you tried to ruin in this show? Giselle, like how many people you fucked with every single person on this show, except for Robin. And I'm sure she'll get her turn next year. Like she's the worst. She's the biggest. It's like a Kenya trying to have a let's all make up moment or me throwing her big. Let's all go to therapy. Lady uni. - Giselle is nowhere near our hospital. - Giselle is nowhere near as bad as Kenya though. I mean, that's like, I mean, Kenya is, I think that Giselle, I mean, I think she's nosy. I think she pokes the bear sometimes, but I don't think she's like, I mean, Kenya is like, I mean, she's a different level. I just don't think Giselle is there. I'm sorry. - No, Giselle acting like she's gonna be the peacemaker when she started most of these problems today, I'm sorry. - Well, I mean, she definitely is in the most of these problems, I'm not gonna lie. - If she's not Kenya, trust me, it's not because she's not trying. - Yeah. - It's just because she's not pretty good at it. - No, I just don't think she's like, I mean, Kenya, I think is like certifiably like, Kenya is just in her own league with that sort of shadiness. I'm not shady, it's just like, how do you describe it? Being manipulative, instigating, you know, all that. - Starting fights, you know, starting fires. - Evil. - Evil, yeah. - What's that term? Evil. - I'm like, gross. - Okay. - Moving time. - So then we have Ashley and Andrew having sushi on their roof and Ashley like wouldn't let Andrew come up to staircase before she like moved a few of her hairs in the right direction. - Wait, don't come up serious just yet. I'm not quite ready yet. - Oh God, I got some sushi in my hair. - Uh huh. - My, my, my, I'm not quite decent. - I am fast, I'm fast forwarding through my notes. I'm sorry, am I soothing? - No, no, I like, my notes are ridiculous. I take so many notes. I mean, I put, I did put though, PS, a butt grab is a white guy thing. I've noticed it because I looked at it this weekend and that really is a white guy thing. It really is. I see it do, I mean. - Yeah. - But we'll get to it. - I have to do it to me. Okay, so, uh, straight guys. I don't, yeah, that was just something I had. Oh! - That was just something I had earlier, but I also like that Katie said, why would you invite a nice Jewish girl to come to Jesus? - Yeah, I know. I thought that too. I thought that was funny. - But she actually seemed to take offense to it. She didn't, you know, she's like, I'm Jewish. Like, yeah. - It's a term, it's a term. - Oh, I thought she was just kidding. - Oh, I thought she was, I thought she was serious. - Look at what we, look at what we project onto these people. - Yeah, who knows? - They could be terrible. They could be wonderful. - Who knows? - Yes. - It's just a word holding a mirror up to ourselves, really. - Not on this one. I have to say on this one, I do not feel a spiritual mirror with any of these people. I really don't. Thank God. Maybe a little bit, Ashley, but just, I think just 'cause I like her voice the most. - Yeah. - Andrew's going to Scotland. Where, am I, what did I mess up? - I forgot what I skipped over that because it basically said he's going to Scotland and then Katie got upset. But we all knew it's the season finale. When he says to Scotland, she gets upset and they're going to a farm, obviously there's a proposal on the way. You, it's a classic and he's gonna have terrible shirt. What else could it mean? - Yeah, exactly. So they go to Katie's farm, which is very pretty. And they walk up to this area called the vortex, which is quote unquote an energy center where you feel connected to all things in nature. - Yeah, basically it's five big plastic pots from the Home Depot with some fucking flowers in them. I mean, that was just sadness. - Yeah, it was, I'm like, if this is where you feel all connected to nature, then we really need to help the planet 'cause there's not a lot to feel there. - Here's the carnation field. It's like a little pot. - Here's where you get to feel all the wonderful energy from bouquets, from Ralphs. 999, unless you're a Ralph's member, so 99. - So everything's wrapped in plastic still. - Yeah. - So they go up there. It's obvious a proposal is on the horizon and sure enough, Andrew gets down on both his knees 'cause apparently his jeans were too tight and he proposes that this whole season she wants a ring. She wants a ring. He proposed and she's like, yeah, Katie. We're supposed to cry and like, gosh, and be like, oh my God. So she was like, okay, cool. - Well, it's like she finally wore him down and it was so not romantic. She's like, wow, by the flower pots at my own house. This was great. - In the vortex. You proposed to me in a vortex. - It's like, will you marry me? And I'm still not taking you to Ireland. - Yes, okay, fine. I'll do it. - And then they kiss and then Andrew's like, (imitates humming) I'm like, oh. Give me Karen and the feather, please. (laughs) - Bay, let me see. Okay, so here's one thing, 'cause I never say anything nice about Giselle 'cause I hit her guts. - Yeah. - But I do, the only time I ever like her is when she's with her kids. I love her kids with her kids. I think she's so funny. She's so different when she's around her kids. - Yeah. - I think she's openly mommy-y. She's like, seems like she's being herself, I guess. - I think she's funny with her kids. I think she's funny when she's not with her kids, but we can have this argument to the cows come home. Not that there are already cows out there. I wish there were, for some reason, I would love a cow to walk in right now. - Well, we just saw a bunch of cows over at that farm, flies all over their damn face. - Or cows. - Like, we have to watch, even the cows thought that was the worst engagement they've ever seen. - You know, the cows are like, we've been sucked into this awful vortex. ♪ The vortex ♪ - Vortex of terrible engagement, never leave. - The cows probably all tried wandering over 'cause they heard the angels laughing. (laughing) Their cows were like, what, is someone calling for us? - The flies eating the shit off of our face is more romantic than that engagement, okay? At least they're contributing something. - Yeah. - Still, let's see, the farm house looks like it's-- - You're saying that Giselle and her kids. - Oh, Giselle with her kids. I'm looking up in her Betty Crocker cookbook, how to make macaroons, good lord. Okay, so this is hilarious to me. This is what happens in this scene. She's like, well, things with Herman didn't really work out, but he did pull some strings to get my father, not honored in Congress. Like, he's getting some special honorary award in Congress. - Yeah. - Look, we've seen a lot of fuckin' for a lot of stupid shit. Usually a car, a music career, a lot of things on this show. But in honorary fuckin' shout out in Congress, you go, girl, way to use your van. - Way to go, way to go. - Nice work, though, really. I mean, that's some important strategic hodom right there. (laughing) - Yes, well done, Giselle. Although, I tend to think it probably was not as hoey as it sounds, but like, yeah, that was cool, but Giselle's dad came in and told like a really nice story about Martin Luther King, who he used to work with back in the day. And yeah, so basically, Herman got Giselle's dad, Curtis, honored. And so he told the story, the daughters were listening. They're like, that was a long story. - And when he said, when the dad said, someone found out who I am, and they're honoring me. I was like, oh good, way to ruin it, Giselle. You know, you'd have to, you'd just have to sing on TV. Like, I basically made this guy want me so I could get my dad in a ward, and your dad thinks that someone was going through some old papers, and was like, whoa, we should honor this guy. He's gonna be so pissed when he watches this. I'm mortifying. - Yes, all those accomplishments just destroyed by someone who wanted to get a proper reality show. - Pretty much, I don't even know what I'm saying anymore. - They were doing some weird home cam thing with this. - I thought, man, is the fucking camera people, are they bored enough with this show that they're like, okay guys, just shoot yourselves. - I know, this cracked me up because then all of a sudden, it was like, Giselle Cam, and it was like her just getting honored, and then it was like, Ashley Cam, and it was like, welcome to us, our new restaurant. And then it was like, Karen Cam, and it was like, footage of Black Bill Gates shooting her, and I was like, oh, so it was Karen Cam as footage of Bill Gates Cam. Okay, I was like, where's Fon Cam, where's the Fon Cam? - He's terrified, that GoPro is like miles away. It's been sick of being terrified. - I know, it's probably run over. It keeps running into the damn street when those women come out of the house. - We had someone from Potomac at the show, not like someone who lives in, who's from Potomac, who's at our show last night, and he afterwards, he was like, every time you guys mention the Fon, it's hilarious because it's a real problem. We have deer everywhere, it's crazy, and the funny thing about that was, A, he was like very passionate about it, but B, we had a totally separate person on our Facebook page be like, you guys, the deer are a real problem at Potomac. It's like, this is like a raw nerve over there, but the thing is, I get it because I'm from Westchester, New York. Where's the same thing? If you talk about deer people, like, oh, the deer, the deer, it's like, yep. - We've got a bunch of them over in old takes. It's to you, the thing that cracks me up about the deer is that it seems to be the exact same one always being terrified. - It just seems like the same little Fon. - They're just, they're following the Fon around. - The Fon or a golf ball. And by the way, when I hung out with Matt on Saturday, he was like, oh, I hung out with Matt Woodfield on Saturday, everyone. Oh, and he is a knock on wood, unless everything, like, unless something falls through, he's gonna be our co-host on Thursday, talk about me on the other hills. But Matt Woodfield was like, those bitches are, they're not from Potomac, they're from Silver Spring. (laughing) It's like, I love Matt, like, I, like, Matt and I were playing board games, and I don't know, I fell in love with Matt Woodfield all over again. - Oh, he's so funny. Lori tells us good stuff about that. She's like, they are totally faking it. Lori is a listener that we've known for a long time, and she's always telling us shit, they're faking on this show. - You know what's funny is that obviously all these, all these people, like all these different casts, like the term, the location that they're from is always very loose. I mean, look at real houses of Beverly Hills. You have someone in Malibu, someone in Pasadena. It's like crazy, they're so far apart. But it's the people who are from like, it's funny, it's like Jersey, Orange County, Potomac, Atlanta to a certain extent. People from those cities or those regions get so mad at these shows because they hate the way their areas are being portrayed. They're like, they do not represent my town. No, no, I'm sorry. 'Cause Beverly Hills were just like, okay, cool. - But I love when they dress up like Real House, so I say where they're bravo, you know, ball gowns, and then they go to like the grab shack. - Yeah. - So good. - So speaking of good shit, they're arriving, I don't know, at a denny's or whatever. - It's called like OAI or OIA or something like that. - For the come to Jesus branch. And they're walking on gravel. Robin and Jiz are there first, and they're walking over the gravel and Jazelle goes, oh, these cobblestones, like god, you are a fount of stupid. (both laughing) - That's right. - Well, they are, she's like, we are not getting up from the table until everyone airs their petty little differences. I'm using the reserve sign as a talking stick. - Two things, I have two things to say about that. A, when she said that, I was like, oh, she doesn't know. She's never seen bravo. This never works. I mean, has she ever seen one of Dr. Jackie's lemon squeezes? It does not work. This whole, we're not getting up until we resolve. It doesn't work. But B, when she said you could only talk when you hold the reserve sign, I was like, thank you. I feel like all these shows, whenever they have their come to Jesus, lunches or dinners or lemon squeezes, someone should be like, you can't talk unless you hold this thing. You can't-- - Talking stick. - Let's hold the conch. - Talking stick, darling. - Do they have something they had to hold in the lemon squeeze? I don't remember. - No, I don't remember. There's been a few talking sticks. - We've seen a few talking sticks on, bro, or talking-- - Few conscious. - Few conscious. - But yeah, I like that it was a reserve sign because, you know, there's a reserve sign on the table and it just looks like these women are just coming in and stealing so much stuff. - I know, I'm about to say, I can't wait to get the real people who are supposed to sit there and show up. (laughing) So Kelly shows up and the first thing of course that she knows is she's like, oh, Giselle in the center again, but it's appropriate. Like, oh, she's such an idiot that woman's an idiot too. - You know, listen, I have a problem with Ashley because Ashley has really shown her ass. - What? - I know, she's like, I have tried over and over again with this child and I can't get through her. I'm like, Karen, it's not like she's going back to jail every five days, it's not like she keeps going back to the pipe, all right? You are not rehabbing her from the streets and you just can't seem to put her on the straight narrow. All that's happened is that she invited, like her husband surprised her at a beach house and then she said she wanted to get to know your daughter. Those are the only two things that happens. They're just calm down. - There are people who have real issues with the former people, you know? - At least Karen's phony outrage is hilarious. - I agree. - I mean, I love it. - I love it. - It is ridiculous. When this fight really gets going and she starts waving, going crazy, she's talking so street, I love it. And it's all scoping. And then Ashley just sits there and laughs at her the entire time. - Yeah, yeah. I mean, when Karen is like, she starts talking, she's like, "Well, you and Michael do the pull-up method, right?" Well, I suggest that you let him stay in, ejaculate, procreate, and get a baby of your own." I was like, "Ooh, Karen." - God, like someone wants your child. Laney, no one is an Ashley. - You make your family game trade-o-ing date. Your daughter or your 17. Like, you're always making remarks about my relationship and play. My husband was coming on that trip to try and get her to your panties. I mean, give me a break, lady. - Well, that was right. I mean, just inappropriate. - Oh, whoa. - Inappropriate, inappropriate. - Inappropriate. - Inappropriate. It says, "All this is inappropriate," is Giselle singing the center seat again. - The them cutting back and forth between her talking about manners and that fucking dress she's wearing that goes down to her belly button, like the slit goes down to her belly button, and two human adult-sized heads as her implants. - Benny and those look like wig heads under there. - Yeah, I'm sorry, Karen. You know, you just, you can't talk about appropriate behavior and then simultaneously be really speaking vulgar ways about pulling out and leaving the dick in and ejaculate. It's like, you know, that's, I mean, I think Robin was the one who was like, I don't think that's the polite way to speak in Potomac, you know? But I love it. - I love it, don't ever change. - Taking a pulling out. Did you remember when Ashley was talking to Michael earlier in the episode? 'Cause they had a pull out comment to you, but I'm not sure what it meant because she's like, well, you know, I have the little doggy. I'm gonna have you and I have the restaurant, but you know, those are our babies, but you know, my biological clack's ticking. Like, you could die any second. I want a baby. - I guess we'll have that when we were working even. And she's like, - Oh, oh, I don't know. Okay, so if we break even, then you promise you don't give me a baby. - He's like, yeah. - You're not gonna pull out. - He's like, hey, he's like, no. Did she mean you're not gonna pull out? - I guess so. - Or did she mean you're not gonna pull out of this deal? 'Cause at first, I thought she was talking about pulling out of the deal. And then after this scene, I was like, why are they talking about pulling out so much? What is the obsession on this show? Everybody needs a goddamn condom. That's two bravo shows that we've talked about today. - I know, they mentioned the pull out method also. Shep mentioned it on Southern Charm. He's like, he's like, you know what Thomas needs to do is learn how to pull out. I'm like, do people know that by the way, the pull out method is really considered an antiquated form of birth control and STD prevention. Like, it's really, like, it's wrong. - And the fact that he's been in, like, mentioning it? - No, I think she can get the reason. Oh, I'm sorry, Benny. - No, I was gonna say, the fact that they keep on mentioning it in this way is kind of like, it's kind of-- - But, you know, it's a gay thing because we're, we have to wear condoms. I mean, you gotta wear condoms. Like, being gay and not wearing condoms is just fucking stupid, I'm sorry. And I'm so used to it, it's totally gross to me thinking, oh my God, it's like if you do your dishes with the gloves for a long time, and then you stop using the gloves, and you're like, oh, I'm touching all that sliminess, gross, give me the gloves back. That's how it feels with my penis. My penis is like, why would I want to be inside of a human without a condom? It's just disgusting. - Exactly. - Yeah, nothing. - Not washing your hands before you go back to work, darling! - I know! - Jesus, Jesus. - Jesus. - Okay, and that's the pull out method because now everyone's gonna go fuck bear back tonight. We're saying the word so much. - So anyway, here comes Katie. They thought, they didn't know she was gonna come because she's mad at Giselle, whatever, but you know, probably her desire to brag about her new engagement ring overruled her desire to stay away from Giselle. So she shows up, she grabs a reserve sign, she's like, I'm engaged, and everyone like claps, everyone's like happy for her. Justifiably so, it was very good. It's a lovely thing for you, Katie. And so, and then it's like, okay, now we can go in on her. So, so Robin's like, oh, I think I wanna give you a black history lesson. - Again, how about you guys learn what cobblestone is first? You're gonna teach me shit. - Well, I mean, so I feel like Robin, first of all, that's not the way to start that conversation 'cause it was in a condescending, snarky way. So immediately Katie was on the defensive, but Katie was also a little extra on the defensive. And she's like, oh my God, we're gonna talk about this again. So then here comes the race fight, you know? And the thing that was strange to me, I found, was that I felt like everything that the women were saying on both sides were correct, but they just, it was weird. It was weird 'cause I agree with everything everyone was saying, but they just didn't correspond. So like when Robin says, there's a difference between black people and white people's experiences, it's like, yes. And when Katie says, but what does that have to do with being on a dance floor and grabbing people's bots? It's also like, yes. - Oh, and then Giselle, I was mad not because of the, not because of race, but because your husband was disrespecting you! - Oh, please lady. - Well, I mean, the thing is this. - Like her husband's openly cheating on her with some man on the middle of the dance floor. - Here's really probably what really happened, okay? Giselle saw Michael grab Andrew's ass and was like, oh my God, that's weird, I mean, it is weird. It's like, okay, it's a little strange, like what's going on with Michael? And he seemed a little gay in the past, like, what's up with Michael? Which I think all of us would have done, right? But now she's cornered on it, so now she has to sound like more, like it's more intellectualized, a little more thoughtful. So it's like, it was disrespected to space, but it's like, it wasn't because Andrew wasn't bothered by it, so it's really none of your business, so shut up. - Yeah, and I think they're not being honest about what they're fighting about, Robin and Giselle. They're changing their stories now. Like, Robin's like, what? I didn't even mean anything offensive, like, I was just saying, like, there's different experiences, so I don't know, it's just asking. - Like, she hasn't been making little snide comments every episode of this entire season. - But by the way, we both agreed last week, we thought it was just like a harmless joke, and it was a harmless joke, and now that she's been called on it, now she has to be like, now she has to be like, oh no, I really wanna know, is this part of the white experience, which is so ridiculous? It's like, yeah, but you asked it for the white experience, and Katie was right, well, why don't you ask a white person, you know? - Uh-huh. - But, you know, I wish Robin had just been like, oh sorry, I was just making a joke, I didn't mean to. - Yeah, and Katie isn't mad about that either, the fight is deeper than that, and at least she said it. You know, she kinda said it, but here's, of course, I'm gonna go on Giselle, because come on, Giselle. She says, oh wait, where was I, I was just gonna do the, Giselle wasn't a straight gay thing, it was disrespect. - Okay, so then it's when she tells her, it seems like you don't wanna be black, like she starts that, am I skipping ahead? - No, no, I just wanted to, no, there's just one thing I wanna say before you get into this section of the argument with Giselle, I just wanna say that Robin also said about the, what I'm gonna talk about with the white, like, I wanna know if white guys do it, 'cause black men don't do that, I was like, now that I was like, no, no, no, I guarantee black men do that too, I guarantee they're black men who grab other black men's asses. - Of course, man, they just fuck with each other, who cares, we fuck with each other in every way. - It's part of being a man, grabbing each other's boots, isn't it? Eh, eh, how much do you work at, Ty? - Go. - Michael, okay, Michael is a little gay, but still gay. - Be in the ass padding. - She, Giselle, totally rewrites history, as usual, and says, Katie's like, you're always asking me about my race and my, this and that, it's annoying, and she says, yeah, but remember that day I asked you and you said you weren't black. - I mean, that is not what happened at all. - I agree. - She's told her very, like, I mean, kind of rudely, but teasing her, who cares? - Who's a joke? - She was like, so who are we today, Jewish or black? And she said, well, I don't know, I'm gonna be today, I could be either one, or she said something like that, and she was just like, oh, she said she wasn't black. - And that's ridiculous, yeah, 'cause Katie was basically like, I think you could see Katie's actually a little uncomfortable with the question, and she sort of politely demurered. You know, is that the right word? Am I caring enough for now? - Yeah, she was, she kind of like plays it on, just being crazy me, like, she's just like, I don't know how to answer this, I don't know if this, like, safe way to answer, so I'll just give, like, a neutral deflection. - Yes, and it was just a fun, kind of snarky opening at a party, it wasn't any big deal that anybody needs to get in a huge fight over, but for Giselle, if anyone should be mad, like if anyone would have any inkling to be mad, it wouldn't be Giselle. So her acting, like, completely changing everything that said and screaming that she's pretending she's not like, it's just stupid. - Well, but it got to an interesting point, I thought, because then, you know, they were saying, Ashley then says, like, you know, you know, I didn't care about the butt grabbing, so it should've been, like, it should've just been over, and Giselle said, well, it would've been over, except Katie came in and started making these comments about biracial this or that, whatever, and then Katie responds at this luncheon. In an interesting way, she said, well, I wanted you to see what it was like, you know, to have someone come at you racially and make these labels or whatever, or say these things. Now, you know, it was like, for me to feel it, which I thought was an interesting point, you know? And I'm, although I do wonder, was that really her intention at that time, or is it more like, after the fact that, oh, that's probably what I was doing. - Either way, I thought it was-- - I thought it was just-- - It was just stick with what we said last week. I think that she's been pissed, and she's wanted to say, you guys are being mean about race with me, and it's not cool, and instead of doing it at a proper time, she did it on this stupid butt grab thing, so none of it makes proper-- - Yeah, it's not in context. It's like when you're mad, it just all comes bubbling out in the worst ways, which is why, you know, Jazelle went up saying, like, you're a stupid woman who says stupid things, but-- - Well, you gotta still, I mean, this Katie goes, I was just showing you your own hypocrisy, and Ashley's like, oh, wow, Katie, that's a deep word, hypocrisy. (laughing) It's my favorite kind of government hypocrisy. It's my favorite animal in the zoo. - But I think that Jazelle also made an interesting point, which I think it was good because at the very least, it showed where Jazelle, at least where Jazelle's and securities are, let me back up. Jazelle said that she doesn't have a problem with Katie being biracial, but that she feels like Katie acts like it's a problem to be black sometimes. Now, whether or not that's true, I think it's an interesting comment, 'cause I think that gets in, that lends insight into everything, you know? And I think it probably gets into insecurities about maybe feeling marginalized in society, or feeling marginalized by other people. So I think when she said that, I feel like that probably was like an important thing to make, 'cause I'm sure that maybe, 'cause maybe Katie does act like that, and she doesn't realize, or maybe Jazelle-- - Well, she says, she doesn't feel the need to identify her entire personality based on either side. Like, she's just like, I'm just a person. Why does it have to be a question? Why does it have to be a deep discussion every fucking time? - Yes, but then at the same time, I can imagine someone like Jazelle says, "But why is it so wrong to be called black?" But then Katie probably says, "But I don't think it's wrong." So that's, but I never said it was. - 'Cause she never said it was. - So it's like Jazelle's basing it all on a false argument in the first place. So she's basing it all off it, so I can't even take it seriously. - But I think what was good was that it exposed on the deep level, the insecurity that all this is hitting for Jazelle, so at least then they can start to fix it, right? I mean, I don't know why they're talking like a therapist. Like, I'm so glad that Jazelle has a group. - 'Cause they don't get to fix anything. She's just-- - And I'm like, "Jazelle had a break, she doesn't know this." - Something else to be awful about that won't be as like Hitachi is subject to talk about, but she's just always gonna lie and make up shit, and then try and fight and turn it back on the other person. I mean, it seems to be her pattern so far. But only when she hasn't really totally gone up against, like she came down a bit with Karen, but I don't think that'll last very long. Karen better watch her ass next year. - Oh, yeah. - 'Cause they all look like a bunch of little minions, and what are you following this woman around for? Like, she's talking on some landline and pretending she's calling her husband upstairs when he's in the next room on her, you know. - I love me so many. I love this, I'm ridiculous. - They are gonna take that bitch down and I'm gonna laugh. - Well, what was amazing to me was, so after Katie called Jazelle, a stupid woman who says stupid things, which is pretty much the only thing that Katie's wanted to say for the past 10 episodes, now she's finally said it, she finally got it out. It was Cherise and Karen who were the voice of reason. Cherise was like, she's like, okay, like you guys, do you talk about race a lot, so I want you to cool it because we're starting a new chapter, and we're not talking about race in the chapter, okay? - I want everybody to know this, that my husband is not here, and I'm okay with that. Like, it wasn't invited, I'm okay with that too. - She's like looking through the menu, she's like, oh, I'm gonna go from the appetizer to the entree, it's a new chapter in the menu. - Speaking of new chapters, I brought a projector and now it's a flight show of what I look like at my 50th birthday party. There's 20 chapters though, enjoy. - But then Karen was the one who finally was like, you know what, we all need to respect each other's boundaries and that's what none of us are doing, including me and Ash or whatever, and then they like had this moment, it was like the fog lifted and they all realized how ridiculous they were being and so they all apologized, and then all of a sudden everything was good. And then we got to Haiti screaming over and over again, you are a stupid woman who says stupid things, you're a stupid, stupid woman, I was cheering in my house. I was like, I knew you were so happy, I knew you were so happy. - I loved it because Giselle was being such a liar and just the fact that she's like, I ain't even gonna fight with you, you are stupid and you say stupid, stopping stupid, stupid. She said stupid I think 20 times, and then at the end she's like, okay, well, I'm sorry I said that you're a stupid woman who says you do stupid things. Well, the first five times, I'm sorry for that. And also Robin, I'm sorry I called you a bitch. - Okay, great lunch guys. (laughs) - Who wants to help share my miniature golf fundraiser? You know, I have to say, I was actually happy for Katie, 'cause I knew, you could see, it was just like, it finally, she finally got to say it. So I was like happy for her, I was happy for you, Ronnie. But I actually, I feel like, I feel like Giselle though, I didn't think that the things she was saying were totally idiotic. I thought they were like, legitimate, I thought they were legitimate feelings to have. And you know, the problem is that everyone's wires are all across and everything is all, like nothing is communicating properly, they're arguing different things, they all have their different insecurities about these things. And instead of recognizing that they all have different insecurities and boundaries, as Karen noted about the boundaries, they were just attacking each other instead of just like, just dealing with their own shit. - So she lied, so it's not even about her feelings that she can't even be honest in the argument that's supposed to be, you know, about her feelings. It's something she's totally making up. - It didn't even make sense. The way she told that story was not at all how it happened. And they showed the clip of her lying her fucking ass off. So she had sucked my dick with your feelings. - Well, I wouldn't say that she lied, I think that she remembered it completely incorrectly. I think there's a difference. - You know, lying is, to me, a deliberate thing. You know, I think that she-- - Saying, she said you weren't black. - She interpreted it, you said you weren't black. - She interpreted it, she misconstrued it for sure. Because I think, as we saw, I think this exposed an insecurity that she has, and that she's gonna have to deal with, you know? But I think it was good that that insecurity was exposed. I don't know why I'm taking this so seriously. - I know, I'm literally like a therapist right now. - I know, I get it, but you know, the conversation aside just sounds just an asshole. That's it. I hate her, you like her. - I love her. - We're never gonna meet in the middle on that one. And that's what makes it not-- - It's fun, it's fun. - You know, I like her as a character on the show. You know, just the way I like Karen. I mean, Karen's an asshole, but I like her on the show. - Yes. - They work for me, they're entertaining to me, so I'm down with it. So now, as this season finale, and we got our little updates, most of them were pretty standard, but Cherise had the saddest one. It was like, Eddie lives in New Jersey, and Cherise can doggy paddle now. (laughing) And Robin got downsized and now has a new kitchen. (laughing) Katie is still engaged, but then they broke up, but then they got back together again, and I hear they were broken up again, and according to the reunion preview, you'd let her keep the ring. - But it doesn't mean a thing. (laughing) - Oh God, that song, God bless that song. - Good bless it, I hope it gets released. ♪ Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa ♪ ♪ The ring, the middle thing ♪ - Oh, there's a new demo, not that Kim Zolciak. The Kim Zolciak one was obviously, ♪ Whoa, the ring didn't mean a thing ♪ ♪ Whoa, the ring didn't mean a thing ♪ ♪ Oh ♪ - And now you can go into a Sephora or a Kmart, wherever you buy your makeup, and get you a nice jar of jizz to spread all over your face. Wow, thanks, Giselle, thanks for your contribution. (laughing) - What is it called? - It's called a hue something. - I think every hue or something? - Every, she should've called it hue, min-nature. I'm sorry, everyone. - She should've called it, she should've called it hue, "Don't Wanna Be Black." (laughing) - I would've named it Huey Lewis in the news. (laughing) - What? Bye bye now. How many reunions can there possibly be for a show that was doing episodes long? How many are there, do you know? - I don't know. All I know is we now have to go into the Atlanta reunion. We've been podcasting it feels like for 12 hours straight, because we last had a show. It has been like, I am interested to see this, how this next segment of this podcast goes, 'cause my brain is fully flat-lining. - Well, this is flat-lining. - Union number three. I don't really think we've got to go that in depth with the Atlanta reunion. There was not a whole lot of newness here. They made Porsche apologize, I think 70 times, or getting violent. - Yeah. - And she's going-- - I'm going to anger-manage me court. - Oh god, now can't get ashy out of my head. (laughing) She's going to anger-management course, and of course, Kenya's like, 'cause of a show. Kenya's just sitting there, trying to start shit with everybody, lying like she does. Nini's trying to pretend like she's nice, which, I don't know, I guess she just thinks if she keeps telling us we're going to believe it. - Yeah, Nini-- - But she's pretending like she's your just friendly neighborhood Nini, just being realized to everybody, and she doesn't understand why people just give her so much crap. - I like that when Nini showed up that Candy's body had a physical reaction, like her breasts were about to explode, and she's like, "Sick now, time to pump." So she can get out of there, she can't deal. - Mimi and Forza, wow, both thrusts like ice skaters. - Yeah, I was just saying, I wrote down something somewhere about figure, skater, businesswoman, pant suit. I don't know. (laughing) - Muska Pades. - I have all these notes that are all just all over the map. They asked Nini what did she think about Kim Fields being on the show, and Nini was basically like, she didn't like that Kim would just get up and exit a scene, which was basically her way of being like, "Listen, we're getting paid, so you better put in the time." And Kim's response was like, "Well, I'm not a night owl. I'm not a night owl." - How many scenes have we seen Nini walk out of, by the way? - Yeah, hit bow. - Well, to be fair, also, Carpool does start early in the morning, so. There's no way I'm gonna sleep through Carpool. I mean, this is the holiday, this is Kim Fields. - They really were all over Kim, this entire reunion, and she did literally nothing the whole time. Like, why would everybody be so mad at Kim? Come on, people, leave her alone. - Right, what did you think about Nini saying that Housewives of Atlanta is her baby? I was like, there was something really revealing in the way she said that. Like, there was a certain amount of ownership that she took over that, which I thought was fascinating. - Well, it is, she started to, she cast it. You know, she was one, she was the original, she was like the Kyle, she went around and cast all the people she liked. I mean, it kind of was hers. The best part of that was Kenya rolling her eyes and being so bitter smitter. - Yeah. - When Kenya is sitting there, giving her dirty looks, and they showed a flashback to last year, Kenya was wearing a very similar dress. It was like a white C3 doily dress. And I thought, that's kind of odd that Nini's kind of wearing a pant version of that dress and talking about how much she's not threatened by Kenya. - Yeah, I think that one of my favorite parts was when they trotted out a clip package of Shireini's greatest hits. I mean, watching those two fight, they better get fighting next year because those two are just gems when they fight. - And the way that they're just like, oh, that was fun. - Yeah. - Remember those days? - I know, they were. They were acting like it would never happen again. - I think I'm wrong here. I thought this was kind of sad because Andy said, and now Miss Fix Yo Face, Nini Leaks. - You know, Andy's always clever intros. - Yeah. - And she comes out, but then they showed the clip, and I'm pretty sure in the clip, (speaking in foreign language) Nini said to Shireini, "Fix your body." And Shireini said, "Wait." She said, "Fix your body." And Shireini said, "Fix your face." And Nini said, "Fix your whatever." Whatever she said, "Fix your house." Whatever she said. But that wasn't even Nini's line, "Fix your face." And Andy kept giving her credit for it. Like that was the best line of the world. He repeated the line, I think, five times, and it wasn't even her line. - Stalling, so sad. - I know, I know, poor Shireini getting gypped by Nini. I also liked when, so when Nini said, well, Kim said that her friendships with the women on the show were just not as organic as other ones. And then Nini was like, "I think it's very organic." And Shire is like, "Not organic, not organic." - Nini never eats healthy 'cause she just can't find organic products. - She's looked everywhere, she's like, "Where's the organic?" - I know, and I love how, also, at certain point, I started to believe that Phaedra and Portia were just full on drunk. They were just sitting there giggling. Like, at any time, people would be like, "Hey, why weren't you guys happy for Nini "when she showed up?" And they're like, "We're happy on the inside." And Phaedra's like, "Ah, you know, "she's doing your Budweiser laugh." Yes, so this turned good, a couple of really big things actually happened in this reunion, which never happened. Phaedra got her ass caught, straight up caught, just lying her ass off. She tries whipping out her phone and Todd's out here like, "Whatever, man, I can't believe you do that to me. "I don't even care, man, whatever. "Shut up with that, get out of here. "Get out of here, get out of here." She whips out the phone, she's like, "Well, I remember riding you this email on this date." And Candie's like, "Wip out your phone then!" Candie's killing it. She's like, "Wip out your fucking phone then, go ahead." She whips it out. And she's like naming all the dates. She wrote these letters. And she's like, "Oh, wow, a week before the season started." So you could whip out your phone at the reunion and say that you sent us these emails before the show started airing. You fucking lying bitch, this was a year ago. And then Faith was trying to turn it around. Like, your husband went with my husband to the strip clubs. Why didn't you just ask him then? And he said, "You told me this was all between you and me, man, "and not to involve him." It's like he was in it. He was at every meeting. How is he not involved? - Yeah, I mean, I think Vader had a good point. Like, why didn't you ask Apollo? But then Todd was basically like, "Well, it was our contract. "It was our responsibility to do whatever." But the thing is this though, don't ever come for Candie and her businesses because when it comes to Candie's professional reputation, she will not suffer any fools. And you saw she got, when Candie gets mad, she's like, "Ugh," but she's like talking. She's like, "No, Phaedra!" She gets mad, like you don't mess with the Candie factory. - Yep, and Phaedra started whipping out her guilt trip. Like, "Well, do you think that I would call the feds? "Then that's what you think of me." She's like, "Oh, please." She's not falling for it. Phaedra got nailed on this. But when they brought up the feds rating homes, Cynthia got caught and no one even called her out. What a fucking liar that girl is. So the feds came over and Peter tells the story. He's like, "Well, they came over to my house. "And, you know, help me take on some stuff to copy cans." - And basically was saying that they told him at that time, we know that the property is here because it was talked about on Watch What Happens Live. And then they showed the clip of Watch What Happens Live. Cynthia knew that and she still didn't tell anybody and even can't even think that Phaedra is the one who did that. And Phaedra actually didn't do that. That is not fucking cool. - Yeah, that's a good point. That's really, really good. The other thing that was significant is that the husbands came out. So this was Matt's first reunion. So he comes out with a bunch of flowers for the ladies and then like, he basically has dad jokes up asleep 'cause Andy's like, "So is everything good with Peter?" And he's like, "Who's Peter?" You know who's Peter? - Oh, Uncle Ben. Get it? Uncle Ben? Get it, it's a no, right? - Oh, it's a no, I don't know. - That awkward dad delivery of a joke. - That could be you, Fred. - Yeah, so Andy's like, "Are you in love with Kenya?" He can't even look up and say it with a straight face. He's like looking down the grind. He's like, "I'm in love with Kenya more." - You know how funny this shit is? They always joke on the internet that Kenya's always got a rental man. - And I mean, obviously, since season one, her phony ass Walter who said he was hired. - Yeah. - She's such a phony. He's such a phony. I'm not buying that for one second. So this week on the old internet, someone posted a DM of him. I think it was Insta, 'cause you can DM there. So they posted a DM like the week after this was shot, this reunion of him trying to get into some models pants. Being like, "I've followed you for years, but how do I get a date with you, baby?" - Oh, wow. - And then he wrote, "That was a year ago," and this and that. And I'm like, "Uh, you know it's dated, right?" - Right. - But time stamp on this. Stupid. - Stupid, stupid, Matt. He's still so hot to me. So then they started talking, then they started talking about the whole gay thing with Chris and everything. And I love, so apparently there was like this incident that we didn't see. We're on the bus. He apparently flipped out about air conditioning, much as I'm about to do to no one, 'cause it's so hot in here. And apparently when he did it, he got real sassy, and then someone said, "Is that a read?" And he's like, "That is a read." He got like, he did like a faux sassiness or whatever, which is why they started. - And he's like quadruple snapped. - Yeah, he thought you were gonna say it. He was like, "Wave, quadruple snapping." So that was a read. - So that's why they thought he was sassy. So apparently he actually did something that was sassy. So that clarified some things. But then he started asking, Ken, he's like, "Which of our mutual friends calls me?" Chrisie, "Who calls Chris?" Chrisie, "Who calls Chrisie?" And I had a realization that Kenya just must be confused about Chris Christie. She must have been just watching too much news. - Chris Christie. - I was watching my friend, Donald Trump, on the presidential debate. - You know that Kim's husband shuts down bridges, okay? He's not trustworthy, okay? They've been calling him Chris Christie for like all his life. And he, I mean to know this, he's like the governor of New Jersey. And he doesn't even tell any of us. - Kim's husband is too fat to be president. That's all I'm saying. I mean, all I'm doing is repeating the rumor that he's the governor of a state. - So notice that during this fight, Chris was going after Kenya and he goes, "Look, I'm an actor, I'm a performer. I'm not, I'm used to people calling me gay, but I'm secure in my manhood." Okay, which wrong answer, wrong. You know, gay men are men too, okay, fuck her. And he's already learned that because he got in a fight with Porsche's best friend on the internet, on the Twitter a couple weeks ago, going back and forth. And he said the same thing. And this guy was like gay, gay people were men too, jerk. So he's already heard that and he's still repeating that shit. - Yeah. - And then they... - Well, but I think there's a fair... - There's a flip side to that when you say, I'm secure in my manhood, meaning that like, I'm not gonna get upset because I don't take it as like, oh my God, like a threat the way someone who was insecure about their manhood would. 'Cause it's so in a way, it's like, it could be taken as an insult to what I would say. - But even saying that, like, insecure in your manhood, your manhood isn't the point. - Yes, yes, yes. - I mean, I don't get defensive about shit like that. I don't care, I just thought it was interesting that that's still how he phrases it. But then he's like, but I know a lot of gay people and I love them all and there is nothing wrong with it, they're just not as manly as me. But then Fader, I think, was the one he said, well, let's face it, everybody's husband on this, everybody, every man on this show has been called gay. I think he's except Greg. And then Andy said, what about you, Peter? If you've been called gay and Cynthia said, oh no, he's the great hope. He's like the... - Oh, I didn't hear her. - He gets everyone hope. And so everybody started laughing and they're like, oh, and Andy was just looking at the ground, touching his temple like I am about to fucking... - Well, before you get to that moment... - You get to that moment all over these people. - Before you even get to that moment, just backing up just a little bit to feed into this, well, it was fun as they were all talking about like, you know, this Chris, this, all this stuff. And then, you know, Porsche gets... Peter calls out, you know, someone calls out Porsche about gay, like, you know, participating in this discussion when she was married to Cordell Stewart, who also had gay rumors around that, whatever. And she's like, it was all Kenya, it was all Kenya. And then she's like, back in the corner, just talking about it a lot. Like, she's, you know, in the clips you see her talking about Chris lying down delicately and she's like mocking it. And then she's like, no, he really was lying down delicately. He really was lying down delicately. And Peter's like, well, why don't you show us how he was, how he was lying. And then Andy Cohen goes, let's not, let's not. And I'm like, you know what, Andy? You're the one who stoked this madness. You're the one who creates the situation. You're the one who okay's for, okay's it to be on TV and you ask them the questions about it. And then this happens and you're like, no, let's not be day classic. Come on, no, this is ridiculous. Come on, Andy, you're the one, listen Andy, you created this circus, okay? Let her portray it. But what I also thought was funny was one Phaedra said, "Every man on this show has been called gay." And Todd's like, not me. And Peter's like, no, not me. And everyone's like, no, it's like, it's really only been Apollo, I'm sorry. (laughing) I think so. I mean, I think, I thought Matt was gay. Now I don't, because I believe his insta-flirting more than his relationship with Kenya. And I think it was with a woman. I don't think it was specified who it was, but I'm assuming, you know, the way he was talking seemed like he was talking to some stripper or something. How a man would talk to a stripper. Like, hey, honey. But then this leads us to the point though. Yeah, Brenda, this is so-- Andy Cordell and Apollo, I think, are the onlys, yeah. Yeah, but then Andy, so to get to your point where you were leading up to, that's when Andy was like, "Actually you all sound kind of gay-bassy "and you're all laughing about it "and it's like really not cool." And they're all like, "Oh." Not a good luck. No, it's not a pretty luck. Not a pretty luck. It's good for him for saying that, by the way. Oh, he always does. He gets so-- But he, it's like very sensitive. Convenient righteousness, convenient righteousness. Yes, and then of course Nini continues to make shit comments all the time. She makes some of the most homophobic, shitty comments about people. And she's still sitting there right next to him. Yeah. So please lecture people when you fire that bitch. And then Kenya, like, they press her to apologize to Chris and she's like, "If it is somehow offensive to you," and he's like, "That's terrible. "It's terrible, try again." Nope, try again. Okay, try it. Fourth time, give it another try, no, okay. Oh my God, and then the fucking gigantic, gigantor behind her. Chris is like, "Yeah, I'm asking, I'm talking to Kenya. "I'm talking to Kenya, son, I'm talking to you, son." And he's like, "No, let her just answer the question. "Please," and he's like, "No, I'm going to talk to her. "That's what I'm saying, son." And Mandy's like, "No, no, be quiet. "Just be quiet, okay?" I was talking to you, rented it. Shut up. (mumbles) He's like, "Okay, finally." And everybody's like, "I got a, I got a P." "Hey, man, when we get a break, okay, Peter got a P." And he's like, "New batch of fittest brew coming right up?" And Mandy goes, "How drunk are you?" Yeah. (laughs) Goes out drunk, are you today?" And he's like, "No, no, no." He's like, "This is you sober?" (laughs) And he's getting a lot better with this, I think. I'm loving how he's calling people out. And then there was this thing about Portia finding her assistant and anger management ball of a lot. And then Nini offers up this advice. She's like, "I have been doing this forever. "I have been torn apart, and I have never touched anybody." And Portia's like, "Can you choke somebody?" Oh, that was hilarious, and everyone started laughing. And then she's like, "Did you ever see any footage of it?" I was like, "Uh, that's not the way that works, Nini." That's like, and she's like, "Your brand, "you have to be careful with your brand." Like, "Be careful with your brand." I was like, "Oh, I mean, she's savvy. "She knows, Nini knows." I like that she literally said, "If you didn't see it on camera, "it's because I'm not stupid enough to let it be filmed." You were, and that's the point. And I was like, "Oh, well, Lisa, it's honesty right there." Yeah, it is. But so the issue is not like you got to control your anger. The issue is you can't be seen being crazy. Exactly. You can't be seen that way on TV, which I guess she's probably learned because she kept talking about, "Oh, the show just got so exhausting." And it's like, "No, you got way too big for your britches." Yeah. And now you finally realized, "Oh, this is the Nini that we love." And the world hated you because you were acting like that. And it was all caught on camera, not beating anybody up, but just being an awful human being. And she is literally telling everybody her game plan. She's like, "You cannot be seen this way on camera "because brand, so thank you for explaining "your obvious fakery." And then, of course, Kenya weighs in. Kenya weighs in, and this is like my favorite quote of her. She goes, "I can only speak for myself, "but I know some of the other girls "are uncomfortable being around you." I'm like, "That's exactly the opposite "of speaking for yourself. "I can only speak for myself." But Cynthia says, God, that's stupid. And then they all start lecturing Portia. "Look, I get it." Like, Portia did hit Kenya, but then Kenya did have a bullhorn in her face. Kenya deserved that shit. I'm sorry. Like, you should never lay hands, but she should never have been allowed to use that bullhorn in her ear and use all those other stupid props. Yeah. And Kenya's like, "Yeah, there." She goes again, blaming everybody else. Yeah, but you did start it. You literally did start it. And then the next one was Cynthia getting in her face and doing all of that shit. She kind of started that one as well, but they're saying, "If we can't even fight on TV "without kicking our houses." So I get that too. It's just they're going really overboard, I think, with Portia when, I don't know, I don't see, I can understand her motive, is what I'm saying. Her motive is-- - Yeah, absolutely. I agree. So I'm trying to hit people, et cetera, et cetera. But I love when they all start lecturing people on this show. And these are like some of the most horrible people. I mean, you've got Kenya, Nini, Cynthia, who just tried to make someone look terrible and lied about the feds. And you've got all these people doing all these things. And then they start getting all high and mighty. Poor little old Portia. Just leave her alone so she hits people sometimes. She's tan. - So on that note, we put Atlanta to bed for the season. - Goodbye. - We are now, it is done, we are done, I'm glad it's done. Atlanta was really getting exhausting to me towards the end. As it does every season, I always think the first half is good and then the second half sort of like, struggles along, but-- - This one was, wow, this one was really good, one episode, then really stupid, then really good, then really boring, then really great, then really dumb. So anyway, thank you all for listening. Thank you again to everyone who came out last night. We want to do more of those shows. I hope that everyone bought enough booze so that way the improv invites us back to do another one of these happy hour shows or maybe even a non-happy hour show. If we can work our way up to something like a time like at 8 p.m. instead of like 6 p.m, that would be amazing. So thank you everyone for coming by. Thanks for listening, everyone. Facebook.com/watchforcrapins. Patreon.com/watchforcrapins and watchforcrapins.com for social media. And is there anything else? - Oh no, that's it. We love you guys. Thank you for everything. - Yeah, bonus episode will go up on Wednesday this week and we'll see you on Thursday. - Bye. - Bye. - Try texture for free right now when you go to texture.com/crapins. Texture.com/crapins. - If you like watch what Crapins, you can listen ad-free right now by joining Wondery Plus in the Wondery App or on Apple Podcasts. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. Before you go, tell us about yourself by filling out a short survey at wondery.com/survey. - I'm Lindsey Graham, host of Wondery Show American Scandal. We bring to life some of the biggest controversies in US history, presidential lies, environmental disasters, corporate fraud. In our latest series, entrepreneur Lou Perlman becomes the mastermind behind two of the biggest pop groups in the world, the Backstreet Boys and In Sync. He also oversees a sprawling business empire that includes a charter jet company, restaurants and real estate, but Perlman's successful facade crumbles after he sued by the boy bands for siphoning millions from them and soon investigators discover that Perlman is keeping his empire afloat through an even more devious scheme. Follow American Scandal on the Wondery App or wherever you get your podcasts. Experience all episodes ad-free and be the first to binge the newest seasons only on Wondery Plus. You can join Wondery Plus in the Wondery App, Apple Podcast or Spotify. Start your free trial today.
